ozziebee

Oh yes, I definitely get those tummy flip-flops. A few seconds later, the push is inevitable. Trying to hold/delay the urges until nappy change time was causing pain itself back then during COVID lockdown, which contributed to my decision to use knickers again. But this led to wet knickers and skid marks and increasing accidents. Thus now, I wholly trust my nappies for everything. No pain, but lots of resulting mess.

I had a love/hate relationship with going to a specialist chemist to get a bag or two of disposable nappies. Embarassed, but excited at the same time. The first few times I ordered cases of nappies from a specialist supply company, I was quite embarrassed at the attention, but their staff were really good, suggesting other products to help. So when I said my continence nurse was suggesting self-cathing, they gave me some brochures to think about what to get and how to self-cath. But it didn’t eventuate. I haven’t ordered from them in a long time as my goto’s at the time (Abena and Molicare) both updated their products which destroyed them (even smaller narrower weaker tabs and thinner nappies overall). Now I just dont care what people think Today I went into a baby store and bought cloth nappies (being used as inserts/boosters), a diaper pail and bin, and some other stuff. You do get over the shame and embarrassment.

As a girl, I feel that a #2 that makes it way up and over my pubic mound is an extremely juvenile thing to do, and I get very little when it happens. Messy cleanup, though when it gets into the front of my nappy.

Are you wishing to go 24/7? At the start, it may sound quite easy to do, and it is. But then there's everything else to consider - friends and family reactions, disclosing nappy use to doctors and hospitals, employment implications, financial cost of nappies and associated products, the need to change at inconvenient moments, the resulting rubbish and smells, and finally the changes your body will go through as you advance down the road to true 24/7. The road is very long (many many years). You may be able to train your body to go wet and/or mess in your nappies, but it's a slippery slope from there to 24/7 with a difficult potty-training to get back control. Think about what you want. There's lots of support on here for if you start down the path to 24/7.

Just woke up to a wet night nappy. I've found that using a baby 60cm x 60cm terry cloth nappy as an insert to either a BetterDry or Tykables Camelot or Rearz InControl elite Hybrid is a luxurious combination, which assists to evenly distribute the wetness all around the combo nappy. And it's thick as, so can last well in excess of 12 hours. Combined with a stretch pant to keep the nappy in position, with a plastic pant outer, and finally a onesie, and it aint going anywhere, is tight against the body, moulds to the body over time, and feels utterly fantastic, and I'm in heaven. No leaks, no smell... all good

I think mine is quite relaxed. This last week or so, my bladder feels like its quivering, and every 10 to 20 mins is slowly dribbles small amounts of urine. It’s rarely flooding, maybe a bit each morning (but then its been dribbling all night too). I try to close my muscle, but this action is slow, and when I realise its slow and end the effort, its back to relaxed again. Very weird sensations down there at present - not unpleasant but also sometimes not pleasant. Ive noticed that when my bowels are moving matter past my bladder, I’ll get a release of pee. So my bladder is being quite sensitive foe the moment. I can’t stop a bowel push either. Remember that sine wave thing I’ve been talking about all thia time? My trajectory is on the steep slope downwards…

It was suggested to me by someone ex-Mil that I should learn how to cope with heat by layering-up, and slowly de-layer as the day progressed. This was in response to a meltdown due to heat when I was up your way competing in a national championships (I think I told you where I was a few years back?). The theory is that your body gets used to the heat after a while, and as you de-layer, your body cools down. Also drink lots of water. So, at first a onesie may be quite hot, you will adjust to it over time. Something to consider.

