Enthusi

I'm surprised your continence nurse isn't pushing you to get out of nappies, especially with your history of diabetes. You'd think they would be nervous about the risk of skin breakdown leading to severe infections. I mean don't get me wrong, that's great that you don't have to explain yourself.

I have several medical conditions. Even though they're well managed and I'm in good health overall, they require me to see several specialists, and undergo exams and procedures, some of which involve me disrobing. Long gone are the days when I could get away without wearing a diaper to a doctor's appointment. Generally speaking my providers know I'm incontinent and they don't really care. Even so, it stresses me out whenever I have to meet with a new provider. The difficulty lies in explaining why I prefer to wear diapers when there are other treatments available. It's one thing to say that my incontinence is multifactorial, or that my muscles don't cooperate. It's another to flat out decline referrals to providers who can help make it better. Obviously I don't owe my medical providers an explanation. But even so, it would be nice to find a way to signal diapers make me happy without saying "diapers make me happy."

As somebody who’s been dealing with it for a long time, do you have any tips or suggestions?

@DiapergirlWB have you considered using an enema or suppository to keep yourself regular on days you cant easily change when you accidentally poop? I’ve done “full 24/7” for weeks at a time, and that’s how I managed workdays. I had a long morning commute. I put on a cheap diaper and give myself a suppository. By the time I got to work I was messy. I was always the first one at work, so I’d quickly slip in and change and throw the messy diaper in a dumpster. Obviously your circumstances will be different, but I’m sure you could figure out a system that allows you to be full 24/7 and regular.

More common than you might think. On a few occasions when describing to lay people that I wear an “incontinence brief” they look at me funny. I’ve had to clarify, “I’m wearing an ADULT DIAPER” for it to click. Yup. I haven’t had the need to tell coworkers but I’ve been in positions where I had to tell people that I hadn’t intended to tell at first, because we had gotten close and because of awkward bathroom moments. My sister’s boyfriend comes to mind. People are generally supportive and affirming, as I’m sure you’d be if they had a potentially embarrassing issue.

Wouldn’t it be great if you could become so aloof, that you don’t make the connection between bladder fullness and “I need to pee”? My guess is it’s not possible to achieve that level aloofness. For starters, we are conditioned from a very young age that bladder pressure means you gotta pee. Second, simple cause and effect would tell you that the more pressure you feel the more urgent you need to pee, and when you pee the pressure goes away. Then again, if you could somehow train yourself to not trust the sensation of bladder fullness, that might work. Or maybe trick your body into thinking that you’re peeing when you are not, or even that you always have bladder pressure, that might work. But that would be an extremely difficult feat to pull off. I want be clear that it absolutely is possible to train yourself to ignore the sensation of bladder pressure. That’s already the case with myself and others. When you can’t stop yourself from peeing, or make yourself pee, there is no point in paying attention to the bladder signal. It’s more or less superfluous data. Though when I do sense bladder pressure, I know what it means, just as I did when I was 3 years old. Maybe that’s as good as it gets.

I never thought of it that way! The sadness and boredom is with regards to not having an all-consuming goal like I used to have. So far I haven’t found anything to fill that gap. When it comes living my life as someone with severe urinary incontinence, I am anything but sad and bored. It was inevitable that the day would come where I didn’t have anything work towards. It’s a natural consequence of successfully completing the mission. Now that incontinence has been sought and achieved, making it a mission to support others who are less further along in their journey is turning out to a deeply meaningful experience for me.

I’ve doing a lot of reflecting on my journey. I started rigorously untraining over five years ago when I ditched all my underwear. It’s been the journey of a lifetime and I have no regrets. I was disciplined and relentless in untraining and surpassed my expectations. I have severe/total urinary incontinence and I’ll likely be “stuck” in diapers. My journey isn’t over and I don’t think it will ever be. My bladder continues to shrink leading to increased frequency of wettings and a progressively deeper sense of helplessness. I am also spending a lot of time contemplating the duality of diapers simultaneously being a source of joy and a sign of failure. There’s also lingering questions of bowel incontinence. I don’t desire it the way I do for UI, but I’m not doing anything to prevent it. But my journey is over in the sense that being more diaper dependent is irrelevant. Does it really matter if I helplessly pee myself every 20 minutes instead of every 40 minutes? Not really. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t sad or even bored. My untraining took up so much of my time and it was such a labor of love. It was a mission that I could sink my teeth into. Though it’s not all gloom and doom. In fact I am finding a deep unexpected joy in helping others untrain. Desiring incontinence is such a bizarre and taboo thing. Even among ABDLs we are in the minority. It involves undoing a normal bodily function (bladder control) that is useful convenient. Incontinence is a terrible condition to live with if you don’t enjoy it. I’m slowly but steadily writing my guide on Targeted Untraining which is based on my journey and observations of what makes people more successful. It involves understanding how bladder control works so you can design and deploy individualized, meaningful techniques to undo it. There’s nothing like it out there. I love lending my experience, celebrating joyful milestones, and providing support to those who feel frustrated or stuck or lonely. Please keep the updates coming. Happy to help. ?

