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  1. 6th grade to pre k

    This is my first time doing a role play so please bare with me. Only join this role play if you intend to do more than one word responses, whole sentences replies only. I hate to see one basic sentence or one work replies, they drive me nuts. This will be a story of Gabby, a freshly turned 11 year old who is excited to start 6th grade in a week and be in middle school. Shes excited to go training bra shopping, and for her Mom to start treating her more like an adult but life has other plans for little Gabby. I'll play Gabby I need someone to play her Mom.
  2. This story was made for Kami-bozu who asked me to make a story based on his pictures. https://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?/gallery/album/3249-diaper-boy-pics/ Each chapter will be based on one of his pictures. I wish to thank him for giving me this neat opportunity. ^.^ “Mom!” I yelled at loud as I could. “I don't want to do that!” “Andy it's either this or you go back to regular school.” my mom told me. “That was part of the deal.” About a year ago a man came up to my mom and me and asked if I would model their companies new clothing line. Their child model got sick and missed the shoot. Desperate to finish the shoot, the photographer ran up to the first random boy with a parent that he could see and begged us to help him. After a bit of a discussion, my mom allowed it and I modeled the latest kids outfits. After we were done, the photographer offered me a job! Mom told me no at first. Saying I still had school and stuff. But after a bit of a discussion about it, she decided to allow it. I would be placed into homeschool and be allowed to model. But there was an exception. If I didn't model for over 4 months, I will have to go back to school. At first, it was great! People really liked the way I looked and wanted to hire me. But after 8 months, people stopped calling. I didn't really have an agent, besides my mom, and she didn't really know much about the job. Now I was coming up to 3 ½ months without a job and I really didn't want to go back to regular school. So when mom found a job for me I was excited, at first. Then I saw what I would be modeling. “But mom! There diapers! I don't wear diapers!” I protested. “They are Pampers plus size.” my mom told me. “You just have to model them, you don't actually need to use them.” “But it's still embarrassing!” I told her. “Well it's either this or you go back to school.” mom told me sternly. “You wanted to model and sadly there's nothing else at the moment.” Mom was right, it was the diapers or school. I had to decide. ______________ Mom and I were in the dressing room getting ready. “I still can't believe I'm doing this,” I mumble as I fumble to tape the diaper on while on a changing table. “You decided this, too late to back out now.” mom told me from behind a curtain. “Hey mom, these don't feel right.” I tell her as she opened the curtain to check on me. She immediately started laughing. I blushed a deep shade of red. “MOM IT'S NOT FUNNY!” I screamed. “No, no, no,” mom said through her laughter. “I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing because you put it on backwards.” “Ow…” I mumbled before mom pushed me down and untaped the diaper. “Mom what are you doing!” I yelled “Don't worry sweetie. I've changed you more times than you can count. I'll be real quick.” mom told me. And she was right, Mom quickly slid the diaper from under me and flipped it around. she easily lifted up my butt and sat me down on the soft padding of the diaper. She then folded the top part over my crotch and re-taped the diaper back onto me. Luckily, right on time as someone opened the door and looked inside. “Aww how cute! Having mommy put you in a fresh diaper!” the lady assistant said. My face was blushing bright red and I nearly yelled at her but my mom spoke first. “Andy’s almost ready. Well be there in just a second.” my mom told the lady. With that, the lady left and mom helped me up. The diaper felt odd. Like I was sitting on a pillow despite standing up. It felt so strange with the padding around my crotch and butt. I turned to a full body mirror and got a good look at the front of the diapers. They were mostly white, except for a blue lining around the diapers with 5 cartoon dinosaurs on the landing zone for the tapes. “Come on Andy, we don't want them to be waiting for us.” mom said as she took my hand and led me out into the main set. There were already taken pictures of a few other kids and asked me to wait just a moment. There were kids of all ages, from 3 to 17 and all were wearing diapers! I'm 10 and I'm modeling the diapers meant for kids 10-14. “Excuse me miss, but could my son get something to drink?” my mom asked “Yes, just one moment.” the assistant lady told my mom. Within a few minutes, another lady walked up to us. “Did you just ask for a drink?” the assistant asked. “Yes we did.” mom replied to her and the assistant handed my mom a sippy cup. “I guess they were out of regular cups.” mom told me as she handed me the cup. I wasn't about to start drinking from the sippy part, so I unscrewed it and began drinking the juice inside. The juice was very sweet and had a slightly strange aftertaste. But it was still good. “Andy, you're up!” the photographer yelled. I quickly downed the rest of the juice before I ran up to the stage. Over the next few minutes, the photographer had me in all types of poses. Most of them showing off the diaper. “Ok, now let's get the one for the package.” the photographer said as a lady about my mom’s age walked onto the stage. “Ok Andy, I want you to look like your happy to be in a new clean diaper.” That was easier said than done. I really just wanted to be out of the diapers as fast as possible, But I did the best I could and put on a happy smile and tried to look as cute as possible as the lady grabbed the back of my diaper and pretended to be pulling it onto me. “Perfect!” the photographer yelled as he started snapping pictures. Right behind him, however, I noticed my mom talking to the same assistant mom asked for the drink earlier. In her hand, she had a paper cup and both the assistant and my mom had a look of terror on their faces as they turned to look at me. There was a flash as the picture was taken, and I let out a big fart! My eyes went wide as my stomach suddenly felt like it was doing somersaults and I wrapped my arms around it. What the hell was happening! Then it happened. Without warning. My eyes went wide as I felt the backside of my diaper suddenly explode outward as I began filling with poop! “GROSS!” the lady holding my diaper screamed as she jumped back. The sudden movement made me jump as well and I lost balance! Falling backward, I landed on my butt and I felt my poop go everywhere! For a second, my mind could not process what just happened. Everyone was now staring at the 10-year-old boy in a black t-shirt sitting in a full diaper. When that realization finally hit me, I began to bawl! Mom immediately rushed over to me and hugged me, trying her best to get me to stop crying before she lifted me up and had me walk back to the dressing room. Later we would learn that it was all just a big misunderstanding. The sippy cup was meant for a different kid who was going to show off how much the diaper can hold. The assistant was only told to deliver the cup to the parent that ordered the drink. She didn't know it wasn't meant for me. But in that moment, I didn't care. I was crying so hard as my messy diaper was seen by everyone as I walked back to the dressing room. I was first laid down onto the changing table as before and my mom rubbed my face trying to calm me down. Next, she untapped the tabs on both sides of the diaper and flinched when she say just how bad the mess really was. Using the front of the diaper, mom did her best to wipe off most of the mess with just that. Next my mom got out the wet wipes and began cleaning every part of me. She wiped my legs, my but, and even my crack! I was so ashamed and still crying that I didn't care that my mom was now wiping my butt clean! “Ok sweety, i need you to lift yourself up for a moment.” mom told me. Doing as she asked i lifted my butt off the dirty diaper and mom finished cleaning under me and pulled the diaper out from under me. She quickly balled it up and tossed it into the trash before coming back over to me. I was about to get up when my mom pushed me back down and pulled out another diaper. “M-M-MOM! I-I-I don't want a-a-a new diaper!” I bawled. “I'm sorry sweetie, but this is just in case.” mom told me as I cried even harder. Mom lifted me back up and sat me back down onto the new diaper. She then got out a bottle of baby powder and pored some onto my croch. “This is just so you don't get a rash.” mom told me as she taped the diaper. Still crying about the diaper, my mom lifted me up and hugged me as she tried to calm me down. This was the worst day in my life! Also, I was now the face of Pampers plus size diapers!
  3. Computer Nerd 1-7

    Computer Nerd Simon sat at his computer naked apart from his special thick diaper and clicked on the download button. As he waited his right hand automatically rubbed his cock through the soft padded material as he absentmindedly clicked the mouse over his email and began to read what had come in overnight. Thankfully, the usual load of spam offering pills and potions to make his cock bigger had already been siphoned off to the recycle bin and he was left with only real messages. Simon loved the way his bum, surrounded by the fluffy cushioning, wriggled in the seat. He may be friendless and alone but this, this unbelievable feeling had become his second most favourite thing in the world… after… well… that came once he’d worked himself up enjoying the silky softness and glossy pleasure his diaper gave. This certainly made up for the lack of any human connection in his life. He certainly didn’t need the offered cock enhancing pills… he was doing OK without them. Deleting almost mechanically he soon got through most of the garbage that made up his daily inbox and finally he was down to the last one. He had no idea who it was from but the opening line caught his interest; ‘You are invited to…’ No, not the usual invitation to help some Nigerian general launder several million dollar’s worth of unregulated income, or the offer to collect a share in a lottery that you didn’t even know you’d entered… no… it was an invite to take part in… an online orgy. Simon scratched his head wondering how-the-hell you can have an orgy via the internet. However, he was intrigued and clicked on the reply box. * There was an instant automated answer which read that his interest was noted, the organisers would be in touch and that he should make ‘preparations’ for something ‘quite extraordinary'. Also, a ‘Do not reply to this email’ note ran along the bottom of the screen with a timer counting down. He glanced at it and saw that in 2 days, 14 hours, 22 minutes and 21, 20, 19… seconds, something was going to happen. He didn’t know why but he suddenly realised he’d been rubbing his crotch quite vigorously since he opened the message. Despite the thick cushioning his cock was hard and leaking into the soft fabric. He was feeling pretty hot and stimulated… a shiver ran through his body as he suddenly realised. “Christ,” his body shook, “if this is how the message affects me…” He left the rest of this notion in his head as he sat back in his leather computer chair, eased down his diaper and took a firm hold of his warm slick dick. **tbc**
  4. Pledge Diapers 1-2

    Just a very short trip into my imagination. Pledge Diapers Part 1 The light was at red and said “DON’T WALK” and I waited patiently for the traffic to move away and the white “WALK” sign to appear to help get me across the road. As I hovered at the curbside on a fairly bright Saturday morning here in Los Angeles I noticed a plastic carrier bag in the middle of the crossing where I was about to walk. I could tell there was something in it as the handles fluttered around in the light morning breeze but the main part of the bag was weighted to the ground. “WALK” appeared and my curiosity grew as I ventured on my way. Bending slightly as I passed the package I caught hold of the flapping handles and, in one deft movement, scooped up the discarded piece of rubbish and carried it safely to the opposite kerb as if I was a garbage conscious member of the public. Once there I waited a few moments near to a trash can but pretended to be absorbed in something in a shop window acting as if distracted from depositing the bag in the bin. I also wanted to see if anyone would come up and claim the contents before I got rid of them. A few moments passed before I looked to see what the bag contained and was surprised to see a folded, but worn terry diaper. Although it was a particularly icky thing to find I noticed that it was rather large and far too big for a little baby. As I have more than a passing interest in all things ABDL, this to me was like finding a $50 bill; I couldn’t have been more excited at my discovery and good fortune. I looked around to see if anyone was watching but as usual, everyone just went about his or her business with little interest or regard for anyone else. I plunged my hand in the bag to see if there were any more items or perhaps an indication of whom the owner might be but my hand only met with the soft white fabric, which was damp and sticky to the touch. I was in ecstasy. A freshly used and abused diaper… mmmm… I just couldn’t wait to get them home. As I stood and fumbled with my soft but sticky prize I let my mind wander as to the possible owner. As I pulled it clear of the plastic bag… WHAM… like an electric bolt my head was suddenly assaulted with strong visions and eventually a clear picture formed in my minds eye. Instinctively, or perhaps via some form of cosmic energy, as my fingers fondled the cheap and messy fabric, the history of the diaper began to evolve to me. It was as if I was there, watching and making mental notes of the action. **tbc**
  5. Tommy’s Tantrums 1-4

    Tommy’s Tantrums His tummy was gurgling, it sounded very loud in the quiet of his bedroom but he’d had very strict instructions from his mommy that he wasn’t to leave his bed… for any reason. # Tommy had been a very naughty eight year-old. The previous day he’d knocked over, and destroyed a crystal vase and beautiful bouquet of anniversary flowers his daddy had given to his mommy. He was riding his bike in the house and collided with the display table knocking the entire thing over. So dismayed was he at what he’d done he jumped off his bike too eagerly, caught his foot in the pedals and tumbled in a heap onto the broken glass and squashed the lovely flowers. The fact that he’d been riding in the house, which he knew wasn’t allowed, and had now cut himself as he fell, would, he thought, not bring his mommy to carefully tend his cuts, she’d be very angry indeed. She was. His mother admonished him for what he’d done and then dragged him apologising into the kitchen to get his wounds tended. Luckily, despite ruining the wonderful gift and vase, his mother still administered bandages to the small cuts (he was lucky there was nothing more serious) and, as mommies do, kissed the top of her son’s head before sending off to play quietly elsewhere. Meanwhile, his daddy had promised to take him to the park so he could kick his football around and perhaps meet up with some friends. However, he got so frustrated that his daddy was taking so long to get ready that he started kicking his ball around the garden, another no-no, and yes, it did result in yet more damage as he kicked it too hard and cracked the kitchen window. This action only left his parents, who were already at their wit’s end, wondering what to do with their troublesome son. Later, in a moment of temper, Tommy called his two year-old sister Jenny, a ‘poo-monster’ and a ‘smelly pooey, stinky baby’ and pushed her over so that she went ‘splat’ into her messy diaper. The fact that his mommy had witnessed this nasty act made the naughty boy pretend it had all been a joke. His mother would have none of it and sent him to his room as she tended to her sobbing, and messy, daughter. # “Right young man” He knew he was in serious trouble because of her tone. “The report from your teachers is not impressive, you’ve been bullying other children and your clever-clever, back-chatting insolence has won you no friends at school.” Tommy was about to speak and express his sorrow and apologies, he even adopted his most regretful expression (which usually worked) but his mother held up her hand and continued with her speech. “We’ve all simply had enough of your attitude, your tantrums and the bullying of your sister, and the destruction of the vase, is the last straw.” She then reeled off a list of other misdemeanours that he didn’t know she knew about. “You callously ignore what anyone says and in class you wilfully go out of your way to disrespect teachers and forego even the most basic courtesy.” Tommy gulped at the litany of other things his teacher had told his mother because there were lots of offenses he hoped his parents would never hear about. “So… for the rest of the weekend you will wear what you found so ‘funny’ for your sister to sit in… a diaper” “But, but, I, er,…” Tommy tried to interrupt. “Don’t interrupt me, you’ve been an unholy terror for the past few months and you’ve been getting worse. Your recklessness and insolence today has been the deciding factor … this has been a long time coming.” “But mommy, mommy…” Tears were starting to well in his eyes, this time she could tell that her threat had hit home and for once this was no fake reaction. “… I can’t wear a diaper I’m a, er, big boy, diapers are for babies.” “Yes they are aren’t they?” His mother agreed and raised her eyebrows as if emphasising the point. “And you have been behaving like one… wanting your own way, throwing tantrum after tantrum if you didn’t get it… so now you will be treated as one.” The floodgates opened and he bawled his refusal to allow it but his mother grabbed him and slapped his bottom. It wasn’t hard but with enough force to make sure he realised she was serious. “If you don’t do as I say you’ll be in them for school as well, so it’s your choice.” This threat was more than he could endure. The idea of wearing a diaper when none of his classmates did was something that had him sobbing, he knew he’d be ridiculed by the very kids he’d bullied. “It’s, it’s, it’s not fair,” he squealed, “why should I have to wear a diaper?” He was being both petulant and afraid of actually having to wear such an item. Meanwhile, as his mommy left the room, and while he lay sobbing on his bed, he hoped she’d relent like she always did and that he’d gotten away without any real punishment. He hadn’t. # It was six fifteen in the evening and his mommy was running a bath for him. She was completely exasperated with his behaviour and knew that desperate measures needed to be taken. She also hated the idea of disciplining her ‘little boy’ but knew that it was partly due to such an attitude by her that had resulted in the situation they now found themselves in. The destroyed flowers and broken window had finally made her react to the situation instead of hoping it would go away. However, she’d calmed down and, although he was being a bit grumpy, Tommy knew he had to behave. Even though it was early her eight year-old son meekly stripped when ordered into the bathroom and settled in the suds as his mommy gave him a thorough scrubbing. She let him play with his toy boats for a few minutes whilst she went to retrieve a nice warm towel from the airing cupboard. She was gone some time but returned holding his favourite thick, fluffy bath towel, which had the image of a huge squirrel. She wrapped it around and gave him a meticulous drying down before leading him back to his bedroom. He was in for a shock. Set out on the bed was one of his baby sister’s disposable diapers, a pair of pale blue plastic pants and an assortment of powders and lotions, there was also his stretchy, cowboy pyjamas. He looked at his mommy and again started to bawl, pleading with her not to make him wear a diaper. He was screaming, getting hysterical and it was only when his daddy came in that his anxiety subsided. However, any hoped for reprieve from his father was short lived as he told his son in no uncertain terms that any further outburst and he’d be permanently wearing a diaper for school and at all other times as well. “Do you understand?” Like his mother, his father was at the end of his tether wondering how to contain his son’s temper and recent unpleasant demeanour. Right on cue the tantrum kicked in and Tommy was having none of it; screaming, scratching and kicking, hoping above hope that his parents would relent and let him be… after all he was eight and not a baby. It wasn’t to be. # His father dragged his naked son over his knee and gave him a few firm swats. This set him off squealing even more but his protests and weeping were in vain as his father spanked him until he was sure the boy knew who was in charge. Once he’d been subdued his mother quickly powdered her sobbing son, taped him into the tight disposable and pulled up his plastic protection. She then pulled on his stretchy, soft cotton pyjamas, with the elastic cuffs around the wrists and ankles though there was no disguising the thick bulge underneath the cowboy pattern. A tear streaked Tommy looked more like a sobbing four year-old but his parents were being firm; bed now and no getting up playing with toys, reading or watching TV. His computer was confiscated as well as all his little electronic gadgets and once more told that under no circumstances, and they meant ANY circumstances, was he to leave his bed until morning. Tommy was beaten, mentally and physically, and rolled over onto his tummy and buried his tears into the pillow. He’d never been spanked before, in fact, he’d hardly ever been disciplined before and didn’t know what to make of it, except it hurt and he didn’t like it. The huge bulk between his legs emphasising that he was now nothing more than a little baby as far as his parents were concerned, and he could do nothing about it, unless he wanted his daddy to spank him again, which he didn’t. # He cried at the injustice of it all. His sister was younger than him but was still up and watching TV with his mommy and daddy, whilst he, a grown up eight year-old, had been put to bed in a diaper. His daddy had placed Pooh Bear next to him and he clung onto his favourite plushy thinking at least he wouldn’t turn against him. He was even thinking that his little sister had planned all this just to get him into trouble. It never occurred to him that it was his own actions that had made for such an outcome. He was still turning this over in his head when, exhausted by it all, he feel asleep. # Saturday morning and he woke up to find that his tummy was gurgling, it sounded very loud in the quiet of his bedroom but he’d had very specific instructions from his mommy that he wasn’t to leave his bed… for any reason. Despite the thick padding between his legs now feeling substantial it hadn’t stopped him sleeping heavily all through the night, however, he needed to go to the toilet. He wasn’t sure of the time but could hear no movement from any of the family and wondered if he dare make the few feet from his room to the bathroom. The pressure on his bladder made him desperate for a pee; in fact, the gurgling also meant that he needed to make it pretty soon or it would be too late. He lay there in pain trying desperately not to burst when thankfully he could hear the nearby toilet flush and he called out to his mommy that he needed to go. # His daddy came into the room and looked down at his son. “Are you going to be a good boy today?” Moving closer he bent down to face the boy. Tommy was scared, after all it was only last night that this man had spanked him and he could feel there was still a slight soreness to his bottom. “Huh uh.” Was the only response he dare make. As the pressure to pee grew more intense he wriggled uncomfortably under his sheets though for some reason was just too timid to say anything to his daddy. “Well that’s a good boy. Mommy will be making breakfast in a moment and then we’ve got a day at the park planned.” He ruffled his son’s hair. “You’re not grounded for today but you will do what we say or there will be consequences.” His father wasn’t sure if his young son knew what the word ‘consequences’ meant but because of the tone he delivered it in he hoped would make abundantly clear what would happen. Tommy dare not so much as utter a single word; he just looked wide-eyed up at his father and nodded. Once he’d received that understanding he pulled away the boy’s covers and looked to see if his pyjamas were still covering the bulging protection. “Are you wet?” Tommy shook his head but his father didn’t quite believe him so gently pulled at the waistband and slipped his hands down the front of the plastic pants to check. “OK slugger. Well done but, as mommy told you last night, you’ll be wearing these the entire weekend and, because you thought it funny to tease your sister, the toilet is off limits for you.” There was a look of disbelief from Tommy as his daddy emphasised that the diaper was there to be used. # At the thought of him having to use his diaper tears once again began to form and a look of complete dejection filled his face. His daddy almost relented but his wife and he had both decided that drastic action was needed to stop Tommy from getting completely out of control. “But daddy,” he snivelled finding his voice “I’m not a baby. I’m, I’m not Jenny.” “OK son, I know this is difficult but, you have been very, very naughty and when you are you get punished. You’ve been very cruel to your sister and you’ve been doing things when expressly told not to, so now…” “But I’m not a baby, it’s so unfair… I’m, I’m….” he snivelled. “Sorry son but you’ve broken the rules and you need to be disciplined so, for this weekend at least, you are going to be treated like Jenny. She’s too young to understand right from wrong and it would appear so are you. So, for the time being its diapers for you.” Tommy was completely distraught and flung his arms around his daddy. “Please daddy, don’t make me wear… oh… er, I need to go now.” With that sudden movement Tommy felt a brief pain as his bladder reached bursting point and no longer had any control as he let go. Whilst crying in embarrassment, and clinging to his father in support at what was happening, a warm rush of pee swamped his diaper. His daddy patted his son’s padded bottom as the boy continued to weep and his bladder empty. Almost unbidden something else seemed to react to his loaded diaper which he couldn’t stop as his gurgling bowel decided it needed a way out. Even as his father stoked his bottom he could feel the disposable filling up and soon the odour was accompanying the action. # Tommy was still gripping his daddy, weeping like when he was a baby and had just packed his diaper, so his father hugged him tightly until the tears had begun to dry up and he’d calmed down. “Sorry daddy,” he whispered, almost too embarrassed to admit to what had happened. “That’s OK son,” He patted the mushy mess in his full diaper, “let’s go and get breakfast.” “But daddy, I’ve, er, I’ve…” “Yes I know but yesterday you found it funny to shove Jenny over and make her sit in her own messy diaper didn’t you?” The enormity of his crimes where now just about dawning on him. Yes, he had found it funny to make his sister sit in her mess and, with his parents being unaware he’d done it several times before. Also, he knew he shouldn’t have been riding his bike in the house as he’d been warned on many occasions it wasn’t safe to do so, and he’d ruined a special present... and… He began to fill up as his daddy gently led him by the hand from his bed and down to the kitchen. The messy mass in his diaper made it uncomfortable to walk properly. He didn’t want his mommy or Jenny to see him like this and hoped his PJs would hide his accident. He hadn’t noticed how much more obvious his diaper was now it had expanded with the liquid he’d deposited in it. Still led by his father he nervously waddled to the table and reluctantly sat down in his squishy mess. Jenny, being encouraged by mommy, was trying to feed herself and at the same time both caught a whiff of Tommy’s full diaper. “Tommeee done poo-poo.” Jenny said giggling between mouthfuls but carried on eating as if it was quite normal. His mother took pity on him. “Don’t worry sweetheart, we’ll get you all cleaned up after breakfast when we see to Jenny.” #tbc#
  6. Training Yourself to Wet in Your Diaper I have noticed a recurring theme on this website about training yourself to wet in a diaper. I have read some of the strategies and some comments about the strategies which seem to suggest that they haven’t worked. I'd like to suggest a strategy that I believe will work. I'm not sure that it will work, but it replicates my experience in which I have become very nearly incontinent. I'm going to break this down into four sections. The first section contains the strategy that I propose. This is the how-to section. The second section contains my comments on why it should work or at least why I believe that my strategy will work and the drink-until-you-pee doesn’t work. This also contains my thoughts on why it’s so hard to develop the habit of wetting in a diaper in the first place. The third section contains some cautions. The fourth section is a bit of my personal history about becoming marginally incontinent, how it happened and where I am now. I suppose it’s sort of proof of concept, if I can use that term. The reason that I’ve divided this into four sections is so that you only have to read as much as you want to give this strategy try. So, for example, if you’re the impatient type and just want to give this a try, you really don't have to read further than the first section and you're on your way. If you're curious about why it's so hard to wet in a diaper, want a layman’s explanation, and want to have that in mind before you judge the strategy proposing, you can start at the second section. If you're worried about what might happen if you try the strategy and actually works (which is perfectly reasonable if not highly recommended), then you can start at the third section. Finally, if you’re a skeptic (which you should be) and need some explanation as to why this strategy might work, you can start at the fourth section. If you find that credible, then you can read on. Before you try what I’m proposing, please know that I’m not making any promises, nor am I making any claims about how quickly, or successfully you will learn to wet. If it does work, cool. If it doesn't work, please don't send me angry missives about bullsh*tting you, or criticize me—I’m just throwing this out there—for information only. Also, the risks are entirely your own. I’m not a doctor; I’m just another diaper lover who comes to this website to explore my love of diapers. This is for information only. I’m not recommending that you try this. The Strategy Obviously, you need to be diapered (but maybe not, I don’t judge) and feeling relaxed about wetting yourself if it happens. That means that you can’t be worried about your diaper leaking, or someone seeing and embarrassing you or being in any situation that gives you concern about wetting yourself. So, arrange your situation so that all you have to concern yourself with is naturally wetting yourself. You need to have a ‘full’ bladder or be in a circumstance where you are feeling the urge to pee. The objective is to be feeling the need to pee. You don’t have to be desperately struggling to hold your urine but you at least need sufficient urge to pee if you relax your bladder sphincter. Again, not a doctor, so if I get the anatomy a bit wrong, allow me some license. When you feel the urge to pee, find the position—whether you have to stand or sit or lie down—in which it is easiest for you to be relaxed to pee. When you feel the need to pee, even if it is only slight, relax and let your bladder start to void (that’s medicalese for let yourself pee)(or maybe it isn’t, what do I know). Now, here is the counter-intuitive step that I think will make all the difference. As soon as you start wetting—stop yourself. Hold back your pee. Yes, that’s right. Only pee a small amount. There are two reasons. First, you don’t want to flood your diaper and risk an accident which—no matter how hard are you trying not to worry—is a natural fear that you’ve acquired through potty-trained not to happen. Second, and more importantly, if you fully relieve yourself, you’ve got to drink litres (that’s gallons for our American viewers) of liquid again, AND you’ve got to wait until you feel the need to pee again. What we’re after is a repetition of wettings and a constant feeling of having to pee. You’re diaper won’t be flooded and you won’t need to change yet. And, you’ve still got a full bladder and hopefully in a few minutes, the urge to pee will return. Drink just enough to ‘top up’ your bladder. Wait for the next urge to pee and repeat. Keep going until you need to change your diaper or until you start to worry about leaks or anything that might distract you. Why It Should Work Most of us pee infrequently during the day so a full bladder and feeling the urge to pee is infrequent and unusual. When we feel the urge to pee we usually respond automatically (Hmm, I need to pee!) and we go the toilet. The clench reaction is autonomous (you don’t have to think about it) and that’s the reflex you’re trying to break That’s potty-training. The idea here is to get you used to having a full bladder and feeling the urge to pee—all the time. You’re desensitizing yourself to the cue so that over time, you’re less and less likely to notice it because it isn’t unusual any more. That is why I suggest that you only void a small amount, so there is only a short time before the urge to pee returns. Having to pee becomes the steady state that you’re in. You are always holding your bladder—not dance around the room desperately needing to go—consciously trying NOT to pee. At some point—and this will happen if you keep yourself distracted from the urge of having to pee—you will inadvertently relax and you will pee. Spontaneously. The natural reaction will be to clench but you will already have peed a little. That is what you want to have happen over and over and over. There is something else that is happening when you do this. Your bladder has a resting shape and volume. The urge to pee comes from a distended (stretched) bladder. When you void, the muscles pull to return the bladder to its empty size and volume. Holding your urine stretches the bladder and overtime it becomes stretched or conditioned to accept being stretched. When you relax to void, your bladder will not fully empty. This is a medical condition and basically isn’t good. That’s why you’re told that you should go to the toilet as soon as the urge to pee is felt. With an empty bladder your bladder sphincter can relax and does so naturally. If when it does, there is still urine in your bladder, you’re likely to wet yourself. What you are doing is allowing your body’s natural functioning to work for you to let you wet yourself. You will always—I believe sense that you’re about to wet yourself. There just won’t be the natural reaction to immediately hold, nor will it be difficult to relax It then becomes a matter of of just allowing yourself to wet in your diaper. Also, because the feeling will come sooner, you’ll pee a smaller amount and be less likely over time to tense up. You’re probably going to have to do this for some period of time. From personal experience, though, it’s definitely not going take more than a few months—if that. Once you’ve become accustomed to wetting in your diaper you can stop. You’ll have conditioned yourself to accept wetting into a diaper, or heaven forbid, your panties or underpants. Again, this is all speculative. I’m not suggesting you try this, I’m just sayin’… Some Cautions Realize that by training yourself to wet in a diaper, you’re undoing nature’s—and your mother’s—work. You are desensitizing your body to its natural control over your bladder. Over time there is the possibility of overflow incontinence1 because you are intentionally keeping your bladder in a distended state. Your bladder will no longer be able to fully empty. In the extreme—and this is where my experience comes in—it will become very hard NOT to wet your diaper. My Personal History For three years back in 1996, I was a sales representative and travelled extensively—three weeks each month—by car. I would finish a day at the office and drive from Buffalo to different cities in the Northeast. Most trips would take 6 to 8 hours, less if I went fast and didn’t stop until I ABSOLUTELY HAD TO. So, I didn’t. This went on for months and months. Over time, and I seem to recall that it was much less than a year, I found that even with stops to pee I was always feeling the need to pee. Not much longer after that, I was feeling the need to pee before I’d gone a few minutes down the highway, then before I’d even left the parking lot. Finally, driving late one night, well between any rest stops, I realized that I was wetting myself. Cloth seats, too. Not a pretty sight. There’s much more to the story which I’ve recounted elsewhere and spoken to members here, but suffice to say, I bought some diapers the next day—quite on impulse and with no small amount of embarrassment—and began wearing diapers during my drives. Soon, I was wearing diapers as often as possible and soon graduated to letting myself poop in them as well. I did go to a doctor when wetting myself became alarming (on the rational practical side, not on the pleasure side). I was tested and found to have overflow incontinence. The doctor hearing my story as to how this had happened was fiercely annoyed and said: “Stop it. The MOMENT you feel the need to pee, find a rest stop and go. If this goes on, you’ll be incontinent.” I sort of considered that allowing myself to wet in my diapers would be just the thing. It wasn’t. If I don’t wear a diaper during the day, I usually wear a sanitary pad—not unusual for a woman. My sense of having to pee has been slipping in the last while; I have already started to wet before I realize that I am and can stop it. I am not fully incontinent, I do have bladder control—it’s just that my timing can be off. Similarly, if I wear diapers to bed, I am very relaxed and secure. During the night the urge to pee barely wakes me and frequently, knowing I am diapered, I will just relax and wet my diaper. It has been rather alarming recently to wake in the morning in a wet diaper with no recollection that I needed to pee during the night. Either I didn’t wake enough to remember and intentionally allowed myself to wet, or—and to some degree this is worrying—I have made myself a bedwetter. The implication of this is that I’m now very leery of sleeping without a diaper and terrified to sleep over anywhere without diapers and plastic panties. 1. Overflow incontinence is a steady or frequent dribble of urine because the bladder doesn't empty completely. [It can lead to incontinence.] Incontinence is more common in people as they get older. (viz. https://www.google.ca/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=benign+urinary+retention&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&gfe_rd=cr&dcr=0&ei=JfVfWoDhJKKdXvG7nOgN)
  7. Babysitting Day

    Babysitting Day Chapter 1, The Morning The morning came very early as my alarm woke me from my sleep. I pulled the blanket back just enough to roll over and reach for the clock to shut it off. As my eyes focused on the clock sure enough it was 6:30 AM. Who’s dumb idea was this anyhow for me to make extra money during the summer by babysitting? School just let out a week ago and I should be sleeping in like my friends are doing….but no…..I have to get up and walk to the Patterson’s house to babysit their daughter who is 2 years old now. I pulled the blanket the rest of the way off my body, and sat up in bed. I felt a sudden and strong urge to go pee from my bladder and I jumped up and ran to the toilet, pulled my pajamas and panties down, sat on the toilet and felt sweet relief. This is the third time I have peed since I went to bed at 11PM last night. I swear that is why I don’t get any sleep. I have the tiniest bladder in the world. I hate it because……….well let's just say at school they call me pee pee girl for a good reason. My teachers have learned the hard way when I raise my hand and say I need the restroom they better let me go. The school nurse actually keeps an extra pair of my pants and panties in a locker for me just incase. As I finished peeing, I wiped, and pulled my panties and pajamas backup. I flushed the toilet and went to the sink to wash my hands, then brush my teeth. I looked at my hair trying to decide if I should wash it or just leave it. I decided today would be a good day for a ponytail and forget it. So I grabbed my brush and brushed my hair out some and then put it in a ponytail. I went back into my room and took off my pajamas and dug through my closet for something to wear. I settled on black jeans and a tank black tank top. I grabbed a baseball cap, but it looked odd with my outfit so I put it back. I put some earrings in and a little makeup on my face and headed downstairs to find something to eat. I looked at the clock to make sure I had time to walk to the Patterson’s before 8 AM. I know with next year being my senior year in High School you would think I could drive myself there but I have not really taken much interest in driving. I got my Temps back when I was 16 and Dad took me out a few times, but I never took to it. My boyfriend I was dating then was 17 and he would just pick me up in his car. So now that we broke up I have to walk or ride my bike everywhere I go. But that is ok because it helps to keep me thin and it is good for me. I opened the refrigerator door, grabbed a couple hard boiled eggs and poured myself a small bowl of shredded wheat N’ Bran. put some cinnamon on it and a little Honey. Poured some no sugar added vanilla almond milk on it and headed to the living room to watch a little TV before I had to leave and ate by breakfast. After I finished I grabbed my backpack and put a jacket in it just incase it was too cold or I needed to make shade for the baby while we were out. Chapter 2, The Babysitting Job As I finished my cereal I could see it was 7:35. I had to get moving. I put my empty bowl in the sink filled with water as mom told me to do, turned off the TV, put my shoes on and out the door I went. The morning air was cool and damp but I would be walking kind of fast so I would warm myself up. They said it would be 80 F. today and that would be perfect for my outfit. The 20 or so minute walk to the Patterson’s is not bad in the morning as there is little traffic being a sunday. But midday it gets bad trying to cross the busy street. I think that traffic light they have there is the longest light in the world. Right now I can just cross on the red light because there is no cars. I finally arrived at the house, rang the doorbell and Mr. Patterson opened the door and let me in. Their daughter Samantha was still sleeping. Mrs. Patterson sat me down and said ok here is the deal. We are trying to potty train her now. Right now she is still in a diaper at night, but when she is up we put her in these training pants and run her to the potty every hour. Unless you are going to take her with you somewhere today, we would like you to keep at this for us. I said well I had wanted to go to the park and let her play in the sand box? Mrs. Patterson said, oh well that sounds good. Never mind then. Just make sure you bring a couple extra diapers, some wipes, and powder with you to change her at the park then. I nodded and said yep, I know the routine. They thanked me for coming over so early and said they would be back about 2PM. I waved buy to them and turned on the TV to wait for Samantha to wake up. Around 9 AM or so I see this movement out of the corner of my eye and Samantha was strolling half a sleep still into the living room. Her diaper was hanging off of her soaked in pee. I said good morning bright eyes! And she smiled and rubbed her eye and then waddled over to me to give me a hug. We Mommy she asked. I said mommy and Daddy went to the store and I am going to babysit you today. She said K. I said let's get your diaper changed ok? She nodded and crawled up on the couch to lay down. I quickly changed her diaper and that seemed to perk her up some. She looked at me and pointed to the kitchen. I guess that meant she was hungry. I went in and asked what she wanted? She said Bah Bah. I said ok….I got some cereal out and a banana and put them in the blender with some milk. Put it in her bottle, put the top and nipple on it and handed it to her. She went back in the living room to watch TV with me. I had to wait until it got warmer outside to bring the baby out. So I packed her diaper bag with a bottle, 2 diapers, wipes, powder, and a blanket. I set it by the door and then went and got the stroller for her as I was not going to walk a 2 year old to the park. She was done with her bottle and went to play in her room which was fine with me. I laid down on the couch and rested. By 10 AM it was warm out and I went to find her. She was laying on the floor with her doll and talking to it. It was so cute…….until……...the smell. I said Samantha, why didn’t you tell me you pooped in your diaper? She shrugged her shoulders and went on playing. I grabbed her and put her on the bed so I could change her again. She was quite wet too. After almost threw up from the smell, I had her cleaned up and in a fresh diaper. I then dressed her in a sundress and asked her if she wanted to go the park to play in the sand with other kids. She smiled and said go…...pork! I laughed and said yes we will go to the park! Chapter 3, The Park Once cleaned up we headed outside. I made sure I had the key to the house with me, and grabbed the diaper bag and the stroller. I put her in it, buckled her in and double checked the house door to make sure it was locked. As we headed on the 15 minute walk to the Park I remembered something I had forgotten. I had to pee! Oh well, another few blocks and we would be at the park and I could slip in real quick to use the bathroom. I continued along to the main road where we had to wait for what seemed like forever for the light to change. I was trying hard not to do the pee pee dance, but my bladder was really full. Damn small bladder. The light turned green for us and I pushed the stroller fast across the road. Now just 4 blocks to the Park. I had to focus hard on my bladder to keep from peeing myself. The pressure was getting so strong now with every step. One block from the Park and I had to stop and press my hand into my crotch as I felt pee escaping from my bladder and into my panties. I was behind the stroller with a top on it so people on the road could not see what I was doing but I was in trouble. What do I do? I thought for a moment, I am wearing black jeans. I wonder if I can let just a little pee out to get the pressure off. My pants would dry quickly in this hot sun anyhow. But what if I can’t stop the flow and I totally pee my pants. Oh I don’t know what to do. I decided against my idea of letting just a little out. The pressure seemed to subside a little after that squirt of pee escaped me and I continued on the walk to the park. At the park entrance a huge pressure hit me, It bent me over and as I reached for my crotch again a car pulled up and stopped and the guy rolled his window down. Shit, I can’t hold myself, and I can’t pee pee dance now. I looked him in the eye as I felt pee coming out of me into my pants. There was nothing I could do to stop it. I squeezed with all of my might trying not to be obvious as the guy asked me if I knew how to get back to the Baseball fields in the back. As he finished asking his question my muscles regained control and my peeing came to a stop. I felt it on the inside of my thighs and on my rear end. I knew this was no little squirt now. I had some damage and it was not small. I told the guy to stay right on the drive and it would lead him to the ball fields. He said thank you so much, and that is such a cute baby. I said thanks and waved by to him as he drove off. I pushed the stroller away from my body and looked down. Sure enough, My jeans were now wet half way down my inner thighs, and onto my bottom. But I did not have that overwhelming need to pee now and could take my time to the bathroom to finish peeing. I continued walking with the stroller close to me so people could not see my pants. We got to the sand box and there was a sunny place right near it where I stopped and unbuckled Samantha and told her to go play in the sand. She ran to the sandbox and jumped in. I stayed on the grass with the sun shining on my pants hoping it would dry them quickly. After a couple minutes I remembered I still had to pee. What do I do…..I looked at the out building and it was only like 500 feet away. I called Samantha and she looked at me and waved. I said Samantha come here! She said No I play. crap….I could not go get her as the other parents there and kids would see that I peed my pants. All I could do is hope the sun dried my pants fast enough before I lost it again. As time went on my pants and legs started to get really hot in the sun. I could still easily see the wet stain on my pant legs and crotch. I tried again to get Samantha to come to me. And again she said No I play sand! I said come here now!!! She said No I play sand! And walked to the other side of the sandbox. I figure once her diaper is wet she will come...but I won’t make it that long. Crap.. my legs were hurting now in the sun and I had to move to the shade to cool off. Which would not dry my jeans. My bladder pressure was getting higher and higher again. At least sitting down now it was not as bad as it was walking. I kept watching Samantha playing in the sand as my belly began to hurt again. I closed my legs tightly and looked around to see no one was watching me as I slipped my hand in my crotch to ease the pressure some by pushing on my pee hole. This was not going to work for long. I looked at my jeans and they were not drying at all. I could not just leave her there and run to the toilet but I had to go and go now. I started to get up and head for the stroller and look for an angle to get to the sandbox and grab her without anyone seeing my pants. Not going to work. Way too many people here now. I looked over at the bathroom and to my horror a city truck pulled up and two guys got out, put up out of order signs and taped off the area. They then yelled in both bathrooms to make sure they were empty as they had to do some maintenance to them. I stood there in total disbelief. This could not be happening. I sat back down on the ground beside the stroller watching amanda playing. I had my legs bent up in the air and my feet flat on the ground. I felt a strong urge hit me hard and some pee escaped into my panties again and ran down under my rear end. I could not do anything to stop it. People were all around me now. I couldn’t hold myself or anything. My muscles after a couple seconds got control of that squirt of pee, and it stopped. I looked down at my crotch and my pants in my crotch area was glistening with pee. I scooted on my bottom dragging the stroller back to the shade to get away from the sun. As I sat this time indian style with my legs slightly elevated over my shoes watching the maintenance guys another huge desperation squeeze of my bladder hit and I was powerless to stop the flow of urine in my pants. I looked down to watch me peeing in my pants and noticed that the pee was filling the crotch of my jeans and then soaking into the grass. It was not running down my legs or going too far under my bottom. I decided at that point to give up the fight as I had lost anyhow. I relaxed and sat there on the grass in front of loads of people and peed in my pants until my bladder was empty. The relief felt so good. I just sat there for some time letting my pants drain into the grass. After a while I grabbed my jacket out of my backpack and set it on the handle of the stroller to wrap around my waist for the walk home. I stood up and backed myself to the trunk of the tree behind me so I could stand and not have my wet bottom exposed. About this time Samantha comes waddling up to me. I said oh now you come to me. She said dip wet. I wet. I bent down on my knees and brushed the sand off of her pants, Pulled them down and sure enough her diaper was very wet. I laid the blanket on the grass and laid her on it and changed her diaper. I thought to myself if only I had put one of these on myself before we left. Nah, it would never fit me…...I don’t think? That had my mind wondering. I pee my pants so much. I wonder about a diaper. I pulled Samantha’s pants back up and she took off for the sandbox again. I had almost forgotten that I was hiding my own peed pants being distracted by her. I wish I had at least brought a change of clothes for me. Oh well. Chapter 4, the return home I looked at my watch and it was 1:PM. We had to head home. My pants were dry now except for my bottom and crotch area. I wrapped the jacket around me to cover my wet bottom and pushed the stroller in front of me to hide my crotch down to the sandbox. I told Samantha mommy was coming home soon and we had to go home now. She said ok and ran back to me and I helped her into the stroller and buckled her in. I gave her the bottle I had packed and we started the journey home. The first few blocks I was feeling the heat of the day. We got to the busy intersection and I pushed the crosswalk button and waited and waited and waited. Finally it changed. I was sweating a little now with that jacket on me but I didn’t dare take it off. As we got home I opened the door and took her out of the stroller to walk in the house. I then took my jacket off of my waist also to cool down some. I took my jeans off and my panties were soaked. I brought my jeans up to the bathroom and used a hair dryer to blow dry my jeans. My underwear was not comfortable on me now as the pee was drying and smelling too. I sprayed my jeans with perfume after I got them dry. I took off my underwear and wrapped them in a plastic bag and put them into my backpack. Now I had no underwear to put on. I slid my jeans on but they were really not comfortable against my body. Then I remembered my idea. Could I fit in her Pampers? I walked out of the bathroom and into Samantha’s room. I took out one of her Pampers and put it around my waist. They were a Size 7 as Samantha is no small baby. I am very thin and with some serious stretching I was able to make them fit me. The sides were very stretched out around me, but the diaper seemed to stay in place on me. I pulled my jeans up and walked down stairs. I then brought Samantha up and changed her clothes and diaper again. I told her it was nap time and she said ok and I tucked her in. I went down stairs smelling like perfume very strongly and got something to drink and sat on the couch. Soon the Patterson’s came home. They asked how things went and I told them we played at the park for about 3 hours and she just laid down for a nap. They handed me $20 and said thank you so much. I grabbed my bag and headed home. As I was walking that drink I had at the Patterson’s was catching up with me. My bladder was sending signals already. As I got back to that long intersection waiting for the light it hit me again. I felt my bladder contract and pee shot out of me. This time I remembered I was wearing the Pampers and decided to see what they could do. So instead of crossing my legs and holding myself in front of all of this traffic, I let it flow for a while. As I felt the diaper swell up and I felt wetness up the back onto my bottom and up the front I thought I better stop now. But as I was about to stop my flow was coming to an end. Wow I thought, this worked. I stood here in front of all of these people in their cars and completely peed myself and no one but me knew it. I did a quick run of my hand around my bottom and crotch to check for wetness and found none. This I was pleased with. The light turned green and I walked across the road. Passing by a Target, I decided maybe...just maybe this was worth a try again. I had $20 in my pocket and my backpack was not full. It only had my peed panties in it and a couple small things. I made a detour across the road and into the store. I went back to the diaper Aisle and looked over everything in there. I found these pull ups called Goodnites L-XL and they were saying for kids over 60 pounds. I am over 60 pounds. The Pampers size 6 that I squeezed into are for kids 50 pounds. They had a small pack of those Good nights for $9 and I decided to try them. I went to the check out and paid for them. I walked right into the ladies bathroom to get out of my wet diaper and I opened the bag and pulled one of the Goodnites out of the package. It was big. I made sure the stall door was locked and I slipped my shoes off, then my jeans. I pulled the tapes off of my wet diaper and rolled it up and laid it on the back of the toilet. I then stepped into the pull up and put it on. It fit very well. I put my jeans back on and my shoes. I picked up the wet Pampers I had on that worked so well and walked out of the stall and dropped it in the trash. Another lady came in as I was walking out and she looked at me funny carrying a wet baby diaper. But didn’t say anything. I walked out of the store and continued home. Chapter 5, trial and error As I arrived home I was feeling very hot and thirsty. I went to the kitchen and poured myself some kool Aid. I drank it down and then grabbed a Diet Coke also. I was hungry too and so I grabbed a hot dog and a bun, put it in the microwave and then headed to my room to play a video game. Soon my bladder did its thing and I found myself kind of dancing around trying to hold it but wanted to finish this level. I was up on my knees as I was playing and I felt my bladder squirt some pee out and I grabbed my crotch to stop it. That is when I noticed the padding between my legs and the fact that the pee did not run down my pant leg like normal. I actually kind of forgot I was wearing a diaper. I paused the game and relaxed and peed in my Pull Up. It took it all with no issue and I went back to finishing that level of the game. That was a success. Once done I removed my jeans, took off the wet Pull Up and put on another. I put the pull up in my trash can for now. And went back to playing. Another hour or so went by and I was sitting on my floor and had to pee again. This time I remembered that I was wearing a diaper and did not even try to stop it. I let it out in my Pull Up. Once done I finished the level, paused the game and got up to change the diaper again. When I got up and my jeans felt cold on my leg. I looked down and my pants were wet. The pull up worked while I was standing, but not while I was sitting. This is not good I thought to myself. I took my jeans off and put them in the wash. I changed my pull up again and put on a skirt and went down stairs. My parents were in the kitchen as mom was making dinner and dad was talking to her about something. I walked in and sat down. Dad said oh your home. That as a long day for you. I said no, I was home a couple hours ago. I was up in my room. Dad asked how it went and I told them mostly good. Samantha had a good time as I took her to the park to play in the sand box. Mom said oh so she is all dirty now! I snickered and said yep. But I cleaned her up some and changed her clothes and diapers. Mom looked at me and said she is still in diapers? I said yeah, they are trying to potty train her but today she got a break because we went to the park. Mom said you could have taken her to the potty every ½ hour at the park also you know? I looked at her and said um yeah…...No! The toilets were out of order there. Mom said set her spoon down and said so…..that means you…. I interrupted and said yeah. Two times. I couldn’t help it. Mom said where are your wet panties? I said they and the jeans are in the dirty laundry basket. Mom said oh you didn't wear that dress today? I said no...I changed into it when I got home. Mom said sometimes I wonder if we didn’t potty train you too soon and maybe that is why you have such a tiny bladder? I shrugged my shoulders and got up to get another Diet Coke to drink. As dinner was finished we ate and Dad said I was doing the dishes tonight. Mom said make sure you go pee before you start them as you know it makes you have to go and Dad will be in the bathroom so you can’t get in there. I said ok and then remembered my Pull Up on me. We finished eating and Mom and Dad went into the living room and I started the dish water. Soon Dad went up stairs and got into the shower. We have a separate hot water thingy for the bathroom and kitchen so we can do both at once. I started the dishes and soon the need to pee hit me like usual. This time I just relaxed and peed in my Pull Up. as I was finishing mom came in and said the kitchen looks good. She looked at the floor and I said what are you looking at? She said you forgot to go pee before Dad went in there and we forgot to ask you about it. I am looking to see where you cleaned up your pee puddle. I said there was no puddle I was fine. Mom said you have not been fine in the last 8 years washing dishes. She grabbed my skirt and pulled it up to see how wet my underwear was to prove she was right. Mom said oh……..I see how you got around it this time. I was so embarrassed. I said Mom, how dare you. And I stomped out of the room. I went to my bedroom and slammed the door. I sat on my bed in my wet Pull Up not knowing what to think now. Soon mom opened my door and came in. She sat on the bed beside me and said honey. I am sorry. I did not know you were in diapers again. I wanted for the last few years to ask you if we could let you wear diapers on our road trips and vacations and even at night so you would not be getting up all night to pee. And Dad said you would never go for it, so I dropped it. I am so sorry honey, I never meant to embarrass you. I looked at her with tears in my eyes and she said come, give me a hug. And I did. She said you don’t have to spend your hard earned money on buying your own diapers. Mommy will buy them for you if you want. I said well……That would be nice if you would, they are expensive………...….Just so you know I actually tried one of Samantha’s Pampers today after I peed my pants, and they were too tight but worked much better than these Goodnites do. Do they make Pampers bigger than size 7? Mom said lets get you changed out of that wet one into another one and we can go online and find out ok? I was so embarrassed but relieved also that mom was on board with this. We ended up finding youth diapers that fit me really well, and would hold a lot for night time, and thinner ones for day time. Mom said she wanted me only to wear the thick ones at night or if we go on a vacation somewhere, and I was not allowed to wear the day diapers unless I had to go somewhere for a long period. She did not want me to become diaper dependant. I nodded my head in agreement and we waited for the diapers to come to the house. In the meantime Mom bought me more goodnites to wear and she put a plastic sheet on my bed and a towel. She said I am sure the Goodnite won’t hold all of our pees at night but it should get you through a couple at least. If you can get up for one or two of them and then use the Pull up for the others that would be good. But the bed is now protected just incase. I said ok mommy thank you. That night I woke up at about 1AM and ran to the toilet and peed. I woke back up at about 4AM and ran to the toilet to pee. I woke up again at about 7:30 and decided it was do or die. I relaxed and wet my Pull Up in bed and went back to sleep. It worked for one pee very well. About 10AM mom came in and woke me again. I had fallen back to sleep. She pulled my blanket back and said well the pull up is very wet but the bed is dry. I heard you up a couple times last night. I said yeah, I was afraid to just use the Pull Up completely. She said at least you got good sleep now. I said yes I did. As I opened my eyes more to see my clock. Wow I said, I have never slept this long. Mom said I have a surprise for you too. FedEx just left, your diapers are here. Do you want to try one now? I said I sure do.. I gotta pee now though...Mom said, well what better time to try one. I said good point but hurry or I will be soaking this Pull Up more. Mom went down and brought the case of diapers up. She pulled the packs out and opened one and showed it to me. I said mom...don’t show me now...I gotta go. As I felt some pee squirt out of me into the already wet Goodnite. Mom said let me put this one on you real quick, I agreed and laid back down on my bed on my back. Mom slid the diaper under my bottom and then ripped the sides of the Pull Up open. Then she slid the wet pull up out from under my bottom and then quickly wrapped the new diaper on me and taped it up. I sat up and then stood up as I started to pee in it. I looked in the mirror in slight disbelief I was standing there in a diaper and peeing in it. But it looked cute on me. When I was done wetting the diaper I looked and to my amazement it was not even close to full. I said mom is this the day diaper? Mom dug in the box more and said yes. The night ones are even thicker. I was impressed. Mom said I will leave you to get dressed. I said well I can just leave this diaper on for now until I fill it. Mom said sure for today but don’t get too used to them. Your not going back in diapers completely. I nodded and she walked out. I cleaned up and put another dress on and headed downstairs. It was lunch time now. Mom and Dad were at the table and I joined them. I ate some lunch and had a glass of water and a Coke. As we were talking and eating I felt another urge to pee and I relaxed there at the table and wet my diaper again. I looked down and pulled my dress up to see how the diaper was doing and it was getting full now but I and the chair was dry. Mom said so how is it? I said really works great, thank you mommy. Dad looked at me and shook his head. Mom said I told you it was necessary. He said Yeah I know. We finished lunch and told mom I was headed out to play in the yard. She said ok, get that diaper off now and put on panties to go play in. I said yes mom. And headed up stairs. I changed into some shorts and panties and a T-shirt and headed out to ride my bike. I ran into a friend of mine from school and she invited me to a cookout that night. I told her I would have to ask my mom but probably I could come. I left and headed back home to ask. I came in the house and Mom looked at me and said back so soon? I said yeah, I just got invited to a cookout at Jennifer's house tonight can I go? Mom said I don’t see why not. Dad nodded in agreement. I said thank you and kissed mom and hugged dad and ran to the phone to call and let her know I would be there. I came back out and put my bike away as I needed to clean up and get ready to go. I picked out a nice long dress to wear with long sleeves at would get cool there before I got home. She said it was from 6 to 9 tonight. I came back down and watched some TV to kill time until 5:30. Mom and Dad were getting dinner ready and sat down to eat at 5:15. I stayed at the TV as I would have my dinner at the cookout. I went up stairs and went to the bathroom to pee one last time before leaving. I then went to my room and put my dress on. One thing I hate about her place is the bathroom. You have to go into her house, and then through the living room past her brother who always hits on me and tries to keep me from going to the toilet as he knows I will pee my pants. A couple times he was successful at making me wet myself but it did not show and I did not let him have the satisfaction that it worked. But the rest of the night I was in wet panties which I did not like. My curiosity was getting the best of me. I had to know what these night diapers would do if the day ones were that good. I decided to try it and see if I could get away with it. I grabbed one out of the package, I opened it up and pulled my dress back off so I could put it on me. It was thick and soft. I tried to get it as straight as I could and tight around my legs like I was taught to do with Samantha and her diapers on her. I looked in the mirror and it looked good. I tucked in the sides and top to make it neat and put my dress back on. I put on some comfortable shoes and went down stairs. The diaper did crinkle a little so I had to stay away from my parents. I yelled from the living room, I am leaving now, love you and walked out the door as they said be careful honey, bye. I said I will as the door closed. I walked to the cook out with an odd but cool feeling of this thick diaper on me. Hopefully no one will be flipping my dress up, so I should be good. Even her brother is not that rude and immature. Her mom welcomed me and said you know where the potty is when you need it, the door will be unlocked all the time. They know me well. I have learned over the years not to be embarrassed by peeing my pants around friends. It is just a fact of life with me. I went to the grill and got a burger and some beans and sat at the table with a can of Coke. My friends and I laughed and chatted about summer, school, boys, etc. Soon I felt I had to pee and I got really nervous. I don’t know why, heck I have peed my pants in front of them numerous times over the years. But now I was nervous. It took some time for me to relax enough to pee in my diaper in front of them at the table. That was a new experience. I am used to peeing myself in front of people when I can’t help it, But to pee myself on purpose was different. What I quickly realized is unlike every other time when the conversation would stop as they noticed the pee on the floor. This time no one had a clue I just wet my diaper. I like this. The night went on and we sat by the fire talking and drinking more cokes and I peed at least 2 more times before it was time to leave. Her Mom came to me and said she was amazed that I did not go into the house to pee one time tonight. She said did you just give up and pee your pants all night instead? I looked at her kind of embarrassed and said well…………………….um………… Her mom chimed in, that was a joke ha ha. I laughed and said oh ok. Little did she know it was not a joke, I did pretty much just that in my diaper. I hugged the girls goodbye and headed home. As I got to my doorstep I had to pee again and stood there letting it out my now very wet diaper. I walked in and Mom and Dad were sitting there on the couch. How was it they asked, I said it was really fun. Mom said so………….how did it work out? I said how did what work out? She motioned for me to walk over to her. She grabbed my dress and pulled it up exposing my very wet diaper. I said Mom.. She said I thought we talked about you only wearing these at night, and on trips etc. I said yes and I agree, but this was special. First I wanted to know how well they work, and second her brother keeps grabbing me and tickling me everytime I try to go pee and I have peed myself there more than once. So tonight I avoided him completely and kept my clothes dry. Mom said oh, I didn't know that. Ok your excused then in this case. I said how did you know I was wearing it? Mom said i went to your room to put the diapers away and get one out for you for bed tonight and found the pack open and one missing. I smiled and said thanks mom. I kissed her and Dad good night and said I am going to bed early. Mom said, so …..how many times did you pee in that diaper? It looks really wet. I said 4 times, 3 at the party and one on the doorstep here. Mom laughed and said she was going to borrow some of them herself. I said you bought them go for it. They really are comfortable and nice. She smiled and said goodnight. I changed my diaper into another one and that night for the first time in years I got a full 9 hours sleep. I woke up to pee, wet my diaper and fell right back to sleep 3 times. My life has changed for the good forever now back in diapers.
  8. Winter Break From School

    Chapter 1, life I always look forward to the end of December even though it is really cold out and we usually get lots of snow. The two weeks off of school is nice, and of coarse, who doesn’t like Christmas? My name is Amanda and I am in 10th grade. I have a little sister Jacquelyn who is in 7th grade this year also. We call her Jack for short. Our parents are usually pretty laid back when it comes to us. Mom and I get along really well she is my friend and someone I can go to with all of my problems. And when I am sick she is always there to take care of me. I love my mom so much. She has been teaching me how to cook lately and so I have been spending some of my time on weekends learning from her in the kitchen. It is fun and I feel pride when the family sits down at the table and Dad and or my little sister make comments about how good the meal is. Then I get to tell them that I made it! That makes me really happy that they like my cooking. I am also very excited because in 6 months I get my temporary driver's license so everyone stay off the sidewalks because this girl will be driving. Dad said he will be happy to take me out and teach me to drive. Jack says there is no way she will ride in the car with me. But I am not worried. I am sure I will do fine. Both Jack and I on occasion wet the bed. Jack has been doing it almost every night now lately and my mom has put her back in diapers at night. She don’t seem to mind it at all. Heck on Saturday mornings she and I get up early to watch cartoons and she will be sitting there beside me in her wet diaper as if it is nothing. Usually before my parents get up she pees in it again sitting there beside me. It is just pretty normal around my house. I thankfully only wet the bed a couple times a month now so mom just deals with the sheets and my clothes when it happens. Chapter 2 schools out Finally school let out for Christmas break. I put my stuff in my locker, went to the bathroom to pee, and put my coat and boots on for the journey home. It has snowed again last night and all morning so we had about 5 inches of snow to drudge through. Jack gets out at a different time than me and her school is a couple miles from mine so we don’t walk together home anymore as I am now at the high school. Part way home I met up with a couple other friends of mine and we all walked together chatting about some of the boys we liked and what we were going to do over the break. Before I knew it they had all turned off onto their road and I was back to walking alone for the last 4 blocks to my house. Finally upon arriving home, I kicked my boots off, took my coat off and went right to the kitchen to see what mom was making for dinner as I was getting hungry already. I had not had too big of a lunch today. Jack was at the table working on a coloring book she had and I stopped over to see what she was doing. It was a cute picture and she asked me to color a page with her….so I agreed. I grabbed another coloring book and sat down beside her and we both talked and colored until Dad came home from work and dinner was about ready to eat. We had to clear and set the table for dinner. Jack usually sets the plates and salad bowls and I put out the silverware. Mom made Swiss Steak, homemade mashed potatoes and salad with some homemade bread that made the house smell so good. We sat down to dinner and as Dad and Mom chatted about whatever, Jack and I gobbled our dinner down because it was about time to watch one of our favorite TV shows. After we cleaned our plates and Mom made Jack eat her salad we asked to be excused and Dad said yes. We got up and turned on the TV and both of us sat there watching TV. Once our parents finished eating Dad came in and said ok you two, clear the table and wash the dishes. Mom worked hard to make the meal, and you two are going to clean it up. I said Dad can we wait until the show is over please? Dad said yes but then get in there and clean up. While the show finished Mom washed the pots and pans and then they headed up stairs. On the next commercial Jack jumped up, holding herself and ran to the potty. I had to go too. She was taking forever in there. She finally came down and as she walked toward me I could see the crotch of her pants and down the inside of her legs was wet. She sat beside me as the show came back on. I didn’t say anything to her because I really don’t care. Not my problem. But my need to pee was getting worse myself. Finally the show ended and I jumped up and ran to the potty. When I got done I grabbed her and we headed to clean up the kitchen and do the dishes as Dad had asked us to do. Once finished we went back to watching TV. The rest of the night was spent watching TV, and texting my friends from school while Jack played with a game of hers. Mom and Dad had came back down stairs and mom was on the phone with one of her friends and Dad was reading the news paper. 9:30 came around and Jack was kind of looking really tired laying on the floor sort of falling asleep. Mom came in the room seeing her like that and said Jack, Go up to the potty, and then get a diaper and bring it down here to me so we can get you ready for bed. She said ok and slowly walked up stairs. Later I heard the toilet flush, the water running in the sink, then Jack slowly walked back down stairs with her diaper and handed it to Mom. Mom told her to lay on the floor and she did. Mom took her pants off of her and her panties both of which had dried completely from her accident earlier. Mom diapered her up and told her to get into her pajamas, put her clothes in the laundry as for some reason they smell a little like pee and she will be up to tuck her in shortly. Jack agreed and off she went upstairs in her diaper. Mom looked at me and said Amanda, at 10 PM I want you in bed. I said ok Mom. and went back to watching TV. She told Dad she was going to tuck Jack in and then go to bed herself. Dad said he would be up later and kissed her. Mom went upstairs and put Jack to bed and went to bed herself. 9:55 came around and Dad said give me the remote now, you won’t be needing it anymore. I said ok, got up and handed it to him. I kissed him good night and went up stairs. I went in and peed on the toilet and then to my room to change into my pajamas and went to bed. Chapter 3, Saturday The next thing I knew it was 7:30 AM and Jack was in my room in her wet diaper and pajama top telling me to get up. I woke up and told her to go away, I wanted to sleep in…...though in reality all of the sudden I had to pee really badly. She said please come down stairs with me. I knew between my full bladder and her I was not going to win, so I said alright. I flipped the blanket off and sat up in bed. She walked out of my room as I stood up. Oh My God I have to pee. I took off for the bathroom, closed the door, pulled my pajama bottoms down and started peeing in my panties standing over the toilet. I quickly sat on the toilet panties still on and peed. Thankfully I was quick enough to miss my pajama bottoms as my bottom was sort of over the toilet when I lost it. After I finished peeing I waited for my panties to stop dripping before I stood up. I removed my pajama bottoms and inspected them to make sure they were not wet and they were not. I took off my panties and put them in the sink and turned the water on. I got a washcloth and cleaned up the pee from my bottom and legs and put my pajama bottoms back on. I rinsed out my panties and squeezed all the excess water out of them and headed back to my room. I can’t believe I just did that. Oh well.. I took my pajamas off, put on some clean panties and jeans and a nice top and then went downstairs to join jack who was sitting in front of the TV in her now really wet diaper. I sat beside her and she said it is about time. I said shut up, your lucky I got up for you at all. Then I thought to myself I guess I am lucky I got up too or I would have had a wet bed again. Another hour passed and our parents finally came downstairs. Mom said Jack go get that diaper off and put some clothes on. She said ok and went up stairs. Mom called me into the Kitchen to help her make breakfast while Dad turned the news on TV. Mom and I decided to make scrambled eggs, Sausage patties, hashbrowns and toast. Mom got the coffee pot going for her and Dad. Jack came down dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. Dad said it was supposed to snow even more today but not be as cold. He said today will be a high of 28 which is a lot better than the other day when we had a high of 9. Soon we had breakfast done and Mom had Jack and I set the table. Mom brought the food out and we ate. Saturdays are great because Dad is home with us also. Dad asked if we wanted to go sled riding today for a few hours? Both Jack and I said heck yes! How soon can we go? Dad said after we eat lunch Mom will take you as I have to work on my car in the garage. It needs an oil change and an alternator put on it. We were pretty happy about that. The rest of the morning dragged on while Mom and Dad took her car and went shopping and we stayed home. Once they returned Dad had me and Jack help unload the car and put the groceries away. Dad took the trash out, and our Parents brought home KFC Chicken, mashed potatoes, and beans for Lunch for us. They had already eaten while they were out. Jack and I gobbled down the meals and drank the diet cokes down and said can we go sled ride now! Mom laughed and said yes. Get your snow suit and boots on and we will leave shortly. First, both of you go pee. We said ok and ran up stairs to the toilet. Jack went in first and I Waited in the hall, when she was done I went in peed, washed my hands and ran back down stairs to bundle up and wait for mom. Mom made us wear winter hats and earmuffs also. Mom bundled up and we headed to the nearby city park where there was a huge hill. There were quite a few kids there sled riding already and we took our sleds out of the car and took off for the hill. Mom said she would be at the bottom of the hill as she took out her lawn chair and phone and sat down off to the side and kept herself busy doing something. Jack and I must have gone up and down that hill what seemed like 100 times in a hour. We were tired and jack was kind of holding herself and squirming. I had to admit I was kind of really needing to pee also but this was so much fun I did not want to quit. We went down the hill a few more times when jack at the bottom crossed her legs really tight and grabbed her crotch. She looked at me and said she just peed a little in her pants. I said well let's go tell mom. We walked over to mom with our sleds and I said Mom, we have a problem. Jack just peed her pants a little bit and she has to go really bad. Mom said ok then let's head back home. I said no….I don’t want to stop playing yet. Jack agreed she did not want to stop playing yet either. As she jumped up and down holding herself with her legs crossed. Mom looked at Jack and said alright, then just go ahead and pee your pants Jack, you're already wet anyhow. Jack without saying a word removed her hand from her crotch and as she spread her legs out a stream of pee was running off of her boot into the snow. In a moment Jack took off for the hill to go down again. Mom looked at me and said well, are you going to keep playing? I said I……...I have to pee also. Mom said then go ahead and join your sister. I said thanks mom and took off for the hill. On the way walking to the hill I let it go in my pants. By the time I got to the bottom of the hill my bladder was empty and my pants were soaked. I got to the top and zoomed down behind Jack. when I got down the hill jack was waiting for me to walk back up with her. I said don’t feel bad, I peed my pants too. Jack looked at me and smiled and we went back to playing. Another hour passed and I was really tired and so was Jack. We went down one last time and decided to call it quits. Jack picked up her sled and then stopped. I turned to see what she was doing and she was peeing again. Once done we continued back to mom. Mom was now standing instead of sitting in her chair waiting for us. She was also no longer standing with the other women as most of them had left. But she was standing alone at the end of the park now. We headed over to her and she said are you girls ready to leave now? I said yes lets go I am tired and getting cold now. She said ok and as she turned to walk away the footprint in the snow where she was standing was yellow and the snow was melted on one side of the print where her shoe was. I then looked really close her black jeans and the inside was dark. Mom had also peed her pants there at the park. Jack did not notice anything. As we got to the car mom put a towel on her seat to sit down on and we got in the back. We drove home and Dad was just finishing up fixing his car. We got out of the car and Mom made us wait outside the garage for her as she went in to talk to Dad. While standing there getting colder and colder, my bladder was again getting full. Being still in my snow suit and peed jeans from before, I relaxed and let it out peeing my pants again standing there outside our garage. Jack was over in the yard trying to make snowballs to throw at me. After I finished peeing my pants, I returned fire and Jack and I got into a snowball fight. Mom came out and said ok you two, lets get in the house and get you cleaned up. We got in the house and removed our boots and snow suits to reveal our very wet pee soaked jeans. Mine was much wetter than Jacks as I had just peed them again. Mom said both of you, into the shower. Get those clothes off and both of you shower together and get dressed. Dad is taking us to a drive in movie tonight. We were like awesome and we ran up stairs to get undressed, get into the shower and rinse off. And then get some clean clothes on. We put the peed pants and stuff down the laundry shoot and headed down stairs. Mom then went up to get herself cleaned up and change and shower. Mom had put some Macaroni and Cheese in the oven as we were in the shower so we had some dinner while Dad asked me to make a salad for everyone. Jack sat on the couch watching TV with Dad. Soon Mom came back down wearing a nice dress and heels and had her hair done etc. We sat down to dinner and as we ate Dad explained that this was an old fashioned drive in theatre. He then asked do you know what that is? Jack said no! I said well not exactly no? Dad said we will be in the car for the entire time. We pull into the movie lot, pay for admission and there is a speaker that you put in your car so you can hear the movie and you watch it on a huge screen through the front window of the car. I was like wow, no way? He said yes way! He said but here is the thing. From the time we leave until we get back which could be 3 to 4 hours with traffic we can’t get out of the car at all. So I would like to put both of you in diapers for the night so that when you have to pee, you can do it right there in the car. Jack said ok I will Daddy. Dad said thank you. Then he looked at me. I said a diaper? Dad said I don’t want you peeing your pants in the car, and I know how you always have to go. So we are going to put you and your sister in a diaper for the evening. I reluctantly agreed. After all it is not the first time I have been in a diaper…. Just the first time it was not in bed. We finished eating cleaned up the kitchen and then mom told us both to go pee and then go into our rooms. Jack went first and mom went into her room. Jack came out of the bathroom and went into her room to get her diaper on as I went in to try to pee. I could not. I just did not have to go. After some time of trying Mom said Amanda, what are you doing in there. I said I don’t have to pee mom. She said fine come out then. I got off the toilet and pulled my panties and pants up and came out. Mom laid me on my bed on my back, removed my pants and panties and then had me raise my bottom off the bed. She stuck the diaper under me and then applied some of Jack’s baby powder to me and then proceeded to take the diaper on me. She then told me to wear a skirt with my diaper instead of the tight jeans. I got up and put on a skirt and came down stairs. Jack was sitting on the couch in trousers and you could see the bulge of the diaper under them. She didn’t really care. I was glad Mom suggested the skirt for me. Soon we were on our way to the movie. As we pulled into the lot sitting in the line of traffic all of the sudden I had to pee and pee badly. Sometimes I hate my body. Knowing I had the diaper on I relaxed and peed in the diaper. Gheesh, we were not even parked for the movie and I peed already. I hope this diaper holds a lot. Jack was playing her game on her toy and I was interested in how this movie thing worked. Soon we were parked and Dad brought the speaker into the car and put the window back up. It was cool the screen was huge and there was cartoons playing on it now. Dad got out and walked toward the back of the car and then vanished. Soon he came back with two huge containers of popcorn, and 4 Diet cokes for us to drink. He handed us two of the Cokes and one tub of popcorn. Jack and I began to watch the Disney movie that was playing. I had actually never seen 101 Dalmatians before. So we enjoyed the movie. With in no time of drinking half that coke I had to pee again and let it out in my diaper. This was pee number 2 and the movie had been playing about 40 minutes. My Coke was not gone yet and my diaper was filling up. The movie was interesting and soon my Coke was gone and I was full of popcorn too. Mom and Dad mumbled something about intermission needing to get here soon. A few more moments and the movie stopped and a big advertisement came on and in big letters it said INTERMISSION! Mom and Dad said they would be right back, keep the car doors locked. We did and Jack said that she really liked the movie. I had to pee again and let it out...but this time I felt it running on my leg and under my bottom. I reached down and the seat was wet. My inner thigh was wet, and my bottom was wet also. I said oh no! Jack said what is wrong? I said my diaper leaked on the seat. Jack looked down at the seat and then laid back in hers. When our parents returned I told them my diaper just leaked all over the seat of the car. Dad turned around and turned on the dome lights. He asked how many times did I pee in it? I said this is the third time. He looked at mom and said did you bring extra diapers? Mom said yes she did thankfully. Dad told Jack to go up front with mom for a little bit and then told me to lay down on the seat on my back with my head where Jack was sitting. He opened the back door and pulled my dress up under my back. He got a towel and wiped up the vinyl seat and then removed my very soaked diaper. He put the wet diaper on the floor, put the clean one under me. He said I am sorry I don’t have any wipes for you as he brought the diaper up and taped it on me. He then helped me sit back up. I have to admit it felt really good to be in a clean dry diaper. He said let me know if you pee 2 times in this one and we will change you so it does not go on the seat again ok? I said yes Daddy. He then went around and told Jack to get in the back and lay her head on my lap so he could change her. She did and soon we were both in nice dry diapers as the movie started back up. I did find myself needing to pee again and let it out in the diaper before the movie ended. We really liked the movie and once it was over Dad put the speaker back out on the stand and we headed to get in line behind the others trying to leave. That was cool and it was getting late. I looked over and Jack was sleeping sitting there in the seat. Finally on the road I was getting tired too. Mom and Dad were quiet. As we neared the house I asked how soon before we get home? Dad said a few more blocks why? I said I need to pee again. Mom said just use your diaper, that is what it is for. I said oh...ok and relaxed and wet it. I said I am so tired I can’t keep my eyes open. Can I wear a diaper to bed also tonight? I have been peeing so much I am afraid I will have a bad night again tonight. Mom looked at Dad and asked what he thought? Dad said he didn’t care as long as I was not going to want diapered every night again. I agreed to that and Mom said when we get in I will change both of you and tuck you into bed. I said Jack has been sleeping the entire time. Mom said well then she is more than likely wet too. We pulled into the driveway, and I got out and stretched my legs. Mom opened the door and gently woke Jack up and then Dad came around and carried her into the house. He laid her on the couch. Mom came down stairs from using the toilet again and pulled Jack’s pants off exposing a very wet diaper. Mom told me to run up to my room and bring down two diapers, the wipes and baby powder so she could change both of us. I turned and got halfway up the steps when mom said also take your skirt off and your top and come back down in just your diaper and pajama top. I said ok and went into my room, removed my skirt and T-shirt, put on my pajama top and looked in my full length mirror. I actually looked pretty cute in that wet diaper. I went into Jack’s room and grabbed a diaper for her and one for me, the powder and the wipes and headed down stairs. Dad passed me on the steps headed to the bathroom himself. Mom finished changing Jack as Dad came down stairs and picked her up and carried her tired little body to bed. Mom tossed her wet diaper on the floor beside the couch and then told me to lay down. She pulled me toward her body spreading my legs to each side of her as she pulled the tapes off of my diaper. She remarked how she could not believe how wet I was again. I said I know I told you I was worried about peeing in the car again. Mom took the wipes and cleaned my skin, slid a clean dry diaper under me and then applied some baby powder that felt really good then proceeded to diaper me up. I got up and she patted my bottom and told me to head to bed. I kissed her good night and then kissed daddy and went to bed. Chapter 4 Sunday As I drifted off to sleep I was thinking about how much fun we had today both sled riding and the cool movie on the huge screen that we could watch from inside the car. I reached down under the blanket and felt my diaper. I had an odd sense of comfort and protection and quickly fell asleep. As the sun shine hit my eyes I woke from my sleep to see it was Sunday Morning. I flipped the covers off of my body and rolled my feet onto the floor. I looked down at my wet diaper and could remember one time waking up in the middle of the night and relaxing and wetting my diaper. I stood up and stretched and had to pee again. I looked in my mirror as I stood there peeing in the diaper again. I then brushed my hair and headed down stairs. This time I was actually up before Jack. I thought about going to get her up for once, but decided against it. I flipped on the TV and sat on the floor in my wet diaper and pajama top. Soon Jack came down dressed the same and sat beside me. She looked over at me and was a little surprised to see me in a diaper also. She said didn’t you take that diaper off last night? I said mom changed me into another diaper after she changed you last night so I just used it. She said oh that is ok...I just use my diaper too most of the time. I am scared to get up in the dark to go pee. I told her I did not blame her at all and wished mom would let me wear diapers every night too. I said this was really nice to not have to get up to pee, and again this morning I got out of bed and just let it out in my diaper. She giggled and said she does the same. We went back to watching TV until our parents got up. Soon Mom and Dad came down stairs. They took one look at us and shook their heads. Mom said I thought kids were supposed to get older not younger as time goes by? Dad said what do you mean as he looked over at both of us sitting there in wet diapers and watching TV. He snickered and said let them be kids. They are growing up too fast as it is. Mom agreed and called me to come help her make breakfast. I waddled into the kitchen and helped her cook breakfast. Standing at the stove stirring the scrambled eggs as they were cooking I felt the urge to pee again and let it out in the diaper. Now it felt really heavy and was feeling wet on my skin. I knew if I told mom, she would make me take it off and put panties on, but if I didn’t tell mom and I sat down it would probably get the dining room chair all wet. I was not really in the mood to go back up stairs and get cleaned up. So I chose to say nothing. We set the table and I sat down and felt the pee squeeze around my butt and onto my legs. I without looking to draw attention to myself reached down to my chair and it was wet. I wiped the pee off of my fingers onto my pajama top and proceeded to eat without saying a word. At this point I was probably in trouble anyhow so I might as well not care. After breakfast mom told us both to go sit on the couch for a moment and then we would get a shower and clean up for the day. I got up and waddled to the living room with pee dripping down the back of my legs as I walked. There was a small puddle on the dining room chair where I was sitting. I sat down and felt more squish out of my diaper onto the vynl of the couch cushion. I had to pee again now but didn’t dare let it out in the diaper sitting here. Mom came in an said we are going to the mall today and visiting our Aunt for a few hours so she wanted us to dress nicely. My Aunt was sure to have Christmas presents for all of us. I stood up and started peeing in the diaper as soon as I stood up and it was not on purpose. I had to go so bad. Mom looked at the couch cushion where I was sitting and it was wet, about then the diaper failed me and pee poured down the inside of my right leg splashing on the floor. Mom’s eyes got big as she gasp, Amanda what did you do? I started to act upset and fake cry as I said I don’t know mommy, I stood up and it just came out of me. Which was actually the truth. But I did not volunteer the three other times I peed on purpose. Mom yelled for Dad to come quick and bring paper towels to help clean up my mess. I stood there and could not move as the diaper was hanging down on me. Dad looked at me and told Jack to go get another diaper and bring it down quickly. Mom said don’t move. I said ok and stood there. At this point what harm would there be in finishing to empty my bladder so I just let the rest out and more pee cascaded down my legs to the floor where mom had just cleaned it up. She looked at me..are you peeing again? I said yes mommy but I think I am done now. Dad took the clean diaper from Jack, opened it up and put it between my legs to catch the pee that was pooled in the diaper I had on. Mom removed the tapes and the diaper fell down onto the diaper Dad was holding under me. The pee ran over the side of the diaper and onto the one Dad was holding minimizing the mess on the floor. Jack just looked at me in shock. Mom told Jack to go back up and get two more diapers and bring them down. Mom told me to get right into the shower and clean up, and come right back down here as she will put me back in a diaper for now until we see what is going on. I agreed very happy inside as I kind of liked being in a diaper. I told mom the dining room chair might be wet too. Dad rolled his eyes and went to check. I went up and got my shower. I came out went into my room to put on a bra and came down stairs so mom could diaper me up. Mom put my diaper on, then removed Jack’s and told her to do the same. Mom said I think in light of this, we will just keep both of you diapered for the day. Jack nodded and went to get her shower. Dad said he was headed to the Medical supply store to get some thicker diapers for us. He returned with them saying we had the thickest diapers they carry already. He had purchased another pack and a pack of what is called booster pads to put in our diapers so that we could get more use from the diaper. Dad then went on line in search of thicker heavier diapers for us. Mom took out two more diapers and put the boosters in them and said she would put these on us just before we leave. She told me to go get the kitchen cleaned up and I did. While washing dishes I had to pee again as usual, only this time I could just let it out in my diaper. Once finished Jack and I went upstairs to get dressed into something nice. We came back down stairs and I went back to the kitchen to get some juice to drink. Then came in and joined Jack at playing a game as we had to pass the time until we left. Mom told Dad to pack at least 4 diapers and boosters in the car just incase and he said yeah...I think I will pack 6. Someone here seems to not only be peeing more than normal, but is loading herself up in the process as he looked at me finishing up my glass of juice. I got a sad look on my face and Mom said Amanda, Dad is just being funny it is ok. You will be diapered so it does not matter. I smiled and went back to playing the game with Jack. The phone rang and Mom answered it. It was our Aunt. She said that they did not go to church today so it was ok to come over. Mom said ok see you in a few and hung up the phone. Mom said ok girls, time for a diaper change and then we are leaving. Mom Said Amanda come and lay down here. I stood up and felt like I needed to pee. I said, I have to pee right now. Mom said oh, ok go ahead and fill that diaper up then. Jack come on up here. As mom changed Jack’s diaper and put the booster pad in it, I wet my diaper again. I noticed the booster pad made Jack’s diaper much thicker between her legs. Her pants showed the diaper bulge pretty good now. Mom said Jack, why don’t you both wear a dress today. Jack said no Mommy, I want to wear my pants. Mom shrugged her shoulders and said ok as she helped her off the couch. Mom looked at me and asked “ are you done peeing yet?” I said yep, just finished. I walked over and laid down on the couch so mom could change my diaper. Unlike Jack as soon as I felt how thick my diaper was now, I told mom flat out I am not wearing pants with this diaper. Mom agreed and took my pants off of me. I walked up stairs and changed into a blouse and skirt. The skirt was a little shorter than I wanted it to be, but as long as I kept my legs together it would be ok I thought. I came down stairs as Jack was putting the game away. I grabbed my coat and we headed off to the car. When I sat down in the car I noticed my legs were kind of held apart by the diaper. But my skirt rested between my legs so I would be ok. We headed to our Aunt’s house and upon arrival we got out of the car and went in. I sat on the chair in the corner of the room with my legs crossed waiting to see what was going to happen. Mom and Dad were in the kitchen with my Aunt and Uncle talking. Soon she brought out some christmas candy and cookies she had made. The living room was all decorated for Christmas as was the tree. It was so pretty. My Uncle brought us in some kids wine to drink which was pretty much fruit punch. Jack and I drank it down as it was really good and got a refill. Mom said don’t you two drink too much now. My aunt quickly chimed in, it will be ok, the bathroom is right down the hall girls drink up. Mom did not say anything and then asked Dad to bring in the bag. Dad went out and brought in the bag of diapers, wipes etc. and put them in the guest bedroom. Soon I had to pee and relaxed and filled my diaper. This only made my diaper get thicker and spread my legs out more. I could no longer keep my legs crossed. I got up from the chair and sat on the floor with Jack. We laughed and played some games with my Uncle and ate more candy and drank more kids wine. As the night progressed My Aunt and Uncle demanded a family photo and brought out chairs for us to sit on. Jack was to stand beside me sitting on the chair while my Dad and Mom were to stand behind us. As I sat down and Jack went beside us my skirt rode up my leg some. My Aunt snapped the picture of us, and we got up and went and sat back down. Mom asked how I was doing and I said I am ok for now but did go 3 times. Mom stuck her finger down Jack’s diaper and said to let her know if either of us go again. I said ok and Jack agreed. The camera my Aunt was using was an old thing called a polaroid. All I know is the picture comes out of the camera right away and then in a about 5 minutes you can see the picture. It is pretty cool really. My Uncle grabbed the picture off the table and looked at it. He said we might have to retake this one. As he showed it to my Aunt. My aunt looked at the picture and then looked at me. Amanda….are you…..can you come here? I got up and walked over to her. She took me back into the bedroom and showed me the picture. My dress had pulled up so far you could clearly see my diaper and the fact that it was wet. My face turned red. My Aunt said I did not know you were having problems honey. It is ok we will retake this picture ok? I said thank you. My Aunt pulled my skirt up and checked my diaper. She said does Jacquelyn know about this? I said she wears diapers too. My Aunt said oh well ok then….and she walked out of the room. She went into the kitchen and said point blank to my mom, you didn’t tell me both of your daughters were still in diapers? My mom said well I didn’t think you needed to worry about that. My Aunt said she didn’t mean anything mean by it. Just it took her by surprise when this picture developed and she showed my mom the picture looking up my skirt. Mom said yeah, we better retake this one. And that bag I put in your guest room is diapers for the girls. I will need to change them at least once tonight. My Aunt said she would be glad to help if mom needed and she can put our wet diapers in her kitchen trash as it will be taken out tonight anyhow. Mom said ok thank you. Well that was a bit embarrassing but now I don’t need to hide my diaper anymore. I got back up in the chair I was sitting in and this time let my legs stay where they rested no longer caring if people could see my diaper. We turned the TV on for a while and soon I found myself having to pee again. I relaxed and let it out in my diaper. I forgot that mom had told me to tell her when I peed again so I didn’t say a word. Soon my Uncle came in and turned the TV off. He said it is Presents time. I was super excited as was Jack. He told us both to sit on the floor with our legs out so he could put the presents between our legs for us. This of course made my skirt ride way up completely exposing my now really wet diaper. My Aunt said after the presents it looks like a diaper change is needed Amanda. I said ok. At this point I could care less about getting my diaper changed. My Uncle was giving us presents. Jack said oh by the way mom, I just peed again. Mom said ok, you two open your gifts then we will change you. My uncle handed out our gifts to both of us and we opened them. They were awesome. One of my things was something I had wanted for a long time. A necklace that was kind of expensive. Mom must have told them because they got the exact one. I jumped up and gave my uncle and aunt a big hug and kiss on the cheek and told them how happy I was and thanked them. I sat back and opened my other gift. Jack was pretty excited too. We love Christmas. My parents exchanged gifts with my aunt and uncle also and they sat on the couch talking. Without even thinking about it I felt the urge to pee and let it out sitting there on the floor. I looked down and felt my diaper as my Aunt looked up and saw me. She asked if I had just wet again and I said yes. She said I could go change my diaper in the spare room. I looked at her like um…...Mom chimed in that I have only been back in diapers since yesterday and did not know how to put a diaper on. My aunt then offered to change me and i looked at mom and she nodded that it was ok. As I got up to go with my Aunt, my mom asked jack how she was doing...And she responded I am really wet also mommy. Mom asked my Dad to go get a diaper and booster for her and dad said ok. As he came into the room my Aunt was just taking my wet diaper off. Dad took out a diaper for Jack and then had to wait until my aunt was done with me to get the wipes and powder. My Aunt did a really good job actually other than me reminding her to put the booster in the diaper first. I felt much better and went back out into the living room where mom had Jack on the floor naked changing her diaper. Soon we were back to celebrating our first of a few Christmases that week. I ended up conveniently forcing my Mom to keep me in diapers until 3 days before school started back up. Then magically I was able to hold my pee again. Well mostly. I actually did wet the bed one night in my sleep, and on a trip home from the mall one time I made it to the house and peed my jeans waiting for mom to get the key in the lock. Not bad for spending almost two weeks in diapers 24/7 then trying cold Turkey to go back to being out of diapers. The next couple weeks I had a one accident walking home from school, but that was fixed when I just put a note in my locker to remind me to pee before I leave school even if I don’t feel like I have to go. Mom canceled the doctor's appointment she made as other than the one bed wetting and one time walking home from school I was back to normal. Every couple weeks on a Friday night mom would let me wear a diaper to bed, and I would run around Saturday morning in it with Jack. It was kind of like a treat for doing well in school. Other than that I was only allowed to wear a diaper if we went on a long trip somewhere, or to a concert, ball game, etc. Once I turned 18 I had a job working part time and bought my own diapers. Mom said she really did not want me to wear them all the time as it would make me lazy. I told her I understood but it is my life and I am 18 now. Please understand. Mom said but your under my roof. I said ok mom…..So what I ended up doing was wearing diapers to bed every night and in the morning I put them in a plastic bag and stuck them in my backpack to take to school or work with me that morning. On Sundays I would put the wet diaper in the bag up on my closet shelf in the back so it would not be found until I could get it out of the house. This worked for me until summer when I graduated. I did talk my mom into letting me wear a diaper to graduation and she agreed. Summer was not so easy to get away with wearing. I tried to not wear my first night. I could hardly get to sleep with nothing between my legs. And that morning I woke up in a soaked bed that I had to clean up. So my goal now was to figure out how to talk my Mom into letting me wear at least at night. That night I sat Mom and Dad down and said look. Please don’t get upset with me. I am 18 now, and mostly responsible for myself. I have also been wetting the bed more often now than before. I have to wear diapers at night as I am tired of washing my sheets and clothes, and it is raising your water bill too. Dad chimed in right there and said well if you need diapers what is the problem? You have a job buy them. Mom looked at him and said well…..I told her a while ago she was not to wear them, it is going to make her more lazy and she will never get out of them. I said but mommy, it is my problem now and I am sure I will get back out of them soon enough. Dad said honey, it is not hurting anything or anyone and it is saving our washing machine and water bill. Mom reluctantly agreed and said she would say no more about it. She walked in the kitchen and went back to making dinner. Dad winked at me and said happy? I said yes, thank you daddy. He said now go buy yourself some diapers. I said I will right now thanks. I couldn’t tell him I already had a case in my room. Ha Ha. The good thing is now when I order them online I can have them shipped to my house instead of to the fedEx store for me to have to pick up. Diapers make my life so much easier and less stressful. I have a feeling Jack will be in diapers also for a very long time.
  9. Roommates

