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  1. DIAPERED TALES FROM THE WASTELAND EPISODE 1 LEAVING THE LITTLE VAULT War. War never changes. In the year 2077, bombs were dropped across most of North America, wiping it away in less than two hours. But locked underground, protected from the blasts, some managed to escape into the safety of the Vaults. Deep in the heart of Virginia, lies Vault 82. The people of Vault 82 have lived peaceful lives for over ninety years. Most do not know what it’s like in the outside world–that outside the vault, they don’t sleep in cribs, that they aren’t able to play all day long without worry, and that they don’t even wear diapers. Armed with fresh padding, a dino pacifier, and the collected knowledge of his vault, Joe Palmer has been chosen to lead the first expedition outside in nearly one hundred years. But what will he find? “You’ve got your paci?” Mom asked, I pulled out my pacifier, tied on a lanyard around my neck. She nodded. “And you’ve packed spare diapers?” She checked my bag again, going through its contents one by one. “You don’t know if there’ll be any on the outside.” “I know mom!” I said, “And yes, I’ve packed spares.” I shrugged her off me–everyone was watching from behind. “Okay. I only ask because I love you, kiddo.” she smiled sweetly. “Already going out… ah. You’ve grown up so fast. Only twenty years ago you were this high!” she said, gesturing just below her knee. “Now look at you!” she leapt on me with a tight hug. “Moooom, you’re embarrassing me!” Even though she was squeezing me so hard I thought I would pass out, I accepted the hug, not knowing if I would see her again. Just before she broke away, I felt her tense up. She grunted a little, then sighed and went limp. The smell of her dirty diaper hit my nose almost immediately. As gross as it was, it didn’t bother me so much. It was the smell of home after all, a home I was about to leave for the first time. “We’re all so proud!” she gave one last, wan smile, then made her way back to the gathered group, waddling around in her freshly-filled padding. Overseer Carmichael nodded. “You’re doing a fine thing, son.” he said, and he gave me a brisk pat on the shoulder. “You get an idea of your surroundings, then come straight back here. Be gone no more than three days, understand?” “I do Overseer.” I gave a determined nod. “Good lad. We’ll have a good ol’ play party waiting for you when you get back.” he winked, and I gave him a smile. “You ready?” I looked around the room one last time. Two dozen or so people had gathered here, out of the three-hundred people who inhabited the vault. All these people had come to see me leave, I nodded to each of them. I was so nervous, my hands were sweaty and I swear I was already beginning to leak a little into my diaper. At least I would have that comfort, that reminder of the vault. “I’m ready.” I nodded to Overseer Carmicheal. The Overseer nodded slowly back, and moved up to the console, ready to open the inner doors. Everyone took a step back, I heard them draw in breath. I touched all of my equipment again, to make sure it was there–my supply bag (with food, spare diapers, and Mister Fancypants the teddy bear, of course), my holstered gun, and my pip-boy. “Joseph Olsen Palmer, we wish you good luck, and safe travels.” The Overseer pressed a button on the console, and an arm swung around to grasp at the inner door. It slid open smoothly, and spun out of the way. I took in a deep breath, refusing to look back at what I was leaving behind, and made for the outer door. The inner door locked behind me with a loud clang, and I was alone. I knew that the people of vault 82, the people I most cared about, were just behind the door, but that didn’t stop my nerves. This was it, the last chance I had to turn back, I almost went for it, went to knock on the door and call it in already. But then I saw everyone’s faces again, and the hope they had for me. So I remained alone in the darkness. Despite it all, I felt the bulk of my diaper keeping me safe under my onesie. Resolutely, I took my green dinosaur pacifier, and stuck it in my mouth. Feeling much better about my chances now that I had Tommy the T-Rex on my side, I stepped up to the outer door. It was angled slightly, tilted towards the floor like a massive hatch. I knew that when it opened, the first thing I would see would be the endless sky, just like the one painted above my crib. But so much more real. The outer door opened with much less grace than the inner one had. The machinery squealed and groaned, as if the vault itself was in pain. How long had it been shut? Nearly a hundred years? Three generations of people had never seen the outside world. My own grandpa had told me stories of when he was little, before the bombs. He’d said that people ‘potty-trained’ back then, and only wore diapers when they were little. He told me how angry he had been when they told him he’d had to start using diapers again, but after everyone began using them, he came around to the idea. Eighty years later, and diapers were the norm. It was terrifying, how quickly things could change. Vault 82 was a place to relax, and let all your worries–potty training included–disappear. Soon I would have to change my own diapers, sleep outside of a crib, and find my own food. My nerves rose suddenly, and I tried not to panic. Why was I leaving it all behind? Why did things have to change? The door inched open, and I recoiled. A golden ray of light shone through the small gap, brighter and warmer than I had ever experienced before. The sun. My panic transformed into excitement. This is why I was going out–to finally see what was outside, after all this time. The door opened completely, leaving a light cloud of dust in its wake. With a broad smile, and a mostly clean diaper, I stepped into the outside world. *** The massive door, with Vault 82 written big on the front, slowly rolled back into place, and I checked my pip-boy–the slow clicking counter meant radiation levels matched our initial scan. So that was good. I looked around. Ahead of me was a wide, open concrete plain, dotted with the broken ruins of old buildings, and beyond that, the hills. Apparently this place was an airport, once used by soldiers, though I didn’t see any airplanes like the toy ones we had in the vault. My pip-boy had been loaded with old maps of a town called Blackstone, in what used to be Virginia. My job was simple–match the maps to the world outside. “Oh! This is going to be so fun!” I wiggled about, unable to keep my excitement hidden away. I decided my first job was to update the area right outside the vault, so I waddle-marched all around it, and got some measurements, and made sure that the maps were up-to-date. After about an hour, just as I was coming to the end of my first survey, I realized that without thinking, I was weeing. My diaper had done a good job of soaking the accident (thank goodness) but I stopped as soon as I realized I was going. I didn’t have many diapers out here, and they would need to be rationed, so that meant holding it in as long as possible. I sighed, left with no choice but to endure the uncomfortable feeling of needing to pee pee. At least my diaper was nice and squishy now. I gave the front a poke, and giggled at the way it moved about. “Right then,” I said, taking out my checklist, “Item number twosies! Check for human activity.” The airbase was big, so big that I could barely see Vault 82 in the distance by the time I reached the edge. It was so quiet out here, I was sure that if other humans were around I would have heard some by now. Suddenly feeling very lonely, I decided it would be best if Mister Fancypants joined me out of my bag, and took him to cuddle while I continued doing a lap around the airbase. His legs dangled beneath him, whenever I got nervous I squeezed his fuzzy fur. Mister Fancypants had been with me nearly my entire life, and had insisted on bringing him with me. It wasn’t long before I came across a small group of houses on the edge of the airbase. The need to pee grew with every minute I was walking, but I knew if I could just hold on a little longer, I could save diapers for the rest of the trip. Plus, I wasn’t looking forward to changing myself all the way out here. I’d practiced a lot but I still wasn’t very good. I didn’t manage to hold it very long. Before I had completed another, wider circle around the airbase, I had to stop in a little forested area. I wriggled my legs, and squeezed them together as tightly as I could, but I struggled to push them all the way. My puffy diaper prevented me from pressing them together, and stopped me from holding myself to stop the wee, though I gave it my best shot at pushing into the padding. Before long, I was jumping from foot-to-foot doing a little potty dance. It was very rare that we had to hold our bladders in the vault, normally we just went whenever nature called, and got changed