Told My Mom! Not Good!

[Pipsqueak]

Excellent, Still! That took a lot of guts and you should feel proud of yourself.

[Guest Guest]

your story sounds like a load of crap. everybody is out to get you and you can't defend your self.

[Morv]

your story sounds like a load of crap. everybody is out to get you and you can't defend your self.

Who-ha-who! That's insightful, helpful, and sensitive...

[Pipsqueak]

your story sounds like a load of crap. everybody is out to get you and you can't defend your self

People feel free to say that sort of thing when they're hiding behind the anonymity of "guest".

[LightFolf]

It sounds like things are moving along for you. Sometimes, often perhaps, getting through stuff can be a two steps forward, one step back thing...just when you think something is ok, something happens that brings it crashing down again...but it won't be as bad.

I hope you can feel good about telling off that guy who has caused you so much trouble. The other day I told off a guy who's been on my case for a while, trying to get me to do stuff. When I accused him of manipulating me and he admitted to it, claiming that it was in my best interest, that was enough for me to hit block...should've done it months ago, but I didn't. I have no idea why.

Standing up to people is hard, especially when you're feeling depressed. That's my experience, anyway. A lot of things take more effort, especially asserting yourself when sometimes you're not so sure of yourself. It happens to me pretty often.

Try to listen carefully to yourself. Sometimes it can feel like everyone is against you (although that's not the impression I've gotten), and it's just something to talk out. I frequently have doubts about people liking me, but I try to talk with people about it, especially my shrink, and when I'm not keeping things down (like I am now) I can start to get somewhere with it. I think having more of your privacy back will help you to feel more independent and sure of yourself, tho.

Anyway, I'm rambling at this point, and can't keep track of what I've said or what I'm going to because I'm really tired...anyway, you'll make it through this. Just take your time and do what feels right for you.

And don't let anybody tell you what to do

[Guest Guest]

Told my parents I want my privacy back. I'll go to church and therapy and whatever else but I don't want everyone knowing my business and talking about me. When I mentioned the church incident mom said I would have to be the one to tell the pastor not to talk about me, so I called him and told him. Don't think mom expected me to actually do it. I was polite about it. Just told him that church is supposed to be a safe place and I don't need to hear my troubles repeated and just don't want to have to think about that kind of stuff 24/7.

Told the church shrink that whatever I say to her has to be private or I'll just sit there silently for an hour a day. We agreed she would only talk about things if I gave permission to share some stuff. She seemed to take it as a good thing that I was standing up for myself.

Good man, definatley a step in the right direction

[StillNeedCntrl]

your story sounds like a load of crap. everybody is out to get you and you can't defend your self

If I tell you to kiss my pampered butt does that count as defending myself

I hope you can feel good about telling off that guy who has caused you so much trouble. The other day I told off a guy who's been on my case for a while, trying to get me to do stuff. When I accused him of manipulating me and he admitted to it, claiming that it was in my best interest, that was enough for me to hit block...should've done it months ago, but I didn't. I have no idea why.

It did feel good and I am glad it's over (I hope) I haven't heard from him sense then and it's not too hard to make a new AOL name to get around a block so I am hoping he is gone for good. Maybe he really thought I was just playing the submissive guy and I scared the crap out of him when I told him off.

Met my new shrink today. He seems okay. He did give me some medicine to help me sleep but only a weeks worth and only on the condition that my parents control them so I can't try and take them all at once. Not that I would but usually he doesn't give medicine right away so he insisted on that rule until he gets a better idea of what kind of shape I am in.

Mainly just talked about the basic stuff about me but he did say that he's not there to tell me what to do or how to live. Just to help me help myself.

Got to go to bed meds are kicking in!

[StillNeedCntrl]

I feel much better today! Slept all night and most of the morning. Only thing is I wet the bed cuz i slept so good I didn't wake up. That's okay though I'll just wear my diapers to bed till I get used to the meds.

Haven't heard from that creep still so I think that's over.

Shrink#1 noticed I was rested and alaert today so she is not nagging me as much. Today we talked about masturbation and agreed that it's okay as long as it's done to feel good and control urges (mastubation instead of sex) and not done to pornography or dirty thoughts.

[Guest Guest]

Shrink#1 noticed I was rested and alaert today so she is not nagging me as much. Today we talked about masturbation and agreed that it's okay as long as it's done to feel good and control urges (mastubation instead of sex) and not done to pornography or dirty thoughts.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What's a dirty thought?

I mean, i don't think you CAN masturbate without some degree of fantasy....

