[The frequency of incontinent desires in the ABDL community]

Lifelong bed wetter, now daytime incontinent too due to a combination of emotional need and laziness

['Incontin-ish']

I was in exactly the same situation a few years ago. I could stay dry during the day if I really, really had to but it was so stressful and required so much organisation. I’d always needed a diaper at night and when I started using them during the day for times when staying dry was going to be tough, I realised how much happier and relaxed I was. Of course, over time I’ve become diaper dependent and have no control now but I’m much happier and relaxed. 
 

my advice would be to take a practical approach, but don’t underestimate the importance of having the peace of mind of “just in case” protection

[Having your partner use your diaper too]

Nope, not for me. 
 

My gf wears diapers too and it even annoys me when she takes one of mine!

[Is nobody dry anymore?!]

11 hours ago, babykeiff said:

You are correct, middle aged adults don't just 'start' wearing protection just because of advertising campaigns, but the advertising campaigns do give answers. They are designed that way.

An average middle aged working adult is being trained by advertisements

• to loose weight by joining a gym
• to eat this new and more healthy snack food (Avacados / 7 fruits etc)
• to drink at least 1 pint / gallon / litre etc of 'pure' water that has been in the earth longer that the earth exists
• to stay young looking (Oil of Olay etc...)
• to use this/that bank
• to use this/that life insurance
• to use this/that funeral arangements
• to release x equity from one's house
• ...

and the list goes on and on. What is also added to this is the constant need to improve in ones job; to brag/oversell oneself when with friends; and much more.

All the above creates a very stressful life where most people don't take time for themselves. They are up roughly 30-45 minutes before they need to leave the house in the morning, guzzle a coffee and a snack bar, in the commute to a thankless job where their boss /supervisor wants x documents etc. yesterday, but might only growl if you give it to him/her before lunch - a document that takes 6 hours to prepare. As a result, lunch, if it exists, is a quick snack. You are drinking the pure water to stay hydrated sand have little time to visit a bathroom. As a result, when you rush to deliver the document, you need to go to the bathroom before and after that meeting - and due to the stress and presure of the job, you might make your pants a little wet.

Now, after all that, when you see an advertisement of how 'easy' the person's life is by wearing a diaper / disposable underwear, the next time you are in a supermarket etc., you get a pack - just in case. After all, according to the advertisement, nobody knows. Even you can't see the lines of the disposable garment on the actor - and it holds so much!

@Goerge, if we rush in life, we do not have the time to evaluate all the information comming at us. This is the 'game' that advertisers use to sucker us into buying products that we, in reality, never needed. So, in a way, you are both correct and wrong. Protection advertising campaigns on their own do not convince middle aged to wear diapers... it is the rest of the advertisements combined with the livestyle that is being sold that convinces middle aged.

A worldwide pandemic that occured in the past number of years ( I can't name it according to the rules here) has, due to the concept of working from home, has allowed a lot of people to 'step back' and re-evaluate their life choices. The reason that most companies worldwide was rushing to get people back to work was not about money and lost profits, it was to prevent their staff realising how much they were being used and abused by said companies.  

Sorry, but “normal” people do not buy a packet of pull ups because it might make their lives easier. 

[Is nobody dry anymore?!]

This was really not the discussion I was hoping to have here. The age and trends of the potty training of infants are totally irrelevant here.

 

My point is that it seems that far more people now have some form of incontinence. By people I mean adults who are younger than the typical age for these issues to develop. No, they are not full time diaper wearers but do wear protection regularly.

the huge increase in products available for this would suggests there’s an increased demand. Sorry, but middle aged adults don’t just start wearing incontinence products because of marketing campaigns.

