Told My Mom! Not Good!

[StillNeedCntrl]

I told my mom that I like to wear diapers and want a mommy or daddy to take care of me because I still feel like I need to be controled. She went off about how sick I am and told the pastor of our church I need help. He came over today and he and mom have decided I need to go to some christian program where they teach you to not act on impulses to do weird sexual things and will teach me to have normal healthy relationships.

I am 18 but can't afford to move out so I guess I dont have much choice but to go.

It's my fault really. I know my mom is a bit of a religious nut but I thought being 18 she'd just let me be who I am. Don't tell your family about your fetish unless youre sure they'll be okay with it!

[GrimIronMan]

I told my mom that I like to wear diapers and want a mommy or daddy to take care of me because I still feel like I need to be controled. She went off about how sick I am and told the pastor of our church I need help. He came over today and he and mom have decided I need to go to some christian program where they teach you to not act on impulses to do weird sexual things and will teach me to have normal healthy relationships.

I am 18 but can't afford to move out so I guess I dont have much choice but to go.

It's my fault really. I know my mom is a bit of a religious nut but I thought being 18 she'd just let me be who I am. Don't tell your family about your fetish unless youre sure they'll be okay with it!

My personal opinion is that you tell her that your 18 and you should be allowed to control your own life. Now that your 18, you need to stand up to her. Don't blame yourself for what your mom said. She really needs to accept that your 18 and that it's YOUR life now. I had the same problem with my mom being religeous, and I abandoned Chritianity due to it. Trust me, my life changed for the better. If she says that "It's her house, her rules", tell her that you can't afford your own house and say that you need money. Just be assertive.

[Pipsqueak]

My condolences, Still. The only impulses you need to learn not to act on, are the ones that involve spilling your private secrets to family and friends.

This seems to be a common topic lately among the younger board members. Please take the advice of those of us who've lived a little longer with our ab/dl secret ... there is no need to tell your family about your desire to wear diapers. The only exception would be if you were in a long-term relationship. In that instance it would be unfair not to share that part of you with a mate.

Trust me, just as you would rather not know that your parents are into something kinky, they do not really wish to know what their adult kids are into. We are allowed to have secrets. Your ab/dl interest does not hurt anyone, so it's nobody's business. Instead of sharing it with people who would rather not know about it, come to this site or any of the other diaper sites and talk about it with people who share and understand these desires. Ab/dl's can live long and happy lives without their parents ever knowing they still like to wear diapers.

As for the church counselling thing ... you can tell your mother that you are not interested in attending and that you're sorry you brought it up and you won't bring it up to her again. If she makes it a condition of your continuing to live in her house, then you have two choices ... you do what she asks or you find a new place to live. Good luck to you.

[BabyMIKE]

you are your own person, you have to make decisions on your own. that is excatley what i had to do, and ive never been better off. Dont let others influnce your decision or your life i dont mean break-up or fall out with your family over this, just bide your time and things will work out, my parents just said it's none of there buissnes, say you dont want thing's to change but you dont want thing's to stay the same either. what i say dosent matter you hafta follow your own heart

[Rhezz]

was it you who posted a while ago about telling? and im sure i said not adviceable. What i do, is just say your going through a rough time, tell her you been seing a girl you havent told her about and she dumped you, and you dont know what your going through. Its just lead you to confusion.

good alaby, if your mom wont listen i can say , the tension will prolly get bad, unless you stand up for yourself, if she doesnt buy it..

its worth a try

[BuzzCat]

awwwwww tell her 2 get lost.

She shud luv u 4 being yheself not try and change yhe ways.

[Sarevor]

You're 18, you don't have to do what your Mother tells you to do. I don't know much about your family, but I doubt your Mother will kick you out of the house if you don't attend this brain washing camp.

For your Mother to panic, just means she is worried about you and wants to make sure you are healthy. Don't take what she says to heart, she doesn't understand, and people condemn and fear anything they don't know.

You're 18, you're a man, act like one, and stand up for yourself.

[Nangza]

tell her to piss off. I would, Id tell my mom Id go camp indefinately at the local campsite before I go trying to tell a bunch of churchies how I feel. If she cant understand that its hard enough just to tell her, that its not a real problem, let alone her problem, then as far as Im concerned she can get lost. Thats what I would do, but then, I never told my parents

[Pipsqueak]

If she says that "It's her house, her rules", tell her that you can't afford your own house and say that you need money. Just be assertive.

Excuse me?!! While I don't agree with someone throwing her son out of the house because he refuses to attend some church group intended to 'cure' him of his deviancy, it is HER house. At 18 he's there because she is allowing him to stay there. She is not obligated to give her 18 year old a house to live in.

Telling her that he can't afford his own place and that he needs money is not assertive, it's the actions of a spoiled brat who thinks he's entitled to do as he pleases, when he pleases, and still have Mommy look after him.