    At long last I was starting college. No more of the oppressive rules I had to grow up with. No more being punished for something I could not help. I started to unpack before my new roommate got here. My mother had just left and I had to be good, as I did not want her to expose my secrets to the dorm. I pulled all my clothes out of my trunk and started hanging them in my closet. Then I took my supply of Depends out of the bags and put them in the trunk. You see, I wet the bed. This has been the source of many problems over the years and I want to keep it hidden. I then took a combination lock and locked the trunk. Now that my secret was hidden, at least until that night I arranged the rest of my room and got every thing organized. I did not want to argue with my new roommate, so I took the smaller desk and I set up my laptop. I checked that I could connect to the network and thus satisfied, I arranged my textbooks on the shelf above my bed. It was a small room, but I had only brought some clothes and my computer, so I was in good shape. I then made my bed. There was a plastic sheet on my bed and I bit my lip, embarrassed. "Did my mother tell them about my problem?" I thought. I glanced over to my roommate's bed. She had just stopped in, threw her stuff on the bed and went to the bookstore. "No, her bed has a plastic sheet too. They must have put them on all the dorm beds." I lay on top of my bed and stared at the stuff on hers. She had 4 boxes, 2 suitcases, and what looked like some computer equipment. She was still getting raped by the bookstore. I had some time. Maybe I should just peek in her suitcases. No, I would not do that. What if she looked through my stuff? I would not like that. During the brief period of time I saw her, (when we were assigned our room and she brought her stuff from her car) she asked me if I would go to Wal-Mart with her. I lay on my bed waiting for her. Her parents had taken her to breakfast before she went to get her textbooks. My mother took me straight to the bookstore after I unloaded my stuff. I did not argue with her as I had time to unpack. I was wearing jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. It was rather hot and I would rather be wearing less. However, I was embarrassed to not be covered more because of some things that happened back home. Since I started wetting the bed my mother made me wear diapers at night. I did not mind too much because it was more comfortable then sleeping in wet sheets. However as I got older, the punishments got worse. When I got to the age that the other girls were starting to shave their legs, my mother said I couldn't until I stopped wetting the bed. I got teased from that time until I graduated. I had some nicknames like Butch Beth and Harry-legged Liz. I also was never allowed to have makeup. When I started high school, on days that I wet the bed, I had to wear diapers starting when I got home from school. I did get a reprieve during times when we were out of the house, but when we got home again it was back in diapers for me. So today, I am not wearing diapers. I will tonight, but I need them tonight. I want to go to Wal-Mart today, so I can get some razors and stuff and finally be able to compete with other girls for boyfriends. The bedwetting thing will hurt my chances, but I do not think I can handle being called Betsy Wetsy and Butch Beth. I grabbed my computer and started playing Solitaire. I was on my 4th game when the door opened suddenly. My new roommate walked in with an armload of books and dumped them on her desk. She waved goodbye to her parents and closed the door. "Hi," I managed to stutter. "Sorry, I had no time to get introduced earlier," she said smiling. "I'm Vikki." "And I'm Elisabeth," I said. "You can call me Beth, if you do not prefix it with anything." "Oops, bad high school nickname, huh? Well I got to get unpacked, then we can catch the bus to Wal-Mart," she said. "How do you know where everything is?" I asked. "My older brother just graduated from here last year," she answered, "He told me where everything is." I lay down and started thumbing through one of my textbooks while she unpacked. She hung up all her clothes and pulled a TV out of one of the boxes and set it on here desk. She also set up her computer. The other boxes she just stacked on the floor of her closet. I did not get to see their contents. She booted up her computer, and with some minor swearing, got it onto the network and then checked the bus schedule. "Okay, its 15 minutes until the next bus." She glanced at my long sleeved shirt and jeans. "You have time to put on something a little more suited to the weather." "No, I am fine," I said. "Aren't you hot in that?" she asked me. "Yes, but I will change into something cooler, when we get back from Wal-Mart." "Okay, suit yourself," she said, "It gets hot here." We caught the bus and headed down to the Wal-Mart. I stocked up on chips and pretzels and then went to the beauty supplies. I headed over to the razors and grabbed some shaving cream and disposable razors and threw them in my cart. I then went to the make up area and selected some various items. "Girl, that is the wrong color for you!" Vikki said. "What do you mean?" I asked. "Isn't lipstick supposed to be red?" "Well it depends on the person, but I guarantee that bright red lipstick does not go well with bright red hair. The eye shadow you picked clashes with your green eyes. Here get these instead." She selected similar items of more suitable colors. Here I was exposed as a make up buying rookie. The next thing I know she will find out about how hairy I am. I had to get prettied up. If I continued to be ugly and a bed wetter both, no one would ever like me. Vikki was nice so far. I hoped she would continue to be nice if she found out my secret. We got what we needed and headed back to the bus stop. We took the bus back to the dorm and went to our room. As I was unlocking the door, Vikki whispered desperately in my ear, "Hurry up! I really got to pee." I opened the door and she fled past me into the bathroom. I gathered my bathroom stuff together to take a shower and added in my new shaving cream and razors. Then I put the other stuff I bought away. I carefully stocked the refrigerator with the computer scientist's secret weapon: Mountain Dew. I knew I shouldn't drink it with the bedwetting, but not being allowed to drink sodas all these years did not make a difference one way or another in the number of night time accidents. She came out and said, "Hey, lets get a pizza!" "I am okay with a pizza, but can't we do it later, I need a shower now," I said. "Sure, go ahead," she said. "You look all sweaty. I told you to put on shorts." "I will be awhile," I said. "Are you sure you don't need anything in there?" "No, it is all yours," she said. "Go for it." I grabbed my stuff and headed for the bathroom. I peeled of the sweaty layers of clothes and got naked. "Goodbye, Butch Beth," I said and stepped in the shower. After washing, I smeared shaving cream all over my legs and pulled out one of my razors. I then started shaving. I never realized how hard it was. I never had a father to watch how he shaves his face, and women always shave their legs in the shower, so there is never an audience. I shaved off a big chunk of skin the first time. Then after a few nicks, I got the hang of it. I made it through with no fewer than five nicks and the big cut. Then I had to shave the other leg. This time it was easier. I got it done with only one knick. I was then done. I then looked down at my under arms. How was I supposed to shave those? After twisting myself like a pretzel I got into the right position and finally finished. I rinsed off and inspected myself for missed spots. Satisfied, I said, "Goodbye Butch Beth, Hello Pretty Beth." I smiled and then blushed. I hoped Vikki didn't hear me say that. I slid on the non-granny panties and matching bra I got at Wal-Mart and then put a little sleeveless number and khaki shorts on. I had them both and wore them a few times before, but I was always teased when I did so, so I stopped. Now with a few passes with a razor, I looked pretty, not ridicules. I cleaned up the bottom of the shower, which was now a hairy mess, and got every thing gathered up. My self-esteem was rising. I then tried to dab the bloody spot with some toilet paper. It was still bleeding a bit, but it was mostly stopped. It was worth it I thought. I came out and put my stuff away. "Did you just cut yourself in there?" Vikki asked. Does she notice everything? She problem guessed I am a leg-shaving rookie too. And she problem will find out about the bedwetting. This is too close of quarters to hide. What am I going to do? "I cut it a little bit," I answered, "Its stopped now." "Just be careful," she said, "Now I am ready for that pizza." We ate pizza and watched TV all afternoon. We also ran around the dorms meeting people and having fun until bedtime. I got separated from Vikki, and it was late anyway, so I went back to my room. I would have to figure out how to keep my secret a secret. How could I open my trunk and grab a diaper out and put it on without Vikki noticing. If I could get a five minute head start at getting to the room... I open the door and went in. I then notice Vikki had a diaper in her hands. Quickly I closed the door and went to confront her. She snooped through my stuff. My plans of keeping my bedwetting a secret were dashed to the ground. I was in shock. I went up to her and snatched the diaper away from her. "How did you get in my trunk?" I yelled. "You looked through my stuff. I hate you." I turned and ran into the bathroom where I fell to the floor and started balling. What is she going to think? I need diapers and still ball like a baby. My brand new make up was running down my face and now the whole campus would know in a matter of minutes that I wet the bed and wear diapers. Classes hadn't even started yet. Just now she was probably going down the hall waving my diapers around saying, "My roommate wears Depends! Look!" "Let me in!" I heard outside the bathroom door. I was still sobbing. If Vikki thinks I will forgive her... "Give it back!" I heard her yell. "Give what back?" I choked out through sobs. "My thing you took," she said in a lower tone of voice. I slowly opened the door. Her face was bright red. She seemed to be embarrassed. "Give it back," she said pointing at the diaper. "So you can show everyone in the dorm what you found in your roommate's trunk," I said, "I thought we were friends." "I don't know what you are talking about. I am certainly not going to show anyone," she said. "Fine. How did you get in my trunk?" I asked. "It was locked." "Are you saying you have diapers in your stuff too?" she asked. She seemed to feel a little better. "Yeah," I mumbled. I looked down at the floor. "See these are mine." she said. She showed me one of the boxes in her closet. It had two bags of Depends in it. One was open. I opened my trunk. My diapers seemed to be intact. "I guess I owe you an apology. I was trying so hard to hide my night time problem, that when I saw you with one, I only assumed it was mine and the whole campus would find out. I thought you would be mean to me too." "Well I guess there is no harm," she said. "At least we don't have to hide it from each other. I might have reacted the same way if I caught you with a diaper in your hand." I grabbed one of my own diapers. "Well we should get these on for bed then," I suggested. We our are diapers on the comfortable way. We put them on while lying in bed, instead of standing in the bathroom trying to get the tapes right. "Do you think the put the plastic sheet on our beds because we are both bedwetters?" I asked. "No," Vikki answered, "All the beds in the dorm have plastic on them. It's not just for wetters. People drink and puke on them and spill stuff. No one will think that." "Oh, I didn't think about that." "So tell me, was today the first time you shaved your legs or wore makeup?" "Um, yes." "I thought so," she said smiling as she reached to turn off the light. "No one could pick such horrendous colors or cut themselves that many times without being a newbie." "I would have, but my mother wouldn't let me until I stopped wetting the bed. I got called horrible names, like Butch Beth." "I don't think you look butch at all," she said, "I got called Icky Vikki all the time because I had an accident or two a year." "I've been there. I once wet on stage at state choir competition. Even even the choir director called me Betsy Wetsy. My name was Betsy Wetsy in the program for the next concert." "Ouch," said Vikki. "My mother would have put me in diapers for a week during the day as punishment for that." "Yours too?" I asked. "At least you could do things to be pretty. I had to wear shorts or dresses with hairy legs. I got teased left and right." "I am glad you are my room mate," Vikki said. "I am glad you are my room mate too," I repeated. "By the way, when we have exams, we should wear protection. There are no bathroom breaks during exams," Vikki said. "Well lets get some sleep," I said. "Okay, good night."
  10. The Weird Scholarship