As some of you know, I've been having fecal accident issues all my life. When I was young, my mum thought it was laziness, I went to doctors and psychologists, was threatened with being admitted to a special ward at a hospital for observation/tests/etc (not a psych ward), threatened with being put back into nappies (a dr actually suggested this to mum) and going to school in nappies (a big deal back then as these nappies were cloth pinned ones just pre-disposable era). Eventually my parents sorta gave up, as I went through high school and quietly dealt with the issue, and repercussions of really bad #2 accidents at school. My FI issues continued into Uni, but had mostly petered out by then, though I was still getting skid marks and the occasional minor accident. Thinking back to those days, I often had no warning at all - I'd be going about my day (or asleep), and an urge would suddenly hit, that's so powerful it'd pin me to the spot with pain and urge pushes, and out it all came. As I grew up, I'd learnt to hold on for long enough that the pain and urges would eventually subside, and I could move. By late high school and uni, I had time to go to the toilet, or ignore the event, and hope that the next bout of urges and pain and being unable to move would come later. Yes, I think that I have undiagnosed ASD. Fast forward, and in recent years I've been having bladder IC issues (stress and urge IC), have been to urologists and had tests et al, and elected to go back into nappies. As COVID hit, I'd passed 3 years 24x7. Destructive thoughts, moods, and general depression had me reverting to a 1-change per day habit, which was largely managable through using BetterDry and Rearz InControl Elite nappies with boosters, but I was noticing that my thighs were being absolutely wrecked by being in a nappy constantly, and all it took was a "it'd be better if I just wore knickers", and I stopped wearing. One contributing factor was the painful bowel urges I'd get, and I'd inevitably attempt to delay the inevitable until just before or just on my daily change. This only led to more pain, and periods of quite bad constipation, with very hard stools. At the start of our COVID lockdown, we cleaned the garage, and I found the knickers I'd stashed in a bag, which managed to get moved with everything else when I relocated. So for the period of COVID lockdowns I'd oscillate between knickers and nappies. In the last 6 months or so though, I have clearly noticed that my knickers were constantly wet and smelly, and they had skid marks and evidence of accidents. Whenever I wiped my bottom, it'd come away with a bit of #2, every time. Over Christmas, I went on a road trip holiday, and had one major #2 blowout with diarrhoea, and a number of other very bad urges where I just knew that if I'd stop and get out of the truck, I'd fill my pants. On my return home, with the evidence clear that I really do need to be back in nappies, that's what I did, so I'm back in nappies once more, and with a different mindset to that during COVID. I vowed that I would not hold back my #2's but let it happen. Over the past week, I've noticed a bit of a change. I'm not getting any warnings again, but get an uncomfortable but insistent push. If I'm sitting down, that push would stop, but as soon as I stand up, out it all comes. If I'm standing, it just happens. I have to stop and let it go - there's no way to stop it. My mind is like "wow, that happened", and I'd doubt I'd have controlled the urge if I had been wearing knickers. Alarming, but this change reminds me of when I was little. Am I worried? No, strangely. Is this what it's like when one is FI?

Good questions. What caused me to stop wearing was a destructive habit I'd gotten into when we were all locked down during initial COVID infections. I went from a sensible twice-a-day change schedule, to once a day, which got harder and harder to do, as I started to get really bad skin irritations/rashes, really lazy with my health, and quite despondent to the world. Along popped a thought that maybe underpants were easier, and I jumped at it. It didn't help that I'd discovered where I'd stashed my undies in a bag when I moved house, as we cleaned the garage whilst in lockdown. Thus began a period of time where I went cold turkey, only to discover that I couldn't keep my undies dry, and I had increasing frequency of bowel accidents. I'd swear that I'd cleaned up properly after a toilet, but the evidence was right there in my pants each time. So I'd go back to wearing 24/7 for a bit, get back into that destructive mindset, and try once more to use undies. Have been doing that for a year or so now. But, this past Christmas, I did a rather long road trip, which brought a few things to the fore for me. I just cannot keep my pants dry, no matter how many times I went to the toilet, or how fastidious I'd clean, and I am very much losing control of #2 (I've been predicting this for a long time, as I've had #2 leakage/accident issues all my life). Heck, I'd get a shower, be nice and clean and dry, go to the toilet a few hours later, and I'd be both wet and have skiddies... So, once again, I'm back in nappies 24/7. What I feel is different this time around is that I'm more reconciled to the fact I need to be in nappies, because of the above. My work commitment is changing to _almost_ full-time working from home, so I have the opportunity to just get on with it. I feel much better in my mind this time.

Stay in a nappy long enough, and #2 often enough in nappies, and one will find their control over #2 waning to the point where they will forever have skid marks and/or fecal accidents if they ever tried to spend a day in undies.

What I was getting at with my theory is that one needs lots of patience, and lots of time. Unpotty training does not happen overnight, but may take multiple years. Things will seem to move quickly at first, as you're super-sensitive to _any_ change. Later, things seem to stall, and progress seems to just stop. But remember the sine wave? You may be at the "peak" of the wave. Keep going.