As for the comments suggesting he tell her to piss off or get lost ... how many of you would say that to your own mother? Probably none of you. Even adult babies have to act like grown-ups some of the time. He made an error in judgement when he shared his secret with her. It's out there now and can't be taken back. He has to deal with the consequences of taking that action, whatever they may be.

[Guest Guest]

Excuse me?!! While I don't agree with someone throwing her son out of the house because he refuses to attend some church group intended to 'cure' him of his deviancy, it is HER house. At 18 he's there because she is allowing him to stay there. She is not obligated to give her 18 year old a house to live in.

Telling her that he can't afford his own place and that he needs money is not assertive, it's the actions of a spoiled brat who thinks he's entitled to do as he pleases, when he pleases, and still have Mommy look after him.

As for the comments suggesting he tell her to piss off or get lost ... how many of you would say that to your own mother? Probably none of you. Even adult babies have to act like grown-ups some of the time. He made an error in judgement when he shared his secret with her. It's out there now and can't be taken back. He has to deal with the consequences of taking that action, whatever they may be.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I completely agree with what you said. Now for those of you who seem to be putting down the religious aspect of this guy’s mother. You can't fault his mother for thinking that his fetish at first sight is part of some greater sexual deviancy that needs to be corrected. It’s easier for us to look at it from the inside than it is on the outside. Think about this, how many of you would suggest help be it religious or not for someone who said they were a pedophile? We ALL know that is wrong and maybe that is exactly what his mother was thinking, so please don’t be so quick to judge someone who suggests religious options as a means to overcome what other perceive to be a problem. How many of you would be just as upset if she had suggested for him to see a psychologist? Religion is not bad, it is the people who make it bad.

[StillNeedCntrl]

I didn't want to tell her. She found my diapers and confronted me about them and I couldn't think of a good lie so I told the truth.

Me and her have been talking a lot tonight. I told her I didn't want to go to the christian program but I would if she insisted on it.

For now we cut a deal. I have to start seeing a christian shrink the church recomended and if he or she decides I need more serious help then I will go to the program. I'm not allowed to have any kind of sex and can only wear diapers IF I MUST in my room at night. Right now I am feeling too much shame to wear them anyway.

Standing up to my mom is not really an option for me right now. I need to be here in her house for now and as long as I don't fight her attempts to help me she isn't going to tell anyone else in the family what is going on. Don't want my whole family thinking i'm a freak.

[ramuh787]

I feel really bad for you and I'll try and offer some advice.

For one dont feel shame for what you do. I dont think sigmond freud ever delt with diaper lovers but I think he would think something about how we all have energy we need to release. Diaper wearing is a very safe and innocent alternative to say drugs, unprotected sex, or heavy drinking. Yeah its something most people dont do but your not hurting yourself or anyone else.

For now downplay your diaper interest as much as you can. Maybe go to the psyc and keep the conversation on other parts in your life. Perhaps start acting more cheerful then you used to. Just kind of put your diaper interest into hibernation for a while.

We are all willing to help you in anyway we can

[Rhezz]

how did she find them, getting sloppy are we?

[Guest Guest_Apemantus_*]

Ah, for goodness sake, everyone get off their high horses!

This guy has a pastime that is completely harmless. Whether he still lives at home or not, his mother is a religious nutter (she is the Christian equivalent of a fundamentalist). He ain't gonna be able to assuage her, because she thinks he is deviant. Not slightly screwed up, but evil, possessed by the devil. No amount of discussion can change that.

Leave home, do some growing up (and have fun fucking while you're doing it!) and forget about your mother's narrow mind and attempt to brainwash you!

Life is too short, get on with it!

[StillNeedCntrl]

how did she find them, getting sloppy are we?

Yes! I hid one under my pillow while taking a shower. She decided to make my bed!

I can't believe some of the advice on here. I like wearing diapers but I'm not willing to just turn away from my family for them! I think we can get to a place where the diapers are ignored or accepted. It's the wanting a Mommy or Daddy I think has her freaked out because she thinks that means I'm gay or bi (which I'm not) or that I won't ever have a normal relationship and start a family.

I saw the shrink this morning and she said the goal is not to change who I think I am but to deal with WHY I feel that way and hopefully teach me to have healthy relationships and make whatever I like to do "for fun" a small part of a healthy relationship and not the basis of an unhealthy one.

Thanks to those who sent me private messages. I don't get on here often though so please email me instead stillneedcntrl@aol.com

[Rhezz]

She sent you to a shrink?

[BuzzCat]

I say definatly move out.

Wonder if yhe can get a council flat, like I got.Which is free cos da council pays for it.

Me moved out wen i woz 16 cos me parents found out i luved nappies, went really mad and worse.

Went to stay with my best friend, and luckerly her parents didn't mind me luv of nappies, as dats how my best friend got to wear dem.As she woz fascinated by em and tried 1 and was hooked.

Anyway got me own flat at age 18 and didn't tell me parents where I'd gone, cos basically when i lived with parents my life woz hell all da time.

[wylz]

Well, difficult topic, that...