I recently posted something on Reddit about how NS is in danger of losing the ABDL market. Megamax is a great product but it’s got stiff competition and the entire rest of their product line is overpriced and outmatched by the competition. They don’t offer a hybrid product, and they haven’t made any major improvements to their diapers in years. Plus even though it’s a psychological thing, every major ABDL manufacturer either offers free shipping, or the minimum qualifying purchase is a case or less. With NS, not even a case of Megamax, their premium product qualifies for free shipping. I got slammed with lots of people replying NS isn’t an ABDL brand, as if I didn’t know that. Gotta love Reddit! What people may not realize is that ABDLs make up a sizable portion of their consumer base, even if they’re target consumer. Not only that but their target audience is young active people with incontinence. And young active people are tech savvy and price conscious and nothing stops them from buying plain diapers from ABDL sites or even from Amazon.

Hi friends, I am going to keep this short and sweet. I continue to make progress on my untraining guide. I plan to have a section on resources for hypnosis, and I could use help with compiling a curated list of resources and hypnotists. This includes pre-recorded tracks, hypnotists who take commissions, erotic hypnotists, and any resources for learning self-hypnosis. Thanks!

{Magically appears out of thin air}. Why hello! Bedwetting is one of those elusive things that either seems to come easily and early on, or it’s a struggle and takes forever. You’d think it would be correlated to your level of daytime control. And while thats true to a degree, it’s not always the case. Not only that, but even for bedwetters, some people like myself will soak through a Megamax with a booster overnight while others can get away with little more than an ATN. In other words… don’t stress if you’re doing all the right things and making great progress (regress?) during the day and are bone dry at night. It may be that’s just the way it is for you. Rest assured there are babies out there who are nowhere near being potty trained who wake up dry. The other thing I would add is that there seems to be a progression in the way bedwetting comes about. At first you wake up and pee and go right back to sleep. With time you start peeing as you’re waking up, and then right before you wake up and eventually after months you pee in a twilight phase where you’re half asleep. And eventually you sleep right through it. So if you’re an aspiring bedwetter (that’s probably the first time in history those two words have ever been used together!) and you wake up with the urge to pee, simply relax your bladder and roll over and go back to sleep, knowing you’re already on your way.

I used to take a suppository on my way to work and put on a junky diaper just for the commute. I was always the first to arrive and I could duck in run to the private bathroom, change, spray some air freshener and run my poopy diaper out to the dumpster without anyone being the wiser for it. Now I work from home. I don’t know if it’s an option for you but can you try a suppository or enema in the morning? It may be faster in the long run and you it’s not uncommon for incontinent folks to do the same so they don’t have to worry about accidents when out and about.

Perfect timing! I was stalled for a while. Because this is a passion project I’m doing on the side it keeps taking a back seat whenever higher priority things come up. However, I am working on it. The question I asked earlier today on the forum about how you reward yourself for victories was for Part 2: Developing Your Arsenal in the fight against bladder control. I see rewards for untraining as yet another weapon. That said, I’ve been chatting with an online friend about the possibility of creating a wiki on the topic of untraining (and perhaps expand to other topics as well). He’s a tech wiz has the capability to do it. My technique would be included as well as others. That’s going to be a massive undertaking and we haven’t discussed any details beyond that we have a mutual interest and desire to make a wiki on the topic. I think we can all agree that a wiki would be far more useful than any pdf guide and allows for collaboration and growth. Because that’s further in the horizon, the best thing for me to do is continue my guide as a pdf, though structured in such a way that it can easily be converted to a few wiki pages. In summary… stay tuned!