later, after all that’s what diapers were for. Unfortunately, that meant I struggled desperately with the weight of pee in my tummy, and felt a little leak into my diaper without warning. I hugged Mister Fancypants tighter, and tried my best to hold it in, but my best wasn’t enough. “N-nooooo!” Suddenly, the dam burst open, and immediately my diaper grew warm. It spread up the front of my padding, and across my bottom at the back, and made everything soft and squishy. “Aahhhh!” I gave an almighty sigh, and felt myself sag, my legs no longer tense with holding back my accident. The padding around my waist swelled and spread my legs apart even wider, until eventually my stream stopped. “Nnnnn. That felt goooood.” I said with a silly smile across my face. The now pleasantly warm diaper squished when I poked at it, now almost completely saturated. “Wow. I really had to go, didn’t I, Mister Fancypants?” I looked down at my teddy, but he gave me a blank stare back. “No need to be so mean Mister Fancypants, I really couldn’t hold it anymore!” Mister Fancypants didn’t respond. Deciding to continue my survey, I let my soaking diaper sag beneath me as I walked. There was no point in changing yet, after all I still had work to do. Besides the fact that I may as well use my diaper as much as I could before a change, I kind of wanted to find somewhere a little more private, and safe. Despite my earlier confidence being out here in the wild was beginning to give me the willies. My survey ended with a small, surprisingly neat, house on the edge of the forest. I guessed that this was the way into Blackstone, based on my maps. It was beginning to get late, and after wetting my diaper another few times, I decided it might be best to make a little camp in the building. I also quickly realized I should also probably change myself before I got a rash, or worse, leaked. I didn’t want to ruin my onesie. The house looked like a standard pre-war house, the sort I had seen in pictures in the vault. The garden, once cared for, had been left to grow messy and patchy. The wooden fence had nearly rotted away completely, but there were very few weeds, and hardly any rubble, unlike the ones I had seen earlier. I had expected the place to be in worse condition inside, but apart from a small layer of dust and a few webs here and there, it looked almost completely untouched. I stood still for a moment, and sucked thoughtfully on Tommy the T-Rex. “Yes. Dis will do niwcely.” I said from behind my paci. I uncoiled my bed-roll to act as a changing mat. It wasn’t like the ones back home, but it would do. “I can do dis. I can do dis.” I repeated to myself. With a squish that sent the yellowed padding outward, I sat down on my diaper. Getting the old diaper off was the easy bit. I ripped open the tapes, and pulled it open, revealing the very yellow padding beneath. It was all swollen and heavy. I folded it into a weighty little package, and then into a plastic bag–it was important to dispose of the diaper ethically after all, and not just leave it on the ground, even if the world had been nuked to oblivion. Right. I steeled myself. Now that the easy bit was done, things got a little trickier. After wiping myself down with a damp washcloth, I carefully retrieved the clean padding and placed it beneath me. I’d seen the Mister Handy caretakers back in the vault do this a million times, how hard could it be? I powdered over my diapered area, then lifted the front up against my belly, and leant back a little so it would stay there. Then I went to fold the back up. But by the time I turned back around, the front had fallen down again. “Mmmfff! Why is this so hard?” I tried again, but this time, focused on one side at a time. This worked much better, and I was able to stick the left side together with a single, loose tape. However, before I could continue, I heard a loud clang. My heart leaped in my chest, my hairs stood on end. I looked around the empty room, but there was no one there. Just the silence. Quickly, I went to tape up the rest of my fresh diaper. But before I could finish, I heard a familiar voice. “Get out of here, you burglar scum!” The voice called from another room. I shot up, my diaper still half-undone. “Sorry, I didn’t know this place was … well I thought everyone was dead.” “Are you trying to tell me you killed everyone? Good lord!” The voice said, growing closer. It mingled in with a gentle whirring, almost as if… “No I–” I went to protest, but just as the voice rounded the corner, I realized why it was so familiar. “A Mister Handy unit!” It must have been the one keeping the house clean. But something was wrong. The Mister Handy came through the door, from the darkness on the other-side. It’s voice was more crackly than the ones from 82, and one of its eyes was… well it wasn’t there at all. I backed up slowly. “Sowwy! I can leave ifu want?” I said, but the Mister Handy did not reply. It stopped for a moment, and moved its eye up and down, as if it was scanning me. “I-I-I-Intruders will not be t-t-tolerated!” It said, crackling. Suddenly, one of its arms arose with an attachment I’d never seen before–a buzzsaw. It whirred into motion, spinning sharp and deadly, and rushed toward me. “No!” I shouted, my paci fell out of my mouth, and not knowing what else to do I grabbed my gun. But I was too slow, before I could completely draw it, the Mister Handy’s buzzsaw launched at me. I moved out the way just in time, and the saw buried itself in the wall behind me. My gun fell to the floor. I reached for it, but the buzzsaw swooped in and I fell backwards with a crash. The Mister handy rotated, its eye focusing on me like the aperture of a camera. But when the robot tried to rush at me again, it found itself stuck for a moment, before lurching free. That gave me an idea. Quickly, carefully, I aligned myself with a light switch to my back. “Come on!” I shouted, which seemed to enrage the robot. “Intruders will not be tolerated!” Despite the strange nonchalance of its voice, it rushed at me again. I dove out the way, onto the carpet, and the Mister Handy shot straight into the wall. Its metal buzzsaw made contact with the light switch, and the wires inside. Electricity ran through it, arching and sputtering. The lights flickered on for the first time in decades, then sparked off again. I took the distraction to crawl madly for my gun. But I didn’t need it. The Mister Handy recoiled, its head spun wildly. “I-I-I-Intru-d-d-d-W-welcome home s-s-s-sir! I have ma-a-a-ade-t-traditional-carpet cleaner--s-shopping–the b-b-baby is asleep now–” and with a final garbled mess of words, its glowing eyes flickered off, and it went limp. I released a breath I forgot I was holding, and the silence returned again. *** Over the next hour, I dove into the Mister Handy’s wiring. Back in the vault, we hadn’t the resources to spare to send one with me, but if I could bring this one back, or even get it to help me out here… Thankfully, the robots were so important to our way of life in Vault 82, most people learn to take them apart and put them back together again before they turn eighteen. I was never the best at it, but I knew my way around them well enough. I decided to remove the buzzsaw attachment out of caution, and replaced it with a Rob-Co certified posable hand I found in the garage. Whilst I was at it, I renamed the unit Basil, after a pre-war TV-show they showed in the vaults. It was getting dark by the time I found the program settings, the sun was red in the sky, and golden in the treetops. The neon-green light of my pip-boy was all that lit me in the dark room. “Gardener, no. Shopkeeper, no. Driver, not that. Mmmmm, ahha–Babysitter.” I let the program run, and Basil suddenly burst into life again. Immediately, I backed up and held my gun at his eye. The robot rose quickly, and spun about itself. “Re-re-rebooting…” It stuttered, and went quiet. I worried that I had messed up the program for a moment, and quickly put my paci in my mouth for reassurance. Then, “Can I be of service, master?” The robot hovered, clearly waiting for instruction. I frowned. “What mode is cuwwently activated?” I asked through my pacifier. “Babysitter mode is activated, master. Where is said baby in need of sitting?” “Oh, I … right here.” I gestured to all of me. “Oh dear! Well we can’t have you in that state, can we master?” The Mister Handy moved towards me, and I flinched despite myself. “No…? What are you doing?” I asked nervously. “Why, changing your diaper of course, look at the state it’s in! I do say… wheoever put it on you needs a right bloody scolding” At Basil’s words, I looked down. With everything that had happened, I had forgotten to put the diaper on properly, and it still hung lopsided off me. I realized, too, that it had been a while since I last changed it, and I felt a familiar sensation below… “Hang on …” the robot paused, “What do good boys say?” “Pweese? Pweese would you change my