Told My Mom! Not Good!

[StillNeedCntrl]

Sorry I have been so quiet guys. My real shrink and I decided I needed a little mental health vacation and an evaluation for some meds to help me feel better. Stayed at the mental health center again which is actually kind of nice. They didn't have anyone watching me this time so I had plenty of peace and quiet. And having nurses to change me again was fun

Told the shrink that I was getting irritated with people always watching me and ALWAYS having to talk about stuff. He told my parents to back off a bit, and also told my Christian shrink to cut back on the number of sessions I have with her. He says I need to focus on my REAL problems right now, not the stuff the church is concerened with.

My real shink thinks I have post traumatic stress disorder and I was kind of numb when I hadn't told anyone what happened but once I had to talk about it I remembered everything and started freaking out. He says working on that is the number one issue. That and getting me well enough to be able to go to school soon which we both think is very important (mainly living in a dorm with people my age and out of the hands of the church)

[Guest Guest]

Good to hear from you, and glad to hear the shrink is a good one. Unfortuneately, healing from trauma takes time, lots of it. Make sure that if you react badly to someone that you realize and share with the person that you didn't want to react that way and it's not the other person's fault.

I've just been interrupted, so will have to finish later....

Sorry I have been so quiet guys. My real shrink and I decided I needed a little mental health vacation and an evaluation for some meds to help me feel better. Stayed at the mental health center again which is actually kind of nice. They didn't have anyone watching me this time so I had plenty of peace and quiet. And having nurses to change me again was fun

[Guest Dill Pickle]

That interruption lasted a few hours.....and then I started catching up on e-mail...I was up until about 4:30 last night with an ER visit....so pretty sleepy....

The thought that goes through my head repeatedly is: "you are a virgin"...and it leads me to wonder whether you have much sex education... So my first question is if the "prick" did anything that might lead you to catch something...because he has undoubtedly had many partners, and his chance of carrying very serioius sexually transmitted diseases (e.g. aids, chlamydia, syphilis) is quite high. Take care of yourself and your future partner and find out;ask your real shrink about it. (That's another bit you would probably get from the sexual assault people). I'm not asking for painful details here.

The second thought is that you probably want to lay your hands on a copy of the book "The joy of sex". It will fill in many gaps in your knowledge, in addition to being quite an interesting read.

Finally, do you know your actual sexual orientation? (Hint: it's probably still whatever it was before there was a "prick" in your life) It's also OK not to know, and it's OK to have some rather odd feelings....like you should have been a girl...

it's really a question of how your brain is wired internally. Do you get turned on by looking at men or women?, or both equally? Our ex-teenage daughter hung out with the gay-straight alliance at her school for a long time in part because she was so turned off by the people in her high-school. When she finally got her GED and went to college she started going out with guys.

I classify myself as hetero, and have a GF, but found myself one day attracted to a guy that came to work with me...and probably would have gotten involved sexually with him if I hadn't had my GF and been a bit younger. Nobody else at work knows about my predilection for adding extra padding to my own rump.....

Dill Pickle wrote:

Good to hear from you, and glad to hear the shrink is a good one.

[StillNeedCntrl]

The thought that goes through my head repeatedly is: "you are a virgin"...and it leads me to wonder whether you have much sex education...

[Diapers4Me]

"unpure thoughts"......Gag me! This is a perfect example of why I hate religion!

If God is almighty (and I think he is), and if God created the universe (which he may well have done), do you think he is so insecure and self centered as to want peons like us worshiping him? I think NOT. In fact I think he'd be mad to think we were wasting our short time on earth worshiping anything.

Do something productive with your life.....and ENJOY it!

[Morv]

Ok, cool.

You got a chick that will do it with you -- good first step. Don't just jump into it though -- let her actually help her out. You'll gain a lot more from the experience with a little patience. Seriously man. If someone had beat me over the head with this before my first time -- well, nevermind, that was with the one I still refer to as my psycho-nympho-ex.

Either way:

1) Let her help you learn how to please her. Try oral sex -- both ways. If you decide you don't like it, fine, but don't let the concept stop you.