    The Weird Scholarship Chapter One: The Drive I drove down the highway with one hand held between my legs. I had to pee and being stuck in a car didn't help. A sign up ahead said that the next rest area was only fifteen miles up ahead and I could certainly hold it. It was just a bit uncomfortable and I didn't know what I would do when I got there. My phone rang and I answered it. I know you are not supposed to talk and drive, but at least I wasn't texting. I looked at the screen and saw it was my best friend Kara. “How's the drive?” “Weird,” I said. “I'm almost to Massachusetts though.” “Good timing,” she said. “What's weird about it?” “You know.” She very well did know why I felt weird. This was her plan. “I'm wearing a diaper.” “You better be, Nora,” said Kara. “You don't want to be found out as a faker and lose your scholarship.” “Yeah,” I said. “That's the problem. I'm not really incontinent. They are going to find out.” Kara giggled on the other end of the phone. “No they're not. Just act natural.” I rubbed myself in the thick padded material between my legs with my phone to keep from peeing. I then picked the phone up and said, “This is not natural.” “Well, get used to wetting yourself,” she said. “You probably should show up in a wet diaper. That way you won't look like a faker to the other girls who are used to wetting their diapers.” “Why did I let you talk me into this?” I asked. “You got a scholarship to MIT. The IRS took your college money, remember? This is your last chance to go to college.” I sighed. “Goodbye, Kara.” “Bye. And trust me about arriving in a wet diaper.” I hung up. I don't understand how things got so weird. My father had saved enough in my college fund to pay for all four years of school. So my junior year of high school, I didn't really need to bother with scholarships. When we had to go to the library to research scholarships, Kara suggested I choose the weirdest scholarships. There were actually scholarships for people who entered a program to study yodeling. Like I could get a job doing that. There was also a scholarship for incontinent girls who were studying engineering at MIT. That was a pretty specific scholarship and it was a perfect target for my entertainment during library time. So when the IRS investigated my father, somehow my college fund was where they though he was hiding the money. It was the summer before college and I had no money. The only scholarships I had applied for were for yodeling majors and for incontinent girls studying engineering at MIT. The scholarship was generous. It paid for everything I needed for college. I remember getting the phone call where I was given the scholarship. “Is Nora Stevens there,” the woman on the phone had asked. “This is Nora.” “This is Elizabeth Jones from the scholarship selection committee. I am pleased to inform you that you are next on the list for the Scholarship for Incontinent Girls in Engineering.” My mouth was opened in shock. I had though my college dreams were over since I lost my college fund. I was in until her next line. “The other girl didn't measure up. She was faking incontinence just to get the scholarship. I made this scholarship so incontinent girls can have the full college experience. That includes living in the dorms. To do that we want to make sure that we pair you with another girl in the dorm that is in your same situation. Will this be a problem for you?” “No problem,” I said. “Good. We are having a summer camp to get to know the other girls. Attendance is mandatory.” Kara had laughed and laughed when I told her, but she had been a big help in getting me adult diapers. They do sell diapers in stores, but the kind that real incontinent people wear are only found online and I had to order some ahead of time. The rest area came up soon after the sign that said that I was entering Massachusetts. I almost stopped, but then I thought about what Kara said. An incontinent girl would show up in a wet diaper. To be convincing, I would do the same. I relaxed and pretended I was siting on the toilet, even though I was sitting behind the wheel of my Ford Fiesta. I still had to keep my eye on the road. As I started to wet, it was so warm as the wetness spread around my crotch and under my bottom. The first time I wet the diaper, I was surprised it felt good. This was the first time I had tried to wet while sitting down. The first time I wet a diaper I was standing. Both times, I was shocked at how good it felt. I looked back at the rest stop through the rear-view mirror. The rest area, like my toilet training, was behind me. Chapter Two: Fitting in with the Group I drove my car into Cambridge and then followed the directions I was given previously. I pulled into the lot near Kesge Auditorium and right away I saw the group I was looking for. They were not hard to miss. The parking lot was empty except for a livery van and four cars. Five college age girls and two women stood around the van. I pulled in and got out. “Are you Nora?” a woman asked me. She looked like she was forty. She wore mom jeans and a T-shirt. “Yes,” I said. I opened the back door of my car and got my bags, a pillow, and my sleeping bag. I had brought two bags. One was usually sufficient for camping, but not for this trip. The extra bag was my diaper bag. I grabbed my stuff in both arms and took them toward the van. “I think I have everything I need.” “Good. You're the last one, so let's get going. You can put your stuff in the back of the van.” She open the rear door and I piled my stuff in there. I opened the diaper bag and pulled out a book and then looked down at my clean diapers. The wet diaper I had on had stopped feeling warm and good and I felt that I could use a change. “Do I have time to run to the bathroom real quick?” I leaned closer to her. “I'm wet.” The other older woman heard me. She looked at a brown haired girl. “Are you wet, Darla?” She actually put her hand under the girl's skirt to check. She pulled away. “No, mother. I'm fine. You don't have to do that. I'm starting college now. I know if I am wet or need a change.” “I'm your mother and I care about you. You don't want to get a rash like last time, do you?” “Mother, stop! I'm going to camp now.” She walked around and picked a seat in the van. The woman, not Darla's mother, leaned in and whispered to me. “Do you think we can get by another hour? I think Darla's feeling a bit of pressure to get on the road.” I nodded. When Kara and I were testing, she had me try to make a diaper leak. I hadn't been able to before the thing got so soggy I had to take it off. I had had to wet three times to get to that point. “I think so.” “Good. Then we got to go.” She led me in through the sliding door of the van and I took a seat beside a bored looking girl with a sarcastic nerd phrase on her shirt. She wore black cargo jeans with all kinds of metal hanging from them. She turned to the other woman. “Mrs. Keene, we need to get going.” “Sure. Have a good time, Darla, and listen to Miss. Jones.” The girl Darla just glared as Miss Jones closed the sliding door and walked around to the driver's seat. While she was gone, the girl next to me whispered, “My God, it's like she is a five year old going to her first sleep-away camp.” “So I wasn't the only one who thought that was uncomfortable?” I asked. “Hardly,” said the girl, “at least she was standing up to her mother and not crying as she drove away.” She just pointed her thumb behind her to a girl wearing a pale blue and plaid bib overalls. She was dabbing her eyes with a Kleenex. The girl wore her short blond hair in pig tales. In her left arm she held a battered teddy bear. “So what's your story?” Before I could answer, Miss Jones hopped in the drivers seat and started the van. She put the van in gear and started to drive out of parking lot. “Girls,” she said. “I am Elizabeth Jones, but you can call me Bets. I am the scholarship coordinator and founder of the Scholarship for Incontinent Girls in Engineering. I like to have this camp for several reasons. Mainly so you can get to know each other and find out who you want to be your roommate. There are six of you, so you can pair off during camp. The other reason is, unfortunately, to screen out people who are liars. I had to replace one girl who was not even incontinent. I thought Nora was more deserving of the scholarship.” At this point we had driven off campus and onto the main road. “So get to know each other during this week. How about introducing yourself to each other as we drive to the camp.” She stopped talking to concentration driving and we started talking. “Well, I am glad to be on the road,” said Darla. “You don't know what it's like to live with a woman that treats you like a toddler every minute of the day. I'm eighteen now. I am finally independent.” “We're supposed to be introducing ourselves, Mommy's Girl, not whining about our childhoods,” said the girl next to me. “That's really mean,” said Darla. “I am tired of being teased about my incontinence. Having a mother who is not so discrete about it means everyone in high school knew. I just want to move on. I want to experience stuff. That is what college is for. This scholarship is great. I worried about college and having to hide my diapers from my roommate, but if my roommate also needs diapers I can keep it a secret. My name is Darlene Keene and I am excited about studying engineering at MIT.” “Darlene, not Darla?” I asked. “Darla is my toddler name. I am eighteen and I am an adult. I am Darlene. I have a medical condition called incontinence that I can manage as an adult. I don't need my overprotective mother to change me.” The girl with the teddy bear sat beside Darlene. She spoke up. It was the first time she said anything. “I've never changed myself before. I'm a bit overwhelmed. I've never been so far away from my mommy before.” The girl next to me snickered, but the girl ignored her. “My name is Melody.” Her voice was soft and quiet. “I don't really have friends, so I don't know what to expect. I was home schooled. I scored perfect on the ACT.” In the rear seat, a girl spoke up. “I'm Veronica English. I'm just as normal as anyone else, or I was until the accident. Some drunk ran into my car when I first got my license. It wasn't fair. The drunk doesn't have to wear diapers. That would be fitting justice. Instead, he only got thirty days in jail. I have to spend the rest of my life in diapers.” She pounded her fists on the seat beside her. “My boyfriend took someone else to prom. He was too embarrassed to be with me. I entered my application for the scholarship that day. Ironically, the next day was the last day to get the scholarship application in the mail.” “My name is Bella,” said her neighbor who had just looked up from a book. She wore all black. Even her nail polish and lipstick was black. “People already though I was weird, so knowing about my diapers really didn't change things. I like dressing in black and reading about vampires.” She picked up her book and started to read. “A girl named Bella who reads books about vampires? Can you get more cliché than that?” said the girl next to me. “I'm surprised she doesn't sparkle in the sunlight.” She started laughing at her own joke. Bella looked up. “I'm reading Anne Rice, not that stupid Stephanie Meyer woman. Lestat and Louie would feel sorry for vampires that sparkle in the sun. My mother liked the name Bella. I was born way before Twilight even was heard of. Why don't you tell us about yourself, Loudmouth, instead of teasing us. You pee your pants like the rest of us.” “Fine. My name is Cassie. I am majoring in engineering at MIT. I've dreamed of coming to MIT all my life. I want to fully experience college.” She looked at me. I hadn't introduced myself yet. “From hearing you talk, you wouldn't even know you were incontinent. What gives?” asked Bella. “You're not telling us about yourself.” “I told you my name and my vision. I'm done.” “Cassie doesn't have to say why she wears diapers,” I said. “My promised college fund went away, so I thought I couldn't go to college. I was going to go to Alpen-adria-univeritat Klagenfurt to pursue a yodeling major, but thanks to this scholarship, I will actually get to major in a marketable skill.” I looked around. I was being stared at. I gave a nervous giggle. “Plus, I don't have to explain my special underpants to a roommate. I'm Nora Stevens. I don't have a middle name. Is that weird or what?” I faced forward and looked in my book. Cassie slid next to me. “Why did you turn down a chance to study in Austria?” Her voice was quiet like she didn't want the other girls to hear. “I was living with a family who had a real daughter who was studying in Europe. She was so pretty and she came home to visit for Christmas. She had so many experiences.” She looked across me out the window and sighed. “That was my favorite family.” “Um, yodeling,” I said. That was all the answer I thought I needed to give. I wondered what she meant by having a favorite family. I thought you only got one. “I never thought I could even get into MIT.” She smiled at me. “I hit the jackpot here.” She shifted her legs closed and closed her eyes like she needed to pee. She didn't get the blank stare Kara said I got went I wet a diaper. Chapter Three: The Public Change About noon, we stopped at a McDonald's. I had wet my diaper a second time, which made the pee not feel so clammy, but I wanted a fresh diaper. We all grabbed our diaper bags and stood outside the van as Bets lock it up. “Okay. Here is the plan. Cassie, Nora, and Melody will go into the bathroom and change. Veronica, Bella, and Darlene and I will order our food. When you come out, we will go change while you order your food. Then we will eat together.” I looked at Cassie and Melody. Melody looked back at Bets. She looked like she wanted to say something, but was too shy. Cassie walked toward the building. I grabbed Melody's hand and pulled her with me as I followed. We got inside and Cassie and I took the first two stalls. I thought I heard Melody go into the third stall, but I wasn't sure. I pulled down my pants and looked down at my wet diaper. It was really wet in the back since I sat while wetting. I peeled off the tapes and rolled it up, then wiped myself off with baby wipes. Once finished, I put on the diaper like I had practiced by leaning against the wall of the stall. I got it on semi-decently. I listened as Cassie changed. I heard the toilet flushing, and then heard the rustling of a diaper. We came out together. Melody stood waiting for us holding a diaper. She pushed the diaper to Cassie. “Can you please change me?” “I'm not changing your smelly butt,” said Cassie. “Can't you change yourself? We did it,” I said. “My mommy always changed me. I don't know what to do.” She held the diaper to me. I sighed. “I guess I can help you.” She pulled the diaper change table down and then tried to unhook her overalls. She had trouble. They opened easily to me. Once her pants were down, she lay on the table. Her diaper was swollen. Unlike my purple diaper, hers was white, but it had blocks across the front. I thought my diaper was thick. “Guard the door,” I told Cassie. I didn't want any strangers seeing this. I untaped the college woman's diaper and then cleaned her with a wipe. For her part, Melody lay still and stared at the ceiling. I put the clean diaper under her and then powdered her. I then closed it and taped it up. The tapes on her diaper sucked, but they got the job done. Once she was diapered she stood up and pulled up her pants and then motioned for me to do up her overalls. “Thank you,” she said. “We are going to have to teach you to do this yourself,” I said. “Why can't you get your overalls undone? What do you do when you poop?” asked Cassie. “Mommy takes me to the potty when I have to poop.” “I knew everyone would be in diapers, but she's a fucking baby,” snarled Cassie. “Didn't your mother teach you anything?” “Don't call me a baby,” she said. “I am a big girl.” “You're not a baby. You just let your mother do too many things for you. We better teach you to do things yourself before classes start” I knew I shouldn't have promised. I knew I would regret it. It's hard enough pretending to be incontinent without being a mommy. I just didn't want to be around her if she couldn't learn discretion before classes started. Cassie just rolled her eyes. We walked out to get food. It wasn't real food; it was McDonald's food. I ordered a vanilla milkshake and a Double Quarter Pounder. I supersized it too. Since I am lactose intolerant, I was an idiot, but I thought it wouldn't matter. Ugh. At least Cassie had hers coming. She ordered the same thing as me. I should have had a happy meal like Melody. Chapter Four: Bonding with Cassie. We arrived at the camp just after one. I got up and looked around. The camp consisted of four log cabins that sat on the edge of a forest. A simple gravel track ran between the cabins and a large meadow. We pulled right up to the cabin and we unloaded stuff. The first thing I did when we had everything offloaded into the cabin was make my bed. The cabin was smallish, but much larger than we needed. Bunk beds lined the back wall. There were about ten of them. A twin bed sat near the door. Of course Bets claimed that one. I was surprised that many of the girls openly put their packs of diapers at the foot of their beds. I shrugged and put my diaper back in that location. I didn't even bother to zip it. I claimed one on the edge, but Cassie took the one next to me. She said she didn't want to be near Melody who had taken a bunk in the center. It was funny. Everyone picked bottom bunks. I didn't know why, but that is how it was. I wondered why. My guess was that if an incontinent girl shared a bunk bed, the other sibling would get the top in case their were any leaks. No one wants a golden shower in their sleep. When we were all unpacked, Bets called a meeting. We gathered around. She passed out sheets of paper. I looked at mine and saw we had an agenda. I sighed. It wasn't bad. There were nature hikes, a swimming session at the lake, and sports. I hated sports. There was also free time as well. “So I have lots of activities planned,” said Bets. “We need to get to know one another. I am Bets. I started a scholarship so that girls with incontinence. When I studied engineering at MIT, I was alone. I was embarrassed about having to share a dorm room and explain to my roommate that I had a wetting problem. She teased me and never wanted to hang out. She kept my secret, but I felt like someone who only lived in the same room as me. I wanted a roommate who knew what incontinence was like. I realized that only another incontinent girl would make a good roommate. That's why we are here. We want you to pick a college roommate who you can bond with. There are six of you and that means we have three dorm rooms to fill. You will spend lots of time with your new roommate, so here at camp, I want you to spend time with each of your fellow freshmen engineers. Any questions?” “Um, what's with the swimming?” asked Veronica. “It's stupid. I can't swim anymore. We're incontinent. How's that even going to work?” “I like to swim,” said Melody. “My mommy sent some swim diapers.” “I'm not wearing swim diapers. You can't hide them under a bikini,” said Veronica. “There are many ways to deal with swimming,” said Bets. “Swim diapers are one of them. I have plenty of extra swim diapers for those who don't have any. I usually just wear my regular diaper under soccer shorts though. We are here at this campground where there is a beautiful lake just to the south of us.” “That's what I do,” said Bella. “No one really knows. They do swell a bit though.” “We are going swimming tomorrow,” said Bets. “We will all enjoy it. We have the campground to ourselves, so no one is going to see you in your diapers. That is final. I won't insist that you change your swimming habits. Besides, when are you going to have a chance to swim again.” I was disappointed. Out of habit, I had brought a bikini. I did think about the diapers. I would never be able to swim again. I was upset because I looked good in a bikini. “You guys are just so stupid,” said Darleen. “Stop arguing. It's not important. We are here to bond. Let's not get into an argument about one activity.” “Very good, Darleen,” said Bets. It took an entire hour to get through the agenda. Cassie started fidgeting. My stomach started to cramp and I knew I would have to poop soon. I shifted uncomfortably as well. Some of the girls told long stories. I was in pain. I looked around and then at my watch. I saw Cassie relax. Her face looked blank like she was peeing. She got a scared look on her face and struggled to her knees. “Bathroom,” she squeaked. Everyone stared at her. Was she a faker? I had to go bad as well. We would both get sent home if I revealed myself. “Do you need a diaper change?”ask Bets. She looked a mix of concerned and suspicious. “No,” she whispered. “Yes. I--” She stood and held a hand tightly on the back of her black pants. She ran out the door. “What happened?” asked Melody. I got up. “If she feels like me, she really has to poop.” I grabbed her diaper bag and mine. “Where is the bathroom? I'll find her.” “Oh, yeah,” said Bets. “I should have mentioned that. It's right behind cabin one. None of us are bowel incontinent this year.” I ran out the door to follow Cassie. She was going the wrong way. “Cassie.” She looked at me. “This way,” I said. She came back in my direction and we looked around. I spotted cabin one and we walked around to the back. The bathroom was just around the corner. I was ahead of Cassie and spotted the bathroom. My heart sunk when I saw it. It was a tiny wooden building with a moon carved in the door. It leaned to one side at a ten degree angle. I looked back at Cassie. She had her knees pressed together and she was hobbling by moving just the bottoms of her legs. “I'm not going to make it.” She just stopped. I heard a squishy fart. There wasn't much smell because the diaper blocked most of it. “Come on,” I told her. I needed to go bad as well. “I...,” she said. I saw her almost fall and like an idiot, I rushed forward to catch her. She clung to my neck and hung on me as she bent over and I heard the squishy farting noise again. “Oh God,” she said. I had thought she was just farting, but she really stunk. She had just filled her diaper. Her weight pushed me down a few inches. I lost control myself and made a mess in my diaper as well. I knew I shouldn't have had the milkshake. Usually I would go to the bathroom right away, but I was distracted by needed to change my diaper in McDonald's and dealing with two other girls. We stood together hugging each other as we emptied our bowels in our underpants. It had gone too far. I wondered if it was too late to take up yodeling. I would go to Bets, come clean and give up this nonsense. I was done. “I can't believe I did that,” said Cassie. “I've never had an accident since I was ten.” I looked at her. “I mean pooped my pants,” she said. “This sucks.” She let go of me. “What are we going to do?” “I guess we get changed. I brought our diaper bags.” “Well, we are supposed to be bonding,” she said. “Have you ever changed a messy diaper? What should I do?” “To be honest, I don't have any experience with this.” I looked at the bathroom and started for it. I would get some water and paper towels so I could clean myself. However, when I opened the door, there was only a wooden plank with a hole in the middle. I let the door shut and turned back to Cassie. “What?” she asked. “It's just an outhouse. We need a shower.” “Or a hose,” she said. “At least it's contained in my diaper.” It wasn't running down my legs yet. “Me too, buy I am afraid it will leak any minute. Let's go back and get Bets. She'll know what to do.” “No way,” said Cassie. “I am not going into a room with a bunch of dorks and admitting I just filled my pants. I never should have had that milkshake in McDonald's. It's just McDonald's shakes that make me almost shit my pants.” “Almost?” I asked. “Well, until now,” she said. I opened my diaper bag and took inventory. There were diapers, some powder, and a box of wipes. I didn't really stock it with a lot of necessities being unsure what I needed. I looked at Cassie. “I don't know what to do either. There is no room to change in the outhouse. Hell, there is no running water. Let's just admit our mistake and go tell Bets.” “I got a better idea,” said Cassie. “How about we go skinny dipping?” That was a weird suggestion and just came out of no where. Sure, I'd like a swim, but I had to deal with my accident. I gave her a questioning look. “No, really. We go down to the lake, strip naked, and wash this mess off of us. Bets said there was a lake to the south of us.” “We can't wash in the lake. We'll contaminate it.” I could imagine the next day having to swim in the same water I washed my poopy ass with. That would sure go over well. “Just come on.” Cassie walked or rather waddled ahead of me. She looked into the woods and stopped, but then she saw started forward. I wasn't about to just charge into the woods, but Cassie found a dirt trail and we headed straight into the woods. I think we walked around. The mess was spreading throughout my diaper and I imagined that some was running down the back of my leg. I touched the back of my jeans, but nothing felt wet. I continued to follow for about twenty minutes, when we crossed a little foot bridge across a creek. We turned following the bank of the creek until we found a lake. The lake was pretty big. Cassie walked down from toward the lake and was about to undo her pants when I saw a sign that said the swimming area was around the lake a bit. “The swimming area is around here.” Cassie reluctantly buttoned her pants and we walked the short area to a swimming area complete with a sand beach and a little building at the top of sand. The building had two signs: one said men and the other said women. It was dressing rooms. “Ooh, there might be showers in there.” She hurried forward, not even waddling anymore. I followed as best I could. Inside, it was indeed a dressing room. Even though we were inside, there was plenty of light. I looked up and there was no ceiling. A line of bathroom stalls sat at one wall and sinks occupied another. In one corner was a shower room. Inside was just a pole with a bunch of shower heads like I was used to from gym class in high school. The edge of the room were surrounded by benches for changing. Cassie slipped out of her shirt and bra faster than she could have with help from a high school jock. She kicked her sandals off, but her pants took longer as she didn't want to have her diaper leak when she was getting them undone. She flung her clothes onto one of the benches and looked down to examine the diaper. I didn't envy her and although my description seems like it, I didn't just stand there and watch her change. I was undressed soon after she was. I was caught off guard by examining the seat of my pants. My diaper had leaked and there was an obvious stain at the back of my right leg. I sighed and threw the pants on the floor beneath the bench where my clean clothes were. I then untaped my diaper and slowly lowered it and then pulled it into a loose ball. Cassie kicked a trash barrel toward me and I dropped it in on top of her diaper. She started toward the shower and was about to turn it on when I said, “Wouldn't it suck if the water isn't turned on?” The look on her face was priceless, especially since she was naked and her but and thighs were smeared with poop. “Don't you dare think that,” she cried. She reached the handle to the faucet and gave it a turn. The pipe groaned a bit, but then water started flowing and she adjusted the temperature and stepped under the water. I took a spot on the other side and turned on my faucet. The water felt so good after being dirty for so long. It felt so weird not having soap. I did not feel clean at all when I finished. I knew I was better then when I started. Water and scrubbing work wonders, but it's not the same as soap, especially when I was cleaning poop of myself. We finished and I reached in my diaper bag to pull out a clean diaper. Cassie put a hand on my wrist. “Wait,” she said, “Let's go skinny dipping since we are here.” “But..,” I started to object. “What if I wet?” She smiled. “We will be outside and naked. You can't get wet except from the lake water. If you pee on the beach or in the lake, who will know?” At least she believed I was incontinent. I really wasn't like a lot of the other girls here. Cassie was being pretty cool to me. I just wished she didn't bully the other girls so bad. “Okay, but only for thirty minutes.” We walked naked to the lakes to begin our swim. The water was cool and the sun was hot. I had never been skinny dipping before. It was so much fun. Chapter Five: Facing the Music When we dressed, I could not wear my pants. I washed them in the lake, but I couldn't get the stain out without a washing machine. “I guess you have to walk back pantsless.” She giggled. “It's not funny. I was not counting on messing my pants. This has never happened to me. Ever.” I did not remember a time I had messed myself. I remember the day I wet my pants in kindergarten and again in second grade. I don't remember pooping myself. “It's that stupid milkshake from McDonald's. I'm lactose intolerant but I like to eat ice cream. So far it hasn't caused any problems. Sure, I get the runs, but I always make it to the bathroom for that.” “Well if it makes a difference,” said Cassie, “I messed myself bad when I was ten. I kept telling Lorraine I had to go, but she ignored me. Suddenly I couldn't hold it anymore.” “Who's Lorraine?” I asked. “She was a lady I lived with then. I didn't like her. She raised German Shepherds. I was afraid of them. I'm glad they took me away from her.” She smiled and finished her story. “She was so mad too. I had to ride in the back of the pickup and then when we went home. She then took me into the yard and stripped me and hosed me off with the hose. She wouldn't even let me get dressed or dried off. She just put me in one of the empty dog crates and I had to stay in there for a week until the social worker came and took me away from her.” “Cassie, that's terrible. I hope she got in big trouble for doing that. She should have been more understanding because of your incontinence.” She got a panicked look. “Oh that was before that. I am an adult now and CPS doesn't get to decide who I should live with. I am eighteen now and I'm going to study engineering at MIT.” I wondered if everyone on this trip was dysfunctional. Cassie was the only one I got to really know so far, but Veronica seem very angry, Darleen had an overprotective mother, and there was Melody: the girl who never grew up. Only Bella seemed normal, but maybe that was because I hadn't gotten to know what kind of baggage she carried around. “We better hurry back. They might think we got lost.” “No. They'll just know we decided to ditch those losers. You and me, we are different then the others. I can feel that we have more in common than the others.” “Yeah, we both can't control our bowels. The other girls just have wetting problems.” I turned to Cassie. “They are never going to let us live this down.” “Sure they are,” said Cassie. “We just got hot. Diapers are hot in this weather, so we went for a dip in the lake. No further questions. We walked back up the hill to the cabin and when we emerged from the trailhead at the edge of the woods, everything was quiet. When we left, we could hear the girls and Bets talking in the cabin. Now it was silent. Cassie opened the door and I followed her in. I looked around and noticed the other girls weren't there, except for one girl who let out a squeak. I looked at the source of the sound. Bella was lying on a bunk changing her diaper. “I didn't know you were coming in,” she said. She finished taping her diaper and grabbed her shorts and pulled them on. She looked at me and Cassie and then shook her head. “You two are in big trouble.” “What for?” asked Cassie. “You wandered from the group. You two were supposed to come right back after using the restroom.” Bella picked up her vampire book and walked to the door. “Where were you?” “We went for a swim,” said Cassie. “It's hot.” “Well anyway, everyone else is at lunch in the dining hall. It's that brick building across the meadow. You should come. You two need to face the music anyway, and besides there is lunch.” Bella led the way across the meadow and we followed. “So why were you in the cabin by yourself?” asked Cassie. “I didn't want to leak in my pants. I changed.” She looked pointedly at me for my lack of pants. I blushed and ran in the cabin and grabbed some shorts before returning. I caught up right as they got to the door of the dining hall. Chapter Seven: The Punishment When Cassie and I entered the cafeteria, everyone got quiet. I knew that did not bode well. I knew it was even worse when Bets stood up and almost glared at us. “Cassie, I need to have a word with you in the other room.” She looked at me. “I will deal with you after I deal with Cassie.” She turned and walked toward the kitchen, but turned and waited for Cassie who, with reluctance, followed her. The other girls stared at me. Melody was the first to speak. “You were gone for three hours. Bets is really mad. She wants to send you both home.” “That's not quite true,” said Veronica. “She said that you better have a very good explanation.” I panicked. “But I need this scholarship or I can't go to college. The alternative is yodeling in Austria. I can't yodel.” “Then you better think of a good explanation,” said Melody. “Personally, I hope she sends Cassie home. She is such a meanie.” “She seems really mean, but most mean people are just hurting inside,” said Bella. “Veronica acts cross and angry all the time, but that is because she hasn't accepted her situation.” “This is not about me,” said Veronica. “Besides, if you could pinpoint the person directly to blame for your incontinence, you would be angry at them too.” “Where were you?” asked Melody. “I really like you Nora. I hope you don't get in trouble too.” I was sitting at the table and it took me a bit of time to realize I was being spoken to. I was worried to death and I really had to pee even though I had been earlier. I looked across to Melody. “Thanks.” “No problem. Besides, you promised to teach me to change myself.” I wondered if one of the other girls would help her out. I was sure they would, but I had promised. My thoughts were interrupted as the kitchen door slammed open against the wall and Cassie stormed out. She turned toward the door and yelled, “I hate you, you stupid bitch.” She then ran across the cafeteria and out the door toward the cabin. I caught a glimpse of her face as she ran by. Tears and mascara streaked her face. Clearly she was crying. Bets appeared in the door and I slowly walked into the kitchen knowing I was going to be yodeling soon. “Nora, come on in. I want to hear your explanation.” We walked into the kitchen. It was not just a kitchen like in a house, but an industrial kitchen with stainless steel counters and fixtures and everything. Since it was just the six of us, the kitchen didn't look like it was being used. I followed her toward the freezer which made a buzzing sound. Two chairs sat in front of the freezer facing each other. “Sit,” she said as she took a chair. I sat and looked across to her. “Cassie didn't want to be a team player. She is in the cabin packing. Tell me why I shouldn't yank your scholarship and send you home as well.” “Cassie lost her scholarship?” I asked. “Yes. She told some tale about the two of you getting bored after you went to poop and that you went for a walk to the lake. Yet you were gone for three hours. We almost called the park ranger to find you.” “You didn't believe her?” I asked. “Of course not. She was obviously lying and she didn't seem to care that I knew.” “But,” I started to say. “That is pretty much what happened. We got done in the outhouse and walked down to the lake. I didn't know it was against the rules. Please don't pull my scholarship.” “You two are hiding something, so I don't think I have a choice. Go to the cabin and pack your stuff.” I couldn't lose this scholarship. I didn't even get caught as a faker. How could everything have gone wrong? “Please, no.” She gave me a stern look. I thought about Cassie and how her only way to go to college was this scholarship. I was just faking my way through this. Cassie really had bladder control problems. “It's all my fault. Don't blame Cassie for this. She doesn't deserve to lose her scholarship.” “Cassie made her position clear. She said the two of you went off so you wouldn't have to hang out with losers like the rest of us. Are you the one who convinced her of that.” “No, but it's still my fault. When we went to the outhouse to go number two, I let Cassie go first because she was the most desperate, but I couldn't hold it until she was done. I'm eighteen years old and pooped my diaper like a toddler. I did it right in front of Cassie, too.” “Go on,” said Bets. Her tone had changed. “Well Cassie is pretty abrasive, so I expected her to make fun of me, but she didn't. I still just stood there and balled. Instead of teasing me, she put an arm around me and told me it was okay. However, I didn't feel okay. I was actually overwhelmed and didn't know how to go about changing myself out of that mess. The outhouse didn't have running water and I needed a shower. Cassie suggested that I clean myself in the lake.” Bets eyebrows went up. “You didn't wash that mess off in the lake, I hope?” I shook my head. “No. When we got to the lake, we found the dressing rooms for the swimming area and I had a shower. Cassie helped change me. She was so nice and I was useless. Then the worse thing happened. My diaper had leaked and I had a huge poopy stain on my pants. I couldn't go back like that. I sat and cried and refused to move. It took Cassie a few hours to convince me to come back without my pants. I was unconvinced until she said to tell them I leaked pee in my pants instead of poop. I'm so sorry. I lost Cassie her scholarship all because I had too much pride to let the other girls find out I messed myself.” “You know that scholarship means a lot to Cassie. It's her only chance to go to college. I can probably go in a few years once my dad gets his case with the IRS settled, but Cassie has no money and no family that can help her out.” “Okay, you can stay. Go get Cassie and tell her she can stay too.” Bets then held up a finger. “However, Cassie said a lot of angry things and insulted all the other girls. The two of you will befriend Darla and Melody. Cassie will be in charge of changing and dressing Melody until she learns those skills herself. I don't know what that woman was thinking not teaching the girl those things. You do the same for Darla. Do we have a deal?” “I can't speak for Cassie, but I accept that deal.” “Good. Now go get Cassie and tell her she can stay if she follows the new rules.” “Sure thing,” I said. I rushed out of the kitchen and through the cafeteria. As I left, the other girls were waiting. “Are you being sent home too?” asked Melody. She stood up and came toward me. “I'll really miss you.” She squeezed me into a tight hug. “I explained everything to Bets. Everything is going to be okay. I got to run and tell Cassie before she does anything regrettable.” I pulled myself out of Melody's hug and continued out the door toward the cabin. ### When I opened the door to the cabin, I couldn't see a thing. There was a thick cloud of what could only be described as baby powder. Clean diapers littered the floor, a box of wipes lay broken against the wall and clothes were scattered around. I walked in and found Cassie lying facedown in her pillow. She was crying, but what really got my attention was she was naked from the waist down. There was a slightly damp diaper on the floor by her bed. “Cassie?” I didn't know I spoke, but she sat up and turned to face me. She was white as sheet and covered with baby powder. She must have noticed me staring at her crotch, so she put her pillow in her lap to hid her nudity. “Did you get kicked out too?” she asked. “No,” I said. “I explained everything to Bets and she is going to let us stay.” “Really?” She looked around the cabin and then frowned. She must have been embarrassed. “What did you tell her? I said some awful things. I thought I burned my bridges before I stormed out.” “I just told her that everything was my fault. You were just helping me because I had a messy accident and we were away so long because I was upset and too embarrassed to come back. She bought it.” She looked back at me. “You didn't tell her I messed myself first?” “Nope.” “Good,” she said. I was disappointed she didn't say anything else, but then she must have seen the look I gave her. “I can't live down a messy accident. I'm sorry you had to take the blame. Bets isn't punishing us at all?” “It's okay,” I said. “Yes, we are getting punished. We have to teach Melody and Darlene to be more independent. Both are functionally well-educated toddlers.” “I can see that Darla just had an over-protective mother, but Melody is a piece of work.” “Even Bets is surprised that Melody's mother didn't teach her anything. She is kind of upset about how childish she is. That's where you come in. You are her new best friend.” “Why me?” asked Cassie. “I am not a mommy. I am just a girl with a bladder control problem who wants to go to MIT.” “You said and I quote, 'I hate all these losers who equate incontinence with childishness. We just went away for some adult time.'” “Yeah, I said that and I meant it. I would have tried to break away for some fun time anyway if we hadn't pooped our pants.” “Fair enough. Now we have our tasks to perform.” I waved one hand around the room. “So what happened here?” “I threw the contents of my diaper bag around the room in anger. Do you think Bets will say anything?” “Let's not find out.” I picked a clean diaper off the floor. “Let's get you diapered before you have an accident on the bed.” She blushed, or I think she did under all the baby powder. She took the diaper and proceeded to diaper herself. She looked at me. “Thanks, Nora.” “Don't thank me yet. Let's get this mess cleaned up before the other girls get back.” We never did get the baby powder cleaned up despite sweeping the floor. The cloud dissipated and Cassie got her diaper bag restocked and her stuff put back away. The cabin still had a thin white dust over everything and the overwhelming violet scent of baby powder until we left camp at the end of the week. However, most of the evidence of Cassie's temper tantrum had been eliminated by the time the other girls returned from dinner. The only other consequence we faced was dinner. Both of us were famished from missing our meal. Cassie and I couldn't get a chance to eat until breakfast. I was surprised that I managed to get away with faking incontinence, but I only had been at camp for a day. I had the rest of the week and then four years of college to hide the fact that I was a big fat liar. Bets said we were going on a nature hike and then for a swim in the morning, so at least there would be activities to bond. I still needed to pick out which girl would be my new roommate. Chapter Eight I had such a hectic day with coming to camp and getting yelled at by Bets that I was surprised that we had only been at the camp for one day. After the other girls got to the cabin, it was getting dark. I dug out my cell phone. Although there was no coverage, I could see the time. It was only seven in the evening, but I was tired. Bets was the last one to enter. “Whoa, it's dusty in here.” I gave an embarrassed smile. “Yeah. We had a bit of a mishap with baby powder.” “I kind of need a spare bottle now,” said Cassie. “I'm sure Nora will let you share,” she answered. “Won't you?” I nodded. “And we now have a new rule. No one is allowed to go away from the main campground without telling me. You have the whole meadow, the cabin, and the cafeteria. In addition, there are shower facilities behind the cafeteria building and you are more than welcome to use them at any time. Does everyone understand?” A few of the girls nodded, but Bets was looking at me and Cassie. “We are adults,” said Veronica. “We are not babies just because of our underwear.” “Veronica, no one is treating you like babies. We just have a lot of team building exercises and we are not going to get through them if we have to go all over the camp looking for people.” “I don't mind,” said Bella. “It's only a week and then we have college. I can be adult enough at college.” “At least Bets is not going around checking our diapers to see if we need changed,” said Darla. “In spite of the problems we have, at least she lets us have some autonomy.” I looked over at Melody, but she just sat in silence. She had her bear in hand and was hugging it tight. I wondered how she would adjust to college. I had had my whole childhood to adjust slowly to not having a mother do everything for me. To be thrust from baby to adulthood in one week must be scary and it would be an abrupt adjustment. Of course she hadn't had to deal with bullying or anything like that, but that didn't give her social skills. Cassie and I had our work cut out for us. “So, anyway tomorrow is a full day,” said Bets. “You all might like to get some extra rest. It's 7:30 now, so I will turn the light off at 9:00, but your time is your own until morning.” There was a scramble as six girls stood up and went to their bags. I grabbed the romance novel I was working my way though and curled up in my bed with it. Bella grabbed her Anne Rice novel. We were apparently the only readers in the group. Cassie pulled out a deck of cards and taught Darla and Veronica how to play spades. Melody wanted to play too, but she couldn't follow the game and kept begging to play Old Maid instead. I felt bad that she was left out, but I was too comfy with my novel. I was surprised when she pulled Barbies out of her bag and started to play with them on her bed. I rolled my eyes and returned to my novel. In the novel, Phillipe was hired as a ranch hand after Mayre's husband had died. At first Mayre had hated the man, but he saved her many times. Once he saved her from rattle snakes and then later when her horse got a bur in its saddle and was out of control. He chased down the horse and lassoed it before holding her in his arms. I had the sudden urge to pee and I relaxed and let the inevitable happen. Would a man like Phillipe, or even the average frat boy want to date me while I kept up this charade? Boyfriends were supposed to be part of the college experience. Did Bets realize that wearing a diaper would be a drag on my sex life? Of course I was being selfish. I am sure she experienced lots of rejection from boys due to the diapers. I was stealing a chance from another incontinent girl, so I already knew I was being selfish. I rolled over into my pillow and started to cry. I was overwhelmed. This was too much. It was only one day in diapers and I was ready to be done. I needed the scholarship. I was not going to give it up, but four years of this was going to suck really bad. I tried to keep my sobs silent. The other girls were reading or absorbed in their games. However, Melody looked over at me and saw my blood-swollen eyes. She put down her dolls and walked over and knelt beside my bed. “Are you homesick, Nora?” she asked. I shook my head and tried to think of a way to shoo her away, but she sat down beside me and started stroking my hair. “Don't worry, Nora. I miss my mommy, too.” Angrily I grabbed her arm and shoved her away. “Stop touching me,” I yelled. The hurt look Melody gave me as she fell against the other bunk snapped me out of my morose. I got down on the floor and put an arm around her. “Are you all right? I'm sorry I pushed you.” I saw Bets glare at me, but she didn't intervene. “I'm not injured, but I'm still hurt,” she said. Her voice was still sad. “I was just trying to help. My mommy brushes my hair when I am sad and I thought it might make you feel better.” “It was a nice gesture, but please don't do that again. I am just upset about having to wear diapers. I'm just afraid I won't ever have a boyfriend. I haven't had a boyfriend since I first started having to wear diapers.” That was the first honest thing I had said about my diapers since I got there. I didn't have a boyfriend and I hadn't last week when I tried diapers for the first time. “I was just reading my romance novel and it just brought back the fact that none of the female interest in those books wear diapers.” “Are you saying that I can't get a boyfriend if I am in diapers?” asked Melody. “When I was twelve I asked my mother when I could have a boyfriend and she said when I started college. Why would she tell me that if I can't.” I sighed. “No one is saying we can't have boyfriends. It's just that most boys will be grossed out when we are making out with them and they discover a diaper on their girlfriend.” “But....” “Don't tell me you are that sheltered. All boyfriends eventually want to have sex. They will discover you wear diapers then. They will be surprised to find that you are not wearing sexy panties.” “I've never worn panties,” she admitted. “Weren't you ever potty trained?” She smiled. “Nope. Mommy told me I wasn't able to be potty trained because I am incontinent.” “I had many doctor's visits trying to find the cause of my incontinence after my car accident,” I said. That was the cover story Kara and I devised when I wrote my essay for the scholarship. “Veronica told me she went to the doctor multiple times after the drunk driver ran into her,” said Melody. “I've never been to the doctor's office. My mother doesn't believe in them. She has a spiritual healer we go to instead. Mommy runs a shop that sells hard to find ingredients that spiritual healers use, so we get a discount.” I was appalled. How could have she gone through life with a major problem like incontinence and never been looked at by a real doctor. Did she not have vaccinations either? Was she a religious nut? How would her mother let her go to a college like MIT where they have science if that was the case? “Umm, Melody?” “Nora.” “What about vaccines? You have to go to the doctor to get vaccines. They won't let you start college unless your shot records are up to date.” “Mother's spiritual healer didn't believe in vaccines, so mother didn't either. I never needed them since I was home schooled. We had direct energy transference instead.” I opened my mouth to object, but she interrupted me. “I think DET is nonsense. I still got measles. That was a really itchy two weeks.” She frowned. “Don't worry about the vaccines though. I got a letter from MIT last week that said that I just have to visit the Student Health Center to get them taken care of within the first two weeks of the semester. I am an adult now and can make my own health decisions. That includes going to get my health care needs filled by someone that doesn't buy scary chicken feet and hangs them from the ceiling.” I put an arm around Melody. I thought she was just sheltered before, but now I believe that her mother did her active harm. “So tell me about home schooling.” “Well, daddy used to visit me on Christmas and my birthday. So when I was seven, he brought me some school books and I did all the worksheets. Every Christmas and birthday I got some more and he picked up my worksheets. I went up two grades every year. They got harder and harder the last couple years though. For my sweet sixteen, daddy took me out on a day all my own. We went to a real school, which was weird because it was a Saturday and he left me there to take my ACT. I got a perfect score and we looked for scholarships. Mother was really upset when she found out, but I'm eighteen and daddy said she has to let me go to college. I guess that is homeschooling. I am interested to see how college works because you get teachers.” I was taken aback. She seemed so dumb, but if she home schooled herself with only books and worksheets, she had to be a genius. “Melody, you are going to be in my study group when we start college.” I turned and kissed her on the cheek. She smiled. “I'd like that. I never got to study with anyone else.” Bets walked over to the light switch and toggled it so the lights blinked. “Fifteen minutes, girls.” “Can you change me into a clean diaper before bed?” asked Melody. “I know you promised to teach me to do this myself, but you haven't yet.” I sighed. “Sure.” I helped Melody out of her overalls and then changed her. She just stared blankly as I did it. I taped the final tape and then patted her hip. “All set,” I said and started to get up. “Aren't you going to help me into my jammies?” She sat up and went through her bag and found a sleeper and handed it to me. It was August and hot. I shoved it back in her bag. “No,” I said. “It's too hot for jammies. We are just going to sleep in our diapers and shirts.” I pulled off the soccer shorts I was wearing and folded them and put them at the foot of my bed. I was dry, but I had waited a bit long to wet and it might be suspicious if I conveniently wet right before I needed a change. I had to pee a little bit and I would have gone to the bathroom if I wasn't wearing a diaper. “Are you sure it's okay?” I looked around at the other girls. Veronica wore shorts over her diaper, but Bella only wore a t-shirt like us. Darlene wore a nightie. Cassie got in bed and cast aside her bra and t-shirt before covering up. I was surprised that she would go shirtless in front of the rest of us. My best friend Kara had told me she slept naked unless she was staying at my house. I was a t-shirt and panties girl. I had nighties and even a set of flannel pajamas, but I always found that they were too much. “Yeah, I think it's okay. If you get cold just let me know. I know you don't want to wear a sleeper though.” I left Melody in her bed holding her teddy bear and returned to my bed. As I passed Cassie's bed, she grinned at me. “How was your talk with the baby?” Just then the lights went out, so she didn't see me when I scowled at her. “Don't call her that. Besides, you need to teach her to dress and change herself.” “Don't remind me,” she said. “And I suppose I should be nice since Bets gave me a second chance.” “There's the spirit,” I said. I got in my own bed and lay staring at the ceiling. If Melody the other girls could deal with incontinence, then I should be able to wear diapers continually too. I closed my eyes and relaxed before remembering that I had to pee. I couldn't get comfortable, so I just relaxed letting the wetness fill my diaper. It felt really warm against me and with that feeling, I drifted off to sleep. Chapter Nine: Are You Sure You Belong Here. I woke up and around me all the girls were sleeping. At least I didn’t see anyone moving around. It was light enough with the moonlight shining in the windows so that I could see. I looked around. Bets snored. She lay in the bed by the door, but I could tell she couldn’t know who was coming in or out. Melody sucked her thumb and hugged her teddy. Darla had her mouth open as she slept. I only saw the lump that was Veronica curled up under her sheets. Bella just slept on top of her bed. She was rolled over on her stomach. Her shirt rode up and I could see her entire diaper on display. However, I didn’t see Cassie. My diaper sort of started to feel clammy, so I wanted a change. I changed as quietly as I could and then walked to the trash can to throw away my used diaper. As I passed the door, I heard a noise coming from outside. I stepped out to investigate. Right away things were different. There were usually crickets cricketing and other night sounds but everything was still. We were away from the city and away from electric lights, or at least most electric lights. The only artificial light I’ve seen was in the cabin and it was off. However the sky was brilliant. It seemed covered in stars. I was used to only seeing a handful of stars, but they were clouds of stars. They ran in streaks and patterns around the sky. I was staring so hard at the stars that I almost forgot why I was out here, until I heard a pattering sound coming from behind a tree. I walked over to investigate and Cassie almost walked into me. She was adjusting her shorts, but when she saw me she got frightened. “What are you doing out here, Nora?” “I heard a noise,” I said. “What were you doing over there?” I wondered what caused the pattering sound. If we weren’t all diapered, I would have thought she was peeing, but that didn’t make sense. “Oh, um,” she started. “The stars were really bright so I went to investigate. You know if you wait long enough you can see a shooting star.” “No you can’t. Stars are just big gaseous balls of hydrogen. If one fell to earth, the planet would burn up. No. The whole solar system would be destroyed.” She grabbed my hand and dragged me across the meadow to a clear spot. Her blanket lay in the grass and I watched her lie down on it. “Lay beside me and we can watch.” I decided to play along and got down on the blanket beside her. I looked at the brilliant star field and tried to find the big dipper. That was the only constellation I knew. “There.” Cassie pointed at where the streak was. “Did you see the shooting star?” “It was a flash,” I admitted, “but I doubt it was a star.” “Of course not, you dolt.” She punched me lightly in the arm. “It’s a meteor. Just a piece of space rock. It’s just called a shooting star. The basically fall all the time.” “Meteors land on the earth constantly? You’d think you’d be able to find meteors everywhere if they are constantly falling.” “Meteors don’t land. If they did, they’d be meteorites. Besides, most are the size of sand and just burn up to show the streak you saw.” She pointed at the sky. “Ooh, another one. They are not all over the place.” “So how do you know all about this?” I asked. “When I lived with Felix and Elisa. Felix was an astronomer and he took me to the observatory all the time. I got to look through an eight inch telescope a few times. I really like that family a lot. Well he taught me a lot of astronomy stuff.” “What happened?” I asked. “Did they lock you in a cage too?” “No, they weren’t like Lorraine. I screwed this one up.” She looked at me and smiled. “I sort of beat up another girl in high school pretty bad, so I had to live in juvie for six months. They didn’t want me back when I got out, so CPS assigned me to another family.” She slurred the last few words as she started to cry. I put an arm around her. “It’s okay,” I said. “No it’s not. I wet the bed every night and then they made me wear diapers.” She cried even harder. “The other girls made fun of me and I got beat up all the time.” I held her and patted her back. “No one is going to make fun of you for your diapers.” “Thanks,” she said. She sounded a bit sarcastic. We were bonding and her tone just kicked me out of it. I thought maybe I was imagining it and I didn’t want to think bad of her after she opened herself up to me. Was Cassie a trouble maker? Would she hurt any of us? “We better get back to bed before Bets thinks we are breaking more rules. I don’t want to lose my scholarship,” she said. “Yeah, go ahead. I will follow you in a little bit. We shouldn’t come in at the same time. If we wake someone, they’ll notice both of us.” “Good idea.” She picked up her blanket and walked toward the cabin. When she went inside, I listened but didn’t hear anyone stirring. I turned and walked a different direction to the place I first saw Cassie come from behind the trees. I took out my cellphone and used it as a light to find what was making the splashing sound. There was wetness beneath the tree trunk. I knelt close enough to smell if it was pee and it was. Cassie was peeing back there. I walked slowly back to the cabin and tiptoed back to bed. No one except Cassie was awake. She looked at me. “You don’t tell anyone,” she hissed. Did she know I suspected her? That I discovered her pee puddle in the woods? She slid beside my bed and held one of my hands. “I don’t want the other girls to know about me being sent to juvie. They already hate me.” She looked me in the eyes and moved my hand so our pinkies were interlinked. “Pinky swear.” I was surprised she used such a childish gesture, but she had a look of panic on her face when I hesitated. “Pinky swear.” “And don’t tell them about me crying.” She turned and scooted off to bed. I lay back and stared at the bunk above me. Cassie was a girl of contradictions. First I thought she was going to beat me up for discovering that she was peeing outside. However, she thought she got away with it, so that was not what she was hiding at all. Instead of beating me, she did that little girl pinky swear thing. I was seven the last time Kara and I pinky swore. She had beaten up another girl in the past, so why was I different? Maybe her meanness was just a cover for her being afraid. I still had to worry if she was a threat to me. She was in juvie for hurting someone. Six months must mean she hurt the other girl bad and I wondered if she would do it again. However, she seemed to like me. She confided secrets that I wouldn’t have had the courage to tell. If she was really incontinent, could she have been able to pee outside? I doubted it. She had to walk quite a way from the blanket she lay out in order to pop a squat. It wasn’t right for her to fake this just for the scholarship. However, I was a faker and who was I to judge Cassie? I couldn’t see the splinter in her eye with the plank in my eye. I rolled onto my side. Experimentation had shown that wetting in this position meant a leaky diaper, but I was not going to sleep on my back or stomach. It was more comfortable and I was in no danger of wetting in my sleep. I closed my eyes and relaxed. Chapter Ten: The Nature Hike I woke to Bets yelling at us to get up. “It's morning and we are going to go swimming,” she said. “You can't lie in bed all day. It's nine o'clock already. You don't want to sleep away the day when there is so much nature to see.” I rolled to my back and stretched before looking around. Cassie had a blank look on her face, but she had her hands over her eyes as if she was rubbing them. Melody just jumped out of bed walked over closer to Cassie and I. Veronica's hair was everywhere. She was already going through her stuff and when she bent down, I could see her sleep shorts were wet. She grabbed a clean diaper and threw it angrily onto her bed along with her changing supplies. When she looked my way, she seethed with anger. Darlene just sat on her bed and looked at her feet. Bella stood and stretched. Her t-shirt rode up to display her wet diaper. Bella was the first to speak. “Where can we shower?” Bets smiled. “There are shower facilities across the meadow. Get you stuff and lets go.” Five minutes later, we all trooped across the meadow. We must have been a sight since we were all in our pajamas. Cassie did put on a shirt, but the rest of us wore what we slept in. Veronica was still cross and I heard her and Bella talking. “Did you leak last night?” asked Bella. “Are you wearing Depends?” “Of course I'm wearing diapers. They just suck for sleeping in.” Veronica still wore her soaked shorts. “I meant that you don't really have good ones,” said Bella. “I don't want them to show under my clothes. I'm not wearing thick ones with blocks on them like that girl.” She pointed at Melody's diaper. “I don't know about the blocks, but thicker is better.” She lifted her t-shirt to reveal her diaper. “No baby blocks, but they are thicker and my nightie is dry. I'll loan you one for tonight if you want to try. You'll feel better in the morning.” “I'd feel better in the morning if I didn't have to wear diapers at all.” Veronica bore her teeth and it looked like she was going to snarl at Bella. Darleen grabbed Bella by the arm and pulled her toward me. “Don't mine Veronica. She looks like she needs coffee.” “Or an enema,” said Cassie. “She has something up her ass.” I elbowed her in the ribs. “Shush.” She gave me an angry look and I remembered what Cassie was capable of. Was she going to beat me now? I turned to apologize, but she just smiled. “Geeze, it was only a joke.” “Remember,” I said. “You are supposed to be nice.” She frowned. Melody stood on my other side. She looked a bit worried and reached to grab my hand. I let her hold it until we got to a door in the back of the cafeteria building. It had a woman's bathroom symbol and another symbol indicating showers. We walked and the other girls race toward the showers. I found a bench and threw my bag on it before stripping down to shower myself. Melody stood quietly beside me and just stood there. She looked worried. I looked at her. “Are you all right?” “I always take baths. I never took a shower before.” I sighed. Did she have to be that helpless. “Well there are probably not any bathtubs in the dorms either, so get used to it.” “But...,” “Just get undressed.” I took off my t-shirt and diaper and then wrap a towel around me. I looked over to Melody and she saw she was doing the same. At least I didn't have to undress her like a baby. I put a hand on her shoulder. “It will be okay.” There were only four position in the shower and Bets, Cassie, Veronica, and Bella were first, so Melody, Darlene, and I had to wait. I looked into the shower. Most of the other girls were finished. I took Melody by the hand and pushed her under the shower and then took my position under the other shower head. I cleaned the best could and then returned to my towel and started to dry off. Melody was still under the shower soaping up. She looked happy in there. I imagined how her life must have been before camp. Her mommy probably bathed her like a toddler. I dried off and then pulled my bikini out of my bag. I kept my towel around my waist and put on the bikini top. Before I grabbed the panties and put them on, Bets voice rang out clearly. “Girls, hurry up and get dressed. We are going on an hour long nature hike on the way to go swimming. Be sure you bring some extra diapers. We are going to be gone from the cabin until noon.” I grabbed a clean diaper and taped it on. I found some clean shorts in my bag and pulled them on and stuffed the bikini bottoms in my pocket. Melody came out of the shower naked and wet. I tossed her a towel and she started to dry off. “Can you diaper me please?” she asked. I shook my head. “Cassie is supposed to do that from now on,” I said. I motioned over to Cassie and she came over. “Hurry and get dressed, Baby,” she said when she saw Melody wasn't ready. I sighed. “We talked about this, Cassie. You need to help her. Besides, she's not a baby. She's really smart if you get to talk to her.” Cassie frowned. “Well, Smarty Pants, lay down on the bench.” She put one of Melody's building block diapers under her and pulled the front up between her legs. She was about to tape it up, but I had to tease her. “You must really like changing diapers,” I said. “No, I don't. Bets is making me.” “She's making you do it until she learns how to do it herself,” I said. “If you don't teach her, she's not going to learn and you'll have to keep doing it.” She scowled, but looked at Melody. “See, you lay on the diaper and then you pull the front up to the same level.” She described the process as she did so. I was enjoying Cassies discomfort until Darlene tugged on my arm. “Can you give me a hand?” She held a untaped diaper between her legs and she looked cross. I helped her down on the bench. “I always tape the bottom tapes first,” I said. “Then you can make sure the top ones go over your hips so your diaper doesn't sag too much.” I taped them in place. I never thought I would be changing diapers. I was glad Kara made me wear them and change myself in the week before camp. I would have looked stupid if I didn't know what I was doing. When I was done, I brushed my hair the best I could and tied it in a pony tail. Toothbrushing followed. I decided to skip the whole makeup thing. It was just us girls and it would wash off while swimming. Cassie and I were the last to leave the bathroom when all was said and done. I smiled at the group. “Shall we be moving?” asked Bets. Melody took Cassie by the hand and they followed Bets and the other girls. I was surprised Cassie let her hold her hand. She looked back at me with a look of discomfort. I smiled and walked beside Darlene. We walked into the woods and Bets pointed out all the trees and what types they were. After about twenty minutes, she pointed out some mushrooms growing on a tree like a shelf. I thought it was pretty cool, but the other girls were bored. “Nora, what is your room like?” asked Darlene. “I bet you have a cool and more adult-looking room. Mine has pink walls and a stupid canopy bed.” I frowned. “I'd actually like a room like that. Mine has a boarded up window and black scorch marks on my carpet.” “Really? What happened?” “My house got raided by the IRS. They came with guns. It was scary because I was still in bed and they smashed through the windows. They wouldn't let me get dressed until they were done searching the house.” “Whoa. That sounds embarrassing. Were they nice about your diapers?” I had to stop and think about it. I hadn't been in diapers then. I wondered what would have happened if it was the case. “No.” I remembered the SWAT team teasing me about wetting myself when the flashbang grenade flew through the window. I don't they would have been very nice if I was in diapers then. “They even handcuffed me so I wasn't able to pull my shirt down and I was obviously very wet.” Sitting in wet panties for three hours was embarrassing. Wetting on my carpet because I was still in handcuffs was even worse. “Oh my,” she said. “I though I had it bad with a mother who won't leave me alone. You have it far worse than me.” I felt bad. I was gaming these people for free college and Darlene felt bad for me. I felt disgusted with myself. “Well, it's good you got the scholarship since your money dried up,” she said. I nodded. “So tell me more about yourself.” “Well, I have four brothers. I'm the only girl. I'm the youngest.” She looked around. “Nothing really exciting happened to me. Well that I remember. I was in a car accident between first and second grade. I don't remember it at all. I do remember coming home from the hospital and having to wear diapers again. My mother is a stay at home mom, so she could make sure I have anything I want. She writes all the time”. “I had to be quiet and play with my toys or read a book in her office so she could keep an eye on me. I really didn't need constant supervision. The only freedom I got was when mother dropped me off at school and there I had to deal with people who bullied me.” “Oh wow,” I said. “I thought she was over the top when she dropped you off at the van.” “I was surprised by that too. I thought I'd get a reprieve now that I am eighteen, but I think she is a habitual meddler in my life.” She sighed. “It worked out. I didn't have anything to do at home but do homework. At least mother didn't hover over me and second guess me on school work. Everything else was hovering.” She twirled around. “Do you see how I dress?” I did look at her. She wore nighties to bed, which was just personal preference, I thought, but she also wore weird looking clothes. Her jeans were just a bit like mom-jeans. I mean, sure she would need the extra room in the seat, so I never expected anything. However, her shirts were a bit dressy. I hadn't really seen her wear a t-shirt the whole trip. She only wore button-down blouses. “It's not that bad,” I said. She pointed to Melody just ahead. She wore a pink t-shirt with a Disney princess on the front. She wore a short white jeans skirt and I swear I could see her diaper peaking out as she walked. “At least I am not as babyish as she is.” “Well, from what I hear, her mother makes yours seem normal. You know she never had a vaccination in her life?” “What? My mother wouldn't let up about the vaccine thing. I think I had to get a flu shot at least twice a year. My shot record is meticulously recorded in volume eighteen of my baby book.” “Volume eighteen?” I had a book with baby pictures and scrapbook items, but it stopped getting updated when I was three. “I do have a shelf with all my participation trophies, but I don't care about those. I got my softball trophies for sitting on the bench.” “My brothers had some of those. They never kept them. They only kept their championship trophies. I never got to play sports. It wasn't safe for someone with my condition.” She shook her head. “I only have a severed nerve from where a pen impaled me during the accident. It's only the nerve that tells me when I have to go pee. It's not like I am in danger of hurting my back or jarring something if I get hurt doing sports.” “So why couldn't you do anything?” “I think mother feels guilty because she thinks she couldn't protect me,” she said. “I have to be watched over so no more harm will come to me. You know, I am not prepared to be on my own. Mother didn't even teach me to change myself. It's ridiculous.” “We'll work on that,” I said. “I appreciate it.” She looked at me. “You know, I noticed you are pretty together. You step up and help out. I don't know what you did to Cassie.” She pointed at Cassie and Melody holding hands as they walked. “She was so mean before. Bella told me Bets was going to throw her out of the program.” “Bella was wrong.” I didn't want to tell her about our messy diapers. I didn't want to have the other girls find that out about me. “Well, Bets just asked Cassie to help out Melody. She wasn't in trouble.” “We all heard Cassie's outburst,” said Darlene. “Something went down.” “It's a private matter,” I said. “Bets said it was over and forgotten.” I must have appeared angry. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry.” “Forget it,” I said. “So what made you choose engineering?” I asked. “I had the grades for it. We don't have much money because there were a lot of medical bills and mother quit her job to take care of me. I couldn't get any other scholarships because you have to be involved in extracurricular activities to actually be awarded most scholarship. I don't even know what I want to do when I grow up. Never had any experience that would help me decide.” “I actually wanted to teach English,” I admitted. “I want to write an awesome bodice ripper with Fabio on the cover.” “Ick,” she said. “Fabio is pretty dumb. He can barely speak English. Mother got to meet him when he was in a photo shoot for her cover.” “You're kidding. Your mother wrote a book with Fabio on the cover?” “Yeah, ick.” “I love him,” I said. “I used to lay in bed and read his books with one hand under the blankets.” I blushed. “Eww,” she said. “Oh, come on, surely you have. Everyone does it.” “I don't. You really missed the part where my mother supervises every aspect of my life.” She looked at me. “Just eww. That was too much information.” “Oh look,” I said, desperate to change the conversation. “Bets is pointing out a deer. Be quiet or it will run away.” The deer came closer to us and I saw that it had an orange tag in its ear. It saw us and turned and bounded away. “Are they domesticated?” I asked Bets. “What's with the ear tags?” “No,” said Bets. “It's a state park. They mark them to manage the wildlife. Some people like to hunt here in the winter.” “Oh, no,” said Melody. “Someone would kill that sweet little deer? It's like when Bambi's mother got shot.” “Stop being a baby,” said Cassie. “There are too many deer anyway.” Bets glared at Cassie for an instant and then we resumed our march. “That was weird,” said Darlene. “Cassie had to grow up too soon,” I said. “She doesn't have the patience to deal with Melody tactfully.” We walked a while longer and then came out of the woods behind the locker rooms by the lake. Cassie and I had been there earlier. Behind the building was a picnic table and on it was a basket. “Oh good. The food is here,” said Bets. “We can have out picnic after our swim.” Swimming would be fun. I didn't know how much it would reveal about me or the other girls. I've never been so humiliated in my life. Chapter Eleven: Humiliation “I am not going to swim,” said Veronica. She held her arms crossed to emphasize her flat refusal. I stared at her. Her one piece swimming suit lay on the bench of the dressing room and she refused to even pick it up. The colors were still bright. In fact, it still had the price tags on them. Darleen sat on the bench in her suit. She wore a swim diaper instead of bikini bottoms. Melody wore a one piece, but it was obvious she had on swim diapers beneath them. Cassie was naked. She still wore her diaper, but she hadn't started to put on her bikini top. “I don't know why you don't want to swim,” said Cassie. “Nora and I went swimming yesterday. The water was nice.” “It's because I'm wearing a diaper. It reminds me of my incontinence when I swim. There is no way to hide the diaper. Look at these two.” She pointed at Melody and Darleen. “It's just us girls,” said Darleen. “No one else will see our diapers.” “I will see them,” said Veronica. “I will see what that drunk turned me into.” “Don't wear a diaper,” I said. “You are outside and it's a lake. Besides, before I was incontinent, I peed my bathing suit lots of times.” “Eww,” said Darleen. “Nora and I were skinny dipping yesterday. We took off our diapers for a swim.” Cassie turned a bit red. “Are you sure it's okay?” asked Veronica. I nodded and she shed her clothes and diaper and pulled on the new swimsuit. She looked in the mirror and smiled. Cassie and I dressed in our bikinis as well. We walked out and Bets stood there. “Swimming without protection?” Cassie nodded. “Yep. I peed in the pool before I was incontinent. Besides swim diapers don't really hold pee.” Bella came running out of the locker room. She wasn't diapered either. Bets smiled. “Okay. That is a valid and discreet option. Have fun.” She then turned to me and quietly said. “Nora, I think you do need a swim diaper. You had issues with messing yesterday. I don't think we want to swim with you if you have another messy accident unless you have swim diapers on.” Veronica was probably too close and she definiately heard. “Eww. Nora messed her pants yesterday. Make her wear a swim diaper. Eww.” The other girls all stared at me. I couldn't believe what Bets had revealed in front of the other girls. Only Cassie had known about the incident and now everyone knew. “Oh, that's why you came back without pants,” said Bella. I turned and fled into the bathroom where I sat on the bench and started to cry. How could Bets embarrass me like that? I was going to just go home and pack for Austria. At least no one in Austria would know I messed myself and I wouldn't have to wear diapers. I wondered what kind of job I could get with a yodeling degree. Bets came in. She had a swim diaper in her hands which she handed to me. “Nora, it's for the best. You don't want to contaminate the water.” I wanted to yell at her for embarrassing me, but I couldn't get any coherent words out. I was crying too hard. However Cassie came in behind her. “The other girls think I'm mean,” she said. Bets looked at her. “This is hardly the time.” “It's exactly the right time. You revealed something Nora was embarrassed about to all of us. Don't you see you humiliated her? The other girls think I'm mean, but I am never that mean.” “I didn't know Veronica was close enough to overhear. I'm sorry.” Bets sat beside me and held me against her and patted my back. I was still sobbing and I pressed my face against her shoulder. I still couldn't say anything understandable. “Bets, let me take her to the cabin,” said Cassie. “We will behave ourselves, I promise.” “We are going to stay together,” said Bets. “You two need to get to know the other girls. You just can't stay by yourselves the whole time.” “But she is humiliated and just needs to be alone to cry it out. Please let us go. I know she'll have to face the other girls later. However, she not ready for that.” I stopped sobbing a bit. “Yeah, I want to go back to the cabin.” I could barely speak, but I managed. Bets looked at Cassie and then back at me. “Okay, go. We'll be back after our picnic. There are sodas in the cooler in the cafeteria kitchen and there are frozen pizzas in the freezers.” She touched my shoulder. “I'm really sorry I revealed your accident to the other girls.” Cassie took my hand. “Come on, let's go.” I got up and then picked up my diaper bag. Cassie took hers and we walked back to the cabin. We had just gotten out of sight of the lake when I felt the need to pee. I was almost ready to start peeing, but then I realized I was still in my bikini. “Oh crap. I forgot to put on a diaper.” Cassie got a panicked look. “Oh yeah.” She grabbed a diaper from her bag and lay right down on the grass and put one on. She then turned to me as I was sorting through my bag for a clean diaper. “Would you like me to help?” “I think I can manage,” I said. I pulled a diaper out of the bag and started to change myself. When I had my diaper on, Cassie was ready to go. “Hurry up.” “I need to put on shorts.” “No we don't. I am just going to wear my diaper and bikini top. We can go to the meadow and lay out.” She grabbed her diaper bag and began to walk toward the camp. I hurried to follow her. When we arrived at the campsite, he dropped our bags on our bunks and then Cassie left the cabin. I followed her to the middle of the meadow where she threw her towel on the grass. “I still think that was mean that Bets outed you. And Veronica is going to hear from me.” Cassie balled up her fist before bending down to straighten the towel. I laid my towel down and joined her. “Thanks, Cassie. Veronica is still more to blame. I don't think Bets meant to shame me.” “Still, a bit of discretion goes a long way.” She looked at me for a while and though for a bit before speaking. “When I got out of juvie, I got a new family. I was the only foster kid. They had a child of their own and I didn't have to share a room with her, but the diapers weren't a secret. My foster sister teased me and shamed me for needing diapers. It was awful.” I reached over and took her hand. “It's okay. You don't have to hide the diapers from me.” I twisted my fingers. “We are this close. We can share anything.” Cassie frowned. “Well--,” she started. She cut off what she was going to say abruptly. I guess she still had secrets and to tell the truth, I was lying to her then. I was a big faker and she had to endure teasing because of diapers when she was growing up. I had parents that loved me and I wouldn't have to deal with parents that didn't understand. We lay out for quite a while. We pointed out clouds and made up shapes from them. We talked about our dreams for college. At one point Cassie rolled over on her stomach and unhooked her bikini top. “My front is tanned enough.” I rolled over next to her and we stared into the woods looking for the other girls. “Are you going to try to find a boyfriend in college,” I asked. “Of course,” she said. “Although, I've never really been in anyplace long enough to have one. It will be a first for me.” “I thought you'd be a bit more experienced,” I said. “My rough and tough exterior?” she asked. “You got to be rough and tough to get through foster care.” “Especially with diapers,” I said. She paused and then sighed. “I guess.” I heard a noise and saw two cars driving around the lane from behind the cafeteria building. “Someone's coming,” I said. “Let's go before someone sees us.” Cassie squealed and then got up. Her bikini top started to slide, but she grabbed the ties in one hand in her towel in the other and ran toward the cabin. I grabbed our other stuff and followed. When we got to the cabin, we scrambled to find shorts and t-shirts. Once dressed, I looked out the window. The cars pulled up by the cabin and stopped in the lane. One of the cars was a cop car. The other was a Prius. Cassie joined me on the bunk by the window as we peered out. “It's the police. We got to hide.” “No, we don't,” I said. “We didn't do anything wrong.” However, the police man got out of his car and headed toward the cabin. The woman in the Prius followed and stood by his side. “No, there is a woman with the police man. That usually means it's social services. I need to hide.” She looked around nervously. “I thought you were eighteen. They can't get you, can they?” I was more worried that it was the IRS coming to take my new source of college funds. I wore diapers to get this one and I was not going to lose it after going through the humiliation of wearing diapers. Cassie looked around for a way out, but there was no back door. Instead, she hid under the bed. There was a knock at the door and I sighed and answered it. The police officer stood there and looked at me. His utility belt held black weapons. His gun looked so big, but he also had a taser and a heavy flashlight. I involuntarily let out a bit of pee into my diaper as I thought of what the SWAT team had done to me at my home. The woman next to him seemed out of place. She wore a flowy skirt and a peasant blouse. Around her neck was a pentagram necklace. She looked at me and a full body shiver flowed through me. She was a middle aged woman, but she scared me to death. She scared me more than the police man. The police man spoke. “We need to ask you a few questions.” From under the bed, I heard Cassie whimpering in fear. The police man looked around for the source of the sound. Cassie wasn't good at staying hidden. I bit my lip as the police locked his eyes on Cassie's bare foot sticking out from under the bunk. Chapter Twelve: I'm Not a Baby The policeman knew that Cassie was hiding under the bed. He looked at her and he looked pissed. “I see you under there. Come out now.” He took out his flashlight and shined it at Cassie under the bed. It was a big, black six cell Maglite and I knew they were used to force compliance as well as providing light. Cassie slowly backed from under the bed and sat up facing the police officer. She was scared. “I... I... didn't... do it. I... I... swear.” The cop ignored Cassie and turned to the woman with the pentagram necklace. “Is this her?” The woman shook her head. “No, it's not. I told you she was blond.” The cop shrugged and waved a hand at Cassie. “Who knows what color her hair was originally. I had to ask.” He turned to Cassie. “Now why were you hiding from me?” “I don't know.” She said it like a little girl who got caught taking a cookie from the cookie jar. It reminded me of the joke on Bill Cosby's stand up routine where he talked about how children were brain damaged. Her father played the tape in the car on every road trip. “Why'd you do it?” asked Bill. He then switched to a little girl voice and said, “I don't know.” Then he'd address the audience. “See? Brain damaged.” Cassie didn't think it was a joke and neither did the police officer. He looked at her. “Never hide from a police officer. If I wasn't so busy I'd arrest you for obstructing a police investigation.” He turned to me. “Now I have a few questions I need to ask you.” Cassie spoke up. “We demand an attorney while we are being questioned.” “I am investigating a kidnapping. Do you think you're a suspect?” He glared at Cassie. “We are just at a camp for the girls in a certain scholarship to get to know each other before we start college,” I said. “We don't know anything about a kidnapping.” “Is Elizabeth Jones the head of this scholarship committee? Do you know where she is?” “Her name was on the paperwork,” said the woman. I nodded. “She and the other girls are swimming at the lake. I didn't feel good, so we came back here.” “Do you know which road leads to the lake?” the lady asked. “I think you just cut through the woods on the trail.” I looked at Cassie and then back at the woman. “We didn't drive down there, although I guess there should be a way since there was an RV parking area by the lake.” “What's this all about? What would we have to do with a kidnapping? We haven't seen anyone as we've been alone on the campground since we got here.” “Someone stole my baby,” said the woman, “and someone will have to pay when I find them.” She pulled a chain from beneath her blouse and stroked a chicken foot suspended on it. Cassie spoke. “There are no babies here. We are all college students.” The woman just glared at Cassie and held the chicken talon tight in her hand. It was really creepy. Fortunately, the police officer turned to the woman. “We'll find your baby. Let's go down to the lake and interview this Elizabeth Jones woman. They were about to leave when I heard voices coming from the woods behind the cabin. Bets and the other girls were returning. I wondered what I should do, but I couldn't warn them without alerting the police. Besides, they were missing a baby. Maybe someone's baby disappeared at the McDonald's and they were asking because the van was marked and they thought Bets might have seen something. The girls walked into the cabin. Violet was first with Melody close behind. Melody looked at the woman and ran up to her and gave her a hug. “Mommy, what are you doing here?” The woman rubbed Melody's back and then showered her with kisses. “I missed my baby so much. I'm glad you are safe.” “Is this your daughter, ma'am?” the police officer asked. “Yes, yes, she is. Thank you so much.” She looked at Melody. “You are safe now with Mommy. I'll take you back home.” She looked at the cop. “How soon can we leave?” The cop was about to speak, but Melody interrupted. “No, mama. I got two more days at camp, then I am going to college.” “Nonsense. You are coming home. Who is taking care of you? Who is changing you and helping you get dressed. Did your father just leave you with these people without telling me instead of taking you back home when his visitation was over?” The cop looked a bit uncomfortable, but Melody went on. “I am dressing myself now, and I am learning to change myself. I am not a baby anymore. And yes, daddy dropped me off.” “But I am your mother and you have to do what I say. I am telling you that you need to come home with me.” So this was it. We were not going to deal with Melody anymore. She was pretty weird, but I had really grown to like her. “But, mommy, I am not a baby anymore.” “You'll always be my baby and I am not letting you go.” The whole interchange took place in front of the threshhold of the door, so Bets couldn't get in, but she finally got in past Darlene and Veronica and finally stood up for Melody. “She's starting college now. Surely you want the best for your daughter's education.” “Stay out of this,” said the woman. “Don't you dare try to tell me how to raise my child.” “Mommy, I am eighteen now. Daddy said it was my decision if I should go to college since I am now an adult. I'm not a baby anymore, Mommy.” “You lost that privilege when you didn't come back and you left home without telling me.” “But I left a note because I knew you'd be like this. I am eighteen and I am going to college. You can't stop me.” Melody turned to storm to her bunk, but her mother spun her around and held her by both forearms. “Listen. We are going now. Pack your things.” Melody stared back. I could see her legs were shaking. “No, mama.” “You are my child and I will make you if I have to.” The policeman finally spoke up. “No ma'am. She is eighteen now. You can't make her go back with you. She is an adult now.” Bets looked at the policeman. “Please make that woman leave. She is disturbing my students.” The policeman looked at her. “You got to leave now. She's an adult and she can make her own decisions. You have to let your children move on.” Melody's mother looked at Melody. “Fine. You can stay, but when you can't handle college, don't cry to me about it. If you don't make it through, I will not send you to college when you are ready for it. You will learn to do your own laundry, and make your own bed, and deal with homework and everything without help.” She turned and walked out the door. The police officer turned to Bets. “I'm sorry. I didn't know she was an adult. I thought I was looking for a missing child.” He looked at Melody and just stared. “She is awfully childlike though.” I looked at the policeman. “I honestly thought she was going to cave and go home. She is grown up today.” “Well, I'm done here.” He turned to Cassie. “You, young lady, need to keep your nose clean. Not every police officer is out to get you.” He turned and left. “Well, girls,” said Bets. “We had enough excitement for today. Free time until supper.” The other girls ran out of the cabin. I went to my bed. I was wet and I wanted a change. As I was l changing, I saw Melody lay down on her bunk. She wasn't changing herself, but she was lying face down. I quickly took off my old diaper and cleaned myself with a wipe, before putting on my new diaper. I heard sobbing and looked over at Melody. I had planned to go join the others. Bella had a Frisbee and Veronica and Darleen had ball gloves, so they were going out to have fun. However, I just felt bad for Melody. Why was she sobbing. Instead of going out to have fun myself, I walked over and sat beside her on her bed. I started brushing my hand through her hair. “It will be okay.” “No, it's not. My mommy is mad at me. I never disobeyed her before.” I rubbed her back. “Don't you want to go to college?” I asked. “Yeah,” she said through sobs. “It's just that she is mad at me and wants me to fail.” “Well, you will have to make sure that you don't fail then.” I rubbed her back and smiled. “I'll try not to.” “Good,” I said. “You will be in my study group because you are smarter than me.” “I'm glad you have such faith in me.” “Now let's go play Frisbee with the others.” She reached in her bag and pulled out a clean diaper. “Change me first?” I shook my head. “You know what to do,” I said. “Cassie showed you what to do.” She managed to change herself. I did take the time to tighten the tapes though. I looked at the cartoon Teddy bears on the front of her diaper. “Where did you get the diapers with the cartoons?” “Mommy gets them online,” she said. She pulled on her shorts and we headed out the door to join the others. Chapter Thirteen: Breaking Camp After all the earlier excitement, the rest of the camp activities just weren't eventful. Aside from swimming and hiking, we really didn't do much except get to know one another. I thought about who I wanted to live with and I really couldn't choose. I liked Melody and Cassie seemed pretty cool as well. I knew we should be picking roommates and I was frankly just torn. Cassie and I got along pretty well, but she had that violent past. However, Melody was really smart, but she was too childish. It was the last night before camp ended and we would be headed back to MIT. We all sat around a campfire. I sat between Cassie and Melody. Veronica and Darlene had gone off to talk and Bella was sitting by herself reading. Cassie scooted closer to me. “So who are you going to choose?” I thought about it and then I shrugged. “I still haven't decided.” I looked over at Bella and yawned. Sitting next to the fire was making me a bit drowsy. I wondered how she felt. She was sitting by herself. I stood and walked over to her. I looked at Cassie, but she gave me a hurt look. That was too bad. I had to find out. “Bella, may I sit here?” I asked. She smiled and put her book by her side. “So Veronica and Darlene seem to want to be roommates. Who do you want to room with?” She gave me an uncomfortable look. “Well, I like almost all the girls,” she said. “I really don't mind, but I don't want to share a dorm room with one girl.” I looked over to Cassie and then back at Bella. I smiled at her. “The thing is, I am trying to decide between choosing Cassie and Melody. Since Veronica and Darlene have decided to be roommates, then if I choose Melody, you have to live with Cassie, and if I choose Cassie, you get Melody. I wanted your input. Beside, both girls have different downsides, but they are both awesome.” I put a hand on her shoulder. “So what do you think?” “I'll take Melody. You stay with Cassie. You two are best suited for each other.” I nodded. “Okay. I'll fill out my preferences and give them to Bets.” I took the little ballot Bets made us and circled Cassie's name. I then put it in the hat she had on the picnic table and then I returned to my spot between Melody and Cassie. Cassie grabbed my forearm. “What were you two talking about?” she hissed. I tried to pull my arm from her grip, but it was too strong and it hurt. “I asked her if she wanted to live with you or Melody. I couldn't decide and Veronica and Darlene chose each other.” I tried to pull my arm away. “Let go. You are hurting me.” She let go and then rubbed my forearm where her grip had squeezed it. “I'm sorry. I got too excited. Besides, I thought you were going to dump me in with the baby.” She frowned and looked over at Melody and then stuck her mouth to my ear. “I'm sorry. I'm a terrible person.” I whispered back to her. “You aren't terrible. You are my friend and we are going to stick together.” She gave me a hug. “Thanks. I need someone who can put up with me. I usually don't get along with others.” “I would have never guessed.” The sarcasm was evident. I just sat and relaxed. After enjoying the campfire, it wasn't long before Bets took the hat and then began writing. She then stood up. “It looks like we decided on our roommate situation here. I think this is the first year everyone got their first preferences. Veronica and Darlene are together in the double Melody and Bella, and Nora and Cassie are going to be in the quad.” “I thought we were just two to a room,” said Bella. “You are,” said Bets. “The quad has a shared bathroom and sitting area, but the double is just a bit larger. You'll see. They are both nice.” “So I guess we are sharing a bathroom with the baby,” said Cassie. “You get to bathe her.” “Be nice,” I said. “She is going to bathe herself. Remember, we are teaching her to be independent.” “Fine,” said Cassie. “Shush, I'm trying to hear Bets.” Bets continued talking. “… so I expect you to be ready at nine o'clock tomorrow morning. We want to get you girls settled in your new rooms. We will give you a chance to go shopping. Your scholarship includes an allowance for incidentals and school supplies, so we are going to Walmart.” “Oh joy. Walmart,” I said. “Where do you shop for school supplies and stuff?” asked Cassie. “Some of us didn't grow up filthy rich.” I frowned. I felt guilty. I had been rich before Dad's IRS problem. I had two reasons to feel guilty now. Although I didn't feel as bad about this as I did about faking incontinence. Walmart? Really? I said nothing and Cassie took my silence as me being called out as snobbish. After a while, she whispered to me. “I'm going to head to bed. A quick change and some rest will do both of us some good. I nodded and followed. I was getting uncomfortable from being wet and wanted to change and maybe get back into the romance novel I was reading. “I can't wait for college to start,” she said. “I'm looking forward to it myself,” I said. “I hope I have the perfect outfit for the first day of classes.” “Yeah,” she said. “I need to pick out an outfit myself. What I usually wear won't work because I don't want my diaper to show.” “Cassie, what do you mean that you usually wear?” I asked. She got a panicked look on her face. “Well, um,” she started. “I, um, ripped my favorite jeans last week. I wear them everywhere I want to make an impression or I did. You can see my diaper through the rip.” “Okay,” I said. “I just think you should wear a short dress and let all the haters screw themselves.” “I wish I was brave enough to do that, but I think discretion is better.” “I know. It was one of the first things I had to give up after becoming incontinent,” I said. “And printed panties,” she said. “I was at Walmart and saw they had Marvel panties and I was upset I couldn't buy them.” “Really?” I asked. “I didn't see you as a comic book reader.” “Well, I don't read comic books. I like the comic book movies though. I don't have the patience.” “It takes patience to read comic books?” I laughed. “I could read one in ten minutes.” “Fine, laugh. I'll just take your romance novel and give you ten or fifteen pages every month. I'll be sure the last page is at a critical point. You see how much patience you have then.” “You wouldn't dare,” I said. “No, I wouldn't,” she admitted. “But if I did, you would know what a comic book is like.” “So why were you looking at little girl's Wonder Woman panties?” I asked. “I was in Walmart and they were on a display by the aisle. Besides they were for women our size and I said Marvel, not DC. Were you even listening?” “Wait. What?” “Wonder Woman is a DC Comics character. The panties I was talking about had Iron Man, the Hulk, and Thor. They are characters in Marvel Comics. And they were in our size, not little girl sizes. Okay?” “I get it now.” I didn't. I just rolled my eyes. “Good. As my roommate you are going to be exposed to my love of nerdy science fiction stuff. Besides, we are going to be MIT girls and that means we get to study nerdy stuff like science and engineering.” “I still don't know about comic book movies, though.” We arrived at the cabin and Cassie grabbed her changing supplies and changed. I took the time to do so as well. When I finished, I turned toward Cassie. “Cassie, have you ever had a boyfriend?” She started snoring and I didn't have the energy to wake her up.” ### The next morning, I woke up to a gentle shaking. “Wake up, Nora. Everyone else is ready.” I rolled over, but Melody persisted in her attempt to wake me. “Wake up. We are going to college today and we are leaving in ten minutes. I sat up. “Ten minutes. Why didn't you wake me sooner?” I had to pee pretty bad and my diaper was still dry. I reached for my shorts and pulled them on and then franticly set about packing. “We tried to wake you, but you kept going back to sleep,” said Cassie. “I am going to be left behind in the woods,” I said. “Oh, you're finally up,” said Bets. “Hurry and get your stuff packed in the van.” I grabbed my toiletry bag and started for the door, but Bets stopped me. “No time for that. We got to leave now.” I turned around and packed. This was not good. My hair was tied in a pony tail, but I got sweaty during the night and I wanted a shower. Besides, I needed to wet my diaper and have a diaper change. Instead I put my suitcase in the back of the van and got in with everyone else. As soon as I sat down I wet. The purple diaper I had worn to bed handled my wetting well enough, but I was afraid I was going to leak. However, these diapers held up pretty good and I had been in a wet diaper constantly so I guess it wasn't too bad. Soon after I wet, we were on the road and headed back to MIT. My adventure was about to begin. I had worn diapers constantly for three days with other girls watching. I could fake this pretty well. What remained to be seen is if I could fake this for four more years. I lay my head against the window as we drove back toward Boston. Chapter Fourteen: Settling In We decided to stop at McDonalds on the way home. Bets decided. I would have preferred anywhere else, but anywhere with a bathroom would be good. I wanted to change and I couldn't stand it after sitting in a wet diaper for three hours. We finally pulled in and I grabbed my diaper bag got out of the van and headed inside. “Wait up,” said Casey. She ran after me and matched my speed when she caught up. “Okay, let's go.” I headed toward the lady's room and Cassie followed me. We got stalls next to each other and I started to change. I got the old diaper off and carefully wrapped it up so it wouldn't drip on my shorts. “Eww. Yuck,” I heard from the other stall. “What's wrong?” I asked. “Nothing. I'm just changing.” I just ignored her and finished changing and getting dressed. I then picked up the dirty diaper and dropped it in the trash. When I looked in the mirror, I was a mess. My hair was everywhere and I felt sweaty. I just smoothed my hair the best I could and waited for Cassie. She came out of the stall and didn't look happy. She stuffed the diaper in the trash and washed her hands. “Let's skip the milkshakes today.” I blushed but then we walked out and ordered our food. Cassie and I just shared a twenty piece McNugget meal. I was in no mood to have a messy problem that couldn't be taken care of until after I was able to move into my dorm room. That would have sucked. We sat over in the corner away from the other girls. Darlene and Veronica, and Melody and Bella had each taken separate tables away from each other. Being together in the van and all weekend had been a bit much. “I can't wait to go to Walmart,” said Cassie. “I am going to love this. I am going to buy the good folders. I think I might actually buy a Trapper Keeper.” “Really? They still make those?” I wondered why she would want one. I couldn't imagine a use for one in college. “I'm just getting plenty of copy paper and a spiral notebook for each class. And gel pens. I don't know if I will be doing that either because we are going to have laptops and I'm probably going to take notes in Word, not on paper. We are engineering students, not English majors.” I winced slightly when I said that. I still wanted to write my romance novel. “Well, they were too expensive for a foster kid, so I never got one.” she said. “I had an old binder that said JamesSoft Human Resource Department on it. All my classmates had Trapper Keepers. If we needed crayons I would get a 64 pack with a sharpener instead of just eight crayons.” “I think I had a 96 pack of crayons,” I said. “Because you were rich and privileged,” she said. “Every time I colored it looked like they had Simpson skin.” “Anyway,” I said, “you probably don't want to carry more than you need for class each day. MIT is bigger than the campus at highschool. You won't have a locker.” She sighed. “I guess that is true.” She pulled the tray closer to her and and grabbed a hand full of fries. “McDonald's usually means something in my life is changing in a major way.” I smiled and almost laughed. I am glad I didn't because she said something personal and it would have been mean to laugh. “Yeah, my social worker took me to McDonald's before dropping me off with a new family. It was nice arriving somewhere after having eaten because I usually wouldn't be fed until the next meal.” I walked to the other side of the table and squeezed next to her so I could give her a hug. “Cassie, I'm sorry. That makes me so sad.” She hugged me back. “Well, I am a college girl now.” She smiled. ### We were back on the road for another few hours before we finally arrived back at MIT. The parking lot was full now. However, the few of us who drove had spots up front and there was a spot reserved for the van. Bets parked and then turned back to us. “Okay we are here. Go check into your dorms and then you are all set. I will meet you back here for supper and then I will make sure you can get your shopping done, then you are all set.” “What about the roommate assignments,” asked Veronica. “I e-mailed those in while we were connected to the McDonald's wi-fi,” she said. “What time do we meet you?” asked Bella. “Five o'clock,” said Bets. We all unloaded our gear from the van and entered the dorm building for the first time. I have to say, I was nervous. What if our rooms weren't as private as we thought? What if this scholarship was a known thing and our diapers weren't exactly a secret? I shuddered at the thought, but then realized we wouldn't have been warned about keeping quiet if it were known. Inside was a desk with the sign, “Resident Assistant” at the front. A poster said, “New students, sign in here.” A college girl sat at the desk behind a laptop. “Name?” she asked. Darlene and Veronica were at the front so they stood at the desk first. “I am Darlene Keene and this is my roommate Veronica English. Do you have our room ready?” she asked with a polite, but nervous tremor. The RA typed. “I got you in 401A. It's on the end, so it's a double. You two are lucky. There are only four doubles per floor and one of them is the RA's room.” “What's that mean?” asked Veronica. “You don't have to share a bathroom with anyone except for your roommate.” I started to feel worried. We were supposed to be protected from the other girls in the dorms from finding out our situation. “I'm Nora Stevens and this is my roommate Cassie…Cassie, what is your last name?” “It's just Cassie,” she said. “You got to have a family name,” said the RA. “I have to have a family to have a family name. I don't.” “Cassie, stop being difficult,” I said. “Tell her your last name.” “Fine,” she said. “It's Nova.” “I got a Cassie Nova here,” said the RA. She snickered. “You two are in 308A. That's on my floor. I am at 328A if you need me. And no sneaking in the dates after hours, Miss Cassie Nova.” “Is it a double?” I asked. I did not want to share the bathroom with anyone. “Not likely,” said the RA. I looked at Bella and Melody standing behind us. Melody hefted her teddy bear and frowned. “Do you know who our quad mates are then?” She looked down at her sheet. “Some girls named Melody and Bella.” “That's us,” said Melody. “That works,” I said. I took my key from her and Cassie did the same. We both headed to the elevator. ### The dorm room was tiny. It was a quarter of the size of my own bedroom at home and I had to share it. There were two tiny twin beds, two nightstands, two decent-sized desks, and that was it. Along one wall were two doors that led to closets and a third door to the bathroom. I threw my stuff on one of the beds and Cassie claimed the other. “Whew, I thought we'd be sharing the bathroom with strangers,” I said. “Yeah, not fun.” She lowered her voice. “Juvie was bad. We had common bathrooms and everyone knew. The other girls would steal my pants when I was showering and I had to walk back to the room with just my diaper and shirt. I can share with Melody and Bella.” I took the box of clothes from my bed and dumped it out. I had another box of hangers and I started to hang my clothes. I stuck them all in my closet. Cassie watched me and frowned. “Did you bring all your clothes?” She opened her suitcase and I could see that she maybe had twelve outfits. “No, I just brought my warm weather stuff. I'll bring my winter stuff when I go home for break.” She gave a look of shock at me and then I could tell how different we were. “Oh, that is all you have,” I said. We looked about the same size. I knew what I needed to do, but I didn't really know if I wanted to share my wardrobe with an incontinent girl. I sighed. “You can wear any of my stuff.” “Thanks,” she said. She looked at my unused hangers and gave a pleading look. “There is not much drawer space in here.” She opened the drawers in the bottom of the closet. She dumped socks and bras in the drawer, shorts in the middle one, and shoved her diapers in the bottom drawer. I gave her enough hangers to hang her stuff and we were pretty much settled. I still had one more box and I opened it. It had my desk stuff. I had a little clay cup I made in pottery class which I used as a pencil cup. I had painted flowers on it and it was girly and whimsical. The other thing I had was a Dr Who TARDIS USB hub that somehow stayed in my possession without being seized with the rest of my computer stuff. I also had a little bound book with my Internet passwords. By some miracle I had left it at Kara's house the night of the raid, so I still had it. The last thing I took out was my coffee mug. It had an open book on it and the caption read, “Hopeless Romantic.” Cassie's desk was mostly empty. I saw she pulled out a plaque that read “First Prize – North Senior High Science Fair” on it. “Wow, you were in a science fair?” I asked. She nodded. “I got lucky. The judges graded the entries before Ailina Mathiue sneaked into the gym and smashed my exhibit.” She frowned. “I took a Raspberry Pi computer and hooked it to motors. It was supposed to move a telescope to point at any object in the night sky. I used an astronomy program, but I controlled the motors with Python script I wrote myself.” “That sounds really cool,” I said. I had no idea what she was talking about. “I'm sorry someone ruined your exhibit.” She sighed. “Well I beat Ailina with her majorette baton. After I was through with her, she couldn't twirl a baton for the rest of high school.” She smiled. “And she looked like a raccoon with her two black eyes.” “That's terrible,” I said. Would she take her wrath out on me? “I thought I was a bad ass back then,” she said. “I never would have beaten her up if I knew I would get kicked out of school and sent to live with some real mean girls.” She shrugged. “I am in college now, so I don't have to worry about that anymore.” “It's nice that they still gave you the plaque,” I said. A tear ran down her cheek. “Felix brought it to me when I got out of juvie. That was when he gave me the news that he and Elisa wouldn't take me back.” Her talking turned into a sob and she turned and ran into the bathroom. “Wait,” I said, but she had slammed the door and locked it. I sat on my bed and opened my book bag. I sighed and then emptied the twelve novels I had out on the bed. I then stacked them on the shelf above the desk. I took the one I was reading and laid down and began to read. About twenty minutes later, I heard a knock at the door followed by frantic pounding. I got up and looked around and made sure no diapers were visible in the room and then opened the door. It was Bella and Melody. Melody had her hand held tightly onto the back of her pants. “Hurry and let us in. Our bathroom is locked from our side and Melody is about to crap her diaper,” said Bella. I let them in and then knocked on the door to the bathroom. “Cassie, come out. Melody needs the bathroom.” “Go away,” she yelled. Melody was bent over and she was breathing hard. “Please, no. I can't do this at college. I haven't done this since I was a little kid.” I thought of my incident at camp and blushed. I didn't wish that on anyone. I took out the bobby pins from my hair and bent one into a torsion wrench and the other, I straighten except for a little hook on the end. I stuck both pins in the lock and wiggled them a bit until the doorknob turned. Cassie had her head in the sink. Her eyes were red and splotchy when she looked at me. “How'd you get the door unlocked?” she asked. “Melody is pooping her pants,” I said. Melody rushed past me and pulled down her pants and diaper in one motion and sat on the toilet without waiting for Cassie to leave. She was not quiet as she pooped. Bella was not happy. “We were trying to get in for over ten minutes. How can you be so inconsiderate? You should be required to poop your pants so you know what she almost went through.” “You don't know what I was going through,” said Cassie. She still rubbed at her eyes. I lowered my voice. “I accidentally squirted perfume in her eyes. It's my fault.” I looked toward the open bathroom door. “We are sorry, Melody.” “It's okay. I made it all right,” she said. “Bella, can you go into our room and get me a dry diaper. I tore a tape getting them down and I will leak if I use this same one.” Bella went through the bathroom and came back with a diaper. I watched as Melody tried to change herself. She did a pretty good job fr not having done it before this week. Cassie pulled me aside. “Thanks for covering for me about crying. I am supposed to be tough, not a crybaby.” I nodded. “No problem.” She grabbed my forearm. “And you got to show me how you got that bathroom door open.” “What? A bad girl like you can't pick a lock with a bobby pin?” She smiled. “No, but that's why I like you.” Melody ad Bella returned to their room and Cassie and I just talked until it was time to go to Walmart. Chapter Fifteen: Shopping at Walmart “I found a Trapper Keeper,” said Cassie. She held up a puke green binder that said Trapper in white letters. She also had a handful of pocket folders. She also had a box of 96 crayons. “I also found crayons with a pencil sharpener.” She squealed in delight. I looked at her “Can you imagine any use case for crayons in college?” I just stared at her for a while before she sighed. She frowned. “I guess not.” She took the crayons out of her cart and put them back on the shelf. I showed off my stash. I had two separate stacks of six things each: pocket folders and spiral notebooks. In addition I had two packs of jelly pens, a pack of mechanical pencils, and some paper. I thought my current backpack was good enough. Cassie, had a new Jansport backpack, a ream of paper, some lined paper, spiral notebooks, and of course her Trapper Keeper. She had a big pack of ordinary Bic pens. “School supplies, check. Now we need some toiletries,” I said. We moved our cart over to the health and beauty section and Cassie went over to the lipsticks. “Of course I am stocking up on makeup. We got a $100 budget here.” She grabbed a few cheap items. They were about a tenth of what I paid at the department store. I didn't need makeup, so next we went to the other aisles. I grabbed a new toothbrush as mine was kind of getting gross. I picked up some toothpaste and shampoo and looked around. Cassie was gone. I walked up and down the aisle and then found her. She grabbed a box of pads and stuck them in her cart. I walked up to her. “Cassie, what are you doing?” She shrugged. “Nothing. Just getting toiletries.” I pointed at the pads. “Yeah, I started my period. What's the big deal?” “Cassie, we wear diapers. We don't need pads.” I waited a few seconds and then the light came on in her eyes. “Well, I…,” she started to say. “Cassie, you don't really need diapers, do you? You are faking this just for the scholarship.” She clapped one hand over my mouth and then gave a blank look as she stared at me. She held that position for almost a minute and then let go of me. “Nora, let's go to the bathroom right now.” She grabbed my hand and almost pulled me over. I pulled away from her and grabbed the pads out of the cart and put them back on the shelf. Veronica entered the aisle and I had put back the pads before she came around the corner. “What are you doing here?” asked Cassie. Veronica gave an angry look. “I'm low on Depends,” she hissed. She walked down the aisle to the incontinence section and grabbed a pack and then made a tent of folders and notebooks around it to hide the fact that she was buying diapers. “Well we are running to the bathroom for a change. Watch our carts,” said Cassie. She pulled me to the bathroom at the back of the store. We got in and went into a stall. She took down her jeans and showed me the front of her diaper. “I'm really incontinent. See?” She pointed at the yellow patch on her diaper and then frowned when she saw the diaper was also stained with period blood. So that was what she was doing when she held my mouth in the feminine hygiene aisle. She was wetting and on purpose to prove she was wet. “I saw you wet on purpose when I called you out as a faker.” She changed tactics. “Okay. I am faking incontinence. I stopped having daytime accidents about a month after I got out of juvie. I still wet the bed occasionally when I have a dream about juvie.” She shrugged. “So what are you going to do? Before you tell Bets on me, just know that this is the only chance for a science-loving foster kid to go to any college, let alone my dream school of MIT. Please don't take that away from me.” “I'm not going to tell,” I said. “How do I know that?” She had a feral look in her eyes. I think she was about to snap. I imagined Bets finding me dead in this stall. “I am faking too,” I said. “The IRS took my college fund and this was my only hope. Okay. We are both faking, so you don't have to hurt me to shut me up.” I pulled down my pants and diaper and sat on the toilet and peed. “See?” She smiled. “It's good you are my roommate. I was worried that I couldn't hide this all semester long without being reported.” I sighed with relief. “And you are right. Buying pads is a habit.” She looked down at her stained diaper. “Diapers do work as pads.” She pulled a clean diaper from her purse. “I'm going to change now.” We changed and straightened our clothing and returned to our carts. I was a faker and I was a lot worse than Cassie who had overcome legitimate issues. However, having a co-conspirator really did assuage my guilt. Chapter Sixteen: More Walmart After leaving the restroom, Cassie and I rejoined Veronica at our carts. "You guys took long enough," said Veronica. "You left me in this aisle of all places." She waved her hand to point to the diapers on one side of the aisle and the feminine hygiene products on the other. "What were y'all doing here anyway.?" I shrugged. "It's just in between where we were shopping," I said. "Cassie was looking at the makeup in the next aisle and I was getting a new toothbrush in the other aisle." "Well next time look around you before abandoning your carts for me to look after." She drove her cart away from us. We took our carts the opposite direction. "Do you suppose she suspects anything?" asked Cassie. "Not a chance." I said it louder and harsher than I meant to. In a quieter voice, I said, "She'll be even more resentful and most likely to go to Bets if she finds out, so let's keep quiet around her. He is content to hang out with Darlene, so we only have to deal with Melody and Bella." "Yeah, and we have the added bonus that we need to keep Melody from blowing our cover to everyone else about what this program is all about." Cassie looked around, but then shrugged. "At least she is willing to try to be a grownup." I nodded. We had all the items on our list, so we just walked around the store. As we passed the toy aisle, I saw Melody standing in front of the Lego display. She waved when she saw us. "What are you doing Melody?" I asked. "Just looking at toys," she said. She pointed at her cart. "I got everything on the list, so I thought I'd just kill time until time to leave." I looked in her cart. She had pens and pencils and notebooks and paper like I did. There were no crayons either. The only thing I thought was out of place was here Frozen backpack. I was concerned about how childish it was, but I decided to let it go rather than make a scene. She was the one who would have to carry it after all. Cassie looked on. "I love Legos. If I had any extra money I would get some," she said. “Felix and Elsa had Legos at their house. I used to build robots out of them and control them with a Raspberry Pi.” Melody shrugged. “My mother didn’t want me playing with Legos, so they were kept at my daddy’s house. I mainly had Lego Friends, not Lego Mindstorm, so I didn’t get to play with robots.” I felt completely lost. “Wait, what?” “We are engineering students,” said Cassie. “We all played with Legos.” “I haven’t,” I said. “I didn’t even know I wanted to be an engineer before Bets called me and told me I got the scholarship.” Cassie looked worried. “Did you take a computer programming course in high school?” I shook my head. “What about doing science fair? Popsicle stick bridges? Video games? Did you watch science fiction shows and wanted to be a rocket scientist?” I kept shaking my head. “I’m good at math and I love to read romance novels. I got a 33 on the ACT. I was eleventh in my class which disappointed me because I didn’t get to graduate first with the top ten. I had to wait all the way at the end with the rest of the S’s. I was supposed to major in English at Ohio State.” I looked at Melody and Cassie and they were just staring at me. “I though you were kidding about the whole yodeling thing,” said Cassie. “No,” I said. “I really had a choice between studying yodeling in Austria or engineering at MIT.” Melody smiled. “I’m just home schooled so I have no expectations of college. I didn’t do those science fair things either. Don’t worry. We can catch up on new experiences we didn’t have. You try so much to solve our problems that you never really tell us much about you.” I thought back on this whole adventure. Camp was so hectic and I did intervene between Bets and Cassie and teach Melody life skills. I shrugged. “I just went to school and enjoyed it. I wasn’t in sports or other extra curricular activities. I was just about going to prom.” Bella walked around the corner. “Oh there you are. Bets is ready and waiting to check out. Come up front.” We followed and went to the front where Bets paid for our purchases. Chapter Seventeen: Cassie Saves Us Money on Textbooks Cassie was shuffling stuff nosily on her desk. I woke up after my first night in the dorm and I quite frankly was not ready to get up. I was tired, but she was too busy moving around to notice she was waking me up. “What are you doing?” I asked. I had to pee badly and when I noticed the diaper I was wearing, I let go and wet. “I’m trying to figure out what to wear for our trip to the book store.” She put on a pair of white pants and looked behind her to see if her diaper was visible. “Don’t wear those,” I said. “I can read the wetness indicators through those pants.” Her face turned red and she hung the pants back in the closet. “Crap. I guess I shouldn’t even have these pants.” She grabbed a jeans skirt and pulled it on. She looked backward at herself and then bent over. “Can you tell?” “You aren’t going to be bending over in public. You wouldn’t do that if you weren’t wearing diapers.” I got up and put on my bathrobe. “I’m going to shower.” I started for the door. “Hurry up,” she said. “We got to get our textbooks.” I showered and then came back in the dorm room wearing only my diaper. I grabbed a bra and some soccer shorts and a t-shirt that had hearts on it. I pulled on some sneakers and sat on the bed to tie them. I then pulled my hair back in a messy ponytail and then grabbed my big purse. “I’m ready.” “Good,” she said. “We have $1000 each to buy our books. After that we got to go to the student computer store and pick up our new laptops. I am so excited.” We walked to the bookstore. It was quite a walk across campus, but it was a nice day. Cassie kept pulling down the back of her skirt and it was starting to bug me. “Stop touching your butt. Your skirt is long enough.” She took her hand away and we continued walking. We entered the bookstore and went into the engineering section. There were hardly any used books at all. When we had all the books we added the price up and it was well over $1200. “I can’t afford these,” she said. “I thought our book money would be enough.” I sigh. “Who would have thought that a Chemistry book would be $329?” I asked. “No one,” she said. “That is ridiculous. Put the books back.” I hesitated and put the chemistry book away. “No put them all away. We can get them cheaper online.” I sighed, but I complied with her. “We still can pick up our computers. We will need them to get our books online.” We walked over to the campus computer store. This semester, the computer was required for classes, so our financial aid covered the cost for freshmen. Since our financial aid was the scholarship, that meant the computers were waiting for us to pick them up. We got in line and after standing their for about an hour, we left with two brand new laptops and a huge debit on our financial aid account. Back in the dorm we had the computers set up. Cassie went online and got the list of textbooks and we were in business. Unfortunately, going online was not a better plan. It seemed like the edition of our textbooks we needed were new editions, so there was no deals on used books. I sighed. “Maybe we can share the books,” I said. “Or there are e- versions of our textbooks that are cheaper.” Cassie pulled up the information about the e-versions of the books. “They expire after one semester and I know we need that calculus book for Calculus I, II, and III. No. These people are thieves and I know how to deal with thieves who overcharge for textbooks.” “You are going to get us in trouble, aren’t you?” I asked. “No, but I know how to get some e-textbooks that never expire.” She closed her laptop and put it in her backpack. “You and I are going to Starbucks.” “Wait, why?” “We need to used the Internet.” I looked at my laptop that was connected to the Internet via campus Wi-Fi. “We have Internet.” She shrugged. “I’m not taking a chance of getting caught misusing the Internet my first day in college. We need off-campus Wi-Fi.” # We sat together at a table in the Starbucks. I sipped on my grande smoked butterscotch latte and watched as Cassie downloaded an IRC client onto her computer. She then found a warez chatroom and soon was downloading pdfs of all her textbooks. The two of us were taking the same classes, so we she copied them on a thumbdrive and gave them too me. “Why not e-mail them?” “Because. You can’t.” I sighed. “So I’m going to sit around with my computer to read my textbook?” I asked. “Well, with the money we saved on books we can get a tablet.” I was dubious, but we went back to the MIT computer store. They had tablets there and we were able to use the funds that were earmarked for textbooks on the tablets. I had a brand new $150 tablet with icons on it for each of the textbooks. I clicked an ICON and lay in bed flipping through my English text book. History, Calculus, and Intro to Engineering were the same. We did have to go to the book store and buy the lab book for one class that had tear out pages of assignments to turn in. “You are smart, Cassie.” I said. “I would have never thought of getting our books from a chatroom.” “Our generation missed out on the early Internet. It’s not just Facebook and Bit Torrent.” I grinned. “Yeah, our computers have Windows 10 and 1 Terabyte hard drives.” She tapped a few buttons on her computer. “And it’s a waste to give Windows that much drive space. I partitioned the hard drive and now I have Windows and Linux on my new computer.” “I don’t know Linux. I only use Windows.” I suddenly felt stupid. What if I put on diapers and then went to a school that I was unprepared to excel at? She laughed. “You have a lot to learn about being an engineer.” Chapter Eighteen: Melody’s Medical Diagnosis I was going to retort about Cassie lording her knowledge over me by using computer jargon to make me sound stupid, but Melody came through the bathroom door connecting our dorm rooms. “Hey, Nora. I have to go to the student health clinic to get my vaccines. You promised to come with me.” I stood up and adjusted my soccer shorts. “Yeah. Let’s go.” We walked to the clinic. Melody’s face looked white as a sheet. I rubbed her back as we walked. “Melody, it will be okay. Shots aren’t really that bad.” “Won’t they hurt?” “Just a little,” I said. “It hurts worse to get a paper cut.” “Oh, I hate those,” she said. “I’ll be with you,” I said. We got to the health center and sat in the lobby. There were about twelve students in the waiting room. Most of them looked like international students. They talked among themselves and didn’t come near us or try to make friends. I guess I could have initiated contact, but I just sat beside Melody as she filled out the health survey they asked her to fill out. “Should I put my bladder control problems down?” she asked me. “I thought it was supposed to be secret.” “Yes,” I said. “Answer everything truthfully and completely. The doctors and nurses can’t share the information with other people.” She started writing and then stopped when she got to the end. She got up and turned in the clipboard. While she wrote I got out my tablet and started reading ahead in my textbooks. The English textbook was interesting to me and I almost got lost before I heard the nurse call out a name. “Melody Franklin.” “That’s me,” said Melody. We went into the room. The nurse looked at me, but Melody smiled. “Nora is here for moral support. I’ve never had a shot before.” “Yeah, you will need quite a few shots. Well, let’s go.” She led us into an exam room and directed Melody to sit on an exam table. I sat in a chair in the room and we waited. In no time a nurse came in with a tray with about six shots on it. She held Melody’s arm and took the first needle. Melody stared at the needle and tensed her arm muscle. I knew it would hurt worse. “Hey Melody, it won’t be that bad. Just look at me and it will be over soon.” She stared at me and then let out a squeak as the nurse gave her the first vaccine. The needle didn’t bother her at all, but I know she felt a major discomfort when the nurse pressed the plunger on the syringe. “You did it,” I said. “Just five more.” I will say that Melody was pretty brave. She didn’t cry or act like a baby at all. When the shots were over the nurse looked at me. “Okay, Nora, I need to talk to Melody about something she wrote down on her medical survey sheet. I think she will want privacy for this. Wait in the lobby and we will be out shortly.” I left Melody in there alone. I wondered if I should have. In the long run she was fine. I walked out of the room and waited. I thought it would be about ten minutes to talk about whatever she wrote, which was probably about incontinence. However, I sat down playing games or reading from my tablet. I thought she would never get out of there, but she finally came out after two hours and she did not look happy. “Are you okay,” I asked. She didn’t answer, but left the clinic. I followed and she took my hand. “What’s wrong, Melody?” She pulled me behind some trees and just started balling? I held her against me and let her cry on my shoulder. “Was it the shots? They are over now?” “It’s not the shots,” she whispered. She sobbed and hiccuped before being able to talk again. “They asked about my incontinence and then ran some tests. They couldn’t find anything wrong and my lack of medical history meant there were no medical records. There is nothing wrong we me other than weak bladder muscles. My mommy told me all my life that something was wrong with me and that is why I needed diapers, but I think she was trying to keep me as her baby.” She sobbed and then sniffled. “Why would she do that?” I was appalled. “Are you saying your mother just didn’t potty train you?” She nodded. “I could have been a normal girl and gotten a boyfriend.” “No one says you can’t still be a normal girl,” I said. “Now that you know, you can train yourself.” She looked at me. “But the scholarship….” “There is no question you need diapers,” I said, “but I won’t tell Bets if you want to try to put diapers behind you.” She gave me a hug. I smiled. I wondered if any of us would have an actual need for diapers before four years were up. Chapter Nineteen: A Cute Boy and I’m Wearing This I was fully prepared to wear diapers for all four years of college. However, I hadn’t thought a situation where I could get a college boyfriend. I knew college boyfriends weren’t like high school boys. We were now adults and adults sometimes have sex. If I got a boyfriend, he would find out about the diaper and I couldn’t have that. But I’ve gotten ahead of myself. Melody and I walked back from student health after I got her calmed down from her cry about what she found out her mother had been doing to her. She looked at me. “What was potty training like?” I stopped suddenly. “Seriously? I was like three.” Honestly, I didn’t know how old I was when I was potty trained. My earliest memories involve me using the toilet by myself. I didn’t remember having a potty chair or anything. I had a little wooden stool that I used to climb up high enough to sit on the regular toilet. “I know it’s something three-year-olds are supposed to master, but my mother lied to me and said I couldn’t, so I don’t know what it was like. That’s why I am asking.” She looked angry, like I was holding back information from her or something. Maybe I was a bit dismissive in my answer, so I took her by both hands. “Melody, I don’t remember. I was three. Do you remember what you did when you were three?” She looked down. “I guess not. I remember my birthday. Vaguely. I had a My Little Pony birthday cake.” She looked down. “I’m sorry I snapped at you.” I shrugged. “I’m an only child, so I’m the wrong one to ask. Don’t mention this to Veronica at all.” “Oh yeah,” she said. “She would be mean instead of being happy for me.” I nodded. I wonder who said she was no good at social interactions. We continued around the tennis courts and were going to turn the corner when a hard form struck me and sent me sprawling onto the ground. I tried to suck in breath but it hurt to breathe in. “Are you all right?” I looked up and a really big student was kneeling over me. I slowly got my wind back and then just panted. “Why are you running around knocking girls down?” asked Melody. I sat up and looked around. My backpack lay on the ground about ten feet away. I looked down to my waist and fortunately, my diaper was covered. I landed hard on my arm, but it wasn’t broken. It was a little bit scrapped up. I looked up at the big man’s face and saw he was about the age of the rest of us. He wore a shirt that said Beavers. He was covered with sweat and I could tell he had just been running. He was also hot. “Yeah, I think I will be okay,” I said. He reached for my hand and pulled me to my feet and I swear there was a surge of electricity as he touched me. “Well I feel awful about knocking you down. Can I make it up to you by taking you to dinner? I got a gift card for the Olive Garden.” I smiled and then I stopped because I thought I was making myself look like a crazy person. “Yes. That would be nice. What time should I be ready.” “I’ll get you a seven.” He looked down. “Um, I am not carrying my phone since I am running. Do you have a pen and paper?” I grabbed my lost backpack and checked inside. My laptop was still in my dorm room, but the tablet was fragile and I checked it before grabbing out a pen and paper. The screen was intact. I wrote my number down. “I am living in the dorm next to Kesge Auditorium.” He smiled. “I know the one. I’ll pick you up then.” He waved and then continued his run. Melody looked at me. “Did you just get a boyfriend?” “I got a date,” I said. “It remains to be seen if he’ll want to be my boyfriend.” I tugged at my soccer shorts. “He’ll run away the second he sees my diapers though.” As we walked back to dorm, I wondered if I should cheat and skip the diaper. It’s not like Cassie would say anything if she saw me put on panties for my date. Chapter Twenty: The Date Cassie was missing most of the afternoon. I couldn’t find her anywhere since I came back from Student Health with Melody. She wasn’t in the dorm, nor was she in the common area. I shrugged. I had the room to myself. I sat down on the bed and started to program my class schedule into my new tablet. At about 4:30, I got a call from a number I didn’t recognize on my phone. “Hello?” “It’s Jonah Grueber. We ran into each other earlier and I asked you out. I am looking forward to sharing some Olive Garden with you.” “Oh, hi. I was hoping you would call.” My face burned with embarrassment. I hope I didn’t seem too eager. I wanted to date that guy so bad. I also wanted some Olive Garden. I hadn’t eaten anything except McDonald's and camp food since I began this adventure. “I was hoping to talk to you to,” he said. “It was fate that I ran into you.” “I was just in the right place at the right time,” I said. I smiled and then moved my phone from my right ear to my left ear. “So why were you running around out there?” He laughed on the other end of the line. “I was working out. I’m on the football team and was trying to improve my endurance so I can get more playing time.” “Cool, football. What position do you play?” I wouldn’t know a fullback from a shortstop, but I didn’t want him to think I was an idiot. “Umm, I’m kind of a bench warmer, but I am still a freshman and I may get some playing time. Until then, I am just paying my dues until I get more seniority on the team.” “I’m a freshman too,” I said. I then tried to steer the conversation to something I could follow a bit better. “What’s your major. I am engineering.” “Me too,” he said. “Cool that we have that in common.” I shrugged. “It’s more common at MIT then other colleges, I suppose.” He laughed. “Well I will give you a chance to get dressed for our date. I will pick you up about six.” “I am room 308A,” I said. “Well, see you. Bye.” He hung up. I put down my phone and then flew into a panic. It was now five o’clock and I tore open my closet door and the sifted through my dresses. I chose a blue one that went down to my knees and then I lay it on the bed. My bra was too thick and white, so I grabbed a sexier colored bra. I then opened my panty drawer and then remembered what I was wearing. Kara and I had a panties-burning party before I left and I didn’t have the appropriate foundation garment for my date. Instead, I pulled out a clean diaper and threw it on top of the clean bra and dress. I grabbed a pair of sandals with blue stones on them and put them by the pile. I didn’t have time to do my hair, but I wore a wet diaper and I wanted a shower. I hurried in and then started the water, being careful not to get my hair wet. I paid close attention to my diaper area and made sure I didn’t smell like pee and that my legs weren’t hairy. Satisfied, I returned to my bed and put on my clothes and underwear I had picked out before realizing that I could not zip up the dress. I turned my back to the mirror, and the diaper was clearly visible beneath the zipper closure on the dress. “Hey, Nora, I hope you aren’t hogging the bathroom,” called Cassie as she ran in. “I have a date tonight with a real boy.” “A real boy?” I asked. “Are you sure he is not made of wood?” Cassie laughed. “He better be made of wood.” She tossed a pink shopping bag on her bed and then tried to pull me from the bathroom. “Okay, I’m almost done. Just zip up my dress first,” I said. I turned and let her zip me. She closed the door and I heard her undress and then water start to run. The little pink bag on her bed looked familiar. She needed a better bra if she was going on a date. Hers were pretty sad. I checked one more time to make sure the diaper wasn’t showing. That’s the last thing I wanted the new boy to find that his new date still wore diapers. Still I shoved two clean spares into my purse and then got ready for my date to arrive. I had no plans of wetting, but I knew that if I used the toilet, I couldn’t retape a diaper. There was a knock at the door and I froze. He was here. I looked around and then kicked the dirty diaper that I had left on the floor into my open backpack and zipped it closed. I went to the door and looked out. A boy was there, but he wasn’t Jonah Grueber. He was tall and skinny. He wore glasses with thick brown frames and he actually had a pocket protector full of pens in his pocket. In the hall behind him was a dolly with a long wooden box balanced on it. “Hi, I’m Milton Jones. Is Cassie ready?” I was speechless. This was her date? He looked like such a geek. I looked over to the bathroom and shook my head. “She isn’t ready yet. I will tell her you are here. I shut the door and ran over to the bathroom. “Cassie, your date is here.” She came out of the bathroom naked and wet. She grabbed some clothes from the upset clothes basket on her bed, then ran back to the bathroom. She was only in there fro a little bit longer before she came out again, fully dressed. She wrapped her wet hair in a pony tail. “Is he on the way up?” she asked. “No. He is right outside the door.” She opened the door and let Milton in. He smiled, oblivious to her drowned rat hairstyle as he carted in his long box. Once she shut the door, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed Milton on the lips. He put his arms around her and held her close. “So, what’s in the box?” I asked. “It’s a ten inch reflective telescope,” he said. “Milton built it himself and he offered to take me out to look at the stars.” she said. There was a knock at the door and I opened it. It was Jonah. He looked at Milton and got a hurt look in his eyes before he saw that it was Cassie and not me that was hanging all over him, I grabbed my purse off the bed and smiled. “I’m ready Jonah.” I gave him my hand and we started on our date.\ ### The Olive Garden wasn’t really busy on a Wednesday despite being move in day at the university. I wore a lilac corsage that Jonah had made for me and presented to me in his minivan on the way to the restaurant. He was so sweet. No one had ever arranged flowers for me. The only corsage I have ever been presented was for senior prom and that was store-bought. Jonah was so nice. We had to sit for a while to be seated, but when we were, he pulled out my chair and adjusted it for me to sit. He also held every door. “You’re so polite,” I said, after the waitress had seated us and left us breadsticks. He only smiled. “I’m big and mean, so I have to be extra careful to be gentle. Besides, I already knocked you down once, so I am already at a disadvantage. I really hope I am doing okay on this date.” “You are doing fine,” I said. I picked at my breadstick and nibbled on it. I was trying to avoid bread. As it was, the carbs from the lasagna I planned to order would make me full, heavy, and disgusting. “Good,” he said. “I’ve never been on a date before. I’m kind of new at this.” Most guys had dated by college and most expected a college girl to put out. Jonah seemed different. He wasn’t pressuring me to have sex. He seemed to just enjoy sitting with me. I had to reward him, so I was totally going to have sex with him. I thought about the diaper I was wearing and how I was going to hide it. Maybe I would just go commando once I got to his house. That would work. “So what are you thinking?” he asked. No way was I going to answer that question. “I’m just thinking about college. I didn’t know I wanted to be an engineer until I decided to go to MIT.” “Really? What else is there besides math, science, and engineering?” he asked. I shrugged. I think STEM also includes technology. It’s one of the big parts about MIT.” He laughed. “Yeah, I guess.” “So why no high school girlfriends? How were you a football player and not have a cheerleader to date?” All the football players at my high school dated cheerleaders. He shrugged. “I could only stay on the team if I kept my grades up. My mother said I had to quit the team if I got an A-. I was too busy with football practice and school work to date.” I looked at Jonah. I was so dumb. I didn’t belong at MIT. Everyone else was so smart. Cassie’s date built his own telescopes, Jonah held an A in every class while being a football player, Melody home schooled herself, and Cassie won first prize in a science fair. They would all know what a faker I was. I wasn’t just faking incontinence, I was faking at being an MIT student. “What’s wrong? You look upset.” I looked at him. “Sorry. Everyone I met so far is so much smarter than me. I don’t think I have what it takes.” He took my hands. “Yeah, you do. Just have faith in yourself and do all the homework exercises. My brother went here before me and he said if you do the homework even though they aren’t required, you will know how to answer the test questions because they are set up the same.” I was about to say something negative, but the waitress came back with our drinks. “Are you ready to order?” I nodded and Jonah said, “Yes, ma’am.” He waved to me and I took it as a signal to order. “Lasagna.” “Grilled chicken piadina,” he said. She left us and we started talking again. So what do you like to do when you aren’t studying?” I smiled then frowned. I could talk about what I liked to do, but then he would think I am stupid. I wasn’t sure what to do. I was omitting the diaper-wearing part of me, so I had a feeling that I should be honest about some things. “I like to read. I like to read trashy romance novels. I know they are all formulaic, but I don’t care. I love them and just want them to come true for me sometime.” He smiled. “I like to read too. I am a science fiction fan. It’s how I got a love for engineering. I wanted to be the one to build the space stations in 2001, A Space Odyssey. I’m not a Star Wars or Star Trek fan because there is no science in those stories, but 2001 had accurate science.” “Really?” I asked, my tone doubtful. “Well maybe not the giant space baby.” “A giant space baby?” I asked. “I’ve never seen the movie.” “I got the DVD,” he said. “You want to watch it with me?” I wanted to understand more about Jonah and I bet I should have the science fiction repertoire of the average MIT student. “Sure,” I said. ### The meal was delicious. I had eaten way too many bread sticks and I had eaten the entire plate of lasagna. My stomach was distended and I looked down at my belly and thought about how fat I looked in my dress. Jonah didn’t seem to mind. He drove us to a local park and we got in the back of the minivan together. The headrests contained TV screens. He put in the 2001: A Space Odyssey DVD and I cuddled up next to him as we watched the movie. His hand touched my bare thigh and I put my hand on top of his. We watched the movie and gotten past the apes and past the moon mission. We were to the part where the Discovery One crew was being interviewed when his hand crept slowly up my thigh. I froze. I wanted this, but I didn’t have a chance to change out of my diaper. I wondered what he would do and I didn’t want to find out. I grabbed his hand with both of mine and pulled it away. “Oh, sorry. Am I making you uncomfortable?” I took his hand in both of mine and pressed it hard against my chest. “I’m just not ready today. Let’s just keep the hands above the waist.” I was feeling wet from the stimulation on my inner thigh and I wasn’t really prepared to explain my underwear. The movie continued on and we both watched it. He still held me in his arm, but he never again touched my legs. My boobs got touched quite a bit it honestly felt really good. I never had been touched there before. I don’t think he would have dared to touch them if I didn’t specifically moved his hand to cup them to distract him from discovering my diapers. The movie continued all the way to the giant space baby. Honestly, I was unimpressed. What was the space baby even there for? I thought about my special underwear and thought that the only baby in the minivan was me. The credits began to roll and my phone rang. I hit the back button to send the call to voicemail and looked at Jonah. “So what did you think?” he asked. “I enjoyed it, but I didn’t understand the space baby.” “It’s explained in the next movie.” He paused. “Sort of.” Another pause. “Well, not at all. It’s human’s next evolutionary step forward.” I gave him a kiss and my phone rang again. I sent the call to voicemail and looked who was calling. It was Cassie. I had six text messages and I looked and they were all from her. The last one said, “Help. Come get me.” I called her right away. “What’s wrong?” “Finally you answered. Why didn’t you pick up?” She did not sound happy. “Um, I’m on a date.” I looked at Jonah who looked left out. “Nora, you got to come get me. I am all alone and I am uncomfortable.” Cassie sounded panicked. “What happened to your date?” I asked. I was annoyed she was keeping me from Jonah. “We had an argument. He left me here alone. You need to come get me.” “Where are you?” I asked. “At a gas station. I’ll text the address.” “He left you at a gas station?” “Yes. Oh, and stop at the dorm and get me a change of clothes.” “What happened, Cassie?” She just started crying on the phone. My phone binged and an address came up on the screen. I copied the address into a mapping program and found out how far away she was. I hung up the phone and texted, “We’ll be there.” I looked up to Jonah. “Hey my roommate got in a fight with her date and he left her in the middle of nowhere. Can you please take me to get her.” I then explained that we had to stop at the dorm for clothes for her. I wondered what she did that she needed extra clothes. I wondered if her boyfriend got aggressive and tore her clothes and left her because she wouldn’t put out. Suddenly I hated Milton, her nerd date. ### I sat in the passenger seat of the minivan holding a pair of blue jeans wrapped around a clean diaper and a clean t-shirt. The minivan powered onward down the highway, a small two lane road going through the country. We drove a bit until we got to a small town. The town wasn’t that large and the only light that was turned on was from a gas station. The gas station was closed and a young woman sat on the curb in front of the building. Jonah pulled in and we got out. Cassie looked up from where she sat on the curb and then stood up. She had a sheepish look on her face and as I studied her and why she needed new clothing, it looked like her pants were very wet. Jonah looked shocked as he noticed her wet pants as well and Cassie began to cry as she noticed Jonah had noticed the state of her clothing. I went up to her and pulled her into a hug. “I’m here, Cassie.” “Let’s just make this night go away,” she said. I broke away from her and grabbed her stack of clothing. I then looked at Jonah. “Can you look away for a while while Cassie changes?” He nodded and started walking down the street. I took Cassie by the shoulder and guided her to the lee of the front door of the minivan. She wasn’t happy and but she pulled down her pants and panties and stepped out of them. I looked at the panties with disapproval. “What happened?” She looked down. “I peed in my sleep.” She took the diaper I brought and frowned, but put it on. She then pulled on the dry pants. “And the panties?” I asked. I grabbed a grocery sack from the minivan and picked up her dirty clothes and shoved them in the plastic bag. “Well we finished looking at the telescope and we cuddled. I was so comfortable I kinda fell asleep in his arms. I woke up with a very angry Milton waking me. He just packed up the car and left me alone in the middle of no where. I had to walk two miles to get to a gas station.” “Why were you wearing panties?” I repeated. “You know the other girls might find out we’re faking it.” “I was on a date, Nora. If Milton acted this way when I peed myself, how do you think he would have reacted if he discovered my diapers?” She grabbed the bottom of my dress and yanked it up, exposing my diaper. “How did your date react to your diaper?” “I didn’t tell him,” I said. “And shut up. Here he comes.” Jonah was walking back to us and I waved him over. When he got to us, I pulled him into a tight hug. “Thanks so much for doing this. I know this isn’t the best date misadventure to have happen.” “It’s not,” he said, “but I think it was terrible her date left her in the middle of nowhere.” He leaned in close. “No matter what you do, I won’t leave you in the middle of nowhere.” “Can we please go back to campus?” asked Cassie. “Um, sure,” said Jonah. I got in the van and rode shotgun while Cassie took one of the seats in the back. When Jonah got into the driver’s seat I leaned over to him. “I’m so sorry I ruined our date. I promise I’ll put out next time.” He blushed furiously and I smiled at him. I had picked a winner. ### Cassie lay on her bed and started to cry. I sat beside her and just rubbed her back and tried to make her feel better. “I’m so gross. What guy wants a girl who occasionally wets in her sleep?” she asked. “Is it just occasionally?” I asked. She looked up at me. “Of course it is. The last time was the night before I left for camp.” I touched the plastic of my wet diaper. I had made it through dinner and through that long movie, but I couldn’t hold it on the drive to get Cassie and I just wet my diaper in the car. I sighed. I wondered what Jonah would have though if I had let him discover the diaper under my dress. I got Cassie to get ready for bed and then I went to bed myself. My diaper was wet, but I wasn’t really in the mood to change, so I decided to go to bed wet. I took off my dress and replaced it with a t-shirt and soon fell asleep thinking about warm and pleasant thoughts. Chapter Twenty-One: The First Day of Classes After the exciting events of our mutual date night, Cassie had disappeared. I had no idea what had become of her and I was starting to get worried. I tried messaging her, but she didn’t answer. I asked around and she neither told Bella nor Melody where she was going. Melody had seen her with a dufflebag. After deciding that she had given up after her humiliating date and gone home, I gave up and got in bed the night before classes. When I woke up in the morning, there was a Cassie-sized lump in her bed and I sat up excited. “Cassie!” I sat up and went over to her bed. She rolled over and scowled at me. She looked tired and I had gone to bed shortly before midnight, so she had to have come home late. “What time is it?” she groaned. “It’s 6:03 am. Classes start today. And where where you?” “Oh yeah.” She threw off the blankets and got up. I looked down and she was diapered again, but it looked like she was dry. “Did you pick your outfit already?” I looked at her. “That’s it? You disappeared for two days and you are asking about outfits? Why didn’t you text me when I was texting you over and over for two days? I was getting worried.” “I didn’t get a text.” She walked over to her desk and opened the drawer and pulled out her cell phone. She flipped it open and looked at it a bit and then grabbed the charger cord and plugged it in. “The battery died.” “So where were you?” “I was hanging out at my boyfriend’s house?” she said. “I’m sorry I forgot the phone and made you worry.” “You will have to introduce us later,” I said. “You met Milton,” she said. “The same guy that left you out in the middle of no where?” “I know what you are going to say. We met up again near the planetarium and he walked over to me and apologized. I’ve been at his house rewatching Star Wars and Lord of the Rings.” “And explaining the situation we are in?” I asked. “No. I am not going to explain that to him right now.” “So besides watching two movies and not telling him about the diapers, what else did you guys do?” “We cuddled mostly and we watched way more than two movies. We watched six Star Wars movies and three Lord of the Rings moves.” I frowned and then walked over and gathered up my toiletries to get ready. “There are six Star Wars movies?” I put them down again. “Never mind. I know everyone here has seen those movies, so why watch them all again?” “I never saw the prequels before the original trilogy. It changes your perspective on the movie. And I also read a theory that Jar Jar was an evil Sith mastermind the whole time and I wanted to know if that theory fit into the narrative of episodes four through six.” She looked at me “Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.” “The movies are beside the point. If Milton hurts you again, you need to call this off. Leaving you in front of a gas station out in the middle of no where was inexcusable.” I grabbed my clothes, a clean diaper, and my toiletries and went into the bathroom. # When I finished showering and dressing, I heard a knock at the door from the other side. I opened it and Bella came out of her room. “Are you done? I have an eight o'clock class.” I nodded and left the bathroom and threw my stuff on the bed and then started sorting my stuff. “Listen,” she said. “Milton and I have so much in common. We like the same types of things: space, stories about space, and hobbits. I know he was a jerk, but all guys are jerks sometimes.” “So, let’s change the subject,” I said. “Does this outfit work for the first day?” I spun around. I wore a brown knee-length dress and white Converse. I had transferred my purse stuff to a white canvas bag that was the exact color of the shoes and had plenty of room for the extra toiletries I needed to work around this scholarship. Cassie giggled. “Well not if you spin around.” I froze and the ran to the mirror and turned around and tried to bend over. The mirror was too tall to see if I was flashing people because it was just for brushing hair, not a full length look at an outfit.” Cassie giggled again. “It’s knee-length. It covers you diaper. Just don’t spin or bend over: dress wearing 101. It’s not different in diapers.” “I know and I nagged you about this.” I walked over to her closet and grabbed a dress and tossed it to her. “Here is your outfit.” “Fine,” she said. She took the dressed and then opened her dresser. She took out her pink shopping bag and started to unroll it. I grabbed her wrist. “Just because you are faking, doesn’t mean you can wear panties. You are putting on a diaper.” She frowned but nodded. “Yeah. All I need is Bella or Melody to rush in here by mistake and this will be over.” She grabbed one of her diapers and wrapped the dress loosely around it. She took a bra and her toiletries and ran to the bathroom only to find the door locked. She knocked. “I’ll be out in a little bit,” called Bella. Cassie turned toward me and shrugged. “Well it could be worse. I had to share a bathroom with ten girls when I lived in the group home.” She did a little pee dance and then just stopped and relaxed. I watched her wet her diaper. When she finished, she smiled. “Yeah. Long lectures won’t be a problem for us.” “I’m done,” Bella called from the bathroom. We heard the lock click open. Cassie hurried to get ready. Chapter Twenty-Two: The First Class I had walked our route from class to class before the morning classes began, so I was already to go. Cassie had not. “Are you sure this is the right way?” she asked. “Of course it is. Instead of watching old movies I saw before, I made sure I was ready for classes. I mapped out our course. I was a Girl Scout. Our motto was ‘Be Prepared.’” “That is the model of the Boy Scouts,” said Cassie. “They both have the same motto,” I said. She took out her tablet and started tapping. “Scouting is expensive and my foster parents said it was only for their real children.” She found what she was looking for and said. “I just assumed the mottoes would be different.” “We are here,” I said. We walked into a mostly empty classroom. There was a guy in the corner wearing headphones connected to an iPhone that was on his desk. He wore sunglasses and had a cap pulled low. Instead of a sports team it was decorated like R2D2’s dome. We selected desks in the second row of the classroom. I sat down carefully and I watched as Cassie took the seat next to me. She carefully pulled her skirt under her and tried to cross her leg over her knee. She blushed and I realized the bulk of her diaper kept her from crossing her legs. She gave up and just sat with her knees close together and crossed her legs at her ankles. I sat in the same mode she did. She took out her tablet and her Trapper Keeper and then started writing in a notebook. “This class is a waste of time,” she told me. “I wanted to major in English, so watch it,” I said. I took out my new computer and then turned it on. I then started a file folder for English and then opened a Word document for my notes. I then shut the lid of my laptop. “Well, I knew I would have to take the same classes in college as I did in honors classes in high school. I just don’t care to write about what I did last summer or a persuasive essay on whether someone should vote for Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump.” “I am hoping we will have essays of more substance than those topics.” I didn’t want to write about being humiliated by the IRS swat team and then having to take a scholarship that required me to wear diapers. “Like what?” She fumbled through the syllabus she picked up by the door. “Write a story based on a poem by Keats or Shelly. I don’t even know who Shelly was?” “He is a romantic poet and he was married to the woman who wrote Frankenstein.” Her interest peaked. “Really? I love the old monster movies. Felix and I used to watch them before I was sent to juvie.” Some nerd in the next row gave her a weird look. He then picked up his bag and moved to the other side of the class room. She got a hurt look on her face. “Everyone is a nerd here. They aren’t used to being around people that were in juvie or talk about it openly.” I said this in a whisper. She nodded and then tried and failed again to cross her legs. She leaned over and whispered to me. “Tomorrow, you and I are going to skip diapers and wear panties. Tonight we are going to Victoria’s Secret.” I groaned. This again. We were going to get caught for sure. Then I thought about it. I didn’t really care to be sitting around in my own waste. It’s not like the other girls in the scholarship program would be looking in our pants to make sure we were diapered. “Okay, but we still wear them around the dorm. We do share a bathroom with Melody and Bella.” “Do you think they will say anything? “Bella might, but it’s doubtful. Melody already feels cheated and lied to, so I’d wait and see on her.” “What is her deal. She went out shopping and wouldn’t show Bella or I what she bought.” “She got bad news. I won’t betray her confidence by telling you.” She nodded, but class started before anything else was said. # o not Cassie. nd I will bring them."pants and one of my diapers from the room."bout it. I didn'r side of the class room." “We just had three classes and we already got loaded with homework and it’s only the first day,” I complained. “And we got two more classes tomorrow,” she said. “Let’s go to the mall so we got time to get back and study.” I nodded, but my phone rang. “Hello?” It was Melody. She wanted me to find her. “Where are you?” “In the library bathroom. Bring some pants and one of my diapers from the room.” “Okay. Cassie and I will bring them.” “No not Cassie. I don’t want her to see me like this.” I didn't know what to make of her. She was never shy about leaks before. She never said she had a leak, but I assume that is why she needed a change of pants and an extra diaper. “Okay. I’ll get them and bring them to you.” “And don’t look in the Hello Kitty bag on the floor of my closet.” “I promise,” I said, although I wondered what she was hiding in the Hello Kitty bag. “See you in about ten minutes.” I hung up. “What was that about?” asked Cassie. “I don’t know. It will just take me fifteen minutes to bring Melody what she wants. Stay at the dorm and I’ll meet you in time to run to the mall with you.” Cassie and I went to the dorm and I went through the bathroom to Melody’s room. I didn’t know which closet was hers, but I knew that she had a Hello Kitty bag on the floor. Upon finding it, I grabbed a pair of pants from her closet. I then found a pack of diapers. It was a plain white pack with only a green block with an M on it. I wrapped the diaper in the pants and then took off to the library. I climbed up the stairs and then texted Melody to ask what bathroom she was in. “The girls room next to the Athena computer lab.” I climbed higher and then entered the bathroom. Inside, a trail of pee lead to one of the stalls. “Melody?” “Nora, I’m in here.” A stall door opened and Melody emerged with a large pee stain running down both legs into her shoes. I looked at her. “Melody, what happened. It looks like you are not wearing a diaper at all?” She frowned and held up a Potty Training for Dummies book. “I’m not. I made it all day and then I couldn’t make it to the bathroom after my last class. I peed right as I walked in the bathroom.” There was a lot of pee on the floor. The puddle expanded out into the stalls on either side of the stall Melody was in. “How long did you hold it?” “About three hours. I peed in the potty at lunch and then held it until just before I got in the bathroom. The book doesn’t say how to clean up peed in pants. Toilet paper doesn’t dry it out.” I was impressed. “You are potty training yourself?” She nodded. “My mommy told me I was incontinent and I just wasn’t potty trained.” She looked down. “Maybe I am just too naïve to use the toilet.” “Well let’s get you changed and back to the dorm.” She pulled down her pants revealing Super Girl panties. She then took those off too and then changed into the diaper I handed her. However she had to exit the stall to pull on her jeans to avoid dipping them in the puddle. I helped her dress, and then put her peed in shoes on over her peed in socks. “Thanks, Nora.” She looked at me. “Do you think I should give up the potty training?” I shook my head. “No, keep it up. You deserve to wear panties again. Just don’t try to hold it three hours.” She nodded. “I thought I could make it. I was only squirming half an hour.” I laughed. “When you are squirming, it is an emergency. Go pee. Ask the professor if you can go to the restroom, or better yet, you are an adult: just excuse yourself and go pee in the toilet.” “So is that when you go potty? I mean before you were incontinent?” I nodded, feeling bad about lying to her. She followed me back to the dorm as the two of us bonded. I held her hand as we walked back to the dorm. Cassie was waiting. “What happened? It’s been twenty minutes, not fifteen.” “I didn’t bring enough supplies and I leaked,” said Melody. She squeezed my hand. “Yeah, I brought her a new diaper and extra pants.” I said. Cassie hugged me. “You are the designated pants and diaper bringer, I guess.” She giggled. Melody looked confused. “Nora brought me a diaper and extra pants already,” she said. “Shall we go to the mall, Nora?” I nodded. Melody waved at us and went into her room. “I got to do laundry,” she said. I took Cassie to me car and we went to the mall. I looked forward to wearing panties again. I wasn’t even a bed wetter, yet two others in our group were back in panties and I was still in diapers. I meant to correct that and getting new panties at Victoria’s Secret was a step in that direction. Chapter Twenty-Three: Shopping at the Mall I drove us to the mall. It had been a few months since I went to the mall, which was awful for me because the mall was my usual haunt. Armed with my dad’s credit card I could buy enough clothes to dress in style. This time I had no credit cards and was using my meager allowance that came with the scholarship to do my shopping. I was satisfied with the little bit of cash every month I had saved by just eating in the dorm’s cafeteria and not going out to eat. At least it wouldn’t be tracked like dad’s credit card would have been. All that stuff was gone until the lawyers and the IRS figured out whatever they had to figure out. I looked around the mall. Oh how I missed Hot Topic, Aeropostal, and Macy’s too. I also missed Victoria’s Secret and I missed underwear that didn’t need to absorb two cups of liquid. Cassie took my had as we went into the mall. “I’m really glad you are doing this with me,” she said. “I know you are faking too, but you have actually been faithful about diaper wearing. I don’t want to be caught by Bets as the only one.” I shrugged. “Melody is going to have problems in that regard too.” “But she has a good reason. I can’t believe her mother purposely tried to keep her a toddler.” Today Melody was all grown up. “She managed to toilet train herself, not to mention, she basically home schooled herself with educational materials her father left with her during his two weeks of visitation.” Cassie laughed. “I didn’t know that was her home schooling experience, but it’s no wonder that woman was divorced.” We walked along the halls of the mall toward Victoria’s Secret. However, when we walked by the shoe store I got excited. “Look at those sandles.” I looked at the price. They were $40.00, but there was a 75% off sign on them. I steered Cassie toward the store. “Don’t tell me you want to forgo panties for a pair of sandles.” She leaned closer to me. “I know you are still wearing a diaper.” “It’ll only be a few minutes,” I said. I was still wearing the same slightly damp diaper since lunch time and I was ready for my trip to Victoria’s Secret, but I wanted those shoes. I held up the display shoe to the clerk. I want one of these in an 8.” I sat down and waited. Soon the shoes were brought and then after I was satisfied that they fit, they were bought. I carried them in a shopping bag and we left the shoe store. “Besides, if someone asks us what we bought we can say shoes.” Cassie nodded. “Well it didn’t delay us that long from Victoria’s Secret.” She pointed at the displays of panties. “Have at it.” I entered just as some other girl was leaving. She set off the alarm and the clerk stopped her. Cassie grinned. “Imagine trying to steal panties,” she whispered to me. “If I were going to shoplift, I wouldn’t steal panties,” I said. “What would you take? I mean if you knew you wouldn’t get caught.” I thought about it. “I’d just take the cash from the till. We are only talking hypotheticals here.” I went to the bin that had my size. I didn’t know what I wanted. Should I go with bikini, French-cut, or boy shorts. I wasn’t going to wear a thong because they ride up more than other panties. I decided I had some money to spend so I selected some of each. I made my selections and then paused. One of the panties had a matching bra. I decided that I had to have it. I grabbed one my size and went to a fitting room. After trying on the bra, I decided to buy it. I took my purchases to the cashier. “I want this bra and these,” I said. I laid the panties on the counter next to the bra. “That will be $48.97,” the clerk said. I handed over my money and watched as she packed my purchases in the signature pink bags. “All set.” Cassie handed the clerk a naughty teddy. “Milton said he wanted to see me in something like this,” she said to me. She handed over a Victoria’s Secret credit card and paid. I was shocked. How did she get a credit card being an orphan? “Where did you get the credit card?” She smiled. “Milton got it for me to make up for leaving me behind at the gas station. I get the underwear and he gets the bill.” She smiled. Her purchases were bagged and we were ready to go. As we left, the alarm rang. I looked at Cassie and she looked at me, but she looked as surprised as me. A manager walked over. “Ladies, can we check your bags?” I reached into my pink bag and pulled out the receipt. “Everything I bought is paid for.” “Go through the sensor one at a time please.” Cassie went first. I am sorry to say that I expected the alarm to go off when she went through because I thought she might actually have tried to shoplift something. The alarm was silent. I walked through and the alarm blared again. The clerk left her cash register and stood between me and the entrance to the mall. I stood frozen. I handed over my pink bag to the manager. She went over the items I bought and compared them to the receipt. Only the bra had had a sensor and the clerk had removed it when she put it in my bag. She put my items back in the bag and then looked at my bag from the shoe store and my purse. “Hand me your other bags.” I hesitated. “We can call the police if you don’t let us look.” I remembered the sounds of the flash bangs and then being pulled roughly from my bed and thrown on the floor. I remembered the hot flush of urine soaking my pajamas. As I remembered wetting myself the night of the raid, I realized I was wetting my diaper in the store. I didn’t really want to deal with the police, so I handed her my purse. I only carried my tablet, my phone, my money, my ID, and two extra diapers. As the manager emptied these items on the counter, I heard the cashier giggle. The manager looked at the diapers. “Why do you have these?” I tried to think of a lie, but saying I had them because I was incontinent wouldn’t work. I was buying panties which I wouldn’t need if I had to wear diapers all the time. “It doesn’t matter why she has them,” said Cassie. “They are not stolen merchandise, so it is none of your business.” She took my shoebox from the shoe store bag. “She has a receipt for her new shoes too.” She waved the shoe box over the alarm sensor and the alarm went off.” The manager and Cassie looked like they had a lightbulb going on over their heads. Cassie examined the shoe box and peeled a sensor off the bottom of the shoe box. “This is what set off your alarm.” “I guess I owe you an apology,” said the manager. “You owe her more than that,” said Cassie. She motioned to the diapers. “You embarrassed my roommate in front of the whole store.” I looked around, but the store was pretty empty. I gathered the contents of my purse so the diapers were out of sight. Why I gathered my items, the manager was tapping something on the cash register while Cassie glared at her. “Let’s go,” I said when I had everything. The sales girl was still suppressing a giggle and I wanted to leave. But Cassie waited. The manager finished typing and then she handed me a pink card. “Just so there are no hard feelings, here is a gift card to the store.” I took it, but I wanted out of there. My diaper was really wet and I wanted to change. I walked out of the store and walked strait toward where I thought the bathrooms were. Cassie was right behind me. She was smiling. “You spent less than fifty dollars and you walked out of there with a $100 gift card. You made out great.” I pulled close to Cassie and put my mouth near her ear. “I just had an accident when she threatened to call the police. If I was wearing my panties, this would have been even more embarrassing. I am too overwhelmed to change right now and I am about to leak.” Cassie took my hand and lead me to a family restroom. Although I had my new panties, I let her change me into another diaper. ### I was still shaking so it took me over an hour of sitting in the car before I was able to drive. “I’d like to help, but I’ve never driven a car.” “Never?” I asked. “Would you trust a foster kid with the keys to the car? This one family locked me in the trunk every time we took a car trip.” “Your stories are so sad,” I said. “I can’t believe you got that scared though,” she said. “That lady couldn’t have done anything to you.” I frowned. “It’s not that. As soon as she mentioned the police, I felt like I was in my room when the IRS raided my home. It was awful.” I shook again and had to pull over and park in a parking lot. Cassie reached behind me and started rubbing my shoulders. “It will be okay.” “Thanks,” I said. “No problem. You’re my best friend. I owe you a lot. I mean, who else would drive to the other side of the state just to help me out after I had an accident?” She paused. “Besides, you admitted to messing your diaper just to keep me from being embarrassed for doing the same thing.” I thought about how we went swimming together at camp. Getting to meet Cassie was worth losing my college fund and having to take this Weird Scholarship. ### We arrived at the dorm and Melody greeted us. “Doing laundry sure is hard,” she said. “Why? What happened?” I asked. “I was dumping everything in the washer and someone said I needed to separate my colors and wash them in separate loads.” “So?” asked Cassie. “I knew you had separate colors since I had to start washing my own sheets.” She blushed. “Well there are just so many colors,” said Melody. “I did my white clothes and then I did my blues. I still have to do my reds, my grays, and my greens. And then I have this one yellow shirt that I have to wash by itself.” Cassie and I both started laughing. Cassie crossed her legs tight, like she was trying to keep from peeing. I couldn’t cross that tight in my diaper. “What’s so funny?” asked Melody. “Melody, you don’t have to separate each color of the rainbow. You just need to do two loads of laundry: white clothes and colored clothes.” I just shook my head at the idea of her separating her clothes in rainbow order. “I was starting to run out of quarters,” she said. “You would,” said Cassie. “Well Nora and I bought some new clothes and we need to wash them. Since you have just a partial load of colors left to do, we can maybe through ours in with yours.” I glared at Cassie. “No. We can’t. Melody will find out.” “Find out what? That you aren’t incontinent either?” I looked at Melody with an worried look. She smiled. “Cassie told me. Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.” “Why’d you tell her?” I asked. “We caught each other in panties and I mentioned that you were being faithful and wearing diapers even though you didn’t need them.” She turned to Cassie. “She is still wearing diapers right now. Isn’t she?” I felt the warmth of a blush coming on. “Well that is half of us,” I said. “You don’t suppose there are any others in our group of six?” Melody shook her head. “There is no way Veronica or Darlene are faking. And as nice as Bella is, she would have totally come out to me once she figured out I was trying to potty train myself.” I nodded. So Bella knew about Melody, but we had all seen how Melody’s mother treated her. I knew Bella would understand in Melody’s case. Probably not with our own. “So let’s see what you bought.” Melody smiled. “I got new underwear last night. I ran out because I didn’t do laundry until today.” She ran into her room and came back with a Walmart bag and dumped it on the bed. Every single pair had a cartoon character or a superhero on it. I couldn’t help but giggle. She looked hurt. “What’s so funny?” “Nothing,” I said. “She thinks you are being childish because you like superheroes,” said Cassie. “Nora doesn’t know any better. She is nerd-impared.” “I’m not nerd-impared,” I said. I thought of my experience so far at MIT. Everyone had awesome backgrounds and I had nothing like that in my past. “Okay, maybe I am nerd-impared.” “Well, let’s see what you bought,” said Melody. I poured my panties out of the Victoria’s Secret bag. The pastel-colored panties spread all over my sheets. They were pretty much the same cut as Melody’s superhero panties, but they were a marked difference. “Can you believe Nora got all her purchases for basically free?” said Cassie. “How?” asked Melody. “I don’t want to talk about it,” I said at the same time Cassie told the story. “Awesome. Maybe you can take me to Victoria’s Secret sometime if I ever get a boyfriend.” “It’s a deal,” I said. “And here is my purchase,” said Cassie as she spread out her teddy on the bed. “Isn’t it so slutty?” Melody just shook her head. “Wow. That is fancy. How do you pull it down when you need to pee? You got to take off your top as well as your pants.” She smiled and lightly punched Melody in the shoulder. “You don’t wear clothes over it, silly. You wear it in the bedroom with your boyfriend. An help me get out of it when he needs to.” The look of shock on Melody’s face was priceless. I giggled. I was a virgin, but I wasn’t really this naive. I loved Melody and I felt bad that we were corrupting a child, although a late-blooming one, and turning her into an adult. We packed up our stuff separate stuff and got it all put away just as Bella walked in. She had a big box in her hands. “They came. They came,” she said. I looked from Melody to Cassie and back again. “What came?” I asked. Was she going to reveal that she was part of the conspiracy? She laid the box on my bed and opened it. She then pulled out a pack of diapers and ripped them open. “I finally found diapers that come in black.” She looked back and forth between me and Cassie, as if to figure out why we weren’t as excited as we were. “That’s really interesting,” I said. She smiled and then pulled out three diapers. “I am going to put on one now. You two got to try them.” She looked at Melody. “You don’t have to try one,” she said. “I know you are training yourself.” “Okay,” said Cassie. She seemed like she didn’t know what to say. Bella thrusted the diapers into our hands, grabbed her box and went to her room, before she left she looked back. “I am going to put mine on now. I’ll be back and you can tell me how you think they feel.” I took the diaper and started to lay it out on my bed. “It looks like I’ll have to wait a bit longer to wear panties.” I preceded to change myself. Cassie laid down on her bed and did the same. Melody just smiled. It was safe to bet that Bella didn’t know we were fakers. I looked longingly at my panty drawer before taping on the black diaper. Chapter Twenty-Four: Bet’s Visit I woke up in the middle of the night needing to pee. I put my hand between my legs and prepared to flood my diaper, letting the cushion of my diaper expand beneath my hand. When I reached down, I instead felt my panties and sat up. I was going to have to get up in the night to use the bathroom. I smiled. At least I hadn’t become reliant on the diapers I needed to maintain my scholarship. Instead I waited to wet my diaper until I really had to go. And I always woke up before I had to pee at night. I got up and went to the bathroom and peed. When I came back the lights were already on. ¨Shit, not again,” yelled Cassie. She pulled her sheets off the bed and threw them to the floor. The plastic on her bed may have protected her mattress, but a visible puddle reflected the rooms light. I squinted against the light and walked back to the bathroom and returned with Cassie’s towel. I tossed it to her. “Again?” I asked. “This is the second time this week.” She nodded. “What am I going to do if I do this at Milton’s house. I am supposed to stay with him this weekend and wear my new teddy.” I let her vent as she dried up the puddle with her towel. I then helped her make the bed. “I’m not sure. You will probably have to talk to him about it before you surprise him with a wet bed.” I thought of her accident where Milton left her at the gas station after she wet on their telescope date. This was not going to go well. Cassie glared at me and then pulled her half of the top sheet tight across the bed before tucking it under the mattress. “Or maybe I will just wear my diapers to bed with him so he can change me like the big baby I am.” I sighed. “We aren’t babies,” I said. “We are incontinent engineers,” I said. “Besides, you are just under stress. It’s just a phase.” Cassie frowned and then pointed at my dry panties peeking out from under my long t-shirt. “Half of us aren’t even incontinent. Besides, these phases get worse before they get better. After Loraine, it was a month before I could stay dry. After coming home from juvie, it was almost six months before I was consistently dry at night. It’s only a matter of time before Milton finds out.” She threw her pillow on the remade bed and straightened it out, then pulled the sheets open to get back in bed. “Wait, Cassie, you are still in your wet things.” She looked down. “Dammit.” She grabbed a clean t-shirt and some panties and started to change. I frowned. “How about you let me change you into a diaper,” I asked. She nodded and lay on the bed. I quickly changed her, the first time either of us changed the other since we went panties shopping at the mall. “Just wear diapers to bed,” I suggested. “We got to use up diapers. I have three whole packs stockpiled since I started wearing panties again.” “I only have the one pack,” she said. “Melody comes and gets my extra supplies every weekend.” “What for?” I asked. “She stopped wearing them too. Besides, she has to buy her usual supply or Bets will see she is not buying diapers anymore. The scholarship reimburses us for diapers and we need to keep sending Bets reciepts.” Cassie shrugged. “I don’t know what she does with them, but she gives me a dollars a diaper, so I don’t really care.” She pulled the dry sheets around her and I returned to my own bed. “I care,” I said. “I have the trunk of my car full of diapers and then what?” Cassie laughed. “See if you can get the same deal.” She rolled over and went to sleep. I lay awake wondering what Melody was doing with all those diapers after she started wearing panties. ### I lay in my bed with Jonah next to me. Cassie was gone for the night, presumably to Milton’s. I hope her date would go okay. She’d had wet nights three of the four nights since the first time I helped her with her bed. “I can’t believe you never saw The Princess Bride,” said Jonah. He held my tablet so we could both see the movie and his other hand rubbed my thigh. I squeezed in closer and put my one hand that wasn’t holding the other half of my tablet on top of his hand. “Too much too soon?” he asked. “No,” I said. I pulled his hand higher and ground it into crotch. “Boo! Hiss! Boo! Hiss!” I was shocked at first, but then realized the sound was coming from my tablet. I pressed pause and set the tablet on the night stand and turned to kiss Jonah. “Don’t you want to finish watching the movie?” “We can watch it after I put out like I promised.” My heart beat heavier and heavier. I was a bit scared. He helped me out of my shorts and then out of my top. Soon I was had my underwear off and I focused on undressing Jonah. He lay me down on my back and I squealed. “Wait.” “What?” he asked. I reached over to the night stand and got out the condom I bought for our date. “Oh yeah. We need that,” he said. “Are you ready to have sex?” I asked. I trembled with readiness. I was scared and I knew it would hurt the first time, but I thought Jonah was the one who should have me. He looked at me and kissed me, but then scooted a bit away. “Actually, I’m not ready.” I looked at him with surprise. I wondered if something was wrong with me. I gave him a hurt look. “Listen. I just want it to be a special time when…,” he paused. “Well, when I do it for the first time. I’m sorry. I am not really experienced. Can we get dressed and just make out?” “Yeah, sure,” I said. “I am actually afraid that it would hurt me the first time.” I grabbed my panties and pulled them on and then pulled my t-shirt on. I left my bra and shorts on the floor. “You’ve never done it either?” “Nope. Kiss me and let’s finish the movie.” That night I didn’t get lucky but I did find out what true love means. I hoped Buttercup and Wesley were getting lucky. And that morning I woke up alone. ### I woke up in my shorts, t-shirt, and a dry diaper. I had encouraged Cassie to wear diapers to bed and I promised to wear them to bed when I was in the dorm. My phone had rang and I ignored it, but then I looked at my text and froze. “Just arrived for a visit. The staff let me upstairs. -Bets” I froze. The message was from tree minutes ago. I opened the bathroom door and found Melody in there. She was dressed for the day already. “Are you diapered? Bets is coming.” “That’s not funny, Nora.” “I’m not kidding.” I ran through her room, grabbed one of her childishly printed diapers and pulled her into my room. “Lay down.” I diapered her as quickly as I could just as I heard a knock on the door. I picked up her panties and threw them in my laundry and then push her shorts to her. “Get them on. Quick.” I went to the door and peeked through the peephole. It was Bets.” I had to pee badly from the night before, so I just relaxed and wet my diaper. Then I opened the door. “Good morning, Nora. I thought I would take you girls to breakfast and see how you were all doing.” She looked over at Melody. “Hi, Melody. How are you doing?” “Much better,” she said. “I had to get twenty-five shots just to start classes.” “Oh you poor girl? Why so many?” My mother didn’t believe in vaccines, so I needed them all to be able to start classes.” Bets shook her head. I think she looked angry. While they were talking, I grabbed my phone and texted Cassie. “If you are coming, stop by my car and get a diaper on. Bets is here. I’m dropping the keys out the window.” I then opened the window and dropped my keys outside. “So, Nora, did that woman ever show up here?” I shook my head. “Well thank goodness,” said Bets. I looked at her. “I need to freshen up for the day. I just woke up and I am wet and smelly.” I grabbed some clothes and a diaper and took them into the bathroom and showered quickly. I got dressed in the bathroom and then check my phone. “We are here and it’s awkward. I couldn’t hide this from Milton, so thanks.” “You want to keep the scholarship?” I texted back. “Yes.” I pocketed my phone and left the bathroom. Melody passed through and then I returned to the room with just Bets. “Where is your roommate?” she asked. “Um, Cassie had a date and didn’t come home.” I wanted to look at my phone, but Bets was watching. “She said she’d be back after breakfast. We didn’t know about the surprise breakfast you had planned.” “That’s okay,” said Bets. The door burst open and Cassie stormed in and threw her bag on her bed. She looked angry, her eyes were red and black streaks of mascara ran down her cheeks. Milton followed. “What do you think I am supposed to think? First you pee all over my bed and then you wear diapers. I can’t take it.” Cassie turned to Bets and then looked over to Milton. “Milton, just go. Please. I’ll explain later.” He shut the door and left. Cassie looked at Bets and let the tears flow. “Nora, do you want to step out so I can talk to Cassie?” asked Bets. “No,” said Cassie. “Please let her stay.” “So what happened Cassie?” She looked at Bets with tears flowing. “I cheated on the scholarship. I didn’t want my boyfriend to know about the diapers so I bought sexy lingerie to wear instead. I understand if you want to kick me out. I really loved MIT so far.” “And what happened when you did wear diapers with your boyfriend?” She hung her head. “I peed all over both of us in his bed” “And then he learned about your diapers anyway. So did you learn your lesson?” “Um,” she said. “I really wanted to go to MIT. I’m sorry for getting regular underwear.” Bets laughed. “I did the same thing. I tried to go on a date without being diapered, but I peed all over myself in his car before we got to the restaurant. You need to sit down your boyfriend and be honest with him. You need to ease a boy into dating an incontinent girl. It’s not something you want to spring to him after you wet your pants because you were too prideful to wear the diapers you need.” It then began to dawn on me that Bets didn’t realize Cassie was a faker. She actually thought Cassie had tried to hide her diapers from Milton by wearing panties to bed and had an accident. I walked over to Cassie and rubbed her shoulders. “Everything will be okay, Cassie.” I looked at Bets. “I’ll get her cleaned up for breakfast and then we’ll join you and the others soon.” Bets looked at Cassie. “It will be okay.” She left. Cassie looked at me. “She knows and I am getting kicked out.” I shook my head. “She doesn’t know you are a faker. She just thinks you didn’t wear a diaper and wet yourself because you are incontinent, not because you are a bedwetter.” She smiled through her tears and laughed. “Bedwetter is hardly an upgrade.” “But now that Milton knows you have diapers, just wear them for bedwetting if you spend the night with him.” She sighed. “Well if he wants to sleep with a smelly diaper baby, then I will sleep with him.” “Now go wash up so we can eat breakfast. I am hungry.” “Me too. Apparently Milton didn’t want me cooking him pancakes in a wet teddy.” I laughed. “That is his loss then.” “Don’t you know it?” she said. ### Breakfast was weird. At least Cassie got her pancakes. She didn’t have to cook them at all. The restaurant did it for her. I had bacon and eggs. Sullen Violate and carefree Darlene were doing well in classes and had become best friends. Bella couldn’t stop gushing about her black diapers. Melody couldn’t say much and neither could I. I had worn panties during the day for about a week and I was back in diapers again. I hoped Bets wasn’t going to come back and surprise us again. “This is really yummy. When are you coming back to do this again?” “I usually come the second Saturday of the month,” she said. I took a bite of my bacon strip. “Awesome.” Cheating was fine when it came to wearing diapers and Melody and Cassie deserved to be happy. I just hoped Melody could be grown up and Cassie could have a little less stress in her life. Chapter Twenty-Five: Accepting Diapers “Milton, you’re a jerk, but Cassie likes you, so that is why we are here.” I picked up my donut and took a big bite, pausing to suck out some of the pudding. Cassie sat beside me in the booth at Linda’s and Milton sat across from us. Between us was a box of a dozen donuts that I insisted that Milton pay for. Milton yawned. “It’s 6:30 am. I don’t know why you wanted to meet here in the first place.” “Because you avoided Cassie all week. It’s Friday already and you haven’t even called her. She’s worried you don’t like her anymore.” “I like hanging out with her, but she...” I didn’t let him finish the sentence. “She embarrassed herself in front of you and you did nothing to reassure her. Instead you yelled at her and humiliated her further.” I waited while that sunk in. “Let’s just go,” said Cassie. “It’s obvious that he is disgusted by me.” She stood up to leave. “Sit down, Cassie,” I said. “We are not done. I want to hear Milton say that he wants to stop doing astronomy with you and watching Star Trek characters cut off each other’s hands with laser swords.” “It’s Star Wars,” Milton and Cassie said together. They laughed. “Okay, Star Wars,” I said and then lowered my voice. “Do you want to give that up because of a little pee?” Milton sighed. “It’s not the first time she did this, you know,” he said in a lowered voice. “I know,” I said. “Last time you left her across the state and my date and I had to drive out and get her, so she was not only humiliated in front of you, but also in front of my date. Yet she dated you again. I wouldn’t have given you a second chance.” “It’s kind of gross to be peed on by your girlfriend,” he said. “Listen, Milton,” I said. “I am sure she didn’t pee the bed with you in it to make it a better experience. College is stressing Cassie out and causing her to wet the bed. Maybe you should help her out instead of make her feel worthless.” “What about the diaper?” he whispered. “That is just weird.” Cassie looked at him. Her eyes glistened and I think she was about to cry.” I kicked him under the table. “I wear them for my own wetting,” I said. I could feel my face grow warm and hot. “When she started having problems I gave her some of mine and told her to use them to deal with the problem. I thought she would explain it to you, but you aren’t really that understanding, are you?” He looked at the box of donuts. I think he was thinking about taking another donut, but I glared at him. Instead, he looked up at me. “So what do you want me to do, Nora?” “How about you accept your girlfriend for who she is? Give her another chance. She was more than forgiving when you left her at a gas station in the middle of nowhere.” I chomped on my donut and enjoyed the maple frosting as it mingled with the pudding in my mouth. “What if she wets the bed again?” he asked. “I don’t want wet on.” “I won’t do it again,” said Cassie. “How will you react if she does?” I asked. “Are you going to humiliate her again? Because I am already unhappy with how your treat her.” “It’s my fault. I’m sorry,” said Cassie. “No, it isn’t. Milton is the one acting like a jerk. So this is what is going to happen. Milton, you don’t want wet on when you are sleeping. Cassie, you can’t predict whether or not you will have a wet night. So when you are staying over at Milton’s, you will put on a diaper before you go to sleep. Milton, you will not tease her about her diaper or her wetting. And you will not tell anyone about this arrangement.” Cassie looked at Milton and then me. Her face was bright red. I have never seen her that embarrassed. “I like hanging out with you, Milton. We have so much in common. Are you going to let this one thing come between us?” “Well I did like the sexy teddy you wore last weekend. And we both like space and the same movies and stuff. I don’t want to give that up.” “So,” I said. “You’ll put up with her unwanted costume change before she falls asleep with you? That’s all we are asking.” “Okay, but I don’t want to have to change her.” He made a weird face. I laughed. “Is that what your problem with the diaper was? That you don’t want to change your girlfriend that you see naked anyway?” He nodded. “Yeah, Messy diapers are gross and they smell.” “Listen. A. She’s not going to poop in them and B. She is capable of changing herself. Besides, she’ll only be wearing them while she is sleeping. In the morning she will shower and put on her regular underwear.” Milton nodded. “Okay. I think that is okay. Cassie, do you want to do this? I promise I won’t humiliate you again.” She stood up and walked around the table and sat next to Milton. She then grabbed a donut and put it on a napkin in front of him. “I saw you eying that chocolate sprinkles one.” I grabbed my third donut. “I need to work on my freshman fifteen,” I said. I took a big bite of a chocolate long john and let the flavors mix in my mouth before swallowing. I wasn’t wearing a diaper that day, nor did I have a bow and arrow, but I sure felt like cupid as we ate donuts together. Chapter Twenty-Six: The Cheese-E-ist Restaurant Ever It was Saturday and I had a date later that night, but I had the afternoon free. I was one of those students who did my homework right away after school and then could spend the later evenings reading or otherwise enjoying myself. Although I hadn’t finished everything Friday night, I had plenty to keep me occupied on Saturday morning. I had just finished the last math problem in my calculus homework when Melody came bursting in through our shared bathroom. “Nora, do you want to come with us? We are going some place awesome.” “Slow down. Who is we again? And I can’t. I am starving.” I really was hungry and looking forward to the cafeteria fare in the dorms. Melody looked disappointed. “But my father is here and we are going to lunch. Please come with us.” “Sure. What kind of food do you have in mind?” I shuttered at the thought of going to McDonald’s again. Apparently Melody thought it was wonderful. I didn’t want to get sick when I couldn’t resist the urge to order one of their caustic milkshakes. “Not McDonald’s I hope.” She was still beaming. “Better than McDonald’s. We are going to Chuck E Cheese.” I was about going to say, “Taco Bell?” in my Sylvester Stalone tone, but then Melody was excited by it and I hadn’t had pizza in a while. And Jonah said I needed to learn about video games. So I said, “Why not?” We went through the bathroom to her room and I met Melody’s father for the first time. He was younger than my own father. Her dad had a very distinctive mustache. The corners were twisted up on the ends in points, like reddish flames, much darker than his very light blond hair. He smiled. “So this is my daddy, Jack Franklin,” said Melody. “And this is Nora Jones, one of my good friends. We share a bathroom.” I waved. “Nice to meet you, Nora. Melody said you helped her learn how to do a few things that her mother didn’t teach her.” “Yep. I taught her how to do her own laundry,” I said. “Good,” he said. “I don’t have a washer and dryer and could never teach her the basics.” “No washer and dryer?” I asked. “Well in my work, I travel a lot, so I am usually on the road.” “Well, let’s go,” said Melody. “I still have tokens from last year.” She grabbed a purse and flung it over her shoulder. “Do you have everything you need?” he asked. “Of course,” she said. We walked out to the car. His vehicle was a Jeep, but it had a tow bar on it like it was usually pulled behind an RV. My parents weren’t big on camping, but Kara’s family were big RV enthusiasts. I looked at it. “Do you go RV-ing a lot?” He nodded and started the Jeep and we pulled out of the dorm parking lot. “I am in the RV delivery business. I just delivered an RV to a family in Boston, so I decided to see Melody since I was in town already.” “So how often do you do this?” I asked. “It depends on how far from the factory it needs to go, but usually about one or two a week.” I couldn’t imagine driving all over in an RV. Kara’s family usually stayed at RV parks. “My best friend’s parents have a Fleetwood RV.” He frowned. “They are a major competitor of ours.” He laughed. “They keep us innovating though.” He kept driving. It only took about twenty minutes to get to the pizza place. We walked in and it was like it had never changed. “I haven’t been here since I was eight,” I said. “Daddy takes me here at least once a year,” said Melody. “I am a ski ball expert, so you better watch out.” “Food first, then games,” said Mr. Franklin. I giggled. “Yes, sir. I am starved anyway. We found a seat in the dining room without the big stage of animatronic singing animals and we sat and talked. “Melody gushed about classes and how she was becoming more independent. “Did you know Mommy hunted me down at the scholarship camp and tried to make me go home?” “Really?” asked her father. “How did she know about everything?” “I think she found out when I got the letter about my vaccinations. I had to go to student health and get all the vaccines I should have had over the years.” Melody continued. “Anyway, she went to the campground with a policeman and tried to get me to go home, but I told her that I was going to stay and go to college. The policeman said I could do what I wanted because I am eighteen.” “Good for you, baby,” he said. “Your mother unfairly held you back because of your problem.” Melody looked thoughtful, but didn’t say anything, so I was free to open my own mouth. “That’s not a problem anymore. Student Health told her there wasn’t physically wrong with her and Melody figured out her mother just didn’t teach her and she learned to use the bathroom by herself.” “Nora, no,” Melody said, but it was too late. Mr. Franklin’s face turned bright pink. He had been pale to begin with and it was easy to tell when he was angry. “That woman lied to me and you. She stole your childhood so she could keep you under her control. I am calling your mother and letting her know how despicable she is for what she did.” Melody looked alarmed as she looked out into the restaurant. “Quiet, our food is here.” A waitress laid a pizza on the table and we took time to pass out some slices for us. I took a bite of my pizza and looked at Melody. “I am sorry for bringing that up.” “Well, I am eighteen and don’t have to talk to Mommy again. I am so angry about what she did to me, but Daddy, don’t confront Mommy about this. I don’t want her to know that she doesn’t have power over me anymore. Besides, she can stop me from going to college just by telling the scholarship coordinator that I am not incontinent anymore. Then I would have to go back to her. I don’t want that to happen.” Her father’s normal color returned to his face and Melody relaxed. “I will not call your mother,” he said. “Now we came here to have fun, not argue about your mother. “Goody,” she said. She grabbed two slices of pizza from the pan to her plate dragging a stream of cheese across the table. I smiled and grabbed a few pieces of my own. “I haven’t been to a pizza arcade in years,” I said. “How did you know they still had them?” “Daddy took me to Chunk E. Cheese for every birthday. It was the one chance I got to have the kinds of fun Mommy didn’t want me to have.” “Oh?” I asked. “Melody’s mother didn’t want Melody to have fun if she wasn’t the center of it,” he said. “Or do anything, apparently,” I said. “Maybe that why she kept you in diapers?” Melody frowned, then nodded. “If my talking Barbie didn’t require a computer, I would have never been able to use a computer. Mommy couldn’t figure out how to make her talk and she left me alone with the computer for hours. I just had to change Barbie’s speech every now and then, so she thought I was only doing that.” We quickly ate and then when we were finished, we each got a cup of tokens. “Let’s play Ski Ball,” said Melody. I got up and followed her out into the game room. It was black lit and filled with flashing arcade machines and electronic noise. I went over to the ski ball machines and put in my tokens. The nine balls rolled down the chute and I begin to play. By the time I finished the first game, I only had one ticket print out. I looked over to Melody and she had ten tickets. I was jealous, but she had scored much higher than me. She smiled. “Don’t worry. We’ll pool our tickets and get something fun to share.” She popped in another token and we started a new round. We played Skee-Ball until it was time to leave. “Well, let’s redeem our prize,” she said. We walked to the counter and looked around. There were really awesome prizes, but we didn’t have near enough tickets for a MacBook or a LCD TV. Instead we spent our tickets on a cheap plastic Slinky. She looked a bit disappointed, but I just shrugged. “We just had fun playing.” “And we’ll have fun playing with the Slinky at the dorms. We didn’t have stairs at Mommy’s house.” Melody’s father drove us back to the dorms and then I came back to see Jonah walking away. He wasn’t happy. He was clinching and unclinching his fists. He stopped and looked at me. “Did you forget about our date? Cassie said she didn’t see you all day and Bella said she saw you leaving with some guy.” “Sorry, I kept her our too long,” said Melody. “My father stopped by and took us both to Chuck E. Cheese for my birthday.” She held up the Slinky. “See what Nora and I won at Skee-Ball.” “But you didn’t answer your phone or my texts or anything. I thought you didn’t want to talk to me anymore.” I grabbed my purse and reached for my phone, but it was gone. I grabbed my keys and went inside and found my phone still on my bed. I grabbed and started scrolling through the messages. I turned to Jonah. “I left my phone. I am sorry I forgot about the date. How late am I?” “Just half an hour,” he said. “I hope our plans aren’t time sensitive,” I said. He shook his head. “We can see the next showing of the movie.” “Let me get dressed and I will be ready.” I grabbed some clothes and threw them on my bed and then pushed him out of the room and was able to get dressed. I thought about a dress, but I decided that I needed to make sure that Jonah wasn’t like Milton. For that, I needed to wear light colored pants. I dressed in a cute blouse and khaki pants that I couldn’t really wear with diapers. I then packed some more suitable clothes in an overnight bag. I came out of the dorm with my purse and my bag. “Let’s go,” I said. Chapter Twenty-Seven: The Movie: the Test The movie was educational for me. I had never been to a superhero movie before and Jonah had to explain things now and then. However, I enjoyed it. I drank my large soda and some of Jonah’s and didn’t take a bathroom break because I was afraid to miss any of the movie. By the time the credits rolled, I was bursting. I stood up and tried to leave, but Jonah grabbed my arm. “You got to stay for the credits or else you’ll miss what the next movie is going to be about.” “Really?” I asked. I had to pee and I regretted not wearing a diaper, but I was not going to wet and then walk out in front of all these people. I squeezed my thighs together as the credits rolled. “I really had no idea that it took so many names to make a movie. They had separate credits for the caterers and craft services. They are pretty much the same job too. Both of them serve food to the actors. I later looked up the difference, but I though I was going to soak the theater seat and I was too embarrassed to tell him that I was desperate. What I planned to do was more embarrassing, but I wasn’t ready yet. Finally a scene came up on the screen and the characters interacted. The audience laughed and then started discussing as everyone got up to leave. “We got to go. I need to pee,” I said to Jonah. He guided me to the bathroom, but the line was so far out the women’s room door that I knew I was not going to be able to hold it. “Jonah, I can’t hold it with this line this long.” “Okay, let’s go,” he said. He led me out of the theater and into his minivan. We drove across the parking lot as I held my crotch and then pulled into the gas station on the other side of the parking lot. I got out and started to go into the gas station. I decided it was a good place to have my accident, but the clerk gave me a dirty look. Instead I hurried into the bathroom and locked myself inside. As soon as I saw the toilet, instinct took over and I pulled down my pants and panties and sat on the toilet and peed. After peeing, I realized what I had done. I missed my chance to test Jonah. I wiped and got dressed and then saw my phone sticking out of my pocket. I picked it up and called Jonah. “Jonah,” I said in a weepy voice, “I didn’t make it.” “Are you okay? Should we try somewhere else?” he said over the phone. “No, I mean I got into the bathroom and started peeing down my legs. I’m soaked and embarrassed.” “Are you serious? You wet yourself?” I let out a sob into my phone. “Well, don’t cry. These things happen. I shouldn’t have made you stay for the credits. Come on out and I’ll take you home.” He was so nice and I suddenly felt guilty for lying to him. I went outside and then got in the minivan. “Now, don’t be too embarrassed to date me again, Nora.” His hand touched my upper thigh and then he gave me a confused look because I was dry. I looked back at him. “Sorry,” I said. “I had to test you. Cassie’s boyfriend humiliated her twice over something like this.” I leaned forward to kiss him. “You passed.” “So you didn’t have to pee at all?” He sounded more annoyed. “You don’t trust me to treat you right?” Now I was on the defensive. “I’m sorry. You always treated me perfectly. And I really would have peed my pants in the theater lobby if you didn’t drive me to the gas station. I thought I was going to die. I was really counting on going during the credits. But I couldn’t help thinking, what you would do if I didn’t make it. I didn’t plan this out really well. I trust you completely.” He frowned. “We had this discussion earlier when we went and got Cassie on our first date. I knew she wet herself and that’s why she needed the extra clothes.” I looked at him. “I’m not being honest with you,” I admitted. “You see, Cassie and I are roommates because we both wet the bed. I just can’t really break it to a boy in a good way. I understand if you don’t want to see me again. Just don’t tell anyone about me and Cassie’s problem.” He reached over and kissed me. We made out a bit and I felt so wet. “Okay, now I am a different kind of wet. If you are ready, I’ll let you do me.” “I’m not ready for that yet,” he said. “I am waiting until I get married and I am not ready to think that far ahead until I graduate.” I kissed him hard. “You are such a keeper. I will respect your wishes in that area. I hope you still want to date me after all the mistakes I made today and what I revealed about myself.” He held my hand. “Nora, I still want to date you. You are okay and that won’t change even after I graduate and want more in a relationship.” “Then I declare this date a success. Now why did the superhero carry that old-fashioned relic with him?” “Well in the first movie...” Chapter Twenty-Eight: Driving Home Thanksgiving break was soon and I was exited. I liked my time so far at MIT, but t was really weird pretending to be incontinent so I could keep my scholarship. At least Cassie was also faking it, but she had genuine issues. I packed my suitcases and then Cassie walked in. She looked at my bags and frowned. “Getting ready to go home for Thanksgiving break?” she asked. I didn’t answer because I was getting ready for break and it was obvious. She must have realized she asked an obvious question so she went on. “The dorm said I they are closing for break and I can’t stay here. We are supposed to go home and enjoy the week with our families while they fix the bathrooms.” She frowned and walked over to the bed and sat down. “I don’t really want to take Bets up on her offer of a place to stay for the week. Can you imagine?” I laughed. “Could you even go 24/7 again?” She thought about it for a little bit. “I probably could. I mean, it would be easy, but I can’t deal with the paranoia that Bets would discover that I was faking. A week at camp was bad enough and you basically caught me out at Walmart right after camp.” “I actually caught you peeing in the woods that night we looked at the stars and looked for meteorites” “Meteors. They are not meteorites until they hit the ground. But, wait, you caught me peeing? I had kind of just changed into a clean diaper and didn’t want to wet it yet.” I nodded. “She paced back and forth. “Oh Bets is so going catch me since it will just be the two of us in the house. At least at camp there were six of us girls.” “Don’t worry about Bets. You are coming home with me.” I grabbed two packs of diapers and threw them in a duffle bag and put it with my stuff I was taking home. “So pack,” I said. “I want leave in half an hour.” She went to her closet and packed about four outfits. She then packed enough socks and underwear for two weeks. She didn’t pack any diapers. She brought her laptop and table since we both had a paper due. “Bring diapers. You’ll have to sleep in my room and I’d rather you didn’t pee in my bed.” “What were the diapers your brought for then?” “Because I promised I’d wear them to bed as long as you needed them. I didn’t embarrass myself in front of Milton for nothing.” She packed some diapers in her diaper bag. “Good idea. I don’t want your mother to throw me out on my butt in the middle of Pennsylvania.” We were all packed and I rushed us out the door of the dorm. The room was clean. Our beds were made, and our valuables put away. Most of what we owned was our laptops and clothes and we brought most of those with us. We went out to my car and soon we were one the road. We had driven for four hours when Cassie looked at me. “Can we stop soon. I have to pee.” I decided to tease her. “Just go in your diaper. I went in mine an hour ago.” I resumed driving. I also picked up my bottle of Mountain Dew from my cup holder and drank it down. She shifted her hips in the seat and then grabbed her crotch. “Nora, I’m serious. I am about to wet right in your seat. Besides, I am not diapered and it will make a mess.” “You really have to go. Well, we arguing to run out of gas soon, so I guess we can stop. Besides I am out of pop and I was just teasing when I said I was diapered.” I took the next exit and we stopped at the gas station. I didn’t even pull up to a gas pump. I just parked because I needed the bathroom as well. We went in, used the facilities and then I left to fill up the car while Cassie bought treats. She came out as the car was filled up. I got my receipt out of the gas pump and we were on the way. “Everything come out all right,” I asked. She nodded. “So does your mom know you signed up for a scholarship for incontinent girls?” I almost swerved I was so panicked. I got control of the car and then looked at Cassie. “Don’t do that again. My parents would freak if they knew I was doing this. Let’s not tell them. In fact, we only wear diapers for bed all week. We don’t have long classes to sit through and we can stop at a rest area any time we need to pee.” Cassie nodded. “Okay. The family doesn’t know. Anything else?” “Most of my family is Republicans. Don’t get involved in any arguments.” “Are you a Republican?” asked Cassie. “What?” I thought about it. I really didn’t know. “I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet.” Cassie sat back and thought silently for a bit. “I would be a Libertarian, but I don’t want dope legalized.” I shrugged. “Why not? It doesn’t hurt anyone else.” She looked at me a second. “I lived with this one family and they fed me graham crackers and Kool-aid for an entire semester. I only got to eat real food when I bought school lunches because they spent the grocery money on dope. It just breeds irresponsible people.” “Oh,” I said. I sat in silence for a while. “But we get a big meal with turkey and stuffing and mash potatoes and yams and green bean casserole, and for dessert we get pumpkin pie with Cool Whip on it.” “What will I get to eat?” she asked. “The same stuff as me,” I said. “Doesn’t turkey and stuffing sound good to you?” She game me a funny look. “When I lived with Cathy and Peter, they said Thanksgiving dinner is just for family and you don’t share it with anyone who is not a blood relative. I had to sit in my room by myself because they had relatives over. They brought me a bowl of popcorn and some pretzels and that's all I had.” “What kind of blockhead said you can’t share Thanksgiving with people who aren’t your relatives?” I asked. “You lived with some terrible people.” “Well after Loraine, I went to live with Cathy and Peter for three years, then …” She listed off a bunch of names before she got to her favorite Felix. She then mentioned a few more names. “None of them had me during Thanksgiving except Loraine and Cathy and Peter.” “Loraine is that awful woman that caged you with the other animals in that puppy mill?” She nodded, then shuttered. “In November too. Do you know how cold it is in a cage, especially when you wet your pants?” “Well, no cages, no wetting our pants, and no shutting you up in a room. Just be yourself and be polite and everything will be fine.” I shook my head. “You are going to enjoy a real Thanksgiving dinner no matter what.” “Thank you, Nora. You are the best friend ever.” I drove the rest of the way home. Cassie read her textbook on her tablet and I listened to the radio and drove. Then we got to my house. ### I pulled in the driveway and got out. I tried the door and it was locked. I had not brought my house key with me when I left for college. I rang the doorbell. My mother answered. “Oh, Nora, you made it back already. Come on in. Your grandparents came yesterday and are occupying the guest room. Your cousin has taken the foldout bed in the study.” She leaned in to whisper to me. “I didn’t know you would be bringing a friend. We don’t really have the room unless you want to put sleeping bags on the floor of your room?” “What’s wrong with my room?” I asked. I took Cassie by the hand and dragged her to my room. My room was missing. What had been my room was an empty shell. The carpet was missing. The walls were gone too. You could see the studs. Even though the carpet was gone, you could see a scorch mark on the floor near the window, which was boarded over. Over by where my bed used to be was a water-damaged area were I had peed. My stuff was gone, but where they used to be was piles of new Sheetrock, a brand new window, and lots of construction supplies. Cassie looked around. “Looks like they are doing a major remodel.” I nodded. “But why now? I lived here all summer like this because we couldn’t afford to fix anything.” I walked back down stairs. “We can’t stay in my room,” I said. “There is no furniture and it’s not habitable like this. And I brought my roommate Cassie.” “Nora, calm down. It’s been arranged. Kara said you can stay over with her. Just call her and ask if your roommate can stay too.” I calmed down. Of course my mother would have figured out a plan. She looked at Cassie. “You are very welcome to our house. Sorry about the sleeping arrangements. The house is in chaos and construction work never got finished.” She went to the computer and printed out two sheets of paper. She handed one to me and one to Cassie. I took it and looked over the “Steven Family Thanksgiving Week Itinerary.” Cassie looked at it with confusion. “I’ll explain later,” I said. “You don’t want to miss any events my mother has planned.” “Cassie, do you have any food allergies or religious restriction we need to know about.” “No. I can eat whatever I am served,” she said. I smiled. “We get along great. Cassie is a fun roommate. She has lots of stories from before college.” “I’d like to hear some sometime.” I shook my head so only Cassie could see me. “Let’s go to Kara’s so we can get settled in. I will be back in time for….” I looked at the itinerary. “…Monopoly or Uno and light refreshments at seven.” We walked out of the house and got into my car. “That was weird,” said Cassie. She held her Steven’s Family Thanksgiving Week Itinerary. “I never had an itinerary planned for me in such detail.” “My family is not weird. No one gets locked in cages or told to hide in a room during Thanksgiving dinner.” “Fine,” said Cassie. “My family experiences are way more weirder than yours. But I had a lot of families and not one had a printed itinerary.” She sat in silence for a while while I drove to Kara’s. “Although some of them were so disorganized they could use an itinerary,” she admitted. “See,” I said. She nodded. “So what is on the list for right now.” I looked being especially careful since I was driving. “It says Nora driving to Kara’s house.” She rolled her eyes at me. “Let’s say we just go to Kara’s later and go to McDonalds and get some milkshakes. I haven’t had one since—.” “—since we had some on the way to camp and both pooped our diapers. Never again.” “But those were vanilla shakes. I was thinking about egg nog shakes since it is almost Thanksgiving.” “So you want us to lose bowel control for the entire week then?” “Well, no. But I love egg nog and I love shakes from McDonalds.” She looked longingly out the window at a McDonalds we past. She was silent for a bit. “I bet we would have never become this close of friends if we hadn’t had that major accident together, but you have a point. So what about this Kara person and can she be discreet about my night thing?” I laughed. “She is the one who made me buy the right stuff. I would have shown up in pull ups and been totally outed as a faker. “Lol, that is what the other girl did,” said Cassie. I looked at her with surprise. I didn’t know about another girl. “Yeah, you don’t know because you weren’t at the pre-summer get-together. Neither was Melody for that matter. Anyway, she wouldn’t wet the pull up anyway and Bets accidentally walked in on her in the single person bathroom, so she got caught. Also, she didn’t bring any changes. That is such a rookie mistake.” “I was well supplied. Kara burned my panties and I had to wear diapers for two weeks before camp started.” I thought back about that bad ideas. Panties should never be burned. Thrown away would have been fine, but not burned. She frowned. “Yeah, about that. I pretended to wet the bed and told my foster parents the bed wetting started again and what they used at the last place. They weren’t really impressed with me and I think they were happy to see me go to college.” Chapter Twenty-Nine: Arrival Home and Alternate Sleeping Arrangements I pulled the car into the driveway of a little suburban home and we got out. I walked up to the door with Cassie by my side and I rang the doorbell. Kara answered. “Nora!” she yelled and gave me a big hug. I hugged her back and she whispered in my ear. “Who’s the other girl.” “My roommate,” I whispered back. “Be nice.” She released me and smiled. “Welcome to my parent’s house. Nora and I are best friends. Any friend of Nora is a friend of mine.” Cassie looked at Kara. “Don’t I know you?” I looked confused and Kara bit her lip. Kara looked embarrassed. “Yeah, I met you on senior skip day when I was looking at a college and you were there.” Cassie looked at me. “Well, that is how she knew.” Kara looked confused now. “Well, let’s go in and I’ll show you where you will be sleeping and then you two can freshen up.” We walked up to her bedroom. Her queen sized bed sat in the middle of her small room flanked on either side by nightstands. “Well you two can have the bed. I have an air mattress so I will sleep here.” She motioned to the floor. Cassie looked dubious, but I smiled. “It will work. We haven’t had a sleepover in ages. Thanks for taking the floor.” She smiled back. “Anything for my best friend.” “Do you want to get our luggage,” I asked Cassie. “Sure,” she said. We went out to the car and carried our bags upstairs. When we came back up, Kara was waiting for us. “So Nora, I got the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Special on DVD. We always had to watch it. I thought we could see it as soon as you get ready.” “I’ve never watched that. Is it good?” Cassie smiled trying to be friendly. “Of course it is good,” I said. “It’s a classic. I can’t believe you never watched it.” “Well, I’ll go get it ready on the VCR while you two get changed.” She ran off. “What do we wear for watching a DVD?” asked Cassie. “I think she meant that we should change our diapers. She thinks you are incontinent and I am wearing one as a faker.” I shrugged. “So do you want to wear one?” “Sure, but we could have had the egg nog shakes if we were going to wear diapers anyway.” “You don’t remember camp very well, do you?” I said. She shuddered. “Well anyway, remember in the car how I talked about the girl with one pull-up faking incontinence?” I nodded. “Well she was your friend Kara.” “What?” I asked. “No way.” “Way,” she said. “She is pretending to not remember me, but we sat together at the get-together.” “That might be why she was so adamant about making me wear and use diapers for two weeks before I left for camp. She was the one that decided to burn all my panties.” I looked down the hall making sure she wasn’t coming. “Maybe that is why she knew what to do diaper-wise.” “At least she learned from her mistakes,” said Cassie. She walked over to her diaper bag and pulled out a diaper. Then she undressed and taped it on, then put her panties back in her bag and pulled her jeans back on. I wore a skirt, so I only had to pull my skirt up to change from panties to a diaper. Once diapered we went downstairs. We sat down on the couch and got ready for the show. “Wait. We need drinks. Nora, come and help me pick something out.” Kara grabbed my hand and took me to the kitchen. “Whoa. What’s up.” I knew Kara dragged me in to talk, not to pick drinks. “So, what is it like wearing diapers all the time?” she asked. “Is this why you dragged me in here?” I asked. ”So?” “It feels like a soft pillow between my legs,” I said. “But when I wet, it kind of bothers me because it shouldn’t feel good. But I have to worry whenever I am with my boyfriend that he will notice I am wearing them. He doesn’t really know.” “Wow, you tried dating in a diaper. You are brave.” “Well anyway let’s get the drinks. What do you have?” “Just Mountain Dew,” she said. We returned with six cans of Mountain Dew. Cassie was none the wiser that we were gossiping about her, but she was gossiping about Kara earlier. I wonder what Kara’s deal was. I didn’t know she had signed up for the scholarship too as another faker. Since she got caught, that opened up a space for me. I would have been yodeling in Austria if not for her. I was familiar with the rolling mountains of the Appalachians, but had not traveled overseas to see the Alps. I knew they were different mou, because I am not an idiot, but I tried the yodeling in Appalachia when I realized that was what I was probably going to end up doing. Fortunately the MIT scholarship opened up. I had Kara to thank for the opening and also for her coaching me on how to blend in, mostly based on her own failure to blend in. The movie started as usual. Again, as is everytime I watch it, I was laughing at Snoopy and Woodstock’s efforts to set up table and chairs for Thanksgiving. By the time the poor meal of toast, pretzel sticks, and popcorn was served, I was still giggling. “Is this where my foster parents got the idea to feed me that for Thanksgiving?” asked Cassie. I stopped laughing and it an arm around her. “This year, you will have turkey and all the fixings.” “Even though I am not family?” she asked. “You are my friend and Friendsgiving rules,” I said. “What is your family doing for Thanksgiving, besides inviting us to sleep over?” asked Cassie. Kara smiled. “We are all going over to the Stevens’ house and eating with them. Now quiet, this is the best part.” The cartoon cut to the closing scene where Charlie Brown invited his friends over to spend Thanksgiving at his own grandmother’s house. The children sang a song and then the cartoon ended. “So do you want to watch the Mayflower Voyages,” asked Kara. “No,” I said. “Let’s watch the Christmas ones.” “We can’t because Thanksgiving hasn’t passed. You can’t do Christmas stuff until Santa’s sleigh stops at Macy’s at the end of the Thanksgiving Day parade.” Kara retrieved the DVD and put it away in its sleeve and put it on the shelf with the Christmas and Halloween DVDs. “I never heard of these rules,” said Cassie. “They are quite well known,” said Kara. “They are completely arbitrary,” I said in return. “Kara and I had special rules we made up for everything. What did you think we did at all the sleepovers we had? Had pillow fights in our underwear?” Cassie thought for a minute. “Besides that I think we do each other's hair, give each over makeovers, and steal the underwear of the first person who goes to sleep, dip them in water, and put them in the freezer.” We looked at her with confusion. “Well that is what I think happens at them.” Cassie shrugged. “I’ve never been to a sleepover and foster children aren’t allowed to ‘invite their criminal friends over to case the place.’” Kara laughed and I reached under the blanket and pinched her hard in the leg. “Ouch,” she said, but the pinch got her the hint. She stopped laughing. “So if you want to do the pillow fight thing, we can,” said Kara. “I don’t think you want to with your problem.” I frowned. “We don’t need to go there. We all know about my scholarship and why Cassie and I got it.” I was going to let her think Cassie was genuine for a while. I wasn’t sure if I trusted Kara to keep Cassie’s secret. She would keep mine, I thought, but maybe she changed. “I’m sorry,” said Kara. “I shouldn’t have said that.” “It’s okay,” said Cassie, “but I am not really comfortable with people knowing that I am wearing a diaper. My boyfriend doesn’t even know.” “How do you—?” Kara started to say. “Easy,” said Cassie. “We do it in the hot tub.” She smiled and then I started to giggle. “I got the boyfriend who wants to wait until he gets married, so that is not an issue.” I thought of Jonah and how I wanted him and wondered what he would think of it he knew about the scholarship and how I wore diapers, but really didn’t need them. “Well that is an issue,” said Kara. “What’s the point of having a boyfriend if you can’t have fun with him.” “So did you get boyfriend at Penn State,” I asked Kara. She stood up and twirled. “Do you think a college boy could pass up this bod? In fact, I’ve had three boyfriends since the semester started. Just one at a time though.” “She was always the popular high school girl,” I told Cassie. “So we have talked about boys,” said Cassie. “When do we do each other's hair?” She took a notebook out of her pocket and put a check mark where it said, “Talk about boys.” I laughed and grabbed her note book. It really was a list of stereotypical things that girls do a slumber parties. I looked at the list. “Ooh, there is truth or dare,” I said. “Kara, truth or dare.” “Truth,” she said. “What a copout,” said Cassie. “Name a kinky thing you did with a boy,” I said. Kara blushed bright red. “No way,” she said. “Way,” said Cassie. “You picked truth so no take-backs.” “Fine,” said Kara. “My current boyfriend likes to spank me and I love it.” “That isn’t that kinky,” said Cassie. “I got spanked a lot of times.” “Well I have to drag a big wooden paddle to him with my teeth.” “Well that is kind of kinky,” I said, “But it’s just a playful smack I am guessing.” “No,” she said. “The paddle has holes in it and it leaves welts and it hurts to sit down in class for the next couple days.” “You really need a safe word,” said Cassie. “I have one,” said Kara, “but I never use it.” “Okay, your turn Kara.” “Nora, truth or dare.” I decided to be daring, “Dare.” “Show me your diaper.” I looked at her with a scowl, but lifted my skirt revealing the purple diaper I wore. “There. Still dry.” Cassie smiled. “While your holding your skirt up, I dare you to wet your diaper for us.” The Mountain Dew had gotten to me and. I went ahead and relaxed letting the wetness soak into my diaper. The wetness indicator disappeared and I felt it swell around my crotch, but it wasn’t really that noticeable. “Okay, I am done. Cassie, it is your turn.” “This is for Kara,” she said. “I double dare you to go put on one of my diapers and wear it until you wet it.” Kara shook her head. “No. I am not wearing one of your diapers. I don’t have a wetting problem.” “That’s the point,” I said. “Maybe you need to learn what it is like for Cassie.” She looked at me for a bit more than made me comfortable, so I added. “And me. Learn what it is like for me.” “I don’t know how to tape a diaper on,” she said. “I’ll go upstairs and do it for you,” I said. “I’ve changed some of the other girls in the scholarship program and Cassie and I have changed each other. She’s actually pretty good at it.” “Fine, but please don’t make me wet in it?” Cassie smiled. “We could all get egg nog shakes and then see who needs to be changed first.” “No,” I said. “I’m joking,” she said. “Well, come on.” I pulled Kara to her feet and led her upstairs. I looked at Cassie. “I’ll just change her in the bedroom since she doesn’t need both of us as an audience.” “Fine.” I walked with Kara into her room and we closed the door. “So take off your pants and panties and I will change you.” She slipped out of her jeans and then dropped her panties. They were purple with little black bats on them. She held her shirt down to cover her. I opened my bag and pulled out one of my diapers. She walked to the suitcase and held up a pair of my panties. “Why do you have panties in your bag?” “Because I am not letting my parents know that their college aged daughter now wears diapers. What do you think?” It was as close to the truth as possible. “Won’t your roommate realize you are a faker if she sees them?” “She won’t see them. Besides I am diapered now.” I flipped my skirt revealing my wet diaper. “Doesn’t that feel gross after awhile?” I smiled. “It actually feels really good,” I said. “You might try wetting while sitting down. That makes it warm you in more places at once. Why are you so squeamish? You taught me to wear diapers and be convincing.” “Because, I didn’t want you to go all the way to Austria,” she said. “Well, lie down.” She lay down and I opened the diaper and sat in front of her. “Lift your butt. Right there. You can put your butt down now.” I pulled the diaper between her legs and then taped her in it.” “This feels really secure,” she said. “You should be able to wet about three times before you are sufficiently wet to call this exercise over.” I slapped her leg, stood, and then pulled her to her feet. “Besides, why didn’t you tell me that you tried to get the MIT scholarship but you weren’t convincing at all.” “Would you admit you had to wear diapers?” “I don’t like to,” I said. “So far my boyfriend doesn’t know, but Cassie’s boyfriend saw me and was quite frankly a bit immature and stupid about it.” “To be honest, I filled out every scholarship app I could find and the incontinence one just hit for me. It was either that or go to State. Although I have to admit that State is hard enough. I don’t know what your grades are like at MIT, but I barely am going to sneak by with a 3.2 at State.” She reached down and picked up her pants to pull on. “No,” I said, “you need to leave your pants off so Cassie can tell you did her dare.” I then thought about my grades. My exams were all A’s except, ironically, in English where I struggled to get a C. College papers are hard. I will probably make five A’s and a C,” I said. “Wow, is Nora who studied all the time getting a bad grade in a class?” That wasn’t true. I hardly ever studied. I just did my assigned homework and made sure I had an overall understanding of the material. I knew grammar and the parts of speech and how to write a paper, but college English was really different. Our papers had to be about something. “Yes, I am bad at something. Let’s go and show Cassie your new underwear.” We opened the door and Cassie came in. She smiled. “Twirl around.” Kara did, but then she started to blush bright red. “I don’t think I like this.” “Well leave it on. Cassie and I haven’t changed since we got here.” “But Cassie… …and you,” she said adding me at the last minute, “actually need diapers.” “Thanks. I don’t know that already,” said Cassie. “Now, relax everyone.” I wanted to avoid a confrontation. “Let’s just watch stuff on Netflix.” We went back down to the living room and started watching romantic comedies. Most of them sucked, but there was one where Melissa Joan Hart gets robbed and decides to marry some guy for the wedding gifts that she met at the singles table of a wedding. It was pretty funny, at least to Kara and me. Cassie wanted to watch some science fiction series, but I had enough science fiction just from my semester at MIT. I wanted to watch a show I picked. Usually it is, “You never saw blank? Well we are going to sit you down to watch blank this weekend.” Blank either meant the Princess Bride, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Star Wars, Star Trek, Superman, or the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The one thing I really enjoyed was Ice Pirates for all its cheesiness. However, we had to stop the movie ten minutes in, because Kara’s parents were going to be home soon. “I don’t want to get caught in my diaper. I am taking it off.” “You never wet it,” said Cassie. “But at least let me put pants over it,” she said. “My parents will freak if they catch me.” “Just tell them you started bed-wetting,” said Cassie. “That actually works.” “Yeah, no.” She went upstairs and came down wearing pants. I slapped her on the butt to see if she was still diapered. She was. “Hey,” she said. “Yeah, still diapered. No start the movie. I want to find out if Melissa Joan Hart falls in love with the guy.” “Of course she will. Romance is so formula,” said Cassie. However as we watched she was totally crying by the end of the movie. Inevitably, Kara had to pee. “I have to pee,” she said. “Then pee,” said Cassie. “I did a little bit ago.” “Eww, won’t it smell bad?” “Are you saying we stink?” asked Cassie. “No, she is not,” I said. “She just doesn’t know how good a wet diaper feels. Well until it gets cool and gross.” “You’re not going to smell like pee right away,” said Cassie. “It needs awhile to get that gross ammonia smell and that is usually after you throw it away. Nora and I have a Diaper Genie so we don’t smell up our dorm room, but if I wet during my first class, I can usually wait until lunch time to change unless I have to use the toilet, then I just change afterward and I carry baby wipes in my purse.” “That sound good?” I asked. “Besides, how do you think Cassie and I feel about needing diapers?” Veronica is the person she should really ask, but I didn’t really like Veronica and Darla and here were friends, so I didn’t really need to try to bond with her. Her parents came home at that time, so her chance at bladder relief got delayed. “Oh, Nora, you’re here,” said Kara’s mother. “Yeah, I bright my roommate. I hope you don’t mind.” I put an arm around Cassie. “Mrs. Drake, this is my roommate Cassie Nova.” Kara giggled, and Cassie blushed. “It’s just Cassie. When you use my last name, I am Cassandra Nova. The people who named me were idiots.” “Well we are glad to have you here. Were your parents too far away to meet for Thanksgiving?” Cassie shrugged. “I don’t know. I never met them.” I did a shushing motion and the she said, “Well I am sorry. You are welcome to be part of our family this year.” “Thank you, Mrs. Drake,” said Cassie. “Well I am getting supper ready, but the Stevens are going out to dinner tonight or I would invite you to stay for dinner.” “Once Mom makes plans on the Steven’s Family Itinery, it is pretty much set in stone,” I said. “We should probably be getting ready,” said Cassie. “I want to make a good impression and be on time. Will you come upstairs with us Kara so you can show us where everything is.” “Sure,” said Kara. I walked upstairs with Kara and Cassie. We went into Kara’s room and then Cassie shut the door. “Did you pee yet?” Cassie asked. “No, but I really got to go,” said Kara. “Tickle fight,” said Cassie. She tackled Kara onto the bed and started to tickle her. I stepped besided her and held her kicking freet while Cassie dug her fingers into Kara’s armpits. I freed a hand and used it to tickle Kara’s feet. We had her held down and laughing for a good two minutes before Cassie let up. “Are you peeing?” she asked. Kara sat up. “OMG, it felt so warm. How do you stand this?” She got up and unbuckled her pants. Her diaper was very wet. “Okay you did the dare. Now Cassie and I have to get ready for dinner.” “Okay. I am going to take a bath now.” She ran off. I opened my bag and pulled out an outfit. I looked over at what Cassie was wearing and frowned. “You are not wearing that to my parent’s dinner.” She had picked skinny jeans and big black t-shirt that had Bill Nye on it. I rooted through her bag and didn’t find anything, so I went in my own bag and gave her one of my casual dresses. “Put this on.” “That is so not going to hide my diaper,” she said. “Duh, we are wearing panties.” She got the hint. Our diapers came off and went in Kara’s wastebasket. I’d let her deal with our wet diapers. We used wipes to clean off and soon looked ready to eat at dinner someplace nice. I twirled and my dress came up. “Don’t do that in front of Kara or she’ll think I know you are a faker. I hope we are keeping it a secret that I don’t really need diapers because I don’t trust her.” Cassie straitened the skirt of her dress and then the two of us went down stairs. “Goodbye, Mrs. Drake,” said Cassie. “We’ll see you before it’s too late. I understand we are going someplace nice to eat.” “It’s a local restaurant that your mother loves. It’s too pricy for me,” she said. “Have fun.” We went out to the car and got in. I started it and Cassie confronted me about my family. “I thought you were poor because the IRS raided your family’s bank accounts. However, they have money to remodel their house and to go to fancy restaurants. What gives? You had to pretend to be incontinent because of this.” I thought for a few minutes. “I’m not sure. I am sure my parents have a good explanation for this.”
  11. The Surrogate Baby