[dldad]

Sounds as though you are coming into being yourself. Something I'll relate to being an adult. Good for you. Hopefully that other guy will leave you alone. But one thing to consider, if he can do what he did to you, what's to stop him from accosting someone else? Having guts to standup for what you believe can take a lot out of an individual. Kudos anyway.

[StillNeedCntrl]

What's a dirty thought?

I mean, i don't think you CAN masturbate without some degree of fantasy....

I think it's more the intent when you decide to do it than where your brain goes while you're doing it. When I do it I am doing it cuz it feels good and cuz guys just need to release the pressure sometimes. If you do it cuz you saw a hot girl on tv and you're jerking it to her, that would be a dirty thought.

[Pipsqueak]

^^ I may be a woman and have a slightly different arousal mechanism than a guy, but I really don't see much difference between masturbating and letting your mind wander into fantasy, than seeing a hot girl on TV which makes you WANT to masturbate. The end result is the same. You are seeking pleasure and release. It's not dirty, it's just human. If you see the girl and masturbate as a result of that, or you decide to masturbate and conjure up the image of that girl in your head in order to become aroused, how is one scenario really any different from the other? My guess is your church therapist is toeing the church line about sex and sin. It's not sinful for you to become aroused by a pretty girl. It just means you're a guy and your parts are all working according to plan. Inflicting unwanted attention on that girl is something else entirely. But as long as it's all in your head (er, so to speak ) then there's nothing wrong with it.

Talk to your #2 shrink about it. I think he'll give you a little more balanced opinion on the subject.

[StillNeedCntrl]

It's not really a thing for shrink#2 as it is a religion and personal belief thing.

There is a difference for some guys. Like, a lot of guys masturbate in the shower because it is a good time/place to do it... it's about feeling good and getting the urge out of the way for the day, not about porn or sex. I can masturbate JUST because it feels good without having to think dirty thoughts.

It's sort of a self-control thing. There's a BIG difference between releaving stress and urges when it is convienent/safe to do so, and having to whip it out on the spot when you see something that turns you on.

Either way is normal and okay, but for Christians the first way is better than not having that self-control and letting unpure thoughts control your actions. Not everyone thinks that way and I'm not saying everyone should, but that is what works for me and my beliefs.

[StillNeedCntrl]

Feeling a whole lot better now! Been sleeping good with my medication. It does seem to make me wet the bed though, so I have been wearing a diaper to bed and after therapy today mom and I went over to our mini-storage place and got my old rubber mattress cover out of storage and back on my bed just in case.

Actually been wearing diapers most of the time this week. Just like wearing them when I feel okay. They make me even more okay

Therapy with shrink#1 has been going good. I think we are past of the big stuff now and should drop to once a week before long. We talked about me wearing diapers again because I was worried that would be seen as a problem once all the other stuff was out of the way. She assured me that no one cares what kind of underwear I wear. Main goals shrink#1 has for me is to get more active with the young adults group at church and hang out with people my own age that I can trust.

See shrink#2 again on Monday.

[Guest Guest_MakesHisOwn_*]

Dear StillNeedsCntrl:

Hi, this is Mike (aka, MakesHisOwn). I am concerned with some of the advice that you have been given, both by those directly in your life and those on hte board. I have no advice, but will share the thoughts that come to mind. Yes, as some have said, you are 18, but you do still neeed a place to live and I do not know how able you are to move out on your own. I was not able to do so until 34 due to a brain injury. I also do not wish anyone to lose a connection with family. This may very well be a time when you and those with you can come to relate more as equals than parent/child. For the camp, I don't know anything about it so will withhold comment. But from a personal sidebar, it has taken much of my now fourty years to be able to come to peace with myself following the brain injury at age nine. I do not equate the two states of brain injury and ABDL as being related, just that they each have to do with coming to terms with who is and learning to move forward.

I wish you all the best in your journey, your friend, Mike.

[Guest Dill Pickle]

(snip)

Actually been wearing diapers most of the time this week. Just like wearing them when I feel okay. They make me even more okay

(snip)

She assured me that no one cares what kind of underwear I wear. Main goals shrink#1 has for me is to get more active with the young adults group at church and hang out with people my own age that I can trust.

See shrink#2 again on Monday.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good to hear you are doing better and dumped your "lover". I also find just wearing makes me feel better.

As for hanging out with the young adults group, that qualifies for social time. But that word "trust" bothers me, since its just made up of ordinary people, not all of whom are going to be trustworthy, especially when it comes to "dirty thoughts". I am also going to suggest that you decide to hold off on pairing up with someone there...

(interrupted, I'll say more in a few days)

[Guest Guest]

As for hanging out with the young adults group, that qualifies for social time.