First, I have to agree that it's not always a good idea to come out of the closet with all familly and friends, but it appears that in this case you did the best you could on short notice. Though... Perhaps unconsiously you did want to get caught, if you left the nappy easily accessible like that...

I must agree as well, time you stood on your own, but... If you live under your parent's roof, that does give them certain rights. If you can't afford to move, figure out a way to afford it, plan for it.

Me, a bit like buzzcat, I was forced to move out on the very day I turned 17. Not because of nappies, but other issues (read about them on my website if you're so inclined).

I must admit, I find a bit of a problem with people offering advice along the line of telling mum to piss off. This seems, to me, very drastic and potentially harmful. But then, that could just be my own take being a little weird. Chuck it off on experience

[StillNeedCntrl]

No I wasn't trying to get caught. I was trying not to by putting the diaper under my pillow at a time when I was sure I was alone enough to get it out of the bag hidden in my closet.

Just got back from seeing the shrink again. YES I have to go every day! I don't think she's a real doctor though, just a christian counselor.

So far she doesn't seem to care about the diapers because I said they arent sexual to me. More of a sex thing. She wanted to talk about what I would do with a guy who I choose as a Daddy for me and why that shouldnt be what I want.

They want me to visit the program tomorrow which I guess means they still plan to send me there. I just hope it's not a trap!

[Lil_Miss_Ruffles]

I worry about this "camp."

Sure, I imagine some of them do a good thing, but there's also those that make the news. Physical abuse if you don't toe the line, etc.

Just remember that you ARE 18 and DON'T have to go there if you don't like the feel of things. Be damn careful if they want you to sign anything. Read all the fine print. Know your rights.

You might compromise with your mom by telling her you will continue to see this "counselor" but will not go to this camp. See what she says.

Just worried for you is all.

***hugs***

Ruffles

[Guest Guest]

I worry about this "camp."

[Rhezz]

Naturally you wouldnt want to move, but if your mothers so selfish so here perfect world with her perfect son reality isnt going to happen, she will drive you to this camp and all other things hoping you will get fixed. Sit down with here, have a one to one. and tell her its not going to change anything, Councelling will continue, but she cant send you to teh camp

[edlomon05]

i agree with the talk to your mom part

the part of sending you somwhere.... i dont see the need. i mean everyone has something that is odd about them.

i mean i also like to listen to hard rock, doesnt mean i have to be sent out until i like christian music lol

basically now that your secret is out, tell her about it. there are a few sites out there that let parents read about this and tell them what to do and how to concept the issue at hand.

i know a hardcore christian in my family so i know where your at with your mom

me personally wouldnt tell my family, they really dont need to know and i dont show it(im real good with hiding my feelings)

i would only tell my girlfriend after i know she can be trusted.

hope the best for you dude, stay strong with talking to your mom and not going to some camp. if possible maybe move out to a friends house or save up some money to move out. though trying to get your mom to understand to a top idea i think as you will always need her in your life.

best of luck in getting her to understand

[rhh126]

I know the feeling. Shortly after I got married I decided to tell my wife, she was the first person I've ever told. and man, did she ever flip out. For a while, she thought I was a pedophile, and insisted on seeing a shrink. So we did, and the guy convinced her that there's nothing wrong with me and although this is one of the more unusual fetishes, its not unheard of, and it's definitely not sick or dangerous. The best argument he used was that if I was a pedophile, I'd have hurt a child or been caught with kiddie porn or something by now, and that I had no signs of that.

I agree with the arguments that this camp is a bad idea. Also, I'm not so sure about the "Christian shrink". Nothing against Christianity....I gave up on it long ago for a variety of reasons (none of them diaper or sex related) but I worry that a Christian shrink will side with your mom. The thing is, hardcore Christians and Puritan types, while generally nice and well-meaning, tend to be slightly out of touch with how the real world works. I'd say a professional psychiatrist is the best bet to clear the air with your mom.....he won't take sides and will be able to supply concrete explanations for your interest.

[StillNeedCntrl]

I saw the shrink with my mom today and the shrink spent most of the time telling my mom what to do!

She said that she was getting worried about me because I was looking and acting more depresed every day she sees me. She told my mom she needs to lay off me since I am doing my part by ageeing to the therapy sessions. She also told my mom to give me permission to wear diapers becuase I NEED them right now to feel okay and that she knows diapers are not sexual or a sin for me. She said as long as I am getting help from her and following the rules they gave me that my mom should not do or say anything to add to my stress. The rules I have to follow are no sex, no masturbation, no porn, and if I do one of those things I have to tell my shrink about it so we can talk about it

So I'm wearing a diaper now and feel good about it

The camp is off the table for now. Shrink says I don't need that level of help and that maybe down the road I might want to participate in their group therapy so I can talk to other people my own age but that I don't need to be sent away.

My mom is being nicer already and hugging me and stuff. Not sure how my dad will react when he gets the lecture from mom. Mostly he has been ignoring me all week.