    Surrogate Baby Chapter One: My New Car “Beth, we bought you that car so you can get away from Peter and come home,” my mother said over the phone. It was a pre-paid phone, the phone that Mother bought for me when she came to visit last week and saw how Peter treated me. I still think she overreacted to my two black eyes. It was my fault. Peter had found dust on the top of the refrigerator. “I can’t today,” I said. “It’s only Thursday. Laundry day isn’t until Tuesday and I have nothing to wear.” “Your father and I don’t care what you wear,” my mother said. “Just throw something on.” I thought of the heavy padlock Peter had put on my bedroom closet. I couldn’t get to my clothes or my shoes. Even the clothes in my dressers were locked away from me. Only the drawer with my negligees was unlocked. Peter didn’t permit me clothing while he wasn’t around. I did have a pair of my jeans and a t-shirt in the dirty clothes basket, but that too was locked in the closet. I would not have access to it until Tuesday when I was to wash Peter’s and my clothes. “He locks the closet doors. I got to wait until Tuesday if I want to wear something besides lingerie on my great escape, Mother.” “He has you running around the house in your underwear?” Mother’s tone was angry. “Don’t worry about it,” I said. “I’ll be home on Tuesday after I finish the laundry.” “Fine, but don’t tell him about the car.” “I won’t.” I heard the front door rattle and quickly hung up and put the phone in its plastic bag and buried it in the flour canister on the kitchen counter. I did it just in time because Peter returned from work. “Is dinner ready?” he asked. “Almost,” I said. I put on a weak smile. Mother’s call had delayed me and Peter expected dinner to be ready immediately when he got home. I ran to the oven and pulled out the casserole I had started and put it on the table. I ran back to the cupboard and quickly opened a can of fruit and poured it in a serving dish. I put that on the table as well. “Dinner is ready now,” I said. He didn’t sit down. “When did I say dinner needed to be ready?” he asked. I looked down at my feet. “When you walk through the door,” I said. “And it wasn’t ready. Go get the belt.” I turned and ran to the bedroom and got the thick leather belt that Peter punished me with when I did bad things. I held it in my hands and imagined what that belt would do to me. I then turned and slowly walked back to Peter and handed him the belt. “Assume the position.” I unfastened my negligee and let I float to a pool around my ankles. After that I pulled down my panties and bent over. I closed my eyes and held my ankles as tight as I could. If I fell over while I was getting my beating, Peter wouldn’t stop. “You delayed dinner by fifteen minutes,” he said. He always calculated the time the spanking took with the actual delay. I heard the belt swish through the air and whack against my bared buttocks. I almost fell over and tried to get back into position. Two more spanks came and quick succession. One hit square on my bottom, but the other hit the back of my legs. I cried out with a shriek, but it did no good. I would get my fifteen licks no matter what I did. Four more spanks fell before I lost my balance. I fell forward, but tried to scramble back up. The beating didn’t stop. I took the last eight spanks on the ground before he finally stopped. Through my tears, I watched him sit down at the table and start eating. I wanted to stay on the floor, but I knew I better stand by in case he asked for something. I didn’t dare sit down and eat my meal because I was always banned from eating when I had a before meal spanking. “So, did you get all the other chores done today, or will we revisit the paddle,” he asked. “I scrubbed the bathroom, and dusted and vacuumed the front two rooms.” “Good,” he said. “Go to our room and wait for me there.” I knew that he was going to pretend for the rest of the day that he hadn’t hit me. It was then that my cellphone rang. Peter stood up and followed the sound of my phone to its place in the flour container. Who could be calling me? I thought. Only Mother had my phone number and she wouldn’t call me because it would give me away. He dug into the flour and pulled out my phone. “What’s this?” he asked. “Are you getting calls from a secret boyfriend?” He answered the phone and put it on speaker. To my horror, it was a man’s voice. “Vote for me this November because your vote is important to us.” I sighed with relief when I found it to be just a robocall for the election. He threw the phone at me and I dodged. The phone hit the kitchen floor and shattered. “Where did you get this phone?” he yelled. He picked up the flour canister and threw it at me as well. It grazed the side of my head and broke against the leg of the table. The plastic bag holding the car keys lay next to me and I tried to grab it before he saw it but it was too late. Pain radiated from my hand as he stomped on it so hard I had to let go of the keys. He kept kicking me harder and harder. Then he picked up the keys and then grabbed my face to look at him. “Where did you get the keys?” he asked. I had no choice but to tell the truth. “Mother left me a car to get away from you. She thinks you hurt me too much.” He got a panicked look on his face for a moment. “I’m so mad at you, that I need to calm down. I am going to leave for a bit and when I come back, I will punish you in such a way that you will never leave. He took my keys and slammed the door. He was angry and he would be even worse when he came back drunk and the mess would infuriate him. I looked around to survey the mess, but blood started dripping into my eyes. My hand hurt bad as well. I still needed to clean up the mess, so I crawled toward the flour mess and collapsed. ### “Bang, bang, bang!” came a sound from the door. I must have blacked out but the banging woke me. There was a pool of blood on the floor. I was still naked from my beating and surrounded by spilled flour and broken pottery. I got up and tried to get to the door. I knew that Peter would apologize and take me to the hospital soon and I was feeling pretty dizzy when I stood. I tried to open the door, but my hand hurt so bad. It looked purple and swollen. I tried the other hand. It was even worse. “Bang, bang, bang!” I couldn’t grip the doorknob. I heard yelling outside. “This is the police, we know you are in there?” The police were here? I had to hide. If they saw me like this then they might find out Peter had hit me and he would go to jail. I turned toward the kitchen to hide from them. Before I could find a hiding place, there was a crack as the wood splintered and two policemen entered the house. They saw the blood, the flour, the mess, and me. “Ma’am, are you all right?” the first cop said. “Just sit down.” I knew better than to disobey. The second cop ran out of the house. “What happened?” he asked. “I fell down the stairs,” I said. “That is bullshit,” he answered. I just looked at him. I did not dare argue either. The second cop returned with a first aid kit. He pulled out some gauze and tried to pull it toward my head. I put my arms up to shield myself, but he bypassed them and started soaking up the bleeding on my head. “She needs stitches,” he said. The first cop asked, “How did you get all the way back here? And where are your clothes.” I was confused. “From the kitchen? I crawled.” “How did you get all the way back here from the accident scene?” he asked. “Oh,” I said. I almost slipped with my story about falling down the stairs. “I crawled up the stairs and accidently knocked the flour over.” “That is bullshit. We just came from the scene of the accident. Your boyfriend is dead. Your car is totaled and you are covered in blood.” “What?” Peter was dead and my new car was totaled? “He didn’t take my little Ford Fiesta?” I heard sirens in the distance and shivered. I was very cold all the sudden. It started getting dark. Not dark. I had just passed out. ### I woke up in a soft bed in a very bright hospital room. I looked down at myself. I wore only a hospital gown. Both my hands felt very heavy and I lifted my arms up to see why. Both hands were wrapped in plaster. I put them down on the bed and looked around the room. There was a TV in the corner, but it was off. I lay in a bed with rails on the sides. Beside me was a table with a button on the corner that looked like a doorbell. The walls were all white. To my left was a huge window, but the drapes were shut. On the right were windows, but they led into a hall. It was bright out there too. A nurse walked in. It was Patricia. I recognized her from the last time I was in the hospital. That time was from a broken arm. “Good,” she said. “You are awake.” She took my blood pressure and then looked at the top of my head. My head felt cold. “You poor thing,” she said. “How bad is it this time?” I asked. I wondered if it was more than stitches and my hands. “You had big gashes in your head. The doctor had to give you a bit of a haircut before he could give you stitches. Your hands will take at least three months before we can get the casts off and then you will need some physical therapy.” “You cut my hair?” Peter loved my long hair and wouldn’t be happy if it were cut. She held a mirror for me. The doctor had completely shaved my head with clippers. An ugly black X from stitches crossed the top of my head. I looked hideous. I started to cry. “Don’t worry, baby,” the nurse said. “Your hair will grow back and cover the scar and no one will know.” “But Peter will be angry,” I wailed. “Peter died in the car wreck,” she said. “Don’t you remember? I say it serves him right. He was always beating you and then bringing you here.” “I fell down the stairs,” I said. “That’s mean of you to tell me Peter died and that he deserved it.” “Five times in the last year?” she asked. “Yes,” I said. I knew she didn’t believe me. None of the times in the hospital were from falling down the stairs. “Well, you better tell the cops the truth this time,” said Patricia. “They think you were in that car with your boyfriend and that you fled the scene of an accident. That is pretty serious.” I knew I was in big trouble. Chapter Two: Nowhere to Go Maybe I should have taken Patricia’s advice. I stuck to my story about falling down the stairs and now I was being charged with leaving the scene of an accident. Also, Peter managed to run into some poor pregnant lady and she lost her baby. Since Peter was dead, they couldn’t blame the person who was really responsible. Peter’s mother blamed me because Peter would have never got into my car and drove it to the bar if I hadn’t made him angry. I had felt guilty about that, but the councilors at the woman’s shelter where I moved into after I got out of the hospital convinced me that it was not my fault. My own mother was upset with me about letting Peter know about the car and she changed her mind about me moving back home. I also had court that day. I had to face the woman whose baby Peter killed and convince her that I was not responsible. Today was also my last day at the shelter. My abuser, Peter, was no longer a threat to me since he was dead. I couldn’t return home, and I couldn’t go back to Peter’s house. Peter’s mother had inherited the house and told me that I was not allowed near the place ever again. I couldn’t even get my clothes although it was only one pair of jeans, a few T-shirts, and lots of lingerie. I slid off the sweats I wore daily. There were the only things I could pull up and down so I could go to the bathroom. I looked down at the bed and the pantsuit I found in the professional interview closet they had at the shelter. My roommate Amy helped get me ready. I looked in the mirror. I looked terrible, but at least my hair was starting to grow. It was about an inch long and the scars were almost covered by my hair. Less than satisfied, I took the bus to court. ### There were two transfers from the woman’s shelter to the courthouse. I had to drag my duffle with everything I owned in it. By the time I got to the courthouse, I had just enough time to get to the bathroom and pee before court. I entered the first lady’s room and then I knew I was in trouble. I had to pee so bad and all I could do was stand in front of the toilet and cry. The zipper on the suit pants was on the side, so I couldn’t reach it with both hands when they were in the casts. My broken fingers were held immobile by the plaster and I knew I would wet my pants any second. I crossed my legs and started to cry. “What’s wrong?” a woman asked me. “I got to be in court in five minutes and I got to pee. I can’t get my pants undone.” “Would you like me to help you?” asked the woman. I crossed my legs tighter and rocked from side to side. “Please help me before I wet my pants.” She gently undid my pants and pulled down both my pants and my panties. I quickly sat down and started peeing almost as soon as I landed. A second later and I would have been walking into my court appearance with wet pants. I wondered how I would get my pants back up. I need not have worried. The lady was still outside the stall when I came out. “Um,” I said. “Sit back down,” she said. She took some toilet paper and helped me wipe. I had been going around with damp panties since I got out of the hospital because I couldn’t wipe very well with my broken hands. “Stand now,” she said. I did and she pulled up my panties and pants. “My name is Violet,” she said. “I know from experience that wet pants aren’t very much fun. When I was pregnant, I had to resort to diapers.” “Oh my goodness,” I said. “Was it that bad?” “It’s not that bad,” said Violet. She had sadness in her eyes. “Well, thank you,” I said. “I got to run and get to court.” ### Whoever said, ninety percent of success is being there never was in court. I was grilled cross examined and then yelled at by a judge and several lawyers. I was also told that I was worthless and deserved to go to jail. I was used to being told I was worthless though. Peter made that clear to me. Then Violet entered the courtroom and took the stand. What was she doing? “So can you tell us what happened?” “I was in my car driving on Beaumont Ave and this car came from nowhere and crossed the centerline and hit me. My airbag when out and then...,” she said and then paused. “It hit my abdomen and I lost...” She paused again. “...I lost my baby.” She started to cry. “No further questions,” said the prosecutor. My lawyer went to the stand and asked her the most intelligent question of his career. “How many people did you see in the car?” “I don’t know,” she said. “It was too dark.” “You didn’t see anyone get out of the car?” “No,” she said. “I have no more questions, ma’am. You may step down.” Finally it was my turn to speak. I got up and went to the stand. Violet made eye contact with me and gave me a dirty look. I was nervous up on the stand. I had to pee really bad all the sudden. I was about to pee myself, I was so scared. However, my lawyer just asked me to say what happened. I am happy to say that I told the truth. “...And I woke up and the cops were pounding on my door,” I said. “So you didn’t leave the accident?” “No, sir.” “You weren’t even at the accident?” “No sir,” “No further questions.” I started to get up. “I am going to cross examine you,” said the opposing lawyer. “We found your blood in the car. Do you care to explain that?” “He kicked me in the head before he left.” “Sure. So where did you get those injuries. You had head trama.” “The flour canister,” I said. “He threw a flour canister at me.” “That sounds pretty violent. Strange that your boyfriend didn’t have a record of battering women.” “Because it was my fault he hit me. I didn’t do what I was supposed to do and had to be punished. That’s why I couldn’t say anything. If I did he would go to jail and I would have no one.” “She knows the right words to say. Of course she did because she lived in a woman’s shelter the past few months,” said the prosecuter. “You may step down now,” he told me. I retreated back to the table and sat down.” That didn’t go as well as I planned. It went worse when the jury came back with a verdict. I was found guilty of leaving the scene of an accident. I sat there and cried. I couldn’t go to jail. I didn’t know what to do. “Relax,” said my lawyer. “You might only get probation and have to pay restitution.” I looked up at the judge. “Two years probation and twenty-five thousand in restitution to your victims,” he said. “You need to have a job, a play to live, and make progress on paying your restitution or else I will put you in jail for the full six years of your sentence.” I had nothing. No job or income and as of tonight I was homeless. I couldn’t pay the restitution no matter if it were twenty-five dollars or twenty-five million. I continued to cry and just left the courtroom. I had to pee really bad, but I had no one to help me with my zipper, so I just left to walk as far as I could. I didn’t make it far. The urge to pee got worse and worse. Everything seemed closed. I was going to have to find a place soon. I felt some dribble into my panties. It wouldn’t be long now. I tried to get into and ally and then I went for the zipper. No luck. I couldn’t get my plaster covered fingers to grip the zipper hard enough so it wouldn’t slip when I pulled it down. Suddenly I started peeing. It was broad daylight and I was peeing my pants in public. The gray material of my pants was getting darker around my crotch and now my inseams. I peed until I was empty. I was so embarrassed. However, I had to leave the ally to find a bathroom and change. I still had sweats in my duffle bag. I left the ally and started to walk. It was obvious that I peed my pants. A car stopped beside me. It was a blue Mercedes. The passenger side window came down and there was Violet, the lady whose baby Peter had killed with my car. “Do you need a ride?” she asked. “No,” I said. “You look like you had an accident,” she said. “I did,” I said. “Climb in the backseat and we will give you a ride,” said Violet. I had no choice. I got in and sat on a towel they had on the seat. “For what it’s worth, I am sorry the Peter hurt your family in the accident. I would do anything to make it up if I could.” “Anything?” asked Violet. “Well, yes,” she said. “Your lawyer said you had no income and can’t work for a few more months before the physical therapy can begin. We though you could make up what you own us by being a live-in maid for us.” “I guess,” I said. Chapter Three: A change in Living Arrangements Violet and her husband Jeff lived in a large house in a nice neighborhood. I blushed as I saw ever yard almost with people in it. How was I going to get in their house with my wet pants? I didn’t worry long. They pulled into the garage. Violet and Jeff got out and Violet opened my door. I stepped out as well. Their garage was beautiful as well. Jeff went in the house, but Violet stopped me. “Take off your wet shoes. I am going to get you undressed and then we can get you a bath. You are pretty smelly,” she said. Of course I was smelly. I couldn’t shower well. I couldn’t even wipe myself. I was disgusting. I slipped off my shoes and then she undressed my completely before taking me in the house. She not only threw away everything I had on, but she emptied the contents of my duffle bag in a trashcan in the garage. “Hey,” I protested. “Those disgusting sweats and grayed t-shirts and underclothes can go away. I will not have you dressed like a homeless person. She then pulled me by the hand into the bathroom. She sat me on the toilet and left me. I took advantage of the time by using the bathroom. I thought I had privacy until she came back with two bread bags. She put those on my arms so my casts wouldn’t get wet and then she started a bath for me. She set me in the water and I lay back. “Thank you for everything,” I said. “Well, you really need to be clean. I don’t think you can care for yourself adequately when you are so disheveled.” It was true. When I showered at the woman’s shelter, I could wash my body with bags over my hands. I couldn’t hold the soap well either. My hair suffered. Here, I just lay back in the bath and soaked. She let me lay in there for a while and then brought a washcloth and started scrubbing me as if I were a baby. It was pretty embarrassing. “Hey. What are you doing?” “I am cleaning you.” “You are treating me like a baby,” I said. She stood up and turned away. “Thanks to your boyfriend, I can’t treat my baby like a baby,” she said with a sob. “I’m sorry,” I said. She took me in. I should be grateful and not complain. “You may treat me like a baby if you want to.” “Really?” she said. “Do you mean it? I’d like that so much.” She finished soaping me. Then she rinsed me off. “Your hair is so short,” she said. “It’s almost is baby length.” “The doctor cut it for stitches,” I said. “I had beautiful long hair before.” I stopped. “Well before.” “It’s pretty and blonde,” she said. “I think my baby would have had blonde hair.” She lifted me into a standing position and helped me out of the tub. “Let’s get you dried off.” I let her dry me, then she left me standing there in the bathroom. She returned a short while later carrying something white and plastic. “Lie down on the floor so I can diaper you,” she said. “What?” I asked. “I’m not wearing diapers.” Sure I wet myself today, but that was an accident. She looked disappointed and I saw a tear running down her cheek. “But you said I could baby you. You also promised you would do whatever you could to make up for me losing my baby.” I sighed. I didn’t think she meant that. “Fine,” I said and lay down on the floor. My face felt hot as I lay down and submitted to a diaper change. As soon as it was over I stood up. She put a pink T-shirt on me and then led me down the hall. I thought I was going to bed, but I was wrong. She sat me on the couch next to her husband Jeff and left the room. “I’m going to make dinner now. Take care of our guest,” she said. I looked at her husband and he looked at me. He seemed as embarrassed as I was. My t-shirt was long enough to hide the diaper, but I had no pants. I was mortified. Jeff looked at me. “Are you wearing pants?” I shook my head. “Violet dumped all my clothes in the trash. She said they were disgusting.” “She’ll get something for you to wear tomorrow then,” he said. He covered me with a blanket from the back of the couch. “I bet you are cold.” I wasn’t but I took the blanket anyway and covered up. He was probably saving face. I was glad to have something to cover me if the t-shirt rode up. ### After the ten o’clock news, Violet took me up to my new bedroom. We had eaten in front of the TV before hand and I was tired from my long day. I stood up and we went upstairs together. “I have to go to the bathroom,” I announced. “Is your diaper wet?” she asked. She reached under my t-shirt to check. “No,” I said as I jumped away. “It will be soon if I don’t get to a bathroom.” “You said you’d be my baby,” she said. “Babies wet their diapers. They don’t announce that they have to use the bathroom.” “But...,” I said. “You promised to let me take care of you,” she said. “If it weren’t for your boyfriend wrecking your car, I would have a baby I could change.” I crossed my legs and gave her a pleading look. “I’m going to put you to bed when I take you to your room. When I do so, I am going to check your diaper. If it is wet, then I will change you. If not, then I guess you can wait until morning.” I was stubborn and held it. She took me to the room she picked out for me. It was a baby’s nursery complete with changing table, crib, and mobile. She put down the rail of the crib. Climb in,” she said. “It’s a baby crib,” I protested. “I’m too big.” “Nonsense,” she said. “You at most weigh 115 pounds. Get in.” I climbed in and she pulled the rail up. “There is no pillow and blanket in here,” I complained. “I’ll get them for you. Don’t leave the crib.” I lay back and stared at the mobile. This was ridicules. How did I get myself in this situation? She returned with an adult sized pillow and blanket. I curled up with them. “Are you sure you don’t want to wet your diaper before bedtime? I will change you and you can get a good night’s sleep.” “I’m not going to wet a diaper for you,” I said. “Would you like a nightlight?” she asked. “No,” I said. She left. I rolled over and tried to go to sleep. After an hour, I woke up with an urgent need to pee. I tried to pull down the rail, but my casts prevented it. Instead, I slowly wet my diaper. It felt very warm and it tickled against my skin. It almost felt pleasant, but I would never admit that. I struggled to get to sleep and didn’t wake up until the sun streamed through my windows. Chapter Four: Going Out Dressed Like This I woke up, lying in a puddle. I was soaking wet and my diaper had leaked. I sighed and then tried to sit up. Since it was light, I could see how the mechanism on the rail of the crib worked. However, I couldn’t get my fingers around the latch. “Damn casts,” I muttered. I looked around. There was a clock on the wall over the door. “Eight-thirty.” I hoped the clock was right. “Violet,” I called. Nothing. I did hear some stirring in the next room, but it didn’t sound like they were coming into my bedroom or rather nursery. I looked down at the diaper. It swelled to become three times as thick and the white looked yellowish and grainy. The blue stripes were missing except for at the top of my waist. My t-shirt was wet around the bottom and up my back. I was uncomfortable. “Violet,” I called again. “I am uncomfortable.” Violet entered the room from the other room. She was only wearing a robe. “You don’t have to yell. I can hear you over the baby monitor. Besides, babies yell out mommy or cry.” “I am not calling you mommy,” I said. “Then you can sit in the wet diaper until I decide to come in on my own or you can cry.” She turned and left. I sat there, but I was stubborn. I wasn’t going to call that woman mommy. After sitting in the wet diaper for about twenty minutes, I noticed how cold and clammy it was. I finally gave in and started to cry like a baby. “Wah, wah,” I said into the baby monitor. “Wah, wah.” Violet entered the room again. This time she was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. She smiled. “Wah, wah,” I said. “That cry doesn’t sound too convincing.” “This is the best you are going to get,” I said. “Well, it’s a start.” She lowered the crib rail and helped me out. “It looks like you need some clothes, Baby Beth.” She looked into the crib and saw the wet spot. “And better diapers. Never fear about that. I found a medical supply store on Google. We can go there after your bath.” Oh great. I was going to get better diapers, so this meant I was stuck with them. I needed a bath, so I didn’t argue. Followed her to the bathroom and stood there and let her do what she wanted to me. She first put the bread bags on my casts and pulled off my diaper and t-shirt. Then she sat me down in the tub. “So how long are you going to treat me like a baby?” I asked. “As long as you are staying with us,” she said, “unless you want to work as a maid and keep the house spotless? Until those casts come off though, you will not make an effective maid and I will let your probation officer know how badly you work. So which is it: be my baby or my maid?” I didn’t relish the idea of wearing diapers and sleeping in a crib, but I liked the idea less of cleaning the house. When I lived with Peter, I was effectively a maid and I got beaten a lot. I would hate that. At least as a baby, I wasn’t beaten. “I’ll be your baby, then,” I said. She started to scrub me and then stopped. “I almost forgot,” she said. She turned and opened that bathroom cabinet and pulled out a rubber duck and a toy boat. “I have bath toys.” She put them in the water and started scrubbing me. I ignored the toys and concentrated on where she was rubbing me with the wash cloth. “Play with the toys,” she said. I waved my bread bag covered hands at her. “I can’t really hold onto things.” She gave me her disappointed look, so I added. “Much like a real baby, I can’t hold stuff.” That seemed to satisfy her. “Well, thanks for accepting this. I know I originally wanted you as a maid because I haven’t been able to keep up the house since the accident. I just lay in bed all day since I was so depressed. Treating you like a baby is better than having a maid. I have to get out of bed to care for you and a maid would just let me sleep in and clean rooms I would never look at.” She rubbed shampoo in my short, fuzzy hair and then rinsed it out by pouring water on my head from a Tupperware pitcher. I remember my mother did that when I was little. “I will try to be your baby then. It is the least I can do.” I didn’t mind wetting the diaper that much. I was being a brat last night, but I was embarrassed. She drained the tub and told me to stand up. I did and she dried me off and then brushed my hair. “I wish your hair was longer. I would put pigtails in it,” she said. “No way,” I said. “I am not wearing pig tails.” “Well lie down, so I can get your diaper on you.” I lay down on the floor. I felt stupid as she diapered me. She had me lift up my butt and she slid the clean diaper under me. Then I felt something cold and slimy against my butt. I sat up and batted at her with my right arm. “What was that?” I asked. She held up a plastic jar for me to read. “It’s Desitin. It’s for diaper rash. Going to bed with a full bladder was not a good idea and you are starting to get a bit red.” She pushed me back down. “Now let me finish diapering you.” She rubbed the slimy cream on my butt and then sprinkled powder on me before taping me in my diaper. I smelled like a baby. She pulled me to my feet. “You don’t have your own clothes, so you will have to wear mine today,” she said. She took me by the arm into her bedroom. I had never seen it before. There was a queen-sized bed with throw pillows and shams all over it like you would see in a catalogue for bedding. There was a large dresser with a mirror and a chest of drawers. There were also two large walk-in closets. She first opened the dresser and pulled out a t-shirt. It was red with pink hearts on it. It was also a short baby doll shirt. “Lift your arms.” I did and she pulled the shirt on me. “There you go,” she said as she pulled in on. The shirt barely covered the top of my diaper. I sighed. At least no one would see my diaper in the house except her. By the time I looked up again, she had a pair of blue jeans. With her help I stepped into them. She was a larger size than I, but the diaper made me need that much room. I spun around in front of the mirror and couldn’t see the diaper, but there was an obvious bulge. I was not happy about that. The shirt came an inch or two below the waist of the jeans. At least I had that working for me. There was something missing though. “Shouldn’t I wear a bra?” I asked. “You don’t need a bra,” she said. I looked down at my chest and sighed. The shirt was fitted, so I could see the shape of my breasts in the mirror, but they weren’t really ample. I sighed. With a bra, I looked like I had bigger breasts. “Sit down and I will find you some shoes,” she said. I sat down on a cedar chest at the end of the bed and sighed. At least I was getting shoes. I wondered what happened to the Goodwill shoes from my duffle bag or even the scuffed dress shoes I wore to court. I bet they were both thrown away with my other clothes. She returned with some sneakers. “I noticed you were size six,” she said. “I wore these once and then I got pregnant and my feet swelled to a size eight.” She put some blue socks on me and then pulled on the pink sneakers one by one and tied them. “Walk around then.” I stood up and took a few steps. “They fit great. Thank you.” “Well, don’t thank me yet. We need to go to the store to get you suitable clothes. You can’t wear my clothes all the time.” I looked down at my crotch. The bulge was staring back at me. “Um,” I said. “Can you please get me baggy pants at the store?” “You can come with me shopping to get them,” she said. “But everyone will see I am diapered,” I said. “So what? Babies don’t worry about someone seeing them diapered.” “But people expect to see a diaper on a baby, not a twenty-two year old woman,” I said. “No one will notice anyway,” she said. “No one said anything when I wore diapers when I was pregnant. If someone says anything, we’ll just give them a cover story.” She picked up a bag and put it on my shoulder and took me by the arm toward the garage. “What’s with the big bag?” I asked. “It’s your diaper bag in case you need a change while we are out.” “But,” I started. She wouldn’t listen to me. I prepared for an embarrassing day as we went to the garage and put me in the passenger seat of her Volvo. ### She didn’t drive directly to the mall. Instead she drove out by the hospitals which were across the freeway from the courthouse. She pulled into the parking lot of a small store and came around to let me out of the car. The place said Sander’s Medical Supply. “What are we getting here?” I asked. “It would be in your best interest to remain quiet when we are in here and let me do all the talking.” She opened the door and we went in. Inside there were rows of wheel chairs, oxygen tanks, hospital beds, and angry rows of shelves that went into the dark recesses of the store. One section said catheters. I knew what those were from the hospital. I shivered. I never wanted to experience a catheter again. “May I help you ladies?” an older woman asked. She wore light blue smocks. She smiled at Violet. “Yes,” Violet said. “I need some adult diapers for my niece here.” She put her hand on my shoulder. “We’ve been using Depends and they don’t hold up to her wettings well.” I wanted to disappear into the floor. I wished it would have swallowed me up so I would be here to face the embarrassment. “Carlos,” the older woman called. A handsome man appeared. He looked like he was about twenty-four. He was strong and handsome and his biceps seemed barely contained by the sleeves of his smock. I was in love. I forgot about being in diapers I wanted him to hold me in his arms. He looked almost like Brad Pitt and... Violet rubbed a Kleenex across my mouth. “You are drooling again Beth.” I was mortified. Carlos smiled at me. “How are you doing?” Violet turned toward Carlos. “She was in a car accident a few months ago and suffered a head injury.” She parted my hair and showed them the scar from my stitches. “She suffered some brain damage and we need adult diapers for her.” His smile disappeared. I purposely let out some more drool, but I was upset. He looked like he was interested in me until he heard I was brain damaged and needed diapers. I knew why Violet lied to him. It would be silly to tell them I agreed to be her baby to make up for the real baby she lost when my boyfriend stole my car. The old lady took a measuring tape and put it around my hips. I backed up and clung to Violet’s arm like a scared toddler. “It’s all right,” said Violet. “She is just going to measure you.” I let myself be measured, but I hated what I was being measured for. As soon as she had a number she turned to Carlos. “Please bring two cases of medium-sized Tranquility ATN Briefs.” He disappeared. I wanted to ask her what ATN stood for, but that would blow my cover as a retard. I clung to Violet instead. “She is actually between small and medium, but I find that the larger size absorbs a bit more,” the lady said. “We do have individual diapers if you want to change her into one now and see how it fits.” “That sound like a good idea,” said Violet. The woman reached under the counter and handed her a diaper that looked huge next to the Depends I had on. “Let’s get you changed, Beth,” she said. I was embarrassed enough and now she was going to change me in front of all these people. I got on the floor and closed my eyes. To my surprise, Violet pulled me to my feet. “Not here, Beth. I am sure this nice lady has somewhere private we can change.” She turned toward the lady again. “We change her on the floor at home, so I guess that is why she did that.” “I understand,” said the lady. “You can go to the bathroom through there.” She pointed to a hall. “There are adult sized changing tables in there.” I felt relieved. Carlos came down the stairs from the upper tiers of shelves carrying the two cases of diapers. Violet pulled me down the hall to the bathroom. It was a normal bathroom, but there was a counter in one corner with padding like someone laid a mat like kindergarteners used for naps. I laid on the mat and Violet started undoing my pants and then she took my diaper off. I had to pee a bit and felt like letting go like a real baby would, but I decided not to. She had tried to minimize my embarrassment in what was supposed to be an embarrassing transaction. She pulled the new diaper on me and taped it up. “There are only four tapes,” I said. “That other diaper had six.” “It’s a different brand,” she said. She taped the diaper in place and tried to pull my pants up. “Well it fits you. Stand up so I can get your pants pulled up.” I stood and she tugged the pants up. This diaper was much thicker and she had trouble getting my zipper up and my pants buttoned. The bulge was a lot bigger. “I can’t go out like this,” I complained. “Can you get one of the spares from my diaper bag and change me into that?” Violet shook her head. “We are shopping for clothes for you next. I only have the two Depends in your diaper bag left. You need clothes that fit over these diapers so you got to wear these.” It made sense, but I was still going to be embarrassed. “Fine, but you need to change me into the new pants as soon as we buy the first outfit.” “It’s a deal. Now no talking or they will know you are not really incontinent.” She led me back out into the showroom. “It fits her fine. It’s a little snug under her clothes, but at least she will keep her pants dry.” Carlos gave me a weird look at my puffy crotch. I looked like I had a diaper on. How did I get into this? I still stared at him as Violet and the lady concluded their transaction. I pretended to be fascinated by his watch and grabbed at it so I could touch his hand. He frowned and then held me by the shoulders until Violet finished paying. “What did the doctor’s say about the brain damage?” he asked. “She’s just has the mind of a three year old,” said Violet. She took me by the upper arm. “We are hoping that she heals. The brain does rewire around damage, but the doctor said that might take years. She just needs a home right now and that is what I am trying to provide her. Her father is in prison and her mother died, so she just has me.” “At least you are hopeful,” Carlos said. He leaned down and picked up the two cases of diapers and followed them to Violet’s Volvo. He put them both in the back and went back inside. Violet helped me into the passenger seat and then got into the car. “What was that about you grabbing at the young man’s wrist?” “You wanted me to act like a baby. I acted like a baby,” I said. “You liked him,” she said. “Duh,” I said. “However, I can’t ever date him because he thinks that I am retarded.” “Not retarded. You are brain damaged from an accident.” I shrugged. It’s not that it made much of a difference. I wasn’t going to be dating anyone soon. I still was healing from the injuries my last boyfriend gave me. She drove me to the mall parking lot. The lot was packed with cars and I just knew that inside it would be equally busy. She came around to the other side of the car and opened the door for me. Then she went to the back of the car and opened one of the cases of diapers and put two in my diaper bag. She stuffed the two Depends in the case with the new diapers. “Come on,” she said. “Let’s go shopping.” I looked at my reflection in the car window and noticed how puffy my butt was. “Please, don’t make me go in dressed like this.” She looked at me with a stern look. “I thought we had a deal. Besides, don’t you want something to wear that will cover your diapers?” I frowned. I didn’t want to go in. I used to shop at this mall back when I was in college. I hadn’t been there in the three years I lived with Peter. I couldn’t shop when I was his kept woman. Perhaps I wouldn’t see anyone I knew. I shrugged and then let her take me by the arm above my cast and guide me into the mall. It sure was crowded and I was nervous about anyone noticing that the big bulge inside my pants was a thick diaper. I was starting to need to pee as well. I hadn’t peed yet when I woke up since I was used to holding it until I got to a toilet. That part of my life was skipped over in the rush to go shopping and I hadn’t thought of peeing. I was in the mall and had to pee and I knew the toilets were on the far side of the mall. “We need to head to the restrooms,” I whispered. “I need to pee.” “You are wearing your bathroom,” she said. “Babies don’t say they have to pee. They just pee. That’s why you are wearing a diaper.” I sighed. “I’ll try to hold it until we get home.” “Suit yourself,” she said. We walked into the first store and she picked out some clothes for me. She held up various items to me and smiled. “This looks good,” she said. “I can’t button that with these casts on,” I said. “Nonsense,” she said. “I will help you.” I had to pee more. I tried crossing my legs, but the diapers I wore were too thick and I couldn’t close my legs enough to do any good. I tried to pretend I was anywhere, but where I was. “Can I help you ladies?” the sales person asked. “Yes,” said Violet. “My niece here needs to try on some things. She broke her arms, so can I please accompany her into the fitting rooms to help her?” “Well, we normally just want one at a time in the fitting rooms due to shoplifters, but I guess it will be okay since she can’t try on things herself.” The sales girl turned to me. “I bet that sucks. I broke my legs in June and had to be in a wheel chair for a month. I could still write and do schoolwork though.” I didn’t answer. I was paying more attention to keeping my pants dry. However, Violet spoke for me. “She doesn’t talk.” I felt some wetness leak from my vagina. I was going to wet myself. I held on tight. If I walked or took a step, I was going to have an accident. “Right this way to the fitting room,” said the sales girl. I just stood there trying not to pee. Violet pulled me to follow and I stumbled a step and a big wet squirt came out. If I wasn’t wearing a diaper, there would have been a wet spot. “Come on,” she said and pulled me again. I gasped and then the flood gates opened and I peed myself. I just looked down at myself. The pee wouldn’t stop until my bladder was empty no matter how hard I tried to clamp down. Finally, I was in a warm, wet diaper and managed to follow Violet to the fitting room. As soon as the door was closed, she undid my pants and pulled them down. She put her hand in my diaper. “You wet, didn’t you?” I didn’t say anything. I did push my diaper bag at her. “No, you’re not wet enough for a change. Now lift up your arms and we’ll try these shirts.” I lifted my arms and let her try on about twelve shirts on me. Then she took off my shoes and had me try on the pants and skirts she picked out. She picked up some light blue plaid overalls and held them open near the floor. “Step in,” she said. “I don’t like those,” I said. “I do,” she said. “They will make you look so cute.” I shrugged. “It’s just not my style,” I said. She gave me that look: the look that said I was disappointing her. Still, I couldn’t cave that easily. “Doesn’t my opinion count?” I asked. “Beth,” she said, “a baby can’t complain about what clothes she wears. Did you always complain about your clothing?” I thought about it. The overalls did look stupid and I would be embarrassed to wear them in public, but I didn’t try to kid myself that they weren’t an improvement over silk negligees. I could wear these in public. Sure Violet controlled my life as much as Peter did, but at least she never beat me. I stepped into the overalls and she pulled them up. “Now if only you had enough hair for pigtails you would be adorable,” she said and brushed the fuzziness on the side of my head. I tried not to wince. “You are tugging my stitches,” I complained. “Oh, sorry,” she said. She turned me toward the mirror and I looked at myself. The outfit made me look younger. The small boobs I had disappeared behind the bib of the overalls and the outfit did nothing to accentuate the curvature of my hips. My hair also looked like a baby’s. It was too short. Only the trim of the shirt suggested I was a girl. “Now you do look cute,” she said. “We do got to do something about that hair though. We’ll go to Claire’s next.” I groaned. In high school all my friends went to Claire’s. I was always bored. If I wanted something feminine, I went to Hot Topic and got retro cartoon stuff, not earrings and hair doodads. Peter cured me of my grunge look, but I didn’t count on the pole dancing look until he already isolated me at home. She dressed me in what I was wearing before and I looked down to make sure the diaper was hidden. It was, but the bulge felt huge. It expanded when I peed myself. I looked down expecting it to be huge. It wouldn’t be noticeable unless someone walked the mall looking at the butts of every woman to check for evidence of diapers. I didn’t think anyone would do that. We left the dressing room and Violet put everything on the counter. “All of it?” the sales girl asked. She started to ring up the purchases. “My commission’s going to be great thanks to you guys. If there is anything else you need just ask for Elsie. I will come in on my day off to help you.” I smiled at her. She sounded nice. I couldn’t thank her without blowing my cover, but Violet did thank her. After we paid for the purchases, we left the store. “Where to next?” I asked. I tried to walk slowly to avoid having my shirt ride up or something embarrassing, but she was guiding me quickly by my arm. “Claire’s,” she said. We went inside and it was packed with teen girls. I sighed. That was another reason I hated the place. I was an adult, not a teenager. I looked down at the bulge of my diaper. I felt like a toddler, but teenagers still annoyed me. As soon as we walked in, a sales clerk bypassed all the teenagers, who were probably not going to buy anything. “Can I help you ladies?” “Yes,” said Violet. “I need some headbands for my niece. She had surgery and they had to cut her hair.” “Oh, I am sorry. I hope you get better,” she said to me. I forgot and nodded. “Thank you.” Violet glared at me, but shrugged. “Our headbands are right here.” She guided us to a rack in one corner of the store and then went back to keep an eye on the teenagers. “I thought you weren’t talking,” Violet scolded me. “I forgot.” I reached for a head band. It was a black elastic headband with a black rose made out of the same material. “I like this one,” I said. She took it and several others that she liked and we went to check out. I was sure glad to be out of there. When we got out of the store, I asked her to put one of the headbands on me. I missed having long hair and the bit of fuzz on my head depressed me. I thought it made me look like a boy. She didn’t pick my black one that I liked. She picked a red one with a pink heart on it. It matched my shirt, but still, I hated it. The black one was feminine, but much more subdued. Next we went to the food court. “Where shall we eat?” asked Violet. I looked around. There was a Sbarro’s pizza, a Subway, a Coldstone Creamery, a Chick-Fil-A, and even a Burger King, and a Carl’s Jr. I hadn’t eaten out in a long time. Once I moved in with Peter, he never took me out and I could only afford the food at the woman’s shelter cafeteria, so never could eat out then. “Coldstone?” I asked. “It’s eleven-thirty in the morning and you need real food, not dessert.” I looked around. The pizza looked inviting, but I didn’t want that. I never did like Subway since I had saved up my stamps for a new sandwich and they suddenly stopped accepting stamps. That made me mad. At the Carl Jr. there was a sign for a monstrous burger with jalapenos and a third pound patty. I pointed and said, “I want that.” “Are you sure you don’t want a kid’s meal from Burger King?” she asked. “I’m sure. I want the Six Dollar Burger with jalapenos.” I knew what I wanted. I hadn’t had a good restaurant meal in three years. I wanted something good. I didn’t think about the fact that it would end up in my diaper and that I would regret everyone of those jalapenos. “Okay,” she said. She ordered and we sat down. Then I had another problem. I had casts on my arms and couldn’t hang onto stuff really well. I sat and stared at the yummy burger sitting in front of me, the curly fries, again too spicy to eat before you sit in the resulting messy diaper. However I am getting ahead of myself here. I couldn’t lift the burger to my mouth. “May I have some help?” I asked. She sat across from me and she had the same thing. She giggled at me and then continued to eat her sandwich. I had to rely on my thumb and forefinger on my left hand to pick up one curly fry at a time. Between each bite of fry I ate, I stared hungrily at my burger until Violet finished hers. As soon as she was done, she picked up my burger and held it for me. I took a grateful bite and then savored the wonderful feeling of the food. I felt the spice of jalapenos and I knew I was in heaven. She fed me bite after bite until the sandwich was done and the burning in my mouth increased. Of course, I didn’t look as wonderful as I felt. The sandwich is too big for my mouth and even though Violet held the sandwich still, I got a lot of the special sauce on my mouth. Violet smiled and then she did something embarrassing. She took my diaper bag and pulled out a container of wipes, and then proceeded to clean my face and hands. I was humiliated. I looked around to see if anyone noticed the diaper peaking out of the duffle bag, but no one did. They did notice me getting my face cleaned like a toddler though. A guy across the dining room snickered. I wanted to sink into the floor. I also needed to pee. The thirty-two ounces of Dr. Pepper really hit me hard. I knew Violet would never take me to the bathroom no matter how I argued and I did feel a bit uncomfortable, so I relaxed and peed. When I start peeing, I can’t stop until I am empty. My mother used to tell me that is unhealthy, but I really never let it bother me. However I tried to stop as soon as I felt wetness at the leg bands of my diaper. “Violet,” I whispered, “you got to take me to the bathroom now.” “Use your diaper,” she whispered back. “I just did and there will be a wet spot on my pants real quick if you don’t take me to the bathroom and change me right now.” I was in full panic. I was going to be humiliated. “Relax,” she said. “If you haven’t leaked yet, you won’t until you wet again. I’ll change you after dinner.” I still worried, but I nibbled on each of my remaining curly fries while I waited for Violet to eat her fries. After eating we left the food court and went to the bathroom. There were just a few people in the bathroom and I eyed the changing table with embarrassment. I knew I was going to get changed. I pulled it down and looked at it. “I don’t think it will hold you,” she said. I looked down at the floor. It was disgusting. “I am not lying on the floor.” “It won’t come to that.” She took me by the hand into the handicapped stall and closed the door. She then pulled my pants down. Sure enough, there were too little wet circles at the inseams of the diaper where it had leaked a few drops. She twisted the fabric to examine the outside. It still looked dry, so it hadn’t soaked through the material. My diaper was swollen and yellowed beyond belief. She quickly undid the tapes and wadded up the diaper and used the tapes to tape it shut. She put it on the floor and got out some wipes. Then she cleaned me. Then the Desitin went on. I still felt clammy when she took out the clean diaper and put it behind me. Then she gently pushed me against the partition so the diaper was held behind me. She took the front of the diaper and pulled it between my legs and then taped it in place. It wasn’t as tight as the changes when lying down, but I had a ring around each leg from the diaper elastic anyway. It could be looser without a problem. Soon my pants were back up, my shirt was down and I was as good as new. “I got to pee too,” said Violet. She sat down on the toilet and went. I was so jealous. Why did she get to use the toilet? I was an adult too. After that, we grabbed our stuff and went back to her house. The outing was embarrassing, but Violet did not intentionally try to humiliate me. CHapter Five: No, I’m Not Doing This in Public The evening passed by uneventfully. During dinner, Violet sat me in the couch in front of the TV and she and Jeff ate without me. When dinner was finished, Jeff came out to watch TV and Violet led me by the hand into the kitchen. “Time for your dinner,” she said and sat me down at the table. I looked around the kitchen for the steaks I smelled earlier, but I couldn’t see them. I only saw the juices on the dirty plates they had eaten their medium rare steaks upon. Instead she went to the cupboard and brought out two small jars. “What’s that?” I asked. “What happened to all that delicious steak I smelled?” “The steaks were good, but you are now my baby. I have special food for you.” She set the jars down in front of me and I groaned when I saw they were baby food. “Mashed peas and mashed green beans?” I asked. “You expect me to eat that?” I wasn’t going to eat it no matter what she did. “I am an adult and need real food.” She continued to open the jar of peas and then took a spoonful of the nasty green paste and pushed to at my mouth. I wanted to gag just from the smell of it. I turned my head to avoid it, and Violet gave me her look again. It was that cross between disappointed and anger. I still was unmoved. She caught me by the chin. “The least you can do is play along. I gave you an adult meal at lunch and I did spend quite a bit of money buying you new clothes. You also told me that you would let me treat you like a baby.” I didn’t mean to live on baby food. I never even meant to let it progress beyond her bathing me and helping me in the bathroom. “But, I--,” I started to say. I was interrupted by a spoonful of the peas entering my mouth. Talk about bland. Baby food is really disgusting. I am used to food that has salt to bring the flavor out. Even so, I never could bring myself to eat peas. Even whole peas disgusted me. These were mashed peas. I swallowed. “You could have at least got fruit or something.” Another spoon full entered my mouth. I got smart and closed my mouth, but the next spoonful kept coming. “Come on and open the tunnel so the train can come in.” I shook my head, but the spoon came anyway and splattered on my face. “You are a messy baby,” she said and continued to feed me. By the time both jars of baby food were empty, I was a yucky mess. I felt horrible. She kept tricking me into talking and then fed me as soon as I opened my mouth. I didn’t feel full, but I was just glad it was over by the time she cleaned my face and set me back in the living room by the TV so she could do the dishes. I sat by Jeff as he watched a crime show. He looked at me a few minutes and then asked me a question. “Beth, are you wearing adult diapers?” I felt my face flush with embarrassment and reached toward the back of my shirt. It had ridden up, revealing the top of my diaper. “Don’t worry. I am sure you will be back to normal as soon as you get those casts off.” I had to tell him how she was treating me. He would put a stop to it no doubt. “Um Jeff,” I started. “Thank you for coming to live with us,” he said. “Oh, yes. Thank you for taking care of me,” I said. I couldn’t complain to Jeff now. He was being so nice to me. When the dishes were done, Violet took me upstairs to my bedroom. This time I peed my diaper so I wouldn’t leak in my crib. I had a slight cramp like I needed to poop, but I was not about to stand there and poop myself. She laid me on the floor and changed my wet diaper. I lay in bed in a dry diaper and cuddled with my adult sized pillow and blanket. ### The next morning I woke up and immediately peed my diaper. I still had to poop and it was a bit more urgent then it had been last night, but there was no way I was going to let poop out into my diaper and feel it smear against my skin. I was going to hold out for a toilet. I laid back in my wet diaper and waited for Violet to get me. She did after awhile. “We got a busy day ahead of us,” she said. I sat up in the crib. “Where are we going?” I asked. “We are going to a party.” She pulled down the gate to the crib and then reached for my diaper. She put a finger inside the leg. “Oh my, you are wet. We’ll get you a bath and into a clean diaper.” I gave a shrug and let her help me to the bathroom. As soon as I was in the bath, I would wait until she left the room and then I would have a quick poop. She undressed me and ran the bath for me. I got in and reveled in the warm water. I was very clean except for under the bread bags I wore on my arms. I hated broken bones. She still scrubbed me and I really didn’t mind since I couldn’t really clean myself. I wanted to reach a certain part of my body on my own. Since I was fifteen I masturbated in the shower and I not only couldn’t do that for myself, but I really didn’t want Violet to do that for me. I had just a one more week with the casts and then I could start physical therapy to regain movement. I really looked forward to moving my hands again and not just for masturbation. I could control myself. I just wanted to be able to touch things. I heard a little tune and Violet quickly dried her hands and answered her cell phone. She quickly left the bathroom. It was now my chance. I got up and went to the toilet and tried to lift the lid. It was stuck. I examined the lid and there was a little white plastic thing on the front that said LidLok. It was a baby cover for the toilet seat. I groaned and then studied it so I could figure out how to undo it. I couldn’t even get a hold on the thing with the slippery wet bread bags on my hand and the casts underneath. I sighed and got back in the tub and just in time too because soon afterward, Violet returned. She frowned when she saw the wet floor and gave me a stern look. “Sorry,” I said. “I splashed.” I was not about to admit that I tried to use the toilet. I knew that she would either cry and make me feel guilty or tell me I was ungrateful and make me feel guilty. I was going to hold it and use the downstairs bathroom or sneak into the master bedroom and use the toilet in there. I was sure that Jeff didn’t know about the LidLok, so I guess the upstairs hall bathroom was the only one that was so encumbered. She dried me off and had me lie down on the floor. I had a new diaper on me. It was a diaper that I knew would be full of poop if I didn’t get to the bathroom sometime that day. I could hold it, I knew. I thought the bathrooms were really gross in high school and even college, so I never pooped at school. I also hovered to pee, so although my bladder control was never good enough to put off peeing for more than an hour or two, I could hold it when I had to poop I had held it until I was in my home bathroom and then I would poop. I would do the same here even though I would not be able to get to a familiar bathroom. Violet diapered me and then led me back to my bedroom and opened the drawers. She pulled out a dark blue t-shirt and the light blue plaid overalls she bought the day before and dressed me. “Not the overalls, please,” I said. “You are my baby and I can dress you how I like,” she said. I groaned again. “I guess I have no choice then,” I said. At least it was less embarrassing then having to wear only underwear for two years. Peter did that just to control me. A woman couldn’t get too far when they were only wearing negligees. I could probably make it for quite a while in my current outfit without being exposed as someone playing baby. “I also don’t want to hear any complaints about what I feed you or that you have to go to the bathroom. I will check you periodically. Even if you feel you are about to leak. I will pack some extra clothes in your diaper bag.” I sighed. “Is that clear?” she asked. “Yes,” I said. I watched as she started to pack my diaper bag. She put in three diapers, another equally childish outfit, a towel to lay me on for a change and the ointments and powders she smeared on my butt when I was changed. She took me down to the living room and put the diaper bag down on the couch. “The place we are going is about half an hour away. I better use the restroom before we go,” she said. She left me and I stood there and glowered. She was gone about ten minutes and I knew she hadn’t just been peeing due to the time she was away. I wished I could sneak away to use the toilet, but I just stood there and waited. She returned and we rushed to the car. I got belted in and then she began to drive. ### We arrived at a house. There were quite a few cars lined up and down the block, so there must have been a special event. When we arrived at the door, a lady answered. “Oh, Violet, it is wonderful to see you.” Another lady smiled. “Where have you been? We missed you so much.” A third lady shushed the second one. “Oh it’s okay,” said Violet. She smiled. “I was having problems for a while, but I am fine now.” She motioned me to follow her into the house. “Who is your friend?” asked the first lady. “Oh this is my niece.” She looked at me. “Can you tell these ladies your name?” Her voice actually lifted as if she was talking to a three year old. I just turned and buried my face in her arm. “She’s not talking,” said Violet. “Her name is Beth and she is staying with Jeff and I. We are taking care of her after an accident. She fell from the balcony at her sorority house and banged her head up pretty bad.” “Ouch. That must have hurt,” said the second lady. “Beth, will you want tea or water?” asked the host. I released my grip from Violet, but I still was silent. “The doctor thinks she has brain damage,” said Violet. “I’m sorry to impose by bringing her, but I really have to watch her because she needs taken care of.” “Oh, I’m sorry,” said a third woman. She then led us to the living room. All the couches were taken. Violet sat in an easy chair and I sat on the floor in front of her. My stomach rumbled. I wanted to beg Violet for the bathroom, but I never got a chance. There were way too many ladies and they all would hear me talk if I asked for the bathroom. If I talked and then Violet mentioned my diapers, then they wouldn’t believe I was retarded enough to need them. They started talking about boring stuff like committees and fundraising and I was terribly bored. I looked up at the grandfather clock, but the hand never seemed to move. I finally looked at the pendulum. The clock just didn’t feel like it was stopped. It actually was. I could see why. The weights were all the way at the bottom of the clock. Growing up, my chore was to wind the clocks at my parent’s house, so I knew what I was doing. I crawled the few steps away to the clock and opened the door. When I almost had my hands around the chain to lift the weight, I felt a hand grab me from behind. “Don’t touch,” said Violet with a stern voice. I looked at her in protest, but she just pulled me back to my spot in front of her chair. “I’m sorry April. She gets into stuff all the time now. It’s almost as if she’s three. It’s really sad because she was a very bright college student.” “It’s okay,” said the lady who answered the door. “She’s probably bored with our conversation. Let’s all adjourn for coffee and cake,” she said. Everyone went into the kitchen. There were various mugs. Each one had a different saying and none of them matched. An older lady filled them with coffee from a coffee pot. I looked around and saw Violet get up and go down the hall. “Would you like some coffee, dear?” I smiled and she slid it across the table too me. I saw a box of sugar cubes on the table as well and grabbed one between my one finger and thumb on my left hand that I could still pick things up with. I dropped the cube into the coffee and then picked up the mug between my two cast-encased hands. I took a sip of the best coffee I had tasted since college. I really missed coffee. It was hot and yummy, although it was a bit bitter because the sugar cube hadn’t melted yet, but I was happy to have it anyway. The other ladies smiled at me. One of them looked at my stitches on the top of my head and winced. “Poor dear,” the lady beside me at the counter said, “that had to hurt.” I gave my same dumb smile and took another sip. Then Violet came out of the hallway and saw what I was doing. “Beth, why are you drinking that? You’ll burn yourself. Besides, you can’t pick up stuff too well until your casts come off.” She picked up my coffee cup and put it out of my reach. “Besides, you don’t want to spill on Mrs. Luther’s floor.” The woman I now learned was April Luther smiled. “Is there something else we can give her to drink?” The older lady who gave me the coffee said, “I’m sorry Violet. She seemed to enjoy the coffee and I didn’t think anything of it.” “It’s okay, Mabel,” Violet said to the older lady. “I have to keep her out of everything at home. She hasn’t been right since she hit her head.” She turned to April. “You can give her milk or water.” I ended up with a cup of milk. It was only half full. When we went back to the living room, Violet held it for me and just held it to my mouth when she thought I wanted a sip. After another half hour of committee talk and fundraising planning, my stomach started to cramp hard. I knew I had to go to the bathroom soon. I did not know what to do. My intestines were making it known that my body was not designed for the foods I put into it. I mentally kicked myself. It was the coffee that was doing it. I was great at holding my poop until the end of the day, but I had never held it after holding it all night. The ingestion of coffee just played merry havoc. As a college student, I had a coffee ritual. I would go to the on campus coffee shop and have one at about ten in the morning. Once, I got the urge to poop at nine and after having a ten o’clock coffee I had to poop so urgently by 10:30, that I had to leave class early and run to my dorm to use the bathroom. I barely made it and from then on out I never drank coffee if I had the urge to poop. Since I had been holding it all night and for most of the morning, I was cramping pretty hard. I bit my lip. They droned on and on and suddenly I felt something move. The poop was right at the edge of my butthole and I could feel it down there. My butt was sore and the mass was trying to get out. I didn’t know what to do. I knew that big hamburger I had yesterday wanted to come out. What I hadn’t counted on was the jalapenos I’d eaten. I cramped up again and knew I was going to poop any minute. I shifted to get to my knees so I could stand up and go to the toilet, but as soon as I got to that position I felt my sphincter give out and a hot mass of sludge deposited itself in my diaper. As it touched my butthole, it burned. I shifted uncomfortably to avoid the burning feeling when the poop mushed up in my diaper. There was also a big smell. All the ladies were looking at me. I wanted the floor to swallow me up. It was funny how that feeling was quite common the past four days. Violet looked at me and even she wrinkled her nose. “Beth, did you have an accident?” she asked me aloud. The other ladies stared at me hard. Violet stood up and pulled me too my feet. I wanted to die. “She doesn’t always make it to the bathroom,” she said. “I’ll need to change her.” She looked around and asked. “Beth, where is your diaper bag?” I thought about it and then remembered. She left it on the couch at her house and we forgot all about bringing it. I just stared at her because this was not the situation to blow my cover. “We need to go,” said Violet. “I forgot her diaper bag. She has been incontinent since the accident. I have to take her home to change her.” April smiled. “Well I think we covered most everything. Will I see you at next weeks’s meeting?” “Yes,” said Violet. April looked at me. “Don’t worry, Beth. You are still welcome back.” I smiled dumbly. I felt like the retarded kid who pooped her pants. I wanted out of there so I could get my butt clean. Jalapenos and a dirty diaper didn’t feel good together. I also wanted out of there so I could tell Violet off. We finally got to the car and Violet had me sit in the passenger seat. I got in and hovered above the seat. “Beth you have to sit down so I can get your seatbelt on you.” “But--,” I said. “I know that it is gross, but it is just poop. I’ll give you a bath and change you when we get home.” She pushed me down and I landed with a flop onto the mushy poop. It was bad before, but when I sat down it was a lot worse and poop squished clear up my butt crack and forward. I knew I would have a mess if it crept into my womanly places. I had to pee and I just left go if only to flush it out of there. Peeing didn’t help my butt either. It just spread the jalapeno taint further. Violet got in and started driving away. “I hope you are satisfied. I am humiliated,” I told her. “Don’t worry,” she said. “We’ll get you changed.” “I don’t care about being changed,” I said. “I just want this treatment to stop. I am not your baby and I am not going to act like a baby any longer. In fact I am telling my probation officer to take me to jail. At least there I can use a toilet.” “Do you really feel that way?” she asked in a whine. She looked close to tears. “Yes,” I said. She continued driving. She swerved a few times and then pulled over into a McDonald’s parking lot. She opened the door and left leaving me in the car in my stinking mess. She left her cell phone in the car. It was noon and I just felt gross. I was a bit hungry too. Still, I was glad that she didn’t take me in while in my condition. I felt terrible though. My bottom still burned and I knew I would have an awful rash. She spent over a half an hour in the restaurant before she came out. Her eyes were red and her shirt had splashes of water from where she’d been crying. I sighed. I wasn’t going to give in though. She drove home and I waddled behind her into the house. We entered the living room. Jeff was lying on the couch reading a novel. The diaper bag was sitting on the floor next to the couch. It was as if it was in his way so he just put it on the floor. “I thought you two would be at the ladies meeting,” he said. “Beth forgot her supplies so we had to leave early,” she said. “Beth, I am going to get your stuff ready,” she said. She hurried upstairs. I started to follow, but Jeff caught me by the arm. “Sit next to me,” he said. “I want to talk.” “Do I have to sit?” I asked. He sniffed and then realized I was messy. “No you don’t have to sit.” He sat and took me by my arms. “I just want to thank you for what you are doing. I thought it was strange that you were wearing diapers last night so I asked Violet what was going on. She told me that you agreed to let her take care of you like a baby. That was strange, but thing is, she is herself again. In the two months before we brought you home, Violet spent twenty-three hours a day in bed. She only ate when I forced her and she was basically a mess. Medicine didn’t help. She was depressed. Now you are here and she gets up on time and she even went to that meeting. She would have stayed home if you weren’t there with her. Thank you so much for giving me my wife back.” I stood in shock. Did embarrassing me make all the difference. No, she wasn’t getting off on making me feel like a fool. She genuinely wanted a baby to care for and I was the only one available. The fact that I was almost helpless made it all the more easy for her to want to baby me. “You’re welcome,” I said. I hoped it wasn’t too late to make amends to Violet. I hurried upstairs and into the bathroom. Violet was kneeling in front of the toilet trying to get the childproof LidLok off the toilet. “Leave it on there,” I said. “It is too late for me to use the toilet.” “But you’ll need the toilet eventually,” she said. “I’m your baby and I need you to give me a bath and put me in a clean diaper.” She turned to me. “I thought you said I humiliated you and you didn’t want to be my baby anymore.” I felt guilty, but I didn’t want to drive her back to her depression. I would wear diapers for the rest of my time with them if that is what it took. “One of the hard parts of being a mother is having children throw temper tantrums. It gets worse when they become teenagers if my childhood is an example. I was just having a temper tantrum. I’m sorry I made you cry.” “It’s okay,” she said. “Let’s get you out of that smelly diaper.” She unhooked my overalls and lowered them to the floor. She then opened my diaper and then unlocked the toilet lid. She balled up the diaper and put it in the trash and then started to clean my butt with toilet paper. “Wow, you really got a bad rash,” she said. “Yeah,” I said. “Dirty diapers and jalapenos don’t mix.” “Ah, that’s it. Normally babies don’t eat jalapenos. Your diet is slightly different than a real baby, so I promise I will change you as soon as you are dirty.” “Thanks.” She cleaned me enough for me to take a shower and I left her clean me. I still felt dirty after the shower, but I thought a lot of that was psychological and due to the smell of the diaper in the trash. I lay down on the floor and got ready for my diaper change. She didn’t have any diapers for me. She grabbed the pair of panties she had brought me off the vanity and left me lying on the towel. She then returned with a thick diaper. I got a generous coating of Desitin on my butt before getting my diaper put on. She then dressed me in shorts and a t-shirt and led me down stairs to the living room. I smiled at her. “I’m going to cook something really nice for dinner. Will you watch her while I do?” she said to Jeff. “Sure,” he said. He shrugged at me when she left. “I don’t really think I can change your diaper,” he said. “There are certain parts I shouldn’t see.” I looked at the clock. It was already two. “I am sure I can hold it until dinner.” “Good,” he said. “So how come you are home during the day?” I asked. “I don’t work Friday afternoons because I am on call during the week.” He opened his novel and started to read. I looked at the cover. It was a science fiction novel. I loved reading that kind of stuff. “What are you reading?” I asked. “Can I read it when you are done?” “Listen, I am trying to read. Do you want something to do?” “I am sort of bored,” I admitted. He took me by the hand into his den. That was a room that Violet had made off limits to me. Inside, book shelves lined every wall. “You can read anything you want. Any time.” I looked along the shelves and picked a book. We returned to the living room and the two of us sat on the couch and read until dinner time. Chapter Six: I Can’t Play With THese Toys I had really gotten into the book by dinner time, but after we ate, I was quite busy getting another bath (my third that day) and getting ready for bed. Before doing that, I just sat with Jeff watching TV until Violet came down and decided it was time for my bedtime. I was tired out anyway, so I put up with getting a new diaper on and going to bed. I closed my eyes and let sleep come. ### The next morning, I woke up and did my morning pee in my diaper. I did not have to poop fortunately, since I pooped so publicly the day before. I was glad I didn’t have to go now, but I knew it would happen again later. I promised myself that I would poop my diaper while at Violet’s house so I wouldn’t have messy accidents when out in public. “Good morning,” said Violet. “Good morning,” I said. I stretched and sat upright while Violet lowered the rail of my crib. “What do you have planned today?” “We’re just staying home,” she said. “My magazine asked if I was ready to write articles again, so I will be on the computer all day.” She helped me out of the crib. “We’ll get you a bath first and then I’ll let you play.” I smiled. I looked forward to getting back into that book that Jeff had let me read. They were in a spaceship and everything bad was happening and it didn’t look like they would survive. It was the first book in the series, so I didn’t think that they would all die. I still wanted to finish the book. I even had dreams about it. Violet helped me into the bath and washed me thoroughly. “Your rash is still pretty bad,” she said. “I wish we had your diaper bag with us when you had your accident. You should have told me we forgot it.” It did hurt quite a bit and I wasn’t too happy when I got home the day before, but now I was less happy. The scrubbing hurt. Before I yesterday, wetting the diaper felt warm and pleasant almost. Now it irritated my skin. “If I was a real baby, could have I told you we forgot the diaper bag?” “I guess not,” she said. “Or if I was really brain damaged from an accident?” “Nor if that was true. I am sorry we forgot it, but let’s worry about keeping your diaper dry. Crawl into my study if you have an accident and we’ll get you changed as soon as possible.” I splashed a bit in the water and sighed. I looked forward to getting the casts off my arms and regaining the ability to use my fingers. The casts came off in less than a week. “What will the doctor say if I show up in diapers?” I asked. I punctuated the remark with giggles. “He will probably ask too many questions. I will give you a break from diapers that day. Except for then, you are going to be my baby.” She reached down and tickled me, then finished scrubbing me. When I was clean, she helped me on the floor for a diaper change. She really smeared on the Desitin before she powdered me and closed my diaper. I got put in a t-shirt and then she led me to the living room. On the middle of the living room floor was a blanket covered with dolls and baby toys. She sat me in the middle of the blanket and turned toward the door next to Jeff’s den. “Remember,” she said. “If you are the least bit wet or messy, I want you to come get me for a change. Until then, play with the toys and be quiet.” “Sure,” I said. She closed her door and I immediately stood up and climbed on the couch. The book Jeff let me have was on the cushion where I had left it. I picked it up and began to read. Violet sat in her study. I mainly heard the clickety-clack of her keyboard, but occasionally she paused and swore or said it sounded stupid or something. I tried to ignore her and continued to read the book. The crew of the spaceship managed to win their battle, but the ship was damaged and the enemy had reinforcements coming. I was so engrossed in the book that I didn’t notice that Violet had left her office until I felt the book being snatched away. “Babies can’t read,” Violet yelled. She pulled me off the couch and sat me back down on the blanket. “Now sit here and play with these toys until I get dinner fixed.” She opened the cupboard at the bottom of the coffee table and put the book inside. “Violet, I am an adult,” I said. “I can wear diapers and use them, sleep in a crib, and let you bathe me, but I cannot sit here and play with these toys.” “You are having baby food for lunch today,” she said. “You will get the same for supper if I don’t see you playing with these toys when I get back.” “Fine,” I said. I picked up a doll and held it in my arms. As soon as she left, I dropped the doll and went for my book. I cursed when I couldn’t open the little cupboard because of my casts. I picked up the doll and held it a while. I wasn’t even sure what to do. I had two older brothers and never did get into dolls. My earliest toy experience that I could remember was pushing Tonka trucks around. There were no Tonka trucks here, just dolls, a rattle, and a few plush bears. There was also a plastic tea set. With no tea or boiling hot water, I couldn’t play with the tea set, so I just held the doll. I had to pee and without thinking, I let loose in my diaper. I didn’t drink that much that day, so it was pretty strong and I knew that the wet diaper would irritate my skin. However, I really didn’t want to get Violet and ask her for a change since she was so angry now. I thought I could manage, but ten minutes later, my skin started to itch. I hated the baby treatment. I stood up and walked over to the kitchen. I still had the doll, but I ignored it. Violet was cooking something in the microwave and getting two jars of baby food ready. I couldn’t see the labels, but one was a greenish paste, and the other looked yellowish. I suppressed the urge to gag. “Violet?” She turned to me. “I told you to play until lunch time,” she said. I held up the doll. “I was, but now I am wet and it is making my rash sore. I would really like it if you changed me.” “Okay,” she said. She took me by the hand to my bedroom and made me lie on the floor. She was quick doing her work, but she was gentle. She put a lot of Desitin on me before diapering me. “Does that feel better?” she asked. “Yes,” I said. “It’s lunch time now,” she said. “Let’s go eat.” We went down stairs and she sat me in front of the baby food and then got stuff out of the microwave. She had hot pockets and I just sat there as she ate them. She didn’t even offer me a bite. When she was finished, she sat in the chair beside mine and then spoon fed me the baby food. I had to suppress my gag reflex to get the stuff down. I don’t know how babies could stand to eat the stuff. When I was done, she washed my face. It needed it because she purposely missed while she fed me and I had baby food all over my face. After the meal, she took me back to the living room and sat me on the blanket. She then gave me a bottle. I drank the bottle. After I finished, I curled up on the blanket with the doll in my arms and took a nap. I didn’t wake up until much later in the afternoon when the door opened. I woke up and turned my head toward the front door. It was Jeff. “You look cute lying there like that,” he said. I sat up and smoothed my t-shirt so it covered my diaper. “Thanks.” “So how was the book?” he asked. I shrugged. “It was fine until I got about three quarters of the way through and Violet found out I was reading instead of playing with these toys.” I spread my arms out to indicate the toys on the blanket. “You got to talk to her.” He regarded me. “Are you really okay with acting like a baby?” I thought about it for awhile. Jeff was offering me a chance to stop this whole baby thing. However, there were Violet’s feelings to consider as well. “I really do need help getting baths and getting dressed, and I really don’t mind the diapers and even the baby food. I know Violet needs someone to take care of so she can heal and I don’t want to take that away from her. There is a limit to what I can endure and spending my probation playing with toys is not something one of them. I don’t even know how to play with these toys. I had all brothers and I played with trucks when I was little. I am seriously considering going back to jail. I can’t play with baby toys.” Jeff thought for a minute. “Okay,” he said. “I will talk to her and get your access to books back.” He left the room and went into the study. The tapping of keys stopped and instead I heard them talking. “She’s my baby. She can’t read,” said Violet. “Violet, you can’t treat her like this.” “She agreed to be my baby,” she said. “Ask her.” “I did,” he said, “but I am really not convinced that she agreed because that is how she wants to be treated. I think she lets you treat her like that because she feels guilty.” “So what?” she said. “I don’t care if she does it out of guilt or not. She is my baby. I already lost my real baby. I don’t want to lose her too.” “You can dress her up like a baby and treat her like one, but the woman is an adult. She has the mind of an adult and no matter how you dress her or treat her, she will always have the mind of an adult. You need to leave her a little bit of adulthood or she won’t let you treat her like your baby at all.” “What do you mean?” she asked. “She’s my baby.” “So far. She agreed to let you diaper her and bathe her. She even informed me that she is okay with you feeding her baby food. I am a bit disturbed about that, but if she is okay with it, I guess we can live with that. However, she was really upset about losing access to reading materials. I gave her permission to read the books in my study and then you took them away from her.” “I gave her toys to play with,” said Violet. “She’s an adult. Let her read,” he said. “She told me she would rather go to jail than play with those toys.” “So I lose my baby if I don’t let her read those awful books?” she said. Her voice seemed sad through the door. There was silence for a bit and then she said, “Okay.” The door opened and they came out of the study and sat together on the couch. “Beth,” said Violet, “I have decided to let you have that book back.” She opened the little cupboard in the coffee table and pulled out the book and handed it to me. I smiled and reached for it with both hands. My casts prevented me from holding it properly, but I pressed both hands together to keep my grip on it. “I caution you against reading it where company will see it or you will blow your cover. Also, I don’t want to any arguing with me.” “Deal,” I said. I never did get to read the rest of my book that night. Between supper time, bath time, and getting sent to bed, the rest of my evening was pretty busy. I did catch up on reading the next day though. Chapter Seven: Messy in Public Again The next day I spent the morning in the living room as Violet sat typing away in her study. I was almost through with the book and had gone into Jeff’s office to find another one when Violet called my name. “Beth, where are you?” I put the book I finished back in its place on the shelf and came out. “I’m just getting a book.” “Well, you can read later. Right now we got to go to town so I can talk to my editor.” She carried my overalls and some socks and shoes. I looked down. I was a bit damp and thought I could use a change. I also had to poop really bad and did not want a repeat of the last time I pooped. “Can you change my diaper before we leave?” I walked toward the couch and sat down. She set the overalls, socks, and shoes next to me. “Yeah, hold on and let me get you a clean diaper.” She left the room. While she was gone, I tried to poop myself. I felt a pressure and knew I would have to go pretty soon, but no matter what I did, I could manage to mess myself. I did manage to thoroughly flood myself before she came back. “Lie down,” she commanded me when she returned. I laid on my back and closed my eyes while she knelt in between my legs and slid a diaper under me. The old diaper came off and then I shivered as the cold clammy feeling of Desitin was rubbed against my skin. Soon I was packed into the new diaper and dressed in the overalls, shoes, and socks. I sat up as soon as we were done and we headed for the door. “Be sure to bring my diaper bag,” I said. I watched to make sure the bag came with us as well as Violets purse and brief case. I hoped this trip didn’t take long. I wanted to get back before I had a messy accident. The trip in the car was pretty much uneventful. Violet was lost in thought and I just stared out the car window. I wondered how long I could go on living like this. It had been less than a week, and I had yet to be beaten. A week was the longest that Peter had gone without beating me. I wondered when Jeff and Violet would start. The only thing I had really pushed was the issue with the book. The car finally pulled into the parking lot of an office building and we got out. “Now I got to talk to my editor in his office. Can I trust you to sit in the lobby and stay out of trouble?” I nodded. “I didn’t hear you,” said Violet. “Yes,” I said. We walked inside. The lobby was a pretty airy room with a seating area with leather chairs and a coffee table covered with magazines. There was a large desk on the other side where a receptionist sat. Violet pointed to one of the chairs. “Sit down here.” She walked to the desk. “I’m here to see Jay Fourier,” she said to the receptionist. “He’s expecting you,” said the receptionist. “You can go right in.” Violet left me alone, so I picked up one of the magazines and paged through it. It was a science magazine. I read through several articles including one about satellites. I got halfway through the magazine when I realized that I couldn’t hold it much longer. I had to poop and bad. I decided that I couldn’t poop in the lobby of the building, so I stood up and walked to the receptionist’s desk. “Where are the rest rooms?” I asked. “Down the hall and to the left.” She pointed the way. I followed her directions and found a door that say Ladies. I hurried inside and went into a stall. I then reached up to undo the straps of my overalls and frowned. I couldn’t get them undone. The casts on my hands really wouldn’t let me get enough dexterity to undo them. They weren’t metal loops like most overalls. They were little plastic things that clicked into place. To undo them, I would need to squeeze the plastic pieces together and slip them apart. I couldn’t do it. I thought about asking the receptionist, but that would be embarrassing. I had to pee and poop really bad and I was afraid it would come out on its own. Pooping would be really noticeable, but I could get away with peeing. I relaxed my bladder and clinched my butt and wet myself. That relieved some of the pressure, but I still had to poop pretty urgently. I then washed my hands and hurried back to the lobby and retook my seat. I picked up another magazine and looked through it before Violet returned. I looked up and saw her smile at me. “I see you were behaving.” I stood up and we walked out of the building together. “What is next?” I asked. My urge to poop made it hard to walk, but I finally made it back to the car. “I thought we would eat out,” Violet said. “Can’t we eat at the house?” I asked. “Why do you not want to eat out?” she asked. I was silent for a minute and I think I blushed. “I have to poop really bad and I want a bath after I mess my diaper.” “If we eat at home, we need to stop at the grocery store. Besides Applebees is having lunch specials. Just use your diaper and I will change you in the bathroom.” I was trying my best to hold it as Violet drove toward the restaurant. I knew I couldn’t hold for too long. Even if I made it into the restaurant, I could’t hold it until we finished eating and Violet would want to change me in the nearest bathroom anyway. “Please don’t make me poop in public again,” I begged. “Use your diaper,” Violet said. “If you do, we can stop at the mall and use the family bathrooms where there is more privacy. After I change you, we can stop at Barnes and Noble and I will buy you a present.” She looked hard at me as we headed toward the direction of Applebees and the mall. I sighed and leaned over against the passenger door, so my butt was partially off the seat. I didn’t even have to push that hard when I let go and emptied my bowels into my diaper. I straightened up and felt the mess smear against my bottom as I basically sat on it. It wasn’t as bad as last time. Sure it smelled bad and I felt it smoosh against my skin, but it didn’t burn. Then again, my diet had been baby food instead of jalapeno-laced hamburgers, so I guess that is what made the difference. It felt really warm. I would not say it felt nice, but it wasn’t as bad as I expected. I still wanted changed immediately. Violet smiled at me when she smelled what I did. We then pulled into the parking lot of the mall and she got me out of the car and handed me my diaper bag. We walked into the mall in silence. She held my hand and I just looked at me feet as we journeyed through the mall. I could feel every eye staring at me. I was waddling with a just-pooped-my-pants waddle. I hoped this was worth the promised book at the book store. When we arrived in the family restroom, Violet took me by the hand and led me to one of the single user restrooms. Inside was both a large and small toilet and a changing table. There was also a sink. “Everyone was staring at me,” I hissed. “You were looking at your shoes,” Violet said. “No one really looked our direction. She motioned me up onto the changing table. It was really too small for me, but it was embedded in the counter. It wasn’t a fold-down one that would break if I lay on it. She made quick work of cleaning me. Still, she used lots of toilet paper and several baby wipes before she was able to change me. I knew I was cleaner, but I still wanted a bath. I did get the new diaper on and we made it out of there quickly. I was worried about the poopy adult diaper in the trash, but Violet threw a few wet paper towels on top of it. No one would probably dig through the trash and everyone would probably assume it was a baby diaper in there. We left and as promised, Violet took me to the book store. I quickly found a book about a girl in a spaceship that went on a fifty year journey that was time-diluted to be approximately eight years, but then found out that faster than light travel had been invented after she left. I looked forward to finding out what happened to her, but I had to wait until we finished eating. ### It didn’t really take that long to eat. Violet did have to help me a little since my hands were still in casts. I did have one rather embarrassing moment though. A man my age at the next table over was staring at me. He wore a fedora, so I thought his staring was even more creepy. Did he notice my fat, diapered ass as I sat down? I hoped not. He was staring at my face, I thought. “The man in the booth at your five o’clock is staring at me,” I whispered. “You’re sitting down,” she said. “He can’t see your diaper.” I thought that was true, but it was still uncomfortable. He stood up and I thought he and the girl he was sitting with were going to leave, but he came up to our table and stopped by. “Pardon me,” he said. “I noticed the stitches on your head and wondered if you had surgery lately.” He took off his hat and revealed he had similar scars. I just stared dumbly, then played it up a bit by drooling. He didn’t seem to mind. “I had a brain tumor removed recently. I lead a support group for survivors of brain cancer. Are you interested?” I had to give some excuse. However, I didn’t really want to deal with him. I gave Violet a pleading look. “I’m sorry,” said Violet. “My niece was in an accident and really can’t function by herself anymore. She suffered from brain damage.” “I’m sorry,” said the guy. He left. After that incident, we left. I started reading my book in the car and then laughed a bit. “What’s so funny?”asked Violet. “I was thinking back to when I lived at home. I was a late bloomer and didn’t get potty trained until I was four. My mother had to resort to rewarding me with toys when I used the potty. It seems like you are doing the opposite: rewarding me when I used my diaper.” Violet smiled. “We aren’t really going to make a habit of rewarding you every time you mess yourself. I only got you to do it this time because last time was such an awful experience.” “Oh,” I said, a bit disappointed. “Well, it wasn’t as bad as last time. I still don’t like it.” “Well, maybe next time you will be at home when you mess yourself.” Oh great, I though, there is going to be a next time. Chapter Eight: The Babysitter Over the next few days Violet got more work done for her magazines. A few times we even went on road trips for a certain bit of research she had to do. One day, Violet got me up and dressed again. She dressed me in pink pants and a black baby doll t-shirt. The design was a variation of three wolf moon design, the classic t-shirt with a moon and three wolves on it. I always thought shirts like that were cheesy. Peter wore one. However, this one had three images of a young man with no shirt. “What’s with this guy on this t-shirt?” I asked. “Usually it is a wolf on t-shirts like this, not a Chippendale’s dancer.” “Jacob is a werewolf,” said Violet. “Besides, we are going to April Luther’s house for a committee meeting and Mabel’s niece will be there. She’s seventeen and loves Twilight, so she will like your shirt.” “I am wearing this shirt to impress a high school girl?” I asked. “Yes, you are,” said Violet. She almost pulled me down the stairs and outside toward the car. “Great.” ### After the car trip, I really had to pee. I wasn’t wet when I woke up. I had wet before Violet changed me for bed and I didn’t wake up until Violet woke me. We got to April Luther’s house and I almost had to stop and cross my legs three times before we made it up the sidewalk to the door. Carrying my bulky diaper bag wasn’t helping. Violet rang the doorbell and April Luther answered. “Oh hi, Violet,” she said. “Everyone else is already here.” She smiled at me. “And Beth, you are always welcome. I see you brought your supplies.” I tried not to blush, but only lost my concentration on my bladder. I was wetting full force into my diaper. I looked like a fool with my obvious diaper bulge that was growing larger and carrying an actual diaper bag that held my replacements. Violet pulled me by the arm into the house. We went into the living room into the crowd of women getting ready for their meeting. “I made it again,” said Violet. She took a seat on the couch and smiled. I sat on the floor in front of her and looked down. No one said anything about my wet diaper, so I thought no one noticed that I’d wet myself again. I hoped that would remain the case all though I doubted it. While the women were discussing committees and meeting minutes, I looked around for Mabel’s seventeen-year-old niece. However, I saw her nowhere. Instead, I sat there bored. It didn’t help that the clock still hadn’t been wound. It sure does feel like time stands still when the hands on a clock are not actually moving. After about an hour April finally finished her talk. “With that, we will adjourn to the kitchen for refreshments.” The ladies started to mill into the kitchen. I got up to follow them, but Violet tapped me on the shoulder. “Beth, do you need a change?” Some of the ladies looked at me and I looked at my shoes again. She had said it loud enough for everyone to hear. To make matters worse, she put her hand in my pants to check. “April, is there a place where I can change her real quick?” “You can change her in the bedroom.” I waddled a bit as I followed Violet into the bedroom. I knew everyone knew the reason and it really embarrassed me, but what else could I do. At least Mrs. Luther and the other ladies didn’t make fun of me. I laid down on the bed and let Violet pull my pants off. “You pretty much announced to everyone that I was wearing diapers.” “Beth, they already knew.” She pulled out a diaper and set it beneath me and started to untape my wet diaper. “You made it obvious last time when you messed yourself.” She then begin to clean me with wipes. Suddenly, the door opened. A teenager stood in the threshold and just started to stare at me. I wanted to die. After an uncomfortable moment, the girl spoke. “I’m Mabel’s niece. I just wondered if you needed help.” Violet smiled. “Not now,” she said. “We’ll be done in a bit.” My face burned and I had to have turned pretty red because when the door shut again, Violet frowned at me. “If you really did have brain damage, you wouldn’t be blushing so hard.” She closed the clean diaper on me and started to tape it up. “Well I guess so, but I am still embarrassed by the diapers,” I said. “I suppose so,” she said. “Well, it’s time for treats,” she said. I stood up and let her tug my pants up and button them. We went out to the kitchen again and followed Violet to the table. There were plates of cookies, and some pie. There was also coffee. I really missed coffee a lot, so I reached for a cup and started to pick it up. “I think we’ll just have milk today, Beth.” She took the cup from my hand and replaced it with a cookie. Mrs. Luther quickly brought me a plastic cup filled with milk. “There you go, sweetie.” I took the proffered mug, at that point just happy it was not a sippie cup. Violet directed me to a chair at another table toward the back door. In the chair next to me was the teen girl that invaded my diaper change. “You must be Beth,” she said. “I’m Lillie.” I ignored her and started to eat my cookie. “Don’t mind her rudeness,” said Violet. “She has a head injury and is still non-verbal.” “I thought so. Aunt Mabel told me that she acts like a toddler and I saw she needs diapers. She must be bored to death of these meetings Aunt Mabel has.” “It is pretty hard for her to sit still.” “I’ll watch her for you during the rest of the meeting.” She smiled. “We’ll be right in the other room and I’ll get you if it is anything I can’t handle.” I turned to Violet and stared daggers at her, but she ignored me. “I suppose it will be okay,” she said. “Great,” said Lillie. I wanted to scream but instead I just crammed the rest of the cookie into my mouth. After I swallowed, I quickly downed my milk. I was not happy about being put in a room with a highschooler who knew I was diapered. However, I couldn’t even protest, or I’d blow my cover. ### After refreshments, Lillie wasted no time in taking me to the other room. The other room was the bedroom I had my diaper change in. My diaper bag still lay on the bed and it was open. Lillie noticed it right away. She climbed on the bed and went through the diaper bag. She pulled out diapers, Desitin, and, and bottles of powder. She even pulled out my novel I was reading. I was angry now. I reached for the book and tried to grab it from her hand. “Hey careful there,” she said. She pulled the book out of my reach.” My only resort was to do my fake cry. I felt stupid, but it worked. In no time her demeanor changed. “It’s okay,” she said. “You like books? How about I read you a story.” I stopped crying. She shoved my stuff back in the diaper bag and put it on the floor. She then pulled me up beside her on the bed and then grabbed a back pack from the night stand and went through it until she found a book. “I know you like Twilight from your shirt. Maybe we can jog your memory a bit if I read it to you again.” She smiled. “I have to warn you. I am a Team Edward girl and you know he ends up with Bella instead of Jacob.” I stared blankly at her. I did not have to fake that blank stare. I had no idea what she was talking about. She didn’t seem to mind and instead started to read to me. ### Violet came in and smiled at me. “So do you need a change?” “I checked her earlier and she wasn’t really that wet,” said Lillie. I still had resented that invasion, but it wasn’t as bad as a full diaper change. “Oh, good,” she said. She picked up my diaper bag and I followed her to the car. “Goodbye Beth,” said Mrs. Fletcher. “Come back again.” I smiled at her. I so wanted to have the humiliation end. “We’ll be back next time,” said Violet. She buckled me in the passenger seat and went around to drive. We pulled out of the neighborhood while I sat in silence. “How do you like Lillie? I understand she read you a story.” I opened my mouth to speak. There was a lot I wanted to complain about today. First, I was humiliated, a high school girl babysat me, violated my diaper bag, and put her hand in my pants, but I could only complain about the most egregious item. “Vampires do not sparkle.” Chapter Nine: the Doctor and the Night Out The next morning was busy and I hated it. I woke up in the crib like I always had since living with Violet and I sighed. I had to pee a bit more urgently than usual, so I just wet my diaper while staring aimlessly at the mobile. I couldn’t really do anything else except get more and more uncomfortable from holding it. My arms were still in casts and Violet had somehow found an adult sleeper that zipped in the back. I wasn’t even sure I could have unzipped it with two healthy hands. Ironically, as soon as I wet my diaper and got comfortable, Violet came to get me. “How did mama’s baby sleep?” she asked. I rolled my eyes. “Wah, Wah, I am wet,” I said. The crying was as monotone as I could make it. “Well let’s get you a bath before your rash comes back. We don’t want to explain that to the doctor, do we?” I certainly did not. I was getting tired of the diapers, but I let Violet help me out of the crib and I followed her to the bathroom for bath time. As she bathed me, she was more thorough than usual. She also wasted no time in helping me clean up. Usually she made a big show of making me play with bath toys. She also hummed happily to herself. “You’re happy,” I remarked. She helped me out of the tub and started to dry me. “It is Jeff and my anniversary. He is taking me out to a fancy restaurant tonight.” “Good for you,” I said. “You’ve only been taking care of me in the evenings. It will be good for you to get together and have a good time.” Inwardly I was happy I would get a bit of alone time. “Yeah,” she said. “You sure you will be okay without me to take care of you?” She picked up my pile of clothes and started to dress me. She put the shirt on me and I raised my arms as she dressed me. However, the pile wasn’t as thick as I thought is should be. It wasn’t until she grabbed a pair of panties from a three-pack that I realized there was no diaper. “Panties?” I asked. “The doctor will notice if you wear a diaper. Want to explain the diapers?” She held them for me and I stepped into them and then she pulled them up to my waist. “Oh yeah, I get the casts off. Finally I can move on my own again.” “But, I will still be helping you.” As if to prove a point, she held out some light blue pants for me to step into. She got them on me and then we were about to leave. We had just gotten into the car when Violet’s phone rang. She answered it. “Hi, Mabel.” I tried to listen to the conversation, but only heard half. “Oh yes...No. That won’t work out. Jeff and I are going to dinner tonight for our anniversary...No, Beth isn’t coming. She will stay at home...Jeff and I really want to be alone...Yes, I would really appreciate that...Thanks, I’ll see Lillie tonight.” “What was that about?” I asked. I was concerned when I heard Lillie’s name mentioned. “I don’t really want to upset you, but Lillie is coming to babysit when Jeff and I are going out tonight.” “Absolutely not,” I said. “There is no way I am putting up with being treated like a baby by anyone, but you.” “Well, our friends know that Jeff and I are going out and they think we were irresponsible if we left a brain damaged college student alone when she has the mind of a toddler.” “Couldn’t you get someone else?” I begged. “Anyone else?” “Sorry, but Lillie is offering to do this. She really wants to be a nurse when she grows up and Mabel things taking care of you would be good for her. Besides, she needs something to focus on besides vampires.” “Fine,” I said. We arrived at the doctor’s office soon after our argument and we got out. I walked in happily knowing that I was soon going to get my casts cut off and I was also not wearing a diaper. Violet guided me to a seat in the waiting room and went up to announce our presence. “It will be about ten minutes,” the nurse at the counter said. I sighed. Well, I had waited six weeks to get my casts off, I could wait ten more minutes. Violet sat beside me and picked up a magazine. I opened my book and started to read. Before too long a nurse came out. “Elizabeth Browning, the Dr. Mitchell will see you.” I fumbled to put the book mark in my book and handed it to Violet. I then followed the nurse back to an examination room. She smiled at me. “I bet you will be glad to get those casts off.” “I will,” I said. “I can’t even dress myself with these casts. Violet’s been a big help.” I couldn’t even use the bathroom by myself. I didn’t think the diapers were the way to go, but I just wore those for Violet’s benefit. After this, the only purpose for the diapers would be to give Violet someone to baby. “Well, I will leave you here until the doctor comes.” She left. I looked around the room at all the medical gear. There were models of an ear and a nose. My face warmed up when I saw a poster that talked about the treatment of incontinence. There was even a skeleton in the corner. On the counter there was a small circular saw. Also there was some strong-looking scissors and what looked like a lobster cracker. I shivered. The doctor might cut my arm off. With Violet’s help, I could wear the casts forever. It wouldn’t be so bad. Violet would keep me in diapers anyway. However, before I could panic any further and make my escape, the doctor entered. “Hi, I’m Dr. Mitchell. I understand you want your casts off.” I slowly nodded. He looked at my arms and frowned. “No one signed your casts?” he asked. I remembered back when I was a child that whenever anyone got a cast, they carried a marker so they could get the cast signed. I had always wanted to do that, but I when I actually got a cast the first time, I had no friends and even if I did find some people to sign it, it would only make Peter jealous. This time, however, I could have gotten it signed without Peter’s influence, but I never thought of that. Besides, I was playing the part of a brain damaged girl, so I couldn’t really ask for signatures. “I don’t really have a lot of friends. Jeff and Violet are the closest I have to friends.” He frowned. “Well, let’s get started.” He picked up the big saw and turned it on. The saw was loud. I extended my left arm and hid my face and closed my eyes. “Relax,” he said. “I haven’t cut anyone yet. Besides, the blade just vibrates. It doesn’t spin so it won’t cut skin.” He touched the blade against his arm. “See?” I felt both relief and embarrassment, but I wasn’t as squeamish as he started to saw the cast off my arm. He cut one cut down the length of each side of the cast. After he did the first two cuts, he took my other arm and made the same two cuts on that cast. Then he turned off the saw. “There,” he said. “You didn’t feel a nick, did you?” “No,” I said. He took the lobster cracker and used it to pry each cast apart. Underneath the cast was a gauzy wrap and he cut through those with the scissors. The casts were pulled away and I was free. I looked down at my arms. The skin on my hands and forearms was all dry and wrinkled and they stank. I wrinkled my nose. “Six weeks without washing probably took its toll,” he said. “I’ll let you wash your arms in the sink there before you go.” He took my arms one at a time and tested each joint for its full range of motion. He got to my left hand and tried to move my ring and pinkie fingers and I winced in pain. I looked at that hand and it still was swollen a bit. It was slightly off and I couldn’t move them as far. “Those fingers are a bit stiff. I’ll schedule you for some more X-rays in a few weeks if they don’t get better.” It was better than expected. The doctors had told me my hands might be permanently damaged from Peter’s stomping on them, but that they would do the best they could. At least the problem was on my left hand. I stood up and went to the sink and washed my hands as the doctor read through my chart and made more entries. As I washed, a lot of dead skin peeled off. At least I was clean. My arms didn’t look as dirty or disgusting any more. I turned around to smile at the doctor, but he motioned me back to the examination table. “According to your chart, there is a problem,” he said. “Oh?” I was starting to get worried. “They didn’t use dissolvable sutures when they fixed your head wound.” “Is that bad?” I asked. “Not really,” he said. “They just should have removed the stitches later. I can do it for you.” “What if we just leave them in?” I asked. “Then they might get infected. Now just lie back on the table and I will take care of them.” I lay back on the table and closed my eyes. Of course the doctor was gentle. He gently removed my head band and then started parted my short hair to get to each stitch. I cringed as he took sharp scissors and snipped each stitch and each time he took his tweeters to pull the stitch out, I thought he was going to drill into my head, but at last he spoke to me again. “They’re out,” he said. “Was that so bad?” “No, but I never want to go through that again,” I said. “Well, let’s do something to make sure you aren’t injured again,” he said. “Dr. May wrote that he suspected you were being abused and that you had a pattern of ‘falling down the stairs’. I don’t like what I see here. Do you want to talk about what is going on?” “No,” I said. “What’s going on at home?” he asked. “You are living with that Violet woman out in the waiting room, right?” I hoped he didn’t think that diapers were abuse. How would he even know? “Nothing’s going on at home. I like staying with Jeff and Violet because I don’t get hit anymore.” “Who hit you?” the doctor asked. “My boyfriend Peter, but I am away from him now.” I started to cry when I thought about what I had gone through. Through sobs I told him how I came to live with Violet. I left out the part about being her baby and wearing diapers. “Okay,” he said. “I was just concerned that the abuse hadn’t been addressed. I am glad you are moving past that,” he said. “Thanks,” I said. “Maybe if someone had this conversation earlier, I would not have been in this situation.” He ran his hand through my short hair. “Well, let’s get you back to Violet, so you can go home.” I stood up. “However, you are more vulnerable to attracting men who will treat you just like Peter treated you. Just be careful if you decide to date again.” “I will,” I said. I thought about my role as Violet’s diapered baby when with her and Jeff and being a brain-damaged incontinent girl to everyone else. “I don’t think I will be dating for awhile.” I left and found Violet in the waiting room. She paid the nurse and we were out the door. I opened the door by myself and got into the car. She drove off and she smiled. I was much better off with Jeff and Violet than I was with Peter. “Violet,” I said. “What is it?” she asked. “Thank you for letting me come to live with you.” “I’m glad to have you as my baby,” Violet said. “So where do you want to eat?” I thought about it a bit. “Fast food is good enough,” I said. “How about McDonalds?” She pulled in the parking lot and we both got out and got in line. “You can order anything you want. You’ll just have to eat whatever Lillie decides to feed you, so at least you get to choose at lunch.” I looked at the menu and there were so many things I hadn’t eaten in so long. I know McDonalds isn’t really exciting, but I was excited. Wearing only underwear and never leaving the house by myself made me crave going out. “I’ll have a Big Mac meal,” I said. “What do you want to drink?” she asked. “Dr. Pepper, of course,” I said. She ordered and we got our food and sat at our table. She put my burger in front of me and started on her own. I took my sandwich and took a bite out of it. It tasted divine. I was also glad I could use my own two hands for eating. My left hand bugged me a bit since my ring and pinkie fingers couldn’t contribute to holding the sandwich, but it was better than having two casts on my arms that kept me from holding something larger than a French fry. “So will you be good for Lillie?” Violet asked me. “I’ll behave,” I said. I took another bite of my sandwich and then dipped my French fry into some ketchup and took a bite of that. I then enjoyed my Dr. Pepper. Violet kept talking about how she and Jeff were going to celebrate their anniversary and I kept sipping on my supersized Dr. Pepper. Soon I had the urge to pee. I relaxed and started peeing, but then I felt really wet. I looked down and saw a pool of pee forming in between my legs in the chair. It was also running behind me toward the back of the booth. I tried to clamp down and stop, but I can’t stop once I get going. I had forgotten that I wasn’t wearing diapers. “Oh shit,” I whispered. “What’s wrong?” “Don’t get mad at me,” I said, “but I just wet myself.” She looked under the table at me as the obvious wet spot in my light blue pants and the puddle of pee started to drip off the front of the seat. “Beth, what happened?” “I forgot I wasn’t diapered. I got used to just going whenever I had to go.” “Well, let’s just finish our meals and then I’ll change you in the bathroom.” I sighed. “I guess adult time is over.” I sat in discomfort for a bit and then Violet went out to the car and got my diaper bag. I felt like all eyes were on me as Violet took me by the hand to the ladies room. I heard at least one small voice say, “That lady peed her pants,” before I made it to the sanctity of the bathroom. Once in the stall Violet got to work right away. She pulled down my pants and the panties that I had just got to wear once and I stepped out of my shoes as she helped me. Then she put a clean diaper on me. However, for pants, all she had was a pair of bright orange soccer shorts. I stepped into them and watched embarrassed as Violet rolled up my panties into my pants and then stuffed the whole bundle into a plastic bag before tucking it in my diaper bag. I truly felt like a toddler being put back into diapers after an accident. That was exactly what I was. We went out into the restaurant and Violet flagged down a McDonalds employee. “My niece had a bit of an accident in her seat. There is a bit of a puddle. I’m so sorry about that. She has medical issues.” He looked at me and I know he was really cute. However, I had to go back to being brain damaged again. I still gave him an embarrassed smile before we left. We got out to the car and Violet was smiling again. “That was unexpected.” “It was unexpected to me as well. What’s going to happen when you get tired of diapering me? I might get stuck in diapers.” “Didn’t you say you just forgot you didn’t have on a diaper on? I did that a couple times after I stopped wearing diapers from my pregnancy.” She suddenly looked sad, but she continued. “Of course I was in bed at the time, so cleaning up that mess wasn’t fun for Jeff. He’s a really good husband.” “Well, I feel a bit better. Still embarrassed, but better.” “Well let’s get you home. I bet you want to finish your book before Lillie comes.” “Oh good idea,” I said. I read my book until we got back. As we pulled in the driveway Violet looked at me. “Beth, do you want me to give you your bath now, or should I tell Lillie to bathe you tonight?” I frowned. The idea of being naked in a tub while Lillie was scrubbing me was not the least bit appealing. Before meeting Violet, I really didn’t take a bath both morning and night. I usually showered right before I started making Peter’s dinner. I would usually take a shower in the morning as well, but sometimes I took a bath if I knew I could get my chores done before he got home. Then again, I usually didn’t pee myself. My change in the McDonalds bathroom left me smelling of pee. “You can bathe me now, Violet,” I said as we walked into the house. We went in the bathroom and she started running the water. She then stripped me down to my diaper. I stood there and looked at myself in the mirror. I sure had fallen. I was first a promising college student, then I wore only lingerie for two years while being brutalized. Now, when I was supposed to graduate, I was just a big toddler. “Do you need to go potty before I take your diaper off?” she asked. I kind of had to poop and I even thought about going in my diaper before bath time. The timing was actually perfect for once. However, I didn’t really want to poop in the diaper. Maybe I would have if it wasn’t Violet’s anniversary. I wondered if I hadn’t had an accident, if Violet would have let me poop in the toilet for once, but that was water under the bridge, or rather a puddle of something in the seat at McDonalds. “No, I’m fine,” I said. She slid my diaper off and I sat in the water. This time, I couldn’t get away without playing with the toys. “You don’t have the excuse of the casts to avoid playing with the toys.” Reluctantly, I steered the little boats around the tub through the soapy water. After I played a while, she smiled at me. “Time to get you clean.” She soaped up the washcloth and began scrubbing me. My arms, legs, and even my privates were soaped. She then poured water from a Tupperware pitcher unto my head before shampooing my hair. Once clean she got me out of the tub and started to dry me off. She lay me down on the floor and I closed my eyes and readied myself for the diaper change. She put the diaper under me and was going to close it up, but I stopped her. “Suppose Lillie doesn’t do a good job of changing me. I don’t want to get a rash.” “It will be fine. She’s babysat before.” “Well use Desitin just in case,” I begged. “Okay, I suppose it won’t hurt,” she said. She smeared the cold slimy stuff on my diaper area and I did my best not to squirm because it was my idea. When she was done, she diapered me. She then dressed me in my plaid overalls and a pink t-shirt. “All good?” she asked. I nodded and then followed her to the living room where I sat with my book. I started reading. “You know you need to put the book away before Lillie gets here,” she said. “I will,” I said. “I’m getting packed,” she said. “Be good. Jeff should be home in about a half an hour and then Lillie will be here at two.” “Packed?” I asked panicked. “How long will you be gone?” “Just the weekend,” she said. She turned and headed up the stairs. I frowned. I had to spend a whole weekend with Lillie. My stomach gave a little rumble and I regretted not messing my diaper before bath time. I had to poop and I would not be able to wait until Violet and Jeff returned from their anniversary. I could hold out until at least this evening. I smiled at the thought of my little present that Lillie would have to deal with tonight. Chapter Ten: The Babysitter’s Boyfriend I finally made it to the last three pages of the novel I was reading when the doorbell rang. Violet took the book from me and put a book mark in it and went to door. She wore a dress and pearls and she looked excited. “Beth, Lillie is here.” She opened the door, and Lillie walked in. The girl was dressed in all black and wore glitter make up. She smiled. “Hello, Mrs. Violet. I’m ready to babysit Beth. She put her duffle bag on the coffee table and then sat right beside me. “How are you doing, Beth? We are going to have so much fun this weekend.” She then actually pinched my cheek. I wanted to scream at her, or at least tell her off, but again I couldn’t or it would blow my cover. Violet did calm her down a bit. “Well don’t get Beth too worked up. She just got her stitches out and the doctor said to be careful not to reinjure her.” Jeff came down the stairs and smiled at me. He took my hands in his. “Now, Beth, please be good for your babysitter. Violet and I will be back in a few days.” He gave me a hug and whispered in my ear. “Sorry about the babysitter. We can’t really explain it if you break your cover.” I frowned, and sat back down on the couch. However Violet leaned over to Lillie. “Let me show you Beth’s room.” She got up and I followed them up the stairs. We walked down the hall and Violet opened the door. She didn’t open the door to my nursery, but to the guest room next to it. Inside was a full bed, a desk and a dresser. A couple bags of diapers peaked out from under the bed. It would be a nice room to live in and where I would have been living if I wasn’t always playing baby. “When you change her, you can just lay her on the floor. The baby monitor is right by her bed so you can listen in case she needs something.” “I sure can do that,” said Lillie. “Where should I sleep?” “I guess you can sleep in our room,” said Violet and led her to the master bedroom. I went back down the stairs and sat on the couch. When I saw my book I just wanted to finish the last three pages, but I couldn’t risk Lillie seeing me. Instead I grabbed the tea set and set the coffee table as if I were going to have a tea party. They still didn’t come down, but I saw Lillie’s bag and I opened it up. I groaned. On the top of the bag were three Twilight DVDs. “How did that book ever get made into movies?” I asked myself. I dug deeper into the bag. There were clothes, of course, but I also felt something rounded and plastic. I was about to pull it out, but I heard footsteps going down the stairs and I quickly closed the bag and started sipping imaginary tea out of one of the tea cups. “So if there is anything you need,” said Violet, “you have our cell phone numbers. Please call rather than let anything happen to Beth.” “Don’t worry about anything,” said Lillie. “I can handle her and I will keep her dry and clean.” I blushed at the reference to my diapers. Violet put her hand on my shoulder. “Can you say ‘bye, bye?’” I grabbed onto her arm, but she dislodged me and I glanced at Lillie with apprehension. She waved and the followed Jeff out the door. Lillie held my hand until the car started and then she watched them pull out of the drive way. “I got the house to myself now. You had better be good,” she warned me. She pulled out her phone and then dialed a number. “I got the house to myself. I am ready for you Brian.” She then hung up. She then unzipped my pants and stuck her hand inside my diaper. “Oh good, Beth. You are still dry. You got to promise me to try to stay dry when my boyfriend Brian gets here.” I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to call Violet. I did know her number and there was a prepaid phone in Jeff’s desk drawer in the study. However, I didn’t want to blow my cover. I did not really care what kinds of decisions Lillie made, but not if it would inconvenience me. If she was going to slut around with her boyfriend, I wanted nothing to do with it. However, I would just have to play along. I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to the floor next to me by the coffee table and I handed her a tea cup. “Oh, are you having a tea party, Beth?” She smiled and took a sip of the imaginary tea. Then she poured me some. It was still drinking air, but at least she was focused on her babysitting instead of the boyfriend. I wondered if I could teach her a lesson. An hour later, I had to pee, so I wet myself. I was almost afraid I was getting too used to the diapers, but that choice was taken from me. I should have peed little by little, but I let it out in a flood and my diaper was soaked. It wasn’t to the leaking point, but I was ready for a change. I thought about trying to get her attention, but she was too busy naming my dolls and stuffed animals really hokey old people names like Jasper and Bella. It was only the doorbell which broke her out of her concentration. “Oh, it’s Brian,” she said and opened the door. A high school guy walked in. His hair was too long and he wore a leather jacket, even though it was the end of April. He wore a heavy metal t-shirt and he glance at me with apprehension when he walked in. “I thought you were babysitting by yourself,” he said. He pointed at me. “Who’s she?” She took me by the hand. “Hey Beth, this is my boyfriend Brian. Beth is Violet’s niece. I’m babysitting her.” He gave me a puzzled look. “She needs a baby sitter?” “Um, yeah. She hit her head in college and is brain damaged. She can’t talk and the head injury really set her back. She acts like a toddler and even has to wear diapers. “That is kind of gross,” said Brian. “Well I am getting paid a hundred bucks for the weekend. I don’t care if she needs diapers or not.” She frowned at me and then reached her hand into my diaper. “Oh someone needs a diaper change.” She took my hand and led me to the guest bedroom. “Should I wait outside?” he asked. Of course he should wait outside. Was he a moron or something? No, but someone was. “Nope. She does know one way or another if you can see her get changed.” She motioned me to a towel she laid on the floor. “Lie down for your diaper change, Beth.” I could have made a fuss, but I would have got changed anyway, so I just lay down and closed my eyes. She pulled off my jeans and opened my diaper and I just wanted to die as she began to clean me with wipes. “Eww,” said Brian. “I’m waiting in the living room.” I was so grateful he decided to leave me alone. She pulled the diaper off me and put the new one in place. Then after applying a bit of powder, she closed up my diaper. I then lifted my butt to let her put my pants back on, but she just pulled me to my feet. “I am not putting your pants on. If you wet, I really should keep an eye on you.” I was angry, but I had to accept further humiliation. What else could Brian see of me that he hadn’t seen already? He already saw what was under my diaper and I didn’t have much under my shirt. Even Lillie had bigger breasts than me and she was probably going to be showing hers to Brian that night. There was going to no way I would win tonight. I would just complain angrily to Violet when she got home. She took me by the hand out to the living room and I reluctantly took a seat on the floor and played with the blocks. I felt foolish sitting there in a diaper and a shirt, but Brian wasn’t paying attention to me. Lillie was straddling him on the couch and he had his hand up her shirt trying to undo her bra. My stomach hurt so bad, but I smiled anyway. It was time. I sighed. I really was going to do this. There was no way to last the weekend without pooping myself and I had forgone my chance to mess before my bath. However, I had to go. I sat on my hands and knees in front of my tower of blocks. If I pushed, I would have a massive poop in my diaper. I looked up at Lillie and Brian. His hand was down her pants and she was moaning. I pushed. At first, I had trouble. I had to go a lot and it hurt as my butthole was stretched uncomfortably. Then the poop touched the inside of my diaper and I just had to push harder. Soon I could feel my diaper push away from my butt and I looked back to see a bulge. It looked like someone shoved a grapefruit in the back of my diaper. Lillie and Brian were still making out, and even though I knew that I smelled, the scent probably hadn’t reached them. I crawled a bit closer to them and then sat down hard in front of the tea set. The bulge in the back of my diaper flattened and I felt the mess spread all over the inside of my diaper and the smell increased. Immediately I regretted what I had done, but I grinned as Brian tried to sit up suddenly, which knocked Lillie to the floor. “Did you just fart?” he asked her. “It smells like shit in here.” Lillie got up. “No, I didn’t,” she said. They both looked at me and Lillie groaned. “Beth must have had an accident.” “Well, I’m going to go,” said Brian. “Good luck changing that dirty diaper.” “I’ll just change her and then we can get back to kissing,” she said. “I’m not touching you after you’ve touched a messy diaper,” he said. “I’ll see you when you don’t have babysitting duty. Oh. Shower first too.” She scowled at Brian as he went out the door. When the door shut, she helped me to my feet. “You do realize,” she said, “that you kept me from losing my virginity. I hope you didn’t make me lose Brian because he and I are going to get it on.” She pulled me to the guest bedroom and laid me on the floor for the second diaper change of the night. However, as soon as she opened my diaper, it became clear that she was unprepared for what she needed to do. At first she just stared at me lying on the open diaper. Then she thought to grab some wipes and tried to clean me. Then she looked at her hand and gagged. It looked like her eyes were watering and she got a panicked look on her face before running into the bathroom. I heard puking sounds that went on for quite a few minutes and then I heard the sink running. Soon she returned and then closed the dirty diaper back on me. I was confused. I hoped she wasn’t planning on leaving me like this. Instead, she led me to the bathroom and stripped me naked. Then she sat me in the tub, before undressing herself. She then got in with me and started the shower. The water ran down and washed the mess away in brown rivulets. I noticed Lillie was careful to stand away from me as she directed the nozzle of the shower toward my diaper area. Once we were both clean, she laid me down and diapered me and then got a new outfit to put on. I smiled until she came back. I had not only ruined her night with the boyfriend, but I also managed to make her throw up. However, I didn’t realize that she would have her revenge on me. “Well, since it is just us girls,” she said, “let’s watch a movie.” She led me back to the living room. I sat on the couch while she put in a DVD. “I’ll get you caught up on the Twilight movies,” she said. By the end of the night she made me watch the three Twilight movies she had. I don’t know which was more annoying: the movie or the squeeing when one of the characters took off his shirt. Chapter Eleven: The Weekend By the third movie, I was started to nod off. There are only so many ways that you can present the same love triangle and keep the audience interested, especially if the girl in question is a flake. I was already wet before the first movie, but at the end of the third I was ready to leak. I didn’t really know how to get Lillie’s attention, so raptured by the movie she was, but I had to do something. I was sitting beside her on the couch, so I turned and squeezed a bit closer to her so my diaper was right up against her and put my head on the arm of the couch. She put her hand on my hip to push me away, and that squeezed a bit of pee out. “Eww,” she said. She got up and pulled me off the couch. There was a wet spot the size of a quarter on the leg of her jeans and there was a larger spot on the couch. “Let’s get you changed,” she said. She grabbed the remote and hit pause and then took me by the hand to the bedroom. As we walked up the stairs to the bedroom, pee leaked out with each step. None got on the carpet, but wet drops were running down my legs. Violet never let it get this bad, but I could talk to Violet and I couldn’t talk to Lillie. She laid me on the floor and started to change me. She opened the diaper and looked inside. “Well, I’m glad you can’t talk,” she said. “It’s my own fault I let you get this wet.” She took a baby wipe and started to clean me. “I hope I didn’t let you sit it your wet diaper long enough to get a rash.” She continued to clean me and then she got some Desitin and started to smear it on me. She smeared the stuff everywhere and rubbed it in a little too thoroughly. Violet always brushed it on lightly with a baby wipe. Lillie used her fingers. I had to close my eyes and concentrate to sit still and not squirm from the stimulation until she finally finished. Her hands were white and she tried to wipe them on a babywipe but it really didn’t wipe it completely off. She then closed my diaper and sat me up. “Well it is time to get ready for bed anyway,” she said. “Let’s go to the bathroom and get our teeth brushed.” I followed her and then she sat me on the closed toilet seat while she scrubbed her hands. It took her about five minutes and then she returned her attention to me. “So Beth,” she said, “will you be good for me while I brush your teeth?” She picked up my toothbrush and put some toothpaste on it and ran some water on the toothpaste. I guessed she intended on brushing my teeth for me. Violet never did that, but it made sense that if I was really an idiot after getting my head bashed in, I would need some help in that area. I opened up my mouth and let her. It’s a weird feeling when someone is helping you brush your teeth and I really didn’t like it. She held my head immobile with her left hand and brushed with the right. She stopped from time to time to let me spit, but I gagged when she went too far back with the tooth brush. Finally that ordeal was over and any chance of the bad mood I was in from that humiliating tortuous night was over. “Well, I’ll put you to bed,” she said. She led me into the guest bedroom and then physically tucked me in bed. She then took out a book. “You want a story?” I was in a panic. I didn’t want to have to read another sparkly vampire book. I gave a yawn, but it didn’t do me any good. She started to read. About the second paragraph, I was beginning to like the story. Not a sparkly vampire in sight. I glanced over at the cover. Suzanne Collins, a different author. She read me the entire first chapter and then stopped. The worst part was, it was a cliffhanger chapter and I was hooked. She took the book with her, left the nightstand lamp on and left the room. I did wonder what happened in the book, but I was too exhausted from my ordeal to sneak out and get the book to finish. Instead I turned off the lamp, rolled over, and tried to go to sleep. All I did was toss and turn. The bed was comfortable enough, but I had to lay in the center and I felt like I was going to fall out. I shouldn’t have. I slept in a full bed before and even shared it with Peter. In college I slept in a twin bed. However since I lived with Violet, I had slept in that crib. I slept on my side in an almost fetal position, and liked the padding of the crib bumper against my butt. There was no comfort and safety of the crib railings either. The bed had clearance on both sides, and I did not like that. When I slept in Peter’s bed, my side was against the wall and I had that safety. My dormroom bed, and even my childhood bed was against the wall as well and I slept with my back to the wall then too. I did not like this situation and all I did was toss and turn. I realized that I was stupid. I was an adult and not a baby, despite how I was treated and despite the fact that I was reduced to peeing and pooping myself in diapers and up until today, sleeping in a crib. I was beginning to think something was wrong with me. I rolled onto my back and flooded my diaper and then rolled back to my side. I thought back to how Peter treated me, even though I was a dream of lots of guys. Back then, I dressed like a stripper in lacy negligees or teddies. However when I didn’t live up to Peter’s ideal or he was just in a bad mood, I was his punching bag. As Violet’s baby, I was treated gently. Even when I was being bad, like with my temper tantrum on the way home from Mrs. Luther’s house after the first time I messed my diaper, or even by disrupting Lillie’s makeout session with her boyfriend, I was never beaten. Allowing myself to be treated like a baby made Violet happy and even though Jeff was embarrassed by the whole diaper thing, he was gentle to me since I was in diapers. I tossed and turned until the clock on the wall said 3:30 and somehow fell asleep. ### Morning came. Usually the sun shining through the curtains woke me. It was easy to get up early when I was put to bed before eight, but I didn’t get put in bed until after twelve. This morning, I woke as Lillie shook me awake. “Time to get up sleepyhead,” she said. She pulled me to a sitting position on the edge of the bed and then brushed her hand against the sheets where I had been lying. “Ah good, no leaks. Now let’s get you a bath so we can go to the mall.” I groaned inwardly. I didn’t want to go to the mall. I was going to report her to Violet for this though. I let her get me up and pull me by the hand to the bathroom where she stripped me naked and lowered me into the tub. I frowned, but I really had no choice. For one, I couldn’t say anything, and secondly, I needed a bath to wash the pee off me. As safe as a wet diaper made me feel, I hated the feeling after sitting in it for hours. The soapy water relaxed my muscles since they were so tense from sleeping in an unfamiliar bed. I lay back in the water and let Lillie do all the work of cleaning me. After the bath, though, Lillie took me to the guest room where she dressed me. I was diapered and then she went to my closet and looked through my clothes. She chose a pink denim skirt and a yellow t-shirt. I frowned when I saw her selections and noticed she didn’t choose stockings to go with the skirt. I had no choice but to let her dress me like that. She dressed me in the skirt and the t-shirt and I looked in the mirror with horror as I noticed the skirt only came down to mid thigh. I would have to be extremely careful if I didn’t want my diaper to show and being careful wasn’t exactly what a mentally disabled girl normally did. I could pull something like this outfit off if I were wearing panties and be confident of not flashing them, but the skirt hung a bit different with a diaper on. I tried to make the best of it though. We went out to the car and I got in the passenger seat where she strapped me in. She then drove to the mall, or so I thought. Instead of the mall we stopped at the medical supply store where I first got my diapers. Lillie guided me inside. When we got inside, I looked around. There was still the whole warehouse feel to the place. Shelves went clear to the ceiling. There were still the creepy endcap displays of weird medical devices, but that wasn’t the worse part. Carlos, the worker that I had a crush on, was there. He smiled at me when he saw me. “How are you doing, Beth? Can you talk now?” My knees felt weak and I wanted to fall into his arms. I couldn’t do that, but I did look at him and smile. “Well, you look like you’re making progress. I didn’t get a smile last time.” Lillie ruined the reunion. “I need to get some adult diapers. There should be an account under the name Violet Green that you can charge to.” Carlos tapped a few keys. “Yes, I see it. What kind of adult diapers do you need? We have over twenty varieties.” “I don’t know.” She pulled my skirt up, flashing my diaper at Carlos. “This kind.” I pushed my skirt down. “Hey,” I said offended that Lillie showed off my diaper to a hunk like Carlos. Carlos and Lillie stared at me. Carlos came from around the counter and took my hand. “Did you just talk, Beth?” I had blown my cover. Chapter Twelve: I’m Getting Better My cover was blown because I reacted to Lillie exposing my diaper. I didn’t know what to do. I thought about trying to explain why I was in this situation, but how would I tell a hunk like Carlos that I allowed myself to be regressed and babied to make Violet feel better. Well, I was threatened last time Carlos saw me, but he didn’t need to know that. He held both my hands in his and I just wanted to melt. I wanted to explain, but I knew whatever I said, he would probably think I was a freak. “Beth, it’s okay to talk. Go ahead.” I didn’t say anything but just stared into his eyes as I wet my pants. I had to pee since I woke up, but didn’t have a chance before Lillie had me dressed and I had even considered wetting in the car. The shock of being discovered made me relax my bladder. “Is she getting better?” asked Lillie. “I don’t know,” Carlos said. “You need to tell Violet that she talked, so she can tell Beth’s doctor. The brain is funny. She could fully recover or only relearn bits and pieces.” “Well that will be nice if she recovers. I have been reading books to her,” said Lillie. She was obviously trying to take credit for the word I let slip out and I was afraid the vampire fiction would continue, but it was possible that she had shifted to the Hunger Games series since I had taken in all the Twilight stuff she had forced me to watch. “Reading to her might be nice,” said Carlos. “Now let’s get Beth her diapers. Do you have her diaper bag?” He gently patted my head. “I think it distressed her when you raised her skirt in front of me. Maybe we can look in there for a spare diaper.” Lillie left me in the care of Carlos and went to the car for my diaper bag. I was so embarrassed that I almost completely missed the fact that I had gotten away with my slipped word. However, I would be expected to start to get a little better. I was also glad that Carlos tried to spare my feelings by keeping me from being exposed. However, I would soon be embarrassed again. Lillie came back with my diaper bag in hand. She looked at Carlos and frowned. “I think I put her last diaper on her this morning. I don’t have any extra to show you.” I wanted to shake my head or run out of there. I just put my hands at my sides and held my skirt down. Carlos smiled at me and put one hand on my shoulder. “I don’t have to see your diaper Beth. I can get Lillie to help us out.” “She won’t know the difference if you just take a peek?” said Lillie. She reached for the hem of my skirt, but Carlos stopped her. He opened a cupboard and pulled out a few varieties of adult diapers. I never knew there were so many. He then asked Lillie to identify the one I was wearing. She looked the diapers over and pointed to one. “I didn’t know they made purple adult diapers.” She sighed and then shrugged. “Hers are white, but you have a lot of white diapers here. I just know hers are peach on the inside.” “Oh, you must mean these.” He handed her an ATN diaper like the one I had on. Again I didn’t dare ask what ATN stood for. He opened it up for her to see the peach color on the inside. “Those are them,” she said, “although I kind of wish we could try the purple ones on her.” “Well, they kind of cost more,” he said. “Well let’s get a case of her regular diapers and put it on Violet’s account. I will just give you the money for a pack of the purple diapers.” She smiled. “If Violet likes these, she may want to switch her.” Carlos rang up the sale. I smiled at him and he smiled back at me. My heart beat heavily in my chest and I imagined myself in his arms. He was so gentle to me so far and I really liked him. Of course that was because I was in diapers. I made too many mistakes in relationships to be able to do my part. I never measured up to Peter’s standards. Besides, the point was moot. I was standing in a wet diaper and he knew I was diapered, so I probably didn’t even show up on his radar for potential dates. He carried the diapers to Lillie’s car and I walked out after him, my hand tightly held by Lillie. After saying goodbye, Lillie buckled me into the passenger seat and we were off to the mall. If I knew how embarrassing this mall visit was going to be, I would have thrown a fit until Lillie took me home, not that it would have done me any good. ### The two of us entered the mall by the food court and Lillie sat me down for a snack. Of course she went straight for McDonalds. I sat in the chair in front a big diaper bag at my place at the table and brooded while she ordered. I thought about wandering off and enjoying the mall by myself, while she ran around panicked and looking for me, but I was really wet and after the events at the medical supply store, it would cause suspicion when I was found if I took the diaper bag with me, or better yet, changed out of the diaper in the bathroom and went without any underwear. Lillie returned later with two happy meals. She put a four piece McNuggets and a small fry in front of me and put her one McNuggets and fries in front of her. She peeled open some sweet and sour sauce and started to eat. I grabbed a ketchup packet so I could eat my fries, and she snatched it away from me. “No, Beth,” she said, “you’ll make a mess. Let me do it for you.” She opened the ketchup and squeezed it into the lid of my McNuggets box. Hiding my mental capabilities was starting to be a pain in the ass and in more ways than one. My rashy butt from her last late change was still bothering me and being wet didn’t help. However, all I could do was sit there and eat my food. I noticed that McNuggets do not taste good without sauce. Ketchup didn’t make them taste much better. The sign on the McDonalds had an advertisement for the next toy and I was excited that they had Star Wars light sabers, but when I reached in the bag for toy, it was only a Build a Bear stuffed bear. Why did Lillie have to get the girl’s toy when there was Star Wars? At least Lillie didn’t try to wrest that from me. I tucked the unopened toy in the pocket of my diaper bag, determined to exchange it for a light saber at the first opportunity I could get away. We ate the meal and then Lillie opened her bear toy and played with it in front of me. She looked in my bag and frowned when she didn’t see it, but she only shrugged. She made the bear dance and looked at me. “Why aren’t you smiling? You smiled for Carlos. Can’t you smile for me?” She danced the bear in front of me and started singing a little tune. I finally gave in and smiled because if I didn’t, I think we would have sat there all day. We finally got up and as I stood I allowed myself to pee again. However, I stopped as soon as I felt how saturated the diaper was. If I had wet any more, I think I would have leaked right in the middle of the food court. I took her hand and pulled her toward the bathroom. “Wait,” said Lillie. “The stores are this way.” She sighed. “Well now that we are by the bathrooms, I kind of got to pee. You are lucky you don’t have to deal with that anymore.” I wanted to scream. How could a baby sitter who knew I was in diapers be so dense as to not know to check my diaper? Still oblivious to my need for a change, she pulled me into a stall and used the toilet. It was too much. I grabbed the back of my skirt, and made sure it wouldn’t get pee on it when I leaked into my diapers and I just relaxed and further wet my diaper. Pretty soon, a few drops of pee escaped the leak barriers and ran down my legs, making a tiny yellow puddle between my feet. She gasped and pulled up my skirt to my chest. “Don’t worry. I’ll change you as soon as I am done. The only time I babysat someone who was still in diapers, they cried when they were wet. You don’t really do that. I wonder how Violet knows when you are wet.” She finished using the toilet, and then got cleaned up and dressed. She then took me by the hand to the baby change table and tried to get me to get up on it. Giving up, she took me to the stall and ripped my diaper off me. She frowned when she saw my rash was worse, but she didn’t bother to do much about my skin except wipe me with baby wipes. She then opened out a diaper and tried to change me standing up. It took forever, and when she finished, my diaper was high in the front and low in the back and it was also on crooked. However, I had peed already and knew I could hold it long enough to make it home soon. Soon we left the bathroom and went out into the mall. There were a lot of stores that Lillie just ignored. She didn’t take me into the book store or even the video game store. We only stopped at Abercrombie and Hollister before stopping at Hot Topic. She didn’t buy anything, but she tried on nine outfits in Hollister. However, the clerk at Abercrombie wouldn’t let us go in the fitting room together, so we had to leave. That left us at Hot Topic. I used to like Hot Topic. Aside from my grunge attire from thrift stores, I liked to wear vintage or insulting t-shirts. Hot Topic had that kind of stuff. However, Hot Topic had changed. There were a whole lot of Twilight shirts. Of course Lillie squeed when she saw each one. She grabbed a shirt that said, “I drive like a Cullen,” and another that had a picture of Edward on it and went to the checkout stand. “Hi,” she said. She actually winked at the clerk. He smiled back. “Hi, Lillie.” I looked at the clerk again. It was Lillie’s boyfriend Brian. “I kind of missed you last night,” she said. “I had to sleep in Jeff and Violet’s king size bed and it was too much bed for me by myself.” He looked at me. “Well, I was kind of grossed out. I almost gagged.” “Well you didn’t have to change her,” she said. “I threw up for over twenty minutes. Believe me, I took a shower and changed clothes right away.” “So what brings you here?” he asked. “I need these t-shirts,” she answered. She put the shirts on the counter. “New policy. We can’t check out family or friends.” He turned to another clerk. “Jazz, can you please ring up my girlfriend?” Jazz had closely cropped pink hair. Her hair was even shorter than Brian’s. Actually, besides being pink, her hair looked the same as mine. She had metal all over her face. There were about five pairs of earrings, a nose ring, an eyebrow ring, and even a ring where her cheekbone was. She took the Twilight shirts and rang them up. “That will be $43.29.” Lillie handed her money and then took the bag from Jazz. “Thanks,” she muttered. “Are you one of those Twi-hards too,” she asked me. I almost shook my head. However, I caught myself in time. Brian spoke up. “She’s the handicapped girl that Lillie is watching this weekend. I told you about what happened.” “Oh, her,” she said. “Brian, if you weren’t so allergic to responsibility, you would make it far in this world. You held yourself back.” She flashed a smile at Lillie. “I got to keep cracking the whip all the time when I am working with him. Now Brian has a lot of work to do without a girlfriend to distract him.” Lillie frowned, probably because Jazz dismissed her. We walked out the door together. Lillie clutched the diaper bag strap against her shoulder and held her bag with her purchases in the other hand. I just followed. I was humiliated. Did everyone we ran into today have to know I was diapered. She gave me a tug and I felt a tape pop on my diaper. That was all I needed. If I peed, I would leak, and I was grateful I had peed everything out less than an hour ago on the bathroom floor. “Well, I’m ready to leave,” she said. “Let’s go back to the car and I will take you home.” At least it was over. Hopefully we could sit around at home until Violet and Jeff returned. However, we barely got across the mall when a hand shoved me at my shoulder. “Beth, you bitch.” Chapter Thirteen: The Roommate I looked up at the girl who called me out. “Sylvia--,” I started and immediately shut up before blowing my cover again. I usually answered, “Sylvia, you slut,” when I greeted my former college roommate, but I couldn’t this time. Besides, I didn’t want Sylvia to see me and know what I was doing. She was my best friend and I was afraid she would think I was a weirdo. I couldn’t just stand their quietly, but I couldn’t talk in front of Lillie. Lillie however pulled me behind her and stood between me and Sylvia. “Who are you calling a bitch, bitch? Don’t you know better than to make fun of disabled people?” She made fists and shook them at Sylvia like she was going to fight. “Relax,” said Sylvia. “Beth’s my friend.” She looked back at me. “I hardly recognized you. You cut your hair.” I smiled weakly. I hoped my hair was all she noticed. Lillie lowered her fists a bit, but she wasn’t done talking. “Beth can’t talk to you,” she said. She looked at me again. “Are you still mad at me about that argument we had? That was two years ago.” As roommates we got along all the time, except when it came to Peter. Sylvia hated Peter. She always told me he was bad news. When I moved out of the dorm to move in with Peter she was livid. She screamed and yelled at me and she wouldn’t even help me pack. “He already gave you a black eye once,” she had said. “He’s going to keep hitting you. Please don’t move in with him.” I had slammed the door in her face. “You don’t understand,” said Lillie. “Beth can’t talk to anyone. She fell off a balcony at her sorority and hit her head. She suffered brain damage.” “Beth wasn’t in a sorority.” She looked at me. “Peter did this to you, didn’t he? I’m not letting you go back to him.” “Who’s Peter?” asked Lillie. “And who are you?” “I’m taking care of Beth while her aunt and uncle are out of town.” My story was falling apart. Why couldn’t Sylvia be quiet? Next she would probably say that I had no aunts or uncles. I had to do something and that meant breaking my silence. Lillie, was there, so I would have to break my silence silently. Fortunately, Sylvia was deaf, and even though she was good at reading lips, I tried to learn sign language to be able to talk to her. <Shut up or you’ll blow my cover,> I signed. Sylvia stared at me and shrugged. <Long story. I’m going to give you a hug. Just slip you number in my pocket and I will explain everything tonight.> I moved forward and gave her a hug. She hugged me back, and then I felt her hand brush my butt. There was a slight crinkle and she got a confused expression on her face. I didn’t want her to know about the diapers. However, before I could say or do anything, Lillie took my hand. “I got to take her home.” She squeezed my hand for emphasis. “She’s not still living with Peter, is she?” asked Sylvia. “I don’t know any Peter,” Lillie answered. “I don’t like you either.” As she pulled away, I reached into my back pocket with my free hand and pulled out a business card with Sylvia’s number. I put it back in my pocket knowing I would have to call her that night and I would have to do it after Lillie went to bed. Chapter Fourteen: I Know it’s Gross When Lilly finally got me home, my diaper was wet. It wasn’t too wet, but I really had to pee and I was afraid I would leak through the diaper that she had so poorly put me into. She took me inside and immediately laid me on the living room floor. I lay down there as she took my diaper and got everything laid out for my change. She lifted my skirt up and then undid the diaper. “Oh, I wish I could have changed you sooner, Beth. Your rash is a bit worse.” I could only just lay there as she changed me although I wanted to dress her down for how bad a job she did at babysitting me. However, she didn’t suspect a thing, although I thought she would have to be really stupid to think I wasn’t faking it. She began to rub the rash cream on my diaper area and I had to grit my teeth in order to not cry out. I am definitely not into girls, but it takes a lot of control not to squirm when being rubbed down there. I wondered how she could be oblivious to that fact, but I really needed diaper rash cream today, and then soon it was over. “There,” she said and closed and taped my diaper. I sat up and crawled over to the couch and took my seat. She turned on the TV for me and left it on the Cartoon Network, which gave me a chance to relax for the first time that day. I didn’t even notice when she went to her car until I saw the cases of diapers in the living room. A lone pack of purple Molicare diapers sat on top of the cases of my regular diapers. I wondered how long it would be until Lillie tried one of the purple diapers on me. She was excited about them the first time she saw them and I knew it would be a matter of time. However, they just sat there ignored as we sat together on the couch and watched movies. Thankfully they weren’t Twilight, but they weren’t movies I would have chosen. After the last movie, Lilly looked at her cell phone. “It’s already nine,” she said. “How about I get you to bed? I’m a bit tired, so I’ll be going to bed myself too.” I let her lead me to the guest room where I lay on the floor for my diaper change. Once in a clean diaper, she tucked me in and read another chapter of the story she had read me the night before. I listened with rapt attention and by the end of the second chapter; I realized that I wanted to know what happened next. However, it was soon over and she flipped on the baby monitor and left me lying in bed. I lay very still while I listened and it seemed like Lillie was in Violet’s bedroom. It was my chance now. Slowly and quietly, I crept to the door, but then I remembered that the door made sounds when it opened and I glance back at the baby monitor. That was going to be a problem unless... My eyes followed the power cord to where it was plugged into the wall. I merely had to pull the plug and now I could make noises. I opened my closet and went through the laundry and got Sylvia’s card. I then opened the door and then crept down the hall. Sure enough, there was a light under the door to Jeff and Violets room and I could hear the shower running in the master bathroom. I was safe. I went down the stairs and then saw my book on the end table. I scooped it up and went into Jeff’s office. The office was surrounded by book cases on all the walls. A love seat sat in the center of the room. A desk was in front of the couch. It was a strange arrangement, but I guess Jeff just liked to be comfortable when working or reading. I sat in the loveseat and opened the center desk drawer. Inside was a plain flipphone. Nothing was special about it, but it could dial a number. I grabbed the card which I tucked into the waistband of my diaper and dialed Sylvia’s number. It rang and then I heard someone answer. “Hey Sylvia, you slut,” I said. “Hold on,” said Sylvia. “I can’t hear anything. I got to turn on my cochlear implant.” There was no talking but I could hear movement. Finally she spoke. “Hi Beth. Now you got to tell me what is going on with you.” “Well, it’s kind of a long story,” I said. As an afterthought, I added, “You can hear me? I suppose I could text.” “I can hear you,” she said. “My implant’s behaving so far.” “Good,” I said. I didn’t know how much I wanted to tell her but I really wanted to stall. “Beth, I haven’t seen you in forever. I barely recognized you with your hair cut so short and you were wearing way different clothes. You stopped dying it black. What happened to the grunge look?” “Peter threw all that stuff away,” I said. If she had grown up hearing, she probably would have said, “Beth,” in a scolding tone. “You probably let him change who you are. I’m surprised he didn’t have you dressed like a stripper.” “Well,” I said. “Well, what?” “Well, I only was allowed to wear lingerie when I lived with Peter. However I don’t live with Peter anymore.” “Who are you living with now? And who was that strange girl?” “Well, I live with a nice couple now. No one hits me anymore.” “Well I’m glad you are not getting beaten,” said Sylvia. “I wonder why you let Peter do that to you. How badly did he hurt you? That girl said you were brain damaged.” “Two broken arms and a bad cut to the head,” I said. “I know, but Peter was really drunk and he found out I was going to leave. He then stole the car my mother gave me to escape him and he totaled it and got himself killed.” “Peter’s dead?” she asked. “Yes,” I said. “I’m glad he died,” said Sylvia. “So how did you move in with this couple?” “Well I met them in court. Peter managed to run into the woman and she had a miscarriage. I lost in court and have to pay her restitution, but I didn’t have a job or money, so I just work for her.” “What do you do for her, Beth?” “Well,” I started. I didn’t want to tell her about the diapers and playing baby. “That story doesn’t make sense,” said Sylvia. “What do you do for her? You got to do something besides go shopping with that silly teenager then.” I thought for a minute. “Okay, I’ll tell you, but you got to promise not to laugh at me or condemn me.” “Beth, I promise.” “Okay,” I said. “I’m Violet’s baby.” “What do you mean that you are Violet’s baby?” “Violet was depressed after her miscarriage and I let her care for me as if I was a baby. I sleep in a crib and she dresses me and takes care of me. It makes her feel better.” “Is that why you were wearing a diaper?” asked Sylvia. “What?” I asked. I was definitely going to deny that. “I was not.” “I felt it through your skirt when I passed you the note,” she said. “Fine,” I said. “Violet makes me wear diapers. I am her baby.” “Beth, you know that is kind of gross. Do you have to use them?” “I know it’s gross, but it’s not so bad unless I have to go number two.” “Beth, it’s wrong how you are being treated. I am driving to where you are at and picking you up.” “No, you promised not to condemn. Besides, if I don’t work for Violet, I have to find another way to earn the money for restitution. I don’t really have a work history for the last two years, so getting a job will be difficult. Otherwise, I will go to jail. I am kind of enjoying not being beaten.” “Beth, you shouldn’t have to be humiliated. That teenager was dragging you around the mall in a diaper and telling me, a complete stranger to her, that you were brain damaged.” “Well, that wasn’t planned. My cover is that I fell off a balcony at my sorority house and suffered brain damage, so I have the mind of a toddler and need to wear diapers. When Jeff and Violet were going on their anniversary this weekend, Lillie’s aunt gave them Lillie’s services as a baby sitter. She is behaving rather irresponsibly, but she thinks I can’t talk. Jeff and Violet were originally going to give me run of the house, but they couldn’t turn down an offer of a babysitter, because who would leave a girl with the mind of a toddler by herself?” “Beth, slow down. My implant can’t process when you are talking so fast.” “Sorry.” I slowly explained to her Lillie’s role and she did seem satisfied. “Still, I don’t like this situation,” she said. “You shouldn’t have to give up using the toilet. That is kind of gross.” “I know it is gross, but I don’t really mind. No one hits babies in diapers and no one has hit me since I started wearing them.” “Beth, I care about you,” said Sylvia. “You don’t need to live like that. I have a great job and a two bedroom apartment by the university. You can move in with me rent free while you finish your degree and you won’t have to live like this.” “I can’t,” I said. “My probation won’t let me.” “Well, I want to talk to you again Beth,” said Sylvia. Suddenly I heard a sound out in the living room. “Beth, where are you?” called Lillie. “I got to go. Call you back later.” I folded the phone and stuck it in the desk draw just as Lillie walked in. “Oh there you are, Beth. I was worried when I found you weren’t in bed. The baby monitor wasn’t working. Besides, you aren’t supposed to be in here.” She took my hand and led me back into the guest bedroom. As we passed my new diapers I noticed the bag of purple diapers was missing. Chapter Fifteen: I Want My Mommy It was Sunday. Lillie slept most of the morning, but she came in my room around eleven to get me a bath. I heard her walking down the hall and immediately tried to wet. However I didn’t have to go as I was already wet. I didn’t usually wake up in a wet diaper and I didn’t remember wetting since my last diaper change the night before. I shrugged and let Lillie help me out of the bed and then walked with her to the bathroom. She pulled the wet diaper off of me and then sat me down in the tub. She then handed me a toy boat and she began to scrub me as if I were a baby. Of course she wasn’t as gentle as Violet. If anything, she scrubbed me too hard and she paid a little more attention than was necessary to my diaper area. “That rash is starting to heal,” she said as she scrubbed my bottom. “Still, I want it to be gone before Jeff and Violet return tomorrow night.” Tomorrow night? They were supposed to be gone only for the weekend. Was it a three-day weekend? I tried to think about the date, but I couldn’t remember. I had spent quite a while with Jeff and Violet but I didn’t know how much of my probation was left. I thought I had been with Violet for a few months, long enough to get used to the diapers, but I haven’t thought it’d been long enough for me to forget the date. I wondered how much time I had left and then what I would do when I no longer have to wear diapers and live with Jeff and Violet. “Beth, let’s get you nice and dry, and I will put you in a nice clean diaper.” She smiled at me and helped me up out of the bath. The towel she dried me with was nice and fluffy and in no time she dried me and put the towel on the floor for me to lie on while she got me in a fresh diaper. “I’m going to try one of these purple diapers on you. They feel really soft and you can wet two or three times before you need to be changed.” She unfolded the diaper and put it under me and then rubbed Desitin and powder on me. I tried my best to keep from squirming as she rubbed it into me, but I couldn’t help myself. “Stop wiggling,” she said. “I got to get this cream on you or Violet will think I’m not keeping good care of you.” At least she didn’t realize I was getting turned on. I closed my eyes until it was over. “Now I am going to powder you.” She shook baby powder on me and then closed my diaper. Then she frowned and looked at her hands. “Ick,” she said. She stood up and began to scrub her hands in the sink. “This stuff is really sticky.” She scrubbed for about five minutes while I lay on my back with an untaped diaper under me. Finally when she was done, she knelt down and taped up the four tapes. “There, all done.” She pulled me to my feet and we went down stairs to the living room. She sat me in front of the TV and then turned it on to a children’s channel. She and I sat together and watched TV for a little bit. The show was Rugrats. Did she think I was an actual baby instead of some poor unfortunate college girl? I rolled my eyes at such a juvenile TV show. However, Lillie was giggling at every joke. It was really ridiculous. After the show ended, she got up and went up to Violet’s room. I grabbed the remote and flipped thought the channels until I found a western. My father had always watched westerns on Sunday afternoons, so I knew them all. It was one of my favorites. I really liked Clint Eastwood a lot. I sat on the couch and relaxed, wetting my diaper whenever I had to go. Lillie left me alone for over two hours. At the last two thirds of the movie, the North and the South shot cannons at each other while trying take over a bridge. Lille called down to me. “Beth, are you all right?” I turned the volume down lower but then I heard Lillie shuffling around upstairs. I thought nothing of it and just continued watching the movie. It was toward the end and the heroes had crossed the bridge to get the gold. However, Lillie stormed down the stairs after about five minutes and she wasn’t too happy. She took the remote from my hand. “Don’t play with the remote Beth. You’ll miss your show.” She turned the station back to the children’s channel and pointed me toward the TV. “I was all comfortable. Just relax.” I sat there and watched a kid’s show about a talking train. I hate anthropomorphic vehicles. They just bother me. It was all I could stand to watch Knight Rider reruns. At least Kitt didn’t have a face. Thomas and Percy did. If Lillie wasn’t there I would have turned the channel to see whether Blondie, Tuco, or Angel Eyes ended up with the gold. Instead I was stuck watching talking trains. After the train show, Lillie made an actual attempt to cook for me. She actually found a can of Spaghettios. Violet might feed me baby food, but that was because it helped her cope with her miscarriage. Lillie, was just a lazy teenager who was given a task beyond her abilities. Unless actual kids lived on Spaghettios, tomato soup, Mac and Cheese, and cheese sandwiches. That was all she cooked for my meals. In the mall I had to eat a Happy meal. When she was done cooking, she came out of the kitchen and took me by the hand and steered me toward my place at the table. She shoved a bowl in front of me. “Now this is messy, so let me help you,” she said. She took one of my bibs and tied it around my neck. I can’t believe that Violet showed her the bibs, but I suppose that a brain damaged adult would need a bib. She then took the spoon and fed me. I tried my best to cooperate, but ended up with tomato sauce on both my face and my bib. I really was a baby. I relaxed and allowed myself to wet my diaper. Lillie looked down at my crotch and then stuck a finger in the leg. I jumped. “You sure are wet. Let’s finish dinner and we can get you changed.” I looked at her for an instant, thinking that she was going to feed me with the same hand that touched my peed in diaper, but she got up and rinsed her hands in the sink. I finished the last of my food. When she changed me, she put me in my normal diapers. Apparently the purple diapers were not good enough. They were thicker and kept me dryer than the ATN diapers and I might ask Violet about them, but Lillie must not have liked them since she gave up after me using only one diaper. At least I was clean. ### The weekend with Lillie was long. Monday included a picnic in the park, fortunately without a public diaper change. In the late afternoon we returned to the house. Upon entering, I was immediately sat in front of the TV and then Lillie disappeared. I had no idea what Lillie was doing, but she was running around the whole house. She ran down stairs twice to get grocery bags and then I saw her running around the house. I got up and went upstairs and saw her go to Violet’s room, so I just went into the guest room and sat on the bed. I smiled when Lillie came into the room with a grocery bag full of diapers. She started feeding them into the diaper genie. She didn’t even notice me sitting on the bed. I thought it strange that more than one of the used diapers were purple, but maybe she didn’t use more purple diapers on me because they were damaged easily. She loaded the diapers in the genie and then turned around and saw me sitting there. She jumped when she saw me. “Beth, you scared me.” Her face turned pink. “I was just throwing your dirty diapers away.” She opened the diaper genie and threw the whole chain of diapers in a garbage bag. She then walked around the house gathering all the household trash. Afterwards, she went into Violet’s room again and shuffled through a bunch of stuff. She walked out with her bag in her right hand and the half bag of purple diapers. Was she throwing them out as worthless? I ran to the other room and looked out the window. She put the diapers in the trunk of her car along with her overnight bag. I shrugged. She did pay for the things herself. She was certainly free to take the unused ones home with her, but I didn’t know what she planned on doing with them. I don’t know how half of them were soiled. I really didn’t look every time she changed me. Maybe I had worn them, but I didn’t think I had wet five of them. I returned to the living room and sat on the floor and played with toys until she returned from the car. The second she returned from the car she checked my diaper. “I hope you’re not too rashy,” she said. “I don’t want Violet thinking I didn’t take care of you.” I ignored her and continued to pretend to play with the toys. Lillie, on the other hand, sat on the couch and bounced her leg nervously. She was in a panic. She was worried about how Violet would react to her treatment of me. I decided I would give Lillie something else to think about when Violet returned. I really had to poop and I was holding it because I didn’t want it to happen someplace embarrassing. I actually didn’t want it to happen at all, but I had learned that pooping in a diaper was inevitable. I waited until I saw Jeff and Violet’s car driving toward the house and then I pushed the mess in my diaper. I sat and continued stacking the blocks. Lillie noticed right away and she also noticed that Jeff and Violet just had pulled into the driveway. She got a deer-in-headlights look in her eyes and I knew she wanted me in a clean diaper when Violet entered. She grabbed me by the arm and pulled me up the stairs to the bathroom. Quickly, she lay me down and opened my diaper and then looked at what she had to deal with. “Why now, Beth? Couldn’t you have waited just ten more minutes?” I heard the door open. “We’re home,” said Violet. “We’re up here,” called Lillie. Violet and Jeff came up the stairs and then Jeff saw me in my messy and open diaper. He turned away and left. Lillie frowned and then began to wipe me clean. She closed her eyes and tried not to think about what she was doing as Violet watched her changed me. “She just pooped now. I was going to make sure she was clean when you came back. Sorry.” Violet smiled. “It’s not easy to predict that,” she said. “Go on and change her and I will get your babysitting money.” “Thanks,” said Lillie. She returned to the task of cleaning me. However, she had to go to the toilet a couple times to throw up before she had me wiped clean. She had just finished and had me in a clean diaper when Violet returned. “Here is your money?” said Violet. “Did you have any expenses?” “I bought her a Happy Meal,” she said. “That was only $3.79.” Violet handed her four more dollars. She put the money in her pocket and then helped me to my feet. Then she helped me with my pants. I went to Violet and put my arms tightly around her waist. “I guess she really missed you,” said Lillie. “She hasn’t been away from us since she came here,” said Violet. “Oh, and she talked.” Violet looked surprised and then glared at me. “Yeah, she said a word in the medical supply store. The guy said it was a sign that she might get better. He didn’t guarantee anything though.” Violet smiled at me. I didn’t blow my cover even though it was an excruciating weekend. “We hope for the best,” said Violet. ### As soon as Lillie left the house, I looked at Violet. “May I please have a bath?” “You can wait until bedtime,” said Violet. “I know you messed yourself when you did to make Lillie panic.” I wondered how Violet knew. “Besides, what was this about talking?” “I’m sorry. She put me in a skirt and took me to the medical supply store to get diapers. When Carlos asked her what kind of diapers I wore, she flipped up my skirt and showed him. I just accidently said, ‘Hey.’” I rolled my eyes. “She wasn’t exactly discrete about my condition.” “Be careful about your cover in case we need to hire Lillie as a babysitter again.” “No way,” I said. “Anyone but her.” “Was she that bad?” I told her everything. “Well, go relax and I will make dinner.” I left the room and went down to Jeff’s office to retrieve my book and get the ending read. When I entered, Jeff was sitting on the couch behind the desk. “I’m sorry you had to see me as disgusting as I was,” I said. “What?” “During my diaper change.” “It was just awkward. I didn’t mean to see anything.” I picked up the book and sat in one of the chairs. Quickly, I found my place in the book. “So how was the weekend away with Violet?” “It was great. We went to St. Louis and saw the arch and then we stayed in a beautiful hotel room.” “Cool,” I said. I had never had anyone take me somewhere exciting. Peter never took me anywhere. I sat in the chair and read my book and then selected another one. “Is Violet getting a bit better?” “I think so,” he said. “Your willingness to put up with the way she treats you sure helps. I really don’t think it’s healthy for you though. Do you really want this treatment?” “Like you said, it helps Violet.” I smiled. “It’s only for two years.” “Your probation is for two years,” said Jeff. “The court never said you had to stay with us the whole time.” I thought about how Jeff and Violet never beat me. “I like staying with you guys,” I said. “We like having you, Beth. Now go read in the living room. I need to catch up on the mail.” I left the office and went to sit on the living room couch where I curled up with my book. ### I received my much needed bath and was all dressed in my clean diaper and new t-shirt with a picture of the St. Louis arch on it as Violet led me to bed. I walked into the guestroom, but Violet turned my shoulder toward the nursery. “It’s back to the crib for you, Beth,” said Violet. “I need my baby.” I smiled. “I actually missed my crib,” I admitted. “I felt like I was going to fall out of that bed. If I am saddled with another babysitter, please push that bed against the wall.” “I thought we would have an argument,” she said. She took my hand and helped me into the crib. I curled up and let her tuck me in. “Goodnight Beth. I am glad to have my baby back after my trip.” “I missed you too, Mommy.” I finally called her Mommy. It took being stuck with Lillie to really appreciate Violet and I enjoyed being taken care of. Violet looked at me with tears in her eyes. “Calling me Mommy means a lot to me. Thank you.” She turned off my light and closed the door. I lay in the crib several minutes before closing my eyes to go to sleep. I was once again safe in my crib and I had on a clean diaper. There was nothing else I needed. Was I really looking forward to leaving so I could use the toilet? Besides having to mess the occasional diaper or eat the occasional jar of baby food, everything was perfect. All I really was missing was friends. Chapter Sixteen: Mommy’s Illness In the weeks since Jeff and Violet’s weekend away, I had started to let Violet baby me even more. She still bathed me and put me to bed, but I stopped complaining before needing to poop and just kind of pushed it out wherever I was. It was gross, but then again, I was getting used to it, just like I was getting used to peeing. I wondered if pooping would ever stop feeling gross to me. Sitting in a wet diaper actually started to feel good. However, I wanted out of a poopy diaper immediately. I woke up wet for the second day in a row. The first morning, I thought it was just a fluke, but now I was worried. “Mommy,” I said into the baby monitor. “I’m wet.” Violet came to change me, but I still felt worried. What if this was a continual thing? Still, I forgot about the bedwetting when I found out what Violet had in store for me. We were visiting the Luther’s. Mrs. Luther was always kind to me, but I knew I would once again have to face Lillie. I hadn’t seen her since she had babysat three and a half weeks before and today I knew I would have to face her again. I had no idea what horrors I would have to face with her. Violet dressed me in my green corduroy short-alls and I frowned. “I’m not going to the Luther’s like this, Violet,” I said. “You are wearing what I dress you in.” She closed the latches on the bib of the overalls. They were the same type of latches that thwarted my attempt to poop in the potty at Violet’s editor’s office. “But this is the most babyish outfit I have,” I said. Violet gave me a stern look. “And you are my baby, Beth.” She led me down the stairs. “Please don’t make me go to the Luther’s like this, Mommy,” I begged. “We are going to have breakfast before we go anyway,” said Violet. “Do you want canned peas or canned carrots?” There was a mirror over the couch and as we walked down the stairs I saw myself in it. I looked less like a twenty-two-year-old and more like an eleven-year-old. It was awful. Complaining would do no good. Whenever I complained, I got fed baby food instead of adult food. I fake smiled and looked in the mirror. “Actually, I was mistaken about the outfit being too babyish for me. Nothing is too babyish since I rely on my mommy to dress me and even change my diaper.” I looked pleadingly into her eyes. “Will you give me something yummy to eat for breakfast?” Violet gave no indication that she knew I was faking, but she smiled. “I suppose we can have some breakfast tacos.” “Thank you, Mommy,” I said. I picked up my book off the coffee table and followed Violet into the kitchen where I sat at the table. Violet went to the refrigerator and took out some bacon and eggs and started to cook them on the stove. She even warmed up the tortillas on the stove instead of merely microwaving them. I just read my book, while the meal was being cooked. I got through half a scene about how a character named Miri had been caught stowing away on a starship. She was just about to be led to the captain when Violet interrupted my reading. I bookmarked my book and saw that Violet had put a plate in front of me with two breakfast tacos on it. “It’s time to eat,” said Violet. She sat across from me with a similarly loaded plate. The only difference was that she had a glass of orange juice and I had a sippy cup. We prayed and then I took a bite of my breakfast taco. It was pretty good cooking. Even though Jeff and Violet were upper middle class and they ate out often, Violet had a few good recipes. “So will you be able to get along with Lillie today?” she asked. I rolled my eyes, but at the stern look from Violet I nodded. “I know she embarrassed you at the mall and she wasn’t as responsible as I had hoped. However, it will break your cover if I punish her because of that because you really couldn’t have told on her.” I took another bite, swallowed, and then stared. “I don’t like her,” I said. “It will just be for the morning.” “I guess I can deal with it this morning, Mommy, but I can’t handle being babysat by her.” I took a sip from my sippy cup. We ate. Violet smiled at me between bites, until we finished. I sipped down the rest of my orange juice and looked at Violet. A sippy cup did not hold enough for an adult. “May I have some more juice?” Violet smiled. “I have something else in mind.” She cleared the table including my sippy cup and put everything in the dishwasher. She then took some apple juice from the refrigerator and poured it into a bottle. She then took me by the hand to the living room. We sat together on the couch and I lay with my head in her lap and was fed my bottle. The apple juice was nice and cool and I greedily drank it up. I was so thirsty for some reason and Violet was gentle. She was singing softly to me as I suckled on my bottle. Suddenly Violet sat up straight. She lifted me off her lap and stood up and ran toward the downstairs bathroom. I put my bottle on the coffee table and followed her. I didn’t ever use the downstairs bathroom. In fact, it was off limits to me, but I followed Violet in anyway. She was in distress when she hurried to the bathroom and I was worried. I found her on her knees in front of the toilet puking her guts out. Her face was red. I knelt beside her and rubbed her back until she seemed to get control of herself. “Are you all right?” I asked when she had changed positions to sit on the floor instead of kneel over the toilet. “I’m fine now. I was really nauseous,” she said. “Do you want to stay home instead of going to the Luther’s?” I asked. I am afraid that I asked the question too eagerly. “No, we are not missing the meeting,” she said. She stood up and washed her face and then took me by the hand to the car. We stopped by the living room long enough for me to pick up my book and Violet to pick up my diaper bag and my bottle, then we were out the door. The car trip to the Luther’s was uneventful except for Violet making sure I was drinking my bottle. By the time we arrived at the Luther’s I had finished the bottle and was already feeling the need to pee. “Violet,” said Mr’s Luther as she met us at the door, “how was the trip?” “It was very enjoyable,” answered Violet. “And Beth,” she said, “I hope you are doing well. Your friend Lillie is in the bedroom. Do you remember her? I bet you will be glad to see her.” I fake smiled. I surely remembered Lillie and her treatment of me and I was certainly not happy about having to spend the morning with her. I followed Violet into the house and we walked into the living room where all the ladies were meeting. I looked at the clock. It was still stopped. I frowned. I hated the fact that the clock wasn’t wound. Today would be the day I would fix it. Instead, Lillie appeared in the living room and took my hand. “Oh, Beth,” she said. “I’ll entertain you in the bedroom so you don’t get bored and bother the ladies during their meeting.” She pulled me toward the hallway, but first paused to grab my diaper bag. As soon as we were in the bedroom, she unbuttoned my jeans and thrust her hand down the front of my diaper. “Still dry,” she said. She buttoned me back up. “I’ll change you if you wet,” she said, “but I’ll be checking on you. Violet said I let you get a rash, but she had done the same.” I turned and sat on the bed. There were no toys, but Lillie reached into her bag and pulled out a stuffed animal, or rather just the head of a stuffed animal. It was a red bird. I looked at it again. The bird head had wings on the side of its head. “Caw caw,” she said and tossed the bird at me. I caught it and held the thing. I wondered who would make a stuffed bird head. A phone rang in Lillie’s bag and she reached in and pulled out her phone before answering it. “Hi, Brian,” she said. I rolled my eyes. “I’m just babysitting Beth.” She paused while listening to the response. “Yes, she is the one.” I was starting to get mad. She took every opportunity to talk about me. However she changed the subject and talked about annoying teenage things with Brian. I was bored. I saw Lillie’s bag and wondered it that Hunger Games book was inside it. She had dumped out my diaper bag and gone through it when I was in this room with her last. I dumped her backpack out on the bed. The effect was surprising. The Hunger Games book did tumble out of the bag along with a pair of khaki shorts and a camisole, a box of Girl Scout cookies, and two of those purple diapers. “I got to go,” said Lillie and then hung up the phone. She grabbed the diapers from me and then shoved them in her bag. “Beth, don’t go through my stuff.” She then gathered the clothes and cookies. I wondered why she had the diapers. It had been weeks since she babysat me. Her face had turned red when she saw the diapers. They embarrassed her. I thought back to how so many of those purple diapers had been wet. I did not remember wearing that many. Was it possible that Lillie needed diapers? No. The very thought was absurd. I pushed the book at her. “Oh,” she said. “You want a story?” She picked up the book and started reading it. I just curled up beside her and closed my eyes and listened to the story. She didn’t read the whole story, but she did read almost the whole time. At least there were no vampires. About midway through my time at the Luther’s, we were called in for refreshments. I sat at the table. “Beth, would you like some juice?” asked Mrs. Luther. Violet smiled. “She can have juice.” Lillie held a cup and Mrs. Luther poured juice in it. Lillie then put the cup in front of me. “Now don’t spill,” she said. “I’ll get you a cookie.” I took a sip of my juice and then realized that I had to pee. I relaxed and wet my diaper. The wetness felt so warm. I was started to like the feeling of a warm diaper. I wondered what was wrong with me. Lillie brought me the cookie. I was not a child, yet she had only brought me one cookie. I ate it and then drank the juice. When I finished, Lillie smiled at me. “All done,” she asked. She pulled me by the hand out of my seat and I followed after her back toward the bedroom. On the way back, Violet hurried past us to the bathroom. I didn’t get to see why she was in such a hurry because Lillie pulled me into the bedroom. When we were alone, she shoved her hand in my diaper. “You are really wet,” she said. She laid me on the bed. “Let’s get you changed.” I lay back as she undid the latches to my shortalls and pulled them off of me. I was just in my diaper and t-shirt and when she undid my diaper. I was really wet and really needed the change. Before she could get me wiped clean and put in a clean diaper, Violet came in. She looked a bit pale. “Lillie, finish changing Beth. We are going to leave a bit early.” I looked at Violet and wished she would finish changing me. However, that wasn’t going to happen. She just sat in a chair by the door. “No, Lillie. You don’t have to rub the Desitin in that much,” said Violet. “You can just brush it on with a baby wipe. It’s really sticky stuff.” Lillie frowned. “I wondered why it stuck to my hands so badly.” She took the wipe and brushed it on me which was a bit more comfortable than her rubbing it on my privates with her fingers. Soon I was changed and we walked out toward the car. “I hope you feel better soon, Violet,” said Mrs. Luther. “I was just a little nauseous,” she said. She took my hand. “Let’s go home, Beth.” When we got to the car, I looked at Violet. “You don’t look so good. Are you sure you are okay to drive? I can drive.” “I was just a little nauseous. I’ll be fine if we go straight home. Besides, you don’t have your license or any ID whatsoever.” That panicked me. “I have no ID of any kind? I left that stuff behind at Peter’s house. What am I going to do?” How would I get a job or anything if I didn’t have that kind of paperwork? I didn’t think I would be staying with Jeff and Violet forever. “You’re my baby and you don’t need all that grown up stuff. Relax. Besides, your probation officer brought all that stuff to us soon after you first moved in with Jeff and me.” She patted me on the leg. “Now let’s get home and we can take naps.” We drove home. I didn’t care for the idea of a nap since I didn’t really do anything except wet my diaper, read, and watch TV. I did sleep whenever I was tired, which was rarely, because Violet put me to bed early every night. However, we walked in the front door, and she led me straight to my crib. “I’m going to take a nap so I will feel better,” she said and walked out of my room. ### I woke up from Jeff shaking me. “Wake up. Violet overslept and told me to get you up.” I sat upright and my blanket shifted down, revealing that I was only wearing a slightly wet diaper. Jeff looked away. “Can you please get me a t-shirt?” I asked. When I saw he was looking in the dirty clothes basket, I pointed toward the dresser. “The second drawer.” He tossed me the first t-shirt he saw, the three Jacob moon shirt. I hated that shirt, but I pulled it on anyway. “I’m decent,” I said. At least my torso and diaper was covered by a clean t-shirt. Jeff turned to me and the pulled down the side of my crib. I hopped out, but not without exposing the back of my diaper. “Do you need a change?” he asked me. I didn’t know if I wanted him to change me. I hoped Violet would be able to change me. If she were ill though, maybe I could be an adult until she got better, unless Lillie were to come and take care of me. I hoped it didn’t come to that. “Umm,” I said. “Violet is taking a shower. If you can wait that long, she can change you,” he said. “Otherwise...” He let that thought trail away. “I can wait,” I said. “I’m just wet.” “Good,” he said. “Changing an adult is a bit too personal for me.” He opened the dresser and found a pair of shorts and handed them to me. I stepped into them and buttoned them on. I had a little bit of trouble with the zipper because I hadn’t dressed myself in so long, but I got finished dressing. We walked downstairs to the living room. We watched TV a bit and he asked me about my reading during the commercials. I told him about the Hunger Games Lillie was reading to me. “I heard about that series,” he said. “There is going to be a movie for that book.” “Oh yeah. Do you suppose Violet could take me?” He laughed. “You’ll have to ask her.” By the time Violet came down, I was already nose deep in a book. I looked up as she crossed the room to take her spot in her chair. “Feeling, better?” I asked. “Much better,” she said. “Will you change my diaper, Mommy,” I asked. “I’m very wet.” Jeff looked at me a bit strange when he heard me call Violet Mommy. However, he just shrugged. “Come on, baby,” she said. She led me back up to my room and pulled off my shorts and began to change me. As she worked, she talked to me. “We both had big naps, didn’t we,” she said. “I’ve been a little bit tired the last few days and it really helps that you are being such a good girl for mommy.” “No problem,” I said. “Good,” she said. “Now let’s go back down and watch TV.” I stood up and stepped into the shorts as she held them for me and buttoned them and then we returned downstairs. ### After spending the evening with Jeff and Violet, I was put to bed. It was very hard to sleep since I had napped all afternoon. I tossed and turned until midnight and wet my diaper before I had even gotten to sleep. However, in my warm wet diaper I was able to get to sleep. Chapter Seventeen: Changes Ahead My days consisted of waking up, wetting my diaper, having a bath, and then spending the day with Violet as she either wrote, visited her editor, or went to meetings at the Luthers. Some days we went shopping which meant getting publically dragged around in diapers and child-like clothing. For entertainment, I either watched TV or read the books in Jeff’s study. That is how my days normally went. Today was not normal. A cramp woke me up and I noticed my diaper was already wet. I had been wetting my diaper in my sleep more often in the last couple weeks. I wasn’t quite sure if the cramp was from needing to poop or my period starting. It was probably both, which really meant nothing. Diapers ended my need to worry about that type of thing. Usually I didn’t need to poop first thing in the morning, but today I did. Also Violet had been suffering from nausea for the past couple days. With Violet sick, I was reluctant to greet Violet first thing in the morning with a messy diaper, so I held it in and waited for her. She came in when she heard me stirring in the baby monitor. “How did my baby sleep?” she asked. I smiled back at her. “Okay, Mommy,” I said. She helped me out of the crib and I stood there slightly bent over from the cramping. “Are you feeling better?” Violet smiled. “I’m doing good,” she said. We went to the bathroom and Violet began drawing the water for my bath. I finally relaxed and filled my diaper. I could feel that it was a lot. She didn’t seem to notice that I was messy. She sat on the toilet and watched the water fill and I just stood there with a big bulge in my diaper. Suddenly she got up and turned around, dropped to her knees, and fumbled with the LidLok before throwing up. She then dry heaved a bit and then sighed. “Wait here, Beth. I am going to call the doctor.” I groaned. I wanted the dirty diaper off and I wanted my bath. I just stood there and waited until she came back. However, when she returned, I did not get my wish. “Beth, the bath will have to wait. We got to be at the doctor’s in thirty minutes or he can’t fit me in for three more days.” “Violet, I just pooped and I need a bath.” “Mommy has been feeling nauseous for a few days. I need to see the doctor. Lay down on the towel and I’ll change you and then we need to hurry and get you dressed.” I lay down and then Violet finally noticed what I did in my diaper. “Oh, let’s get you changed.” She quickly cleaned me and put the new diaper on me before dragging me to my nursery. She then threw some clothes on me: a pair of jeans and a pink t-shirt with the hearts on it. The jeans were tighter than I wished, but I was sure I was just paranoid about the diapers. Once dressed, she dragged me to the car, stopping only to grab my diaper bag. The drive to the doctor’s took most of the remaining thirty minutes. We had just come inside when the doctor motioned Violet to come straight back to an examination room. I just sat in the lobby, bored because I forgot my book. Instead, I picked up a magazine that I remembered from my childhood. I had loved Highlights as a child and loved to read it every time I had gone to the dentist or doctor’s offices. I must have lost concentration for a while trying to find twenty-five different things between two pictures, that I forgot about how smelly I felt. Violet does a good job at changing me, but I always want a bath after a messy diaper and I had been cheated of that. Anyway, before I knew it, Violet had come out of the examination room and even paid for her office visit. “Did they find out what is wrong with you, mommy?” I asked. I said the mommy quietly so no one else would hear me calling her that. “The doctor said nothing was wrong with me,” said Violet. She smiled at me. “Something is wrong if you are throwing up every morning,” I said. “He had to say something more.” “He did,” she admitted. She opened the car door for me and I sat down and let her do my seatbelt. “I got to tell my husband before I tell anyone else.” She came around to the front of the car. “What do you want for breakfast?” “Breakfast tacos.” Violet made a face and pulled into a Dairy Queen. She got me out of the car and we walked in. I scanned the menu for any breakfast items, but I didn’t really see anything. Violet ordered for me. “I’ll have a blizzard, a misty, and a hotdog,” she said. She smiled. “And Beth will have a blizzard, a misty, and...” “No hotdog,” I said. “Make my misty cherry and my blizzard mint chocolate chip,” I said. The man made our food and we went to a table to eat it. Violet put the straw in my misty and pushed it to me. She had ordered larges. I knew right away that the 32 ounces of misty would make me wet and I worried that the blizzard would give me other problems. I have a low tolerance for dairy and ice cream makes the problem worse. Before I came to live with Jeff and Violet I used to make sure that I was near a bathroom whenever I had ice cream. Peter had been so grossed out, that I wasn’t ever allowed to have ice cream while living with him. “So why ice cream for breakfast. You were always so strict about me eating ice cream for breakfast.” “I wanted ice cream,” she said. “And I really got the craving for a misty.” I sipped my cherry misty. As a teenager, I had worked at a Dairy Queen and knew how to make the misty stuff. I had poured 5 gallons of water and a 5 pound sack of sugar into the misty machine along with one packet of the DQ misty stuff. I wasn’t sure what was in the misty envelope, but I knew that it was pure sugar flavored with squirts of pure sugar. It sure was yummy though. Before we left, Violet and I had each drunken a 32 oz misty and eaten a large blizzard. I felt slightly ill, but Violet had a smile on her face. The next stop was Walmart. I hated Walmart. Walmart had long aisles and the bathroom was always hidden. When Peter had let me leave the house, it was only Walmart where we would go. I want to go shopping at the mall or at specialty stores. I did not want to buy dresses or blue jeans in the same place that sold fishing lures. However, this was the first time Violet had taken me to Walmart. She only went to the pharmacy and gave the pharmacist a prescription. “That will be twenty minutes,” he said. We sat on the little bench and waited. Twenty minutes was a long time and suddenly I had to pee. I tried to hold it because my jeans were a bit too tight and I knew the diaper would swell up. However, it just became too much and I started to pee full force into my diaper. It held it all, but I was sure I was going to pee all over the Walmart. Finally Violet got her prescription and we left. I had to walk with a slight waddle but we made it to the car without incident. I couldn’t get home soon enough. As soon as we got in the door I kicked off my shoes and undid my jeans and started getting undressed. I needed my bath. “Beth, what are you doing?” “I need a bath, mommy,” I said. “Do me a favor and just go in and take a shower, please. I’ll bring you some clothes. I really have to pee.” She turned and went to the master bedroom. I was shocked. I had never taken a bath or a shower by myself since I moved in with Jeff and Violet. I closed the bathroom door and pulled off my diaper. I was worried when I saw what was inside. I had drunken the bright red cherry misty and I noticed a lot of wetness in my diaper. I turned on the water and got the water temperature right, and was just about to plug the drain, but then changed my mind. Instead I closed the shower curtain and took a long shower. I paid special attention to soaping my nether regions and then I found the baby shampoo on the side of the tub and used that to wash my hair. Once clean, I toweled myself dry and then look on the counter. Violet had just left a stack of clothes on the sink. I walked up and looked through it. A different t-shirt and the jeans I had worn that morning were stacked neatly. However, on top of the stack was a pair of panties. “Mommy,” I called into the hallway. “Do you need something, Beth?” Violet asked me. “I need a diaper,” I said. “You accidently put panties with my clothes.” “I thought, I’d let you be a big girl today,” she said. Violet was really serious. I was allowed to wear panties today. I got dressed. I felt funny. There was no crinkle as I walked and I had to tug on the waistband of my pants ever few minutes as I walked around. I eventually settled on the couch and read my book as I waited for Jeff to come home. I wondered what the news for Jeff she got at the doctor’s office was going to be. It was serious enough that she didn’t have time to baby me, but she also indicated that nothing was wrong. I thought about the trip to the pharmacy and that confused me a lot. Doctors don’t give prescriptions when nothing is wrong. I was so nervous about the news and I couldn’t wait until Jeff got home so she could tell me about it. I also had nervous urges to pee. It seemed like I couldn’t go half an hour without having to go to the bathroom to pee. I wasn’t going to make the mistake of forgetting I was not wearing diapers and wetting myself. ### Jeff came in at about half past five. I was a mix between excitement and worry when I saw him. “Hi, Beth,” he said when he came into the living room. “Hi, Jeff,” I said. “Violet needs to talk to you about something important. She won’t tell me what it is, so it must not really be any of my business, but I am worried about it just the same. She was acting weird all day since she came back from the doctor’s office.” “Was her nausea continuing?” I nodded. He went into Violet’s office and shut the door. They spoke in low tones, so I couldn’t hear what they were talking about. Still, they seemed to be in there a long time. I tried to read my book, but I couldn’t concentrate on it. I just sat on the couch and tapped my foot nervously. Finally they came out. Both Jeff and Violet were smiling. “Beth, do you want to go with us to Applebees?” asked Jeff. "We are celebrating.” “Celebrating?” I asked. “I’m having a baby,” said Violet. It suddenly became clear to me why I was back in panties. Now I would be forced to be Violet’s maid and be subject to beatings if I failed to perform. I was no longer Violet’s baby. I smiled. “That’s wonderful, Violet.” I didn’t feel like smiling. I wondered what was in store for me. ### Applebees was good. I had a nice meal and even had some drinks. We sat around the table and Jeff raised a glass to me. “Thanks for being part of our family the past few months, Beth,” he said. He smiled and lowered his voice. “I bet you are glad to be out of diapers now.” I smiled back and took the last sip of my Dr Pepper. “Excuse me, I have to go to the restroom.” I got up and went to the bathroom. I chose a stall and did my business and went to the sink and washed my hands. I had felt so embarrassed about the diapers and everything the last couple months and now, here I was with the ability to act like an adult. I quickly returned to our table and found that my drink was refilled. I sipped as Jeff and Violet talked among themselves. “So have you given any thought to what you are going to do next?” asked Jeff. I froze. What could I do? “I guess I am going to help Violet with housework while the she’s dealing with the baby and stuff. I mean since she doesn’t want me to be her baby anymore.” I hoped I had given the right answer. “We’ll talk about our options in the next couple of months,” said Violet. I nodded. Things were changing and I didn’t know what was happening. I didn’t really like change. “We don’t need to change anything right away, Beth,” said Jeff. “We’ll just move you to the guest room for now. We just need to discuss what to do when it is time for you to leave us.” There it was. They were going to kick me out. I felt like crying. I wanted to respond, but my throat hurt and I knew if I said anything that I would start balling. When I lived with Peter, balling just got me a beating. I just stayed quiet until we left the restaurant. The drive home was too much. As soon as I sat in the car I noticed I had to pee. I was about to wet myself. Twenty minutes later I felt a spurt in my panties. Unfortunately by the time we arrived at the house, there was a wet spot the size of a saucer on my pants and I was about to lose it. We pulled in the driveway and almost as soon as the car stopped, I got out and headed for the house. Jeff had his key out and I was crossing my legs. Suddenly my crotch went numb and I began wetting. The wet spot grew and lost its roundness as rivulets of pee ran down my legs into my shoes. Jeff looked at me with concern, but Violet just shrugged. “Did you forget you weren’t in a diaper again?” asked Violet. “No,” I said. “I just couldn’t hold it.” I started balling without even trying to stop. I knew I would be beaten anyway, so there was no point in controlling my emotions. Jeff got the door open and Violet escorted me to the bathroom. I just stood there and she had to undress me. Besides, I knew everything would be a big mess. However, as soon as I was naked and in the bath, Violet left me to clean myself. Once clean I just sat in the water until Violet came with my jammies. It was just my sleeper, but I wanted to wear it most of all. There was also a pair of panties on top of pile. I looked at Violet. “I need a diaper for bed tonight.” “Beth, you don’t have to wear diapers anymore,” she said. “You can wear regular underwear. In fact I’ll take you to Vitoria’s Secret tomorrow and we’ll get you some nice bras and underpants.” I shivered. I hoped she wouldn’t make me wear only underwear around the house like Peter had done. I had enjoyed the security of being a baby. Only a terrible person would hit a baby and no one had hit me during the time I spent diaper. I got dressed in my jammies and went down the stairs to join Jeff and Violet in the living room. I took my seat on the couch and hung my head. “Are you all right, Beth?” he asked. “I’m sorry I wet my pants,” I said. I waited for my punishment, but it never came. “You probably just need to remember that you aren’t wearing diapers anymore,” he said. “Yeah,” I muttered. I didn’t want to tell him about needing the toilet every half hour or waking up wet, so I was just quiet. “So I heard you have two years of college,” he said. “You had pretty good grades before you dropped out too.” “Yeah,” I said. “I was an engineering student.” “You ever want to finish?” he asked. “Someday,” I said. “I don’t know how I will ever get the money. I don’t exactly have an income right now and I still owe you guys all that money.” “You’ve worked some of it off,” he said. “We’ll talk about that tomorrow. Why don’t you get some rest?” I walked to my nursery, and put down the rail and started to crawl in for the night, when Violet came in. “Don’t sleep in here,” she said. She took me by the hand and led me to the guestroom. “You will sleep in here for now on.” The guestroom looked a bit different. The big full bed sat in the corner of the room now, so I would be more comfortable. I got under the covers and rolled over to face Violet. “Thank you for letting me be your baby. I felt so loved.” She bent down and kissed me on the forehead. “Jeff and I still love you very much. You were a very nice baby and helped me to heal and we got to find a way to thank you.” She turned out the light and left the room. I tossed and turned a little trying to get comfortable and the bed crinkled a bit from the plastic mattress protector, but I finally got to sleep. Of course I woke up in the middle of a puddle wearing a wet sleeper. Chapter Eighteen: Being an Adult I’ve haven’t woken up wrapped in wet sheets for a long time. The last time, unfortunately, was when I first started college. In college a girl is allowed to experiment with grown up things and it was no different for me. After our first set of exams, Sylvia snuck some wine coolers into our dorm and the two of finished two six packs of them by ourselves. It was my first taste of alcohol and wine coolers are so nice and sugary that I just drank one after another until they were gone. Waking up at three in the morning in college after wetting the bed was humiliating for me. Sylvia was nice about it, but she still teased me gently. Aside from that wetting, I think I wet my bed when I was in second grade once because I had soda before bed. I had gotten a spanking after that accident. So I had a good record when it came to bedwetting. However, wearing diapers allowed me to get lazy and I think I did something bad to myself. I got out of bed and stood there looking at the puddle in the middle of the bed. I wore only my wet sleeper and the wet panties I had on underneath. I sighed. I started stripping the bed. I thanked God for small wonders that Violet had left the plastic sheet on the bed. I sopped up the puddle with the dry portions of the sheets and then threw the bundle in a pile on the floor. I looked down at the sleeper and then took it off and dropped it into the pile. I had no idea how I was going to hide this from Violet. I guess it would be my first job as Violet’s maid. I picked up the bundle and opened my door. Violet was on the other side of the hall coming out of her room. “Beth, what are you doing?” I froze as Violet closed the distance to me. She looked past me to the bed and she probably couldn’t help but notice the wet sheets in my arms. “Did you wet the bed?” I nodded. “I couldn’t help it,” I said. “Don’t spank me.” “Well, Beth,” she said. “Let’s not worry about the sheets right now. Instead let’s get dressed for the day.” I was wearing only my peed in panties. I never would walk around in front of Sylvia like that. In front of Peter, I always wore a negligee or a teddy, but never just in a pair of panties, especially not a peed in pair. I let Violet take the sheets and throw them on back on the bed. She led me to the bathroom. “Take a nice shower and I will get you some clothes. I did promise to take you to buy underwear.” “Even though I wet the bed?” I asked. “I thought you would punish me.” “Just get cleaned up. We’ll discuss the bedwetting later.” I took a long shower and cleaned myself. I didn’t want the shower to end, because I dreaded the horrible punishment I would receive from Violet afterward. Finally, I couldn’t poke around in there any longer. I had already shaved my legs and underarms, washed and conditioned my hair, and scrubbed every inch of my body until it was pink. Finally I had to turn off the water. My clothes were neatly laid out on the toilet. I dried off and then took the plain white panties and put them on. I then put on the Sponge Bob shirt and jeans she had laid out. There were no socks and no shoes, so I finally came out of the bathroom fully dressed. “I’m ready to discuss the bedwetting,” I said. I was nervous, and held my hands together in front of me. “We don’t have to talk about it immediately,” she said. “Let’s sit down in the living room and talk about it.” I followed her down the stairs. My blanket with the toys on it was gone. They were probably put away, just like the LidLok on the toilet and the bath toys that had disappeared. We sat on the couch and she sat beside me. “So what happened?” she asked. “I’ve been waking up in a wet diaper the past couple weeks,” I said. Violet got a sad look on her face and then looked at me. “Oh,” she said. “It’s probably my fault then. I’ve been babying you to make myself happy and I didn’t think of the physical consequences to you.” “You mean that you aren’t going to punish me?” I was astonished. “No, I am not. However, we still have to wash your wet things.” She looked me in the eyes and said, “Beth, do you mind terribly if we went back to diapers for the nighttime until you are able to make it through the night without wetting?” I did feel safer in diapers and although I wanted my adulthood back, I couldn’t help feeling incomplete without the diapers. “Yes, mommy,” I said. “I am willing to wear diapers to bed again.” She gave me a hug. “I’ll try to make it up to you the way I treated you.” She smiled. “Let’s get you some underwear. You really can’t survive on three pairs of panties.” I did a mental inventory. There was the pair I wet last night outside the door, the pair I wet in bed, and the pair I had on now. That meant that I had no underwear left. I wondered if I wet now, I would be put back in diapers for the day. “Let’s go then,” she said. She then looked down at my feet. “Oh. Shoes. Yours are still wet from the washing machine, so let me get you something else.” She left me and returned with a pair of flip-flops. They were pink and had pink sequins on the cloth part. She also brought my pink headband and put it in my hair. “Your hair is starting to grow out a bit more. It’s not enough to make pigtails, but it is growing longer.” It was true. I had about four inches of hair and Violet had been trying to comb it into as girly style as she could. It still went all over the place and those headbands we bought on our first shopping excursion had come in handy. I slipped on the flip flops and we went to the mall. ### The mall had the same few stores, but I didn’t care. It was the mall. It would be fun as long as I didn’t have to go to Hot Topic. However, as soon as we got to the mall, I announced that I had to pee. “Didn’t you just go at home?” asked Violet. I had gone in the shower, but I didn’t want to tell Violet I had such a gross habit. “I did go at home, but I have to go again.” “Okay, let’s go then.” She led me toward the bathrooms. Of course when we got there all the stalls were taken. I put my hand in my crotch and rocked while I waited for another stall. “Why are you so desperate?” she asked. “I’m going to have an accident,” I said. Fortunately, someone came out of a stall and I managed to hobble in there and get my pants down. I was surprised that I had made it to the toilet. Violet managed to get a stall next to mine and she did her business while I examined my panties. They weren’t wet, but it would have been a matter of seconds before I started flooding. I wondered what was going on. I didn’t really pee that much though. I came out and washed my hands. Violet joined me. “I’m sorry for that childish display,” I said. “Do you have trouble holding if for long?” asked Violet. Everytime she’d seen me, I had been either in diapers or on the verge of an accident. “I used to be able to hold it an hour or two,” I said. “It seems like the last couple days I’ve had to go every half an hour. When I was in diapers I just relaxed when I got the slightest urge, so I didn’t bother trying to hold it.” “It’s good I am letting you out of diapers now,” she said. “A few more months and you might have had to wear diapers permanently.” “What do you mean?” “Your bladder is just a little weaker now. That is probably why you are wetting the bed too. That’s why it is important for you to try to wear panties.” We left and went to Victoria’s secret. Violet selected several things for me. It was more than just pushup bras and matching panties. She even bought me a pair of adult pajamas. I had a feeling that sleepers would be a thing of the past. We finished shopping and we left the store with little pink striped bags. As we were walking through the mall, we came across a watch place. Violet stopped and we looked at watches for a few minutes. “I’m getting you a watch,” she said. “Okay.” I didn’t really have or wear a watch and I hadn’t since before college. In college I had a cell phone, so really didn’t need a watch and then Peter had told me I didn’t need a watch because there was a clock on the stove. As Violet’s baby, I didn’t have a watch because I really had no set schedule. I just did what Violet had me do. She selected a digital watch and asked the guy at the watch counter about alarms and stuff. I didn’t really pay attention and I was disappointed by Violet’s suggestion. However she had something in mind. We went to the food court and she let me select the place to eat. I looked around and saw the Hardees. I had loved the food there, but I shuddered at the thought of pooping in my panties. I knew I would be able to go to the bathroom, but I couldn’t shake the memories. Cold Stone was a no. I was on the toilet the whole afternoon from the ice cream and didn’t want to deal with that. McDonalds was a big no. I did not want another Happy Meal. That just left the Chinese place and Sbarro Pizza. “Sbarros,” I said. “That sounds like a plan,” said Violet. We got our pizza and sat down at a table and Violet started playing with the settings on my new watch. I ate in silence, wondering what she had planned. “I set your watch for every thirty minutes,” she said. “It should beep and then that should tell you when to go to the bathroom. We’ll make the time longer each time and find a happy medium between accidents and not building your bladder muscles.” She took my arm and slipped the watch on me. “Okay,” I said. “What if it doesn’t beep when I am desperate or it beeps when we are in the car or something?” “Beth, it’s not a perfect system, but you do need to be able to hold it longer again.” “Okay,” I said. “I will try my best.” “That’s all I ask.” We left the mall. ### It was good to be home again. However, I felt miserable. I could only use the toilet when my watch beeped and that meant crossing my legs with desperation waiting until the next beep. It was awful. However, Jeff came home. He looked at me and smiled. “We got a lot to talk about tonight.” “Oh,” I asked. I knew he was going to talk to me about how they were kicking me out because Violet was going to have a real baby. “We got to talk about what you want to do next,” he said. “Come in my office.” I entered and then Violet came in and sat with us. Jeff pulled out a folder and spread some stuff out for me. It was a statement for my restitution payment plan and there was also a check laying there. I looked it over, but I wasn’t sure what I was looking at. “You owed us 25 thousand,” he said. “However, you have been with us for about six months already and in that time you have earned money working for us.” I wasn’t sure how much work I had done. I also wasn’t sure how six months could have gone by while I was just acting like a baby for Violet. “How much do I have left,” I asked. I wondered if I could get a job and make back enough to pay them the rest. “Well, your insurance company settled and gave you a check for eleven thousand,” he said. “That’s unfortunately all you get from a totaled brand new car. I didn’t know your car was paid for until the insurance company sent you the money.” He tapped into the calculator. “At the rate of pay Violet and I set for you, you have paid us off. In fact you have 13 hundred left.” “So what do you want me to do next?” I asked. I was free. I didn’t owe anyone anything, but I really had no place to go. I needed to be taken care of. I couldn’t get a real job. “You can do whatever you wish now,” he said. “We loved having you here, Beth,” said Violet. I felt scared a bit and felt my pants suddenly get warm. I looked down and realized that I was peeing myself. Jeff and Violet both noticed right away. Violet got up and just walked out. Jeff looked at me with pity. “I’m sorry,” I said. Just then my watch beeped. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “We will make it up to you.” Just then Violet came back with a towel and had me stand up so she could wipe the puddle from my chair. I was about to go to the bathroom to clean up, but she put her hand on my shoulder. “This is important. We want to make sure you have a good start.” I just sat in my wet pants as I was told what was expected of me. Jeff ignored my wet crotch. “We think you ought to go back to school and finish your degree. You can stay with us until classes start in the fall and you can come stay with us for all your breaks.” “Jeff and I will cosign for you on your student loans,” said Violet. “Do you want me to go to college?” I asked. “We want you to do whatever you want, but Violet and I wanted to give you that option.” “Okay,” I said. “Now let’s fill out these forms,” said Jeff. ### Forms were filled out and soon I would be going to college. Violet helped me upstairs where I took a much needed bath. I put on a new pair of panties and my pink shorts and sat on the couch reading. Jeff smiled at me. “Don’t worry. You have a few months to get your bladder under control. Violet told me you got a bit too used to having diapers and you need time to learn how to be without them.” “Thanks,” I said. “I am really embarrassed about this.” “Well, don’t let it bother you. You really helped Violet and we want the best for you. You are our daughter and we really care for you.” “Thanks, Jeff,” I said. “I never felt so loved as when I was Violet’s baby.” My watch beeped and I excused myself to use the restroom. When I returned, Violet came to me. “It’s late. Do you want to go to bed?” I nodded. “I get you a diaper and then you can put on your new pajamas.” I looked at her confused for a second. “I don’t know how to put on a diaper. Will you please help me, Mommy.” “Of course I will,” said Violet. She took me to my room and I sat on the bed. I got undressed and lay back as Violet powdered and diapered me. She helped me get my jammies on and then tucked me in bed. “Thanks, Mommy,” I said. “I love you. Have pleasant dreams.” She turned off the light and closed the door, leaving me alone. I lay back once again comfortable in my warm diaper. I laid back dreading my potty training that would take place the next couple of month until college started again and then wondered if I could hold it long enough to sit through a college class. I hoped I could because I would finish this time. I would still miss being taken care of. Chapter Nineteen: Potty Training Even though I had gotten to enjoy the baby treatment, it had still been humiliating to have to wear and mess diapers. When it started, I thought I would never be more humiliated. I never guessed that I would need potty training and how humiliating that would be. My bladder was so weak, that I almost constantly had an urgent need to pee. It was awful. At Violet’s house, I could make it to the toilet almost every time, but now we had left for Violet’s editor. “Be good while I have my meeting,” she said and left me in the waiting room. I groaned and then sat on the leather couch and began to read my book. Violet went into the editor’s office. “May I get you some water?” the receptionist asked. “Yes, please,” I said. She gave me a bottled water and then I sipped on it as I read. Before I knew it, the water was gone. Since having my panties back, I had realized that drinking liquids makes it even harder to hold it and I probably should have passed on the water, but I hadn’t. What made regaining bladder control difficult was that I felt I had to pee and then fifteen minutes later, I wet myself. If I did make it to the toilet, I would have another fifteen minutes before I started feeling the need to go, so I could only hold it thirty minutes on the day I first started potty training. I had to extend the time to two hours and I wasn’t making very good progress. I had only set the alarm on my watch to give me thirty-five minutes between bathroom trips. I had to go badly by that time and I looked at the watch. I had two minutes left. I had to hold it longer and longer to strengthen my bladder or I would never regain any useful control. Some of the classes in college were an hour and a half and I couldn’t just slip out of a lecture two times to go pee. I needed to make progress, so I just suffered and crossed my legs and tried to read. After the final two minutes ended, I heard a beep. I got up and walked to the bathroom, but it was hard. I was in a public place and didn’t want to hold myself, but my bladder was about to burst. Once in the ladies room, I put a hand between my legs and almost hobbled into a stall. Before I could even get my belt unbuckled, the dam broke and pee started flooding out. I said earlier that I can’t stop peeing once I start and I peed until I was empty. In my pants. In public. It wouldn’t be so bad if it were not Violet’s editor’s office, but it was. I sat down on the toilet, with my pants still up, and cried. If Violet hadn’t gotten pregnant, I would be in a nice wet diaper and my pants would be dry. I couldn’t walk out like I was and I couldn’t change because my clothes were in the car. I don’t know how long I sat in the stall before Violet came in. “Beth, are you in there,” she asked. I stepped out of the stall and let her see my wet pants. “I didn’t make it,” I said. “I hated to do this at your work. I told you that you should have put me in a diaper before leaving the house.” Violet looked at me. I was sure she was studying the pee stain that must have covered my butt and the insides of my legs. Diapers weren’t really that embarrassing. They are a whole lot less noticeable than wet pants. “That change of clothes in your diaper bag would have come in handy,” she said. She pointed to the puddle on the floor. “Wipe up the mess you made and then get undressed. I have an idea.” She then left me there. I got some paper towels from the sink area and then soaked up the pee puddle and then threw the paper towels away. I then went back into the stall and peeled off my blue jeans and orange panties and then sat on the toilet and waited. I didn’t have to wait long before Violet came back. She carried a duffle bag. She opened the stall door and tossed me a few items. One was a blue skirt and when I went to pull it on, discovered that it had panties built into it almost like a cheerleader’s skirt. I pulled it on and then took off my shirt to pull on the white cammie. Both the skirt and the cammie were a couple sizes too large for me and I was worried about how short the skirt was and wondered if it was inappropriate attire for Violet’s office but it was better than peed in jeans. I folded my wet jeans and then rolled them up with the panties tucked in one of the pockets and then came out of the stall. Violet was gone, but then she emerged from the next stall dressed similarly to myself. She took my wet bundle and stuffed it in the duffle and smiled at me. “Let’s go,” she said. I followed her out the door and into the lobby. At the same time, I wondered why she had changed her clothes too. She hadn’t peed her pants. “Oh, you changed,” said the receptionist. She smiled at Violet. “Are you finally going to start playing again?” “Yep,” she said. “My niece finally noticed the tennis courts in the park and begged me to stop and let her play. She hasn’t been on the courts since before she broke her arms.” I nodded. “Well, have fun,” said the receptionist. “It’s too nice a day. I wish I could go out with you.” “Bye,” said Violet. I waved. She led me out the door and to the parking lot. However, when we went to the car, she just went to the trunk and opened it to throw in the duffle bag. She then reached into the trunk and pulled out some tennis rackets. “Jeff won’t mind if you use his racket,” she said and handed me one. We then walked across the street to the park. I hadn’t played tennis in awhile and I was concerned about playing with Violet since she was pregnant. However, she led me to the court and then smiled at me as we walked in. “Are you sure you can play while pregnant?” I asked. “It’s my first trimester. It will be okay.” She walked around the net. “Besides,” she told me, “the receptionist assumed we changed because we were playing tennis.” I frowned. “As opposed to me wetting my pants.” I looked at Violet with a pleading look. “Will you please put me back in diapers when we get home?” I asked. “I hate this.” “Do you want to wear diapers to college? I won’t be there to change you.” Violet stepped back and got ready to serve. “No, I don’t want to wear diapers to college.” I said as I walked backward to a good position on the court. I held up my racket and waited for Violet’s serve. In the end, Violet beat for two sets. We didn’t even bother playing the third. “You’re good,” I said. “Played for all four years of college,” she said. She was sweating as we walked to the car. “I was there during the time they made sports a requirement for girls so they could comply with Title IX stuff. They could spend a whole lot on a few guys playing football if they had a sport for every girl to participate in.” “They didn’t require sports at my college,” I said, but then I realized I really had to pee. I looked at my watch and it had 25 minutes left. I had missed my last bathroom trip by ten minutes. Now it was urgent. “Violet, I really have to pee?” I said. We walked to the bathrooms, but there was a sign saying they were out of order. Violet tried the door. They were locked. I crossed my legs and tears filled my eyes. “What am I going to do?” “Just squat and go,” she said. “And wet your skirt?” I asked. “It will wash,” she said. I was going to wet my pants anyway, so I just squatted down and peed through the panties of the skirt while Violet rubbed my shoulders. Soon I was done and we walked back to the car. We got in the car and started driving home. I fingered the towel I was sitting on and then looked at Violet again. “Mommy, I need to wear diapers again. I hate these accidents and I keep wetting my panties all the time.” “I know,” she said. “It’s tough after you’ve relied on diapers for so long. However, if I put you back in diapers and you wet whenever you feel like it, then you will never regain your bladder control.” I looked at my watch and then thought for a little bit. Suddenly I knew what to argue. “What if I try to keep my diaper dry? I’ll just wet when my watch tells me I can. If I have an accident and wet earlier, then it will be less messy.” Violet didn’t say anything for a few minutes and we rode in silence. As we were about a mile from the house, she said, “I think I made a mistake of trying to potty train you like an adult. Let me see if I can get what I need in your size. Until then, I guess we can put you back in diapers.” I smiled when I learned I had achieved a victory. ### “Beth, why are you back in diapers?” asked Jeff. He seemed annoyed and a little embarrassed at how I was dressed. As a baby I normally didn’t sit around in just a diaper or a t-shirt. I tugged at the hem of my shirt. “I’ve been having accidents today and I begged Violet to put me back in diapers,” I said. I returned to reading my book. He sat down next to me and took the book. He set the book aside and looked at me. “Beth, you need to try harder. You got to regain your bladder control to go to college unless you want to wear diapers to class.” I wondered what everyone would think of a college girl who needed diapers. I was sure I’d be made fun of. “I’m sorry, but I can’t stop wearing diapers cold turkey. Violet said she was going to try something else to potty train me.” He took my book and was about to hand it back to me. “You can get out of diapers eventually. You helped Violet become herself again and I thought that was impossible.” He handed my book back. “Now a new episode of our favorite show is on tonight, so let’s go watch it after dinner.” “Cool,” I said. ### It had been three days since the tennis court incident, and I had worn diapers since then. I was sitting on the couch when my watch beeped. I smiled and relaxed, letting my diaper start to feel warm when the doorbell rang. Violet walked out of her office and scowled at me when she passed and answered the door. I quickly threw a blanket over myself and looked up to see who was at the door. It was a UPS guy and he had a package with him. Violet signed for the package and then she closed the door. “So what did you order?” I asked. She set the box on the coffee table. “It’s special underwear for you.” She tore open the box and pulled out some items. I looked at them closely. It looked like ten pairs of panties that looked like they were made out of towels and then she pulled out five panties made of plastic. “These will do nicely,” she said. “Those are baby training pants and covers,” I said. “Where did you get them in my size?” She took a pair of the panties and a set of the plastic pants. “They have everything on the Internet.” She took my hand. “Now let’s get you out of that wet diaper and start potty training you.” She took me to my room and I lay on the floor. She cleaned me pretty nicely and I smiled at her. However, once the diaper was off, she pulled me to my feet and handed me the training pants. It was like granny panties, but they were made from a towel. I pulled them on and they felt so soft. Then she pulled on the plastic pants. Those were different. They had elastic at the legs and the waist. The leg bands felt a bit tight and I yanked at them. “Stop touching yourself,” she said. “But,” I started to say. The plastic of the pants touched against my skin where the training pants didn’t cover and plastic doesn’t feel good against the skin. She turned and opened my closet. “What do you want to wear, pants or a skirt?” “A skirt, I guess,” I said. She of course picked the pink short skirt. She tossed it to me and I pulled it on. At least it matched the pink of the plastic pants. After sitting downstairs for a while, I started to sweat. The plastic pants just held the heat against my skin and I was uncomfortable. “Violet,” I said, “I’m hot and sweaty in these.” I pointed at the plastic pants. “Can I please have my diapers back?” “No, we are potty training you.” My watch beeped again and I realized I had to pee really bad, but I didn’t care. “Beth, it’s time to use the toilet.” “No,” I said. I wanted my diapers back. Violet cared for me when I was in diapers. Now she was being mean. Maybe if I kept having accidents, Violet would be forced to diaper me. I relaxed and wet myself. “Beth, stop,” she said, but it was too late. I couldn’t stop until my bladder was empty. Wetting in training pants with plastic pants over them is not like wetting a diaper. The panties soaked up some of the pee, but most of it pooled in the crotch of the plastic pants. Violet pulled up my skirt and looked at the pee in the bottom of my plastic pants. She glared at me. “I know you did that on purpose. I should give you a spanking.” I started to cry. I was being a brat and I had crossed the line. This was where the beatings would begin. I still had to beg. “I’m sorry,” I said. I turned around and bent down to grab my ankles. I closed my eyes. Violet touched my shoulder gently and pulled me to a standing position. “You seem used to spankings,” she said. “Come on.” She led me to the kitchen and had me sit in one of the chairs. Of course the puddle washed over a different area of my crotch. “Is there anything I can do to make potty training easier for you?” she asked. “You’ve been miserable since you’ve been out of diapers. The only time I’ve seen you happy is the last couple of days.” “I feel loved when I am diapered. You just yell at me whenever I either had to wear panties or with this torture device.” I pointed down to my plastic pants. They were getting hot and it was pretty humid in there with all the pee I was sitting in. I looked her in the face. “I know I deserve a spanking for wetting on purpose, but I’ve really gotten used to being your baby and no one hits a diapered baby. I guess I don’t want to give up the diapers because I know the beatings will continue.” I started to cry. Violet pulled me closer to her and gave me a hug. She rubbed my back while I cried. “No one is going to hit you, baby. Don’t cry.” It took a few minutes for me to get back under control and then Violet and I talked for a while as I told her my fears and everything that bothered me. “Thanks for reassuring me, mommy,” I said. “I am ready to have my diaper change.” “Beth baby, we still need to get you potty trained. I’m still your mommy, but I need you to try to be a big girl for me. Besides, you don’t want to wear diapers to school, do you?” “No, I don’t,” I said. “I still want to be your baby though and these plastic pants are hot and I’m sitting in a pool of pee.” “Yeah, let’s get you some new underpants on and we’ll try potty training again,” she said. ### I hobbled into the bathroom at the mall and came to a stop right in front of the stall. “Dammit,” I said. Pee soaked my training pants, but the plastic pants kept it from staining my light blue pants. That would have been obvious. “What’s wrong? Why did you stop?” Violet gave me a concerned look. I had made it to the toilet most of the time at home, but when we went out, I had an accident at least two out of three times. It was humiliating. The watch Violet gave me had worked toward strengthening my bladder, but it did so at the cost of my dignity. “What do you think?” I asked. “I had another accident. I am never going to make it to be accident free before school starts.” “Nonsense,” said Violet. “It’s been only two months and you have been able to go for over an hour between bathroom visits.” I looked at my watch. It was counting down from an hour and fifteen minutes and I could usually handle that without an accident. Usually. Not when my watch beeped on the other side of the mall and the bathroom was closed for cleaning. If truth be known, if I was actually at college I wouldn’t have waited past the need to go until my watch beeped. I was not going to be courting accidents to that extent. I just wanted to get through class and maybe sip a soda like I usually did. But college was another six weeks away. I still had another month with Violet before I was going to move out and then I would spend the two weeks before college settling in to my new apartment, if I could find one. I couldn’t afford much. I knew I didn’t want to live in the dorms, since I still couldn’t master the bedwetting. “Do we have my diaper bag in the car?” I asked Violet. “No, we don’t,” she said. “Just try to go to the bathroom and clean yourself.” I went in and all I could really do is dump the pools of pee from the inside of my plastic pants and wipe them with toilet paper. I pulled back up my wet training pants and then pulled the now dried plastic pants back up and then rearranged my clothing. I felt uncomfortable. The pee in the training pants had time to cool and I knew from experience that I would have to sit in the hot car and sweat. Sweating was much worse in wet panties than in dry and I would have a miserable time until we got home. I came out of the stall and Violet looked at me. “We got to go to Barnes and Noble next,” said Violet. “I promised I would pick up some of Jeff’s shopping.” “Can’t we go home?” I asked. “I’m uncomfortable.” “I think that is a good motivator for you to learn to control yourself,” said Violet. I sighed and followed her out of the ladies room. We walked toward the book store, a place I normally loved to go, but I rather wanted to put on dry pants a little more. We were halfway there when we Sylvia came up to me. “Hi, Beth. Are you okay?” “Sylvia!” I said and gave her a hug. I turned to Violet. “This is my old roommate Sylvia.” “Nice to meet, you. I am Violet.” She put her hand out, but Sylvia ignored it. “Oh, you are the one who is using Beth. I am not happy about how you are treating her.” “Stop,” I said. “Violet treats me fine.” She lowered her voice. “She has you wearing diapers and threatening that she will send you to jail if you don’t agree.” “It’s not like that,” I said. Violet looked at me. “Your friend knows about this?” She looked at Sylvia. “Let’s get a bite to eat in the food court and I try to explain.” She took my hand and we went to eat. ### “...and so we are sending Beth to college in the fall to complete her education. She has been wonderful to me and I really love her and want to make it up to her.” Sylvia looked a little placated. Violet had admitted she had used me and I was vulnerable since I only truly felt love while diapered and associated the two. “I’d want to take her home with me and I’ll make sure no one hurts her,” said Sylvia. “I believe your story, but I think she is safer living with me. I have an extra room and live near the college.” Violet looked at me. A tear ran down her cheek. However, she didn’t waver when she spoke. “I don’t know that making her live with you is better than her staying with me. I am working on getting her ready for school again. She has a little problem we have yet to overcome and we need another month. However, by then she will start school.” They were both arguing over me like I wasn’t there. My crotch and hips and everything under my plastic pants were hot and the peed in panties against my skin didn’t help. I wanted to go home and have a bath. However Violet added something important to the conversation. “Maybe we should find out what Beth wants.” Both women looked at me. “Um,” I started to say. I loved both Sylvia and Violet, but I thought Violet had a better chance of making sure I strengthened my bladder before college. I looked at Sylvia. “I really miss living with you, but I need to stay with Jeff and Violet a little longer. Can I wait to move in with you on the first of August? I need a place to stay during college, if you have room for me.” “Of course I have room for you,” said Sylvia. “I’ll be working during the day, but my apartment is a two bedroom and I have plenty of room for you. I wish you could stay earlier though.” “I can’t,” I said. “I need to enjoy the little bit of time I have left with my mommy before I go live with you. I’ll be safe. I never have felt unsafe with them.” “She’s like my daughter,” said Violet. She looked at Sylvia. “I want you to keep her safe. I only found out a few weeks ago, but Beth’s old boyfriend hit her. I want you to make sure she stays away from people like that.” Sylvia’s lips curled. “That won’t be a problem.” My watch beeped and I got up and walked toward the food court bathrooms. Sylvia followed me. I went in and used the stall and peed in the toilet. Something was going right at least.” “Did that woman let you stop wearing diapers?” asked Sylvia when I came out of the bathroom. “Yeah,” I said. “My bladder is a little weaker now but we’ve spent the last two months with bladder strengthening exercises.” “What is that?” she asked. I explained. She was angry at Violet again, but I calmed her and said it was all right. She squeezed me into a hug and we then left the bathroom to rejoin Violet. ### By the time Violet and I left the mall and got home, I was cranky. I had sat in wet panties for over three hours and wanted nothing more than a bath and a change. We got home and I got my bath, but when it was over, she got a diaper. “Why a diaper?” I asked. “It’s time for a nap, you are being crabby.” It was true, but I’d had a tired day. I was ready to sleep. ### I hurried into the restroom and pulled down my jeans and thick training pants and sat down and peed. I looked at the watch. It had been two and a half hours since I last peed and that was with all the soda I was sucking down in the restaurant. I was doing better than when I started to live with Violet. I returned to our table and Jeff smiled at me. “Our house is going to be so empty without you. I will have no one to discuss books with or watch fantasy shows on HBO.” Violet smiled. Her belly was a lot rounder since she was almost halfway through her pregnancy. “Oh, I think your house is going to fill up before you notice,” I said. “Violet is a wonderful mommy and I think any baby would be lucky to be with you two.” “Thank you, Beth,” said Violet. “We will both miss you so much.” “Well, I’ll be back for Thanksgiving,” I said. “And Christmas.” “You better,” said Jeff. We celebrated a bit more before we finally went home. The next day was moving day. Chapter Twenty: The Clock Starts and Beth Moves out “Wake up, Beth,” said Violet. I sat up a little in bed, and saw Violet. She smiled at me. “Is it time to move yet?” “Not yet. We got a busy day. First we got to go to the Luther’s for the meeting and then we have to get you some school supplies. We have a busy day, so hurry and take your shower.” I showered and then put on some clean training pants. I was about to go back to my room and get dressed when Violet met me. She held a diaper in her hands. “I’m hurrying,” I said. “The Luthers still think you are brain damaged,” she said. “One last day in diapers won’t hurt. Just lie on the bed.” I lay on the bed and let Violet diaper me. It might be my last time to ever be diapered by Violet, so I lay down and closed my eyes and let her change me. I sat up and groaned when I saw my outfit. It was the light blue overalls. I hated the overalls. Without my Victoria’s Secret pushup bras, I looked pretty flat with overalls. However, I was going to be her baby one last day and I had to make it work. I grabbed my diaper bag and put my book inside and we went out to the car to see the Luthers. ### The path up to the house was short, but Mrs Luther opened the door and smiled at me. “Hi, Beth,” she said. I gave a halfhearted wave. “Oh, you understand me,” she said. “Can you say hi?” I just looked at her. “Beth is still non-verbal, but the doctor helped her make her needs known,” said Violet. “She can let me know if she needs a clean diaper or if she is hungry.” “I bet that is nice,” she said. I ignored her and we went into the house. “Lillie is not here yet,” Mrs. Luther said. “Do you think Beth can sit still until snacks?” “I think Beth can control herself a little bit,” said Violet. She sat me down on the floor and took a seat on the couch behind me. The boring meeting began. I spent my time looking at the clock. It was still stuck at 9:30, but that was far too late as it was still morning. I frowned. The stupid clock just sat there without moving. It was my last day at the Luther’s house, but I was not going to leave until I wound the clock. Acting like a toddler was bad because no adult would sit by and let me wind it. The women droned on and on about this and that. Then soon the topic of the conversation drifted to me. “You’ll have your hands full with the new baby and Beth. Are you ready to have two in diapers?” Violet smiled. “I’m trying to potty train Beth.” “How’s that working? Can she even learn anything?” Violet’s smile left her. “Well actually, it seems I have set her back a bit in her healing process. The doctor suggested a special school for her, so she might be able to function at a higher level. She said a few words so far, and we think she might regain some function.” “So where is the school?” one of the ladies asked. Violet gave a town name and then got a sad look on her face. “Jeff and I are going to take her there tonight. I sure will miss her.” “Beth, are you looking forward to school?” asked Mabel. I looked at her and smiled. Then I proceeded to wet my diaper. It had been two and a half hours, so I thought I had been doing well. “Well let’s get some refreshments,” said Mrs. Luther. Everyone filed out of the living room toward the kitchen. I remained seated in front of the couch. Now was my chance. I crawled toward the clock and opened the door. The three weights were in the bottom of the clock. I stood and then pulled the chain on the first clock until the weight came to the top of the clock. Then I pulled the next chain up and I got the third pulled to the top without incident. Finally, I gave the pendulum a little push and the clock started tic-tocking. I winced as the clock struck 9:30. Someone was bound to hear. I had little time to set the time and I opened the door on the clock face and started turning the hands. Everytime I passed a strike point, the clock chimed and I waited, but finally got it set at 11:55 just as Mrs. Luther came in. “Oh, Beth, the clock is not a toy.” She came up to me and pulled me back gently and then shut the doors on the clock face and the door underneath where you wind it. “My husband built that clock before he died. It stopped working a while back, but I’m going to have it fixed some day.” She took me by the hand and led me to the kitchen. “What happened, April?” asked Mabel. “Beth was trying to get into the clock again. She is fascinated by it. Every time she is here, I have to keep her from it.” I was angry. I had just started the clock and it seemed to be running okay. Did the woman not know you have to wind a clock if you want it to work? Violet walked from the hall from the bathroom. “I swear when you are pregnant, you have to go ever half hour. What’s all the excitement?” “Beth was playing with the clock again.” “She didn’t break it?” asked Violet. “It’s been broken for two years,” said Mrs. Luther. “It broke the same week that Henry died.” Suddenly the clock struck twelve. I looked at the digital clock on the VCR and it said twelve as well. Mabel and Mrs. Luther both turned to look at the clock. “Well maybe she jarred something that had stopped the clock,” said Mabel. “That’s probably it,” said Mrs. Luther. “Well let’s have refreshments.” Violet glared at me. “What did you do to that clock?” she whispered. “I just wound it and set it to the correct time,” I said. “Well, don’t do anything else miraculous today.” “Sure,” I said. We entered the kitchen and Violet gave me my milk and cookie. I sat by myself and ate it while Violet gossiped with the ladies. ### “Beth,” said a familiar voice. I looked and saw it was Lillie. She was smiling. “I get to see you once more, sweetie. Aunt Mabel tells me you are going away to a school for handicap people.” I just ate my cookie. “Well let’s go to the bedroom while the boring ladies have their meeting,” she said. I followed her into the bedroom. I hoped she would read Hunger Games, but she had some sappy book about a vampire high school. I frowned when she started to read it. It was almost worse than Twilight. For one it was like jumping on the bandwagon of vampire books and for another it was bad. At least the writing was better. However, I was bored and saw her open bag with the Hunger Games book on top. I reached for the bag and dumped the contents out accidently. Aside from the book was a purple diaper and a plastic bag, along with a few notebooks and another book in her Vampire series. “Beth, you made a mess,” she said. She started to pick up the stuff from her bag. I reached for the Hunger Games book and held it as I watched her pack her bag. She picked up the plastic bag and started to put it away when I realized that there was a used wet diaper in it. I certainly hadn’t worn that diaper. While she was bending down, her shirt rode up a bit and I saw a thin outline of purple above the waistline of her jeans. Lillie was wearing a diaper. I just had to figure out how to use that to my advantage. I picked up the Vampire book and put it in the bag and handed her the Hunger Games book. Lillie sighed, but she opened to the spot that she had left off earlier and read to me until time to go. ### “Beth,” said Sylvia as soon as she saw me at her door. She squeezed me into a hug and I almost wet my thick training pants from the pressure. She released me before I had an accident and then let me go as she saw Jeff and Violet coming up the stairs with some boxes. “Beth, we got a few more boxes in the car,” said Violet. “We’ll get you settled in,” she said. “Well, let me show you your room,” said Sylvia. She led me back down the hallway to a bedroom and opened the door. I peered inside. The room was furnished, but simple. My bed was there from when Sylvia and I were roommates and so was my dresser. She also added a desk and a chair. “Wow, you kept my bed,” I said. I looked at the position of the furniture and smiled at her. “May I please move the bed against the wall?” Violet started to look embarrassed, but Sylvia smiled. “Of course. You were always weird about that. Let’s move things.” Together we pushed the bed the couple of feet away toward the wall. Jeff had opened my box and was hanging my clothes in the closet and Violet was stocking my dresser drawers with my other clothes. I just stood there, helpless, because Violet was still treating me like a child. However, since all my clothes were the ones Violet had bought for me, that didn’t take long. Sylvia smiled and I turned to her. “Do you still have all those Xena episodes you recorded? I remember we had so much fun watching them.” Sylvia smiled. “Not anymore. I don’t even have a VCR anymore. Got Xena on DVD though. I like that better because the captioning actually works.” “Cool,” I said. Jeff and Violet came back up the stairs with the remaining two boxes. “Where do you want your supplies?” asked Violet. I felt my face get warm. “Put them on the floor of my closet.” “Okay, we got to go,” said Jeff. He smiled at me. “Thanks for staying with us.” “Thanks for letting me live with you,” I said. I waved goodbye as Jeff and Violet left me. Sylvia stood beside me and smiled. “Supplies?” asked Sylvia. “She left you diapers, didn’t she?” My face burned with embarrassment. “They are just for at night. Soon I won’t need them for that anymore.” “Calm down,” she said. “No one is going to dictate your wardrobe. You can wear what you want. Peter’s not here to make you dress like a stripper and Violet is not here to make you dress like a baby.” “I am a college student and will dress like that again,” I said. She rubbed my head. “I kind of miss the long hair.” “Me too,” I said, “but it is already starting to grow. “Well, let’s put in a Xena DVD and relax for the rest of the evening. “That sounds, fun,” I said. We took our seats on the couch and I felt like my life was slowly getting back together. I just needed a boyfriend. Chapter Twenty-ONe: The Date Sylvia was at work and I had a whole other week until classes started. During the previous days since I had moved in, I was catching up on Xena episodes. Today I was lazy. I slept until eleven and then just got out of bed and sat in front of the TV. I ate cereal for meals and didn’t even change out of last night’s diaper. I was being disgusting and I knew it, but I wasn’t going anywhere and I was home by myself. I thought I would be dressed before Sylvia got home, but I kind of lost track of time. “Beth, why aren’t you dressed?” She walked up to me and looked down. “Are you still in a wet diaper?” “Um, I woke up wet. I’m not using the diaper during the day.” “Well go change, and don’t wear those toddler panties you wear,” she said. “I’m tired of you sitting around being lazy all day. You need to do something more than sitting around the house. Have you even gotten your books yet?” “I bought the books,” I said. “And why do you care what panties I wear anyway.” “I am tired of you just sitting around here, so I set you up on a blind date. He will be here to pick you up in an hour, so get dressed.” “A blind date? I can’t go on a date.” “It’s too late to cancel. Go.” She pushed me toward the bathroom and I started getting undressed. The t-shirt came off and so did my diaper. A quick look in the mirror showed me my short hair was matted against one side of my head where I slept on it. I jumped in the shower and cleaned myself. Since there was a date involved, I started shaving, being careful not to knick the backs of my knees. Once presentable I dried off, wrapped my towel around myself, and went to my room. Sylvia was waiting for me with clothes on my bed. I saw the Victoria’s Secret stuff she had picked out for me and blushed, but put them on and then pulled on the black dress we had gotten at a trip to the mall earlier in the week. Once dressed, she started on my makeup. It was amazing how different a little makeup makes you look and a quick look in the mirror showed that I looked my old self again. “So tell me about this guy you are setting me up with. He won’t hit me, I hope?” “He’d better not,” she said. “Actually this guy is very gentle. He’s also going to the medical school at the university. Don’t you want to date a doctor?” “Yeah, I’d like that.” A doctor. Well, he obviously wasn’t a doctor yet, but he would be someday. “I’m just not sure a doctor would want to date me.” “Oh, of course a doctor would want to date you. Just make sure you don’t spend the night. You don’t want to pee on him.” “Hey,” I said. “I’m starting to have dry nights. Soon, I will be out of diapers for good.” “Not if you sit around in them until five o’clock in the evening.” “I was being irresponsible, but I won’t do that anymore, I guess.” The doorbell rang and Sylvia smiled. “He’s here.” We went to the door and when the Sylvia opened it, I smiled. “Hi,” I said and looked at my date. It was Carlos from the medical supply store. The one where Violet bought my diapers and where I pretended to be brain damaged and incontinent. I hoped he wouldn’t recognize me with the makeup. “Beth?” he asked. “You two know each other?” asked Sylvia. I turned and ran to my room and shut the door. I was humiliated. I lay face down on my bed and cried into my pillow. ### I don’t know how long I lay there crying, but soon Sylvia opened the door and sat on the edge of my bed. “Don’t cry, Beth,” she said. I sat up and sat beside her and looked down at my feet. “How could you set me up with him? You said he was a doctor. He really works at the place Violet bought my diapers from. He thinks I took a tumble from the balcony at my sorority and have brain damage and incontinence. I’ve never been so humiliated.” “What about when you pooped yourself at the Tupperware meeting?” “Not helping. Besides it was some women’s charity thing and not Tupperware.” “Well Carlos and I talked a bit after you ran in your room and I told him you didn’t need diapers anymore and that you are starting classes again this semester.” “That’s so much better,” I said with a sarcastic reply. “So how long did it take before he thought I was disgusting and left?” “He’s still in the living room waiting for me to get you.” I looked at her with surprise. “I am not going on this date,” I said. “He knows about the diapers. I can’t live this down.” “Nonsense,” she said. “Let’s fix your makeup.” She wiped my face with wipes and then began to apply my makeup again. I kept trying to say I couldn’t possibly date Carlos, that he wouldn’t want anything to do with me after the whole incontinence thing, but she just smiled again. “He likes you, I think.” “I doubt that,” I said. “Let’s go find out,” she said and dragged me out to the living room again. I slowly walked out to the living room again. “I think you two have a lot to talk about and you should do it on your date,” said Sylvia. I looked at Carlos. “Do you really still want to go on this date?” I asked. “I mean the whole point of a blind date is to determine if the other person is undatable or not and you already know that.” “I still want to go out with you tonight,” he said. “Even if the date doesn’t work out, the tickets to the symphony were $36.00 each and I really don’t want to let one ticket go to waste.” He reached down and gently took my hand and led me toward the door. “Have fun,” said Sylvia. “Besides, I want the place to myself until at least midnight.” I gave her my deer-in-headlights look as I was guided toward Carlos’s car. “Nice Jaguar,” I said. “It’s only a 92,” he said. When I am really a doctor I will have a new one.” I sat down in the car and stared at my lap. A quick glance in the side view mirror confirmed that my face wasn’t as red as it felt, but the night was still young. “There are so many things I want to ask you,” he said. “Your roommate said you never had brain damage. I saw the nasty mark on your head. I guessed you suffered a severe concussion at the very least. Is that why you are in diapers.” I sighed. He was going to ask about this and I had to tell him. “I am not in diapers anymore.” I flipped my dress up a bit to prove I was wearing panties, black lacy Victoria’s Secret ones. “The reason I wore the diapers all the time is because of Violet.” I told him my story. By the time I finished, we arrived at the restaurant. “So you’ve been out of diapers at least a month?” he asked. “That sounds about right,” I said. I let him lead me into the restaurant. We made small talk and he actually asked what I thought about things. It was exciting. I was a bit deprived media-wise, so any TV or movie related trivia since after I moved in with Peter was basically non-existent, but we talked about school and what I wanted to do. “So what do you want to do?” I asked. “I know you said doctor, but are you specializing in anything?” “I really want to be a brain surgeon. I want to heal injuries like you had--I mean like you pretended to have.” “Now I feel awful lying to you,” I said. “It’s fine. Just don’t lie to me again,” he said. “I know you’re still in diapers, at least part time.” I looked at him shocked. “Did Sylvia tell you I was still bedwetting?” I hissed so my voice wouldn’t carry in the restaurant. “It’s becoming less and less frequent, I swear.” “She didn’t have to tell me. Your babysitter, Lillie, stopped in this morning and bought some more supplies for you. She has been buying them frequent enough that you would have to be wearing them all the time.” “What?” I asked. “Lillie stopped in this morning and said Violet was busy and she sent her to the store to get some supplies for you.” “But Lillie just watched me that one weekend when you stopped her from lifting my skirt. Are you saying she bought me more supplies? Violet left me with enough to wear one every night for the next three months. Why would Lillie be buying them?” So many things clicked into place. Lillie had been wearing diapers all the time since that weekend. The diapers she kept in her backpack, the time spent alone in her room, even the times she put them on from time to time. However she wasn’t wearing them every time, so that must mean that she doesn’t really need them. She’d been using my situation to cover for her own diaper buys. “Yeah,” he said, “she even dragged a boyfriend with her. He just seemed embarrassed and just complained that she was spending all her time before college started babysitting ‘that retarded woman’ instead of hanging out with him.” I frowned. “I wasn’t playing the part of a retarded person.” “I know,” he said. “Why else would she buy diapers if not for you?” “I think she is wearing them herself,” I said. “That woman embarrassed me all over the place. She thought I was handicapped so I had to play along when she changed me in front of her boyfriend and outed me to the staff at Hot Topic. Violet was discreet and we only played up the handicapped angle when it was impossible to hide the fact that I wore diapers. I’d like to give her an embarrassing moment. Just tell her you know they are for her when she comes to buy them, preferably when her boyfriend is along.” “We try not to embarrass people buying incontinent products at the store,” said Carlos. “I can’t just accuse her of buying them for herself. “Sorry for getting you in the middle of this. I don’t suppose it is possible to forget all about the diapers and pretend all this stuff never happened. I thought you were cute the first time I saw you and it killed me that we met as I was being sized for incontinent products.” He smiled at me. “Sorry about that,” he said. “Speaking of confessions, I thought you were beautiful when you walked in that day. It killed me when your aunt led me to believe you had the problems we thought you did.” “Thanks,” I said. “I wish you would have seen me when I had hair. There was really real head injury that required stitches, so they shaved my head.” I gave a pouty frown. He smiled and reached across the table and brushed my hair with a hand. “It’s starting to grow back.” “I hope so,” I said. “So what are you studying in college this year?” “Electrical engineering,” I said. “I know, it’s pretty nerdy.” I smiled. “I almost would rather take history or English. I managed to get a creative writing course in this semester as an elective.” “Nice. Do you like to write?” “Well, when I was living as Violet’s baby, I could only do one adult thing and that was read novels. Her husband Jeff had a large collection of science fiction books and I grabbed onto those and read during every spare moment. I’ve read enough of them that I think I may be able to do better.” I smiled again. “I have taken physics classes, for example.” “I actually have only read medical books the last couple of years.” He smiled. We finished dinner and then drove to the concert hall. After the awkward diaper conversation in the restaurant, the date began to be a normal date. Well, not quite normal. It was still a first date, so I wasn’t yet called stupid or ugly, and I wasn’t hit when I made a mistake. Carlos was pretty gentle actually and so my expectations were based on my experiences with Peter. I had never been to a symphony before. Peter just listened to classic rock and nothing else was ever allowed on the radio. I used to listen to what I wanted when he wasn’t home, but stopped after forgetting to change the station back one day. There was actually live music and they played classical music. The music started to play and I let him put his arm around me while we listened to the orchestra. After, we left in his car and I smiled. “You know Sylvia is going to want to know everything,” I said. “Well, I’ll never kiss and tell,” he said. “I don’t care about the telling,” I said. “Let’s work on the kissing.” I reached for him, but he guided me back in my seat. “Let’s kiss at my place.” ### My head lay against Carlos’s chest as we lay in bed together. I really felt relaxed even though our love making was quite a workout. “Let’s get some rest,” he said and reached toward the lamp. “Tomorrow I will make you breakfast in bed.” I froze and then when I had my senses back I grabbed the arm he was reaching for the lamp with. “Um, Carlos, I need to get back home. Sylvia will be worried.” “Just call Sylvia and tell her you are spending the night,” he suggested. “Carlos, I--,” I started. “I wet the bed and need a diaper,” I whispered. “You said you didn’t do it every night anymore,” he said. “I don’t know ahead of time if tonight is one of the nights I wet,” I said. “I don’t want to pee on my new boyfriend.” “Did you just call me your boyfriend?” He kissed me which caused us to make out until we were both worn out again. I sat up and then got out of bed and started to pull on my clothes again. “So will you take me home?” He took me by the waist and smiled. “Yes,” he said and gave me a kiss. ### It’s funny how a relationship blossomed from one blind date when I thought we’d never be together. However, I don’t think Carlos would have given me a second date if we hadn’t met during our unusual circumstances. College is the time to grow in your life and try new things. However like anything, an education needs to be complete. I wonder how my life would have been different if I wouldn’t have dropped out of college to be with Peter. The whole relationship with him was a mistake, but if I could change it I don’t think I would. If I never learned the lessons from Peter, I would have graduated much earlier and never been around to meet Carlos. I wouldn’t change that for the world. The diapers? Maybe I wouldn’t give that up either. Sometimes Carlos wants to relive how we first met, only it is he and not Violet that changes me. Besides, even though I promised that the bedwetting would go away, it still happens a couple times a week. At least he doesn’t mind that I have to put on a diaper after we make love. And the fact that Carlos and I are dating at all is a miracle that Sylvia keeps congratulating herself for. Maybe she is right. I may not have trusted men enough to date again after Peter, if she wouldn’t have set up the blind date and I never would have approached Carlos on my own since I knew he knew about my time as a surrogate baby for Violet. The real miracle was that all things worked out in the end. Afterward: A Customer at My College Job I stacked large cases of adult diapers on the shelves at the medical supply store and smiled. There really were a lot of styles and I was mainly a stocker since the position opened up when Carlos couldn’t put as much time in at the store due to his increased studies. The job gave me an income and I didn’t have to rely on Violet and Jeff as much for college money. I really enjoyed the work and no one really said anything about me being a customer there for a while. Carlos and the owner were the only ones who really knew about it, so the secret was safe. However, I was working on Saturday and Carlos was there too, working the counter. Since he was almost a doctor he could answer questions better and he actually knew what all of the products were for. I heard him thank a customer he rang up and then I heard a familiar voice as he dealt with the next customer. “Hi, Carlos. I was sent down here to get some more adult diapers. They’re for Beth.” I peeked around the corner. It was Lillie and her boyfriend. Why he consented to being dragged here was beyond me. However, he was here. “Oh, hi Lillie,” said Carlos. “Will it be the Molicares again? And how is she doing?” “She says a word now and then, but it really isn’t contextual. Violet thought the talking would mean she is ready for potty training, but that didn’t really work. Hence, the reason I am here.” “You spend too much time babysitting that retard,” her boyfriend said. “Well, I’ll have our new stocker get your order for you,” said Carlos. He called in my direction. “Elizabeth, will you get a case of medium Molicares for a customer?” I should mention that I decided to go by Elizabeth since starting college. Beth is too much of a baby name. I don’t really let anyone call me that anymore, except when Carlos and I play in the bedroom, and that is just in certain babyish scenarios. “Sure thing, boss,” I said and grabbed a case of the purple adult diapers that Lillie fell in love with. I came out and set the case on the counter. Her boyfriend stared at me and then recognition suddenly registered in his eyes. “Hey, aren’t you Beth?” he asked. “It’s Elizabeth, but last time I saw you, I wasn’t talking. I’m better now.” “But why are you still...,” he trailed of and looked at Lillie. “Where are you going when you pack a bag and go home to babysit every weekend?” Realization dawned on him and then he got a look of disgust on his face. “Brian?” “I’ll take you home,” he said, “but then we are through.” He looked at her again. “Eww, just eww.” After they left, Carlos smiled at me. “I’ll never leave you,” he said. The End.
  12. The Walk of Shame

