Enthusi

Um yes? 😂😇

Like many others here, I came out of the factory wanting to wear diapers. I don’t think there was a single time in my life that I didn’t want to wear diapers. I was in my early teens when I discovered ABDL, thanks to the Internet. While I don’t recall having any overt fantasies about incontinence prior to discovering that I wasn’t alone, I do recall being tantalized shortly thereafter. I scoured the internet for stories and accounts of people who needed to wear diapers for one reason or another. I remember being a teenager and being mesmerized by a book about incontinence at our local library, though I was too scared check it out, so I read the whole thing at the library. I didn’t start unpotty training until decades later, but the seeds were there at a young age I always assumed this is how it is for all ABDLs. Though given that the vast majority of us have no desire to be diaper dependent, I am starting to doubt that. This goes with my theory that those of us who desire incontinence are a distinct subgroup with a similar, but different profile than the larger ABDL community. So, I am curious about others, when did you first fantasize about incontinence?

Okay-ish? I don’t have a desire to be bowel incontinent and yet I’m doing nothing to prevent it either. Actually, for the last few weeks, I’ve been full 24/7, as in no toilet at all, even for BMs. This is a new development and I’m not sure where I’m going with it. I’m going to ride it out and see how long I can keep the toilet free streak going. At this point I’d say my bowel control is “good enough”. Over the past few years I will occasionally experience what I call “gray accidents.” That is to say, I planned to use the big boy potty for a BM, but it got tiring trying to hold it, so I said screw it and used my diaper instead. I probably could’ve made it, but I gave up because it was just easier that way. Once or twice a year I will have an honest to God accident where I just couldn’t hold it anymore. It’s a mind screw when this happens. On one hand, I’m no stranger to messy diapers, so it’s not a big deal. That’s why I wear diapers! On the other hand, it’s mildly disturbing how casual I am about accidentally pooping myself. Like I said, it’s okay-ish. Why do you ask? @spark

Can I quote you in my untraining guide? @FreeFlowin The whole premise of my approach is to understand how continence is maintained, and to use that info to develop and deploy a barrage of targeted psychological techniques and behavior modification to undo continence. It turns out that for much of continence is psychological. You are absolutely correct. If you’re at all afraid you’re going to have an embarrassing accident, or that you have to make your diaper last so long due to supply anxiety or whatever, you’re reinforcing the psychological barriers between you and incontinence. Obviously it’s more expensive to build a large cache of diapers, not to mention the space required. But it you can swing it, it’s money well spent. Also if anyone’s curious, my untraining guide, called “Targeted Untraining” is coming along, though I’ve moving at a snails pace because other things that are higher priority keep coming up. But I can’t wait to share the final product. It’s a fundamentally different approach to untraining, based on brain science. There’s nothing like it out there. I just need to get working on it.

I recently read a statistic online that on average babies go through 6000 diapers from newborn through potty training. Actually I found different numbers ranging from 6000 to 8000 diapers depending on the source. But let’s take 6000 for simplicity. This means if you’ve worn 6000 adult diapers, congrats! You’ve worn more diapers as a “grown up” than as a baby. Going through 6000 diapers may seem like a lot, but if you wear full time and go through 4 diapers a day, it only takes 4 years. Even if you wore casually and averaged 2 diapers a day, it would take a mere 8 years to reach that point. So my guess is that for most of us here, we hit the “6000 club” years ago or even decades ago without ever realizing it.

I suppose it depends on the severity and your desire to stay dry. For that reason I tend to say I have a mix of urge incontinence and functional incontinence. The functional part being my desire to not stay dry. 🙂

Funny you say that. All of my “testing” is during the daytime. I’ve tried testing at night but it’s a very unenjoyable experience. I too sleep like junk when I’m not diapered for the same reason. Besides, even if I did manage to wake up with a full bladder, I’m too sluggish to get out of bed before I have an accident. I guess I value a good night’s sleep more than incontinence.

Every now and then I will purposefully not diaper up just to see how bad my bladder control is. During these tests I make every effort to hold it in and stop what I’m doing to go potty if I feel any urge to pee. I originally did this out of fear that I was “faking” my incontinence. I concluded the only way to know for sure is by going without a diaper to see if I could make it. Ironically, the more I tested myself, the more uncertain and neurotic I became. I failed to make it to the toilet nearly each and every time. But because I knew I secretly wanted to fail, I determined the testing was inconclusive. On the rare occasions i was successful in making it on time, I felt dysphoric. My solution was to keep by putting myself in situations where accidents would lead to more consequences. For example wearing nice clothes, running errands, going on long drives without a diaper on. I kept failing and dealing with cleanups and narrowing escaping embarrassment, but I still couldn’t rule out the possibility I wanted to fail. Eventually I came to my senses and I said enough is enough and stopped trying to prove I’m incontinent. I still like to test my progress from time to time. Though now it’s more for the feels than to prove that I NEED to wear diapers. These days I take precautions like wearing junky clothes and sitting on a puppy pads. I fail to make it to the potty 99% of the time. I figure even if I make it every now and then, I would still need to wear diapers at all times because I’ve never gone more than a few hours without an accident. There’s just something about the idea of failing to stay dry despite your best efforts that is appealing to me. I would love to hear from others who’ve tried testing their incontinence if they’ve ever put themselves in precarious situations, or even test for the fun of it. And if you have no desire to test your progress, tell me why that is!