2) Don't let this conflict with your morals. It shouldn't, but try and resolve any possible before, and after.

3) Enjoy yourself. It will be worth it.

4) Wait 15 minutes, and try it again. At your age, this should be realistic advice, unless she isn't up for it.

5) Practice making the sound of a llama. It drives women wild.

And as to the shit about religion -- hey, humans are imperfect. That's what Christianity teaches. It should only be assumed that there's enough imperfect humans involved in any religion to fuck it up to the point where any logical human must really think to find the truth. Consider it a test of faith, a test from God. Capitulating your own religion with human flaws... can be hard.

Good luck in all times. Either way, a first time is a frickn' great time You won't forget it, good or bad, so do your best to make it good. (There's nothing wrong with going out to dinner or a movie before and/or after. Be appreciative.)

Respect, in the deepest meaning of the word, for other people. At the root, this is what Christ stood for anyway. We all just manifest it in different ways.

[Guest Guest]

If God is almighty (and I think he is), and if God created the universe (which he may well have done), do you think he is so insecure and self centered as to want peons like us worshiping him? I think NOT. In fact I think he'd be mad to think we were wasting our short time on earth worshiping anything.

Well, I know that _I_ would be, except that I would make sure that everyone was in line, with fire, brimstone and lightning bolts for those who displease me

Of course, being omnipotent I would have known from the beginning of time they would displease me, so why allow them to be created in the first place? Creating them just to punish them is sadism, and not the fun kind

[abdljoey]

There are now ten pages to this thread. If you read through all of it, you will see that StillInCtrl has not really asked for anyone to diagnose his religious views, but for support in the process of dealing with his parents. He has said a number of times that he agrees (mostly) with his church.

Maybe those who want to discuss theology and their own philosophy of religion should start a new thread. Try to be in his shoes.

For example, Morv, you have several times tried to say what Christ really taught. OK fine. But when you said, "That doesn't mean don't look at porn or fantasize about some big breasted woman you saw on the tube. I mean, seriously, read the Bible. Jesus himself hung out with hookers." ... perhaps you were not aware that while Jesus hung out with hookers he also taught a high level of purity... "You have heard that it was said, `Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Whether we choose to follow that or acknowledge Jesus' view or authority is another matter. In other words, I am wondering if citing religious views to try to bolster your own view is effective if you do not fully appreciate the total view of the Bible from which he is coming? And then it has given rise to posts on theological views (next paragraph) which are not really germane to StillInCtrl.

What's happening, is that the shift to "why I hate religion" and "creating them [people] just to punish them is sadism" is not really supporting StillInCtrl. Is he supposed to rise to a defense of his faith here?

The issue of his church, the church counselor that has an apparent bias (helpfully or maybe not), the pastor who gossips via public prayer, and such issues ARE on topic because they relate to StillInCtrl's posts and the initial request of dealing with his parents on the issue of diapers and related matters.

The theology issues certainly do RELATE, but are not going to help him much at this point.

I can appreciate the points made and even empathize with them. I just wonder if they might not be more appropriate in a different thread.

Hugs, Joey

[Guest Guest]

Is he supposed to rise to a defense of his faith here?

This part is not an attack, just my objective observation on the situation grounded solely in logic.

The real fact is that for most people religious faith a warm fuzzy security blanket, based (dictionary definition) on absolutely no logic or material evidence. When people's faith that they know the will of an omnipotent being not proven to exist is directly harming you (which in this case it is), yet you still hang to the same ideals, but try to ignore the parts you don't like (which he's doing), that's when you have a real problem. If you are unwilling to go along with the precepts of your church, you should leave it. They're there to service you, not you them, and until God comes down, holds a press conference and declares his annoited earthbound reps, no one has absolute authority to declare his will.