My theory regarding this topic is that the loss of continence can be described by a sine wave, where the main curvature signals increasing or decreasing continence, but the mean picture shows a slowly decreasing pattern over time. Thus, you find things “progressing nicely” only to find things go back towards total control, then back towards a progress towards incontinence. Sometimes the curve goes back completely to the “where I started from” baseline. The sine wave will sometimes dip below where it had previously been, which may be you’ve progressed a bit further along. But alas, the curve heads back north, and you seem to get control back. But over time, you'll find the peaks to be leas than your baseline, and you will find it difficult to get that control back. My experience has been the above. After about 3 years, I stopped wearing nappies, and tried to get some control back. It was “largely” successful, but I had wet undies all the time, and increasingly skid marks too. My mental happiness was through the floor. So I’m back in nappies 24/7, and I find it increasingly harder to control #2.

This is what I like about your updates. In one paragraph you have me convinced that your Betterdry is, well, dry. A total waste of a perfectly good nappy. The next paragraph, the reality of the situation is laid bare - a wrecked nappy, beyond its service life. Excellent updates!

I have a lot of ODU onesies, and love them. My one issue with them is the placement of the snaps right down there in the crotch right between my legs. After a day’s work Ive got sores and irritation from those snaps rubbing away on my inner thighs. Not nice. I think the best placement (like others have suggested is more towards the front. If we have a front flap, and a rear flap, my thinking is the front flap is about one or two inches long, and the rear flap goes all the way around under the crotch and snaps to the front flap. That would be my ideal position.

Id think, Ferix, that the 12 month thing is standard. To be able to get gender reassignment surgery, one must live a minimum 12 months in the target gender. At the end if that, a second paych confirming the initial diagnosis, and a trip to the surgeon. Good luck. Keep at it. Don’t be discouraged by seeing a therapist. They may be your best ally and confidant in all this.

So many triggers - in the shower, getting a drink of water, standing at the petrol bowser, on the train, in an elevator, driving the car and getting pee urges, doing the dishes, getting a cup of coffee.

It's been a very hot minute (or maybe a hot year or so) since I last posted or commented on here. I've been fulltime in nappies about 3 years or so now, but I sadly have to qualify this with an asterisk. You see, I stopped wearing my nappies, as I thought that after a period of a few months of being largely dry at night that I'd beaten my IC, managing to get some control. Why did I want to get control, when I am ABDL and all that? You see, during COVID, we had to work from home, and I'm largely still am WFHing. As the weeks wore on, I got a bit depressed about the whole thing, and being inside all the time, and having activities cancelled, thus ending up with depression and a very bad habit of wearing a nappy for 24 hours straight. The end result of each nappy was very stinky pee, but largely clear of poop. I had problems as a result, with UTI's, and terrible constipation (I'd hold and hold and hold a poop until next change, whcih could be +12 hours later...). I got so depressed about the world, and so fed up about the stink of my nappies, that I started giving a shit about having to change. It was not fun, so I started to try to hold it, and try to get some control. After a few months, I found I was dry at night at times - I'd change before going to bed, and in the morning, it'd be dry, and I'd be bursting for a pee. One day, I found my knickers I'd stashed in a backpack in the garage, pulled them out, put one on, and wondered if I could stay dry. I had numerous close calls - urges that would send me to the toilet, big urges that would amount to very little output, or a tiny urge that'd turn into a torrent. I even had a few dreams at night of peeing - and waking up 100% sure I'd wet, but nothing - bone dry. I had numerous nappy dreams too. That nappy fetish was never going away it seemed. But all was not as it seemed. At first, I think I was largely successful at staying dry. My trips to the toilet were frequent, and often lacking in output. But dry was a relative term. No, I had not had outright accidents with pee running down my leg, but at the end of the day, my knickers would be wet. I'd often be sitting, and feel a drop or two touch skin. I'd get home from work, and have to change knickers due to that wetness and smell. A few days ago, I changed into a nappy. Oh heavenly bliss. If I was going to wet my knickers, I may as well wet my nappy. I very quickly noticed the urges disappear, and urination far more frequent with little volume. It has also not escaped my attention that every nappy has had some sort of poop episode. The end result is that I'm back in nappies 24x7, and I give up the idea of trying to get dry, and I also accept that whatever happens happens regarding #2 (I've had issues with that all my life). I'm ok with this, really. I don't think I was ever truly "dry" anyway, and I know I've not been at ease with myself as a result - I felt guilty about wearing knickers and self-conscious. As we come out the other end of COVID here in Australia, and life returns to normal (well, as normal as life will get here as the world rages on with it), that depression is largely behind me. I know that there are some of us here (I'm looking at you @oznl ) who wonder whether they could still be dry if the decision was made to stop after 2+ years of nappy wearing and use. Here is my thought - you will find you would be largely "dry", but this is relative to how long you've been in nappies. You could quite easily hold it, but find you'll be hypersensitive to such things that would normally set you off into a leak in nappies, such as running water, laughter (I leaked really easily when laughing), exercise, etc. Nappy training is a thing too. As soon as I got changed into a nappy, the flood gates opened, and hasn't stopped since. It'd be interesting to attempt another stop in a year or two's time, and see if I can get any sort of control. Will I go to the doc and start that whole process again I went through three years prior? No. The end result last time was no conclusion. So screw that.

