[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

13 minutes ago, Reddy said:

Got through TSA and boarding now!  My diaper did set off the alarm so I had to get patted down but it was fine.

The scanners seem so random. I have heard back and forth about diapers setting them off. I wore a megamax through security and it didn't set it off.

I personally only ever had my powder set off the explosive detectors.

[cloth backed diapers?]

I am a huge fan of the Tykables Animooz. The cloth backing is tough enough to actually stand up and reasonable in terms of odor control. 

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

You said your flight is early. What time do leave?

[Nay Sayers]

2 hours ago, spark said:

My question is: what does the surgery give you that you can't get by wearing a diaper and pretending to be incontinent?

I don't like the comparison between gender-affirming surgery and incontinence.   I don't think it is an accurate comparison.

To say that my reservations with the incontinence surgery are in any way similar to transphobia and homophobia is a reach and insulting to the LBGTQI community that has to deal with intolerance.

I have had 4 separate conversations, 3 of which were with mental healthcare professionals that compare the desire for incontinence to be similar to being trans only in that there is a part of your body that doesn't feel right. Furthermore all 4 of those people and myself would never try to be part of that community and steal their thunder or co opt their message. However I find it hilariously ironic that you would in the same breath talk about that community and intolerance and simultaneously be sanctimoniously Intolerant to people who may seek surgery to become their authentic selves.

I am also struggling why you would come onto the incontinence DESIRES sub forum and have this argument. Pretend? I said it before, you lack empathy and understanding.

1 hour ago, spark said:

Seriously- if you can't draw the line at elective amputation, I don't know what to say.

And yet something tells me you will continue to say things.

19 minutes ago, cathdiap said:

Sometimes I wonder if body modification is some kind of last resort that people use to express their desire or even their right to self-determination and bodily autonomy. Even if that means their body will be less able to perform essential tasks. I wouldn't be surprised given the slave system we've found ourselves in over the past few decades. A world where people find it difficult to live a purposeful life and work on self-actualization. Perhaps this is the last chance they have to prove their freedom.

 

I heard an interesting theory on why mental illness and neuordivergent behavior seem to be on the rise. For most of recorded history and beyond our lives were dictated by pure survival and we have reached a point where we are above basic subsistence. We have the time and energy to think and feel and be in ways that have never been possible

[Nay Sayers]

13 hours ago, spark said:

You've heard the red flags, but you haven't processed through them.  It sounds like you're desperate for confirmation that you would be doing the right thing

I don't see how I'm butthurt or in a bad place.  First of all, I'm finally in a good place with my level of incontinence/unpotytraining.   I perfectly happy to wear a diaper 24/7 and pee in it almost all the time.  My potty training is now at the same level as a three-year-old who doesn't want to use the potty, which is what I wanted in the first place.  It took a long time to get there but I knew that was what I wanted when I got there.

I'm also not butthurt because I'm far too old to be concerned with the opinions of random anonymous people on the internet.  You're an adult, and you choose to disregard the red flags, that's on you.

As for the surgery being unethical: I hope we all can agree there is a line where it goes too far.  The culture of this board, and especially this thread, is this is a surgery that is life-affirming and will help somebody feel whole.  IMO, and it's just my opinion, I think it crosses that line.

I'm going to show you two absurd examples of examples that cross the line.    The first is people with an amputation fetish and seek to have limbs amputated (PS- it a real thing).   I would hope we would discourage people from amputating a healthy limb even though they feel that it is required to be fulfilled.  I see this surgery as an extension of that surgery.

The other situation happens far too often and doesn't even require you to visit a doctor to do it.  It is permanent and destroys multiple lives.  I would hope that we would never encourage anybody to do that to themselves.  IMO- if we can't draw the line there, we are f-d.

 

I'm a biological male. If I was trans and sought gender reassignment surgery (the Mexico Transgender Clinic's bread-and-butter by the way) the first thing they would do is amputate my penis. You keep getting hung up on this idea that there are acceptable and unacceptable things that other people can do with their body. And because by your own admission you have achieved your goals you lack the empathy necessary to understand what someone else is going through. And you don't truly understand it either. 