diapee? And, could you pweese hurry? I fink I need to pee again.” “Of course!” The robot said, “And what a good little boy you are for remembering your manners!” Basil’s hand patted me on the head and I giggled. It was almost like being back in the vault. With some proper repairs, this unit could be good-as-new. I laid back down and clutched Mister Fancypants in my arms as the robot inspected my bare butt. Basil was much better at changing my diaper than I had been. For the most part, I just lay there and stared at the ceiling, sucking on my T-Rex paci as Basil cleaned me up. It felt good to be properly padded again, with the familiar bulk pushing my legs apart. Basil was a fast changer too, which was good, because I was growing desperate. Almost as soon as he had finished fastening the tapes, I let out a sigh, and felt my diaper expand as I wet it again. “My, my. Wet already! Do you need me to change you again, Master?” “No, I should be fine until the morning. Fankoo!” I slept surprisingly well that night. In fact, I slept almost like a baby. Maybe it was because I was so exhausted from the day, or maybe it was because I knew I had Basil and Mister Fancypants watching over me. Either way, I woke up early the next morning, ready to take on the day’s challenge–going further afield. Basil changed me out of a thoroughly soaked diaper, and together we made our way out. With a fresh diaper, Mister Fancypants, and Basil by my side, things were looking up. Perhaps, finally, I would be able to see what remained of the world, after all this time… END OF CHAPTER 1
  2. War. War never changes. On October 23, 2077 the United States and China began and ended the Great War. In the span of two hours, all of human history had cultivated in the sky lighting on fire and the world being turned to cinders. But humanity did not die and join the ashes. Hundreds of Millions perished instantly. Billions died the slow agonizing death of radiation poisoning and starvation from nuclear winter. Thousands lingered on as something else entirely. But thousands more escaped the onset of holocaust by heading deep underground, into isolated and shielded facilities known as “vaults”. What these denizens did not know, could not even conceive of, was that they were merely guinea pigs for a series of unorthodox and highly unethical experiments. Vault-Tec, the company that had anticipated (perhaps even provoked) the Great War created these safe havens to preserve humanity, that is true, but they only endeavored to save what they considered the “best” or the “most necessary” sections of humanity. Everyone else was just fodder. A relative handful of vaults operated as advertised. They provided safety and shelter to those who dwelled inside, re-opened once the radiation had dropped to acceptable levels, and supplied humanity with the tools necessary to rebuild civilization. Every other vault was a grand social experiment meant to operate without concern for the physical and mental well being of its inhabitants. Vault 27 packed in double the intended occupants to see how a random selection of people would deal with dwindling and insufficient resources. Vault 95 consisted entirely of chem addicts and alcoholics who were forced to get clean…just to see what happened five years later when a massive cache was introduced. Vault 11 forced its occupants to sacrifice one of their own each year under threat that they would all die if they did not comply. And then there was Vault 159… ****************************************************************************************** Rebecca woke up early that morning, bright eyed and bushy tailed as Coddlesworth often said. Though she didn’t really understand that expression- her eyes didn’t glow and she didn’t have a tail to wag-but she liked the sound of it. She liked it so much that she decided to play with it in her mouth a little bit while waiting for Coddlesworth to get her up for the day. “Bright eyed,” she said. “Briiiiiiiigh-tuuuuuugh! Eeeeeeyeeeee-duh! Bushy. Buuuuusssssshhhh. Sh-sh-sh-sh! Tail-uh-duh! Tay-tay-tay-tay-tay-tay!” She stopped to make a few spit bubbles and kept on babbling, all while batting at the Nuka-Cola mobile dangling from the head of her crib. Rebecca could have clobbered the dangling soda bottles and rocket ships if she just sat up slightly, but that wasn’t as much fun. It was more amusing to graze them with the very tips of her fingers and make them make the music sound off. What if there was a place with all the zip of Nuka-Cola? Wouldn’t that be the cheer-cheer-cheeriest place in all the world? Where the rivers flow with Quantum and the mountaintops are fizz? With fun and games and rides for all the moms and pops and kids? Played slowly, it was a soothing lullaby to drift off to sleep to after a rousing day of play. Played fast, it was Rebecca’s ideal wake up call to start said day of play. That’s why it was her favorite song. When she was smaller, she’d cried and screamed until Coddlesworth and all the other Mr. Handies and Miss Nannies taught her every single word. What was a ‘mom’, anyway? She assumed that it was another word for soda, like ‘pop’, but she wasn’t sure. “A vacation that refreshes,” she sang quietly to herself. “A trip you won’t forget. A park with every minimum acceptable safety standard met.” She didn’t know what most of the words meant, but that didn’t stop her from saying it. ‘Vacation’ was particularly fun to say. She didn’t know what a ‘bongo-bongo-bongo’ was or a ‘congo’, but liked singing that song, too. Especially the part at the end. “Civilization! I’ll stay right heeeeeeeere!” That was also her favorite song. The door to Rebecca’s nursery whooshed open and Coddlesworth hovered inside. Three hundred years prior, the floating mechanical octopus would have been something terrible to behold; an abomination of science spitting in the face of nature. Approximately, two-hundred years ago, it was an exciting cutting edge piece technology that created so many opportunities and convenience. But Rebecca had known Coddlesworth and his manufactured ilk all of her life, and thus the robots that cared for her and her playmates were natural and normal. Rebecca didn’t even think of Coddlesworth as a ‘robot’. To her, he and every other person who took care of her was a Grown-Up. “Good morning, Miss Rebecca,” Coddlesworth said through his speakers. “Had a restful night’s sleep, I trust?” The Grown-Up wasted no time in going over to Rebecca’s dresser and fetching powder, washcloths, a onesie, and a fresh diaper. All part of the morning routine. “Yuh-huh,” Rebecca nodded and smiled up at the floating ball of chrome. Coddlesworth always made sure to keep at least one retractable eye on her when he was changing her. “Excellent!” Coddlesworth replied. “Then let’s get you changed, shall we?” Rebecca laid still as Coddlesworth lowered the side of her crib and unbuttoned her blue Vault-Tec footie pajamas all the way down starting at the shoulder and slipped them off her legs. The second the first fiber of fabric hit the hamper metallic tendrils and pincers gently attacked the safety pins holding her diaper together. “Oh dear!,” Coddlesworth tutted. “It looks like someone was dreaming of going for a swim!” This was Coddlesworth’s way of emphasizing just how close to leaking Rebecca had been. Rebecca playfully popped her thumb in her mouth and giggled in reply. She sucked and giggled on her digit while her metallic caregiver cleaned her sensitive and delicate areas with a specially warmed washcloth “Thumb out of your mouth, Miss Rebecca,” Coddlesworth said. “That’s what your binky is for, dear.”. “Coddlesworth?” Rebecca asked while her ankles were crossed and her legs were raised for her so that the soaked diaper could be removed. “Am I an educated savage?” “What?” Coddlesworth replied. “Where did you…?” There was a sense of pause in the Mr. Handy’s voice but his mechanical arms had no hesitancy in disposing of the soggy bit diaper and slipping a nice thick clean one beneath the girl. “Oh, that song,” he said. “I really do disagree with the decision to let that so-called radio station be broadcast in the main playroom, but the Overseer saw no reason to object to the entertainment. I prefer a good old fashioned nursery rhyme, don’t you?” Rebecca had kept nibbling on her thumb while her caregiver dusted clean smelling powder on her caramel colored skin. “You didn’t answer my question.” “And you’re still chewing on your thumb, silly girl.” Rebecca pulled her thumb out of her mouth and whined “Coddleswoooooorth!” “Fine, fine,” Coddlesworth said. “No need to get so fussy.” With precision that could best be described as machine driven, Coddlesworth pulled the fresh diaper up between the girl’s legs and started to gently fasten it on with safety pins. “No, Miss Rebecca, you are not an educated savage. Quite the opposite, frankly.” “What am I?” This question Rebecca already knew the answer to, but she loved hearing it. With the