It gets worse though, @oznl. The Qld Govt announced the other day that all shops who had firearms dealers/armourers licences had to close immediately for "public safety". One minister announced this was because they were worried incidences of domestic violence would increase as a result. So now they've linked the most heavily vetted people in Australia with domestic violence. Yet they continue to allow bottle shops to remain open - the one thing that directly contributes to such violence...

For me, this was often, through public school, and high school, and into University. It did gradually disappear over time whilst in Uni and later, but I've never had great bowel control. I think the problem for me was I never had any awareness of needing to go, until I got intense urges. Then it was either cross legs and bear the pain, or not. I was looked at by doctors (who did nothing more than stick a finger up my butt) and even a psychiatrist, who thought it was other issues - like laziness. My mum was told by one doctor to put me back in nappies. Mum did that a few times as punishment. I was sent to the neighbours to have mustard showed in my mouth as punishment when Mum had had enough, made to sit on toilets for an hour, put into a nappy in front of my cousins, grounded, spanked, given prunes, all the usual stuff one gets as a kid. I was teased mercilessly whilst in high school. The "stepped in doggie doo" excuse only lasted a few times. Nowadays, I'm often constipated, or have the runs, and often doubled over in pain during urges when I want to attempt delaying the inevitable until my nappy change. Problem is, that weakness is getting weaker with continued 24/7 nappy use for urinary incontinence. I've found that I get on occasion a full body-like cramp at times when an urge hits that I am powerless to stop a BM into my nappy. I do see bowel IC in my future, prolly sooner rather than later with the way my control has been more difficult.

I'd advise against that. You will be breaking the lease at your current place if you did that. The landlord would be well within his rights to claim lease payments up to the end of the lease agreement.

If you are still within your lease period, then that landlord must uphold the lease. The Tribunal would make a ruling against him, especially if you are up-to-date on rent payments. Tell him to sod off, as he cannot break it. The real estate agent should also know better.

Are you at end of lease? If not, then it will be _very_ hard and a _very_ long time before you are actually given the order to vacate. If it is end-of-lease, you may have no option, as there is usually only two to 4 weeks notice required.

I don't have his contact details. Can you send em to me please? I'd also like to have a chat about the supply lines too at the moment, as I'm wondering whether I should buy some more cases and store them.

I too am stuck at home. The commute is crazy, and I miss my 2 hours of train sleep. The client I'm at has been amazing prepared for this. As soon as they completed BCP testing, they ordered everyone home - thats well north of 10k people all working from home. Their remote access capabilities are amazing. Some of the team I work with have been explaining over online video standups that their partners are sometimes having far more difficulty in WFHing tech-wise. My biggest pain is the loss of recreational activities. I joined up with a volunteer org recently, and was so excited to start, but now all of that's on hold. But, we may be able to do training online sooner as a result of the stand-down. As for my IC situation, I see these next few weeks home could be interesting. I decided to suck up the $$ pain and buy some boxes of the BetterDry XL. Amazing, is all I can say. They fit better on me than the L's do. So go for it. Am still waiting on word re the CRinklz XL from you @oznl.

Gee, a case is quite exxy now! So I ordered two of them! I was getting quite worried that he wouldn't get stock in before I needed a refill (which would have been in about a month's time). Am a happy little camper now... Do you know what Crinklz XL he has? I couldn't see them on the LDU Website.