[Getting a script for diapers over the phone - what to say?]

I think the other thing that OP is forgetting is that doctors these days are very much aware of the ABDL fetish. Indeed it’s probably the first thing that will pop into their head when a healthy 19 year old says they need diapers.

[Honey, when was the last time you...]

I have had remarks like “well you don’t have to stop for the bathroom” in reference to how long a car journey takes. Recently my wife was at a concert with her mother and sister. Both of whom know that she wears diapers to bed. They kept going on about how long they had to wait to go to the bathroom that eventually she just said I always have diapers at home so it seemed like a smart idea to wear one!

[Faking incontinence to wife]

6 hours ago, deewet said:

Sounds like my last 10 years, but it wasn't a lie in most cases. Just a case of several medical conditions coming together and causing these problems.  A wet pants on an airplane and again in a terminal line brought on pullups for days not close to toilets, a heavy drinking evening and a wet bed brought on diapers for bed, the rest is history!

For me things changed so gradually that I didn’t realise just how regularly I needed a diaper. Then it was the times when I didn’t have a diaper that showed me I was diaper dependent. If you’re open to it, it creeps up on you. I’m lucky, as a lifelong bedwetter, my family and many of my friends were already aware that I wear diapers at night, so it wasn’t too big a deal when it came up in conversation, to explain that I now wear diapers during the day too. 

[Faking incontinence to wife]

People will advise you that it’s best to be honest in a relationship, and they’d be right. But if that’s just not going to work for you, then here is what I advised a friend to do a few years ago. They are still happily married and he is happily diapered. I suspect his wife knows that it wasn’t all an accident, but it avoided having to discuss it. 

 

Step 1: Gradually establish that your bladder is unreliable. Always be rushing to the toilet, make comments like phew I thought I wasn’t going to make it. Make a point of not drinking fluids too close to bedtime. On a longer journey, make a comfort break you wouldn’t normally make. It should become obvious to anyone around you that you’re always needing to go to the toilet.

Step 2. Small accidents, not quite making it and light protection. Continue everything from step 1, but a couple of times a week, have a small accident. Changing the sheet because you must have dribbled during the night, asking them if they mind carrying a change of underwear when you go out. Buy some guards when shopping together. 

Step 3. Just in case pull ups. Or rather, call them disposable briefs. For emergencies. Going to see a movie. Just in case. Long journey. Just in case. Drank too much alcohol. Just in case. If you haven’t already, you’re going to need to mention that you’ll mention it to the doctor next time you’re there.

Step 4. First proper accident. Feeling stressed or unwell is a good excuse for an unexplained bed wetting. The next night, wear a pull up. Suggest buying a waterproof pad for your side of the bed. You’re now in pull ups most nights.waa

Step 5. Something more permanent. Mention that you don’t want to leak and damage the bed and you want to buy something more absorbent. Show her a few diaper options, that you hope it will only be temporary. Reassure that it’s probably just down to age and stress. But it’s your new normal 

 

be patient and progress gradually 

[Incontinence while having the flu]

It’s definitely a thing. My usual supplier is always low on stock during flu season particularly on pull ups, which are much more acceptable to the average person than adult diapers are.

ive been saying for years that we underestimate just how much incontinence issues there are out there. You just need to look at the huge range of products there are now. Someone is buying them.

i think stress wetters are very common. People who bed wet when their body is under physical or emotional stress. I know of 2 guys, both mid 30s who fall into that category 

[People who have lost continence due to diapers, do you think you could get it back?]

On 12/16/2024 at 8:18 PM, Kaliborio said:

I am back on my usual shit.

Obviously, some people lose continence in ways that are related to their diapers. Either they lose it intentionally, through untraining (see, e.g., The twelve month diaper-training program), or they lose it incidentally — and generally to a lesser extent — through the incentive pressures of 24/7 (see, e.g., Practical 24/7: A guidebook, or Understanding Infantilism's qualitative survey on the topic).

I've noticed that a lot of people feel they can't get their continence back. The likelihood of a given person with diaper-related continence issues having this view seems to be directly linked to the amount of time those continence issues have been present. It doesn't seem to be an attitude thing; some like it, some hate it, but they agree on the conclusion. My own experience with diapers and my (ultimately transient) attempts to recover my continence seem to bear it out, too.

So, I'm interested to hear from people with diaper-related continence issues (untraining or incidental):

1. What are your diaper-related continence issues? How did they come about? How long have they been present?
2. Do you think you could regain your continence? If so, do you think it would be easy or difficult from where you are now? What factors are informing your view?

