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Preface: writing my first coming of age story loosely based on my real experiences growing up as a bedwetter. Names and timeline are fictional or moved around for narrative purposes, but most of the story detail has some basis in my childhood. Chapter 1: Just in Case July, 2020 “Ryan, let’s go we’re going to be late!” yelled his father from the first floor of their suburban Chicagoland home. Recently -turned-9 year old Ryan Santos mentally prepared to groggily pull himself out of bed. It was 5am, and he and his family were slated to leave in an hour for his first major family vacation in over a year: a 6 hour drive to spend the weekend in St. Louis, Missouri. Originally, to celebrate his birthday, the family trip was to fly to the Philippines and reunite with extended family that Ryan’s parents had left almost a decade and a half prior. Due to the pandemic and subsequent travel restrictions, those plans were scrapped, but his mother Linda saw this as a perfect opportunity to visit the city of St. Louis, a place she had been enamored with since childhood during a trip to the states back in the 90s. The interstate travel restrictions were also easing up as lockdowns became less strict and social distancing became the norm. While not rich, Ryan was fairly well off as an only child in an upper middle class neighborhood. Both of parents worked in the medical field: his father, Jerry, worked in hospital administration and Linda worked as a nurse. With the pandemic, their workload went into overdrive, but they managed to carve out some free time over the weekend to go on this vacation and blow off some steam. Nonetheless, Jerry was often strict and regimented when it came to schedules, even on a vacation, sometimes adding tension to family outings in the past. Linda entered the bedroom and saw Ryan still in his red pajamas in bed, the covers halfway down to his legs. He shifted around in his sleep frequently, causing his shirt to roll up a few inches above his belly to reveal the blue waistband of his Goodnites, and he noticed his favorite Tigger stuffed animal was knocked on the ground and somehow made it into the crevice between his bed and nightstand. “Anak, you know how your father is, don’t make him ask twice please,” she said tactfully. “Okay, I’m getting up already,” Ryan replied as he got out of bed. He had been awake for about 25 minutes already, but had been dreading leaving the comfort of his bed. As he sat up, he noted the tension in his lower abdomen but thought nothing of it as he got to his knees on the floor and bent over to reach for his stuffed animal. His slender frame made it easy to get between his bed and the nightstand. Mid reach, he released his bladder and felt his already swollen Goodnites become warm again. His stream concluded as he stood up and faced his mother. Ryan had wet the bed every night his entire life, and despite recently turning 9, it showed no signs of stopping, despite his mother and doctor saying it would stop itself eventually. While he wouldn’t prefer to have this problem, it wasn’t a big deal to him or his immediate family; his nightly donning of protective undergarments was simply a normal part of life. None of his friends knew, and he preferred to keep it that way, often bowing out of invitations to sleepovers and overnight extracurriculars, though he would like to experience those one day. While he didn’t necessarily potty train late, he did achieve it with literal days prior to starting preschool, and even then he still had frequent accidents up through kindergarten. His frustrated father threatened to send him to school in diapers on multiple occasions but never followed through with it. By age 6, Ryan was in control of his body, save for the nightly accidents that were remedied by his mother’s weekly grocery run for Goodnites. Ever since he was little, he had made a habit of using his Goodnites while still awake, both before and after bedtime, something that his mom called him out on occasionally, but usually wouldn’t notice. While embarrassed, Ryan would internally justify it as they would be wet either way, might as well use them for the intended purpose. “Get ready soon! We’re trying to leave in the next 30 minutes, we’re putting the maleta in the van soon,” Linda said with her usual hint of Filipino accent mixed with Taglish. He obeyed by making his way to the bathroom down the hall to brush his teeth and prepare for the day. He pulled down his pants and pulled down his heavy, soggy Goodnite and placed it in the trash bin with a thud. He got dressed with a souvenir shirt with the Canadian maple leaf logo and put on some normal underwear and sweat pants before meeting his mom at the foyer of his house, Tigger in hand. His mother had packed most of the family’s clothes and belongings into one massive leather suitcase that she had brought when they first immigrated to America. She prided herself in fitting a family vacation’s worth of clothes into one bag, even if it was only for a weekend. She asked her son a question as he placed his stuffed animal in the suitcase, taking inventory of toiletries before zipping it up. “How many pull ups do you have left in the bathroom?” “I dunno, like 3 left I think? They’re already in the bag,” he answered as he noted 3 Goodnites already zipped up in a mesh compartment. “Go get them,” she ordered. “What? Why? Isn’t this enough for the weekend trip?” “Just bring them,” she said bluntly. “Just in case.” “Okay,” Ryan said with a shrug as he ran up to the bathroom upstairs. Not sure what that’s supposed to mean, he thought as he got the got the last 3 from the pack and threw the plastic package wrap in the trash. He walked down the stairs and handed the Goodnites to his mother, who zipped them up in the mesh pocket with the other toiletries. After doing a final check, she zipped up the suitcase and had Ryan load it into the back of their silver Honda Odyssey. “Make sure the top is easy to access,” she specified as he loaded it into the trunk. Ryan proceeded to hop in the back seat with the snack bag, and enjoyed the Nesquik chocolate milk he traditionally had in a travel mug. His father started the van and typed in the address of the fancy hotel on the Illinois side of the Mississippi River that they would be staying at. His mom entered the car, checking the glove compartment to make sure their emergency supply of medical masks was still there after they became mandatory in most public establishments. Jerry looked back at his son as he backed out of the driveway and turned to Linda. “Is he wearing his nappies?” He asked her not so subtly. Ryan cringed internally; he hated when his dad called them that, not that the term “diapers” was much better. He considered the term infantilizing, even if the term reflected how his parents grew up overseas using different lingo. He appreciated that his mom simply called them pull ups, but the mere mention of them in general outside the house always made him a little self conscious. He knew why his dad was asking: while he never had to wear them on car trips before, the idea was always floated after multiple close calls in past road trips that resulted in emergency bathroom runs to gas stations, restaurants, and rest stops for Ryan to relieve himself, further delaying their trip. Deep down, Ryan almost wanted to wear them for that specific reason, but quickly pushed the idea out of his head as the embarrassment was too much. He had always been insecure about his weak bladder, but he hated it most when his parents brought it up in casual conversations. “No, he’s not,” Linda answered with a hint of annoyance. “Not yet.” Yet? Ryan thought as he downed the last of his chocolate milk. He didn’t think much of it as he looked out the window and saw his suburb turn into countryside as his family began their drive south. Within about 30 minutes, the familiar tension in his lower torso appeared, causing Ryan to dread that he still had over 5 hours left of the trip. Chapter 2: Not quite a bathroom break “What is it, Ryan?” Jerry said with a hint of frustration as he noticed his son squirming in his seat as he looked into the rearview mirror. “Um…” Ryan stammered as he dreaded asking the next question. “I… have to go to the bathroom.” Jerry clicked his mouth and sighed angrily. They had been on the road for a little over 45 minutes and had successfully beat the traffic rush to the interstate by leaving early, but stopping now would negate that progress. “Sorry,” Ryan added sheepishly. “You should have gone before we left!” His father said as they continued driving. “Please?” The young boy squeaked as he felt the tension worsening. He noted that he technically did relieve himself just before they left right after he woke up, just not necessarily in the bathroom. “Why do you always do this?” Jerry said with an eye roll. “Jerry!” Linda said with a slight scowl to her spouse. “We’ll try to stop soon honey, just hang in there.” “Okay,” Ryan said as he felt a bead of sweat form. His mother looked up and saw that a rest stop was only 2 miles ahead, but her hopes were soon dashed as a “REST STOP CLOSED” sticker was placed on the sign, a further indication of the majority of public rest stops being shut down due to the pandemic. The following sign saying that the next rest stop wouldn’t be up for another 45 miles didn’t help. Another 5 minutes went by as Ryan continued to squirm, trying to distract himself with the near featureless midwestern countryside. “There!” Linda said as she noted an exit sign saying there was a Shell gas station and an old diner a couple miles ahead. “We could use a top off on the gas anyway,” she remarked, despite the tank being 3/4 full. Reluctantly, Jerry shifted into the right lane and proceeded to take the exit ramp when it came up. After about a mile, they pulled into the parking lot of the gas station and Jerry exited the van to pay at the gas pump, only to get a notification “SEE CASHIER INSIDE” as