The issue of his church, the church counselor that has an apparent bias (helpfully or maybe not), the pastor who gossips via public prayer, and such issues ARE on topic because they relate to StillInCtrl's posts and the initial request of dealing with his parents on the issue of diapers and related matters

Sure will. He leaves his church, most of his problems go away. In my personal opinion, staying with this church is like being gay and a baptist, catholic, mormon, muslim, republican etc. You're showing allegience to an organization that refuses to accept you as who you are, and will go so far as to jail you for it (republicans). It does him absolutely no good to be in that church, and it only hurts him. The sooner he gets out of there, the better. If he intends to continue in a religious manner, at least find a denomonation that's accepting like the Episcopalians or the Unitarians. It's all the same god anyway. Besides, the Gospels even condemn church going, and says that prayer should be a private thing:

Matthew

6:5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. (6:5-6)

"Enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray."

6:6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

6:7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.

6:8 Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.

[Pipsqueak]

I can appreciate the points made and even empathize with them. I just wonder if they might not be more appropriate in a different thread.

I agree. I know it's human nature to ramble off topic, but Still did not ask our advice on his religion. No matter what our opinions on it might be, he has a right to practise any religion he chooses.

Speaking as an atheist, I get angry when people try to convert me or tell me that I'm wrong. I'm sure it's just as annoying for someone in a particular religion to have people of other religions or no religion telling them that they're wrong. No one just abandons their belief system because someone on a forum board tells them they should. It's important to question what you believe, but not to impose what you believe on someone else. Still needs to find a way to live with this particular part of himself, within the framework of what he personally believes. It's not up to us to change him.

Religious debates belong in the "Rest of Your Life" thread.

[StillNeedCntrl]

1)

[StillNeedCntrl]

Almost forgot the really cool part. My friend took one of my diapers and is going to wear it when she comes over so I'll be more comfortable

[Morv]

Hey good luck. Be safe and enjoy.

And as to the religous things -- the important thing is that you're comfortable with it. I don't claim to be a religous expert -- Just trying to present a view, and a view that happens to say it is ok. Others may, and seem to, present views to the contrary.

I think it is ok for religion to enter into this -- let's all just try to be respectful of each other. And try and keep it at least on topic to the conversation.

(And as far as commiting adultery, unless I'm mistaken, don't you have to be married to commit adultery? I mean, nice verse, but the fun part is right after that line, that is the bit about gouging out your own right eye or cutting off your right hand.)

But, either way again, as my mom always says to me, "Safe and happy!"

[StillNeedCntrl]

Ugh, I almost blew it! I had bad nightmares last night and woke up screaming and sick again. Mom didn't want to leave my alone, but I finally convinced her I was fine and her and Dad are leaving in an hour or so!

Still really nervous but looking forward to "becoming a man."

[Pipsqueak]

I understand what you're saying Still, but truly, "becoming a man" has NOTHING to do with what's between your legs and EVERYTHING to do with what's between your ears.

Please use a condom! You might not have had other partners but this girl clearly has, and you don't want to take the risk of adding an STD to your list of problems, or a pregnancy for that matter.

[StillNeedCntrl]

I understand what you're saying Still, but truly, "becoming a man" has NOTHING to do with what's between your legs and EVERYTHING to do with what's between your ears.

Please use a condom!

[Guest Guest]

Well, you *are* in a relationship....it's a question of how much of one.....and how long it lasts....my guess is that it won't last all that long....just because what starts quickly has a tendency to end just as quickly....

Glad to hear your nerves were OK once you got together...was worried about the nightmares the night before or that you might hit a sort of flashback once you were together...

I didn't mean the "becoming a man" comment seriously

We did use condoms. I had some trouble with nerves at first, but it was really good

[Morv]

If you can believe it -- it only gets better from here man.

Relax -- and know you're accepted.

There was a quote that I popped out in another thread, that I'll toss out the end of here:

There you go man. Keep as cool as you can. Face piles of trials with smiles. It riles them to believe that you percieve the web they weave. And keep on thinkin' free.

-- "In the Beginning," The Moody Blues

Just love that quote. Anyway -- Enjoy yourself, 'cause if you don't, you can never be sure who will.

