BrownBobby

Ask and ye shall receive - you have amazing timing. I've been wondering if I should type an update here anyway... I'm actually doing amazingly well. The only two minor things I have to worry about is still not bedwetting (not that it matters that much - it's not like I could get up out of bed anyway without wetting myself) and having to cath every week or two to keep my stricture stretched out (though I was cathing sometimes anyway, so it's not that much of a change). Things are almost boringly normal - though "normal" is now soaking my diapers without any ability to stop it. Well, I guess I could...but "holding my peepee closed with my hand like a potty dancing toddler" isn't exactly a viable choice, now is it? I still go back on forth on whether or not I want to have my bowel control weakened/removed. The best part is that, for the first time in my life, I don't feel an overwhelming, compelling need behind it. With bladder incontinence, it was like a part of my brain was hyper-focused at all times about just how continent or incontinent I was, eager to jump on any control I had as a personal failure and a sign that I'd never get what I truly felt I needed. Bowel incontinence would be amazing and wonderful, yes, but with a significant list of downsides - perhaps something for later on in my life. In short...I have no regrets. I almost regret not being able to experience that amazing relief the first time I found myself truly piddling without control - but then again, that relief was the result of three decades of built-up guilt, desire, and hope. I'll have to settle for "just" the pleasant constant dribbling I get to experience, and the pants-soaking surges when I stand up. It's a fate not many would wish upon themselves, but for me, it's what I've wanted my entire life.

You've identified the major problem - you're working against your long-term goal in order to make it happen. That assumes, however, that your long term goal is incontinence... I've seen similar techniques work in the omorashi community - any muscle worked to exhaustion stops working. I used to do something like this years ago when playing with the idea - and then enjoyed the next hour or so where those muscles just stopped working properly to hold anything. As long as you're not holding a full bladder to the point of bursting, you risk very little in doing this. Definitely give it a shot!

Coughing and sneezing are one-way tickets to wet pants for me now. I know about kinking the urethra, and agree it definitely makes things worse, but I can literally feel the stricture hold it back sometimes - it's a weird feeling. (case in point, I just leaned back in my chair and felt it surge - yep, that's the "unkinked urethra" part and not the stricture part.)

It's amazing how much and how little has changed. I was wearing diapers 24/7 for a decade before this surgery anyway, so it's not like I'm suddenly "more" in diapers. Yet every time I do feel myself wet without being aware of it (or even stopping it for more than half a second), it's an amazing feeling. The moment I had the cath removed after this last revision and literally wet myself helplessly, I knew I was going to be doing well afterwards. I still have a stricture too to worry about - I cath about once a week to keep things stretched out - and I probably will look into getting a urethroplasty some time in the next year or so to take care of it for good. It's literally the last thing holding back my pee - and it's hilarious to me that it's a literal medical issue that causes me to even have a CHANCE to retain urine. But even then, it can only really retain it when I'm sitting or lying down. If I stand, lean back, or relax/tense my pelvic floor in any way, that's enough to completely defeat it, and I begin wetting myself. After my first surgery in Mexico, I was at a 7/10 of happiness with the results. Now I'm easily at 9.5/10, and if a urethroplasty works as intended, it'll be a 10/10. I'm so very glad i did this.

I don't even try with pullups. There doesn't seem to be a point of risking it. I still end up soaking my pants from leaks (or last night where my night diaper managed to leak - apparently I *did* bedwet), but I don't tempt fate. 😛

I'm still VERY much incontinent. I had some times where it felt like I was regaining control...then I passed the last of the scabs that were left over from the surgery. Un-corked the pipe, so to speak. At work, I reached over to grab my headset on my desk and suddenly felt myself soaking my pants. Tonight, more than once I didn't know I was wetting until I felt a warm wetness on my privates. My stricture is still there, and is keeping me from bedwetting too much...but I'm still having to hold my privates like a toddler to keep from dripping on the floor after showers. After that revision, I'm pretty darn set. I wasn't even this incontinent after the first surgery in Mexico. I'm beyond happy with the results of mine - and it's only going to get "worse" when that stricture is removed eventually.

Can we pin this post to the top of the forum? It's a very helpful summary of things for anybody looking for a good starting point. I appreciate the mention, and only want to add that I tried so many things before finally exploring surgery. If you dive headfirst into this, be prepared to try a few things before finding the one that works best for you. There's lots of paths to the end goal of needing diapers.