he swiped his card. Annoyed, he grabbed a mask from the glove box and headed inside the store, noticing a line of other masked people standing 6 feet apart who were already pulled up at other pumps. Ryan quickly unbuckled his seatbelt and prepared to open the van sliding door when his mother stopped him. “Honey,” she said sweetly. Ryan turned to her with desperation on his face as he wondered what was so important that his mom had to say. “I know this is going to sound strange, but I don’t want you using the bathroom here.” “What?” Ryan said in disbelief. “What do you mean?” “Your father and I talked about it last night: we really don’t trust the public bathrooms out here, especially on the interstate. There’s so many people who might be sick using those bathrooms who probably don’t wash their hands, and they could be spreading Covid.” “But the sign right there says they deep clean and disinfect it every hour!” He replied as he pointed to one of the signs at the gas station window. “I know it says that honey, but you never can trust those. Plus, you might run into a whole lot of people from all over the country who might have Covid but they’re asymptomatic and are just spreading it to everyone. You don’t want to get sick like you did last Christmas, do you?” Ryan thought back to this past winter where he spent the majority of his Christmas break bedridden and battling a fever, taking the fun of the holidays away in the process. He couldn’t really argue with his mom, as he knew he had a history of a weak immune system, and he over heard his parents the past few months constantly lamenting about the overwhelming amount of the horrifically ill patients they saw everyday in the hospitals they worked at. Ryan sighed as he struggled to keep composure at the mounting pressure in his bladder. “What do you want me to do? Go in the grass by the parking lot like a dog where everyone can see me?” “No, not that…” his mother tried to think of a way to bring it up delicately. “Your father and I were thinking the easiest and safest way for you to go to the bathroom would be if you went to the maleta…” Ryan blinked nervously as he started to realize what his mother was suggesting. “…and put on one of your pull ups… and used those.” Ryan wasn’t sure how to respond to that. The notion of it was so deathly embarrassing, but he also considered running to the gas station bathroom, which on the other hand, might actually result in him catching Covid and ending up as another pandemic statistic at a hospital. “You can put them on in the van so it’s a little more private. Even if you have to go number 2, I can help you clean up,” she concluded. “Mom!” He snapped. “I don’t have to go number 2.” He thought about making a break for the bathroom, then ultimately decided against it after realizing he’d likely get an earful from his dad later for disobeying his mother. He looked around the gas station parking lot and saw other families with kids walking around: some his age, some older, some younger. It’s not like I’ll see these kids ever again anyway, he thought. “Fine,” he said defeated. “I’ll be right back,” his mother said sweetly as she exited the front passenger seat and made her way to the trunk of the Odyssey. She unzipped the suitcase and pulled out one of Ryan’s Goodnites, as well as a package of Pampers baby wipes as Ryan hid in the backseat and crouched down to try to stay clear of the windows, mortified if one of the other kids saw his mom with his pull-ups in hand. She opened the sliding door and handed him the pull up, which he reluctantly grabbed and popped back behind the seat as he closed the door. His hands began shaking as his desperation reached a breaking point, making his fine motor skills jerky as he took his shoes off and quickly pulled his pants and briefs down. He crouched extra low as he opened up the Goodnite and slipped it on, barely in time as he began to relieve himself with an audible hiss. Ryan breathed a relieved sigh as he felt the familiar sensation of his pull up filling with the warm liquid and causing it to expand. He figured it felt different than the other times he had gone on purpose either just before bed or after waking up, probably because his mother had not only given him explicit permission, but encouragement to do so. After about a minute, Ryan finished, noticing how heavy it sagged and swole up. While it did feel very toddler like, it wasn’t as bad or embarrassing as he thought it would be. He began to get up from his crouching position on the floor by the back seat when his mom pulled open the side door. “Oh! Sorry, I thought you were in the very back row,” she exclaimed as the pantsless Ryan had his wet pull up on full display. He prayed the group of kids playing in the grass about 50 feet away didn’t see him in this state. Ryan jumped in the back row of seats where he was relatively out of view of the open door. “Are you done?” “Yes,” he answered his mother quickly. “Are you sure?” “YES!” He said annoyed. “Just making sure,” she said nonchalantly. She held up the package of baby wipes. “You got this?” “Yes mom,” he said as he grabbed the pack. “Can you please close the door?” Without another word, Linda shut the sliding door and Ryan crouched down in the back most seat row. He shimmied off the Goodnite as it made an audible plop on the floor of the van. He did a quick once over with the baby wipe before putting his underwear and pants back on, followed by his shoes. Soon, his mom opened the sliding door again. “All good?” “Yes,” Ryan answered quietly. She looked down at the wet pull up on the floor of the car. “Do you want me to throw that away for you?” Ryan hesitated, not sure if his mom holding his waste was more embarrassing or if he would rather take care of it himself. Eventually, he made a decision. “Can you take it please?” He asked, too ashamed to leave the perceived safety of the van. “Of course,” Linda said with a smile to try to cheer her son up. She rolled up the wet pull up, reminding her of the times when Ryan was a toddler. Noticing the trash can next to the gas pump was full, she began to walk towards the edge of the parking lot by the grass. Ryan began to turn red as he realized she was going to throw it away in the trash can right in front of where the other kids his age were running and playing. She promptly threw it away and proceeded to rub her hands with hand sanitizer as she walked back to the van. Opening the front passenger door, she noticed Ryan staring out the opposite window, still as red as an apple, trying to watch the other cars at the gas station to take his mind off his embarrassing ordeal. “You okay, anak?” She asked. “I’m great, just great,” he mumbled as he saw a mother exit a pick up truck with her toddler age daughter in her arms. She proceeded to lay her down on a mat on the tailgate of the truck, lifted her skirt up, and proceeded to change her diaper. In a way, Ryan almost envied how unashamed and not self conscious the little girl was and how her situation just mirrored his own. Soon, Jerry returned from the cashier line and proceeded to fill the car up quickly. He sat back in the driver seat and began to drive back onto the country road leading to the interstate. “Did he go?” He asked his wife over some country music playing on the radio. Ryan could still hear the conversation. “Yes, he did. Took him a minute, but he did.” “Is he wearing one now? I don’t want to make stops every 45 minutes or we’ll be on the road all day.” “No, he’s not. He’s still warming up to it,” she defended. “He’s done with his chocolate milk so he probably won’t have to go for a while now that he has nothing else to drink.” Jerry visibly wasn’t very happy with the answer. “I’ll have him put one on next stop,” she relented. Chapter 3: Traffic Overflow Author’s Note: we’re 3 chapters in and I just realized I should probably provide translations of the infrequent Tagalog vocabulary used: - Anak = child - Maleta= suitcase - Sige na: an expression that loosely translates to “come on” I’ll probably post these as needed for each chapter. Back to the story: The next couple hours of the trip went by fairly uneventfully as the Santos family made their way through central Illinois. Ryan had his sketchbook and colored pencils to keep him entertained by drawing custom Mandalorian armor and other Star Wars characters, while making sure to bring his liquid intake to practically zero so as to not repeat his experience at the gas station. His parents listened to podcasts and audiobooks to pass the time, noting that they were approaching lunchtime and were due to reach the historic state capital of Springfield in less than half an hour. It was a particularly hot summer day, and Linda began to notice that Ryan had not drank anything since the chocolate milk he had this morning. “Ryan, Anak, are you thirsty? Why don’t you have some water or Gatorade?” “I’m good, thanks mom,” Ryan fibbed. He was definitely a little parched after not drinking anything the past couple of hours. “Sige na! It’s all there in the cooler, we’re only about 15 minutes away from getting lunch.” “Okay, I guess,” he acquiesced. Ryan grabbed a red Gatorade and took a sip, which quickly turned into him chugging half the bottle after realizing how thirsty he was. Soon, they reached Springfield, and pulled off the exit to streets adorned with Abraham Lincoln tributes and paraphernalia. They reached a McDonald’s and pulled into the parking lot, stretching their legs and preparing to enter the restaurant. “I’m going to the bathroom if you want to watch the car,” Jerry said as he went inside after giving his wife a kiss. “Okay! I’ll go when you come back and then we’ll hit the drive through,” She responded as she walked to the opened back of the van. “Can I go too?” Ryan asked. “You need to already?” Linda asked as she began to open the giant suitcase. Before she could open the toiletries pocket, Ryan interjected when he realized what she was doing. “No, wait! I mean, can’t I go in the restaurant