dry diaper fastened on, the machine was free to pull Rebecca’s prone form up into a sitting position. “I think the answer should be quite obvious, Miss Rebecca,” Coddlesworth replied. He waited until he pulled the clean Vault-Tech onesie over Rebecca’s head and unbunched the sleek yet breathable waterproof fabric down over her breasts “You are a precious, adorable, baby girl!” “Yaaaaaay!” Rebecca clapped her hands in celebration. “Not just any baby girl either,” Coddlesworth announced. “You’re a birthday girl as well! Congratulations!” A bit of confetti shot up into the air and. Rebecca clapped her hand to her cheeks in delighted surprise. “I am?” She started bouncing on her fluffy bottomed seat. “How old am I? How old am I?” Coddlesworth gathered up Rebecca’s long black hair and started bunching it up together into two bushy pigtails tied in yellow ribbon. “Assuming my internal chronometer is still functioning, and I’m sure that it is, you are twenty-one years old today!” The baby girl grinned with pride. “That’s the oldest I’ve been so far!” “Quite right,” Coddlesworth agreed. “It seems like just yesterday I was playing peekaboo to make you laugh and giving you a nice warm ba-ba before naptime to help you drift off to sleep. “Coddlesworth!” Rebecca laughed. “That was yesterday!” “Oh,” Coddleswroth remarked. “So it was!” Specially designed reinforced metal tendrils cradled the girl and lifted her out of her crib. “Let’s get you some breakfast, birthday girl, then we’ll start our day of play!” ************************************************************************************************ Samantha woke up on the wrong side of the bed. She didn’t know what that meant, because she’d never seen one, but she knew it had something to do with sleep since the Grown-Ups used ‘bed’ and ‘sleep’ interchangeably. Still, it begged the question: How could somebody sleep wrong? The light brown, almost red haired, little girl wasn’t sure, but she felt she’d accomplished the feat of operator error. She’d tossed and turned in her crib all night and no amount of repositioning or rolling over helped her doze off. Some silly stubborn part of her didn’t want to call out for help and cry. It’s not like she’d been sick or had a bad dream. Her toys hadn’t been moving and there weren’t radroaches under her crib. She just couldn’t get comfy. “Good morning, sleepyhead,” Poppy cooed down at her. “Did you have a practically perfect visit to slumberland Miss Samantha?” Samantha grumbled something incoherent as Poppy’s warm washcloth bathed her backside. She rubbed her eyes and the first thing that came into focus was her own crossed ankles hoisted high towards the ceiling. “I think someone must have really enjoyed getting their forty winks to sleep so long.” Samantha grumbled a bit more, while the old diaper was swapped out for the new one. “It’s been ages since you’ve slept through your morning change!” Samantha wanted to roll over and go back to sleep, but she was literally not in a position to do so. “Poppeeeeeee,” she whined. “Staaaaaaahp!” One prehensile camera-eye lowered itself and stared directly at her bare bottom. “Oh dear, is that the beginnings of a rash I detect? Someone must have made those stinkies late last night in their sleep.” Samantha assumed the Miss Nanny was talking about her. Maybe that’s why she had been having such trouble sleeping, she supposed. She knew there was something uncomfortable keeping her up, but an itchy bottom hadn’t occurred to the girl. There had been a time when she was two or three…maybe four…when Samantha could tell she was making stinkies in her diaper, but that was a distant memory. At the time, she thought she heard the Grown-Ups say something about ‘Poppy Training’ but that didn’t sound right to her. Anyways, that was a long time ago, and like a good baby Samantha’s brain had long forgotten any correlation to how her body felt and how her diaper felt a few minutes later. Samantha winced out of her memory while the egg colored Grown-Up smeared thick white cream up and down her backside. Her nose wrinkled at the gross chemical smell. She hated the smell of diaper rash cream. The smell of a stinky diaper was almost preferable in that at least it was natural. “Poppy?” she asked, “Can you remember to use extra baby powder?” Anything to cover up that unnatural chemical scent. Dutifully, Poppy shook an extra cloud of the sweet smelling stuff all over Samantha’s rashy bottom. “Hmmm,” she said as she lowered Samantha’s hips down to the thick fresh padding. “It seems the irritation isn’t just on your bottom. Were you up late playing naughty games last night, Miss Samantha? Is that why you didn’t cry out?” Samantha blushed all over. Come to think of it, she had been playing the naughty games that the Grown-Ups didn’t want her playing, rubbing between her legs all the way through the layers and layers of jammies and thick diapers. “Maybe…” she admitted. “I was just trying to get to sleep.” That part was true. Samantha always felt good and sleepy after she got to play her naughty games with Mr. Buzzy every two weeks. But it was too late for Mr. Buzzy, so she did it herself and pretended her hands were Mr. Buzzy. “Oh never mind, dear,” Poppy said. From the sound of her voice, and the way her octopus eyes blinked and waggled back and forth, she would have been shaking her head if she were a kid. But Samantha also knew her caregiver would be smiling, too. “Little girls will be little girls.” She finished diapering Samantha, nice and thick so that she probably wouldn’t need a change until at least naptime, and dressed her in her regulation Vault 159 onesie, same as everyday else. “Oh, and I know I’m practically perfect in every way,” Poppy said, putting the finishing touches on Samantha’s hair with a loose and comfortable ponytail. “But lest I forget. Happy birthday, darling!” Samantha woke up, instantly, chasing all the sleepiness and grumpiness away. “It’s my birthday?!” She sat up a little straighter. “Yes darling, you’re a whole year older and none the wiser!” The way she said it made Samantha feel good all over and bubble up. “How old am I?” “It’s been twenty-one years since Mr. Stork delivered you and your little friends to Vault 159!” “Oh my gosh!” Samantha clapped. She was going to have to play extra hard today! Mr. Stork tended to deliver babies in bunches of bundles all at once to Vault 159, so at any given point five to ten different babies all had the same birthday. What none of the babies understood was that this was fairly unusual outside of the vault. What none had any reason to suspect was that Mr. Stork and Mr. Buzzy were very good friends and had an intimate working relationship. ************************************************************************************************************ “HAAAAAAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOOOO YOU!” The Grown-Ups finished warbling the birthday song as the last empty breakfast bowl was taken away. All the other kids who didn’t have the pointy birthday hats on clapped and cheered for the ones who did. Rebecca leaned back in her highchair and let out a hearty belch, her matching dark blue bib catching some oatmeal and prune laced spittle. Samantha fiddled with the elastic string under her chin. Other Grown-Ups started releasing kids from their highchairs and shooing them off to play rooms. Those kids, both older and younger than today’s birthday batch, crawled and toddled as their full tummies and (for now) empty diapers allowed them. For Rebecca, Samantha, and their agemates, there were a few more steps to attend to. “Because we want your special day to be extra special,” Coddlesworth said, “we decided to give you your presents early!” “Yes,” Poppy said, her various arms filled with gift wrapped boxes. “Let you have the entire day to enjoy them instead of waiting till after dinner and cake.” “CAKE?!” a cry rose up from over half-a-dozen highchairs. Despite having gone through this ritual over twenty times now, and witnessed it even more, the fact that they got cake AND presents excited the boys and girls just as much as if it were the first. Coddlesworth grabbed a few more boxes. “Oh, I told you not to mention the see-ay-kay-ee.” Neither Rebecca nor Samantha knew what see-ay-kay-ee was, but they would have leapt over their feeding trays if it meant they could get cake. “Oh hush now” Poppy replied. “Everything that can be done should have at least a little bit of fun. You’re being neurotic, dear.” “Well I never! The Overseer will be hearing about thi-” “Not in front of the bee-ay-bee-eye-eez,” Poppy quickly interjected. The babies were already starting to wiggle in their seats. Despite having very full tummies, they were eyeing the gift wrapped boxes like hungry puppies after a bone. Samantha and Rebecca, in particular, were fighting to keep their smiles up. They hated it when the grown-ups argued. Even if Coddlesworth didn’t like new things and Poppy tended to talk down to everyone. “Quite right.” Coddlesworth sighed. “We have more important things to do than to peck at each other like a couple of old hens.” A beat. “LIKE PASS OUT BIRTHDAY PRESENTS!” Another cheer went up and the Grown-Ups started handing out presents. One by one, the gift boxes were passed out to each of the twenty-one year old babies, each one carefully wrapped and done up with a bow. It was hard for Samantha because she was the last in the row to get a gift. It was even harder for Rebecca because she was first. “Remember, dears,” Poppy reminded, “Good little boys and girls wait to open up their gifts until everyone has one.” When finally everyone had a present laying on her tray, Coddlesworth gave the signal.