[Morv]

1) Don't assume you can trust someone just because they are in your church. The same goes for general religion, sex (opposite or same), sexual alignment (opposite or same), nationality, state of origin, or pretty much any other criteria. Trust is something that should only ever occur as a result of interaction. The same goes for respect.

2) Masturbation is always the result of a sexual urge. Deal with it. Whether you want to bust a nut because you haven't in a while and as a result you think of a girl, or you see a hot chick and think you want to bust a nut because of it, or whether you meet some broad on the street and you happen to be suave (i.e. pimp) enough to bring her to your place and get her to suck you off -- sorry man, it all amounts to the same basic principle -- you+sex. Deal with it. (To anyone who may have been offended by my previous statement, be glad I didn't refer to the terms "bitch/ho." For those that were offended by that, grow some new culture -- sorry.) Sex and sexuality is a fundamental part of humanity -- many religions try and pervert/subvert that urge. As much as the average male would like to fit societiy's monogomous mold, it won't always happen. Deal and learn. I think I understand some of the complaints about the homosexuality stories now... it doesn't matter. Please just realize that your church counselor has a pre-set, non-humanic agenda regarding sexuality. If she tells you you shouldn't want to screw animals, listen to her. If it seems less offensive than animals, then listen to her. (Fair warning, you're only 18, as you said -- you might find a 17 or maybe even a 16 year old attractive. In most states this urge could lead to trouble. (There are several states where age of consent is less than 18, do note this.) Bottom line: your church counselor is a representative of your church's views, not the reality of humanity. Churches were created by man. Belief was inspired beyond. Do not confuse the two.) And yes, masturbation is a subject you should bring up with your second shrink, most certainly. And as to your first, church-based shrink, this person will most certainly believe (not just assume) that his/her belifes are what is best for you. Like Bob Dylan said, "Through many a dark hour I've been thinkin' bout this/That Jesus Christ was betrayed by a kiss/but I can't think for you/you'll have to decide/whether Judas Iscariot had God on his side."

There is a VERY, VERY large amount of the Bible that corresponds with reality -- and there's a very large amount of what people call religion that has nothing to do with the Bible or human nature. Do not covet thy neighbor's wife was to drive out interpresonal conflicts in small comunities. That doesn't mean don't look at porn or fantasize about some big breasted woman you saw on the tube. I mean, seriously, read the Bible. Jesus himself hung out with hookers.

[Guest Dill Pickle]

Am thinking about what Morv said about "dirty" sex. Fact is, for most guys, a hot babe comes into sight and they take notice. I think their private parts stand up and take notice, too, but since my turn-ons are a little on the non-standard side, I need different things: A smile does more for me than a pair of naked breasts.

As for what I'd call dirty: it's what was done to you, pushing you beyond your boundaries. At your age, going through half a dozen GFs per year is normal, but probably undesireable. You don't really want to go through many, though, as large numbers of GFs is how AIDS and other nasty diseases get spread.

********************************

Thinking more about the "making good decisions" you kept quoting from your church. I'd like to point out that through this mistake with your abusive lover, you have a tremendous learning opportunity. Study what happened, and what you missed in terms of danger signs, and you WILL be more aware and make better choices in the future. From my own experience, though, you also need to be aware that this kind of experience has a tendency to set up rather strong emotional reactions to similar situations, and that reaction may interfere with your future love life. I was extremely upset the first time I woke up to find my naked GF walking into the bedroom just out of her shower. It was too much like my naked abusive ex walking in the room to wake me up when I was sleep deprived. I've gotten over that only through practice.

[Morv]

Couple of quick things...

Is there a term you'd like us to use for the man you had this encounter with? For some reason the usage of the term "lover" even with the adjective "abusive" seems to be off target and misleading. Please tell us how you'd like us to refer to this.

Church and religion are good -- but evaluate everything in them like you evaluate what people here say. Not everyone sees things the same way, and not all the advice will truly help you. Religion/church can sometimes be wrong. You have to decide on your own -- and just because you agree with most of it doesn't mean you can't disagree with parts of it. Religions are made by man, and are by nature imperfect.

[Guest BJ]

I think he is in the US. Which means no council to support him. So how did you get a council flat at 18?

You usually need a family or at least a child to get on the list?

Just interested.

BJ

I say definatly move out.

Wonder if yhe can get a council flat, like I got.Which is free cos da council pays for it.

Me moved out wen i woz 16 cos me parents found out i luved nappies, went really mad and worse.

[StillNeedCntrl]

Is there a term you'd like us to use for the man you had this encounter with? For some reason the usage of the term "lover" even with the adjective "abusive" seems to be off target and misleading. Please tell us how you'd like us to refer to this.

Not allowed to use the words I call him by on here, so let's go with prick!