[Going 24/7 around my parents]

If you’re looking to go 24/7, you are going to struggle to keep it from family. Rather than them finding out, it can be a good idea to plan it a bit more long term. Plant the seed

 

- start going to the bathroom more often, comment on how you keep needing the bathroom. 
- make a point of going to the bathroom before doing certain things “I’ll never make it through the movie if I don’t go now”

- had to wait in line? Comment that you didn’t think you’d make it

- long journey? Ask for plenty of restroom stops and apologise for needing so many

- refuse drinks later in the evening, saying that you’ll be up all night

- heard a hilarious joke? Say you laughed so much you were about to wet yourself

 

This will establish you as someone with bladder issues and will make it much less of a shock to family when you tell them you’ve started wearing protection for your bladder problems 

 

[Is nobody dry anymore?!]

1 hour ago, 2sail2 said:

With both parents working, it's hard for them to take care of kids.  They look for a quick and easy solution.  They say gaming has caused a lot of the issues in schools (adhd). 

I look at my wife and I and glad in a way we don't have kids.  We both work.  Can't keep up with house work, she loves to sleep in (each weekend day is half ruined) and shop for makeup / clothing. 

I don’t mean kids being late to toilet train. I mean adults starting to have issues well before the age you might expect

[Is nobody dry anymore?!]

Hey

i don’t post that often but I really wanted to get everyone’s opinion on something.

 

is it just me, or has there been a big increase in incontinence issues in the last few years? Especially amongst men who are much younger than the age you’d expect continence issues to creep in.

I’m early 30s, lifelong bedwetter, daytime control went about 5 years ago. Most of my friends growing up knew I wore diapers at night plus I come from a family with a history of bedwetting. Until a few years ago, I knew of no one outside of my family who had problems staying dry, now I know about 5 and these are people I’ve always known. I guess because of my own situation, people are more inclined to talk to me about it. No, of course not everyone is now in diapers full time, but they are using some form of incontinence product on a regular basis.

Mentioned this to my sister and she said exactly the same. That because her close friends are aware that her sons are bedwetters, she is often the one people talk to about similar issues.

I guess it kind of makes sense when you think about how the incontinence product market has grown. There must be demand and I know that it’s always been more common than people think. But I’m amazed at how common it’s become and wondered if anyone else has noticed similar or any ideas why.

[Pull ups for adults]

It’s simple volumes. Pull ups work for the typical urine output of a child bedwetter. They don’t for an adult 

[Change on a schedule or when needed?]

When you are incontinent you tend you wet heavier during different times of day. My morning diaper only lasts a couple of hours. But the next one will last about 4, then around 6 hours per diaper until bedtime. I usually change at roughly 8am, 10am, 12.30pm, 7pm and 11pm

[Wetting without realizing: What’s it like, how long did it take you to get there?]

I think for many of us who are incontinent, we leak small amounts so don’t often have the feeling of urination, simply because there isn’t enough in there. For me usually the only time I feel myself urinating is if I’ve been sitting forward for an extended period of time ie driving or working at a desk. It seems like I don’t leak in that position so when I stand up, I have a heavier wetting. I really only pay attention to how my diaper feels, once it starts to sag, I change. The time between changes is different depending on the time of day. I usually wear betterdry or similar, which is pretty high capacity but the one I change into in the morning is usually full in around 4 hours, but the next one will last double that

[Seeing yourself as incontinent]

I’m someone who took a LONG time to come to terms with my incontinence which is pretty surprising since I’m a lifelong bedwetters who has always worn diapers at night. However, day time incontinence wasn’t something I was aiming for.

For a long time I told myself that this was totally normal and everybody does it

Taking changes of underwear to work. Totally normal

Starting off every pee into my underwear. Totally normal

Standing over the toilet for 10 minutes until I stopped dribbling. Totally normal

Eventually I did admit to myself that I needed some “just in case” protection and I started to wear pull ups but the denial continued with regards to how often I was needing to use my pull up and I told myself I was doing it for the convenience. It took a couple of years and a few accidents before I finally admitted I needed to be in diapers full time. 

[At what point does giving up holding it in and choosing to use your diaper cross over into accident territory?]