Interesting questions

 

1. My incontinence is split into 2. I’m a lifelong bedwetter, but my day time continence I lost gradually through a mixture of laziness and subconscious psychological need. It began when I started getting changed into a diaper much earlier in the evening as it was enjoyable to relax, have a beer and watch tv without worrying about going to the bathroom. I was also for the first time, in a relationship with a girl who was completely comfortable with diapers so the whole thing felt very normal. However over time it did lead to accidents and near accidents when I was relaxed but not diapered and things like going to a movie or a longer journey were impossible without a diaper. Eventually going anywhere without protection became stressful for me. And so began my denial stage of just in case pull ups. Except they weren’t just in case. I needed them physically and mentally. I could make it to the bathroom, but I’d be dribbling into my pull up before and after. Despite this, I never considered myself incontinent. I was a bedwetter who just needed a just in case pull up during the day. Then one day (fortunately outside my home) I got out of the car and uncontrollably peed through my pull up. I couldn’t stop the flow. When I sat down and discussed it with my girlfriend (now wife) I realised that I was getting through 4 pull ups a day and likely having small accidents that I wasn’t aware of. Incontinent. 
 

2. Funnily enough, I remember her asking me back then if I could stay dry if I really needed to. And I admitted that no, I couldn’t and that the stress involved would have a huge impact on me. It’s the same today. I don’t know for sure that I’m physically incapable of retraining, although I know from the time I spend each week “airing out” onto a bed pad that I mostly urinate in a very frequent and very weak stream. What I do know is that emotionally I don’t just need diapers, but that I need the peace of mind and relaxation that comes with being incontinent. 

[The frequency of incontinent desires in the ABDL community]

Lifelong bed wetter, now daytime incontinent too due to a combination of emotional need and laziness

['Incontin-ish']

I was in exactly the same situation a few years ago. I could stay dry during the day if I really, really had to but it was so stressful and required so much organisation. I’d always needed a diaper at night and when I started using them during the day for times when staying dry was going to be tough, I realised how much happier and relaxed I was. Of course, over time I’ve become diaper dependent and have no control now but I’m much happier and relaxed. 
 

my advice would be to take a practical approach, but don’t underestimate the importance of having the peace of mind of “just in case” protection

[Having your partner use your diaper too]

Nope, not for me. 
 

My gf wears diapers too and it even annoys me when she takes one of mine!

[Is nobody dry anymore?!]

11 hours ago, babykeiff said:

You are correct, middle aged adults don't just 'start' wearing protection just because of advertising campaigns, but the advertising campaigns do give answers. They are designed that way.

An average middle aged working adult is being trained by advertisements

• to loose weight by joining a gym
• to eat this new and more healthy snack food (Avacados / 7 fruits etc)
• to drink at least 1 pint / gallon / litre etc of 'pure' water that has been in the earth longer that the earth exists
• to stay young looking (Oil of Olay etc...)
• to use this/that bank
• to use this/that life insurance
• to use this/that funeral arangements
• to release x equity from one's house
• ...

and the list goes on and on. What is also added to this is the constant need to improve in ones job; to brag/oversell oneself when with friends; and much more.

All the above creates a very stressful life where most people don't take time for themselves. They are up roughly 30-45 minutes before they need to leave the house in the morning, guzzle a coffee and a snack bar, in the commute to a thankless job where their boss /supervisor wants x documents etc. yesterday, but might only growl if you give it to him/her before lunch - a document that takes 6 hours to prepare. As a result, lunch, if it exists, is a quick snack. You are drinking the pure water to stay hydrated sand have little time to visit a bathroom. As a result, when you rush to deliver the document, you need to go to the bathroom before and after that meeting - and due to the stress and presure of the job, you might make your pants a little wet.

Now, after all that, when you see an advertisement of how 'easy' the person's life is by wearing a diaper / disposable underwear, the next time you are in a supermarket etc., you get a pack - just in case. After all, according to the advertisement, nobody knows. Even you can't see the lines of the disposable garment on the actor - and it holds so much!

@Goerge, if we rush in life, we do not have the time to evaluate all the information comming at us. This is the 'game' that advertisers use to sucker us into buying products that we, in reality, never needed. So, in a way, you are both correct and wrong. Protection advertising campaigns on their own do not convince middle aged to wear diapers... it is the rest of the advertisements combined with the livestyle that is being sold that convinces middle aged.

A worldwide pandemic that occured in the past number of years ( I can't name it according to the rules here) has, due to the concept of working from home, has allowed a lot of people to 'step back' and re-evaluate their life choices. The reason that most companies worldwide was rushing to get people back to work was not about money and lost profits, it was to prevent their staff realising how much they were being used and abused by said companies.  

Sorry, but “normal” people do not buy a packet of pull ups because it might make their lives easier. 