This is an interesting point, and I wanted to share my own experience with it. I've known I've always wanted to be "diaper dependent" my entire life - not just wearing diapers, but unable to go without them unless I wanted to make a mess of things. I thought that meant urinary incontinence - and I worked towards that for a long time. But when I was working with an excellent hypnotist (shout-out to Jayson from A Little Hypnosis), it became apparent that my conscious thought ("I want to be urinary incontinent") didn't match what my unconscious mind thought ("I want to be dependent on my diapers for everything"). It took some more work, and right now I'm in a spot I enjoy - after surgery I truly can't control my pee, and though conditioning and the side effects of surgery, I can't hold my poop for long before it becomes painful - so it's just easier to let go and fill my diaper. Heck, I'm typing this as I sit in my messy diaper because I wanted to finish typing and not be interrupted. If someone offered me fecal incontinence as well as urinary incontinence...I would have to contemplate it a bit, wondering if it really is closer to what I desire or not. I think of it as getting the language to explain what you want - I'd never have been able to say I wanted to be "un-potty trained" or "urinary incontinent" without having done that research, but I knew for as long as I can remember that I wanted to be in diapers, use them, and not be able to get out of them. I wonder if fecal incontinence is the same...though that's something I'm in no rush to pursue immediately.

Up until now, I'd have said that I haven't from the stricture. But...last night, I changed from my mostly-wet diaper to a dry one. I usually change earlier in the evening into my night diaper, so it's usually a little wet anyway before bed. This time, it was bone dry before going to bed. And when I woke up...I noticed it definitely was a little wet. That isn't unusual - sweat has done that before. Until I pulled the waistband out and looked down...and saw how yellow it was. Looks like, even without drinking anything for hours before bed, I still dribbled in my sleep enough to be visible in my diapers.

This is a fair question, and I have answered it before...in threads that ended up deleted. So it's probably a good idea to lay it out again, even if briefly. I've wanted to be incontinent for literally as long as I can remember. I researched so, so many methods to try to make it happen, and tried most of them to get to that goal. This surgery was one of my last attempts to reach that goal. I'm not married, but I am in a serious relationship with someone who not only knows I did this, but supported it. They knew beforehand that I wanted to be diaper dependent, and once they saw how I was approaching this as logically as I could, they were even supportive. I'd never recommend someone jump to surgery as the first thing they do to experience long-term diaper wearing or incontinence training. But if someone's truly had the desire for years on end (and not just when it's convenient or when they're pent up), I can recommend at least considering this option, costs and complications included.

Reddy's back home last I checked, and I'm on my way back now. Still very much finding myself unable to hold anything back. Case in point...I flew the first leg from Guadalajara with a Megamax I swore would last the whole trip. When we were about to land, I finished most of the 1 liter bottle of water I still had, since I was thirsty and knew I'd be able to change soon. We landed, everyone got ready to go...and then the pilot said customs was holding us for now. That led to an absolutely DRENCHED Megamax, a puddle in my plastic pants, a wet spot on my pants, and a few looks deplaning. Thank goodness I'm drier now - but this *was* what I signed up for.

Holy projection, Batman... What part of my reply was naysaying? What part of my reply said I decided what was possible? There's a difference between "discussing methods that have a chance to get the results that, from what I can understand, the person is looking for" and "expressing concern that someone's repeated attempts at pursuing a course of action is unlikely to get what they want." I fully support theoretical discussions of how one might cause bladder wall damage - it's just that from my research, the methods that can affect it come with some pretty darn severe risks (like ketamine). I'm all for finding new methods. And I'm not going to stop anyone from exploring them. But it'd also be unfair to at least mention where I see an issue that might help someone point their research efforts in directions that might help them achieve their stated goals. If someone really wants to try to find a much more involved surgical method that has far greater risks, and try to find someone willing to do it...I truly wish them the best in achieving that goal. But if the main driver of all of it is to dodge a rare side effect (my 10 percent doesn't count any of the outcomes where further medical treatment can resolve it, which is 7-9 percent from my research), then it seems wise to point out. Case in point - I'm already able to get mostly hard again. Temporary effects are expected, and usually resolve. If that risk is still a non-starter for you, @Squeaky Bearsies, then I'd recommend the catheter stretching route. It hurts less the more you get used to it, and will both shrink the bladder's capacity while weakening the muscles. It will take months of continuous use to get the results you're looking for, but I've seen several get results that way. And at the risk of causing another unprovoked accusation of being a judgmental asshole...there's something really important in your reply to me, @Squeaky Bearsies. From my experience, and that of talking with others, something like surgery won't help with this. Usually, it takes some deep searching as to why these feelings exist to start addressing them. I've seen lots of end results from said searching - letting go of the guilt, embracing the kinky and perverted nature, finding a way to bridge the two, etc. - but creating a physical dependency alone usually doesn't do it. If it's something you're comfortable with, I'd highly recommend talking with someone about this - therapist, hypnotist, life coach, good friend, or whatever you're most comfortable with. Feel free, like everything I say, to disregard it if you wish. You won't hurt my feelings if you think or feel differently than me. But I do genuinely hope that I can help others avoid re-learning some of the things I've had to learn firsthand.