with dad and use their bathroom?” “Honey, we went over this,” his mom answered with a tone of empathy. “How come you and dad can go use the bathroom there and I can’t? Aren’t you afraid of getting sick?” He protested. “Oh it’s different. Your dad and I work at the hospital, and we’ve already been exposed to Covid, and even if we do get sick, it wouldn’t hit us as hard as it would you. You know how easy it is for you to get sick- you miss a week of school almost every year from the flu with your immune system issues,” his mom explained. “I guess,” Ryan sighed in defeat. He was notorious at school for getting sick easily, sometimes getting picked on when he would return to class, and despite getting fairly high grades, he often felt like he was playing catch up on class work to make up the difference. When he got sick, it almost always hit hard. “Do you still need to go?” Linda asked as took a pull up out. “No I’m good,” he replied. “You sure?” “Yes I can hold it!” Ryan insisted. “Okay,” she said somewhat defensively. Instead of putting the pull up back, Ryan noticed she put it in her purse along with the wipes. Jerry soon returned and traded spots with Linda, and they shortly all were back in the van and in line for the drive through. Eating out was a special treat for Ryan as his parents were both into eating home cooked healthy food the majority of the year. Ryan could count on one hand how many times he’s had McDonald’s the past couple years, with the most recent being his 9th birthday, where in a rare show of affection, his dad treated him to his first Big Mac instead of the kids menu he would typically get in the past. After ordering and receiving their food, the family pulled into the parking lot and ate in the van together, another social distancing precaution that was all too familiar as they travelled in the pandemic. Ryan was the first to finish his Big Mac meal, quickly devouring the burger and guzzling the orange Hi-C drink. Fully satisfied but unaccustomed to the greasy meal, he began to grow lethargic, letting out a long yawn as his parents finished their food. Linda noticed this and saw an opportunity before they hit the road. “Why don’t you take a nap, sleepy head?” She asked. “It’s the last leg of the trip, we’re only about 2 hours away from the hotel, and I know you’ve been up since before the sunrise.” “Yeah, I guess I will,” Ryan answered as he stifled another yawn. He saw his mother dig into her purse and take out the pull up. He was already expecting this and didn’t mind as he’d already worn one on car trips in the past when he was asleep, which was usually only the first leg. Now, it was a little strange since his mom was insisting on him wearing one the entirety of the trip. “You sure you don’t need to go before we leave? It’ll be easier to change if we’re stopped instead of sitting in a wet one the remainder of the trip. If you can hold it, you can use the bathroom at our hotel room- I’ll make sure to deep clean and disinfect it before any of us use it… but your father and I both think it’s best if you wear one now.” “I’ll put it on now since I want to sleep,” Ryan relented as he grabbed the pull up from his mother, “but I don’t need to go right now.” “That’s a first,” Jerry mumbled. Linda shot him a mean look and turned back to her son. “Thanks so much for making things easier anak! We’ll get whatever you want for dinner at the hotel when we get there.” Ryan moved to the back most seat for privacy as he put the pull up on. His parents patiently scrolled through their phones as he finished up getting dressed and hopped back in his seat. They continued on with their journey as they left Springfield and merged back onto the interstate, but for the first 20 minutes Ryan struggled to fall asleep as the all too familiar urge hit his bladder once again. He shifted his position in his seat to ease the pressure on his lower body, and contemplated asking his parents to use the restroom once again, only to remember what he was wearing. Instead, Ryan relaxed and proceeded to wet a moderate amount in his pull up, barely causing it to swell between his legs. Now at ease and comfortable, Ryan was able to drift off to sleep within 5 minutes. After what felt like only about 30 minutes, Ryan awoke to notice that they were stuck in bumper to bumper traffic. He checked the clock and realized he was out for a little over 2 hours, especially evidenced by the fact he noticed his pull up was significantly more full than what it was when he drifted off to sleep. “Where are we? Are we almost to the hotel?” He asked after a yawn. “We’re in Belleville,” his dad answered. “And we were 8 minutes away from the hotel according to the GPS, but that was 45 minutes ago before we ran into traffic.” “Looks like there’s a car accident about half a mile ahead,” his mom added. “We should be getting out soon though.” Ryan groaned. He was ready for the road-trip to be over. He felt another urge to pee hit his bladder, which he let loose almost immediately. Definitely feeling that large Hi-C and Gatorade, he thought, and for once was thankful he was wearing Goodnites in situations like this. “Ugh this traffic needs to ease up soon, I need to get out of this car,” Linda remarked as she sipped the last of her water bottle and turned up the A/C. She noticed how much her husband was sweating and offered him a water bottle from the cooler, to which he enthusiastically accepted. She got a second one and gave handed it towards Ryan. “Anak, drink this! I don’t need you getting heat stroke. I’m not taking no for an answer.” Ryan obeyed without question and quickly drank the water bottle until it was empty. He wanted out of this traffic jam just as much if not more than his mom. After another 20 minutes, he released another quick stream into his pull up almost absent-mindedly. Another half hour of traffic passed, where Ryan zoned out, too hot and bored to continue his drawings, when he thoughtlessly let out another steady trickle, when he felt a warm liquid run down his pant leg, causing him to stop mid stream. Oh no, he thought as he snapped back to his current reality. He lifted open the front of his waistband to view the front of his pull up, which had become visibly over saturated. He lifted up his leg and felt the seat of his pants and noticed it was slightly damp, and not from sweat. “Um… mom?” “Yes, anak?” “I kind of… have to go to the bathroom.” “Just use your pull up, honey. It’s okay.” “Um, I can’t,” Ryan said awkwardly. “What do you mean you can’t?” His dad asked. Linda turned around in her seat to face her son. “I’m kind of… wet,” Ryan mumbled, trying to avoid eye contact with his mother who now realized his predicament. “What do you- “ , Jerry glanced back and groaned. “That better not have gotten on the seat.” “Jerry!” Linda exclaimed. “I’m sorry,” Ryan mumbled in embarrassment. “It’s okay Anak, it’s not your fault. We just need to be more careful with the juice in the future,” consoled his mom. She reached into her purse and realized she had already given him the pull up she packed earlier. “Do you think I have time to get to the maleta?” “Traffic’s finally starting to move, we’re less than 10 minutes out from the hotel. He can wait,” Jerry said. “Sorry honey, do you think you can hold out for a little longer?” “I- I think so,” Ryan said, still needing to empty the rest of his bladder. Sure enough, traffic on the interstate began to accelerate after passing the scene of a multi car pile up. Thankfully no one appeared to be injured, though the spread of debris and the number of cars involved definitely accounted for the lengthy delay. Within a few minutes, the van arrived at the Snowden hotel, a small but fancy hotel located between the town and a stone’s throw from St. Louis. Jerry parked the van and put on a mask as he rushed inside to check in. Linda exited the car to stretch her legs, and Ryan got out of his seat, but stopped short of exiting the van out of fear that someone would see his wet pants. After what felt like an eternity, Jerry came back with the key cards while Linda escorted Ryan inside, power walking through the hotel corridors to get to their room. By this point, Ryan was hobbling from left to right, feeling like he was about to burst. Instinctively, he covered his groin area and quickly let go after feeling the dampness seep out through his pull up and onto his sweatpants. His mother was finally able to swipe the door open with the key card, causing Ryan to almost push his way into the hotel room and make a beeline for the bathroom. “Wait!” His mom interjected, causing Ryan to stop dead in his tracks with a look of dejection on his face. “What now?” He asked as Linda reached into her purse. She pulled out an aerosol spray and disinfectant wipes and stepped towards the bathroom. “Let me clean it first, you never know if they wiped down all the surfaces for Covid,” his mother stated as she spent the next 2 minutes doing a quick clean of the toilet, countertop, shower, and sink. Unfortunately for Ryan, it was 2 minutes too long as he accidentally let out another jet of urine into his pull up. This time, he crouched down to try to get the pool of it to absorb in the back as it was significantly less saturated than the front. After relieving most of the pressure, he was able to hold it. “Okay, you’re good,” she said as she stepped out. With a dejected lesser urgency, Ryan pulled his wet pants and pull up down with a thud and tried to pee, but could only let out a weak stream that lasted no more than a couple seconds. He covered his mouth and nose as he dropped his soaked pull up into the trash can under the sink. Ryan noticed the bottom edge of his shirt had also been slightly wet and proceeded to take that off before stepping into the shower. While he was in the bathroom, his dad entered the hotel room with the giant suitcase. After giving him a few minutes in the shower, Linda cracked the bathroom door open and left a fresh change of clothes, including normal underwear, on