I’ve definitely experienced this. For a long time I was in denial about my daytime continence issues (I’ve always been a bed wetter). It was totally normal for me to change my underwear a couple of times per day because I wasn’t making it to the bathroom in time- by the time I got there I had already started to go. A visible accident encouraged me to admit I needed some protection and I started wearing pull ups during the day although psychological it was very much a “just in case” for me. In reality my just in cases were almost daily, and knowing I was protected, I often told myself I was choosing to use my pull up for comfort or convenience. For me the realization that I couldn’t make the bathroom was when I was getting to the bathroom with an empty bladder and a full up, even at home when close to the bathroom. Nowadays I’m in full diapers and not always aware when I’m urinating, but when I do feel the urge to go, I still like to tell myself that my diaper is just for convenience!

[If you wear all the time, what is your daily diaper]

Betterdry or crinklz. I’m not bothered about the pattern, the diapers are the same. Day and night

[What happens when post-micturition dribble progresses?]

On 9/27/2020 at 8:52 PM, username said:

I believe my sphincter muscle is becoming weaker from my prolong 24/7 wearing and wetting at the slightest urge and not excising my sphincter by clenching. I'm very good at renaming relaxed. I'm been doing this for a few years in binges but when I hit a purge I start using the toilet again. I have noticed I am getting post-micturition dribble after using the toilet. I have wet drops in my pants. As well as it's taking me longer to get rid of the constant urge to pee, constant feeling I have pee in my bladder and when I use the toilet its a little dribble/stream which resembles when I'm wetting in my nappy as its always a little dribble or gush.

What would happen to my continence if I finally carried on with the binge for months and continue wearing nappies wetting at the slights urge. What would the progression be?

In my experience, this is the beginning of incontinence but unless you do something to speed up the progress, you’re probably a few years away from needing more than very light protection. For years I had dribbles every time I urinated, to the point where I thought it was totally normal to have damp underwear. I’m a lifelong bedwetter, so my sphincter has always been weaker due to that, but my dribbles took years to progress to diaper dependency because I wasn’t trying to. My continence finally went .

 

if you wish to progress your incontinence then wear appropriate protection and don’t fully empty your bladder. Let as much of your urine output come out as dribbles as possible 

[IC people: Have you ever thought you were more continent than you were?]

Oh yes! I’ve always been a bed wetter but as my daytime control began to decline, I was in huge denial for the most part. Like Kaliborio, I had no idea of what was normal for fully continent people. Looking back, these are the kind of things I was doing whilst considering myself fully daytime dry

Starting my pee before reaching the bathroom. I thought it was totally normal to not reach the bathroom in time and change underwear 2/3 times daily.

Wearing pull ups on longer journeys, going to a movie or anywhere with limited bathroom access. I’d even discuss with my girlfriend if I’d need regular underwear or pull ups that day.

I even put my wettings down to drinking too much water too quickly!

Even after I knew deep down I was fully incontinent I still wore pull ups rather than diapers during the day because I was still of the mind set that I just needed a little extra protection and wanted to be able to pull my underwear up and down. Then I came to terms with the fact that I wasn’t ever using the bathroom. I’m in full time diapers now and it’s such a stress relief to not worry about staying dry anymore

[Thoughts on unpotty training and becoming incontinent]

My unpotty training was subconscious or in denial, depending how you look at it. I’m a life long bedwetter, I’ve always worn a nappy to bed. But until around 3 years ago, I considered myself day dry.

having the peace of mind not to have to worry about staying dry has always been important to me in being able to relax and unwind, so I’d usually put on a nappy in the early evening. Or longer journeys, or when watching a movie. I’d use my nappy, mostly out of convenience.

until gradually, the “little accidents” started. I’d be unable to make it to the bathroom on time and start off my pee in my underwear. Or afterwards I’d carry on dribbling. But everyone has wet underwear, right? The realisation came when I at the cinema, without protection. I told myself I didn’t really need it, then was on edge the whole time drying to stay dry. 
 

i realised the pressure I was putting myself under and the level of accidents I was having and began wearing pull ups during the day. Now I’m in thick nappies full time and the peace of mind is wonderful. If you are truly open to it and it’s the right thing for you, it will happen. Just be patient 

[what are you wearing right now]

Getting ready for bed so changed into a fresh crinklz, plus a t shirt. Think I’ve had a wetting in it already.