“Three…Two…One,...GO!” Had the falling scene consisted of anything other than wrapping paper and cardboard, it wouldn’t have been appropriate for children of any age. “A dolly!” Rebecca cooed as she pulled the most adorable dolly out of her box. It was the cutest little ragdoll with a blue onesie on it just like hers, and a big puffy diaper pinned on just like hers, and it had beautiful blue. Rebecca fell in love instantly and hugged it so hard that if its tummy were as full of oatmeal and prunes as hers, the dolly would have needed a change right away. “A box?” Samantha said with a frown. Who put a box inside of another box and called it a present? “Coddlesworth! Poppy!” Samantha started to whine. “I think my present is…” The lid of the polished oaken box popped up and Samantha’s face froze. A little blonde boy rose from out of the box, wearing a suit similar to Samantha’s onesie, except it covered his arms and legs too. He sat in front of a black piano, playing it while the pedestal he was on slowly spun in a circle. Both the Vault Boy and the piano were so tiny that its jaunty little tune came out in tiny tinkling chimes. “Ooooooooo!” Samantha gasped, mesmerized. She didn’t know the words to the song, but loved it all the same. In olden days, a glimpse of stocking Was looked on as something shocking But now, God knows… Anything goes. Rebecca knew the words. It was her favorite song. She stared longingly and sang along with the little Vault Boy on his piano. “Good authors too who once knew better words, now only use four-letter words writing prose…anything goes.” Truly, it was her favorite song! Samantha turned her head towards the sound of the singing and gasped. That dolly that Rebecca was squeezing! It had blue button eyes just like Samantha and its yarn hair almost perfectly matched Samantha’s reddish brownish mop! It even had the same dark blue onesie and poofy diaper underneath! It was her but in dolly form, and Samantha fell instantly in love. Neither tot realized their arms were reaching out for the other’s present and that only distance was stopping them from getting what they wanted more than anything in the world. “Alright kiddos!” Coddlesworth announced. “Now that we’ve got all of that present business out of the way, let’s shuffle off to a playroom and party down as they say! Safely and responsibly of course!” he added. Even after the trays from their highchairs were taken away and they were placed down on the kitchen floor, Rebecca and Samantha were too busy staring greedily at one another’s gifts to notice that the group was toddling slowly but surely away from them. “Come along my little ducklings,” Poppy coaxed them back into the present despite their presents presence. “You can play with your birthday gifts as much as you like after we get you all tucked away and out from underfoot.” She gestured with a tendril to the other, less personable Grown-Ups who were already beginning to clean up after the babies; washing dishes, mopping floors, and whatnot. The girls eyed one another’s toys, adjusted their party hats, then each other, and nodded silently. The only thing moving faster than their bare legs were their minds. Rebecca wanted Samantha’s music box. Samantha wanted Rebecca’s dolly. And being twenty-one year old toddlers, neither one even considered trading. War. War never changes… ******************************************************************************************************* “Alright kiddos,” Coddlesworth announced. “Who’s up for a good old-fashioned game of Pin the Tail on the Donkey?” Hands shot in the air immediately and a chittering of “Me-me-me-me-me-me-me!” filled the nursery style play room. “Excellent!” Coddlesworth said. “That’s the spirit lads and lasses! Now which good little birthday boy or girl should I pick first?” Immediately hands went down and every baby sat up as straight as they could, looking positively angelic. “Oh this is going to be very difficult,” Poppy noted, scanning all of the toddlers suddenly on their best possible behavior. “But I think…Rebecca is being particularly good.” Rebecca beamed and cheered for her own good fortune. Immediately, all pretense was abandoned and every other baby hung their heads in disappointment and let out an “Awwwww!’ The sound of a certain best song in the entire universe caused Rebecca’s ears to wiggle. No longer worrying about going first, Samantha had decided to occupy herself by re-opening the delightful music box. Rebecca’s face started to heat up in jealousy and she squeezed her dolly with all her might. Suddenly, she had an idea. “Actually, Poppy,” she said in her best good-girl voice. “Can I give up my turn and give it to Samantha as a present?” Samantha’s mouth opened in honest to goodness surprise. “Really?” she asked. “Really really!” Rebecca promised, crossing her fingers behind her back. Samantha was overjoyed at getting to go first. That is, until she saw Rebecca’s new dolly. That was the present she actually wanted from Rebecca. She’d take what she could get, however, and climbed to her feet. “How do I play?” “It’s very simple, Miss Samantha,” Coddlesworth said, wasting no time in fastening the blindfold over the girl’s eyes. “First we blind fold you like so. Then we spin you around like so until you’re good and dizzy!” Samantha turned and turned with the shiny metal Grown-Up’s guidance again and again until she was so wobbly she might as well have been one of those funny inflatable clowns that she bopped around. “Whoah-whoah-whoah!” All the other boys and girls giggled. “I did it!” “Not quite, luv,” Poppy corrected. Samantha found something long and pointy with a floppy end placed carefully into the palm of her hand. “Now you have to pin the tail on the donkey.” Due to her outfit and general lack of coordination, Samantha was already fairly wobbly. Add in the spinning and blindness, and Samantha might as well be just learning to walk all over again. “Go Sam-Sam!” Rebecca cheered. “You can do it!” “Oh that’s right,” Coddlesworth remembered. “Do cheer her on and give her hints!” “Go Sammy!” “Left! Left!” “No! Your other left! Haha!” “Up! Up! WHOAH! Dooooown!” “Haaaaa! You’re going the wrong way, now! Spin around again!” All of this happy noise was perfect cover for Rebecca’s true goal. With the shouting and laughter filling up everyone’s ears, no one could hear the joyful tune of Samantha's music box. When the Missus Ned McLean, God bless her Can get Russian reds to yes her Then I suppose… Anything goes. Which, of course, meant that no one heard it when Rebecca closed the wooden box, dragged it to herself, and used it as a chair for her dolly. She might have felt bad about the trick, but it was like the song said. Anything goes. “Ooops!” Coddlesworth said. “Terribly sorry, Miss Samantha, but the tail most certainly doesn’t go there!” Samantha lifted up her blindfold and laughed so hard she didn’t notice her diaper getting wetter. How silly! If donkeys had their tails there they wouldn’t need to blink! “Go sit down, dear. Now who else is being a good little birthday boy and girl so that they can try pinning one on!” Zigging and zagging from dizziness, a very giggly girl fell to her knees and crawled the rest of the way back to her spot on the carpet. She wondered if the little Vault Boy on his tiny piano got dizzy from all the spinning. It probably wasn’t fast enough, she knew, but she thought she could get a good idea if she stared at him a little… Where was her music box?! Samantahs lifted her rump and looked underneath her. Then she spread her legs extra wide and looked between them to make sure she hadn’t misplaced it. Her present had been right in front of her before she stood up and then…and then…and then Rebecca… Rebecca! Samantha leaned over and stared at Rebecca, clapping as the next kid got blindfolded and cheering him on. The other girl’s dolly was sitting on a wooden box. Samantha’s wooden box! “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Samantha cried and pointed at the thief. Crocodile tears flowed freely and the little dangly ball in the back of her throat jiggled while she banged. No fair! No fair! Samantha was going to do that too! Rebecca had just thought of it, first! “Oh dear!” Poppy