I’ve been reflecting on this a lot recently. Similar to so many others who frequent this forum, with my incontinence desires being what they are, and with me being so used to being diaper dependent, it’s difficult to maintain perspective. It’s like that little voice that tells me it’s not normal for me as a healthy(ish) active typically developing man to uncontrollably urinate himself without any warning day and night has been muted. I don’t care if someone sees my diaper poking out. They’re my underwear and I treat them as such And yet every now and then something happens that makes me realize that having to wear diapers is this horrible thing. Examples include: 1. A former coworker lamenting that her husband has prostate cancer but he doesn’t want surgery because he doesn’t want to to have to “piss in a diaper.” 2. Reading about how during New Year’s Eve in Times Square there’s no bathroom access for 8+ hours and so some people resort to wearing adult diapers. People ask me questions like what to do with the diaper once they peed in it. As if it has to be changed the minute it gets wet. And the way the articles write about this option makes it clear it’s not for the faint of heart. 3. I recently stumbled upon a would you rather question prompt that asked if you would rather always feel like have to pee, or wear a diaper and have never feel like you need to pee. I still don’t know the answer to this but the fact that they even had to ask tells me it’s not a a no-brainer. I feel like I’m missing something about how undesirable diapers are for most adults.

Hi Jazz, please don’t take this personally but I had a hard time following your post. Clearly you put a lot of time into writing this. However I’m not even sure what points you are trying to convey. There are a lot of run-on sentences that include details irrelevant to the paragraph. You touch on themes ranging from why you want to wear diapers, having diaper dreams, preferred brand of diapers, hypnosis, gender expression, increased frequency, having accidents, being sick, and ambivalence about going 24/7. Can you concisely summarize the salient points? Again I want to emphasize that my feedback comes from a place of compassion.

I have a lot of ABDL friends in IRL who love wearing and using diapers just as much as I do. But none of them share the same urge I had (have) to be diaper dependent and stuck in diapers for life. I’ve always wondered what’s up with that.

@Kaliborio Regarding question 3 about fading memories of being continent, something tangentially related is forgetting what it feels like to put a fresh clean pair of underwear on in the morning and simply head out for the day. After so many years of packing a diaper bag for the day, it’s hard for me to imagine not doing that.

@oznl thanks! It is truly a labor of love. I’ve done lots of stints of 24/7, with my first one at the ripe old age of 17. I still can’t believe I had the cajoles to wear diapers to high school, but that just shows how much I hated having bladder control even at a young age. But I digress. Anyways it’s been 5 years since I last wore boxers, and probably the last time of my life. I’ve actively untrained for 3-4 years.Back when the pandemic started in 2020 I splurged for a private personal hypnotist which I met with on Skype regularly. This was instrumental for my success and set everything else in motion. It was very different than using generic mp3s you find online. It was more like therapy where we identified my personal barriers to seeing myself as incontinent and worked through those. Along the way I did guided imagery and bladder relaxation exercises religiously to further weaken my bladder control and reinforce my self-perception of being incapable of stopping urine from leaking out. Think of it as moving in concentric circles towards a singular goal of pissing myself uncontrollably. So basically either 3 years, or 5 years, or several decades, depending on your frame of reference.

Spreading some holiday cheer! ?

Just a small quick update: Last night, overnight, we got hit with a snowstorm. I woke up this morning and excitedly jumped out of bed and ran to the window to marvel at the winter landscape. My fleece footed pajamas kept me cozy. As I was gazing out the window I noticed a subtle wave of warmth spread over my crotch. It was just enough to draw my attention away from the outside world. I could tell from how swollen my diaper was that I had wet quite a bit overnight. As I waddled back to bed, I felt the last few drops of pee leaking out of me, along with deeper, warm-fuzzy feeling about how far I’ve come in my journey. ? To all of you here, thank you for being so awesome. To those here who, like me, felt their potty training was a mistake, and earlier in your journey, I implore you to hang in there. Moments like this make it all worthwhile. ❤️

This is amazing and your approach has a lot in common with the approach I used to untrain myself, which I am (slowly) writing a guide on. Something that will help you on your journey is accepting that you’re incontinent, because… well, you are! This is quite common. In fact @Kaliborio recently wrote about this in her Tumblr blog… how those of us who untrain think we are continent when we are not. Once you accept and identify as someone who has poor bladder control you’ll appreciate that you have an obligation to stay dry and the only practical way for you to meet this obligation is with diapers. You’ll notice that you feel strangely vulnerable when not diapered and so you rely on your diaper to keep you dry, like it’s a crutch. This will likely worsen your bladder control in the long run but that’s a good thing, right? Your bladder control already isn’t that good, and it’s only going to get worse with time. As for community support, this is critical. Please post updates with your progress and ask for help when you get stuck. Also there are some semi-private Telegram groups for untraining and wearing 24/7. Feel free to DM me for links. Cheers!