I have little to no bladder control at this point, day and night. I have never tried to retrain. In fact one of the reasons my untraining was so successful is because I committed to permanent incontinence! Sometimes wonder if I could retrain, and if so, how would it work? I don’t know if I could. The issue I’d run up against is I that my bladder drains on autopilot and my sphincter is stuck relaxed. I pee small amounts every 30-60 minutes or so. Usually I have little to no warning until BAM! 10/10 urgency (urge incontinence). If I pay close attention and I slam the sphincter shut, I have a 5-30 second window between when I sense I have to pee and when the muscles give out. In other words, to retrain I would have to stop working, stop driving, severely restrict my fluids, and be within 10 feet of a toilet at all times. It’s theoretically possible. But I would be miserable.

Amen. It would be very miserable being “stuck” in diapers if you didn’t have a passion for it.

I’ve never had an actual stent in but I have dabbled with catheters. And I agree there’s nothing like that feeling of the constant drip drip drip. Have you ever not worn a diaper while having a stent or catheter in? Sometimes I’ll do that while playing a video games… trying to focus on the objective all the while the nonstop drip drip drip causing my pants to get warmer and wetter. And even simple things like diaper changes and toweling off become a challenge. It makes you appreciate your diaper like nothing else. That said, I have mixed feelings about catheters and stents, and not just because of the safety risks. I am into ageplay, and babies and toddlers don’t dribble non stop. Instead, they reflexively pee when their bladders fill to a certain level… which is how my bladder works after years of untraining. But then again, even if I accidentally wet myself 99/100 times when I don’t have a stent or catheter in and I’m not diapered, it doesn’t feel as intense when you know that there is a possibility you could make it to the toilet if you try hard enough. I’d love to be able to find a way to combine the intense feeling of being a helpless liability that comes from catheters and stents with the natural and regressed feeling that comes from incontinence from untraining.

I’ve never tried a stent before. Trust me I’ve considered it many times over. I have tried catheters quite a few times. I find that reality never matches expectations. It starts off fun, but after a few hours, my urethra feels sore and I don’t like that I can’t move around as easily, and I worry non stop about UTIs. I usually end up taking it out after a few hours because I lose the desire to continue. Maybe it would be different if I wasn’t already incontinent, or if I only wanted temporary incontinence. All of this is to say I am tantalized by the idea of a stent, but your post reminds me to think carefully if I want to go down that path.

And the cherry on top is replacing your underwear drawer with a diaper drawer.

No I didn’t throw my underwear away. I burned them in a bonfire. True story.

After so many years of keeping the muscles relaxed and not making any effort to intentionally hold my bladder, the sphincter muscle stays open and relaxed. I can still clench down but the muscle fatigues easily and goes back to relax mode when I get distracted. Not that I’m complaining. Quite the opposite. One surprising benefit is how much more relaxed I feel emotionally. It’s not just that I feel better being unburdened with continence. But everything down there feels more relaxed which has me feeling relaxed. Sometimes I wonder what it’s like for vanilla people? Do they feel body tension? Or maybe I didn’t learn bladder control correctly? Either way I’m not complaining. Though has anyone else experienced similar results as their muscles weakened?

This is the way. I think about this a lot, actually. In a way, coming from the casual ABDL world makes it harder to untrain because you have to essentially relearn how to wear diapers. When you wear diapers recreationally, the the primary objective is to maximize the fun you get out of wearing a diaper. You wear thick diapers because they feel good and you want to get your diaper as saturated as possible because it feels good and it saves money. When you are incontinent, your primary objective is to keep your clothes, furniture and floor clean and dry. Thicker diapers are beneficial insofar as they keep you drier and you can go longer between changes. And, while you want to fully use your diaper to cut down at costs, that may run into conflict with your primary objective to stay dry, especially if your bladder has a mind of its own and you’re not good at telling how wet you are. So to your point, it’s good that you are seeing your diaper as practical solution to the problem of how to stay dry. ❤️

Let’s imagine that you made the commitment to never consciously control your bladder again the rest of your life, and you made good on it. It doesn’t matter if your bladder control is impeccable and you have the ability to hold it for hours without losing a single drop. You still won’t make any effort to stop yourself from peeing. Even if for some reason you weren’t diapered, and your bladder was bursting and you’re in public, and mere steps away from a restroom, you still wont try to hold it in. At that point, with such an intense refusal to consciously control your pee (even if you could), would you consider yourself functionally incontinent? Diaper dependent?