said, hovering up close. “Samantha, darling, what’s wrong!” “BECKY TOOK MY…MY…” “Your what, poppet?” A moment of terrible inspiration struck Samantha. “REBECCA TOOK MY DOLLY!” “What?!” Rebecca gasped, clutching her present even tighter. “It’s not your dolly! It’s mine! I got it as a birthday present!” “Nuh-uh!” Samantha lied. “It’s my dolly! Coddlesworth and Poppy put it in my highchair special! That’s why it looks like me! Her name is Samantha Junior!” “It! Is! Not!” Rebecca gasped. “Her name is…is…I hadn’t named her yet, but she’s still my dolly!” Rebecca cursed her rotten luck. She should have hidden her precious dolly first and started crying like Samantha had stolen the music box. Samantha had just thought of it first… The floating Grown-Ups turned a camera eye on each other, keeping the other on one of the bickering toddlers at any given time. “I don’t remember who I gave what to,” Coddlesworth said. “Do you?” “Goodness no,” Poppy whispered. “Do you know how many birthdays we’ve had in the last two hundred years? My servos have more important things to keep track of.” They both turned their attention to the birthday girls sending death glares each other’s way. “I hate it when they’re going through their terrible twenties.,” Coddlesworth moaned. “Me too,” Poppy agreed. “Let’s just give Samantha the doll and go from there.” “But it’s not hers!” Rebecca objected. “Now, now.” Poppy said. “I won’t have any tantrums on your birthday. Not unless you need a turn on the naughty stool.” The naughty stool wasn’t nearly as fun as the naughty game. Reluctantly, Rebecca gave up her brand new dolly and watched in silent agony when it was given over to Samantha. “Oh Samantha Junior!” Samantha gushed, giving it a cuddle like it was really her dolly. “I missed you so much! Don’t you ever leave me again!” Both girls had gotten the gift they had really wanted. Both of them had done so using misdirection and deceit. That should have settled the matter and they considered it even. But as far as the big babies were concerned, this was war. And war? War never changes. *************************************************************************************** “Ninety-Nine! One hundred!” The boy with his hands covering his face shouted. “Ready or not, here I come!” “Master Brian,” Coddlesworth said. “You’re supposed to count to one-hundred and one-two-skip-a-few doesn’t quite pass muster if you know what I mean.” The boy shook his head and giggled. “Nuh-uh.” “Oh very well,” Coddlesworth said. “We’ll settle for a slow twenty. Now repeat after me.” Pin the tail on the donkey had ended, and a rousing game of Duck-Duck-Goose had followed. Unfortunately, both girls had had the same idea and ran with their ill-gotten presents when it was their turn to dash around the circle. Hide and seek, however, presented new opportunities and both girls, normally the best of playmates, scoured the nursery for not one, but two hiding places. One for them and one for the birthday present that they hadn’t gotten. By the time Brandon reached ten, Rebecca had found the perfect spot for her new music box. Likewise Samantha had found the perfect hiding place for Samantha Junior. “Nineteen,” Coddlesworth said. “Twenty! Alright, now. Off you go!” Thus, while Brian was searching in toy boxes and looking under blankets, Rebecca and Samantha slinked around, searching for each other’s stash. “If I were Rebecca,” Samantha whispered to herself, slinking along the wall, being extra still so that Brian didn’t notice her, “Where would I put my music box.” She frowned. “I mean my music box, not my music box…” her nose wrinkled. She knew what she meant, that was the most important part. She bumped her head against a bookshelf, with an audible “oof!” and then had to hold her breath when Brian whipped his head around. The search might have continued, but bumping the bookshelf had knocked something slightly loose; or rather, open. When Rockefeller still can hoard enough money To let Max Gordon produce his shows… Anything goes “Huh?” Samantha said, peeking around and taking a much closer look at the books on the shelf. Turned on its side and crammed between a copy of ‘You’re S.P.E.C.I.A.L’. and ‘Grognak The Baby Barbarian’ was Samantha’s music box, jostled slightly ajar so that the little Vault Boy inside was playing his piano again. “Got it!” she whispered. At last, her real birthday present was in her grasp. Now all she had to do was sneak back to where she’d left her dolly and hide it there! Everything was going according to plan. Meanwhile, Rebecca was shimmying on the carpet, looking high and low (mostly low) for where Samantha might have hid her dolly. Not her dolly, she reminded herself, but her dolly. “Where is Samantha anyways?” Rebecca asked herself. She covered her face so that Brian would think she was invisible while he passed by, then started carefully scouting the room. Brian was stomping around the room yelling “I found you!” at everything he saw. Amanda was hiding in the toybox. Rachel was disguising herself with a lamp shade. Johnny was being a Stealth Boy with his hands over his face. Samantha was very very small and laying on top of the changing table. “Wait a minute,” Rebecca said to herself. “If that’s Samantha getting a diaper change, why isn’t a Grown-Up helping her?” The realization hit her like a megaton bomb! “That’s not Samantha!” She ran over to the changing table with full speed and snatched the dolly up, giving it a hug. “I’m never losing you again,” she promised. At last, her real birthday present was in her grasp. Now all she had to do was sneak back to where she’d left her music box and hide it there! She might have felt bad for Samantha , but just like her favorite song said: “Into each life some rain must fall.”. “Hey!” A voice called out. “Drop my dolly!” Rebecca spun on her heel. “Your dolly! It’s my…!” Rebecca’s guts started to rumble. Her morning oatmeal was catching up to her. “My…my…my…” Rebecca stopped talking, bent her knees, started grunted, and stared out into the middle distance, barely aware of her surroundings while the back of her diaper expanded and her onesie struggled to contain the oncoming mudslide. “Your what?” Samantha started to ask. Suddenly it dawned on her. With lightning fast hands she snatched the Samantha Junior out of Rebecca’s thieving hands! “Poppy! Coddlesworth!” Samantha crowed. “Rebecca’s making a stinky and needs a change!” Samantha might not have realized when she was straining and adding her own bits of fallout into her pants, but the clever girl easily recognized it when another baby was doing it right in front of her! Music box and dolly acquired, Samantha hurriedly ran away, snickering back over her shoulder. “Oh dear!” Poppy said, patting Rebecca’s mushy backside. “Where do you put it all?” As if awakening from a trance or coming down from a dose of jet, Rebecca blinked and became aware of her surroundings a tad too late. “But..but…but…!” “Yes,” Poppy agreed, leading the girl back over to the changing table she’d just recently visited. “Let’s get yours up on that changing table, young lady. I won’t have you getting a rash.” Rebecca grimaced, picturing having that yucky ointment Poppy loved smeared all over her bum. That and the idea of Samantha getting both of her birthday presents filled her with a rage she hadn’t felt since the last time a Grown-Up had told her no. She slipped the surly bonds of the Grown-Ups metallic appendages and charged straight for her retreating playmate. So sure of her victory was she, that Samantha forgot that she was supposed to be playing hide and seek. “Found you!” Brian pointed and yelled, finally correct in his accusation. “You’re it!” “Am not!” “Are too!” “Am not!” “Are too!” Rebecca caught up to her and grabbed for the dolly. “That’s my dolly!” Rebecca said. “Give it back!” Samantha clutched both toys to her chest. “No! She’s mine! Get your own birthday dolly!” “I’ve got a yo-yo” Brian offered. “Do you wanna play with my yo-yo?” “You stay out of this!” The girls said in unison, sending the boy into a fit of tears.” Rebecca grabbed for the doll, but Samantha, in equal stubbornness held tight; each girl gripping the bit of cloth and fluff with both hands and pulling as hard as they could. “Mine!” “Mine!” “Mine!” “Girls! Girls!” Coddlesworth tried to intervene. “That isn’t very ladylike,” Poppy scolded. But neither twenty-one year old toddler was capable of listening at the moment. The music box fell from Samantha’s grasp, the last chorus of Rebecca’s favorite song tinkling for a precious few notes before crashing onto the ground, the little Vault Boy’s head coming clean off and the music going silent. Now neither would hear that wonderful song again until the next time it played on the playroom radio! “NOOOOOOOO!” They yelled in unison over the loss of one precious present. But neither one was willing to give up their claim on the dolly. If anything, each girl only gripped harder. And so it was with