    The Walk of Shame My most embarrassing moment stretched out for the whole morning of November 1 when I woke up in the grass lawn of an apartment complex about twelve blocks from where I live. I was still wearing my Silk Spectre costume, but I was missing my shoes, gloves, and stockings. The missing accessories should have been the last thing I noticed because I was also cold and wet. Not only that, but when I sat up, my butt felt something warm and squishy. I felt my bottom and sure enough there was a massive load of poop in my pants. Peeing had made it soft and it some of it has dirtied my thighs. I looked around, but I was alone in the grass and I had none of my things around me. I remembered that I’d taken off my gloves and stockings at the party. I met a really hot guy there too and I had quite a few drinks. After all, it was one of the few times in college I had time to drink with studies and jobs getting in my way. The weekend had been pretty free for once. The front of my costume was clean, but I had also thrown up in the grass, my hair was a ratty mess and not the usual silky brown texture I was used to. My purse, cell phone, and wallet were also gone. I couldn’t call my roommate, I couldn’t use my bus pass, and I couldn’t even take a Kleenex and wipe the poopy brown smears from the inside of my thighs. The only thing I could do was to walk home. Did I also mention I still had to pee? I stood up and walked to the edge of the grass. A few people caught a glance at me and stared. I guess it is not everyday people see a disheveled woman wearing a Halloween costume who has pooped herself. Especially on the day after Halloween. “Just twelve blocks,” I said. I gingerly stepped onto the apartment complex’s gravel driveway and winced as the rocks bit into my bare feet. Each step was like a painful jolt and I remembered the un-sanitized non-Disney version of the Little Mermaid where each step was like knives and daggers. At least she had clean underwear when the Sea Hag gave her legs. I finally made it to the sidewalk and started to walk. It was still residential, but it was a college town and students lived in the various apartments and rental houses in the neighborhood. I thought most of them would be drunkly asleep in their beds, but I saw many of them out. The fact that I saw them meant that they saw me and my face felt flush with embarrassment. A few passing cars honked at me and some guys jeered out their car windows, but most people left me alone. The most terrifying part of my journey was when I got to the busy street dividing the side of the small town where I lived from the side where the party occurred. The busy street was filled with college bars, small stores, and lots of restaurants. I winced as I passed the local bank and saw that it was already 11:05. I shivered under the 50 degree morning and I walked past as quickly as I could while enduring the gazes of the people who were opening up their stores for the day. I had to pee still and I had to stop every ten feet to cross my legs. “Just pee,” a girl my age said. “You’re already a wreck.” I thought about it, but I didn’t want to in front of all those people, but it was starting to spurt out as I walked. As soon as I got past the stores, I stopped holding and I started wetting my pants again. The bottoms of the cotton panties because warm as the pee filled the PVC material of my costume and then began to run in brown and wet rivulets down my leg as it mixed with the mess in between my legs. I continued onward and received a few stares. One girl came out of her house and grinned. “You’re taking the Walk of Shame to a whole new level, aren’t you?” I looked at my feet and saw the brown smears on my legs and just cried some more. “I’m sure that was a nice Watchman costume yesterday evening,” she acknowledged. “Too bad it had to get ruined.” I had wanted to wear it to a comic book convention I was going to that January, but I couldn’t wear it now. My load had stretched the PVC material of the seat of my costume. I had enough leftover material to recreate it, but that was a week of evenings ruined. I don’t know how, but I made it to my front door before I got picked up by the police for drunkenness and I was already anticipating the hot shower I soon would be taking. However, the door was locked and a sign read, “No Candy. Go Away.” I would have to have my roommate let me in and that meant she would see me in the state I was in. I cried again as I knocked on the door. Crying wouldn’t help; I was still wearing poopy panties and had pee streaks down my legs. That is misery. The door opened and my roommate looked me up and down. “What happened to you, Lisa?” she asked. “And where are your keys?” “I pointed down to myself. I need to get cleaned up,” I said. “I lost my purse and I just don’t want to think about it.” “Well, I’m not letting you in here like that,” she said and slammed the door in my face. I stood there speechless. I still had to pee and just let it out again. I turned to sit on the step, but I did not want to sit down and further spread my mess. I tried to think of where else I could go and clean up, when my roommate came from behind the house. “Let’s get you cleaned up,” she said. She led me to the back of our house and I thought she was going to take me in the backdoor, but instead she took me to our patio and told me to strip. I complied and slid out of my ruined Silk Spectre uniform that I had spent so long working on. I stood there in only my messy panties. I didn’t wear a bra because it would show in my costume. “The panties too,” my roommate said. I let them fall on top of my costume and started for the patio door. She caught me by the shoulder and led me back to the grass. “Just stand still,” she said. I heard water running and my roommate held a hose in her hand. She aimed it toward me. “No, it’s fifty out,” I yelled before a stream of ice cold water struck me in the face. I shivered. If my nipples weren’t already hard from the cold, they were now. I shrieked and screamed as the stream of water splashed me all over. She concentrated mostly on my privates and legs, but she gave me a full soaking. “Turn around and bend over,” she said. The cold water washed the last of the poop from my bottom and then she began spraying out my costume and panties. She hung them from the line we use to dry clothes and then she tossed me a towel. I tried to dry off the best I could, but I was shaking so badly from the cold I could hardly manage. She took the towel from me and dried me off. Then she finally led me inside. ### I came out of the bathroom after a long soak in the tub. I still felt miserable, but I wasn’t freezing and better yet, I was no longer poopy. I threw on some sweats and dropped down on the couch to watch some TV. “So, what happened to your purse? For that matter what happened to the rest of your costume?” “I don’t know, Becky,” I said. “I had them at the party, then I met a guy and after that, I woke up outside on the grass. I couldn’t even remember the apartment number where the party was.” She picked up a flyer for a party that was on the coffee table. “Is this it?” I nodded. She picked up her cell phone and started to dial the number. “We’ll go get your stuff,” she said. I took the phone away and pressed the hang-up button. “No, I can’t show my face there.” “Is your school ID in your purse?” she asked. “You need it to take your exam Tuesday. Remember, they did that since Jordan was caught taking an exam for Reuben.” “I was humiliated enough on the walk home,” I said. “I really don’t want to deal with this. Apparently they put me outside after I messed myself. I don’t want to face them again.” She took her phone back and dialed. “Hi is Daren there?” She paused. “My friend left her purse and shoes there last night. Can we stop by and get them?” She listened a bit. “Yeah, like the Silk Spectre,” she said. She listened some more. “Yes I know.” Another pause. “You are really despicable,” she yelled. Another pause. “Yeah, she’ll do it. We’ll be over in an hour.” She hung up. “What did you promise?” I asked. At first she didn’t say anything. Then she started. “He said he wouldn’t let you come over and pick up your stuff unless you...” She paused. “What?” “You have to come over with an adult diaper under your pants or he won’t give you your stuff back.” “What?” I asked, feeling betrayed. “You got to do this if you want to take your test Tuesday,” she said. I took me by the hand and pulled me up. “Let’s go.” ### I was reluctant as we walked into the Walgreens. I thought maybe I should just drop out of college and work at my dad’s Burger King. That would be better than a fashion designer. Well, maybe not, but it would be better than going through this humiliation. I just stared at the floor as Becky led me to the Incontinence section. I didn’t even bother to look at what she selected for me to wear. I just followed her to the cash stand and waited while my purchase was rung up. She, of course paid. As we got back to her car, she opened the back door for me. Usually I rode shotgun when we traveled. I started to sit down. “Lay down on the seat,” she said. She pulled off my sweats and panties and diapered me right there in the parking lot. I argued; I complained; and I swore at her, but she was bigger than me and I was eventually diapered. “You are being terribly ungrateful, Lisa.” She handed me my sweats and I pulled them on. She took my panties and put them in her purse. “You won’t need those,” she said. I got out of the back seat and sat in the front with her as we drove to the apartment complex where I had my accident. She parked and we got out. She went right up to the door and knocked while I tried to look away. The door opened and the guy who I thought to make love to last night was there. He laughed at me, but opened the door for me. His roommates sat on the couch and watched me with interest. “So did you diaper her?” the guy’s roommate asked mine. My face felt very hot. I just wanted to sink through the floor. “She pooped her costume when she got on her knees to go down on him,” his other roommate said. Becky gave me a dirty look, but told the guy, “We did what you said. I diapered her. Will you give her back her stuff?” He nodded. “Yes, but prove she is diapered.” Becky pulled my sweats down to the floor and turned back to the guys. “There,” she said. “Are you satisfied now?” They howled with laughter, but he handed me a box with my purse, my Silk Specter shoes and tights, and my gloves. I put the box down, pulled up my pants, and got my box and fled out the door to Becky’s car. She followed me and we got in, but she didn’t yet drive away. “Make sure everything is there,” she said. I checked my purse and found my wallet with my money still in it, my student ID, and my credit cards all there. Even my netbook was still in my purse. I had forgot about that. My papers that were due Monday were on it and I would have been in trouble if I hadn’t gotten that back. She drove us home and we went back into our house. I carried in my box and she carried in the rest of the adult diapers she had bought for me. “I’m going to the bathroom and taking this diaper off,” I announced. I stopped by my room for a pair of panties but when I came out Becky was standing in front of the bathroom door. “No, no, no,” she said. “I paid good money for those adult diapers. You will be wearing and using them until they are all gone.” She took the skeleton key out of the inside of the bathroom door and used it to lock it from the outside. She pocketed the key and smiled. “But what if I need--“ She held up her hand to shut me up. “Let’s go watch TV.” She turned and walked to the couch. There are only nineteen diapers left. It’d only be about a week.
  13. Redeeming Clara