I cannot overstate how much you're risking far, far, far worse effects with this fixation on somehow not touching the prostate. It's almost worrying how obsessed you seem to be to avoid what's a minor effect of things. You're removing part of the prostate, not the whole thing. There's a less than 10 percent chance of getting any sexual performance issues that don't fade during recovery, and anything that does happen is able to be worked around. The more diagrams and pictures you post, the more I worry you're collecting information but not understanding what you're reading or encountering. There's a reason this procedure was the one that Reddy and I - and others who have urinary retention issues - get. Other medical interventions have even bigger, more serious risks. Permanent stents come with encrustation, migration, and ingrowing risks. Bladder surgeries require even more invasive procedures that still don't affect the consciously controlled urinary system. Drug use is...well, drug use - I hope I don't have to go into detail there. I've done almost a decade of research into all of this. I get why you want another alternative...but realistically, it probably doesn't exist in a way that you'd want it to.

Between needing to handle a lot of things at work and recuperating from the surgery, I haven't had much time to keep up with this thread, but I can report what's happened with me, at least. I've been drinking so much water the past week to keep things flowing and healing properly. The nurse (who is amazing, BTW) came over to remove the cath late yesterday afternoon. I laid on the bed, absorbent pad underneath me, as it fully came out. And...nothing happened. I was confused. The nurse gave final instructions and left, and I decided I should at least get up and get a diaper on. So I leaned forwarded to sit up in the bed...and immediately peed all over myself. It hasn't stopped since. Whenever I stand, shift in my seat, lean back, or do anything that puts even the smallest extra stress on my urinary system...I wet myself. I have absolutely no confidence I could go undiapered now without making puddles (or worse). I am Incontinent, without a doubt. When I got the operation, the surgeon confirmed I have a stricture. It still keeps things from leaking constantly. But it's now the only thing in my whole urinary tract that has a chance in heck of stopping my stream. The surgeon resected my bladder and sphincter again, and the prostate for good measure this time. This time...it ABSOLUTELY worked. I have no doubt whatsoever. Those muscles do nothing. I am so glad to be this way. When I had some results after my first operation, I was wondering what was going on, and if I just expected too much. Now, I see exactly what I was supposed to experience the first time. I'm still sore and will be for a few weeks...and definitely have noticed the prostate removal has affected my ability to get fully erect...but I am elated. This is perfect. I imagine Reddy will update here soon, and it sounds like his structure is far more severe than mine - probably a difference in how we healed the first time. But I'm happy to be a helpless pantswetter again...and if I ever want to get one more procedure done (a urethroplasty to get rid of my stricture for good), I'll truly have no way to hold back my pee. I'm in no rush at the moment. One procedure at a time. But a urethroplasty I can get back home at my leisure, with a wide variety of urologists. The hard part is over with - finally. I can't describe the pure joy and relief I felt seeing myself pee with no ability to stop it. Finally...I feel like I'm how I should be.

Your story wouldn't necessarily hold up, mostly because of how skilled the doctor is. Like, "teaches other doctors how to do procedures as a leader" kind of skilled. And there might be other options, but from what I've found, they're harder to get done - and harder to make sure you have a support structure in place to make sure you're alright as you do it. I signed up myself for a revision - while my procedure definitely had an effect, it'd be nice to see even more of an effect, and the doctor and their support staff are willing to support it without paying again. That's the difference, I've found. (In fact, I think @Reddy and I have our revisions scheduled for the same date - this will be interesting.

I know one of these for once - is it Mary Had a Little Lamb? https://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?/topic/62316-mary-had-a-little-lamb-re-post/#comment-1449181

Invites are going out again now - it's the downside of having a private link and having a busy work schedule. Alright - I think I'm caught up on who most recently requested. If anyone has any issues, please reach out - I'll try my best to resolve them as quickly as I can.

I'd love to find the original thread for this in whatever 4chan derivative it ended up happening in. I have some questions for our author here about his "testing." So...yes, this could theoretically work, with a huge, massive pile of caveats. I do not recommend anybody actually do this method. But let's talk about what I think is going on here. You have two muscles to "defeat" for incontience - the autonomic bladder neck/internal sphincter, and the consciously controlled external sphincter. Finding a medication to target the bladder neck is trivial - honestly, I recommend most people just stick with Tamsulosin/Flomax if they're looking for something. Easy to get generically, minimal list of side effects, and decades of use for this purpose, so it's widely understood by the medical community. However, Tamsulosin and similar meds won't make you incontient. It just makes it a little easier to pee. From my research, there was no medication that could reliably disable the external sphincter. This makes sense when you think about it - what medication could you take that would relax/disable *only* that muscle and not others like your arms or legs that have similar biological makeup? The one suggested here is interesting, but I'm skeptical how much it's actually doing here - I suspect the required doses to be effective would have significant side effects. This leads to my conclusion - I suspect these drugs are mostly placebo in helping people who were already diaper training to finally relax and let go. Placebo doesn't mean worthless - I've found there is a necessary part of training where someone feels like they can surrender their need to control themselves. But if there was a possibility to run a larger study under medical supervision...I'd definitely be interested in seeing the results.