Frankly I find your logic pathway disturbing. It is the same logic that leads people to you can't be gay, Trans, or have an abortion because I find it reprehensible. So no, we do not all agree that this is the line too far. And your red flags are not someone else's, full stop.

The reason people are butthurt by your opinion is because it is such a hot take on a forum that is supposed to be for people who are seeking incontinence that you burned their ass.

If someone comes onthis forum and is unsure if they want to be incontinent or on the fence, nay say away and disuuade or point out the bad times. Being incontinent objectively is less fun than being fully continent. It's expensive, embarrassing, and can be limiting. Being diaper dependant sucks. BUT, when someone comes on here with the conviction to know what they need to be their authentic selves and reach the next level of self actualization, I am trying really hard to understand the crab in the bucket attitude some people have.

As to want incontinence, I can't change who I am and will live my best life with the circumstances dealt.  And being incontinent by any means necessary, including surger, is the best way to do that. And many people here share that same experience.

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

1 hour ago, Reddy said:

Thank you for this post.  The diving platform analogy is really helpful somehow.  I understand that it's normal to feel that way a little, and why I do, so thank you for that.

I'm pretty certain I'll stick around and provide updates.  If anything, I've seen that I really do need this platform to have people who know what I'm doing and understand what my journey is.

Thank you for the well wishes!  It's only a few days away. 😁

I really like the diving platform analogy, because after you jump, you'll be all wet!

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

I need your address @Reddy! I need to overnight you a shirt to wear during your flights!

How this hasn't become the mascot for this sub-forum is beyond me!

 

 

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

Just going to leavd this here without context.

[What is your least favorite part of this lifestyle, even if you’re generally satisfied with your decision?]

4 minutes ago, Enthusi said:

And you are also right that being diaper dependent 24/7 adds even more hassles.    I encourage most people who are interested in 24/7 to try it out, but for me it wasn’t feasible until I was in my 30’s for a number of reasons.   That said, you find ways to manage, and it really does get easier with time.  

I know I couldn't afford 24/7 until fairly recently and it is still a pretty significant financial burden. It is far less than the mental burden of not wearing though. That is for sure.

 

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

1 hour ago, Reddy said:

I think it's gonna be a long time before I'm brave enough to be "active" in that way after the surgery.  I think even getting constipated can be hell on a healing prostate.  Probably the first week after the catheter I will try to be very inactive.  Flying home will definitely be my most active day.

Did the doc say how long after until you can resume nighttime activities? I was looking online. TURP is saying 3-4 weeks. This surgery is more, is it longer?

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

2 hours ago, Reddy said:

No cold feet here!!  😄

You're right that will never feel the same again.  Yeah that 5 days is gonna be brutal.  I am gonna want that catheter out and it will be tough to wait.

Going to be the worst. None of the benefits, all of the post op problems. Will take some patience and anticipation of that 6th day onwards.

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

25 minutes ago, superabsorbantpolymer said:

Do you feel any doubts/nerves as to whether you want to go through at this point?

I can't speak for Reddy but the deposit would be enough for me to go through with it regardless of any doubts, even serious ones. I am too cheap to give up that kind of cash.

But then again I think going through all of the steps to that it took to get to that point would be enough to know that I was ready.

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

Just now, Reddy said:

That makes sense.  I think we all have different comfort levels with sharing and when to share.  I'm afraid of the rejection and would be likely to say it up front to scare them away earlier and avoid and problems, but your plan is probably more advised than mine.

I think it might also be pertinent about the point or gaol of your date. If it is a hookup or potential hookup then it probably does make sense to tell them ahead of time.

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

5 minutes ago, Reddy said:

That's probably good advice.  Although it would probably be easier to avoid having to tell people at all.  Maybe I would do something like you described for the profile, but reveal it in messages before the first date.