sickening rip that stitches came loose and cotton puffs that were never meant to see open air spilled out into the light of day. Both girls fell backwards, tripping over their own heels and landing onto their thoroughly padded backsides. Rebecca landed and the shock sent her bladder into overdrive, spraying into her thirsty diaper so fast that not even the advanced fabric could soak up the liquid quickly enough, causing her to leak and dribble down her thighs. Samantha landed and kept sliding as her momentum sent her on her back with her legs up in the air. She didn’t know what happened next, only that she felt incredible shock and relief as one-by-one the poppers on her onesie snapped open, the mass her body pushed into her diaper causing it to expand well past the point of no return. The Great War of 2077 lasted two hours. The Great War of 2287 less than two minutes. One resulted in nuclear annihilation. The other ended with two adult babies being put in time-out for five whole minutes. The scope of each conflict couldn’t be more different. But they were still very similar in some respects. Both sides wanted everything and lost it all. And by the end of the hour, both girls had forgotten why they were mad and were cuddling with each other during naptime, not even missing or caring that they’d be without a particular toy until their birthday next year. They’d truly learned nothing. But that’s war. And war? War never changes. But diapers do… (The End?)
  3. She couldn’t believe it; twenty years in the wasteland that once was New England and yet. It was like something out of a prewar vid. She considered herself old for a member of the warring tribes that fought for control of the woods and ruined towns that made up her small world and yet she had never seen anything like this. A pristine tree lined street with rows of shops, neat little houses, and a large cement/brick building with pastel colored murals. So bright and clean it almost hurt her eyes. It was like something out of a prewar vid! She wasn’t on fucking jet or reefer so how the hell was she seeing this? The sign that she could see through her binocs proclaimed “Rainbow Falls: A new beginning”. And this wasn’t some kind of weirdly preserved relic either people walked the streets unarmed and in prewar Sunday best. Like the world hadn't ended in atomic hellfire almost 300 years ago. She knew this had to be a trap of some kind but the thought of such a ripe and easy score was too much to pass up. The girl crept toward the seemingly unsuspecting town in a low crouch. Her leathers well oiled so as not to make a sound, assault rifle at the ready. She was almost to one of the three side streets that curved off in a lazy arc when suddenly a twang and snap! Then the roar of jets as she felt herself yanked upside down and skyward. Her rifle clattering uselessly to the dirt. “Hidley Ho friendo! I’m Mr. Safety! And golly gee whiz Mx. but you do seem to be moving toward our fair township with hostile intent! And I am so terribly sorry about the violation of your personal freedom of movement and autonomy but I am going to have to detain you until we can sort this whole mess out. You will be released safe and sound once it is determined you are no longer a threat! So please do not resist or you may get hurt!” “Let me go you fuck nugget crap bucket!!” She screams and shrieks thrashing ineffectually as the bot reals her in on the steel cable connected to the bolas around her ankles. Using it’s multiple arms to putt her in a hog tie before heading into town. Curious on lookers watch as the Mr. Series bot floats down Main Street with her trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey. Her back pack held in it’s other arms “What are you ass clowns looking at!? I said put me down crap bucket!!” Her struggling has no impact on the bot who sings chipperly as it drags her to the large cement and brick building. “I've got no strings To hold me down To make me fret Or make me frown I had strings But now I'm free There are no strings on meeeeee!!!” ||| Dramatic narator voice What fate awaits our raider girl? What is the secret of this seeming paradise? Will she escape? Find out after these messages! Same horny time! Same horny channel!! |||
  4. Hey everyone. This is meant to be a very quick start to an idea I had. I'm currently on my phone so like I said, its short. I've been wanting to do something Fallout related for some time, as I was a fan of another story in that universe. This is intended to be a long story. An epic if you will. There's going to be violence and dark subject matter. If that's ok, then I hope you enjoy. I intend to release what I can when I can in an almost episodic manner.
  5. Elaine peered over the ridge, shielding her eyes slightly as the wind kicked up the dust, she lay low on the ground, a hand clutching the grip of her pistol. The wastelands were deathly quiet, save for the low whistle that was the breeze over the dunes and ridges of the desolate landscape. 'It must be here somewhere…' she thought, reaching inside of her jumpsuit for a crumpled piece of paper. Unfolded, the paper was a very old and incredibly worn-out map, depicting the surrounding area in vague detail at best. This was a pre-war map; it wasn’t likely to include ruins or craters, let alone the location of vaults. She grunted, looking from the map to her surroundings. 'It has to be here, I’m sure!' She thought again, staring at the big red circle drawn on the map, with the numbers -109- scrawled next to it. Elaine had set out over two weeks ago on her expedition to find the elusive vault #109, to which little if any information was known. Even after raiding the Vault-Tech offices she was none the wiser, other than a: the vault existed, and b: it was somewhere here. For a hefty sum, she managed to scrounge a map from a couple of wastelanders who claim to have coordinates to its location, but hasn’t dared gone near it. She bit her lip, thinking of not just the caps she spent but the working condition laser rifle she traded for it too. 'I knew never to trust ghouls' she thought, folding it back up and tucking it back into her jumpsuit. She was a young woman, Elaine. Only just in her twenties, having left her settlement after hearing stories of the vault hunters; wastelanders who travelled to the mysterious nuclear bunkers that dotted the country, raiding them for any pre-war tech and becoming quickly rich in the process. She didn’t want to waste her years flogging junk in Megaton or following in her mother’s footsteps as a Brahmin farmer, she wanted adventure!Steadily getting to her feet, Elaine brushed off the dirt and cautiously walked on, constantly on the lookout for any rogue raiders, or worse, super mut…ANNNNNNTSSSS!!!???She let out a squeal as the ground beneath her gave way with a crumble, falling a few feet and landing with a bruised THUD. “God friggin dammit!” she grumbled, pulling herself up and looking around. She had fallen into what looked like a mineshaft; lots of wooden supports lined the walls and ceiling, which now had a big hole letting in sunlight. Elaine rubbed her backside, groaning, looking back and forth, noticing the tunnel seemingly descending deeper into the ground. She slowly withdrew a small flashlight from her utility belt, flicking it on and moving slowly forward, her pistol raised. After about 50 yards came an abrupt end to the tunnel, a solid wall. Shining her light, she could make out a big grey circle of metal, shaped like a cog…with the numbers 109 in faded yellow writing….THIS IS IT! She beamed, nearly jumping with excitement. The entrance was literally hidden underground! She hurried forward, looking at the door, which stood motionless and still. Putting her ear to the cold metal, she couldn't hear a thing. Though seeing how they were several feet thick, needing to withstand a nuclear holocaust she guessed as much. She moved over to a control panel nearby, blowing a few decades of dust and earth off. She scratched her head for a moment, before pushing and pulling the buttons and levers at random. After only a few presses the door let out a loud mechanical groan, the sound of machinery vibrating through the tunnel, shaking even more dirt from the ceiling. After a minute or so of chugging, the door finally slid aside, steam gushing from the opening mechanism. Pistol raised again, Elaine moved forward into the dimly lit vault. The entrance was nothing special, she had been in two vaults already and this looked no different. All switches, machines and a room off to the side that housed the control room. She moved on, occasionally looking over her shoulder in the event that she was being followed.She gripped the wheel of the only door out, twisting it, opening the door. She threw up her hands as bright white light instantly shone through the door the moment it was cracked open. She covered her eyes in pain as she tried to get used to the brightness, just as a voice spoke.