the countertop for her son. As he wrapped up his shower, Ryan pondered on the day, noting that while being in wet clothes for several minutes was uncomfortable, he was at least thankful his pull up was able to hold up for at least the first couple of hours of the final leg of the trip. He thought about how careless he was chugging all that water, juice, and Gatorade in such a short span of time; no wonder he was able to flood it towards the end. It wasn’t my fault, he thought. Mom said so. Ryan put on his fresh set of clothes, consisting of basketball shorts and a Spider-Man shirt, but most of all appreciating the feeling of dry underwear. His parents followed suit, spending the next hour freshening up in the shower and changing into new outfits to go out for dinner. As he waited, Ryan turned the TV on to the classic SpongeBob episode “Grandma’s kisses.” As if the universe was taunting him, an ad for Pampers Baby Dry diapers played during the commercial break, boasting about its superior absorbency compared to competitor brands. Honestly could’ve used that earlier, he thought as his dad entered the bathroom as his mom exited. Before long, Ryan and his parents made their way to the lobby where the renowned hotel restaurant was. Much to everyone’s chagrin, instead of a hostess, the family encountered a “closed” sign, followed by the reduced hours of the hotel restaurant due to Covid mitigations. “You’ve got to be kidding me! It’s barely dinner time! What were we supposed to do? Eat dinner at 3 in the afternoon?” Jerry complained to the front desk. “I’m sorry sir, we had to close early due to state mandates. Unfortunately, most, if not all, of the other restaurants in the area are closed now as well. If we can make it up to you and your family, there are grab and go prepared meals that are available at the mini convenience store around the corner down the hallway,” said the short blonde desk attendant. Too tired from the trip to make another argument, Jerry yielded. “I suppose since it’s complimentary,” he mumbled. “Excellent! There’s a self checkout at the stand, but if you charge it to your room number, I’ll make sure to take it off the bill for you,” she said in her most cheerful customer service voice. Jerry thanked her and proceeded to direct his family to the mini store. He and Linda both got salads, with Ryan taking a ham and turkey sandwich. The family brought their food up to their room, eating quickly as everyone was ready for an early night of sleep, eager to end this draining day. What a way to start this weekend, Ryan thought as he put on his pajamas and once again pulled on one of his Goodnites. Soon, he drifted off to sleep, hoping the next day would be better. Chapter 4: Arches and Shortages Ryan felt as if he was in a daze, dizzy and not quite coherent as he laid in bed. The room was still dark, save for the orange light of the street lamp outside his window, and his vision was hazy as if he were in a half dream like state. The sensation of his equilibrium being thrown off and the room spinning made him close his eyes silently and groan. His lower half of his body felt warm, and an odd, pungent scent filled the air. Suddenly, he felt as if his blanket was being pulled away, and he blindly began feeling around for it, only to feel his Tigger plush move into his reach, to which he grabbed the stuffed animal and hugged it to his face. He began to stir a little as he felt the sensation of his pajama pants being pulled off. “It’s okay Anak,” the familiar voice of his mother said softly. His head continued to pound as he felt the sides of his pull up being ripped open and his ankles held together and raised as the cool sensation of a wet wipe radiated around his lower body. After a couple minutes of the cool air and wiping sensation, he heard the telltale crinkling of one of his Goodnites being opened up, and he felt the elastic and padding make its way up his legs and onto his hips. The strong smell went away, and Ryan turned onto his side and drifted into a deep sleep once again. Rays of the morning sun shined through the hotel window and greeted Ryan’s face, causing him to wake up and realize he was in the hotel bedroom. He rubbed his eyes and immediately noticed something was amiss. Not only did he still feel a little dizzy, but he sat up in his bed and pulled the covers down to show that he was no longer wearing his pajama pants, and beyond that, his typical wet pull up felt… different. He pivoted out of bed, and the moment he stood up, the strange smell from last night hit him as he felt a semi-solid mass on the seat of his pull up, causing him to glance down at his nighttime underwear and spread his legs for a better angle to confirm his suspicion. I can’t believe I just did that, he thought. He turned to the other queen bed in the room and noticed both his parents were gone, but his mother stepped out of the bathroom in her bathrobe and wished her son a good morning. “Ummm… mom?” “Yes honey?” She noticed the distraught look on his face. “Are you okay?” “Please don’t be mad… but I think I…” Ryan could barely get his words out. “Did you poop?” She asked bluntly. “Ummm… yeah, I think so,” Ryan answered sheepishly . His mom walked up to him and immediately pulled the rear waistband of his Goodnites open for a quick peak. “Yep, you definitely did again,” she said nonchalantly. “Again?” He said. That wasn’t a dream? Linda grabbed the baby wipes that were sitting atop the nearby dresser, and before Ryan could react, she pulled down his Goodnites and began to clean the mess off of his bottom as he stood there, too unsure of how to act at the abruptness of his mom. He caught a quick glance of the mostly mostly liquid waste at the seat of his full pull up, and became disgusted at what his body had produced. “It’s not your fault, Anak. The hotel sold us expired food. We should’ve read the expiration dates on the packages before we ate. Thankfully I was okay, but your dad was throwing up all morning. He’s complaining to the manager at the front desk right now. We’re not staying the weekend here; we’re actually planning to just head home today, but we will do a quick visit to the Arch so it’s not a wasted trip,” she explained. “Okay,” Ryan replied as his mother continued to wipe his rear end like a toddler. “Can we at least close the curtains?” “Oh don’t worry Anak, we’re on the second floor. Don’t be embarrassed, this isn’t the first time I’ve had to clean you up like this,” she responded matter-of-factly. She finished wiping and put the soiled pull up and baby wipes in a plastic grocery bag and tied it up before throwing it in the hotel trash bin. “Go hop in the shower! I’ll have your clothes ready on the bed. Your dad should be almost done checking out and we can finish packing the maleta so we can go see the Arch.” Ryan quickly hopped in the shower, ruminating about his situation. That was embarrassing, he thought. You literally just crapped your pants like a toddler, and not only that, mom cleaned me up like one too… but she said it’s not my fault… it was the food! The McDonald’s from yesterday probably didn’t help either. Yeah, that’s it. It was a one off thing. Definitely a one off thing. He finished his shower and dried off, wrapping his towel around his waist as he headed towards the bed to grab the clothes his mom provided. Ryan’s eyes froze as he immediately noticed that on top of his folded Star Wars shirt and khaki cargo pants was one of his Goodnites. He turned to the giant suitcase on the floor and saw his mom zip it shut as she finished packing. “Mom, do I really have to wear one out again?” “Yes, honey, don’t you remember what we talked about yesterday? We don’t want you getting sick from the bathrooms at the Arch. Plus, we’re planning on hitting the road immediately after so we can get home before it gets too dark,” she explained. “Also… since the food last night made you sick, I’d rather you wear one in case you… have an accident again.” “But I feel fine mom!” Ryan fibbed. He did still feel a little woozy, but not as bad as last night. “And it only happened once!” “Twice,” Linda corrected. “I think you were asleep when I changed you for the first time.” “But mom,” he whined. “I don’t want to argue, Ryan,” she raised her voice slightly, her son getting the hint that she wouldn’t change her mind. “I don’t want to deal with your poopy underwear if we can avoid it.” “Fine, okay,” Ryan said curtly as he turned red. A knock at the door announced that housekeeping had arrived, to which Linda responded for the maid to come in. This took Ryan off guard as he held his towel tightly to his body as the housekeeper made her way in. She did a quick inspection of the state of the room when her nose visibly twitched under her face mask, to which she immediately made her way to the trash bin containing Ryan’s soiled Goodnites. Without a word, she made her way to the trash and replaced the liner. As she passed, Ryan darted to the bed with his clothes and pull up and held it close to his body. He swiftly made his way to the bathroom to change in privacy, starting with begrudgingly putting on his pull up. Within a couple of minutes, the housekeeper was out of the room, and Linda began getting dressed for the day. Jerry finally arrived back and took the giant suit case and smaller bags back to the car. He returned to the room just as Linda finished up and Ryan exited the bathroom. “Ready to go?” His father said enthusiastically, eager to conclude this snafu of a vacation. “Yep!” Ryan said. “I’ll pull the van up to the front,” he said as he grabbed the keys. “We’ll meet you down there in a second,” his wife responded. She turned to Ryan as Jerry left the room. “Are your pull ups on?” “I have them on,” he grumbled, avoiding her gaze. “Let me check,” she said as she tugged at his shorts waistband to see the telltale top of his pull up. “Good! Why don’t you try going potty one last time? It might be a while until we find another that’s clean and safe.” “Fine,” Ryan said