My plan has been to tell them around the time we plan on sharing a bed. I don't think it is pertinent until then.

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

@Reddy NGL. As the day gets closer I am getting more jealous.

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

7 minutes ago, jeremy12312 said:

I’m also not against you having the surgery, not that it matters what an internet stranger thinks about your actions in the first place. 

But your reasonings to make this seem, to the rest of the world, organic and natural are not as water-tight as you think they are.  You are caught up in the desire so much that of course your story makes sense in your head. Humans are funny about being able to justify anything they really want to do, in their own head.

But to an outsider who has no vested interest either way, it stinks. 

There is no reasoning this. It is not logical. And the more I learn and understand about human psyche the more I am convinced that logic doesn't exist.

And I am saying that as someone who is a hairsbreath from following him down there.

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

11 minutes ago, padded-nightly said:

People here seem to be falling into one of two categories.

A) people who are already incontinent and don't want to be, so, obviously that makes your choice a horrible one. I do understand *some* of the frustration from these people, you're fantasizing about a medical condition that they hate.

B ) people who merely want to fantasize about being incontinent and don't actually want it. These people, at least the ones in the thread here, are very self aware and reasonable.

B 2) people who profess to want this but are too afraid to actually take action on it. Therefore, in their frame of mine, your actions must be unreasonable and obviously wrong because if there aren't some obvious reason why what you're doing is a bad idea, why aren't they also doing it? Equal parts jealousy and anger at themselves.

I think we have a winner!! A bunch of incontinent people on the Incontinent DESIRES forum screaming that no one could POSSIBLY want this. I imagine the same thing would happen if someone who needed diapers medically at all came across ABDLs and find it horrifying that anyone would willingly or want to wear diapers.

 

Also, as a side note to everyone saying that you should live it first. It is impossible to pretend to be incontinent. I have worn diapers 24/7 for 4 years. And wearing vs using are two different things and until you have NO choice you won't know what you don't know. And if one untrains and you start to have legitimate accidents and 2nd thoughts it may already be too late to back out. 

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

3 hours ago, Reddy said:

The discussion about leaks was that I was suggested to purposely flood my diaper so it leaks in front of friends.  I know leaks could happen, but I still don't want them.  I think that’s normal.  But I do understand they are part of the risk of being incontinent.  I just don't want to do a demonstration of it in front of friends right now when it's not necessary, and of course I hope to avoid as many leaks as possible 

This is a similar problem I have with untraining for BI. At some point you are going to have to deliberately poop in front of people before it is an accident. And it feels wrong somehow to do it on purpose. I have leaked in public. Was it embarrassing? Yes, absolutely. Did I survive? Yup, and I moved on.

One will adapt and move on. I guarantee it.

[Holy Court case Babyman!]

The whole situation is terrible but I couldn't help laughing at the left turn they took describing her services.

"Swaddling her clients in baby blankets, fixing bowls of cereal, playing Saturday morning cartoons, changing their diapers, and kicking men in their genitals"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

10 hours ago, Elfy said:

I have to say I find the whole thing very intriguing. I personally never thought I'd see a surgeon who would willingly do this sort of surgery since it goes against the "do no harm" mantra which is very important. I would have concerns at how "legit" the surgeon is. It's kind of an oxymoron... If I wanted a surgery like this I don't know if I'd trust anyone willing to actually do it!

Personally I would love to be fitted with a little switch where I could turn continence on and off like a light

I think I'd be too concerned with side effects to go through with it myself. There was another member here once who really wanted either this type of surgery or one like it done but was struggling to find anyone in America who would go for it. As far as I remember he had all sorts of problems with his urinary system and many of them are the exact side effects you would be risking.

Not to mention ED and stuff like that. I'm a very sexual person, I wouldn't want to risk any of that sort of thing in any way. But then my need for diapers isn't as strong as others. Different priorities mean different paths to happiness.

I do think there is a good chance you could regret the surgery in the future. When the reality hits, when the shine wears off, when potential side effects cause pain or problems... but I also think you have considered them all and it your body, you should be free to do what you want with it. I know my girlfriend would be REALLY interested in a similar procedure.