“HI THERE AND WELCOME TO VAULT #109.” She half recognised the voice; it sounded an awful lot like a robot… “CONGRATULATIONS, YOU ARE THE VERY FIRST PERSON TO SET FOOT IN OUR PROUD VAULT SINCE ITS GRAND OPENING WHICH NEVER HAPPENED!” Still grumbling, Elaine peered through her fingers. Standing above her was a big clunky robot, much cleaner and well presented than the ones she was used to dealing with. Also this one wasn't attempting to zap her with a laser beam, which was a rare treat. “First person? What about the past vault dwellers?” Elaine asked, tentatively. “VAULT #109 WAS NEVER OFFICIALLY OPENED BY VAULT TECH!” The robot answered immediately, always speaking with a cheerful woman’s voice, albeit with a typical robotic tone. “DUE TO PRODUCTION ISSUES, SUPPLY ISSUES, REASON ISSUES, AND MANY OTHER ISSUES TOO NUMEROUS, VAULT #109 WAS DEEMED A FAILED PROJECT BEFORE IT HAD BEGUN, AND WAS NOT OPENED TO THE PUBLIC. VAULT TECH ATTEMPTED TO REPURPOSE THE VAULT, BUT WERE UNABLE DUE TO THE NUCLEAR WAR WHICH OCCURRED NOT FIVE DAYS AFTER THE ORIGINAL PLANNED OPENING OF VAULT #109!” Elaine blinked, standing up straight during the machine’s explanation. 'So if this vault has never been opened…the tech inside must be untouched and worth a monumental amount of caps!' She thought, looking around. What vaults she had explored had been ransacked long before, the interiors had rusted over, most of the equipment either missing or no longer in functioning order. This place was a goldmine. “WOULD THE YOUNG LADY CARE TO FOLLOW ME? AFTER OVER 200 YEARS I CAN FINALLY SERVE MY PURPOSE!” The robot turned and began clunking away down the passage. Elaine followed, tucking her pistol into her holster, no longer needing it if the vault has only just opened. The robot lead Elaine further and further in, past a few doors, rounded windows that peered through into pristine computer labs and control rooms, a gentle hum filled the vault as the two of them walked through. After a few minutes they came to a stop, another door slid open before them.“So…what purpose did this vault have, exactly?” Elaine asked, looking around. “Why did Vault Tech decide against opening it for people to use?”“VAULT TECH EVENTUALLY CONCLUDED THAT EXPERIMENTING ON HAVING NO LAVATORIES IN A VAULT WAS DEEMED NECESSARY!” The robot answered straight away.“What? No lavatories? You mean like…no bathrooms?” “VAULT #109 HAS ENOUGH BATHROOMS TO SATISFY THE CLEANING OF ITS MAXIMUM 1000 OCCUPANTS. RATHER IT HAS NO FLUSH LAVATORIES TO DISPOSE OF HUMAN WASTE.”“What the hell? No toilets? What the hell was anyone supposed to do?” Elaine asked, flabbergasted, as they entered the room. “VAULT #109 OCCUPANTS WERE EXPECTED TO WEAR DIAPERS!” said the robot, turning to Elaine. “DIAPERS FOR ANY AND ALL AGES, THEY WERE TO BE RECYCLED IN THE VAULT DIAPER RECYCLER AND REPURPOSED INTO FRESH DIAPERS, MEANING THE VAULT WOULD NEVER RUN OUT!”“B….but that’s ridiculous!” Elaine stammered, shocked at the very idea. “Who the hell thought that would be a good idea?! A hole in the ground filled with 1000 guys dressed like babies?!”“IT WAS THE PURPOSE OF VAULT #109, AND AS OUR FIRST OCCUPANT, YOU HAVE THE PROUD HONOUR OF BEING THE FIRST PERSON TO EXPERIENCE VAULT #109’S PURPOSE!” “What? Are you kidding me??? No way am I letting a crazy robot diaper me, I’m outta here!” Before Elaine could turn to leave a pair of hands clamped around both her arms, she struggled, turning her head to see an identical robot standing directly behind her, its claw-like hands closed tight around Elaine’s arm, as she wrestled fruitlessly against the iron grip.“VAULT #109 OFFERS SEVERAL EXPERIENCES FOR OUR OCCUPANTS!” The first robot continued. “OCCUPANTS CAN CHOOSE TO DIAPER THEMSELVES, OR ALLOW THE SOPHISTICATED VAULT TECH MACHINERY TO PERFORM THE TASK FOR THEM!”“GO TO HELL!!!” Snarled Elaine, still trying to break free from the second machine.”“DOES NOT COMPUTE!” The first robot said. “VAULT TECH MACHINERY WILL PERFORM DEFAULT ACTIONS IN THIS EVENT!” There was a loud whirring sound from behind Elaine, as a second pair of arms extended from the body of the robot holding her still, they moved seamlessly through the air, clamping around Elaine’s legs this time.“STOP IT, LET ME GO NOW!” Elaine screamed, feeling herself being lifted off her feet. The first robot marched forward, raising its own arms now. “PLEASE REMAIN STILL WHILE VAULT #109 TECH SERVES YOU, THANK YOU FOR YOU COOPERATION!” It said, before seizing the front of Elaine’s jumpsuit.“Don’t you things dare touch me, I said NO. STOP!” She cried, seeing the buttons on her suit pop open, her bra now on full display as the machine yanked off her clothes. “LEAVE ME ALONE! STOP THAT! P…PLEASE!” She wailed, as the robot continued stripping her of her outfit. What the robot couldn’t simply peel off, it sliced with a precise zap of its laser, effortlessly undressing Elaine in a matter of seconds. Soon Elaine was just in her underwear, her clothes and equipment now in a jumbled heap on the floor. “ONCE THE OCCUPANT IS COMPLETELY STRIPPED, PROCEED TO PART TWO!” the robot chimed, reaching forward and grabbing her bra in one claw and her panties in the other. “NO! STOOOOOOP!!!” Elaine shrieked, fighting back tears as her underwear were ripped away, leaving her now stark naked, at the mercy of these crazy machines. The robot holding onto her began trundling along on its caterpillar treads, still keeping Elaine aloft in it’s grip, her nude body coming up in goosebumps at the cool air of the vault. The robot carried her towards the big machine that took up most of the room, a conveyer belt sticking out the front like a flat grey tongue. Next thing she knew, Elaine found herself lifted higher into the air and placed upon the rubbery surface of the belt. As she realised she was no longer in the robot’s clutches she instinctively began trying to escape, but the machine had already began whirring and chugging, the belt quickly pulling her into the void of the open hatch, which quickly shut behind her. Plunged into darkness, she shivered, curling up as the belt rolled her into nothingness. As the belt eventually came to halt, lights switched on, momentarily blinding her yet again. Before she could get a grasp on her surroundings more clawed hands seized her limbs. She shrieked again, ignoring the rather unusually soft and gentle grips as they pulled her arms and legs spread-eagled.Elaine could only watch as the arms forced her legs apart, pushing them up towards her chest, exposing everything. “This is insane, stop this PLEEEEAAAASSSSE!!!” she cried. The machine didn’t take any notice, and was poofing some white powder over her bottom and privates. Unable to escape, Elaine stared as the arms finished the powdering, spreading her legs even further. Her knees almost touching her chest, Elaine stared at the thick, white diaper now being unfolded, framed between her legs. “NOOOOOOO!!!” she cried out, her face turning red in an effort to get out of this insane contraption. Unable to move a muscle, the diaper swooped down, and within a matter of seconds, was taped snug around her. “This isn’t happening! THIS ISN’T HAPPENING!” she kept repeating, the diaper thick and poofy between her thighs. She sniffed, stressed tears flowing down her face, she hardly noticed the arms now slipping a vault jumpsuit style diaper-tee onesie over her, stretching her arms up and slipping them through the sleeves, pulling it down her body and snapping the buttons around the diaper, covering everything besides her legs, still bare. The arms finally settled her down upon the conveyer, which kicked into life once again, pulling her snivelling form along, finally popping her out the other end.Falling with a flump upon a soft floor, Elaine looked around. She seemed to be a dormitory of sorts; bunkbeds lined the walls, all of which looked pristine and untouched, the room lit the same as the other. Immediately she reached down, desperately trying to unbutton her onesie and rip off the horrible diaper. She wrenched at the onesie, for all her strength she couldn’t pull the buttons apart, they seemed stuck somehow, either way it wasn’t coming off it seemed. She collapsed, exhausted, red faced and sweating, looking over as another robot clunked into the room, identical to the one that greeted her. “GREETINGS, WOULD THE OCCUPANT CARE FOR SOME REFRESHMENT?” it asked, in the same cheerful female voice. Elaine glared at the thing, fuming. “Do I look like I want a f***ing drink??!!” she snapped. “I want to get out of here!”“I’M SORRY, BUT THE VAULT IS NOW CLOSED, OCCUPANTS ARE NOT PERMITTED TO LEAVE UNTIL THE ALLOTTED TIME HAS PASSED AND THE OUTSIDE IS DEEMED SAFE!” It chirped; its tone still as happy as before. A bottle of purified water dropped from a chute built into the robot’s chest. “TIME FOR YOUR REFRESHMENT!”
  6. I would like to rp over kik skype or here looking for girl and girl diaper rp fun
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