    Redeeming Clara 1. Hanging Out In a New Body The Halloween party ended and I moved on to my next host. I woke up unable to breathe, my neck on fire from the pain and my feet dangling from the floor. I looked down, my vision skewed by my twisted neck, and saw I was hanging ten feet above the floor. I reached to my neck and I realized my new host had just hung herself. “Clara,” I croaked. “Please get me down.” Clara flew up to get to me. She was still red, but not as red as she was last time. Her wings were bat-like and the wind of her flight buffeted me, sending waves of pain through my neck. She examined the noose and flew up to banister and lowered me to the floor. I untied what looked like an orange extension cord from my neck and straighted my head with a crack. My broken neck healed and I fell to the ground with a squish, but I could breathe. I took deep breaths and exhaled and then my senses were restored to me. For one, I could smell and I smelled and felt the poop in my pants. Clara grinned at me, but her fangs really made her seem more scary than jovial. “She killed herself, or would have if you haven’t jumped in to save her. Humans always poop themselves when they die. Bailey, we go through this every time.” She then held my chin up in her hand and force me to look at her. “Are my horns gone now? I really want to wear my halo again. I make a poor guardian angel for you without it.” “They are smaller, but you are still a demon. ‘Go ahead and kill yourself, Bailey,’ you said. ‘No one likes you anyway,’ you said and then we jumped off the bridge.” Clara frowned. “I thought you’d jump in and save me and then I’d show you what it was like if you were never born. It worked in the movies.” “You are a supernatural being and you get your advice from cheesy Christmas movies. You can’t do that. Besides, this is a Halloween story. And that is why you are now a demon and why I have to jump from body to body like a suicide version of Jonathan Archer.” Clara sighed. “Jonathan Archer is Star Trek. You are thinking Scott Bakula.” I glared at my guardian demon. “Well you know the drill. You got to fix this one.” She pointed at me in my new body. “Remember, we only have until Halloween.” She spun around and with a puff of noxious black smoke, she disappeared. I walked up the stairs to change my pants. I tried the doors until I found a bathroom and then slowly removed my smelly jeans and panties. The jeans were nice Seven jeans and the panties were once nice and silky, but the lump of poop in the seat and the wetness sure did nothing to help them. I dumped the poop in the toilet, threw all the clothes in a heap on the floor and took a long, long shower. Once clean, I looked in the mirror. There was no steam on the mirror which I thought odd. I was naked and my skin was red from the shower heat. Not, as read as Clara’s, but red none-the-less. There was a prominent white ring around my neck from the extension cord. The last thing I wanted was to spend time in a mental hospital and have to wait until next Halloween to move on. Two hosts ago, it took me five years to solve her issues. Her hair was blonde, where my real hair, which I hadn’t seen in twenty years was a mousy brown. I wondered what this girl’s problem was. What could be so bad as to make her want to kill herself? I turned and walked naked throughout the house looking for my bedroom. The house was huge. She was a rich girl. I counted six bedrooms before I found one with Seven jeans in the closet. Clothes from Nordstrom’s and Macy’s abounded. A queen bed sat on a platform by the window and two stairs led down to an area with a desk and computer and another area with a small entertainment system. It wasn’t the master bedroom. That was down the hall and had been large enough to park a Mercedes. I grabbed some clothes and dressed, then ran out to clean up. The clothes from the bathroom quickly went into a hamper in my bedroom. The extension cord went into the garage and then I noticed the yellow puddle in the atrium where I had peed while swaying from the rope. I went to the bathroom and got a towel and was about to come downstairs and wipe it up when I saw a woman standing there looking at the puddle. “Maria, are you having trouble getting to the bathroom again?” She was blonde with gray streaks starting to blend in. It made her seem stately rather than old. I am sure she would have dyed it otherwise. She looked like an older version than my new body. “Um, I…,” I looked at the towel in my hand and then at the woman. “It was just an accident,” I said. The woman turned and picked up a cardboard box. I knelt down to clean up the puddle, but she shook her head. “Let Leticia clean that up. Come on upstairs to your room.” I followed her upstairs and sat on the bed. The woman sat beside me. She started to open the box. “I think that you should start wearing diapers today instead of tomorrow.” I looked around panicked. “Surely, I am too old for diapers. I don’t need them.” The woman looked sad. “Maria, the school complained about your accidents. I had to go to a parent teacher conference about it, This is serious and we only have to do this until we figure out what is wrong.” She pulled out a diaper and stretched it out. “Please take off your pants and panties and let’s get this done now.” The diaper was huge. I had never really been around babies that much and I didn’t know what to expect. But I pulled off my pants and panties to lie on the bed. Clara appeared and just watched me. She was doubled over with laughter. I was getting angry. “Too bad your hosts weren’t diapered.” She then howled with laughter. I was worried the woman would hear. The woman did not seem to notice. She positioned the diaper, poured a bit of powder inside and taped me up. Then she helped me into a sitting position. “It’s not so bad,” she said. “No one at your school will notice a thing.” She picked up my discarded clothes and walked across the room to the hamper. Clara was still rolling on the floor laughing, and the woman just walked through her. She opened the hamper to through my jeans and panties inside. As she opened the lid, her nose wrinkled. She dropped the clothes, but said nothing about the smell of the mess inside other than remark. “I’ll have Leticia do your laundry a day early.” She left me alone with Clara in just a diaper and t-shirt. 2. Off to School With My Guardian Demon I awoke to flapping sounds. Clara’s batwings fanned the sheets off me, leaving me in just a diaper and a shirt. “Hey,” I yelled and grabbed the sheets to cover myself and then reached over to turn on the lights so I could see her. She pointed to the nightstand clock that showed 7:29 am. “You are forgetting that I am a fallen angel.” The clock ticked to 7:30 am and the alarm started blaring. I glared at Clara and then sat up angry. “I hate you,” I said. I threw the sheets back aside and stumbled into the en suite bathroom, pulled off the still-dry diaper and took off my shirt. By the time I took a shower, I was calmed down and ready to get this host over with. I looked in the mirror and got a good look at myself. Maria had blonde hair, but it was straight and thin. She was also very pale. That was a problem because the red rope burn around my neck showed what the girl had tried to do to herself before I was sent to save her. I came back into the bedroom and started looking in the closet. Maria had a lot of clothes, but not much to look at. I looked at the jeans. All of them were baggy mom jeans. The girl was what? A teenager at the very least and she dressed like an old woman. I found a pair of pink pants and a black t-shirt and then found underwear in her drawer. I dressed and looked in the mirror. That nasty red mark on my neck still showed. “Your new mother isn’t going to approve of that outfit,” said Clara. “Why?” I asked. I grabbed the scarf and wrapped it around my neck to hide the mark. “Just wait.” The demon snapped her fingers and the door opened. The mom stood in the doorway. “Wow. You are up already? Usually I have to drag you out of bed.” She looked at my outfit. “You look nice today. I shrugged. “I woke up before my alarm rang and couldn’t get back to sleep.” “Well come down for breakfast. Carlos is going to be surprised when I ask him to put out another plate for you at breakfast.” I went ahead of her out the door and felt at tap at my butt. “You aren’t wearing your new underwear.” “She means your diaper,” said Clara. “I know what she means, Clara,” I said. The mother looked worried. “Who are you talking to?” she asked. I felt panicked. “Um, no one.” “Well, lie down on the bed. I don’t want to send Jimmy to your school to bring you more clothes. Wednesday he had to bring them twice. This needs to stop and that is why the doctor suggested diapers until we figure out what is wrong.” “Fine,” I said and went to lie on the bed. The change done, I pulled my pink pants back up and looked in the mirror. I was surprised the diaper didn’t show. Maybe it was because this was a new butt, but I couldn’t tell if it looked bigger or not. I walked out of my room to the dining room. The dining room was a weird experience. The table looked like it could hold a state dinner. I think there were twenty chairs on each side of the table. The mother took a seat at the end and I sat to her right. Only her place was set. A Hispanic man in a chef’s outfit carried in a silver covered platter and put before her. When he pulled away the cover there were stacks of bacon and a pile of scrambled eggs. He looked at me. “Should I bring some plates for you, Miss Maria?” “Maria actually got out of bed this morning,” said the mother. She had a big smile on her face. Carlos went out the door and returned with a place setting. He then served the food on our plates. I just wolfed down the food. I was starved. I wondered why Maria didn’t always wake for breakfast. It would probably make her more mellow. “What did you do with my daughter?” asked the mother. Was I spotted? I looked to Clara for help. She just shrugged. Carlos stood by the door smiling. The mother smiled too. “I don’t know what it was, but I am glad you are eating again. It’s been almost a month since you lost your appetite. The doctor said he was worried.” So Maria wasn’t eating. This was weird. The last time I was in an anorexic girl, I never felt hungry. I had been starving. I stood. “I am going to get my school stuff,” I said. “Jimmy will bring your car around.” I ran up to my room. “Sweet,” I said. “My own car.” I went through the room and finally found my school bag and opened it up. Everything was there and all the notebooks were organized. My phone lay on the table and I checked it. I didn’t know the pin code, but my fingerprint was all I needed to unlock it. The to do app had all my homework assignments. None of the assignments were finished that were due today. Of course. Maria didn’t need to do her homework because she thought she was committing suicide. And now I had to both figure out what she was learning and then try to get it done before class. I carried my bag downstairs and went out the door to drive to school, but then I was shocked. There wasn’t a sports car which I expected a rich girl to have, but a car that looked like it came out of a movie. There was a man in a black uniform and wearing a visored hat standing next to the car. He held the suicide door open waiting for me to get in. I looked at Clara, but she just flew into the backseat. The man didn’t even flinch as her batwings just passed through his body. I climbed in after her. “Do you have everything for school this time?” asked the man. His nametag said Jimmy. I nodded and he shut the door and walked around to the driver’s seat. He got in and looked back at me. “After I drop you off at school, I’ll deliver your supplies to the school nurse. Go there if you need a change.” I blushed really hard, or I think I did. My face sure felt hot. I reached for my scarf, but thought better of it and put my hands in my lap. I stayed quiet until I got to school. I left for the school building as soon as Jimmy opened the door for me. My meticulously drawn up schedule led me to the right classroom where I sat down. A blonde girl in a cheerleading outfit leaned over my desk. “Pass over the math homework and I might let you in the bathroom today.” “What?” I asked. “Math homework, or you will have pissy pants again today.” She sneered and a few other girls around her giggled. I went through my bag and took out my math book. Inside, a paper said what homework problems to do, but only the first one was complete. “I didn’t finish.” The cheerleader was livid. She grabbed my hair and dragged me out of the classroom. Six other cheerleaders followed in her wake as she pulled me into the bathroom. Two snapped my head back over the sink. Another pulled out a towel and put it over my shirt and then she stuck her fingers in my mouth and pulled it open. A bottle of bottled water was produced and shoved in my mouth, my nose was held and I was forced to drink the liquid. After drinking two bottles of water, I was let up and my mouth was dried with the towel and I was led back to the classroom. By then, the teacher had entered and it was time for class to start. Math class was boring. Since neither the cheerleader or me had completed the homework, we were called upon and I had no clue what I was doing and I was smart. But I forgot how to do a derivative since I didn’t have a smart enough host to take calculus in quite a while. Then all that water hit and I really had to pee. I frowned, and crossed my legs. The diaper didn’t help. But I waited and held it and waited and held it and managed until the bell rang. Then I couldn’t get up soon enough. When I stood I crossed my legs a bit to keep from leaking and then I swiftly walked toward the bathroom. The cheerleader kept up with me and when I got to the door, she put a hand on the door so I couldn’t pull it open. “I really need to use the bathroom, so please move.” She looked at me like I said the stupidest thing ever. “You know the rules. You disobey me and you don’t use the bathroom.” More girls came to use the bathroom, so the cheerleader pulled the door open and let them pass, but her hand grabbed tightly to my wrist. “Let go of me,” I said through clenched teeth. I looked around for Clara , but she was nowhere to be seen. “Sure,” said my tormentor. She pulled me along with her into a new classroom. “I can’t believe you want me to vape with you in the bathroom later. I am a good girl,” she said. The teacher gave me a dirty look. I just sat in a desk. There was no homework in senior English, but it was a bunch of boring poems. I tried to pay attention to the differences between Keats and Shelley, but my need to pee distracted me to no end. Finally I raised my hand. “Maria?” “May I be excused to use the restroom?” The cheerleader put her pen in her mouth and pretended to vape with it. “Have a good vape break, Maria.” The teacher was not amused. “No, Maria, you cannot leave my classroom for you to go vape.” “But I really have to pee.” My pants dug into my bladder. The water was starting to take it’s toll. “You can go after class, Maria.” I sighed and went back to being bored by Keats and Shelley. I was going to pee. Clara came up behind me and started rubbing my shoulders. “Just slowly let it out. Don’t let it out too quickly or you might leak.” I looked at her. “I’m not going to wet my pants,” I whispered. I felt a trickle escape. She rubbed my back. “It’s okay. Just relax.” I closed my eyes and let the inevitable happen. It was so warm. Hot water exploded around my privates and I bit my tongue to keep from moaning in relief. I tried to stay still and listen as my urethra muscles decided to go on strike. I would not give the cheerleader the pleasure of knowing she made me wet in diapers for the first time since I was a baby. Wetness continued to leak out of me until I was empty and I felt the hot blanket of the diaper pressing against my skin. I had just wet my pants in class and I suddenly knew why I was here. Bullying. This was why Maria killed herself. This was why she was wearing diapers. I had the feeling this was not the first time that Maria had wet herself in class. I looked around. The cheerleader was looking at me expectedly. She was staring at my crotch. I looked down, knowing that the wet diaper beneath my clothes had to be obvious, but I really couldn’t tell. But I was still overwhelmed and I just wanted to cry. I never faced anything like this and my punishments for jumping off that bridge with Clara were really bad. I had experienced being shamed, being called a slut, fat, and stupid. There was even one poor girl who killed herself because she was afraid of a math final. That one was easy. I just took and aced the final and moved on to the next body, but this girl—I was at a loss to find the answer and after being force to wear and use a diaper, this affected me as well. I tried to look at the head cheerleader out of the corner of my eyes and caught her looking at my pants. She was probably waiting for me to have an accident. I turned away and ignored her. “Now class,” said the teacher, “for homework you will write a two page story inspired by Bright Star by Keats turn it into class in the morning. That means the beginning of class, Amy.” I looked around for the student that the teacher was pointing out and saw the blushing cheerleader who was tormenting me. Clara raised a finger in a shame, shame motion toward Amy and then giggled. I was too cross to giggle with her. The bell rang and she stopped goofing off as I stood up. Then she was all professional. “Your next class is Physics, but you probably want to divert by the nurses office.” I walked out in the heard of students while Clara carried my schedule and the map of the school. “Let’s stop by a bathroom so I can change,” I said. She pointed at a group of cheerleaders standing by the ladies room door. “Yeah, we are going to the nurse’s.” I let her take my hand and lead me to the nurses office. Clara didn’t even blink as she walked through other students standing beside me, but I kept stopping expecting her to be bounced out of her purposeful passage. I walked into the nurses office and the nurse looked at me. “Oh, Maria, did you have another accident?” “No,” I said and then felt the diaper around me. The hotness had cooled a bit, but I had endured the strange rubbing of my privates with each step. “I just need a change and I can’t manage it myself in the bathroom.” Yes, change me like a baby, I thought. I was at my lowest, even lower than the events that made me jumped of the bridge with Clara. The nurse laid me down on a little cot and then helped me out of my jeans. I then lay down with my eyes closed wishing I was somewhere else. I felt the now familiar rustling of plastic, the too-cool cleansing of the wipe, and then the dry paper feeling of the diaper pulled between my legs. Four tapes held it on my and then I was on my feet, bending over to pull my pants up. I buckled and then frowned at the nurse. “Thanks for the help. I am just overwhelmed by all this.” “No problems. Come to the office any time you need to. Your driver left me a whole bag of incontinence pants for you. I don’t mind helping you. And don’t you think this is better than having to wear your gym shorts as pants three times last week?” I looked down at the floor. Three times in a week? What had happened? She handed me a pink hall pass. “Give this to Mrs. Sullivan so she’ll let you in class.” I grabbed it and let Clara guide me to class. 3. Discovery “What did you get yourself into, Bailey?” I asked as I looked through the lab manual. The boy next to me wore a football jersey with the school colors on it. He looked at me like I was strange. “Who is Bailey? I’m Robbie.” “Sorry, I was just thinking out loud. I am just confused by this lab experiment. I am not even sure where to start.” “Well, we start on the roof.” He picked up a box that was on the table and motioned me to proceed him into the hall. No one else left the classroom. The others had ramps and blocks, springs, pendulums, and balances. I looked at Clara and she nodded. “While you were absorbed in the lab book, the teacher was giving each team their instructions.” “So why do we need to climb up to the roof? Do you remember what happened on that bridge?” “You are talking out loud,” she warned. “You read the experiment,” said Robbie. “We need to throw various objects off the roof and time their decent. Like Galileo did? I didn’t know he threw things off a bridge.” We went to the stairs until they got to the third floor landing. At the top was a ladder set into the wall. The first step was about four feet above the floor. Above, was a trapdoor that was opened. “Are you sure students are supposed to climb up here?” I asked. “We got special permission from the teacher. Go on. I will be behind you to catch you if you fall.” He made his hands into a step and I put a foot in them and stepped up. I caught the stair and his hand touched my butt as I struggled to get to the first step. I got a hold of the step and started to climb. I hoped he didn’t feel the diaper through my pants. We got to the top and then he pulled up the box from a rope behind us. Inside was a giant bell hanging from the center of the room. We walked to an opening and could see quite a bit of the grounds of the school. He took a stopwatch and his notebook and handed me the first object. It was a small metal ball about the size of a baseball. “Is that a cannonball?” ask Clara. “Yes, Maria. Galileo threw cannonballs from the bell tower when he did this experiment. Throw it down and we will time it’s decent.” I shrugged. This was unreal. Schools don’t normally allow such cool things like this. I was so excited I missed that he heard Clara and answered her. I threw the ball from the bell tower. “Two point five seconds,” he said and wrote it down. He handed me a golfball. “Two point five seconds.” A whiffle ball. “Two point five seconds.” A paratrooper toy. I threw down the paratrooper toy. It was just like a regular GI Joe toy, but this one had a plastic parachute. The parachute filled and it went to the ground. “Ten seconds.” He handed me an ostrich feather. “Twenty seconds. That’s the last thing.” “I wish we could through Amy from this tower,” I said. “Bailey, don’t,” said Clara. Robbie smiled. “You right to be mad at her. The whole school knows she had the other cheerleaders keep you out of the bathrooms so you wet yourself. That’s why you are wearing that diaper, isn’t it?” I looked at him with surprise. “Clara, a forgetfulness charm,” I hissed at her. She stood in front of him with her batwings outspread as she reached into her miracle bag. “I won’t tell,” he said. “You got her worried about something.” I waved Clara off. “Go on.” “I don’t know what her deal is. It’s over the line doing that to another student.” He looked longingly at me. “At least you don’t have to date Amy. I’d rather date you because you are smart.” “You are dating Amy?” I asked. “Yes,” he said. “The quarterback of the football team always dates the head cheerleader in high school. That’s what my mother and father say. They were quarterback and head cheerleader in high school.” He shrugged. “Amy sure is dull. AP Physics is the only class I have without Amy. That and football practice, but the cheerleaders are right next to us then.” He took my hand but thought better about it. He looked at me instead. “I’m sorry about the diaper and her making you wet your pants for a whole month straight. He looked down from the bell tower. We better get our experimental items and return to class. We went down the ladder and he helped me to the ground when we got to the third floor landing. We went out the first floor door and picked up our toys. The cannonball and the paratrooper toy were the best. I wondered why this school was so cool, except for an angry cheerleader who made other students wet their pants. Back in class we had to answer our workbook questions. We weren’t allowed to do that part together, so I did it by myself. “Why did the paratrooper and the feather fall at a different time than the other objects?” I put something about air resistance. I finished the paper and turned it in and sat beside Robbie. Just then the bell rang. I started to get up, but everyone else was seated. Robbie looked at me. “It’s just the announcements period.” “That’s right,” I said. We set and gossiped, but then the loudspeaker started to blare. Everyone stood and I stood a second later. Someone lead the Pledge of Allegiance and then we all sat down. “South High Students, this Friday is Halloween and we are too old for trick or treating, and too young for bar-hopping. Instead we are having a high school dance. Wear your most scariest costume and the winning boy and girl will be crowned Halloween King and Queen.” I leaned over and looked at Robbie. “I wish you could take me.” He looked back at me. “I was going to go with Amy...” I shrugged and gave a disappointed look. “...but, why not. It’s not homecoming or prom. Maria, will you be my date for the Halloween dance?” Amy was going to be so mad at me, but Maria deserved this night of fun. What was the worse thing that could happen? “Of course I will go to the Halloween dance with you,” I said. 4. Thrifting I had never been dropped off at a Goodwill in a chauffeured Rolls, but a driver and a blonde body was a new thing for me. “What are we doing here?” asked Clara. She stretched out her bat-wings. Her horns were less prominent today and they were getting smaller and smaller. Soon her halo would fit. “What are we doing here?” asked Jimmy. He straighened his chauffeur's cap and held the door for me. “I am buying a Halloween costume for the dance.” “This is a thrift store. The Halloween store is in the old closed Macy’s at the mall,” said Jimmy. “I don’t want to be a slutty (insert name of occupation).” “You can always be a sexy or trampy (insert name of occupation),” said Clara. “So what are you looking for? Who are you going to be?” asked Jimmy. “I don’t know. Let me look for something.” I walked away from the car and started to look around. The trucker hats were picked over. This was not a very good Goodwill. All the crap was gone. This was a Goodwill in an upscale neighbor hood. However, something did jump out on me. It was a nightgown with an ugly neck. I shrugged, held it up, and it looked like it would fit me. “That looks awful,” said Clara. “What are you going for? Old lady?” I shrugged. “It is ugly, but it looks just like something a Regan from the Exorcist wore.” “Who’s Regan? The President?” It was give or take if Clara would get a pop culture reference. I hoped the other students at school would understand it. That movie came out way before I was born. “It’s a horror movie character about a girl possessed by a demon,” I explained. “Demons are fallen angels. They don’t go around possessing people. Well, not usually. A guardian angel would have to be a really big failure to allow that to happen.” She then blushed. “A bigger failure than me anyway.” I shrugged. “Well, it’s just a movie. That’s what we humans think of when we think of Halloween monsters.” Clara sighed. “Well find out what you need and we can make a costume.” # I had the costume laid out on my bed. Tomorrow was Halloween and I was all ready to leave. Spending the entire week in diapers had been a pain in the butt, aside from Amy being really angry that I wasn’t having public accidents despite her and the other cheerleaders guarding the bathrooms. “So what is the green baby food for?” Clara asked. I looked at Clara. Her batwings were folded and her horns had shrunk to bare nubs, but her skin was still a dark red that highlighted sharp and fierce features. “It’s to stain the nightgown so I look like Regan. Otherwise, I’ll just be a girl who wore her grandmother’s nightie to the school dance.” I walked over the the TV and flicked it on and then got the set top box remote and scrolled through the horror movies. Clara scooted next to me, just as I picked out a movie. We watched the Exocist and then I educated Clara on horror movies. We got through Jason, Freddie, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre before I was a drooling wreck in Clara’s lap where I slept until Halloween morning. # “Wake up, Miss Maria,” said Leticia. “If you want to have breakfast, we start in half an hour.” I had been eating like crazy. I sat up and rubbed my stomach and hoped I wasn’t making Maria fat. “I’ll be down for breakfast. I am just going to have my shower.” I stood up and remembered my nighttime attire, but Leticia only blushed and left. I went into the bathroom to shower. I pulled off my dry diaper I wore to bed and kicked it into the trash and then used the toilet. So far I hadn’t had to poop at school, and I didn’t intend on messing in my new school-time underwear. I through on a bra and my diaper and then went to the closet and chose a black skirt. I had found an orange t-shirt that showed various tools and weapons along with instructions on what to do if there was a zombie apocalypse. That done, I left for school. 5. Halloween Day The halls were festooned with Halloween decorations. Twist of orange and black crepe paper streamed across the halls and around the classroom doors, As I walked past the gymnasium, I saw that it was all decorated for the dance as well. The basketball hoops were cranked up so they were out of the way and orange and black streamers decorated the gym. Tables with confetti ghosts and pumpkins scattered on top surrounded the edge allowing a natural dance floor to form in front of the stage. It was going to be fun tonight. Amy bumped into me outside the math classroom. She pushed me back into a locker. “How are you holding it? I have all the bathrooms guarded, so you can’t use them.” I shrugged. “Maybe your friends aren’t as loyal to you as you thought. Or maybe they don’t have a pee fetish like you who get off on watching other girls pee their panties?” “That bitch Amanda is letting you go. She thinks she can be head cheerleader if I become ineligible because you are getting me zeros on my homework.” “Well she was kind enough to let me use the restroom so I didn’t mess my pants. You are making me very unpopular in this school.” I noticed that I didn’t have any friends. I had been relying on Clara for more and more and I finally realized she replaced any friends I had. We had to finish our mission before I was totally dependent on Clara. I poked me hard in the stomach. “You better start working on my homework. I am going to take care of Amanda.” She left. Math actually went by normally. English was normal too. We had finished with Keats and Shelley and moved on to MacBeth. I learned that wasn’t by coincidence. The teacher that wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom wanted the witches scene from Macbeth to coincide with Halloween. I looked over to wear the cheerleaders sat beside me. Amanda couldn’t sit still and she looked super pale. She wore gray leggings and I knew she had to be regretting that choice. Amy was smiling, but the other cheerleaders were subdued. I think Amy crossed the line by trying to deny Amanda the bathroom. However, I didn’t stay to watch the show. I just moved on to Physics. I made a beeline to Robbie and sat next to him. “We on for tonight?” He smiled. “Of course we are.” “What did Amy say?” I asked. There have been no repercussions about me asking Robbie to the dance. None at all. “Listen,” he said. “I asked you. I didn’t ask Amy and didn’t consult with her. I will pick you up at seven.” “I got a really spooky costume,” I said. “I am going as Tony Romo,” he said. “He is a football player, isn’t he?” I asked. Robbie nodded. “I thought you would go as a scientist or something. You know, from our conversations over the last couple days.” I wondered if his being smart was just a ploy. I hoped him asking me out wasn’t just a ploy. What if he asked me out just to humiliate me and Amy knew it so that is why she was being so quiet about it? “My friends wouldn’t get a science reference.” He then looked at me. “Well except for you.” He smiled at me and then reached over to take my hand under the table, but then folded his hands together and put them in front of him at his spot on the lab table. He didn’t talk to me for the rest of the class period. Boring physics just went on and on. I took notes the best I could and tried to make them readable so that Maria would be able to use them. Finally, the bell rang for lunch. I stood, but Robbie stopped me. “Be sure to be ready at seven. It will be so much fun to have a date that I really like.” He smiled and I smiled back. I ran out the door because I knew I had to pee and I wanted a clean diaper before I had to go eat lunch. I decided to try the bathroom, but was thwarted when I got there. Amanda stood in front of me. She wasn’t wearing her gray leggings. Instead she wore her PE shorts. She pushed me in the chest so I couldn’t get by her. “You aren’t using the bathroom today, especially after you told Amy I let you in.” She looked down. “Amy kept me out of the bathroom in punishment.” I looked at her again. A blue flowing shirt did not match the bright red PE shorts she wore. “Oh my gosh, you wet your pants today.” She gave me an angry look. “Shush.” “I don’t know why we allow Amy to bully us,” I said. “Of course we know why,” said Amanda. “She found your lost cell phone and used it to take the photos that became the sexting scandal. If we don’t play along, she’ll reveal everything, so please do her homework. I should have never let her convince me to let her take those sexy pictures of me. “Which is why I can’t tell on her for making me pee myself all the time,” I said. “Maria, you got to do something. I’m so afraid those pictures will come out and I’ll get…we’ll get put on a list and have to live under an overpass.” Clara looked over at me. “How do you stop a blackmailer?” I shrugged. “I still won’t do her homework,” I said. “So keep peeing yourself then,” said Amanda. I turned and walked toward the nurse’s office. # “So we can’t tell on Amy,” I said, “even if it wouldn’t brand Maria as a snitch, it’s her old phone with the sexing pictures and if Amy thinks she is losing control….” “She’ll arrange for a principal to find the lost phone and realize there are bad pictures on there. Ones that she took, by the way.” I got to the door of the nurse’s office and relaxed as I wet my diaper. I knocked and looked at the nurse as she opened the door. “I had another accident today,” I said. She opened the door, and let me in. “Maria, we got to stop this. The diapers are supposed to be only for just in case. You know you can become dependent on them?” I did not know that. “I couldn’t make it,” I said as I hopped up on the cot in the nurses office. She lifted my skirt and smiled. “The skirt makes it easier,” she said. “I didn’t think about that,” I answered. She quickly changed me and then set me on my way. No one sat with me as I took my lunch in the cafeteria. I sat alone until the bell range before heading to health class. I sat down and then Amy sat next to me. “So are you going to the dance tonight?” she asked. I nodded. “Well be sure you vote my costume as the best, or else.” I frowned. “Are you going to let me in the bathroom at the dance?” I asked. She laughed. “If I have a good time, then so do you.” I sat through health as the teacher droned on and on about cigarette smoking and the dangers of drugs. The day couldn’t end soon enough. I was tempted to call Jimmy and get him to take me home early, but then I thought Maria’s parents might say something about it. 5. The Halloween Dance I wore my frumpy nightgown and strategically spilled green baby food down the front of the gown. I dyed my hair brown and decorated it. with hair gel, being sure to roll around in my pillow before it was quite set up. Eye makeup took some work. I mixed colors to get an ugly greenish skin tone and applied it thickly around my lids and put on red scars on my cheeks. When I was ready, I looked in the mirror. I was no longer Maria. I wasn’t even Bailey. I was Regan and Regan looked so scary. I stood back from the mirror and froze. I wasn’t Regan from the Exorcist. I was Regan in an adult diaper and that wouldn’t do. Not that Regan hadn’t needed one. I had seen the movie. I kicked off the diaper into my trashcan and picked out some underpants from Maria’s drawer. Now I was ready. I would just have to count on Amy’s promise to let me in the bathroom. As I stood outside on the porch and watched for my date, I wondered if it had just been a setup. Robbie wasn’t coming. I turned to go in and when I did, I heard a horrible sound coming from a panel on the wall. I pressed a button to make it stop. The noise stopped and I heard Robbie’s voice. “Open the gate and let me in.” I hit a button that said Gate and it turned green. Jimmy came in the room. “You can call me if you want to go home.” He then smiled. “I think you will have a good time. That is a good Regan costume, by the way. I didn’t know what you were thinking going to Goodwill.” I smiled. It was Halloween night and I knew that I would miss Jimmy. My adventures usually ended on Halloween night and I knew that if I failed to solve Maria’s problem I would end up hanging from her banister a week before Halloween. “Thanks, Jimmy. I will miss you.” The last part I said under my breath. I went outside and my date was there. He wore the full Cowboys regalia except for the helmet and pads. The uniform said Romo on the back and he held a walker in his hands. “I assume that is a football joke,” I said. He looked at me wide-eyed. “My God, Maria. You really do look spooky. Are you going to keep the brown hair?” I didn’t know if Maria would be mad at me or happy that I dyed her hair. I didn’t care, I wanted to go back to my own body. I smiled at him and he leaned in to kiss me. “Make-up,” I squealed. “Oh, yeah,” he said. He opened the door for me and I got inside. “So let’s get to the dance,” said Robbie. “Yeah,” I said. I looked in the mirror and saw Clara sitting behind me in the back seat. She wore nose and eyebrow glasses and I just couldn’t help giggling. It looked so silly with her horns and bat wings. “What’s so funny?” Robbie looked nervous, like I was going to bite or something. “I am just thrilled to be here.” # Robbie was a good dancer, once he left the walker at his table, that is. We danced salsa, swing, and even a bachata number. I danced and danced the night away. It was almost eleven and I didn’t see Amy at all. It felt good not to be around her, but I knew I needed to confront her. My bladder also was beginning to fill. I knew that Robbie knew about the diapers and I knew where his hands had been when we were dancing. He had to know I was wearing panties underneath my nightie. But I enjoyed the punch and free sodas, something I knew Maria hadn’t been able to enjoy lately. I politely excused myself and walked toward the bathroom when Amy burst into the gymnasium. She was dressed like Cinderella, but she was not a happy Disney princess. I had never seen anyone that angry in a princess dress. “Who stole my date for this dance?” she screamed. I tried to edge toward the bathroom, but she blocked the way. “I told you that you could only use the bathroom if I was having a good time.” She raised her voice. “I am not having a good time.” Robbie walked over and stood beside me. “Let her go pee, Amy,” he said. “She didn’t steal your date. I asked her to the dance. I never asked you and you never said anything about this dance to me at all.” “But you are my boyfriend. Everyone knows that we were going to the dance together. Not her.” She pointed at me. “No bathroom for you.” I saw Amanda and Lucy stand behind her, also blocking the bathroom. Amanda mouthed the words, “Get the phone and I will let you in.” Well, this was the confrontation that would determine my future in this body. “Amy, you had your fun making me wet myself. Just give me back my cell phone and I will step aside and let you have Robbie back.” Robbie looked at me with a sad look in his eyes. “I really like you,” I said, “but Amy is your girlfriend. I had a good time though.” Amy pulled a cell phone out of her purse. It was an iPhone 5s, a model earlier than the one Maria now carried. “Maybe it is time to turn this phone into the principal.” “Just give it back and I will do your homework,” I said. I looked at the clock. It was 11:25pm. I had thirty-five minutes to get the cell phone back. “But I like a gold phone. Rose gold never did it for me. I think rose gold looks pink and I hate pink.” “Amy, please,” I said. “You aren’t persuading her,” said Clara. She stood behind me and grabbed me around my waist and began to squeeze. “No, don’t,” I said and Amy looked at me satisfied, but I wasn’t talking to Amy any longer. Clara was squeezing me around my waist over my very full bladder and then her hands went through my body and she squeezed my actual bladder. It was too much. I let go and began to pee. Standing there on the floor. In front of my entire class and everyone at the dance saw. It pooled in a big puddle in between my feet and I stood there peeing as Clara wrung my bladder completely empty. As soon as I stopped I wailed. “Why did you make me do that?” I was talking to Clara, but Amy looked at me in satisfaction. “It’s what you get for stealing my date?” Amy said. “And I am sharing the phone with the principal as well.” “It’s all right,” said Clara, “but I need you to trust me. Let me have control.” “What?” I said and Clara merged her body with mine. I felt so chilled as all the body heat dropped out of me. “Give me back my cell phone,” my voice said. My mouth was moving and my throat felt right, but my voice sounded deep and harsh. Amy held the phone above her head and smiled. “No way, pissy pants.” I felt chilled and I couldn’t move. My body wanted Clara out of me and I felt nauseated. I had guzzled too much green punch and I didn’t pee it all out when I wet. I threw up and couldn’t even kneel to let it out. Instead, Clara moved my chin up and opened my mouth. A stream of vomit flew up and hit the cell phone straight on, knocking it out of Amy’s hand. Clara didn’t stop. All the students scattered back from me except Amy who backed up and tried to reach for the cellphone. I saw them back away from every direction because Clara rotated my head in a 360 degree manner that humans just can’t duplicate. I then faced forward again and spewed again, but what I spewed was not punch or partially digested food. Instead a bat-winged demon flowed out of my mouth and straight through Amy and into the girl’s bathroom. Amy stood over Maria’s cellphone, but she didn’t see it at all. Instead, a second puddle of pee was forming on the floor underneath Amy. A smell wafted into the air as well and Amy stood in shock. “The demon flew into me,” she shuddered out. I turned and bowed to the rest of the students in the audience and smiled, then turned to Amy and leaned down and snatched my cellphone and examined it. It wouldn’t turn on. “Amy, you peed on my cellphone. Now it won’t turn on. I wasn’t really possessed. It’s just special effects because I wanted to win the costume contest.” I turned and looked at Robbie. “I need some more punch.” I changed the pitch of my voice to sound demonic. “This voice makes my throat dry.” He put his arm on my back and guided me to the punch bowl. We then had time for one more dance. The song was Monster Mash, and Robbie and I dance to the Monster Mash together. His hands in mine felt good and warm and I wanted to hold them forever. It was the first Halloween that I actually was not annoyed by the song. The song ended and we went to sit at a table. Amy had to walk by our table to leave the gym. She no longer wore her princess dress. Instead, she wore gym clothes and her hair was wet from the showers. She carried a plastic bag with a dress stuffed inside and walked with her head down. Robbie stopped her. “This ends now, Amy. I don’t want to be with someone that treats others like you treated Maria. We are done.” “Fine,” she said. She looked at me. “You just stay away from me, demon and Robbie, I need someone who is more supportive than you have been.” She stormed out. The mike squealed and the student class president took the stage. “All right fellow classmates, everyone voted and the best boy costume and thus Halloween King is Robbie.” He hobbled up with his walker and Tony Romo shirt and let the class president crown him king. He waved to me from the stage. “And the best girl costume and Halloween Queen is…. Well, let’s put it this way, who else had a costume that made our head cheerleader Amy wet and mess herself. Maria come up here and get your crown.” I walked up to the stage and got my tiara. The class president brushed through my matted hair and placed the crown. She whispered to me. “I am glad you put Amy in her place. Did you delete the sexting pictures? I want the ones of me deleted.” I smiled. “The phone is broken and no one will see anything on it.” She squeezed my hand. “Well now you get to kiss the King.” I turned to Robbie and put my arms around his neck. I pulled close as he pulled me to him. I closed my eyes and our lips were just millimeters apart when a familiar surge went through my body. The clock struck twelve and I began to fall. 6. Aftermath I opened my eyes and felt like I was floating, only I was floating. The ground came rushing up toward me from twenty stories below. I briefly backed out when I hit the ground and came to my reflection in a pile of broken glass. At least I was no longer Maria. I couldn’t move until I finished having my accident. I sighed as I pissed and messed myself. I could look up and see Clara standing over me. Her body was bright red, her horns were much longer, and her batwings more pronounced. “God was pissed. We got to do this for another year now, but it is just fifty-two more Halloween parties in addition to our original punishment. Apparently I am not allowed to do demon possession. Let’s never do that again.” I looked at Clara and nodded as my broken bones knitted together. “Please, let’s never do this again.” The End.
  14. A Visitor to Triton