So, I wish you the best of luck, I hope you get what you need from it and I'll be following the thread with curious interest

With a bit of luck maybe you can message me one day soon to move it from "Incontinence - Desires" to the "Incontinence - Medical forum"!

It would be interesting to see/know how the procedure differs in women. Much shorter Urinary systems and 86 on the prostate.

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

1 hour ago, cathdiap said:

This topic has made me think a lot about my increasing desires for incontinence in recent months Although the idea of being irreversibly incontinent is very tempting at times, to the point where I started considering having this surgery done myself, I keep coming back to the belief that I should NEVER do it. as long as I

1) lose interest in diapers after masturbating on the thought of being incontinent

2) stop wearing diapers when visiting family

3) get bored of the constant peeing and wetness between my legs

Over the last few weeks all of these things have happened, so for now I know I am definitely not ready for it. So given all the reasons I still have for wanting to become incontinent, I face a major mental challenge for the near future. 

And then there is the ethical question of whether the costs of any postoperative interventions and aftercare should be passed on to society or borne by the patient. What do we think of that?

This topic has been very interesting for me. Having talked with Reddy in and out of this forum has made me consider things as a reality that I had not before. It has taught me a ton. It made me realize there were things I had thought of but not processed as a reality. Like my plan was originally to become more or less incontinent before telling anyone in my family but this thread has made me reconsider and push past that fear.

There are things I think that one should consider before taking this dive. If you lose interest with something as simply masturbating, maybe its a sexual fantasy and not BIID. It may be worth pondering further. The desire to not wear around family I think is understandable, I can't speak for everyone but most ABDLs harbor many negative thoughts and emotions surrounding diapers and it is inevitable that some of these would center around family. I can't speak to your #3. That has never been an issue for me ever.

The people who are able to become incontinent through untraining have to be 100% incontinent mentally before it can happen physically. ANY doubt will stymie the process. But the hard reality that it is possible one way or another can be a powerful tool to really examine how ready one is. 10 days ago when I read the original post that had the contact information for the surgical center, I was 100% ready. Now I am 90-95% ready. The biggest thing holding me back is my aversion to any unnecessary surgery and to spending $25k. But it is interesting, because I have been working on moving forward with hypnosis and somehow the looming threat of a definite, permanent solution has made my unconscious mind process things differently and faster.

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

1 hour ago, Diapered Dave said:

Are you going to be diapered on the flight down there? You might as well be.... It's your new lifestyle. And if you're taking diapers with you in your luggage, the TSA would pretty much expect you to be in diapers.  Check out that TSA Notification Card that I posted a photo of on page 2 of this thread... You can get it from the TSA website here:

https://www.tsa.gov/sites/default/files/disability_notification_card_508.pdf

Just type what you want in the white space, download it, and print it.  I laminated mine too. Then if they stop you for an extra check, show them the card to get a private screening.

 

Just don't fly with diaper powder unless you want to meet the nice NSA EXO man. Apparently diaper powder is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS and very explosive according to the NSA. So the TSA will call them because their instruments only say boom while the NSA instruments say go zoom.

[Donations Needed]

50 minutes ago, ValentinesStuff said:

A scene from one of my favorite movies. Disney's The Furry Movie.

I am positive that ihave no idea what you could possibly be talking about. 

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

8 hours ago, Reddy said:

Edit: there's a possibility I'll be too tired to look at my phone and type up an update in this thread post-surgery, but that I call @DAQ and ask him to post an update on my behalf.  So if it's after my 2/12 surgery and DAQ posts an update about me, it will be the truth.

I wouldn't leave me with that kind of power and responsibility. You will get back and everyone is going to be asking you about how you found the Chupacabra and your short stint as a Lucho Libre "El Bandido Pañal"!

[Getting Surgery in Mexico]

2 hours ago, Reddy said:

I downloaded a countdown timer app