Sorry I haven't posted in a bit. I had a very bad night last night and ended up making myself sick again. So tired of that! I had a long nightmare that the no matter where I ran the prick was around the next corner waiting for me. Guess that's one to tell both shrinks about! The sleeping pill seemed to make it worse because I couldn't wake up right away so it had me pretty upset by the time I did wake up.

I told my mom and dad that I'm not going to church in the morning. They weren't all that pleased to hear it but I need to try and sleep in and relax some. And be nice to have some time alone for a change. Gets old having people watching you all the time like you're about to crack. Its enough to make me crack!

I'm going to go to the young adults group this week. It's my hope to meet people who can recommend stuff other than church to do, not just do the church stuff. I need to get out more but have lost contact with most of my friends as they are mostly in school already.

I've kinda had something on my mind and tho this probably isn't the place I have to say it to someone and not someone wearing a WWJD wristband if you know what I mean:

I want to have sex. SOON! It's driving me crazy that my only experience with sex is being pushed down and raped. I feel like I need to know what normal happy sex feels like before I loose the nerve to ever try it. Thinking about what the prick did to me just hurts me so bad I want to have something to balance it out with.

Anyway that's my screwed up thought for today

[Morv]

Hardly screwed up. Fair warning -- she probably won't find it as good as you the first time. Not to turn this into a sex advise session, but just make sure to pay attention to your partner's wishes. And take it slow. Trust me, it will be more worth it. All the masturbating you do has the great advantage of getting you off by someone who knows exactly what you want -- you. That goes both ways. Pay attention, and remain sensitive. And there's nothing wrong with practicing on your own to get good at it.

It may sound like the same BS that you hear from your church-buddies, but it actually is better to have a sex with someone you care about. Now, that doesn't mean that bustin' a nut here and there isn't a good time -- but don't confuse getting off with falling in love. I know your psych could tell you this, but your desire to have a positive sexual relationship has everything to do with your negative experience, and potentially fears of yourself being homosexual. Chill. Get yourself a Penthouse or a Playboy and in the meantime try and establish a relationship with a girl -- or hell, you're on the internet, it isn't like you can't find porn.

The bottom lines -- respect the women, and respect yourself. And make sure you do what feels good. Just, for god sakes be careful. And when it comes around to it -- have a good time. (Oh, yeah, remember, chicks usually dig the foreplay. You're chances of getting laid again are directly proportional to how much you make sure she enjoys the experience.) (Also, in my somewhat pathetic experience, women tend to dig a guy with self confidence, a sense of humor, a car worth more than their house, and enough money to buy a full-scale model of the Titanic made out of pure platinum -- think med-school for college. Oh, and something in their pants the size of a full scale replica of the Titanic. j/k)

As for a term for this prick, do these forums actually censor terms like fuck wad? Or tightie-whitie sniffing shit-sack-barf-bag? If not, then that sounds like a great term for him. Be creative. No reason not to express yourself. I mean, other than a few anonymous cowards and other assorted zipper necked bug fuckers, I think we can handle you venting. After all, we understand it isn't us that you had a bad experience with. And if those terms are all censored by these forums and come out looking like some sort of gibberish you see when you view a Chinese page and don't have the Chinese Language Pack installed... well, get a chuckle from that.

Anyway, beyond that... mention to your shrink that having someone watching you constantly is making things worse. It always sucks when you tell someone not to worry because it is for the best, and they just worry more and make it worse. (If you don't like the term shrink, sorry, but you seem like you're not overly offended by language usage.) Anyway, maybe even ask your shrink for some advice on this point.

Hey, keep pushin on man. Keep pushin' on.

[baby-dandan]

Hi Gang!,

I too told my mom about my diaper fetish and things went pretty good at first,and she even bought me a package of depends. This all happened when I was 16. It got worse later on, a month or so past and she made me agree to see a child phsycologist that told my mom that buying that me diapers was a bad idea because he said it would only incourage me, needless to say that failed to take my desires away, after all it was her idea to make me quit NOT MINE. Years past with many failed therapy sessions and after I turned 18 I insisted on having my own place. I am now 23 and she is still hounding me to quit, but I've told her she and my dad are just going to have to accept me the way I am. I love being in diapers and I wouldn't have it any other way! Hang in there and good luck!

baby-dandan

[Guest Dill Pickle]

Morv,

Right on about masturbation. Rosy Palm and her five sisters, thumb, pinky, etc, meet me in the shower with lots of soap suds and the wall a couple of times a week. And I sleep with the GF.

Dandan, if you will look back, you will find that your "child psychologist" is out of sync with the rest of shrinkdom. Read the rest of this thread to find out.

Dill Pickle

Hi Gang!,