    A Visitor to Triton by Write And Left I looked across the Manhattan skyline and watched streams of aircars travel at the various levels of the city. “It is good to be back on Earth, Doc,” I said, “but I still miss that girl I met back on Triton.” “Lie down on the couch and tell me about her,” said Dr. Emily Gleeson, the shrink that the Navy forced on me. “Why should I?” I asked. “No one takes me seriously when I talk about her.” I stared at the ceiling and paused. “No one takes me serious at all. Why should I bother if you are not going to take me seriously?” “Just humor me,” she said. She flicked her Tablet with a finger, obviously going through her notes. “Tell me about Alison Randall.” Why not? I thought. I would just tell her everything about the girl I left behind on. Maybe she would believe me. “Well it started back when the Orion stopped by for my regularly scheduled relief...” ### The alarm blared in my quarters. The relief ship was arriving. I had been stationed on Triton for two years and my relief would finally take over so I could return to Earth and go to the next place the Navy wanted to send me. I had requested Mars, the second most populated planet in the solar system. Triton Station had a crew of one: just me. Before the advent of Faster Than Light travel, Triton acted as a way station at the edge of the solar system. The newer FTL ships would blink into and out of existence at the orbit of Saturn, thus they never needed to come way out here. Only the slow boats came to Triton, and as soon as they arrived in the solar system, they upgraded their engines to FTL and never returned to Triton. The only slower than light ships around were those that left before FTL’s invention. Still there were quite a few out there and Earth command wanted someone out here to greet them. Since I was stationed out here, the only ship I had seen was the one that brought me out here to the butt end of the solar system. The Orion was the second ship I saw, but it had come from Earth to relieve me. “USS Orion,” I spoke into the Mike, “this is Triton Station. I look forward to your arrival.” I then waited the two minutes for my message to travel the eighteen million kilometers back and forth to the ship. After the wait the speakers sounded, “Sorry about this, Triton Station, but the ship is in plague status. No personnel may be transferred from our ship to the planet. We are at quarantine. A container of supplies will be dropped to you.” My heart sunk. I was stuck here and I would be alone for who knows how long until the Navy saw fit to send another ship out here. “How much longer am I stuck here?” I asked. “We sent a message to Earth and they sent another ship immediately. Your estimated time of arrival is six months.” I clicked off the radio and swore. There would be another six months of not feeling the breeze on my cheeks. There would be no pizza from Manhattan Pie Company and worst of all, no people to talk to. The loneliness that I had put behind me for the past two years suddenly came to the forefront of my mind. ### “So Alison Randall never arrived on the Orion,” asked my shrink. “Of course not,” I said. “She arrived on the bulk carrier, the SS Fortune.” “Go on with your story then,” she said. ### In the weeks that followed, I became more and more despondent. I was still imprisoned on Neptune’s largest moon for five more months and I was bored. I had watched every holovid, read every text drama on my Tablet, and even went so far as to write my own stories. One night, at exactly midnight, I heard an unexpected alarm. A ship was arriving, but this ship was transmitting a distress signal. Triton Station had one shuttle stationed there and I ran to the shuttle. The message attached to the distress signal said that the ship was rapidly losing air and that they needed help. I wasted no time. The ship was dark; the only light came from the day side of Neptune, but I piloted the shuttle closer and closer. The ship was completely dark. There were no running lights and no indication of anything approaching life, but I continued onward. As I drove the shuttle around the ship, I saw a horrible tear in the hull that went across all five decks of the ship. There would be no survivors unless they were suited or they were trapped in an airtight compartment somewhere. It was a bulk carrier. It is a common enough ship even today. It contained five decks and a spine to which cargo containers were attached. The only difference between it and a modern FTL ship was the massive fusion tanks on the tail end of the ship. Modern ships replaced most of the tank space with an FTL engine. I drove the shuttle around until I found a hatch where I could enter the ship. The only good hatch was on the spine. I set my coffee on the copilot’s seat and went inside to look for survivors. I floated through the spine of the ship and watched for any signs of life. There was air there, but as I walked forward of the spine the hatches all had red pressurization faults. All five decks were airless. Since I couldn’t get to the main hull of the ship, I walked aft. That is when I saw her. “I’m from Triton Station. I am here to rescue you.” She was young, probably in her early twenties, but dirty and disheveled. And she stank like a bad environmental plant and lack of showering. “Everyone else is dead,” she said. I took her by the hand and put her in the co-pilot seat in the shuttle. “I’ll take you back to Triton Station,” I said. “You’ll be safe there.” She was too shocked to say anything else, so I just let her be silent. She had just lost the rest of the crew of her ship. ### Dr Emily was tapping her Tablet and looking up stuff while I talked. I knew she was not just taking notes. “What are you looking up?” “Just reviewing your log for the incident,” she said. “Oh?” “But...,” Dr Emily started to say. She must have thought better of it. “Just finish your story.” ### Alison sat in silence on the way back to the moon’s surface. I thought I saw a tear in her eye, which was only natural since there were no other survivors on her ship. However, the tears were there for another reason. I pulled the shuttle into the dock and went toward the airlock and motioned her to follow me, but she wouldn’t move. “Come on in,” I said. “There is food, clean clothes, and showers.” She gave a sheepish look and then stood up to reveal a circular wet spot on the co-pilot’s chair. Her face turned red as she looked down at her seat. “Um,” she said, “I have trouble getting to the bathroom.” I sighed and we left the shuttle. Once in the passageway, I stooped down and caught a cleaning robot that was rolling along the corridor and took it back into the shuttle with me. I dropped it on the co-pilot’s chair and returned to the passageway. The girl stood there waiting. “I will take you up on that offer of a shower and clean clothes.” “Of course,” I said. I took her to my quarters where the only working shower in the small station was located and motioned her inside. I went back to my bedroom and opened my drawer to look for something for her to wear. I was a bit larger than her, so I just picked a t-shirt, and some shorts for her. The shorts would obviously be big on her, but she cinch the belt tightly around her waist. I slipped into the head and set the clothes on the sink. After that I slipped out. She finished soon after I left. I had never met a woman on Earth who took such short showers, but she was from a space ship and water is scarce, especially on a slow boat traveling between the empty gulf between the stars. When she came out of the head, the T-shirt and shorts looked quite large on her, but she smiled at me. “Thanks,” she said. “Are you ready for dinner?” I asked. She rubbed her stomach. “Are you kidding? I haven’t eaten for three days. I was trapped in the spine of my ship and couldn’t visit the galley or the rest of the ship.” “Well let’s take care of that.” I lead her to the galley and started taking packages out of the boxes of supplies that lined one wall and covered the galley tables. I had emptied the container that was dropped and brought everything inside and just put it along the wall. I pulled out some pre-made chicken cordon bleu and made that. In all I made four servings, figuring that we would probably each eat two. I was hungry too. She took a bite and then began to hungrily shovel in the food. “This is so good,” she said. She paused to take a drink of Kool-aid and then shoveled more into her mouth.” “These are space rations,” I said. “They are not really considered the best of cuisines.” “These are new rations then,” she said, “Our food has to last years and I bet you these would taste bad too if they were in storage for decades, even with the effects of relativity.” “Yes, I guess so,” I agreed. “I don’t think I could stand to be on a ship that long between ports.” “It’s tough,” she said. “I am on my first push out from Epsilon Eridani. We were to go right back after stopping at Earth, but forty years will have passed when it’s only been four years four me. My parents will be in their nineties. The trip after that, I would have been visiting my sister’s great grandchildren. I wanted to be a spacer though and signed on with the first ship that would take me.” “Wow, you must have just left before...,” I started to say. She put down her fork. “Before what?” she asked. “I don’t know if I should tell you, but I will. About twenty years ago ships started getting faster. You could have been home already.” “How fast?” she asked. She picked up her fork again and took another bite. She had a look of relief on her face. “I thought something horrible had happened.” “Faster than light,” I said. “A journey only takes the amount of time needed to go far enough away from the sun and then it is instantaneous.” “How far away?” she asked. “I could get home next year?” “Depending on the spectral type of the sun, it varies. In the solar system it is about ten astronomical units.” I heard a pattering sound coming from beneath her chair as she stared at me open mouthed. I looked down and saw a growing puddle. When she noticed what she did, she looked down and turned bright red. She looked at me. “I’m so embarrassed. What you said took me by surprise.” She stood up and looked down at herself. “I get like this when I am taken by surprise. Perhaps I should be wearing diapers.” I was inclined to agree with her. “What happened on your ship when this happened?” I asked. “It’s just been happening the last couple of weeks. They put me in EVA diapers. I heard they were going to beach me on Earth because of it.” She shuddered. “Well you are pretty much stuck here on Triton until a relief ship comes. We are about twenty astronomical units out from where any ship goes anymore. The only reason we keep Triton open is to support stragglers.” “Stragglers?” she asked. “People like you. Slower than light ships that left before they came home to find out that the universe changed and transportation is faster. Anyway, I have some EVA diapers. You probably should wear them until we find out how often you wet yourself.” She sighed. “Well okay,” she said. “I will.” She got up and I led her to the airlock. There were spacesuits there. Some were for walking across the planet, but others were for fixing ships in space. The station used to be a lot bigger and at one time it was a full support base. Now it was just an outbuilding with a section converted to quarters. The full supply of spacesuits and accessories were there. I opened a cupboard and found a pack of EVA diapers and gave it to her. “Well here you go,” I said. “We can travel quickly throughout the stars, but we can’t figure out a better way to pee while wearing a spacesuit.” “Well that works for me,” she said with a smile. She hurried into my quarters to change. When she emerged she wore only the diaper and the t-shirt. “I can find you another pair of shorts,” I said. “They made me dress like this when I was on the ship,” she said. “I’m used to not wearing pants with diapers.” “Suit yourself,” I said, “but you can still have shorts if you want.” “That’s okay,” she said. “It’s quite warm in here. So what do you guys do for fun around here?” I showed her my Tablet. “You can either read books or watch movies.” I showed her how to access both. ### “So you say you dressed her in EVA diapers and a shirt and she didn’t mind?” asked Dr. Emily. “No she didn’t mind,” I said. “She will testify to that fact, that is, if anyone can find her. No one will tell me what happened to her.” “How about you finish the story.” ### That night (if you can call it night, because the southern hemisphere of Neptune is constantly in daylight) I set her up on one of the couches in the staff lounge. Before going to my quarters to sleep, I showed her where the head was in case she needed to use the restroom in the middle of the night. I made sure she had plenty of blankets and was comfortable before I returned to my quarters to sleep. I woke up later with a soft, warm body pressed up against mine. It was Alison. She was fast asleep, but I woke her up anyway. “What happened?” she asked. She stretched and turned to look at me. I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. “You must have sleep walked or something. You crawled into bed with me.” “Oh, yeah.” She yawned and stretched again. “I couldn’t sleep all alone. The ceiling creaks and the couch is uncomfortable. Besides you are cute. I want to sleep with you.” “What? No,” I said. “Go back to the lounge and sleep on the couch.” “Please,” she said, “just for tonight.” “You’re too young. I’m almost thirty and you...” I paused because I didn’t know how old she was. “...are too young.” “What’s the date?” she asked. I told her. “Well I am almost forty-one,” she said, “and that makes me a cougar, but plenty old enough.” “A cougar?” I asked. “What’s that?” “Nevermind,” she said, “I am plenty old to share your bed. I only look twenty-two because that is my subjective age. My objective age is forty-one. Besides, we are just sleeping.” “Fine,” I said, “but tomorrow night you are going back on the couch.” “Okay,” she said. I turned and went back to sleep. She never did go back to the couch in the five months we waited for the relief ship. ### I woke up late the next day. Alison was gone. I figured she was in the bathroom, but I didn’t hear water running. I got up and went inside and looked around. She wasn’t there. I wondered where she could have gone. I was about going to do a tour of the station, but then I heard a thumping sound coming from the galley. I raced to that compartment to see if she was okay. She was standing on counter wearing just her EVA diaper and t-shirt. She held a bunch of food containers and was stacking them in the cupboards. “What are you doing?” I asked. She pointed to the row of cartons stacked along one of the walls of the galley and stacked on the tables. “I am stowing the supplies,” she said. “I am also rotating the stock here. We might have to stretch the food a bit since we have two people here and your planners only planned to supply the base for one.” “There is plenty here,” I said. “I agree,” she said, “but I didn’t find that out until I started to inventory the food. Although if worse comes to worse and we are out here longer without resupply, we can take the shuttle back up to the Fortune and raid the galley there. You got proper suits and stuff and according to the chart, the Fortune is in a stable orbit of Neptune.” I looked around. She made a lot of progress on unpacking the food supplies. “You’ve thought quite a bit about this,” I said. She reached for my hand, which I took, and then jumped from the counter. “Of course,” she said. “I also should try to earn my keep.” I was please her restocking effort, but I also felt a little guilty for not doing it myself. It was not like there was anything else for me to do and I was required to restock instead of letting the supplies sit in the hallway. The only thing I had done besides parking the dry goods on the tables and against the wall was pulling the pallet of frozen goods into the freezer. ### That evening we ate a feast. The proper ingredients were easier to find and Alison gave the meal a woman’s touch. We even had a salad before the meal and she had crawled through the frozen foods to find some ice cream for dessert. She stuck her fork in the lettuce and held it up. “This is pretty good,” she said. “Where do you get green lettuce?” “Um,” I said, “all lettuce is green. That is how it grows on Earth, except there it is greener and not freeze-dried.” “Lettuce is black on Epsilon Eridani III. Most plants are black there. You can only see the amazing color patterns if you wear infrared glasses. Most animals and insects see in infrared on Eridani III, so no plants are really colorful to humans.” “Sounds depressing,” I said. “Well, I grew up that way. How much difference can colorful plants make?” she asked. “Women like to get colorful flowers,” I said. “In fact my wife used to love it when I brought her flowers, especially when there wasn’t a holiday. I brought them to her because I loved her.” A wave of disappointment washed across Alison’s face. “You’re married?” “She died in an aircar accident,” I whispered. It was all I could do not to cry. “We argued the last time she and I spoke, and now she is gone.” “I’m so sorry,” said Alison. She paused for a moment, but apparently thought it was okay to say what she was going to say. “I know how you feel. I argued with my parents before I left on the Fortune. With time dilation, I thought I wouldn’t see them again. I don’t know what happened to them or anyone else I left behind. I felt guilty about it for the whole trip to Earth. That’s probably the reason I started wetting.” “But now you can go back home in about six months and see them within the year,” I said. “That’s true, but Mom and Dad are almost seventy. I hope they are still around when I visit again.” We finished the meal and by the time we started on dessert, the conversations had moved to lighter subjects. “They usually just spray paint the leaves of existing trees and flowers when they do movie scenes that are set on Earth,” she said. “Of course now with FTL, they can now bring real Earth plant seeds to use in sets.” “They’ll probably need to use special lights if they want them to grow,” I said. Suddenly an awful smell filled the air. I wrinkled my nose and then looked around for the source of the smell. “Oops,” said Alison. Her face turned red and she smiled slyly. “You didn’t?” I said astonished. She took one last bite of her dessert and then stood up. “I’ll go shower,” she said. She turned and waddled away with an obvious bulge in the back of her EVA diaper. ### The next day I caught her in a wet diaper. “Alison,” I asked, “are you trying to get to the bathroom on time?” “I am wearing a diaper,” she said. “I don’t really need to worry about getting up to use the restroom. Besides you don’t tease me like the other crewmembers of the Fortune.” I sighed. “You know you can become dependent on diapers if you don’t try to avoid accidents. You don’t really want to deal with diapers when you get to the beach on Earth and want to wear a bikini.” She nodded. “You are being nice about this. I still might have accidents, but I promise I’ll try to make it to the bathroom.” “Good,” I said. “That is all I ask.” After that she made more of an effort to get to the bathroom. She still used her diapers at night when she was in bed, but I didn’t notice her sitting in a wet diaper as often during the day. ### When we had been together for almost five months, the incoming ship alarm went off. I raced to the control room and Alison followed behind. “What’s that sound?” she asked. “Our ticket to Earth,” I said. “We can tow your ship back to Earth so you can sell your cargo and then arrange passage back to Eridani. You might even make enough on your cargo to buy an FTL drive for your ship, make repairs, and head back home to see your parents.” “I’ll believe that when I see it,” she said. I picked up the mike. “Gemini, this is Triton Station. Please state your ETA and intentions.” I waited for the time for the round trip communication. “This is Gemini. ETA is six days and our intentions are resupply and relief for station personnel,” the voice from the speaker said. “There is a straggler ship in orbit around Neptune,” I said. “Will a trip to tow it back to the inner system be possible,” I asked. “The ship’s hull was breached and most of the crew were killed, but one surviving crewperson was evacuated to the station. Will passage for her be possible?” I waited for the communication lag again. “Yes,” said the transmission from Gemini, “we’ll clear some room for an additional passenger.” “Here that?” I said as I turned to Alison. “I told you they would...” My voice trailed off. Alison was gone. ### “None of the crew of Gemini could find any trace she was on the station at all,” said Dr Emily Gleeson. “Why do you think that is?” “I don’t know. She had to be on the station somewhere. No space suits were missing and the shuttle was the same way I left it when we arrived from the Fortune,” I said. “Where was there to hide on the station?” she asked. “Never mind. Please finish your story.” ### In the final week when I was awaiting the arrival of the relief ship Gemini, I search the station from top to bottom looking for her. She was nowhere to be found. I searched the galley, the lounge, my quarters, the restrooms, and even the sanitary tank reservoirs. The latter was the most disgusting place to look, but I didn’t care. I had to find her. I then checked the shuttle. It was in its slip and it was empty. The cleaning bot I had put on the chair had even cleaned Alison’s pee stain. It was still trapped in the immaculately cleaned shuttle and fled through the door as soon as I had opened it. Obviously no one used the shuttles. I also checked out the suit lockers. All the suits were accounted for. I suddenly had a horrible thought. I quickly readied a suit and put it on. I then exited the station through the only airlock in that building. What if she had left without a suit? I walked all around the station, even though I knew she couldn’t make it ten feet without a space suit. Triton’s outdoor temperature was almost 400 below zero on the Fahrenheit scale. I finally went back inside. The crew of the Gemini found no sign of her either. Finally, I had to get on the ship and go home alone. Instead of going to Mars I was sent straight to Earth. ### “So what is the official story about where she went?” I asked. “She never existed,” said Dr Emily. “You made her up.” “But she was there. I saw her. If she didn’t exist, then who put away the supplies? Who did the deep cleaning of the station? Who did I talk to for almost five months?” It was a ridiculous idea the Alison Randall did not exist. “I suppose you are going to say that the SS Fortune doesn’t exist.” “No,” said Dr. Emily, “I’m not. I am going to say that Alison Randall never came down from the Fortune once you saw her.” She pushed a button and a wall panel moved aside revealing a view screen. “Watch the view screen.” A camera moved around the inside of the SS Fortune. The floating camera came to a door that said, “Spine.” An arm reached up and opened the door to reveal another airless compartment beyond. Inside a body floated. The figure was frozen in the moment that air had escaped the compartment. She was trying to pull on a space suit but hadn’t got it pulled up higher than her legs. She only wore a t-shirt and an EVA diaper. “They all died two months before they reached Neptunes orbit. That’s Alison Randall floating there. She was dead all along. Your brain pulled her image off out and used her so you wouldn’t have to think about your loneliness.” “It can’t be,” I said. “Who wet the co-pilot’s seat in the shuttle? Surely the video log in the shuttle caught that.” “It did,” said Dr. Emily. “It showed you knocking your coffee over onto the co-pilot’s chair.” She pulled up another screen and I saw the coffee cup fall over and create a circular wet spot on the chair. “No,” I said. “It’s not her.” I pointed to the other view screen. “That is some other girl. Alison came back to the station with me.” “Look,” said Dr. Emily. The body rotated until I could see her from the front. The nametag area of her shirt said Alison Randell. She looked the same as Alison, but her skin was a bluish shade. She almost looked like the way my wife when they dragged her body from the crashed aircar. I felt empty then and I felt just as empty now.
  15. The Naughty Couple!