[StillNeedCntrl]

Thanks

My therapist is okay with me having a girlfriend, but he wants her to attend counceling with me a few times so we can talk about my "issues" so she understands if I react weird to something in bed or anything like that. I've told her everything already so I'm okay with that and she thinks its a good idea too so no biggie.

My dad REALLY likes me hanging out with Jan more. Think he was still worried that I might be gay because I didn't hang out with girls all the time

My mom doesn't like it as much. She says I'm not ready. But I think I am so we are going to try it!

We've been friends for a few years so we're hoping we can be 'more than friends' without screwing up our friendship. Gonna slow down on the sex stuff a little and go on some regular dates first.

I'm still wetting the bed most nights. The sleeping pill I take just makes me not wake up when I need too so unless I have a nightmare I sleep till morning. Tried not taking the pill for a few days but went right back to not being able to sleep. I wear diapers every night, and most of the time during the day too. Still like being in diapers a lot and Jan is okay with me wearing them

[Morv]

How much do you eat and drink in the four or so hours before you go to bed? I'd think someone would have mentioned this, but, hey, sometimes you never know. (My own experience with computer problems is that asking "is it on?" and "is it plugged in?" solves almost all the problems that asking "did you just try restarting it?" doesn't solve. Point is, always check the basics.) Also are you on any medication that might cause you to have to pee more, for whatever reason? (It may sound like a strange reason, but you never know -- this comes from an extremely healthy, physically active and athletic 23 year old who is on blood pressure medication that does just that. Hey, my doctor thought that backpacking for 600 miles in the mountains would cure my problem, but NOOOO! Damned medical science. )

But, carry on. (We need an emoticon of a peace symbol -- it's my favorite sign off line )

[StillNeedCntrl]

Sorry I have not posted in a week. My shrink decided I needed a break from my family (and a test to see how I do being away from them before I go off to school) and sent me to this cool retreat place. Basically a summer camp for young adults. I got to go swimming, fishing, hiking and all kinds of other cool stuff.

Was kind of weird wearing diapers in the bunk house as I was in a large bedroom with seven other guys. Was impossible to keep it a secret since we shared not only a bedroom but toilets/showers. They were all cool about it though... did get me a nickname of Baby Boy for the week

Back home now and should be in bed but I ran out of my medicine and can't sleep. Got to get it refilled in the morning.

[dldad]

Congratulations of the girl friend. Have been out touch for sometime myself, having time issues when the rest of the family is home and using the site. Glad to see the main therapist wants Jan to attend some meetings. I would, I think, greatly help her to understand what you have been going through. This could be especially important for a relationship to progress from being friends, and sex partners, to anything beyoud. Sounds as though she is very open minded, and helpful towards your needs. But don't forget her needs as well, and not just sexual. Take your time, know that sounds easier than it is, but I think it will help your relationship with Jan.

As traumatic experience as you had with your attacker, it will most likely be quite sometime before your nightmares disappear. Stay cool, and try to enjoy life to the fullest.

[Guest Dill Pickle]

Glad to hear from you, was getting a bit worried...I was reading a fascinating book on the mormon religion this week called "under the banner of Heaven"...not a light read....

Sorry I have not posted in a week. My shrink decided I needed a break from my family (and a test to see how I do being away from them before I go off to school) and sent me to this cool retreat place. Basically a summer camp for young adults. I got to go swimming, fishing, hiking and all kinds of other cool stuff.

Was kind of weird wearing diapers in the bunk house as I was in a large bedroom with seven other guys. Was impossible to keep it a secret since we shared not only a bedroom but toilets/showers. They were all cool about it though... did get me a nickname of Baby Boy for the week

[abdljoey]

"summer camp for adults"

Summer? Sheesh! The ground froze here, north of Boston. What kind of "summer" camp is open in late October?

Sounds amazing that other adults did not hassle you about the diapers... what kind of place was this ??

Joey

[Morv]

Bah, it's all relative. Frozen grass feels so nice and crispy on bare feet, and the crisp air that snaps the leaves from their pleasant greens is so invigorating.