[Is nobody dry anymore?!]

This was really not the discussion I was hoping to have here. The age and trends of the potty training of infants are totally irrelevant here.

 

My point is that it seems that far more people now have some form of incontinence. By people I mean adults who are younger than the typical age for these issues to develop. No, they are not full time diaper wearers but do wear protection regularly.

the huge increase in products available for this would suggests there’s an increased demand. Sorry, but middle aged adults don’t just start wearing incontinence products because of marketing campaigns.

[Going 24/7 around my parents]

If you’re looking to go 24/7, you are going to struggle to keep it from family. Rather than them finding out, it can be a good idea to plan it a bit more long term. Plant the seed

 

- start going to the bathroom more often, comment on how you keep needing the bathroom. 
- make a point of going to the bathroom before doing certain things “I’ll never make it through the movie if I don’t go now”

- had to wait in line? Comment that you didn’t think you’d make it

- long journey? Ask for plenty of restroom stops and apologise for needing so many

- refuse drinks later in the evening, saying that you’ll be up all night

- heard a hilarious joke? Say you laughed so much you were about to wet yourself

 

This will establish you as someone with bladder issues and will make it much less of a shock to family when you tell them you’ve started wearing protection for your bladder problems 

 

[Is nobody dry anymore?!]

1 hour ago, 2sail2 said:

With both parents working, it's hard for them to take care of kids.  They look for a quick and easy solution.  They say gaming has caused a lot of the issues in schools (adhd). 

I look at my wife and I and glad in a way we don't have kids.  We both work.  Can't keep up with house work, she loves to sleep in (each weekend day is half ruined) and shop for makeup / clothing. 

I don’t mean kids being late to toilet train. I mean adults starting to have issues well before the age you might expect

[Is nobody dry anymore?!]

Hey

i don’t post that often but I really wanted to get everyone’s opinion on something.

 

is it just me, or has there been a big increase in incontinence issues in the last few years? Especially amongst men who are much younger than the age you’d expect continence issues to creep in.

I’m early 30s, lifelong bedwetter, daytime control went about 5 years ago. Most of my friends growing up knew I wore diapers at night plus I come from a family with a history of bedwetting. Until a few years ago, I knew of no one outside of my family who had problems staying dry, now I know about 5 and these are people I’ve always known. I guess because of my own situation, people are more inclined to talk to me about it. No, of course not everyone is now in diapers full time, but they are using some form of incontinence product on a regular basis.

Mentioned this to my sister and she said exactly the same. That because her close friends are aware that her sons are bedwetters, she is often the one people talk to about similar issues.

I guess it kind of makes sense when you think about how the incontinence product market has grown. There must be demand and I know that it’s always been more common than people think. But I’m amazed at how common it’s become and wondered if anyone else has noticed similar or any ideas why.

[Pull ups for adults]

It’s simple volumes. Pull ups work for the typical urine output of a child bedwetter. They don’t for an adult 

[Change on a schedule or when needed?]

When you are incontinent you tend you wet heavier during different times of day. My morning diaper only lasts a couple of hours. But the next one will last about 4, then around 6 hours per diaper until bedtime. I usually change at roughly 8am, 10am, 12.30pm, 7pm and 11pm

[Wetting without realizing: What’s it like, how long did it take you to get there?]

I think for many of us who are incontinent, we leak small amounts so don’t often have the feeling of urination, simply because there isn’t enough in there. For me usually the only time I feel myself urinating is if I’ve been sitting forward for an extended period of time ie driving or working at a desk. It seems like I don’t leak in that position so when I stand up, I have a heavier wetting. I really only pay attention to how my diaper feels, once it starts to sag, I change. The time between changes is different depending on the time of day. I usually wear betterdry or similar, which is pretty high capacity but the one I change into in the morning is usually full in around 4 hours, but the next one will last double that

[Seeing yourself as incontinent]

I’m someone who took a LONG time to come to terms with my incontinence which is pretty surprising since I’m a lifelong bedwetters who has always worn diapers at night. However, day time incontinence wasn’t something I was aiming for.

For a long time I told myself that this was totally normal and everybody does it

Taking changes of underwear to work. Totally normal

Starting off every pee into my underwear. Totally normal

Standing over the toilet for 10 minutes until I stopped dribbling. Totally normal

Eventually I did admit to myself that I needed some “just in case” protection and I started to wear pull ups but the denial continued with regards to how often I was needing to use my pull up and I told myself I was doing it for the convenience. It took a couple of years and a few accidents before I finally admitted I needed to be in diapers full time. 

[At what point does giving up holding it in and choosing to use your diaper cross over into accident territory?]