I ritualistically burned all of my underwear in a quite dramatic way a few years ago. Though since then I purchased some underwear because on rare occasions I like to pretend I’m am a middle and rebelling against having to wear diapers. I usually create an elaborate back story about how I got picked on for wearing diapers and I decided I need to just wear underwear and my body will figure it out. It invariably ends up with me in soaked pants, not that I expected a different outcome. Don’t be like me kids. 😂😂😂

I am not an outdoorsy person, but I have to wonder how things would change for you if you made the commitment to being 24/7 without sacrificing your quality of life. That will free you up to come up with creative solutions to meet your needs.

This reminded me of the first time I wore a diaper thick enough that I couldn’t properly close my legs all the way. It felt so weird. Nowadays I feel weird when I’m not thickly diapered!

This was inspired by another topic I recently started, in which I posited that part of the reason it’s hard to know how long it takes to become diaper dependent is because incontinence is a nebulous construct. Though it had me thinking, for those who have achieved some degree of success, what was it like for you when it first clicked that you need to wear a diaper to stay dry? Were you ever in denial about it, or skeptical that you were “faking it?” Was there an index event such as an accident that drove it home? Or was it more of a feeling of vulnerability when not diapered? How do you personally define diaper dependence?

I promise, this isn't a rant, even if it sounds like the start of one... When it comes to untraining, the question of how long it took me to become diaper dependent is one of the most common questions I get, and yet it's the one I struggle the most to answer. I'd also argue that it's irrelevant. Why it's difficult to answer: Untraining is a very slow, uneven process. You may go months, or even years with no progress only to quickly progress (regress?) in a span of days or weeks. Even though I usually wet multiple times at night, occasionally I will wake up dry with a full bladder. Sometimes I will even go up to a week straight waking up dry. It used to bug me a lot, but nowadays I realize it's normal and temporary so I don't care. But even more than that, there's no finish line. Trust me, if there was a trophy or even a certificate of completion at the end, I'd be all over that. There's not even a benchmark for when you're officially considered diaper dependent. Is it when you are no longer sure you can stay dry without a diaper on? Is it after you try to leave the house without a diaper on and you accidentally pee yourself? Is it when you have to wear a diaper to doctor's appointments because you're afraid of having an accident? The first time you wake up wet? The first time you have an accident between changes? The first time you checked your diaper and discovered it was wetter (or drier) than you predicted? Why it's irrelevant: Untraining is not a competition. Everyone is starting from different levels of baseline control, and progresses differently. Some people untrain freakishly quick and can regain control quickly. Others take forever but enjoy more permanent results. It also depends on if you're going for full 24/7 including loss of bowel control, which may exacerbate loss of bladder control. That's not to mention bedwetting which it seems is not always correlated with loss of daytime control. It seems that some people are destined to be dry at night, despite their best efforts. I worry that if I tell someone who has been untraing for years but still dry at night that it took me about 6-12 months before I reverted to sleep wetting, they're going to feel like a screw up, despite not doing anything wrong. I totally get why someone who desires incontinence wants to know how long it took others to achieve their results. They want to know what to expect. But underlying that question is an assumption that there are certain benchmarks, which may not be the case. Not only are the benchmarks ambiguous but they're unique for each person. When faced with the question of how long it took to untrain, it would be better to use that as a conversation starter about the importance of not having a set timetable.

This paragraph made my day. ❤️ I think it’s inspiring how you managed to turn someone potentially humiliating like severe incontinence into something that gives you relief and supports your mental wellness.

I’m genuinely curious to see everybody’s opinions on this… When it comes to untraining, do you get excited or worried about the possibility of being permanently and irreversibly incontinent? Daytime, nighttime, or both? I wrote this question with urinary incontinence in mind, but I suppose it’d also apply to bowel incontinence. Personally, speaking, anything less than total permanent bladder incontinence (day and night) is not good enough for me. As far as I’m concerned, simply having the ability to control whether or not I can retrain is a form of bladder control, which is undesirable. I want to stress that this is my personal opinion, and you can make a strong argument that I’m batsh*t crazy, but it’s not going to change my opinion. On the other hand I’m actually kind of iffy on permanent bowel incontinence. Depends on how bad we are talking about. I plan to be “stuck” in diapers for the rest of my life due to urinary incontinence, so it’s not the end of the world if my bowel control irreversibly plummets. Though it would be nice to retain some rudimentary control. All in all, I’d say the relief of knowing that I’m never ever again going to have to deal with the burdens that come with continence, makes all the scary stuff that comes with being permanently diaper dependent worth it.

Very true. That’s not to mention drug interactions, and pill burden.