    Let me tell you an almost true story! Me and my wife had been married for years. Our kids were all grown. We still loved each other but sex had gone out the window when the kids were growing up. Life happened you know busy, busy, busy! Oh I still worked out went to the gym even in my 50's, people thought I looked late 30's early 40's. My wife has always looked youthful she was only 2 years younger but I often got accused of robbing the cradle. Well getting older and trying to lift weights with the young ones doesn't mix! I developed a hernia. I thought I had appendicitis. Same spot as my appendix. I got the surgery got the mesh implanted. About a year or so later I would get pain where the surgery was. That is sometimes normal, but when I felt the pain I would sometimes wet my bed! That was embassing, to say the least I'm 50 something years old bedwetting is for kids and teens not a grown ass man like me! My wife was wonderful, I expected her to berate me, yell at me, whatever. I don't know if I could of been as kind if the tables had been turned. Fast forward a couple of years. It was getting so that if I had a major pain I was wet, even just a minor twinge where I had the surgery I would wake up wet. I started buying Abriform L4 they are pretty expensive I was diapering myself every night just in case. There were nights that I hadn't wet and basically wasted a diaper. As there were nights I slept dry and pulling the white tabs off the blue ones still tore the diaper a bit. The biggest nag I got from my wife was the nights I was dry and basically wasted a very expensive diaper from not using it. On days I would wake up dry I wet it on purpose just to justify the use. I guess I'm old school as that still felt like a waste to me. Along the way I found out I liked being a bedwetter, it was kind of a turn on for me. I thought I was nuts, what grown man likes to wet his bed. I started researching adult bedwetting and holy crap, I found out I'm not the only one! I'm not nuts after all. I wanted to be wet every night but it wasn't happening. I had another surgery on my shoulder torn rotator cuff. They catheterized me I was watching the bag fill and I wasn't even realizing I was loosing urine. Light Bulb! As Gru says. Why don't I just get a catheter and wet inside my diapers I mean I don't have to use the collection bag. Easier said than done I ran into you got a prescription for that? No. I was looking on Wish.com low and behold catheters. I started waiting for the little window to pop up asking for a perscription. There wasn't any and they arrived. Unfortunately, they didn't come with a syringe to pump the bladder ball. Tryed using them without and they kept sliding out. Disapointment! I ordered a syringe. 6 weeks later it arrived . I had my catheter in me and it was staying. I diapered myself and went to bed. I awoke in a puddle my diapers couldn't handle everything my bladder sent their way that and my junk had moved and was in the wrong direction. I started thinking. You know but it's weird woman's panties would keep my pee pee down. I bought my first nylon woman's panties. It kept it pointed in the right direction all right but I still was soaking my bed as I was totally wet! I started buying diaper doublers, plastic pants anything I could think of to contain my urine. My diapers made me waddle I was so thickly diapered. I was happy I was waking up soaked every day without having to worry about wasting diapers. My wife usually watched our grandkids at night at their house. My daughter and son in law both work overnights. I could indulge and not have to worry about my wife thinking I'm weird. My daughter got sick and we were together as my daughter was home with the kids and my wife was home with me. I was usually cathed and diapered before her coming to bed. My wife was still supportive she knew that I had a bedwetting problem and as long as I cared for it. She never said a negative word to me. One night in in the process of cateterizing myself. She walks in with my catheter half in and half out. Whoops! What are you doing she asked? Uhmmmm, I came clean told her about the past few months how I had been cathetered and I have been wetting my bed without any type of recollection. She asked me why. I told her it makes me feel naughty. She thought about it for a moment. Could you make me feel naughty? I think the smile on my face said it all. I let her start the catheter as I didn't know what hole it went into. The next thing is she is spraying urine. I got a diaper and contained most of her urine. I said you haven't gone potty have you? No she said I was going to go pee in a few moments that's why I came in was to go. She said it felt weird but I loved it it was like no control at all like when I was little. She had the catheter in her. I diapered her thickly like I was! We cuddled in bed for the first time in months. I felt her move and she was feeling the inside of her diaper. I'm soaked she said with a smile I feel naughty! Just like I used to feel when I was a little girl of 5 and wet my bed still. You never told me you used to wet your bed, I said! I didn't I thought I did, why do you think I never threw a fit about your bedwetting? I did until 7 years old. I missed it sometimes I like feeling babyish, not having control like this. Do you understand? Perfectly i said! We went into the bathroom and started. Getting out of our wet diapers and when I got to my panties. Wow she said I love you can we get me some whitie tighties! I've always wanted some. She blushed. Of course we can get you anything you want! After we were scrubbed, all disposables disposed of, washables washing, she led me to our bed naked we spent the morning making love to each other. If I had to admit it, I believe it was one of our best sessions in all our years of marriage. It Was great. That day we got her whitie tighties she got me some cotton panties. She told me they turn a golden yellow from your pee especially the crotches! At least they did when I was a kid! I was not surprised that night when she came and wanted a catheter, she said I already went pee! This time I got her ready and she got me ready. While she was doing me she said I can already feel my pads inside my boys undies getting wet! I knew what she meant! The next morning she was all smiles! Daddy I'm wet she said! I felt my manhood come to life. I said me to mommy. I saw her shiver she was turned on. She got on line most of the day, I didn't know what she was doing she spent over $300 dollars on things, was all she would say. About 3 weeks later all kinds of packages arrived. It was mostly onesies. Pacifiers, baby bottles with nipples the size I've never seen before. Other things she didn't want me to see. That night she got me naked after I went pee. Now I'm not the biggest guy down there. Porn stars will never have to worry about me putting them out of a job. After my catheters was in I felt a cold band around my testicles, then something went over my penis she had to smash it to get it to fit, I looked and I had a metal contraption over my penis. What's this I asked as I saw the tip of my catheter poking out around hole in the end. It's called a chastity cage she said! What for I asked, I've been faithful to you. I know, I know but I want to have you wear it! That's fine I said but.. But what? It's made of metal and I have to pass through a metal detector every morning to get to my office! I work in the courts system I'm a records keeper. Oh Pooh she said I seen it was important to her. How about nights and weekends, vacations. The smile returned to her face deal, just not daytimes at work. Deal I said! She said I got something for you for me. She brought out an egg looking thing she put some lubricant on it and stuck it in her kitty. She handed me a little thing that looked like a car alarm but had a display. She turned it on and said move that side up! I did as I was told and she looked like she wanted to collapse! You okay I asked! I hadn't made the connection that the higher I moved the dial up the more distressed she looked. I saw her leaking fluids they were running down her legs and dripping on the floor. That's when I realized the egg was a vibrator! I quickly turned down the volume, intensity and she began to breath again. Sorry, I said I didn't realize what it was at first. Quite alright she said I kind of enjoyed it! Again? She asked? I was more than happy to oblige I didn't go as high as last time I saw her shudder and knew she was having an orgasm! I turned the tone down she looked more comfortable but said your no fun! This time I moved the dial up quickly she leapt 6 inches in the air! A moan escaped her mouth. Slowly I moved the dial down as she came off her tippy toes. I turned it off and she pulled the string out which brought the egg out as well. She smiled I love it she said! Me too I said! I was ready for sex but with the cage on me that was out of the question. She put my panties on and gave my cage a little pat. Now you got a clit like me and your wearing panties woman's panties! She got me dressed in my diapers and pads. She put new pink plastic panties on with pink ruffles and I heard a click they locked. I was locked inside my plastic panties. I dressed her and she had dark blue plastic panties that had light blue ruffles. Hers locked as well. Then the Onesies came out the pink one that I thought was hers was mine and the blue one was hers. I was given a pink baby bottle with milk. It had been a while but soon I was suckling like an old pro. After that she stuck a pink pacifier in my mouth and clipped the pink to strap you my pink onesie. Hers was blue. Next day when I awoke I said morning. Morning who she asked? I was confused morning mommy he said! Okay morning mommy! How is my little sissy this morning? Sissy I thought then yep I'm pretty in pink I thought I'm good mommy I said in one of my best little girl voices. She gave me a smile. Is my little girl as wet as her mommy? Yes mommy I am! Another smile. She led me to our bathtub in the outer hall she removed everything. She undid my cage and slowly pulled out my catheter. Then relocked it. She ran some bathwater and but some bubble bath in the tub it was very effeminate smelling. She got me in and began scrubbing me like she would a child. She said I got to clean your clitty. She washed around my cage cleaning my testicles. She said your clitty is all clean she got me out and dried me off after rinsing the excess suds of. She had me undress her and called me daddy to let me know I was in that role now I cleaned up my little girl. I was dressed in pink womans undies again these were the softest I had felt. She used garters and slipped up pink nylons then a pink dress and a blonde wig with pigtails. She put her boys undies they were green and had the incredible hulk on them then a blue shirt that said play ball and had a baseball on it. Then Levis and a Indians baseball cap. Other than her hair she looked like a teen boy today I'm the man. And your the girl got it. Yeah I got it we spent all day just playing different roles it was an eye opener just to see how the other half lived. That night my princess dress was removed as well as my cage and I got to be the man again. She became my wife again we made love well into the night.
  16. Doctors today

    Hi all, had my anual check up today at urologists in the hospital. All went well until they suggested that i try using a catheter again. The consultant said that with my sphyncter being in the condition it is it may be worth trying a catheter again, but i may also "dribble a little around the catheter" i said does that mean i will have to use some sort of incontinence pad? The consultant said that it would most likely be necessary to use pads. The consultant looked a bit stumped when i suggested that not only will i still have to use pads but there will be the discomfort of a bag and the possible UTI'S as well, instead of wearing briefs and having none of the other complications. I said to the consultant that that it is he who finds fitted incontinence briefs embarrassing and that i am comfortable wearing briefs all of the time. I explained that it was a matter of getting into a routine and knowing the limits of your nappy. I told him that he was trying to stigmatise me and said that he was going to put me at more risk from being cathetered. We left it at that!
  17. Raising My Kids

    Chapter 1 history So this is a look back at 20 years of raising two kids! My wife and I had a wonderful honeymoon and then when we returned we moved her into my house. I had a job working in a local power plant so I was making pretty good money. She took care of the house, and meals etc. I had managed to get enough seniority to hold down first shift by this time. But just barely. There was always the threat of being bumped to afternoon shift which my wife would not be so happy with. Both of us when we were dating had found out about some kinks we had. She had a really big love for peeing her pants, and usually was so aroused by it that by the time we got home it was very easy for me to get her off. After that discovery when we were dating more often than not our night ended with her in pee soaked pants. Myself I have always loved wearing and wetting diapers. She did not mind wearing diapers, but it was not a big turn on for her. So she allowed me to wear diapers on our dates, as long as I kept towels and plastic bags in my car to protect her seat. Neither of us ever used a public bathroom. A big thrill for her was to go shopping, or out to eat etc. and then on the way to the car or at the car if too many people were around and to pee her pants. Then she would get in the car sitting on the towel and plastic bag and we would go home. Though sometimes if too many people were around, she would just sit in the car and pee her pants while we were driving home. I will never forget the way she showed me that she was into it. We had been dating probably a couple months and one saturday night we went out to eat. We had some water and a couple drinks with our meal. Usually when I go to pay for the meal, she heads to the ladies room to pee, then I go and we leave. This time she just stood there at the register with me. I went in to pee and told her she better go too. She said she did not have to go. It was ok...I figured she knows her body better than me. So I went in and peed and we headed to the car. I took her to a boardwalk along a river to have a nice romantic walk. It was probably 10 PM by this point so not many people were around and it was dark. We had walked a couple hundred feet down the boardwalk along the river and stopped and I began to kiss her. I held her tightly against me and she pushed me back some which was not like her at all. Usually she wants me to squeeze her tight. I said what is wrong? She said...I…...I should have peed at the restaurant. You almost made me pee my pants when you squeezed me. I was sympathetic and suggested we head back to the car and I would get her to a gas station. She said “eww, I am not going to pee in a nasty gas station bathroom. I would rather pee my pants first”. She leaned in and began kissing me again. I have always thought that a woman who pees her pants is almost as hot as woman who wears diapers…..but I could not just let that be known or she would think I was some kind of weirdo. My mind was now concentrating on the thought of her being so desperate and I secretly hoped she would pee her pants. She was squirming quite a lot as we were kissing and it was making me unmistakably hard. I soon found her reaching down on my pants and feeling my very hard cock. She backed up and said wow, someone is turned on tonight. I replied with yes, very much so…….She responded saying but we do this almost every night and your never this ready this quickly, what is different? As she asked that she pulled one leg up in the air tightly over the other and jammed her hand in her crotch. She said OMG, I am going to pee my pants...I could take no more...I took a huge risk and said, go ahead baby. There is no sense in you suffering like that. Just let it out. I have a towel in my car you can sit on. We can go back to my place and you can clean up, wash your jeans and dry them. She said you won’t be mad or upset at me? I slipped and said no, it is kind of hot...My face turned red as I did not mean to say that. She looked at me and said really? As she opened her legs up and began to pee her jeans. I said yes...Hell I already said it now. She grabbed my hand and placed it in her crotch so that I could feel her hot piss all over my hand as it made its way into her jeans and down her legs. I was so turned on. She said I have to confess to you…..I had to pee back at the restaurant….I have been trying to figure out how to tell you I like to pee my pants but did not want you to think I was a freak. This was how I decided to do it. To see how you would react to me having an accident. If you laughed at me, or made fun of me I would have this excuse to never see you again. If you liked it as you do judging by your hard cock. I am yours forever. I smiled and said you are never allowed to use a public bathroom again! She laughed and said ok. No problem! I then confided in her that I wear diapers and like to wet them. She said that she was not allowing me to ever use a public toilet again either then and I happily agreed. We went back to the car, and both of us were so turned on we could not wait to get home. We got in the back seat and made love right there in the parking lot. It was awesome. She did not want to put her wet jeans back on, so she sat in her peed panties in the front seat on a towel as we drove back to my house. She spent that night with me as I introduced her to wearing diapers. The next morning both of us got up and walked around the house in wet diapers as we got breakfast. She had no problem wearing diapers for me all the time at home but would rather not wear them in public. So I got the best of both of my loves...a hot woman in peed pants when we go out, and a hot woman in a wet diaper around the house. Our toilet does not get much use at all. Chapter 2 The babies A couple months after we were married, I came home from work one night and she had dinner ready but this time with candles burning and soft music playing. I kissed her and went to change out of my work uniform and clean up change my diaper, etc. I headed back down stairs as she was serving the food on my plate. I said what is the special occasion baby? She said I have some news for you! I said ok? Is it good news? She said I think it is very good news. I took a sip of coffee and said then please do share!!!! She reached down and pulled back one of the other chairs at the table and there was a paper towel wrapped up there. She picked it up and unrolled it and pulled out a long device. She said do you know what this is? I looked at it from across the table and said well no………...I mean it kind of looks like and I froze…………...she smiled and said yes it is, and yes I am…….I jumped up and ran to her side of the table and hugged her and kissed her. We are going to have a baby! She said yes we are! I was very happy with this news. We enjoyed our dinner that night and had a very wonderful evening. Several months into the pregnancy she was showing very much. We had found out it was going to be a girl. This made me happy as I have always wanted a daughter to spoil and love. We had to buy the next size up diapers for my wife now as her belly was getting bigger and she was gaining a little weight too. She found herself now at night waking up to a wet diaper sometimes without even knowing she had wet it. She told me it was really odd to be a bedwetter now for the first time in her life. At about 6 months she found it difficult to even go to the store without peeing herself in the store..and decided to make the rest of my fantasy come true and just wear diapers 24/7 until the baby was born. I had no issue with that at all. The 9th month was a little rough as she was in extreme discomfort and had a hard time even changing her own diapers. She was also very annoyed by a wet diaper now, and wanted me to change her every time she wet it. So I started buying her cheaper diapers that would only hold one pee so we were not wasting good diapers. Finally one morning she went into Labor and we took off for the hospital. I called off work and we went in. It was a longer labor than we had hoped but when the baby came it was the grossest yet most amazing thing I have ever seen. The nurse cleaned up the baby and we both got to hold her. We named her Lisa. A few days later they sent my wife and Lisa home with us. My wife soon found that after that baby she could not hold it like she did before. We went out to eat and she peed her pants right there at the table. I grabbed a jacket to tie around her waist and helped clean up some of the puddle on the booth seat while she ran to the car. We decided after that she would stay in diapers for a while. Well that “while” we talked about turned into full time. She began to like the convenience of being in diapers and just pretty much gave up trying to do Kegel exercises . Diapers became the way of life for both of us. A year later she was pregnant again and in a few months we had a son and named him John. We had talked about how many kids we wanted and she and I agreed on 2. So shortly after John was born she had her tubes tied. She worked out very hard to get her body back after the two kids and we were able to get back to medium diapers again for both of us instead of having to buy medium and large plus the Pampers for the babies. Things at my job were going well, my wife and I would get a babysitter on Friday or Saturday night for the kids and we would have a date night. Settling down to a life of wife and kids was very nice. Bumps in the road happened now and then but nothing we could not work out. Chapter 3 The Growing Years When Lisa turned 4 she started to take her Pampers off during the day and run around the house naked. My wife decided at that time it was time to try potty training. So we started buying Goodnites pull up’s for her instead of diapers. We quickly found out that her night time bedwetting was too much for the Goodnights and we went back to diapers for her at night. It took a few weeks to get Lisa to use the potty during the day. But every night we just put her in Pampers diapers for bed. John on the other hand did not take any interest in potty training until he was in Kindergarden. The school was not so happy with us not having him potty trained yet but seeing other kids using the potty soon made him want to try it. So we put him in Goodnites also during the day at school and diapers at night. By the time Lisa was in 2nd grade and John was in first they were both completely day time potty trained but on weekends and weeknights if they wanted we would let them wear diapers around the house. Anytime we took them to the store shopping, or on a trip or vacation, etc. we would just diaper them up instead of having to go through the hassle of finding a bathroom. When Lisa was in the 4th grade my wife taught her to put her own diaper on before bed and told her she did not have to wear them to bed anymore if she didn’t want to. But make sure she gets up to pee at night and does not pee the bed. Lisa agreed and that night decided to try underwear to bed. My wife put a towel on her bed just in case and tucked her into bed. The next morning we came in to get her up and she was in a wet diaper. I asked her how she went to bed in panties and woke up in a diaper? She said she could not sleep as she was too worried she would pee the bed in her sleep so she put a diaper on. I hugged her and said good move. It got to a point where both kids would come home from school, take their school clothes off and put a diaper on and then go out and play, do homework, etc. When Lisa got her period in about 8th grade she did not know what to do. It was sadly at school and her panties and jeans had blood on them. My wife suggested Kotex pads for her to wear in her underwear. She tried them for a while and then asked if she could just wear Goodnites to school instead for her period? My wife said sure you can, but the other girls might not understand why you're wearing those! She thought about it and said well……...maybe I will wear the pads on my gym days, and the Goodnights on the other days. My wife agreed and that worked well for her. She said it was actually nice because when in class she never had to ask to use the toilet or panicked to get to one before she wet herself between classes. She was wearing a Goodnight and would just pee in it at her desk and change between classes. At 16 years old Lisa started having boy friends. So the diaper use went down to just at night while she was sleeping, and once in a while on a lazy sunday if she did not have a date or any friends coming over, Then she would wear a diaper around the house. It was nice to be buying less diapers. She was no longer fitting into Pampers and we had to buy adult diapers for her. John was also finding less interest in wearing diapers day and night, and only wore them once in a while. They always had them available to them but were not wearing them much. A pack of 15 diapers now would last each of them about a month. Goodnites still fit Lisa and she was wearing them quite often though. And every time she had them on she would wet them. Chapter 4 The vacation When Lisa was a senior in high school, John was a Junior. I had planned a vacation trip for us to Niagara Falls NY for 3 days. I had taken a week off of work, and it was spring break for them at school. The night before we packed the car full of clothes, diapers for all of us, food drinks etc. We headed to bed. The plan was to get up early and get breakfast on the way. We all headed to bed and I set the alarm for 5:30 AM. I kissed my lovely wife good night and we drifted off to sleep. The alarm went off in what seemed like an hour after we went to sleep but it was actually more like 6 hours later. My wife and I got up, went downstairs and got some coffee on so we could function. She said her diaper was too wet and headed back up to change it and clean up in the bathroom. Soon I had the same issue and did the same. She asked me to wake the kids up and get them ready. So I went to Lisa’s room and shook her and told her to get up. She rolled over and mumbled something and went back to snoring. I grabbed the sheets and pulled them off of her to make her cold and to my surprise she was laying there in a rather wet diaper and pajama top. I said Lisa we have to leave soon, come on get up...she rolled over on her back and stretched and yawned and said ok..ok ..I am up.. I said you decided to wear a diaper to bed ah? She said I knew we had to get up early and I wanted to get as much sleep as I could. I replied that makes sense! Cool get up now. She rolled out of bed and stumble to her feet. She leaned over to hug me and I kissed her head. I started to walk away and she just stood there still. I said you ok? She said yeah, just peeing again. I said ok see you down stairs and headed for Johns room. I went in and shook him too. He said he was awake already. Grabbed the blankets off his bed and quickly ran to the bathroom to pee. Lisa came down stairs still in her wet diaper and pajama top and grabbed a cup of coffee. John did the same in his pajamas. We sat in the living room and discussed our trip. I told them that we are not stopping on the trip from here to New York so I advise they be diapered. I also told them I had invested in what is called a booster pad for their diapers. They had never seen them before as we never used them. I explained to John that he would stick it inside his diaper on the front and to Lisa to put it in the bottom of her diaper but slightly toward the front. I handed my wife one and took one for myself. I said now you two decide who gets the bathroom first, get cleaned up, diaper up and let's get out of here. Lisa ran for the bathroom which left John sitting there with us. I laughed and said well I see who wins things around here. He just looked at me with a pouty look. Soon we were all cleaned up, diapered and on the road. We stopped just outside of town and got some breakfast. Back in the car and off we went. We tried to keep our drinking of any liquids to a minimum on the way up there. As it was I wet my diaper like 3 times before we got there. We found the hotel and I went up to get the key and check in. Once in the hotel room, we all needed a diaper change badly. I handed the suitcase with Lisa and Johns diapers in it to them and opened ours for my wife and I. Lisa and John both decided to only wear diapers when we were visiting places like the falls etc. but would stay in underwear while at the hotel and shopping etc. We had a really great time there. John and Lisa were more daring than my wife and I. They went down on the walkway where you get soaked from the water splashing up from the falls. By the time they returned they were soaked from head to toe. John said heck, I didn’t need a diaper today. I could have just peed my pants and no one would have known. We laughed at that and headed to the car. Lisa said my diaper is soaked and I only peed once in it. John said yeah me too. That water from our clothes went into our diapers. I said well I don’t have any diapers with us! They decided if we were just going back to the hotel now, they would take their diapers off in the bathroom there at the visitor center and just not wear anything under their jeans for the short drive back. It was a about a 25 minute drive back to the hotel. We did not get one too close because of the expense as well as I had some people to visit and things to see also while there. So I chose a hotel in the middle of the two locations. It was not long before Lisa was complaining that she had to pee really bad. I told her to hold on, we were almost there. The closer we got to the hotel the more she was bent over in the seat with her legs crossed and her hand in her crotch. John poked her a couple times and she yelled at him to stop it. It ….it's coming out now! Stop it! I told John to leave her alone. I did not want pee on my car seat. I looked back at her and the crotch of her jeans had a very good sized wet patch on it from outside of her hand. I told her once we get into the parking lot, get out of the car and then just pee your pants. There no sense in trying to get into the hotel room and the puddle of pee is better in the parking lot than on the balcony, up the stairs to the hotel room, or in the bathroom in the hotel room. She nodded in agreement as she could not speak. As I pulled into the parking space she had the door partly open. I stopped the car and she jumped out and stood there peeing herself full force beside the car. At this point she could care less if anyone was watching. My wife then walked her to the hotel room to change as John and I got the stuff we bought at the gift shop out of the car and brought them into the room. The next day was uneventful and diapered for all of us. We visited the area’s that I wanted to see. The kids were bored but it was not for long. That night we decided to check out and drive home to save some money on the hotel bill. We all diapered up with the boosters in our diapers, packed the car up. I pulled around to the office, returned the key and paid the bill. We stopped at McDonalds on the way to get some coffee for me and my wife to stay awake for the drive home and bought the kids something to eat and a coke. The trip home was nice as both John and Lisa fell asleep part way into the trip home and pretty much stayed that way until we got home. Once home I had to wake them up to let them know we were home. They were so tired and sleepy that they went into the house and laid on the couch and went back to sleep. I got the stuff out of the car, locked it, and told them they need to go to bed. They mumbled something and john stumbled up and sat on the chair and fell back to sleep. I looked at my wife and said let's get them to bed. She said I am sure by now they are soaked too. I said ok you get your self cleaned up and I will change them and put them to bed. I took Lisa by the hand and helped her stumble up the steps and laid her on her bed. I said do you want daddy to change your diaper so you can get right back to sleep? She nodded yes and closed her eyes again. I removed her pants and my wife was right. She was soaked. I got the wipes and grabbed a diaper from her bag and then removed her wet diaper, wiped her clean and put a nice dry diaper with some baby powder on her. I never thought I would be changing my 17 year old daughter's diaper. That was odd, but yet somehow loving. It felt like I was taking care of her again like I used to. Once taped up I lifted her up onto her pillow, pulled the blankets over her and kissed her forehead good night. She said thank you daddy and closed her eyes. My heart melted. I turned off her light and went back down to get John. He was more awake now, and said he was headed to bed. I said ok good night see you in the morning. Sleep well. He said thanks and headed up stairs. I then took my wife up to bed, laid her on the bed and changed her diaper too. I was just in the mood! I changed my diaper and crawled into bed. We all slept in the next morning and woke up in soaked diapers. Had a nice breakfast and relaxed. All 4 of us pretty much stayed diapered all day as we just had a very lazy day. Lisa that night asked me again if I would change her diaper and tuck her in like I did last night. A big part of me really wanted to as it felt like a bond between us. Like she was my little girl again. But I told her that daddy only changes big girl diapers on special occasions like if your sick, or last night. She pouted and went upstairs to change her own diaper. She came back down in her diaper and pajamas and snuggled next to me on the couch while we all watched TV. Soon life went back to normal, and Lisa got married to a guy who totally accepted her diapers. John was dating someone and soon moved in with her. The house was now empty except for me and my lovely wife. Though it felt odd, we did enjoy the peace and quiet. They came to visit us (aka beg for food, money, etc) very often so we were not really alone so much. Once Lisa had her baby we were now grandparents and had a new bundle of joy to spoil and that we did!
  18. My Life in Diapers

    My name is Leah, I was born in 1967 to a loving mother and father. I am the oldest of 3 kids. I have a brother Brandon and a sister Colette. Dad had a good job with a major corporation and made very good money with his Union wages. The first part of this story was relayed to me by mom as I can’t remember that far back. From the time I was born until I was 3 Mom kept me in Cloth diapers and rubber pants day and night. She tried to potty train me at 2 and I refused to connect in my head my need to pee with the potty. I would ignore my need to pee until it was too strong and would just come out on its own and I would not stop it. So Mom gave up and kept me in diapers another year. Mom thought I was jealous of my new baby Brother and this was my way to rebel. Being a girl I think mom made the biggest mistake of all by buying cute pink pants to fit over my rubber pants and I thought I looked adorable in them. I was a Deva even at that young age. Mom then discovered Pampers around 1970. Other moms that had younger children were talking about how good they were. Mom found a box of them that were for bigger kids as well as the ones for toddlers as Brandon was 1 year old and brought them home. Thankfully I have always been petite and so the baby diapers for a 2 year old still fit me. At first it was odd, as these were not as thick but felt really good and soft. The first time I wet the diaper it must have felt really good because I did not seem to want to let mom change me. Mom said I made her chase me around and said no mommy leave alone. Ha ha ha! Mom tried again to potty train me at 4 years old and I took to it fairly well during the day, but at night I wet the bed every night. By the time I was 5 mom had me in diapers at night, and on weekends, and on trips to the store, vacations, the drive in theatres, restaurants etc. When I started school, mom told the school that I wear diapers at night, and sometimes have day time accidents. She told them if they see me dancing around or holding myself to get me to the bathroom. She then handed them a box with my name on it. In the box was a dry pair of pants and an entire pack of Pampers. Mom told them if I did wet my pants, just put me in the Pampers put the dry pants on me, and send the wet pants home with me. Well mom said 2 to 3 times a week I came home in a wet diaper from school. This lasted clear through first grade also, at home mom said I would completely refuse to use the toilet. My brother was also not wanting to be potty trained so mom was used to changing diapers anyhow. I remember in second grade several times sitting at my desk and all of the sudden I had to pee. I was scared to ask my teacher if I could go to the bathroom because I was shy and kind of introverted, the next thing I knew I felt my pee coming out of me in my pants right there at my desk. I remember being sent down to the office and they put me in a diaper under my dress or give me other pants to wear over the diaper and sent me back to class with my panties in a plastic bag. I remember being happy to be able to then not have to draw attention to myself when I had to pee, but could just wet my diaper in class. By 6th grade Mom had taught me to diaper myself and just packed a diaper in my backpack and an rolled up pair of pants tied to the backpack hanging from a string if I needed to change. I would get to school, and go through the morning in good shape. My Gym class was in the morning so I was still in panties and then at lunch every day would go to the bathroom and remove my panties and put on the diaper mom put in the backpack. Then the rest of the day I would be diapered and could wet myself as needed. When I got home from school mom would empty my backpack, find my panties and comment on how impressed she was that they were dry by the end of the day and would throw them in the wash. There was a couple times I made it as far as the bathroom and peed my pants on the way into the bathroom. But again the panties were thin and they did dry by the time I got home. So mom did not seem to notice the difference. One Monday after school mom said it is time to get you out of diapers. You're in the 6th grade. I complained and threw a tantrum and cried and ran to my room. I did not want to. Mom would not take no for an answer. She came to my room, laid me on the bed and took my wet diaper off. She cleaned me up and put panties on me and sent me outside to play until dinner was ready. I remember mumbling to myself that I will just pee my pants I don’t care. Thankfully she did not hear me or she would have given me a spanking for back talking her. I remember this well, I went outside and the neighbor girl Lisa was outside playing on her bike. She was in the 5th grade. She and I got a long well and so I went down to her house on my bike and we started talking. She had a game called Twister that I had never played before and so her mom sat on the porch as we played the game in the yard. It was really fun and we were being silly and laughing. Soon I felt I had to pee again and I tried to hold it but being that my legs were spread way out on the game board and I was bent over backwards with my hands under me, my belly was pushing hard on my bladder and my pee just came out. I relaxed and let it all out in my pants and onto the game board. My friend said Oh no Leah, you peed your pants. I said yeah so? It happens! Lisa looked at me kind of puzzled and said, you're not upset? I said why would I be? It is just pee. Her mom said, oh honey, you better go home and have your mom help you clean up. I said no thanks, I will wait till mom calls me for dinner soon. Her mom said really? You don’t want to go clean up now? I said no thank you mam. I want to ride my bike now. Her mom took the game board and rinsed it off with the hose and laid it on the porch railing to dry. My friend and I got on our bikes and rode down to the end of the road which was only 5 houses. We stopped at the woods that lined the road that our street tee’d into to and looked down at the river below. My friend pulled up beside me and said so……..what does it feel like to pee your pants? I said it feels good. It is warm and you stop having the pain in your belly of having to go pee. She looked at me kind of interested. I said my mom lets me wear diapers most of the time and it feels really good to wear diapers and wet them. My friend laughed and said diapers? They are for babies. I got mad and demanded that she don’t laugh. They are not just for babies. She said oh….ok, and looked down at the ground. I could see she was fidgeting a little, and I said do you have to pee now? She said yes I do. I said then just go. She said if I go in the house, I won’t be allowed back out until tomorrow. I said no I mean pee your pants like I did. She smiled and said really? You think I could? I said you wanted to know what if feels like right? She said yeah I do...but.. I said but what? Do it, I demanded. Then we can be pee pants twins I said. (back then my logic was not always what it should be...Pee pants twins? Ha Ha) She said she really wanted to try it. I said I won’t look, go ahead and pee your pants. I got off my bike and walked to the edge of the rocks looking down at the river below. After some time she tapped me on the shoulder, I turned and looked down to see she had done it. She was standing there in pee soaked pants too. I said see, it is not so bad is it? She said no….it is kind of neat o. I said I told you. I smiled and got back on my bike. She said I want to try those diapers too. I said ok. We can do it. I said it is almost time for mom to call me to eat, How about tomorrow I will sneak a diaper out of the house and put it on you and you can try it? She looked at me and smiled and said…..sure, I can’t wait. We headed back to her house, and her mom noticed right away that Lisa had peed her pants. She said honey what happened. Lisa said I had to go pee and you said if I came in I had to stay in. Leah and I were having too much fun and I forgot and it came out. Her mom said ok honey. And walked her in the house. She looked back at me and waved and winked at me. I smiled and waved back and headed to my yard to play. Soon mom called me in the house, I went in, washed my hands and face, and sat at the table. Mom never even noticed my jeans were wet, But really they had dried so much it was hard to tell. I could tell because I was wearing them. Brandon now 7 years old was being a pain at dinner talking, and being silly. He and Colette were dressed only in a diaper and shirt as usual. During dinner I had to pee again and I just let it out in my pants right there at the table. Soon my pee was cascading off my chair onto the floor and splashing loudly. Dad said what is that noise? I looked up and said I just peed my pants again. Dad was sympathetic to me as I was his baby. Brandon said Leah peed her pants, Leah peed her pants. Dad told him to stop it now! Mom said Leah…..what is wrong with you? Dad said honey it is ok… Just let her stay in diapers until she grows out of this. Mom said but she is in 6th grade now? Dad said he and his brother were in diapers into high school. Mom said but that was at night for bed wetting….Dad said yeah, but it is ok. What is it hurting? You have no mess to clean up, No laundry to wash, and she is not hurting herself or anyone else wearing diapers. Mom said I did not think of that. She got up, dragged me to my room and put me back in a diaper like I wanted. Mom made me go down stairs, finish eating and then go watch tv in just my diaper and a t-shirt. While mom was cleaning up the dishes, Lisa came to the door and saw me sitting on the couch watching tv. She came in and then froze when she saw me sitting in a diaper and shirt. I was a little embarrassed but then said see, this is what it looks like. Lisa sat beside me and said...can I touch it? I said sure. She felt it and said wow it is soft. I said yeah. And it is so nice to never have to go potty or have to hold it. She was like, I want to try it. I said tomorrow I promise. She was excited. She said my parents had to leave for a couple hours and asked me to come play with you till they get back. Is that ok? I said sure. She grabbed our phone and called her mom to let her know she would be at my house. She sat back down beside me and watch tv with me. My mom came in and said oh, I did not know you had company. Leah, go put some pants on. I said do I have to? Mom said yes. You can only run around in your diaper when we don’t have company. I said ok, and got up and walked past Lisa who was really focused on the diaper and how it looked and sounded. I went up stairs and put on a skirt. I asked mom if we could sit on the porch and she said yes, just don’t get dirty. Stay on the porch. So we went and sat on the edge of the porch on the steps. Lisa said she liked peeing her pants and might try it again sometime soon. I said she totally should...I said once you see how you can wear a diaper and pee your diaper in a store, in school, in the car and so on and no one knows it, you will want to wear them all the time too. She laughed and said at school? I said yes, I wet my diaper at my desk every day. She was like wow… She grabbed my skirt and raised it up. I said what are you doing? She said I just wanted to see it again. I said soon you will be in your own. Soon her parents returned and she went home. The next morning I had taken one extra diaper with me to school hidden in the back of my pants until I got away from the house. Then I put it in my backpack to give to Lisa. Thankfully that day Lisa was wearing a long skirt and I talked her into meeting me in the bathroom at lunch time. She did. And we locked ourselves into a stall, and I took out the diaper. She was scared at first, but I helped her take her panties off and while she held her skirt up, I put her in the diaper. I said now, you won’t have to take a toilet break the next 3 hours until we get home from School. If you have to go, just let it out. She was nervous. I hugged her and said it would be ok. I put her panties in my backpack and said she gets them back once her diaper is wet or at my house after school. She agreed and left the stall. I then changed my panties into my diaper and headed back to class. At the end of the day she was waiting for me at the corner to walk home. I said well? She said she was so scared there was no way she was going to pee in it. When the teacher gave us a bathroom break, I went to the bathroom but there were no doors on the stalls in the bathroom we were in and I did not want anyone to see me in a diaper, and I could not pull it down anyways because you put it on so tight. So I decided I would just hold it until after school and make you take it off so I could pee. But as the afternoon went on I started to have to go so bad it hurt. She said I was sort of holding myself when people were not looking and I was bent over at my desk. I was determined to make it to the end of the school day. She said but the teacher called her to the chalkboard to work out a math problem for the class, and when she stood up from the desk she started to pee. At that point there was no turning back and I was so scared the diaper might fail. But I could not stop it from coming out of me, nor could I squeeze my legs together or hold myself standing there with everyone looking at me. She said I walked slowly to the front of the class as the pee filled my diaper and worked out the math problem on the chalkboard. She said it was so cool to be bad like that and pee in my diaper with no one knowing it. She said it is still on and your right. It feels great. I said I know it does, I wear them all the time, and I am going to figure out a way to stop wearing panties at school too. I am working on a plan. We walked home and as we approached my house Lisa stopped, leaned against a telephone pole and stood still. I said are you peeing again? She said yep and grinned from ear to ear. I said awesome. She said how come you did not have to pee walking home too? I said I did it about 3 blocks ago while we were walking home. Wow, she said. I had to stop to let it out. I said you will learn in time how to relax and let it out anytime anywhere. I smiled and headed to my house. She followed as she needed her panties back. I said Mom, Lisa is going to my bedroom with me for a short time to work on a homework assignment real quick ok? Mom said yes that is fine, also I bought a new case of diapers for you too. They are in your room. I said awesome thanks mom. We headed up stairs. I took my diaper off and put on a clean one. I took hers off and handed her the wipes and her panties. She wiped herself off and put on her panties. I handed her another diaper for tomorrow and she said you're awesome. She put it in her backpack and said I must get home. I hugged her and off she went. Every day for a while she would have me diaper her, and then I showed her how to diaper herself. I could not supply her diapers every day for long, and soon we had to make it a couple times a week. She and I became best friends and she would peed her pants walking home sometimes if she was not diapered just for fun. Her mom was getting concerned so I told her she better slow down on the pants peeing some. Her solution was to get some pants from yard sales etc. to bring with her to school that she bought for a dime from her allowance and then she would wear them and wet them, then change in my garage. We would hose the pants out with the water hose and hang them in my basement to dry until the next time she was in the mood to pee her pants again. That worked a while until the pants really started still smelling like pee, and we threw them out and bought more. Fast forward to 1981. I was in 9th grade. I was back to panties during the school day, but I would always go into the bathroom after school, and change into a diaper to walk home. My brother and sister only wore diapers at night now, and sometimes on weekends or road trips etc. I used to run and ride my bike a lot. I was rail thin and could still fit into Pampers Overnight thick diapers, the ones in the blue and white box, and that is what I would wear still at home, on weekends all day, and holidays. Dad would not support mom in wanting me out of diapers completely, and so she gave up. They let me run around in diapers with the exception of at school because then I was needing to undress more and wear skimpy gym shorts etc. for class. Lisa at this point had a babysitting job and would buy her own Pampers and hide them in her room. She could only wear them at my house, or when we went to the mall or what ever. But we both would be diapered quite often. I remember one time we went with a couple cute boys to a movie at the mall, we dared each other to wear our diapers. So we did. The boys by the end of the movie actually said that we were the first girls they had ever been out with who could drink a whole Coke, and not get up once to go pee during the movie. They said you two must have bladders of iron. We snickered and said we are tough like that. They had no idea we were both standing there in soaked diapers under our jeans. As the boys headed to pee again themselves, and then get us a pretzel I felt the back of my pants and my diaper had leaked just a little. There was a tiny wet spot on my bottom. I told Lisa we had better go change before we were in trouble. She agreed and we took off for the bathroom to change into fresh dry diapers. The boys had no clue. It was awesome. I remember one trip the family took to visit some people who lived in Tennessee. It was an 8 hour drive each way. My 17 year old Cousin Jennifer came along with us. She had no idea I was still in diapers at 15 years old. I remember dad being aggravated at her saying she had to pee like every 90 minutes on the entire trip. He said she should be wearing a diaper. She responded with Ew gross, no way.. One time we were in the middle of the mountains on I-71. Traffic was fairly heavy and she kept saying she had to pee, hurry. At this point Dad was ignoring her as he was tired of hearing it. He said the next rest area is 40 miles ahead, and the hotel is 55. We are going to the hotel. She soon shut up and then said God Damit…. My dad turned around and said don’t you ever use that language around us. She started crying and said I just peed my pants because you would not stop. I looked up from my book and there was a puddle of pee in her crotch as she was still peeing. Dad said well, now at least we can make the rest of the trip in peace, because your pants are already wet. We have one hour to go and if you have to pee again before we get there, just pee in your pants again. It will be ok. She was shocked but agreed it was better than suffering anymore. Dad said we need to figure something out for you for the trip home because we are not going to have a repeat of this. Mom said she would have a talk with her over the next couple days and try to convince her of a better solution. Dad said thank you hun. She looked at me and said how come you only had to go pee 2 times on this 8 hour trip? I watched you drink 2 bottles of water and two Diet cokes? I said I don’t know...diapers. She laughed and said, diapers. You guys are funny. I shrugged my shoulders and went back to reading my book I brought with me. She annoyed me anyhow, so I did not really try to be her friend. Long story short, she would not agree to even trying a diaper, and so she had to sit on bath towels with a plastic bag on the seat. Dad said he would only stop every 3 hours and she was to just pee her pants if she could not wait. She was furious, but I can understand dads point. She did indeed pee her pants. Infact she was so mad she said she would teach us a lesson and she refused to get out of the car until we got home. She peed her pants about 5 times and then made mom and dad clean her and the car up. Whatever……. she was a brat. We never really ever seen much of her again. Her parents were mad at my dad for making their precious daughter pee her pants. Fast forward now to spring of 1985. I was getting ready to graduate finally. I was now too big to wear Pampers anymore and found other adult diapers that I had to put boosters I made from old wash cloths in to get the absorbency I wanted to get me through the day. I liked that they were reusable at least. I was no longer required to take gym class, because I took cosmetology vocational class instead. This allowed me to wear my diapers 24/7 now. The one thing I did notice is by the end of my senior year, my bladder was so weak I would actually wet my diaper even when I did not want to. I had totally stopped ever trying to hold it and now I can’t. Mom and Dad at this point had already turned over the responsibility of buying my diapers to me and they did not care that at 17 years old I was still running around in a diaper and shirt in the house. It was my life now. Graduation day came and went. I walked on the stage with a nice thick diaper under my gown. I wanted to go to prom but Dad had a work related thing he had to do and we had to leave town the night before and would not be back in time. So I had to turn down my offers to go from the guy’s. There was one guy Mark who I really liked, and he kind of liked me. He asked me out a few times and I accepted. Being that I was wearing a diaper, I knew it was safe for him not to try anything with me. But on the third date he started kissing me and it felt so good. He was then feeling my breasts and I did not stop him. I was so turned on and really enjoying being touched and kissed, then I was of jolted out of my love trance when I started to pee in my diaper. I stopped him and said look. You need to know something. He said what? And kind of moved away from me. I said…….I have a medical issue and I am not like other girls. He said honey, I like you for you. I don’t care. I was happy with that response. I said well…..I am not so sure you will still feel that way when I tell you. I was nervous as hell not knowing how he would react. Part of me now wishing my Father would have sided with my mom and got me out of diapers way back then. I said Mark….have you ever noticed on our last few dates how I never ever had to go pee like other girls? He said yes, but I was not going to say anything about it. I said well, there is a reason for that. He said yes, I know and I don’t mind. I said you know what? He said that you have to wear diapers. My face turned a thousand shades of red and I got light headed. My mind was thinking how did he know, is my diaper showing? Oh….My ...God. ……...ok calm down Leah I said to myself….…..I said mark how did you know? He said sometimes at school before lunch and at the end of the day when I am talking to you at your locker you smell a little like pee when you move a certain way. And one day you had on pants that were a little too tight and I could see the outline of your diaper. I was embarrassed. He said but don’t worry. No one really knows. I said how can you say that? If you know everyone must know? He said I look for those things and that is the only way I knew….... And honestly at that point I just had to find out for myself. I did confirm it for myself before I asked you out the first time. He said you don’t smell like pee hardly ever or much at all, but just when you have been in your wet diaper a long time and move in a way that lets air escape the diaper. But it is ok. I said it is ok? He said I am into diaper girls, and that is one of the many things besides your beauty that I am so attracted to. He kissed me and reached down into the front of my diaper and I did not stop him. I pulled my belly in so he could gain easy access to my pussy. That night I lost my virginity to him and then after he held me for a while he gently cleaned me up and put me in a nice dry diaper. He was pretty good at it too. We dated for the next couple years then sadly drifted apart. He was my first love. Lisa and I stayed good friends and still are. She now wears diapers 24/7 also and we love to get together and hang out in our diapers. Sometimes we both just run around my house in a diaper and shirt only. She is married with kids, so we only get together every few weeks now sadly. In my 20’s it was hard to find guys to date a diaper girl, but I kept trying and did not get discouraged. I was not about to try to give up diapers now. It was not until I was 29 that I met the guy I married. Fred was a great guy and even tried diapers himself a few times but never got into it. We stayed married for 5 years and then we drifted apart and I was divorced. We had a daughter who I still keep in diapers just like me. She lives with me, and we run around in the evenings and on weekends at home in our diapers, watch tv etc. Later we got a computer and I found web sites for people who are into diapers and adult babies, etc. I spent the next few months reading and learning and getting to know people just like me who love to wear diapers. I now wear a lot of ABU, DC Armor and Rearz cute diapers because they are so cute on me. At this point in my life now, I am looking for a man in diapers who does not mind changing me and taking care of me as I will him.
  19. How do you sleep?

    How do you like to sleep? Dry or wet? I definitely like to fall asleep with my NUK pacifier and wet diaper! The warm feeling puts me to sleep fast
  20. Padded Travel

    Padded Travel The other day I was waiting for my flight at the airport and saw a sight that brought back some mixed, though in general, happy memories. There was a young girl about 6 or 7 sat reading a book resting on her knees with her feet on the seat and her little blue summer dress had risen up innocently showing what she was wearing underneath. What caught my eye were the shiny pale blue plastic pants that were obviously covering a thick diaper. I didn’t want to stare too long but it reminded me of the time when my parents used to put me into diapers for long journeys. The mother was sat next to her but I don’t think she saw me looking however, shortly after I saw this particular sight; she called to her son, who was watching the nearby TV screen. The boy, about 10 or 11 was wearing a pair of blue and grey checked shorts and he also appeared to be protected because when he reached over to pick up a toy he’d dropped, the gap between his t-shirt and shorts showed the top of his diaper. Once I knew he was dressed that way, it became obvious from how he was wearing his shorts that he was also very well padded indeed. Unfortunately, pretty soon after this event the father, a very good-looking man in his late twenties, wearing pale blue chinos and a brilliant white polo shirt, arrived and hurried them all off to their flight. They looked a really nice family group as they gathered up their belongings, and the children’s colourful cases, and hurried their way to the departure gate. Neither child seemed distressed by, or even conscious of, what they were wearing for the flight. They, like their parents, appeared to be just excited by their trip and that was all. **** I’m not a father myself but I always think that having your children well-padded for long flights seems to be such a prudent idea, as kids can suddenly get the urge to go at the most inopportune times and often holding it is not an option. Such precautions seem sensible and cuts down on any anxiety from parents and airline companies. No-one really wants to be left with a wet seat. The reason I think that way is because although I was potty-trained from an early age, when we embarked on any journey of any significance in the family car, I was always diapered for the duration. I do remember that this was because once, when I was 4 years-old, I fell asleep in the back of the car and accidentally wet the seat. Dad was furious, although he didn’t shout or scream at me he just sternly mentioned that we’d have to take more care the ‘next time’. Little did I know that the ‘next time’ meant I was to be well padded. A few weeks later, before we set off to visit my Aunty Joan and Uncle Jon, my mother said that she would supervise my getting ready as she had something I needed to wear. At the time I had no inkling to what she had in mind but it soon became apparent when I got out of the bath, dried myself off and saw the clothing she’d put out. There on the bed, taking pride of place between my navy blue shorts and red t-shirt was a triangle of material that I didn’t at first register what it was for. In my innocence I thought it must be some kind of shawl to keep me warm on the journey… that is until my mum arrived and told me exactly what it was for. I screamed and shouted in protest; “I didn’t want to wear a diaper.” “I was a big boy not a baby.” “I was too old to be in such a thing” or even worse “What would people say?” Bless her, my mum tried to calm me down and assured me that no-one else would know, it would be just me, her and dad… it would be our secret. She said all the correct things but I was still crying and refusing to let her put it on me… that was until my dad arrived saying we were late and to get a move on. I still protested but dad, who in all my 4 years on Earth had hardly ever raised his voice to me, never mind a hand, sat me down and explained why it had to be this way and there was no question about it. It was a company car for one and he took colleagues and visitors around in it and he couldn’t risk it not being anything but perfect for them (he was very car proud, constantly washing and cleaning it). He assured me that as soon as we reached our destination I could change back into my normal underwear but he was adamant, that on this occasion, I would put on what my mother had already sorted out for me to wear for the journey. He stood and watched as my mum fitted and pinned the thick terry towelling to a rather recalcitrant young man but in truth, once my shorts, t-shirt and jumper had been added no one else would have been able to tell that I was padded. Although I knew and I thought it felt really strange and uncomfortable but an argument would not be permitted, dad had made it clear that any more protest would not be tolerated. **** The journey to my aunts was quite long and we stopped for breaks and food along the way. Together with my dad, we went to the restrooms and he helped me skin down my shorts and ease my little penis past the leg holes of the diaper to pee. I was making a point… that I hadn’t really needed to be wearing this bulky item as I could be relied to get to the restroom in time if need be, However, I did fall asleep on the last leg of the trip and, on getting out of the car realised that I had, wet myself. Once at my aunties I was glad to see that at least my shorts didn’t show any evidence of what I’d done and I couldn’t wait to get to my room and change out of the increasing dampness that was clinging to my groin. I thought I might get away with it too but my mum followed me upstairs to unpin me and she saw my embarrassment. I wasn’t very wet but there was no denying what I’d done as my mother ran her hand over my soggy diaper. I was on the verge of crying again but she pulled me to her bosom and comforted me. Telling me what a good boy I’d been and saying that was what all the precautions were for… so not to worry. She quickly got me changed and I was soon wearing my little red nylon swimming trunks and eager to go out to play with my two cousins who were already splashing around in their little inflatable pool outside. My cousins, JJ (Jon Junior) was 6 and his younger brother Si (Simon) was the same age as me and we had a great time firing our water-pistols, throwing water over each other and generally doing what kids do. Our parents were out in the garden chatting and catching up and although we were constantly under their ever watchful eyes we were only called in once and that was to eat. Uncle Jon and my father had made a fantastic barbeque and we boys feasted on sausage and chicken and soda. It was a warm night but at 8 o’clock it was bedtime and the three of us reluctantly trooped in to get ready. Si and I went to the bathroom first to wash the sauce from our fingers and faces and mum came in to supervise we had cleaned everywhere. When we came out of the bathroom JJ was already lying naked on his bed and his mum was getting him ready but I was surprised to see that he was in the final throws of having a diaper put on. Once he was done she called Si to go over to her and he was similarly equipped, though a pair of clear plastic pants were put over his before his pajamas were pulled up over them all. I was shocked but the two boys didn’t seem to mind and suddenly I found myself similarly being diapered by my aunt. I was about to protest when my cousins told me to hurry up as they were waiting for their story. I’d not been sent to bed in a diaper for a long time so I was a little worried about it, especially when a pair of plastic pants was also added to my night time experience. When my mum arrived with my pajamas she could see what was happening and the worried look in my eyes but knew the other boys were already in their night time protection so decided not to make a fuss. I felt betrayed and the thickness around my bottom, as I climbed into bed with Si, only added to that feeling. However, Aunty Joan had told JJ and Si that my mum was going to tell them a story tonight but after that, it was lights out… and we were told in no uncertain terms… no fooling around until morning. My mum is a great story teller. In fact, Aunty Joan always said that even as a child (mum was the eldest by 2 years) she could make up a decent story in seconds. I was still none too happy but Si cuddled up close to me in his little single bed, JJ was on his own in one opposite, and mum began her tale of three rabbits, which just happened to be called JJ, Si and Les. It was a great story and we were all enthralled. Si clung to me for dear life as mum told of the perils these little rabbits got themselves into and we cheered when they escaped the clutches of the farmer and Foxy the Fox. When she’d finished she kissed us all goodnight, turned out the light and closed the door. JJ voiced the opinion that my mum was the ‘bestest story-teller ever’ and as Si held onto me he eagerly agreed. We must have quickly fallen asleep because the next thing I knew we were being roused to get up for breakfast. **** Aunty Joan came in and checked the boys to see if there had been any accidents in the night. JJ was dry but both Si and I had woken up with a soggy diaper so the plastic protection had been needed. “No more drinks after 6 o’clock for you boys” she said, as we realised that the huge glasses of cola we’d drunk had found their way into out diapers. Once all cleaned up and powdered (this was another new experience for me) it was back into out t-shirts and shorts, as after breakfast we all went down to the lake for more swimming, fishing, sun bathing and play. For the entire week we were there on vacation the days followed a similar pattern; we boys were kept busy and interested as we daily went on expeditions with one or all of our parents. Night times became the norm as well and I soon got used to being diapered for bed. As the nights had grown hotter we slept in just our diapers and sometimes, just before bedtime, we were allowed to stay up and watch TV a bit later than normal. We three lads would be laid out on the floor glued to the screen, naked but for our thick diapers, while our parents sat on the two available sofas and quietly chatted about whatever it was grown-ups found to talk about. I think my mum enjoyed seeing us kids dressed like that as she often patted our padded bottoms, whilst telling us how cute the three of us looked. Neither JJ nor I wet again but unfortunately Si did ever night. He always woke up soggy but he never leaked because both me and the bed were always dry. No one seemed to care and he was changed, lotioned and powdered (to prevent a rash Aunty Joan said) in front of us before donning his shorts for the day. **** It was a great week and I hardly thought about it when it was time to return home and I was required to be diapered once again for the journey. This time I didn’t make a fuss as I’d gotten used to it and as no one ever seemed to give it a second thought I also didn’t worry about being padded. In fact, I ‘d got quite comfortable wearing such a bulky piece of material between my legs on a night and as both Si and JJ took it as read that was the way everyone went to sleep… it was easy for me to accept it as well. Before I left Si had cried because we’d become great friends and he didn’t want me to leave as he said he’d miss me. Thoughtfully, mum had bought two new teddy bears, one for him and one for me so that we’d both have similar soft toys to sleep with and to remind us of each other. She also bought JJ a fabulous toy car to go with his collection, which he was really excited about receiving. I was a little sad myself as we waved our goodbyes but after only a couple of hours on the journey home I fell asleep clutching my new teddy bear. **** As he wanted to get home quickly, and I was fast asleep, dad didn’t need to stop once as we hurried along the highway. I woke up when were about 30 miles from home feeling more than a little damp. Dad looked in the mirror and told me we were almost there so I kept quiet but suddenly found I couldn’t hold it any longer and was peeing even more. The wetness spread but unfortunately I wasn’t wearing any plastic pants and a damp patch appeared on my shorts as we turned into our driveway. I dreaded the thought of having wet the seat but I rushed from the car and quickly followed mum into the house desperate to get my soaked diaper off. Mum saw the wet patch on my shorts and followed me to my room where she stripped me and told me to take a shower. Whilst I was doing that, she went and checked the rear seat of the car where I’d been sitting and reported back that it was dry and I wasn’t to worry. Relieved that I wouldn’t be in trouble with dad, I let my mum dry me off and before I was really aware of what was going on, she had powdered me and put me back into a lovely soft diaper, pulled on a pair of clear plastic pants, that I assumed must have been a spare pair of Si’s and told me I could either go straight to bed if I was tired or come down and watch TV for a while. Neither suggestion worried me and I cuddled up on the sofa wearing just my diaper and plastic pants as if this was the norm. That was it. From then on until I was ten years-old I wore diapers and plastic pants to travel in and most nights I wore them to sleep in. I didn’t wear them during the day for school or at weekends but at night I was now wrapped in a thick terry diapers, which mum took great pride in pinning tightly around me. It was all very comforting. Mum doing that, then telling me a new story or just chatting about what I’d done that day. She would make sure my teddy bear, the same type that Si had, was always with me and that last kiss goodnight made my world so much better. **** We visited my aunt and uncle at least once a year but they never came to us, Uncle Jon hated the city and was never keen to travel far from his home. When I was ten my mum and dad were off on a second honeymoon. I was told that when they got married they hadn’t been able to afford a real one so they had waited until they had enough money and would then celebrate in style. They went off to The Bahamas for two weeks without me but I was happy enough as I got to spend more time with JJ and Si. We still had a great time but the boys had grown up and neither now wore diapers for bed so I also wasn’t required to wear them either. At home I’d got into the habit of wearing them even though I couldn’t actually remember the last time I’d needed to use them for the purpose they were designed for. I just found it nice to be wrapped up like that and mum was happy with that choice. Anyway, I wasn’t at home now and my diapers were never unpacked and I wasn’t asked about them. It was just assumed I’d be like my cousins and wear normal big boy clothes. **** So, that was it. My parents returned home fully refreshed and looking even more in love than before and I was now grown up enough not to need any protection at night. I didn’t mind, I was ready to be a big boy but it came as a bit of a shock when, about 4 months later, mum told me I was about to have a baby brother or sister. I wasn’t sure what my reaction should be but as both her and my dad was so excited about it; I thought I should be as well. A few months after that I got my baby brother Joshua and there would be no doubt from then on I was to be the older, wiser and grown-up big brother. It was strange that all those thoughts came scrambling back into my head just because I’d caught sight of two children at the airport wearing diapers to travel in. The waiting at an airport had never seemed to go by as fast when I suddenly heard my name being called over the public address system. “The last and final call for passenger Mr Lee travelling on flight AA2003 to Los Angeles…” I quickly picked up my case and proceeded to the required gate feeling guilty about daydreaming and keeping everyone waiting. It wasn’t that bad and as I took my seat I couldn’t help getting the urge, when I got home, to buy some diapers and plastic pants and happily regress to a time when I felt my most happy. After all, no matter what our age… isn’t that what we all want to feel… HAPPY? **********$************
  21. I have found the largest baby diapers in the world! Being a diaper collector I have searched all over collecting the largest sizes in baby diaper lineups. They are called Darlings baby diapers. this is the size 7 (largest size they actually manufacture). They are rated at 24-36kg children, or the average 6-12 year old child. Measurements are the same as the GoodNites and DryNites size XL. They are manufactured in Kuwait and only available to the people of Kuwait. A great find for collectors! I have some sealed unopened packages of these Diapers as well as samples available for sale or trade. Would like to talk with other collectors whi collect the same kind of diapers. See images.
  22. A Second Chance

    This is a complete story about a young man forced into diapers by his step-mother after he messes up. A Second Chance Before I start this, I should note that my step-mother is not the evil woman I thought she was, and my younger step-sister is not the obnoxious little brat I remember when I was younger. In fact, despite giving them many years of grief and disrespect, they have treated me as family and loved me more than I deserve. My mom and dad were never married but did live together when I was little. I don’t remember very much about that time. After he left, I lived with my mom. I would get to see my dad on weekends, and the occasional week when my mom didn’t want me around. My parents passed me along like unwanted baggage, and I would end up staying with whatever parent had to take me in. My dad started dating Ashley when I was nine years old, and while Ashley was always very nice- she wasn’t my mother. I hated her and I hated her little daughter. Emily was four years younger than me, and just a little Kindergartener. I thought she was just a little kid who was stealing my dad. Part of the problem was that my dad treated Emily has a daughter. Emily’s father had been killed when she as very young, and my dad was the man she knew as a father. I was jealous because she got my dad all the time, while I could only see him on weekends. I was also jealous because their house was nicer than my mom’s home. It was bigger, and Emily had more toys than I had growing up. It wasn’t fair. And it was a nicer She lived full-time with my dad, and I was jealous that this relative stranger got to have my dad all to herself, while I lived in a smaller house and only got to see him on weekends. It wasn’t just their house that was nicer. For example, I used to wet my bed when I was younger.I guess my dad wet the bed when he was young as well, so it was something that I inherited from him. My mom hated it, and would yell, punish, and even humiliate me because of it. She never put me in diapers, but she threatened to get some diapers for me many times. Ashley was never mean about it. She made sure my mattress was protected and would help me get clean in the morning.I would feel bad and apologize because I was used to my mom getting mad about it. But Ashley would just say, “That’s ok. I know you aren’t doing it on purpose.” Emily was fully potty trained before I even knew her, which was another reason that I hated her. It was embarrassing to have a little sister completely potty trained, while I still wet my bed. Despite that, Emily never teased me about it, and Ashley never yelled at me. Unfortunately, my dad had to travel a lot, and I didn’t get see him as much. If my dad was out of town, I didn’t come over for the weekend. I started to rebel against everything as a teenager. I didn’t like my dad not spending time with me, and took it out on the whole family, especially Ashley. I was rude, and wouldn’t listen to her. I don’t think I said three words to her for the four years I was in high school. I graduated from high school, but only barely. I couldn’t get a full-time job and didn’t want to go back to school. I spent most of my days playing video games and doing drugs. I didn’t have very many friends, and the few that I had grew up and moved on.At nineteen my mom got tired of my bullshit and kicked me out, and with no place else to go I moved in with my dad and Ashley. There was a still a lot of conflicts. My dad wanted me to go back to school, or find some kind of job, but I wasted every single opportunity I had. My dad got me a job in Alaska, but I was fired for smok