Alright - getting to sending out invites now. Thank you for people's patience here - it's appreciated.

I've sent you a message - I help run a Telegram group for this. We don't publish a public link to keep a flood of nay-sayers and spam accounts from joining. Feel free to respond to my message and I'll send you a link.

This can happen, as I'm sure the doctor mentioned - a revision might be necessary, especially if the original procedure didn't heal in the fully open position (by dumb luck or a catheter issue). My first procedure didn't take either - I suspect partially because my catheter had to be removed early due to recurring blockages. I think this is a fair thing to highlight with this surgery as well - it by far isn't a guarantee it will work, especially the first time. It comes with a whole list of risks that any major surgical procedure does, but especially one that involves the urinary tract. You're basically inflicting a lifetime of trauma on those muscles artificially, and hoping it's enough to make them incompetent at holding anything anymore. I'm comfortable where I ended up - maybe not a full time dribbler, but confident I couldn't go any length of time without a diaper unless I wanted to risk very embarrassing accidents. To anyone reading this and considering surgery - I'd recommend trying out other things first - full-time diaper usage, hypnosis, catheters, etc. - if only because it helps in the event the surgery doesn't take. Knowing how to cath myself has made things much easier, and having used hypnosis to help accept these life changes has been very reassuring and validating. Here's hoping it is just swelling, @Reddy - but if it isn't, there's still plenty of options, including Round 2.

I personally have found it invaluable to do so - a diaper makes a lot easier, even if it's not draining into it. Heck, even makes recovering from surgery easier. The nurses in my stricture removal were impressed I had planned to wear a "brief" out - they're used to having to talk people into it over whatever "mesh underwear with pads" would count as.

Oh, yes. The first time (stateside, only removing part of the external sphincter) my catheter blocked up twice. The first time needed an ER visit to fix. The second time, the doctor just told me to remove the catheter early since it was so close to when it was supposed to come out anyway. The next time (in Mexico, like @Reddy), it threatened it a few times but never got there. I did start retaining urine, but was able to eventually get the clots to pass with time. Still scary when it happens - especially when you swear it must mean you still can hold it just fine. You know, until you can't. The most recent time (local doctor, literally right now, to fix the stricture that developed), the catheter started blocking before I could even be discharged from the hospital. They fixed it, but it'd keep blocking up for the next two days. At this point, I'm rather skilled in flushing and clearing catheters, so I've been keeping things operational. Still not fun, though. I haven't had to wear caths for additional length any of the times, but there's a reason I keep a stock of indwelling and Foley caths on hand - makes it much easier in case it's needed. I've only really needed it a handful of times for getting the stricture to play nicely. Since starting treatment locally for it, I haven't needed to intervene on my own. After finishing this last surgery, I will have to cath weekly just to make sure the stricture stays stretched out - the side effect of making sure those bladder muscles get used to being stretched is just a nice bonus.

So...yes, they make this, but you have to be careful. The tissues making that 26fr hard to insert can be stretched, but tearing them can lead to problems including strictures (and from my experience, 0/10 do not recommend strictures). Best for now to slowly work up to it - get a 22fr and 24fr in comfortably for a few days at a time, then see if a 26fr goes in without pain.

Problems after surgery that I've also seen in both my surgeries happening in the US? Wow, imagine that! (I don't have to - I've been to the local ER for the same issue for much, much less involved procedures. It's an easily predictable and treatable complication. But that isn't NEARLY as snarky, is it?) It's *almost* like those were known issues that Reddy mentioned he was aware of. You know, almost like a competent adult individual making a decision while knowing the very real risks involved! Imagine that! I'm so glad @Reddy has been willing to share so much - it's *exactly* reactions like this that led to me not bothering to mention what i was doing to others when I had my procedure. I'm beyond amazed most peoples' reactions have fallen somewhere between "concerned yet curious" to "supportive yet intrigued." This procedure is a serious matter. It has VERY real risks. I've said the entire time (well, I did until multiple threads were deleted because of "helpful" comments like this) that this is something most people probably shouldn't pursue. And I'd love nothing more than to have a fully above-board option for this. In the meanwhile, we work with the options we have - and I'm glad to hear @Reddy's doing alright. It's never fun to see complications, even expected and predictable ones. But for anyone reading this and thinking about doing it themselves - this is part of the package deal. It's not like the stories. It's a serious procedure, with serious risks. And yet, I do believe there are several people out there who would still benefit from it.