I’ve definitely experienced this. For a long time I was in denial about my daytime continence issues (I’ve always been a bed wetter). It was totally normal for me to change my underwear a couple of times per day because I wasn’t making it to the bathroom in time- by the time I got there I had already started to go. A visible accident encouraged me to admit I needed some protection and I started wearing pull ups during the day although psychological it was very much a “just in case” for me. In reality my just in cases were almost daily, and knowing I was protected, I often told myself I was choosing to use my pull up for comfort or convenience. For me the realization that I couldn’t make the bathroom was when I was getting to the bathroom with an empty bladder and a full up, even at home when close to the bathroom. Nowadays I’m in full diapers and not always aware when I’m urinating, but when I do feel the urge to go, I still like to tell myself that my diaper is just for convenience!

[If you wear all the time, what is your daily diaper]

Betterdry or crinklz. I’m not bothered about the pattern, the diapers are the same. Day and night

[What happens when post-micturition dribble progresses?]

On 9/27/2020 at 8:52 PM, username said:

I believe my sphincter muscle is becoming weaker from my prolong 24/7 wearing and wetting at the slightest urge and not excising my sphincter by clenching. I'm very good at renaming relaxed. I'm been doing this for a few years in binges but when I hit a purge I start using the toilet again. I have noticed I am getting post-micturition dribble after using the toilet. I have wet drops in my pants. As well as it's taking me longer to get rid of the constant urge to pee, constant feeling I have pee in my bladder and when I use the toilet its a little dribble/stream which resembles when I'm wetting in my nappy as its always a little dribble or gush.

What would happen to my continence if I finally carried on with the binge for months and continue wearing nappies wetting at the slights urge. What would the progression be?

In my experience, this is the beginning of incontinence but unless you do something to speed up the progress, you’re probably a few years away from needing more than very light protection. For years I had dribbles every time I urinated, to the point where I thought it was totally normal to have damp underwear. I’m a lifelong bedwetter, so my sphincter has always been weaker due to that, but my dribbles took years to progress to diaper dependency because I wasn’t trying to. My continence finally went .

 

if you wish to progress your incontinence then wear appropriate protection and don’t fully empty your bladder. Let as much of your urine output come out as dribbles as possible 

[IC people: Have you ever thought you were more continent than you were?]

Oh yes! I’ve always been a bed wetter but as my daytime control began to decline, I was in huge denial for the most part. Like Kaliborio, I had no idea of what was normal for fully continent people. Looking back, these are the kind of things I was doing whilst considering myself fully daytime dry

Starting my pee before reaching the bathroom. I thought it was totally normal to not reach the bathroom in time and change underwear 2/3 times daily.

Wearing pull ups on longer journeys, going to a movie or anywhere with limited bathroom access. I’d even discuss with my girlfriend if I’d need regular underwear or pull ups that day.

I even put my wettings down to drinking too much water too quickly!

Even after I knew deep down I was fully incontinent I still wore pull ups rather than diapers during the day because I was still of the mind set that I just needed a little extra protection and wanted to be able to pull my underwear up and down. Then I came to terms with the fact that I wasn’t ever using the bathroom. I’m in full time diapers now and it’s such a stress relief to not worry about staying dry anymore

[Thoughts on unpotty training and becoming incontinent]

My unpotty training was subconscious or in denial, depending how you look at it. I’m a life long bedwetter, I’ve always worn a nappy to bed. But until around 3 years ago, I considered myself day dry.

having the peace of mind not to have to worry about staying dry has always been important to me in being able to relax and unwind, so I’d usually put on a nappy in the early evening. Or longer journeys, or when watching a movie. I’d use my nappy, mostly out of convenience.

until gradually, the “little accidents” started. I’d be unable to make it to the bathroom on time and start off my pee in my underwear. Or afterwards I’d carry on dribbling. But everyone has wet underwear, right? The realisation came when I at the cinema, without protection. I told myself I didn’t really need it, then was on edge the whole time drying to stay dry. 
 

i realised the pressure I was putting myself under and the level of accidents I was having and began wearing pull ups during the day. Now I’m in thick nappies full time and the peace of mind is wonderful. If you are truly open to it and it’s the right thing for you, it will happen. Just be patient 

[what are you wearing right now]

Getting ready for bed so changed into a fresh crinklz, plus a t shirt. Think I’ve had a wetting in it already.

[preference on thickness]

On 3/27/2020 at 10:43 AM, stevewet said:

I like a nice thick nappy. I don't feel dressed without the bulk between my legs now.

I’m the same. I use to wear more discreet protection during the daytime but I was always worrying about leaking or had the hassle of public changes and carrying nappies with me. Now I wear thick nappies all the time, usually betterdry and it just feels weird without them