quietly as he entered the bathroom. The way she said “try going potty” not too long after cleaning up his messy pull up really irked him, as if his mother was going out of her way to baby him. He managed to let out a quick stream and finished up in the bathroom after washing his hands. He accompanied his mother to the lobby where the family van was waiting outside. Before long, the family was on their way to St. Louis. Within a few minutes, they crossed into Missouri and were at the base of the famous Arch. Linda turned to Ryan as they prepared to exit the car. “How’s your stomach, Anak?” “Better,” he answered, though it did still feel noticeably bubbly, but not enough for him to be concerned. “Good! Do you think you can handle a banana? I don’t want to give you something to upset it, but I don’t want you walking around on an empty stomach either,” she said, handing him the fruit from the snack bag. “I guess,” Ryan said as he grabbed the banana and began to peel it. His appetite was barely there, but he didn’t want to fight his mother on it as he finished the fruit. “Alright, let’s get to the top of this arch,” Jerry said as he led his family towards the museum entrance at the base. Ryan looked up in awe at the Arch, distracted as he walked behind his parents. Jerry turned to Linda. “Is he wearing his nappies?” “Yes, I made sure,” she confirmed. “As much as I don’t want to deal with dirty diapers.” “It’s better than throwing out dirty clothes,” Jerry remarked. Soon, they fell in line for tickets to access the museum and the arch itself. Ryan started feeling pressure in his bladder, but rather than bother his parents about it, he simply went in his pull up. When they got their tickets, the Santos family perused the museum, reading displays depicting the story of Lewis and Clark and their expedition with Sacajawea. They fell in line to access the elevator to get to the top of the Arch, which was moving slower than usual due to limitations on the number of people they’d allow to go to the top as a Covid precaution. While Jerry was distracted checking social media on his phone, Linda whispered to Ryan. “How’s your pull up?” “It’s fine,” he answered. Ryan quickly shifted around, making sure no one else was able to hear. “Did you pee?” “Only a little,” he blushed. Linda looked over his shoulder and not so subtly pulled back the rear waistband of his pull up. Ryan quickly pulled his shirt down to cover it. “No accidents, that’s good,” she stood back up, satisfied. “I’m glad your tummy is feeling better.” Ryan chose not to acknowledge, feeling like he was about to die from embarrassment, even though no one else in line seemed to have noticed. He quickly forgot about it as they finally made it through the line and entered the pod shaped elevator to reach the top of the Arch. The ride up the curve was fun, but Ryan couldn’t help but feel a little nauseous as it went up at a strange angle, making his stomach feel even more off. Soon, they reached the top, and immediately Ryan was in awe of seeing the city from the top of such strange architecture. With the way the windows were designed, he had to jump up with his petite Filipino frame and bend over to get a good view, inadvertently exposing the back of his pull up as it rose out of the back of his shorts like a tail. Linda considered telling Ryan, but he didn’t want to interrupt his childish wonder of the bird’s eye view of St. Louis. That, and she thought it looked kind of cute. After a few minutes, Jerry began to lead his wife and son back to elevator so they could get on the road. As soon as the elevator ride down began, Ryan’s stomach began to feel pressure. He held it, not wanting to stink up such a tight space, even if it was just gas. The swaying of the elevator pod also began to aggravate his nausea, and by the time it reached the base floor, he dashed out to catch his breath, putting his hands on his knees and slouching over. His mom and dad caught up to him, concerned. “Are you okay?” Linda asked. “You’re good, deep breaths,” Jerry added. “I’m okay, I just… I didn’t like the elevator part, but the top was really cool,” Ryan said, still feeling the internal pressure on his lower abdomen. “That’s good! Let’s take one more picture by the Buffalo for Facebook and let’s go,” Jerry said. Ryan slowly followed his parents to the massive stuffed Buffalo in the museum, walking carefully. Linda noticed this as they bunched up for the picture, but decided to hold off asking until after the photos were taken. “Okay… 1, 2, 3. And 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3,” Jerry said, taking selfie pictures at different angles for what seemed like an eternity to Ryan as the pressure in his stomach built to unbearable levels. Ugh, I can’t take this… it’s just a fart, it’ll be okay, no one can hear it in this huge museum, and they probably wouldn’t smell it, Ryan thought as his dad took more pictures despite saying “last one” multiple times. Ryan felt his stomach gurgle as he finally released, leading to immediate regret as he felt the liquid production slowly fill his pull up. His eyes grew and face turned red in the last picture as he realized what he just did. “Okay, let’s go,” Jerry finally said, satisfied with the shots. “I’m going to use the bathroom before we head out though.” “You go ahead,” Linda insisted, sensing something was off with her son. “I’ll wait here with Ryan and I’ll go next.” She crouched down to his eye level after he slowly moved from his spot. “What’s wrong, Anak?” “Umm, I had an accident…” Ryan alluded. Linda’s eyes grew as she realized the severity of the accident. She stood back up and spotted a secluded corner of the museum a short distance away that was partly concealed by a mock up of a Native American teepee. She held Ryan’s hand as they walked behind the exhibit, making sure not too many people were around. He stood there frozen, with his legs spread wide, trying to come to terms with how he just soiled himself while awake. “Okay, let’s have a look,” Linda said sweetly to put her son more at ease. She pulled the back rear waistband of his Goodnites once more, this time seeing the brown liquid stain that was partially absorbed by the pull up. She proceeded to pull his shorts down to his ankles, seeing the full extent of the damage where the mess pooled by the seat of his pull ups. She checked her purse to realize that she left the extra pull up in the suit case along with the baby wipes, legitimately not expecting any major accidents in the brief period they would be at the Arch. She grimaced at her lack of oversight, and felt bad that her son now had to walk around in his own mess. She pulled Ryan’s cargo shorts back up. “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do,” she said, thinking aloud as she sanitized her hands. “We’ll walk over to the van and get you all freshened up there. I’ll text your dad to meet us there and we’ll be on our way after.” “I’m sorry,” Ryan said quietly, looking at the floor. “Honey, it’s okay. Accidents happen,” she said, hugging her son. “I’m your mom, it’s my job to keep you clean and healthy. Now let’s go.” The two of them held hands as they made their way through the museum and into parking lot, with Ryan self consciously trying to walk as normal as possible. Eventually they got to van, with Linda instructing Ryan to stay in the middle row of the Odyssey as she went to the trunk to open up the suit case. She grabbed the baby wipes and realized this was the last pull up, taking a mental note to pick up some more at their next stop. She opened up the sliding door to see Ryan squatting down to avoid being seen from the windows. “It’s okay,” she reassured. “Now lie down.” “Lie down? Here? On the floor?” Ryan asked. “Yes, now let’s go, your dad will be out soon.” “Can I at least lie down on the back seat?” He pleaded. “No, I don’t want any poop to get on the seats. Also, I’ll have more space to work with from here,” she explained. Reluctantly, Ryan obeyed, still self conscious about how little privacy he was about to get. He laid down on the floor as his mom blocked the view from the outside, and began by pulling his shorts and shoes off. Ryan covered his face as she began to tear the seams of the sides of his pull up and unfolded the front. Linda grimaced a little as she held up his ankles with one hand and grabbed a wipe with another. Ryan hoped no one was walking by as his mother thoroughly wiped his bottom for the next several minutes. “Okay, hard part’s done,” she said with a sigh as she lowered his ankles. She opened the pull up and slipped it up his legs to his waistline. She then put his shorts back on, and rolled up the heavily soiled pull up before tying it into a plastic shopping bag with the used wipes. “Can you get your shoes on?” “I got it,” Ryan said, hoping to regain some dignity and independence by doing the small act of tying his shoes. Jerry returned to the car and hopped in the driver seat as Linda threw the plastic bag into a nearby trash can. She got in the front passenger seat as they started their long journey home. After the first hour, Ryan fell asleep as the deep hypnotic midwestern landscape lulled him to a slumber, and Linda asked Jerry to search for the next closest drugstore or retail center. The GPS located a Walgreens off of an exit 30 miles away as they traversed the empty midwestern farmlands with the interstate. Knowing how much Jerry hated taking side trips that would delay them, she didn’t mind waiting to find a store that was conveniently just off the interstate. They soon pulled off into the remote town and quickly arrived in the parking lot of the drug store. Ryan felt the car stop and woke up disoriented. “Where are we?” He asked as he rubbed his eyes, not recognizing the area. “Your mom is just grabbing some supplies from the Walgreens. She’ll be back out soon if you want to walk around and stretch your legs a little,” his dad explained, to which Ryan obliged. Inside the store, Linda soon discovered it was slim