Hannah YMS

Hi and welcome to my profile!

My name is Hannah (Jon). I'm in my early 40s and I live in Alaska, USA. I am a college educated computer programmer, house owner, and chess player. I work in government as a Programmer/Analyst. I have one daughter, age 12 (as of Nov 2020), and have been married twice. My first wife was non-accepting of my ABDL side (which is why we eventually got divorced) and my second wife is actually ABDL. I have to say, being married to another ABDL shaved about 10 years off of our relationship. Diapers and being a baby are literally at the center of our relationship (other than love, of course, but you know what I mean...) and it's the best thing ever, no doubt about it. She's my soulmatage.

I've been "officially" ABDL since I was 14, but I've been lowkey into diapers from as early as 3 years of age. I can't explain it. One of my earliest memories was when I was about 3 years old and being pinned into my cloth diapers and put into my plastic pants. This was in the 80s. After that, when I was about 6 years old, I kept wetting the bed and I remember my mom asking/demanding, "Jon, do I need to put you back into diapers!?" as frustrated as she was. I remember thinking, "YESSSS!!!", but I answered "no..." At the age of 7 or so, I remember my cousin putting me into a diaper; that was fun. When I was around 11 or so I remember watching Barney and feeling all of the baby-feels despite that in my grade level Barney was quite taboo. I was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Donatello was my favorite) and Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (the Blue ranger, Billy, was my favorite) kid. My favorite video game at the time was Xexyz for the Nintendo. (DM me if you remember this game!)

One night, at 14, when sleeping over at a friend's house, they confessed to me that they liked to wear diapers and act like a baby. This set my mind on fire. That night, while they were sleeping, I scoured their room as quietly as I could to find their hidden diapers. Unfortunately I didn't find any. From that point on I fantasized about diapers and wanted to wear diapers. I then found DPF and the online ABDL community. My very first orgasm was when I was fapping over a Bytemine picture from the 90s at the age 16. I was a "late bloomer".

From then on I made makeshift cloth diapers out of towels. It got to the point where every towel my family owned had rust spots from the diaper pins from not being able to wash and dry my cloth diapers (towels) discreetly, so the pins rusted. My mother asked me if I knew what that was about, and I said no. Sometimes my room smelled like urine and she'd ask me about it. I flat out denied any knowledge of it.

I went so far as to make my own plastic pants out of shower curtains and elastics. Once, when I finished making my plastic pants, I was up late like at 3am and I put away the sewing machine in the laundry room. I guess I made some noise because my mother came out into the laundry room and found me in my cloth diapers and plastic pants. I was mortified, but my mother later claimed she saw me in my underwear. I doubt that, but I guess we'll never know.

At first I didn't like the sissy side of ABDL, but over time I've gained more than an appreciation of the sissy lifestyle and have embraced it now for many years. I love being a sissy. I love pink and being a little sissy babygirl chastity slave. Surprising, yeah? No? I'm also a switch so I have no problem being a Daddy and being a dom.

I have many fetishes. They are: incontinence, catheters, urinary stents, butt plugs, anal play, forced messing of my diapers, chastity cages/belts/devices, BDSM, diaper slavery and fantasizing about having a Daddy (in all aspects, sexual or otherwise), despite the fact that I'm a heteroromantic demisexual (on the asexual spectrum).

I have bipolar NOS disorder and BID/BIID (Body Integrity Disorder/Body Integrity Identity Disorder). In general I am doing well, but I have my bad days once in a while.

For me, BID/BIID is the need to become incontinent. To give you an idea, I'm one of those guys who ended up in the ER when their customized urinary stent migrated into their bladder. That was a wake up call. A lot of my life has been spent of dreaming of and intensely desiring incontinence. Maybe it's because I need a vector for which I can accept my diaper wearing, but I think it's because it's way I feel I should be, irrespective of reason. It just makes sense to me.

Being bipolar hasn't been easy. It's a life full of rollercoaster emotions and moods that affect every day of my life. Sometimes I'm euphoric, sometimes I'm majorly depressed. Sometimes I just feel a little "too good", and sometimes I just don't want to talk to anyone. Bipolar disorder has been a blessing and a curse. I have studied for and wanted to be over 50+ professions in my life. I consider myself a "jack of all trades, master of none". The one thing I'd like everyone to know is that 98% of bipolar people are non-violent. We're "crazy", but not violent "crazy".

Despite being bipolar and having BID/BIID, ABDL has played a huge and major role in my life. My identity is intertwined with being ABDL. I'm an ABDL through and through. I will stake my marriage on it, even. For better or for worse, I will wear and use diapers for their intended purposes no matter what. This is my life style.

I pretend to be incontinent by wearing diapers almost 24/7. Sometimes I dabble with catheters, but I find that they're quite irritating to my urethra and their discomfort goes up the longer I wear them. I never leave home without a diaper on due to the anxiety of needing a restroom when I have the least convenience of needing one. In the winter in Alaska, traffic backup is regular with emergency services needed on the road where I can wait for an hour or more before traffic starts moving again. I also hate using public restrooms. Usually I can plan ahead and select the right diaper for the outing I'm going on so I rarely need to change in public.

Most of my family knows about my diaper fetish, and only my wife and my mother know about my BID/BIID, incontinence variety. Living life as an ABDL has been challenging at times, but it's not the most difficult thing in the world. That title goes to bipolar disorder for me.

And that's about it. There's not a whole bunch more to know about me. I stay home a lot and browse the web, watch movies, and smoke weed. This is Alaska after all

Edit: 4/27/2022 - I've since moved to Colorado. After 20 years of being in Alaska I'm finally back in the time zone in which I was born.

I'm up for DMs, so if you'd like to message me feel free. Cheers!

Hannah