care_a_lot

I often act very babyish around my mommy. But it really depends. I think having an age gap between her and I, I actually find it easier to call her mom no matter what we are doing. So I pretty much live the lifestyle. Do I act babyish around my mommy? Sure when I feel like a little baby girl I do. When not I can act like a grown up but still a grown up with her mommy.

I like to have a loving sensitive and understanding mommy but that doesn't mean that I don't act up all the time and often get spanked. But she does it like a mother would her little girl. Only OTK spanking and mostly with her hand. She makes me feel loved cos she is so gentle and she makes me feel like I am the most precious thing in her world.

blow

^ Spaghetti Bolognaise <Trying to work out why I'm wide awake at 2am! v What's your favourite tv show?

Get this one. I was born female. I consider myself to be an IT because I can't say I'm male or female. Being a butch lesbian sometimes means that I wish that I could be a boy but that's not all the time (although I must admit once a month I always wish I was male but what woman doesn't!) But as a tom boy I am sort of in between these two genders to me. I'm a girl but I do a lot of boy things. There are some boy things I hate, some girl things I hate. So I gave up on defining myself a while ago and now call myself an IT

Reading these posts I agree with their statements. There is nothing wrong with expressing your own feelings but not so much to deliberately debase or upset others. Don't judge a book by its cover and try to be as open as you can about everything possible but its ok to have your own morals as well.

Wow! Your big sis is strict! My mommy would only spank me over my skirt or trousers whatever I was wearing at the time. So yes she'd spank me in public but discretely.

Group hugs are great But I agree when it comes to big problems between members it shouldn't turn into a big thing. But I guess that it depends on the person. Sometimes some people are just more sensative than others. That's when we should agree to disagree.

I have post traumatic stress disorder coupled with low blood pressure/sugar. Mom says that its low blood pressure just like hers and that the blood sugar that they found out with the tests about the low blood sugar because I wasn't eating at the time. I'm going to have to check and see what exactly it is but it causes me to get dizzy, head spins, I hit the floor without fainting, (my legs just give out underneath me) can sometimes not walk a straight line. I guess I have an interesting life. And no I don't drink any kind of alcohol or take drugs.

Wow so there's actually a good reason to use a pacifier!! Thanks for letting me know on that one I might store it in my *interesting things* space that I have in my mind and use it later myself.

I like to be spanked as my biggest kink. But I've heard about enemas...they kinda fascinate me.

Hate found it boring. Origami? (I think that's how its spelt that paper folding thing)

^ No, sometimes I get dejavu and sometimes I get told about things that may happen. But not overly so. < watching shrek and looking at message boards V what are your favourite kid movies?

My abuse started when I was 15 or at least the abuse that I remember. I was beaten and verbally abused by both my stepmother and my father and I would dream of being taken away from it all by a beautiful woman who would stop them from hurting me. Hold me in her arms and call me her little baby girl and tell me that everything was safe. What I found out in later years is that due to my father and mother always yelling when I was younger and me having hearing problems what noise I did hear really, really hurt. My mother was the one who would hold me in her arms and tell me that I was safe and that she'd never let anything hurt her baby. My need to return to those times is what kept my sanity during those rough times. I would imagine what it would be like to have her gather me in her arms and tell me that she loved me. I would dream this so vividly that sometimes I swear I could feel her arms around me. Sexual abuse I don't clearly remember but whenever I get close to a guy or a guy flirts with me I have a vivid memory of my father playing in my head. Where he was sitting against a fence and reached over towards me kissing me on the lips. Then he started touching me. I don't remember any more. But when a guy is close to me I do remember it. That is why I'm a lesbian. I return to my "mommy's" arms and I'm safe from any man trying to hurt me.

To tell the truth my family situation with a violent father and an abusive stepmother has caused me to just have nothing to do with that side of the family whatsoever. Yes I do miss them but I realise that they don't realise that they did anything wrong with me. They think that its ok to treat me that way and I just simply won't stand for it. I think that moving on with your girl would be the best move but the holding everything inside yourself isn't good. I'm not suggesting that you should talk whenever you automatically withdraw but more that maybe you should get into some kind of sport. Walking, running, ride a bike, go swimming...whatever works for you. Take your frustrations out there as well as wearing diapers and eeyore because you can't always do that particularly when your working but you can go for a walk for a bit. I'm at the moment studying a professional councelling course and realise that would be something I'd need to do in a stressful environment like I can imagine being in social welfare would be. Good luck with the future and don't let your parents knock you down. Now you live out of the house just leave their home when things start getting agressive before they lose control. Come back a few weeks later and state to them that you will only come if they can stop treating you that way. Maybe they will reject you like my family did, but I am happier knowing that they can't hurt me anymore and I did what was best for me. I believe that being true to yourself is more important than any one thing in this entire world. That might be a hard reality but coming from a family environment like ours you have to make some steps on prevention or go crazy in the process. Hope everything goes well in the future.