pickings. She new Covid was causing a plethora of disruptions of the supply chain, but it was especially hitting hard out here in these remote southern Illinois towns and villages. Half of the shelves were barren or barely stocked, and she considered herself lucky to find the last bottle of Pepto Bismol for her son to ease his stomach. She picked up the last few bottles of Pedialyte and intended to supplement it with Gatorade. Finally, she made her way to the baby aisle for arguably her most important provision. She went to the nighttime underwear section at the end of the diaper aisle and saw that it was empty, except for a couple packs of the store brand nighttime pull ups, to which she learned the hard way years ago that they almost always leaked under Ryan’s nightly floods. Even the pull ups training pants were out of stock. She turned to an employee who was stocking formula in the same aisle. “Excuse me, do you have any of the boys Goodnites in stock? Like maybe in the back?” “We don’t, sorry,” apologized the employee. “We ran out of those about a month ago. I can check our inventory requests, but I think we might be getting a new shipment in about 4 days.” “I can’t do 4 days,” Linda said with a sigh. She felt a vibration on her phone and saw a text from her husband. Are you almost done? We’re trying to get home before nightfall, we gotta get on the road soon! Be right there, she replied. She doubted Jerry would be willing to make another stop, unless it was for gas, which they probably wouldn’t need for at least a couple hours. Thinking fast, she looked at what they did have in stock, noticing what was mostly left on the shelves were the variations of Huggies, Luvs, and Pampers. Of those, the only ones she thought might even remotely fit were the Pampers Baby Dry in size 6. Linda grabbed a pack of 21 and eyeballed it, noting that while her son was several pounds above the recommended weight range, his short and slender build from his Filipino genetics should allow him to fit, noting the stretchy side tabs advertised on the package. Ryan’s probably not gonna like this, but it’s what we got, she figured. She took her grocery haul to the checkout counter and paid for her items. She kept the diapers hidden in the plastic shopping bag as she bought it into the front seat of the van with her. After a quick check of Ryan’s pull up, she determined it would safely hold up for another hour or 2, but was overall happy that he hadn’t had more diarrhea. Nonetheless, she pushed Ryan to drink a bottle of Pedialyte followed by some Gatorade to replenish his fluids. Now that she had more diapers on hand, she didn’t feel as stressed as when he was down to the last pull up. Chapter 5: Full and Heavy Changes Inevitably, as they headed up north, Jerry acknowledged that they had to stop for gas. He wasn’t too upset about it as the lack of traffic and good weather meant he was making great time and was well able to make it home before dark. As Jerry refilled the tank, Linda used the bathroom herself and took the opportunity to get some cheap coffee. Ryan waited patiently inside the van, engrossed in his sketches as Linda opened the sliding door. “Anak, come here and lie down,” she said. Ryan got out of his seat and went towards his mom and laid down on the floor of the middle row, already knowing what was coming. Linda grabbed the Walgreens bag and set it down next to her, the turquoise green top of the diaper pack sticking out of the bag. She pulled down his shorts to his ankles, but this time left them on along with his shoes. Noticing this, Ryan looked over and saw his mother tear open the package labeled Pampers Baby Dry and pull out a diaper adorned with Sesame Street characters and unfolded it open. “Wait, what happened to my Goodnites?” He asked, confused. “We ran out, you’re wearing the last of them,” she said as she ripped the sides of his pull up open. “The store was out of pull ups, and this was all they had in your size. Sorry.” She unfolded the front of his wet pull up and began to wipe away urine. “Will those even fit me? Can’t we go to a bigger store like Walmart and get some?” “They should! You used to use these when you were a toddler, you didn’t even make it to their largest size by the time you potty trained,” Linda lifted up her son’s ankles to quickly wipe his bottom and slide out the wet pull up, which she replaced with the diaper. Ryan cringed a little as his mother folded the front atop his groin and he heard the tapes open. He noticed these had a strong baby powder scent to them She gingerly placed them on the landing zone, readjusting them for better fit. Satisfied with her work, she helped her son stand up, causing him look down and see the childish designs that now displayed across his bottom and front. “There we go! A bit snug, but a perfect fit,” she commented. In his mind, Ryan hated how well it fit him, cursing his genetically small frame as his mom pulled his shorts up for him. He instinctively pulled his shirt bottom down, hoping the waistband wouldn’t stick out of his shorts like he saw on many toddlers. Linda could sense how vexed her son was as he sat back down and immediately avoided eye contact with her. “Hey,” she said, causing him to look at her. “When we finish the pack, we’ll get you your normal pull-ups when we get home, okay?” “Fine,” he said as he crossed his arms. Linda rolled up the wet pull up and threw it out at the trash can by the gas pump. She kept the Pampers package by the front seat with her next to the other items she bought from Walgreens. She grabbed another Gatorade and handed it to Ryan. “Make sure you keep drinking! You need to stay hydrated to beat this stomach bug, and when we get home, I’ll give you some medicine. We only have a couple hours left and we’re home,” she reassured. Ryan didn’t respond as he continued to drink, still a bit annoyed at his predicament, but was slowly coming to terms with it. The remainder of the trip was fairly uneventful, except for a 20 minute spat of traffic as the family got closer to the Chicagoland area. About half an hour into the final leg, Ryan felt the urge to urinate, and after letting go, was surprised at how well the Pampers did at wicking away the moisture from his body, but stopped short of admitting to himself that they might feel more comfortable than his usual Goodnites. Nonetheless, they managed to make it home with only a 10 minute delay, and just in time for the sunset as Jerry parked the van in the driveway for easier unloading. Ryan helped unload the car along with his dad while Linda unpacked the cooler to keep the contents from spoiling. She watched her son carry the heavy maleta by himself into the house, and she felt almost like she had traveled back in time as she spied the familiar sight of his diaper peaking above his shorts as he struggled to carry the suitcase, which reminded her… “Ryan! Make sure to grab your diapers from the front seat and put them in your bathroom in the usual spot!” she called out the door as he made his way back outside. “Did you hear me?” “Yes, mom,” Ryan responded with an audibly annoyed tone. He hated that she specifically said your diapers. He grabbed them from the front seat as instructed, hoping no one in the neighborhood was watching. He yawned as he entered the house, realizing it was just about to be his usual bedtime as they finished unloading and unpacking everything. “Actually Ryan, hold on. Come here first,” his mom called out from the kitchen. He yawned again as he met her at the kitchen table, pouring out Pepto Bismol into a small medicine cup. She noticed how drowsy he looked as he put down the Pampers package and finished drinking the pink liquid, looking at the time, which seemed to have flown by. “Ready for bed, sleepyhead?” “Yeah,” he answered as he rubbed his eye. “Tell you what, I know it was a long day, so I’ll let you go to bed right away just this once, as long as you promise to shower first thing in the morning, okay?” “I will,” Ryan assured. His mother smiled and bent down to kiss him on the forehead. As she did that she noticed a particular familiar scent. “Actually,” she began. “Anak, can you lie down over there for me?” She gestured to the living room floor just outside the kitchen. Ryan sighed but already expected this to happen inevitably before he went to bed anyway. Linda pulled out a diaper from the package and began unfolding it as she pulled out the baby wipes pack from her purse before walking over to Ryan who was lying down on the living room floor, making himself comfortable by placing a couch pillow under his head. She pulled his shorts off his legs, leaving Ryan to feel extra exposed with just his diaper and shirt, a sensation he never got fully used to, even though he already experienced this multiple times in the past couple days. Linda noticed how saturated the diaper looked with the wetness indicator turning blue, but was glad there were no leaks, and it appeared that it could’ve handled another one of Ryan’s floods. She took a deep breath as she untaped the tabs and pulled down the front, after which she put her hands on her hips and made a frustrated face at the semi liquid mess that confirmed her suspicions. “Ryan!” “What?” “What do you mean ‘what?’ You pooped again,” Linda chastised. “When did this happen?” “While we were stuck in traffic. And you literally said I could before if I had to! And that the bathrooms weren’t safe!” He reasoned. “I mean, I did, but why didn’t you say something? We could’ve stopped somewhere and I could’ve changed you.” “I didn’t think it would matter, we were almost home anyway. And I really couldn’t help it, honest! It just hit me again like at the Arch,” Ryan began to sit up, but his mom gently pushed him back to a lying position. “Don’t move,” she sighed as she pulled out a wipe and lifted his ankles up with her other hand. “Besides, I didn’t want dad to get mad again if we had to stop because of me,” he replied, his voice trembling a little. “I’m sorry.” “No, no. Don’t be sorry, it’s not your fault,” Linda reassured after taking a deep breath, realizing that last part was true as she continued to clean up her son. “Just let me know if it happens again next time. It’s not good for you to be sitting in it for too long.” She pulled the soiled diaper out from under him and slid the fresh one in its place, gently lowering his legs back down onto it as she taped the front into place. Linda pulled Ryan to his feet and gave him a warm hug. “You know, you look so cute dressed like that,” she whispered. He immediately left her arms and embarrassingly tried to pull his shirt down. “Mooom!” “Make sure you brush your teeth before bed!” She yelled as he scurried up the stairs to the bathroom. Linda rolled up the soiled diaper and threw it away in the garage trash, followed by her bringing the open Pampers package up Ryan’s room and placing it next to his bedside table. She showered and got herself ready for bed so she could her husband in the master bedroom. Jerry was already asleep, exhausted from a long day of driving. She walked over to Ryan’s room, who was so tired, he immediately slumped onto the bed, sprawled out like a starfish, and didn’t even bother changing out of shirt, let alone putting on pajama pants. She grabbed the Tigger off the floor and put it next to his side before tucking him into the covers. The following morning, Ryan woke up once again to the familiar mushy sensation in his heavy diaper. He waddled down the stairs to see his mother in the kitchen preparing breakfast, who noticed him immediately. “Oh Anak what are you doing up so early? Go back to bed right now, you need rest to beat this stomach bug,” she said earnestly. “But mom, um,” he wasn’t sure if he wanted to mention it, but remembered what his mom said last night. “I pooped.” “Aw, it’s okay honey. Go back to your room, I’ll be up there to clean you up in a minute. Thank you for telling me,” she instructed as Ryan waddled back up to his room. He didn’t want to sit down and make the mess on his bottom worse, and he decided to stand until his mom arrived. As she stepped in the room, he laid down on the carpet without asking as Linda grabbed the baby wipes. Other than telling him to take his shirt from yesterday off, she went through her usual changing process, but took mental note how watery the consistency was of her son’s bowel movement, with most of it being absorbed by the back of the diaper, as well as how dark yellow it was stained at the front. “How’s your tummy, Anak? Has your appetite come back” “Not really, I’m still a little queasy,” he admitted. “Hmmm, I’ll get you a small bowl of oatmeal so you at least get something for breakfast. Hop in the shower and I’ll get your clothes and medicine ready too,” she said as she finished wiping him down. Ryan grabbed a towel from his drawer and wrapped it around himself as he raced to the bathroom. As he bathed, Linda took the rolled up soiled diaper and threw it in the garage trash. She washed her hands in the kitchen and prepared a small bowl of oatmeal, along with a bottle of Pedialyte and a 32 ounce bottle full of water she picked up from the hospital. She wasn’t liking how dehydrated her son was getting from the diarrhea, even if he didn’t immediately notice. Lastly, she grabbed the bottle of Pepto Bismol as she made her way back up to Ryan’s bedroom. She laid the bowl and bottles on the bedside table and grabbed a folded Lego T shirt from Ryan’s shirt drawer and placed it on his bed. She opened up the drawer where he kept his underwear and paused, ultimately deciding to close it. Ryan finished drying himself off in the bathroom and walked his toweled self back to his room, surprised to see his mom got everything ready so quickly. “Oh good you’re done! Anak come here,” she said, patting the bed. Ryan, still holding the towel around his waist, walked over and sat on the bed, which resulted in Linda gently laying him down on his pillow. She bent over next to the nightstand and pulled out a diaper from the package, unfolding it. Ryan’s eyes grew as he sat up. “Hey wait! We’re home, I can use the bathroom! It’s clean! And I’m feeling a lot better today, can’t I have my regular underwear?” “I know we’re home Anak, but I was just thinking that since you’re still sick, I want you to stay in bed today and get some rest. If you can, I want you to go back to sleep as much as possible since it will help you beat this stomach bug and help you recover faster. I also want you drinking plenty of fluids. You may not feel it, but you’re really dehydrated, and I don’t want to risk you having an unexpected accident, awake or asleep. Plus, this will help me monitor your stools,” Linda answered as she simultaneously went into mom and nurse mode. “My stools?” Ryan asked quizzically. “Your poop, Anak. I don’t think you’ve had a solid one since before the trip, and that’s not good. I know it sounds gross, but we won’t know you’ve gotten over this tummy issue until you have a solid poop,” she said nonchalantly. “Can’t I just go in the toilet while I’m awake?” He tried to reason. “Oh I would let you, Anak, but I honestly don’t want to take any chances with accidents on the bed or floor, especially with how unpredictable your stomach has been the past couple days, and I don’t want you leaving the bed a lot. If you have to go, just go and I’ll change you after, I don’t mind,” Linda said as she ripped off the towel. She lifted up Ryan’s legs and slipped the diaper under his bottom and securely taped it up. He felt extra vulnerable being naked in just a diaper, which his mom partially remedied by slipping the shirt onto him. He waited for his mom to slip shorts on, then realized there weren’t any on the bed. “Can I at least have shorts or something?” Ryan asked as he sat up. “It’s easier if you don’t honey, it’ll be easier for me to check if you’re wet and change you. It’ll also be better since it’s so hot today,” she reasoned, a fact that Ryan couldn’t argue. “I know you don’t like this, but once you’re stomach feels better and I know your poop is back to normal, you can get out of bed and wear big boy underwear again. I’ll bring you your sketchbook and I’ll let you watch shows on the iPad so you don’t get bored in bed when you’re not napping. How does that sound?” “I guess that’s okay,” Ryan compromised. Historically, his parents were strict about technology usage, determined to not have their son become one of those “iPad kids”. They only had one television in the whole house, and one laptop each for each parent’s work. They didn’t allow video games, except in the rare instance Ryan was visiting a relative or friend’s house that had a gaming system. Two things they were willing to spend money on for Ryan were books and art supplies, considering them an investment to make him more well rounded and educated. He was thankful his mom was willing to compromise on the iPad for the day; he wasn’t expecting to get a smartphone until at least high school. “Great!” Linda concluded. “Make sure you’re constantly drinking! Have a little of the oatmeal if you can too. I’ll give you some medicine in a little bit for your tummy. Try to sleep, but I’ll be checking in on you when I can.” She made her way out of the bedroom, closing the door and popping it back open almost immediately. “Use the iPad to text me if you need anything, like more water or Gatorade… or if you need to be changed.” “Okay mom, thanks, I’m good,” he said as he began to open up Disney+ on his tablet. Ryan scrolled through shows and movies with one hand while holding his water bottle with the other, aggressively sipping through the straw as he ultimately decided on The Force Awakens. After about the first 30 minutes, he nearly finished the water bottle, leading him to drink from the Pedialyte bottle, which he drank at a slightly slower pace. The movie was about to reach the final battle when Linda cracked the door open, causing Ryan to pause the film. “Everything okay? Need anything?” She asked with a smile. She saw that the water bottle was almost empty, happy to know her son was taking the hydration seriously. “Yep I’m good, mom. Thanks,” he answered quickly, eager to resume the movie. Ryan pressed play and quickly became engrossed in the action. Linda went to the bed side table and picked up the water bottle, leaving to refill it. When she returned, she decided to see if Ryan needed a change, noticing almost immediately the blue wetness indicator and that his diaper looked ready to burst. With his attention tied to the iPad in his hands, Ryan didn’t notice as his mother pulled another diaper from the package, and barely flinched as she undid the tapes on the one he was wearing, but continued to watch the movie. She unfolded the wet diaper open, and began to do a quick wipe. “Looks like someone was ready for a change,” Linda commented as she slipped out the heavy diaper and lowered his bottom onto a fresh one. “You sure went a lot.” Ryan turned red as he pretended not to hear, keeping his eyes on the film as his mom tapes up the front. “Sorry,” he said as his mom rolled up the diaper. “No, that’s a good thing! At least I know you’re hydrated,” Linda tossed it in the bedroom trash as she made her way to the door. “Try to sleep for a little bit after the movie. I’ll get you some rice for lunch later if you’re up to it.” “Okay mom,” Ryan said as the movie reached the conclusion. As the credits rolled, he locked the iPad screen and placed it next to his pillow. He spent the next 15 minutes trying to sleep, only to feel tension in his bladder, to which he quickly released from all the water and Pedialyte he was downing. Feeling more relaxed, he quickly drifted into a slumber. About an hour and a half later, Ryan woke up, feeling a familiar mush pushing against his bottom. She heard the voice of his mom talking to his dad in his parents’ bedroom across the hall. “Mom!” Ryan yelled. “Yes honey?” She called back. “Ummm, I think I need a change,” he said awkwardly. “Hang on, I’ll be right there!” Linda