Ok, so there’s a lot to unpack here (pun intended). The issue that I see here is your mindset. You seem to be experiencing a Gravity Problem. (Reference: Designing Your Life by Burnett and Evans). The gravity problem goes like this: “I desperately want to be a professional skateboarder. However I can’t get any airtime. Every time I try to do a spin or flip or grind I fall flat in my face. If it wasn’t for gravity, I would be amazing!” Hopefully you see the problem with that way of thinking. Professional skateboarders accept that gravity exists and learn via practice and trial and error how to work within the constraints of physics. Saying that you desperately want to be incontinent, except you would regret it due to the inconvenience and social stigma is no different. You can’t escape those problems any more than I can escape gravity. If you really want to be doubly incontinent, you need to figure out how to make it work given the difficulties. Trust me being diaper dependent makes travel and relationships more difficult. But it’s still doable. Start slow. Ask for help with specific challenges. Make mistakes. The cold hard truth is that if you’re not able or willing to be patient and work with the constraints of being incontinent, then let the dream of being incontinent go. Otherwise you’re going to be frustrated and stuck for a very, very long time.

Is the shame you’re referring to because you don’t even try to make it? Or about being happy to manage with diapers? For what it’s worth, based on my experience and from what I’ve read of others who are incontinent for “medical” reasons, incontinence is very insidious. Lots of people report they feel lazy and ashamed when they use their diaper when they could’ve made it to the toilet.

@Kaliborio you rock and I’m so glad to see you posting here! I love these sorts of questions and I can go on for hours. But instead, I’m going to try to give concise answers and if you or anyone wants me to elaborate, happy to. I would almost certainly qualify for heavy/severe urinary incontinence. It’s mixed, with elements of urge incontinence, dribbling and functional incontinence. My bladder is defaulted back to relaxed mode and usually I have to check my diaper to see how wet I am. I don’t even realize I have to pee until after I start peeing and even then it’s so effortless and such a small amount it barely registers. Nights are a blur. Usually I wet several times at night with little to no memory upon waking up. Bowel control is fairly good but I’ve had a few accidents. How long? Too difficult to answer. I was basically diaper dependent after about 2-3 years of untraining but it was such an insidious and uneven process, and my control is much worse now than even a few years ago. It has been about 5 years and my memory of continence has been fuzzy for about the past year and getting fuzzier. I remember being able to go 4-6 hours without peeing but I have no idea how I managed that. Staying dry seems like a super power. How was my control before? On paper it was normal. But staying dry always felt like real work. Before I started untraining the message I got was be careful what I wish for. Real incontinence sucks because it never stops. I’m like, ya, I know, that’s why I want it! And my vanilla partner wasn’t thrilled but knew it was important to me and made me happy so she went along with it. Yes I don’t think it’s possible to fully grasp what “ Real incontinence never stops” until you’ve been in situations where you leak at highly inconvenient times. For example I’ll randomly wake up dry and I will try to save my premium diaper for the next night, but I usually pee before I can even take the diaper off and so I have to toss it. Never tried to regain control. Even now with having a useless urinary sphincter I still fantasize about surgery to ensure it stays that way. How I like it: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, being incontinent and diaper dependent would really suck if you didn’t like it. It’s an expensive, less effective, more embarrassing, highly inconvenient way of doing what your body is supposed to do for you. But I love that I deal with the same hassles as any other incontinent person and wouldn’t have it any other way.

I doubt I am the only one here who also dabbles in ageplay. And of course incontinence is going to be involved! For me personally, most of the time when I'm in littlespace I see myself as a precocious 3-4 year old boy who isn't showing any signs of being ready to potty train, and my caregivers have given up on even trying after numerous failed attempts. Though sometimes I will fast forward a few years and imagine being 10-12 years old who was never potty trained and is self-conscious and in denial about having to wear diapers and is in denial about needing diapers. What ageplay scenarios relating to incontinence do you vibe with in little space?