[preference on thickness]

On 3/27/2020 at 10:43 AM, stevewet said:

I like a nice thick nappy. I don't feel dressed without the bulk between my legs now.

I’m the same. I use to wear more discreet protection during the daytime but I was always worrying about leaking or had the hassle of public changes and carrying nappies with me. Now I wear thick nappies all the time, usually betterdry and it just feels weird without them

[How does your bladder feel when becoming incontinent?]

Most of the time I don’t feel anything, I just leak. Sometimes if I’ve been sitting in a way that stops the flow (usually when driving) I’ll feel a heavier stream once I’ve changed position. 

[Those Who Had To Wear Diapers To School]

I started school in diapers as I wasn’t day dry until I was 10 or so. It was just normal for me, I don’t remember feeling embarrassed. My closest friends knew once I was a bit older, they never made a big deal of it. I wore pull ups until I was about 8, as they were easy for me to change then after that I wore proper diapers and then training pants until I was able to stay dry. I don’t remember ever having a noticeable accident. 

[overactive bladder from wearing nappies?]

20 hours ago, username said:

I think I'm starting to develop overactive bladder/urge incontinence from wearing nappies 24/7 through long binge cycles. My bladder is more sensitive and I feel the pressure/sensation to pee when my bladder is only half full. I'm using the toilet more and more. I'm getting bladder twinges and when it does twinge I have a strong urge to pee straight away. I can still hold until I make it to the toilet buts its uncomfortable. I find that if I don't use the toilet I have a constant urge to urinate.

Yesterday I was coming in from the cold and as soon as I got into the hallway of my house which was warm I instantly needed to pee like right away! I managed to the doorway of to toilet and the last few steps I involuntarily peed a few drops in my pants which each step. I relived myself and it was less then half a bladder...

When I feel a bladder twinge and I'm wearing a nappy I automatically release in my nappy and it feels a slightly more fast flow then usual, a little gush and I continue not to have th automatic clench reflex.. Which I think is muscle memory from training myself to remain open all the time. I am nappy trained.

I have mixed feelings about incontinence. When I'm in a binge I want to be incontinent and I pretend to be incontinent by wetting at the slightest urge without clenching my sphincter, I'm very good at that.. I wear for 3/6 weeks at a time - 24/7 - I can wet in any position. In a purge I defiantly don't want to be incontinent. I have been binge/pruge wearing like this for 17 years.

I don't know if to say screw it and continue to wear 24/7 and make it worse, the binge cycle makes me want to be incontinent but the purge wants be dry and continent. It really is a mental fight between IC and dryness!

What would happen if I continue to wear 24/7 to me continence wise? What is the progression?

What can I do to stop worsening symptoms but still have periods of incontinence play?

My situation is very similar to yours. I’m a lifelong bedwetter, so I’ve always worn diapers to bed but after wearing during the day (often through laziness than anything else) that started my declining continence. It started with having to go more frequently and feeling the need to go all the time. I began to experience post void dribbles plus not quite making it to the bathroom in time, I’d have a wet spot before I got my pants down. This affected my confidence in staying dry, so I was always in pull ups “just in case”. 
 

Around that time I got very down about it all, and tried to re toilet train but I was not successful, the stress and worry of accidents was too much. I also found that there were several things that were just impossible without protection. Cinema trips, long journeys, going any place where I’d be far from a restroom. At this point I finally accepted that I wasn’t day dry, and hadn’t been for quite some time. I’m now permanently in diapers.