called back from the bedroom. Jerry was sending emails on his laptop for the upcoming work week. “You’re keeping him in nappies?” He asked as she headed for the door. “Yeah, he’s still sick, poor thing,” she answered. “Can’t he get up to use the bathroom? It’s not like we’re some germ infested public restroom.” “He can, but this is easier. I’d rather do this than pay for an expensive carpet cleaner in case he doesn’t make it,” she explained. “That’s true I suppose,” Jerry concurred. “Couldn’t you at least teach him to change himself? Changing a 9 year old isn’t exactly something most parents do at this stage in life.” “I do the laundry here, I barely trust him to wipe himself properly using the toilet,” Linda joked. “As messy as he gets, I’d rather just change him myself so it’s less headache for everyone.” “As long as I don’t have to change him,” Jerry quipped as he returned to his emails. Linda walked into Ryan’s room as he laid on his back on the bed, the iPad in his hands now the center of attention. She sniffed the air. “Sorry about that wait. Did you manage to sleep a little?,” she said as she grabbed a new diaper. “Yeah a little bit,” he answered as he decided on The Mandalorian. “I called you as soon as I woke up.” She undid the tapes and opened up the diaper, noticing how Ryan’s mess was now starting to be a little more solid in consistency. That’s a good sign, she thought as she began to wipe and replace the diaper, rolling up the old one. Ryan sat upright as he watched the show. “I’m going to pour you some medicine,” Linda said as she sanitized her hands and stood up to grab Pepto Bismol bottle on the table. She meticulously measured the proper dosage into the medicine cup, pouring some back into the bottle as she slightly poured too much after holding the measuring lines up to the light. Once she got the portion right, she turned back to her son, noticing out of the corner of her eye that his wetness indicator was already blue, but the diaper itself wasn’t too saturated. Really? I literally just changed you a second ago, she thought to herself as Ryan sipped the medicine cup and resumed the episode. She decided she’d check back on him in about an hour or so, not wanting to waste another diaper. When she returned to his room, Linda saw her son passed out, laying on his side with tablet in hand, with the show still playing. She took the iPad and plugged it into the charger, taking the opportunity to gently pat her son’s diapered bottom, noticing that while it was a little full, she was surprised there wasn’t a distinctive mush. She decided to go to the master bedroom and take a nap herself before tackling the next task of making dinner. Linda woke up an hour later, deciding to drop by Ryan’s room to see if he was still asleep. Inside, she saw him sitting up crisscross applesauce with the sketchbook and colored pencils in hand, the tablet still on the charger. She walked over to the nightstand and cleared the empty Pedialyte bottles and took the half empty water bottle. “How are you feeling, honey?” “Better! A lot better, actually,” Ryan said enthusiastically. “Looks like the medicine and rest is working,” she said happily as she left the room. Linda topped off the water bottle and placed it next to him on the bedside table. She saw how droopy her son’s diaper had become after the lengthy nap. “Looks like someone needs a diaper change too!” She playfully pulled his legs across the bed, causing him to fall back onto his pillow and nearly dropping the sketchbook. “Hey! I was working on that!” He said with a chuckle. “Looks like you were working hard on your hydration too,” she said as she undid the tapes once again and unfolded the soaked front of the diaper. She was half surprised to see no diarrhea accidents after this nap. “Good job honey! You weren’t poopy this time when you woke up,” she congratulated as Ryan covered his face in embarrassment. “Tummy feeling better?” She asked as she did a quick job of wiping. “Yes,” Ryan answered through his hands. “Good! Looks like you’re finally on the mend,” she said as she finished taping up the new diaper. “You think you’re up to some bananas and applesauce in a little bit?” Linda asked as she tossed the wet diaper in his trash. She noticed it was getting full, and proceeded to tie the plastic liner up and replace it. “Yeah, I’m actually feeling a little hungry now,” he admitted. “Coming right up!” She said cheerfully as she walked out of the room. Ryan put his sketchbook away and grabbed his tablet from the charger. He searched up Avengers: Endgame and pressed play on the lengthy movie, sipping from a Gatorade as the film commenced. A few minutes later, his mom returned with a small pack of apple sauce with a spoon and a banana, to which Ryan enthusiastically consumed, alternating with regular sips of water and Gatorade. During the last 45 minutes of the movie, Ryan felt a pressure in his stomach that he ignored. After a few minutes, the tension suddenly rose to the point he couldn’t ignore it. Realizing what he had to do, he called for his mom, and heard no answer. Ryan paused the movie and texted his mother using the messenger app on his iPad. Mom, can you come up please? he texted. After a few seconds, the typing bubble appeared, shortly followed by a response. I’m on a Zoom call for work, can you wait a bit? I kind of have to go, he texted back. Is it number 2? She asked. Yes, it’s kind of an emergency, Ryan texted back. Anak, you have your diaper, Linda texted in response. Ryan wasn’t sure how to respond to that when his mom’s typing bubble appeared again. I’ll be up in a about 30-45 minutes. The conversation showed that Linda enabled silent mode so the notifications wouldn’t distract her from the conference call. Ryan began to sweat; conflicted as to what to do as the pressure in his abdomen started to become unbearable. He contemplated running to the bathroom, but he didn’t want his mom to yell at him for getting out of bed, let alone get caught by his father. Realizing his only option, Ryan sighed as he knew what he had to do. He unpaused the movie, midway through the action of the climactic final battle. He first sat upright to relieve some tension, only to stand on his bed a second later, trying to use the movie as a distraction. He squatted down as the pressure in his bowels became increasingly unbearable, finally giving up as he released some gas, followed rapidly by what felt like warm sludge spilling into the seat of his Pampers. He grunted, releasing another quick wave until he felt empty, inadvertently releasing a stream of urine in the process. Ryan turned to view his backside, seeing a noticeable bulge now evident protruding from his bottom. He sighed, realizing this was his first time deliberately soiling himself while awake, not counting the Arch incident, as he counted that as a legitimate accident. Not wanting to make a bigger mess for his mom to clean up, Ryan laid on his belly and continued to watch the movie until his mother finished her call. Outside his room, Jerry happened to walk by and caught a good whiff of the smell emanating from his son’s room. Not wanting to deal with it himself, he went downstairs to find his wife, who was wrapping up the Zoom meeting. She turned off her microphone as Jerry entered the frame behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. “What is it?” She asked. “I think Ryan needs his nappy changed,” he said bluntly. “I know, I’ll be done in 10 minutes,” Linda assured. “Unless you want to change him yourself.” Back in his room, Ryan watched the end credits begin to roll as his mom knocked and entered the room. “Sorry for the wait, Anak,” the scent of the air hit her nose. “Ooh, your dad wasn’t kidding! Lie down!” Ryan put his iPad down and tried to ignore his mom’s comment as he started to flip onto his back, only to get stopped last second as he felt a hand gently pat his diapered bottom. “On the floor, please. That’s a really full nappy, and I don’t want to make a mess on your bedsheets.” Ryan made his way to the floor, rolling his eyes at her remark, thinking she was sounding like dad. Linda prepared by pre-pulling out some baby wipes and pulling out a diaper from the pack. “Wait,” Ryan said as she began to open up the fresh diaper. He had a stare of concentration as he relaxed and felt warm wetness pool into his Pampers, taking a few seconds to absorb. “Okay.” “Are you sure you’re done?” She said, trying to conceal a chuckle. “Yeah… sorry,” he said, covering his face again in embarrassment. “You’re okay, honey,” Linda assured, taking a deep breath as she ripped open the tapes and pulled back the front. “Ooh that’s a lot,” she commented as she noted how much of a solid load she had to clean up, lifting up Ryan’s legs by the ankles. “On the bright side, honey, I think it’s more than safe to say your stomach bug is gone.” After a few minutes of wiping, she laid Ryan’s bottom down on the fresh diaper and closed it up with the tapes. “There we go, I bet that feels much better,” she said as she smoothed out the last tape and made sure the leak guards weren’t bunched up. She placed the soiled diaper and used wipes in the plastic bag, tying it shut to keep the smell out. Ryan sat up as Linda finished sanitizing her hands. “Tell you what Ryan, if you last the whole night without your nappy getting poopy while you sleep, I think we can definitively say you’re not sick anymore by tomorrow morning. You can go back to using big boy underwear during the day, and using the normal potty, plus you won’t be stuck in bed all day. Does that sound fair?” She proposed. It didn’t take Ryan long to agree, despite cringing internally at the the childish verbiage she decided to use for the deal. “Can I go back to using pull ups too?” He added. “Like I said before, after we finish this pack, I’ll get you your normal Goodnites, unless of course you’re able to stay dry at night too,” Linda said as she stood up to go make dinner. “Deal,” Ryan said, somewhat content with the arrangement.