 

From what you’ve said, you are already incontinent. It’s probably habitual rather than physical, but that doesn’t mean that retraining will be easy. I wouldn’t risk at this point, being out in public without protection, you’re probably not very far away from your first accident. Use time when you’re home alone to “air out”. Use a chair pad or sit on your diaper, you’ll get a good idea of what your bladder is doing. Don’t worry about travel, I travel a lot and as a diaper wearer, it’s much easier than you might think.

[Taking stock of my incontinence]

1 hour ago, hlcl said:

Greg03 Congratulations on the progress you have made in your journey to stay dry. You put in a lot of hard work.

 Have you would visited a urologist and a physical therapist? They may be able to help you as you work on becoming dry.  

 I would hate to see you throw away the hard work you have  put in so far. You may be able to become daytime dry and only need a diaper or pull up for special occasions.

Thanks. I’ve always seen a urologist regularly due to being a lifelong bedwetter. He’s satisfied with my progress so far but he was also not surprised that I’d started to have daytime issues. At the moment I am having good days and bad. Today I stayed dry, yesterday I had an accident. What I hate is that my dry days are not dry. Yes I make it to the bathroom but I still need to wear a pad because I can’t stop dribbling. For some reason this affects me more than wearing diapers does. 

[Taking stock of my incontinence]

Thanks everyone who replied, it was really interesting reading your views. I can see both sides of the coin. For some of you, The stress of trying to stay dry just isn’t worth it compared to the security of wearing a diaper. For me, I am undoubtably more confident in a diaper. What I don’t like is the idea of being dependent on them during the day. What is getting me down is that after months of stress and hard work, I’m still not fully dry. On the other hand, I agree with those who said that it’s silly to throw away the progress I have made. I’m trying not to beat myself up about it, that’s it’s ok to still need a diaper from time to time. I am torn between believing I can become dry and maybe admitting that I probably do need diapers 

[Taking stock of my incontinence]

I haven’t been very active on the forum in the past 6 months, partly because I’ve been “toilet training”.

I never been dry at night and have always worn a diaper to bed. I’m cool with that and realistically not something I could change anyway. About 2 years ago, my daytime continence started to gradually decline. In all honesty, this was down to my own “laziness”. I’d get changed for bed early in the evening, including my diaper. I began to notice that when I wasn’t in diapers, I was having to visit the bathroom more frequently. I began to wear diapers during the day with increased frequency.

It got to the stage where I was in a diaper the majority of the time. I began to have the odd accident where I knew if I hadn’t been in a diaper, I’d have wet myself. Although there were still times where I could make the bathroom, I wasn’t reliably dry and I needed at minimum a “just in case” pull up. At the time I enjoyed the convenience and peace of mind and my girlfriend was supportive. The only thing I disliked was in public when I knew I was wetting my diaper. I didn’t have a problem wearing in public, but I felt ashamed the times I’d tried to hold it or make it to the WC but could not. 

Around 6 months ago, I started to feel differently, perhaps triggered by breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years. I no longer wanted to be in diapers during the day and I also didn’t fancy the idea of having to be diapered during a date. Bedwetting at least doesn’t come up until you’ve had the chance to get to know each other. 

I spent months working on my daytime continence and got to the stage where I only needed a pad in regular underwear (post void dribbling  won’t go away). But I do have to watch my fluid intake and generally make sure I am near to a bathroom. Recently a couple of activities have meant that I’ve used a daytime pull up (long drive and an especially long movie at the theater). On both occasions I needed to use my pull up. Whilst I was disappointed with myself, I also felt a lot more secure in a pull up. It was the first time in months I hadn’t had to worry about taking regular trips to the bathroom or not drinking too much. It got me asking myself the question- am I really day time dry if it takes this amount of effort and worry? I’m considering wearing diapers again during the day but part of me doesn’t want to “give in”. 

Apologies for long, rambling post. Any thoughts on this?