Jump to content
LL Medico Diapers and More Bambino Diapers - ABDL Diaper Store

luvs

Verified 18+
  • Posts

    105
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by luvs

  1. See there is the problem. The assumption that all our "senses" are "common".

    Haven't you noticed the conflicts arising in here. Both sides feeling their sense is the more common.

    common sense = opinion and every body has their own (even about this)

    Yes common sense does seem to just die from tome to time in here,but most people just let it go it is just a few that seem to drag it on and try to keep it alive. Any way if everybody would just try to be nice then everything would be ok and we ALL could have fun!

  2. I'm so glad the forum police are out and about doing their job.... I can so sleep better at night knowing that the forums are being well watched over and guarded... or bumped.... bumpty bump bump.....

    And yes ladies and gentlemen that was sarcasm...and maybe a little way too much Mt Dew...lol

    Yea some people just like the power

  3. Sorry it has been so long for an update. He is doing a lot better,we spent the weekend with him and on Sun you could see he was doing better. If all goes well he will be home late this week. A little about what was going on it seems he had been getting really sick for about a month now and it was really messing with him they said it is some kind of staff infection and then when he got his urinary thing (infection & stones) and they put him on meds. Well they gave him a yeast infection but because of the staff stuff he started bleeding and hurting real bad, then his wife said to hell with it and made him get in the car and drove the 2 hours to the ER he was only in the ER about an hour and then up to a room they said that he could have died from all the infection in less than a month he had lost around 20lbs thank god his wife got him there. The sucky part for us was having to wear all the gowns and mask and gloves just to set with him but on Sun thats when he was laughing at us. Well I knew a few people would want to know how he is doing(a few might be mad) and that he will be back on here in a few days. I hope anyway

  4. As some of you all know I am a really good friend of pampermeinia, so I need to tell you that he did what you all said and went to the Dr. and as of right now he is still in the hospital it seems that his rash was a little more serious than he thought. He was put in shortly after he went to the ER on Wed. I don't know for sure what is wrong his wife was a little out of it when we talked on the phone. but when I do find out more I will pass it on to all his friends. All I do know for sure is he is in the VA hospital and they have been running test. I plan on trying to go see him this weekend. I know he would want you all to know. Thank you for your help in this matter.

  5. You will always be my friend and I am glad to talked me into comeing here I really have found this to be a great place to be and I have found a few freinds. I hope the people you are talking about care and take you back in this big family. But if not you will always have me and your true friends. Hang in there buddy.

  6. Are you wondering where the April Showers went? That story wanted to trade spaces with this one, but April made me promise not to tell where she went to poster herself.

    (lol, sorry, didn't mean for that to sound dirty)

    Horrible thoughts and feelings have slowly surfaced since I wrote that reconnect letter to Trish. I wish now that I had not kept that letter she sent me all those years ago – my dark years. It’s not like I haven’t crashed back into depression a time or ten before, so I can’t really blame it on that letter; it was only an unexpected reminder. Perhaps if I had been more organized with my packing, I would have known not to sort out that particular box. That isn’t completely true – I did know that box contained some reminders of that time, but I wasn’t looking for anything in particular. I wasn’t thinking of it and all I wanted to do was throw out any unneeded papers.

    When that letter fell out of the pile of old cards, for a minute my brain tried desperately to check in with my body to see what kind of reaction it wanted. I was worried that it wouldn’t be the right one. I know better to believe anyone when they say there is no right reaction. I highly doubt they would ever say that if they had to spend two years of their life in and out of crazy hospitals because of wrong reactions.

    My eyes sting from the crying earlier this evening. A private sadness has been in a rejuvenation of a sort for about a month, but I couldn’t run from it. There is never anything I can do about the inner aches that return to the surface when I’m no longer able to keep them sunk within my emotional quicksand.

    The pain doesn’t just come from those terrifying two days back in ’97; it also comes from the resulting break down and the powerless passage through my early 20’s as if I was some pathetic lump of flesh, seen by some, to just be looking for attention. In total essence, the opposite was true – I wanted nothing more than to be left alone. I finally broke away from all that and didn’t communicate with anyone for an entire year. I felt betrayed and wanted nothing to do with anyone.

    After my grandmother’s funeral in March 2001, I drove the ten hours back home and didn’t speak, write, email, or even hand gesture anyone till summer 2002. I needed that time to figure things out for myself; to learn how to be, how to live, and how to deal on my own. The problem is, I did learn how to deal on my own, but failed to learn how to deal with others. As long as I isolate myself from the world I am perfectly all right – mostly. It takes mental energy for communication, of which I don’t have a big supply of.

    Back to the raw eyes; I stare out the window noticing that the heavy rain matches my mood. I watched the Narnia dvd movie earlier. When the fox is gripped by the wolf’s mouth during the hunt for the four siblings, this instigated my surrender to my latest fall into depression. The subtle sound of him wincing made my heart break, and I just lost it. I cryed ...

    I feel an awful physical pain, but can’t locate where I feel it. That is the worst thing about emotions; there is nothing substantial about them. I’d rather feel physical pain than mental anguish as long as I know where it is and why it’s happening.

    I want to be the kind of person who can look past emotional turbulence to those times I felt better, and know ‘this too shall pass’. My brain can think it, but my heart isn’t relieved. I bunched up my special blanket, held it against my face and let it soak in my tears. I inhaled the fabric; one of the most calming and happy scents in the entire world.

    There was sort of an exchange going on; I projected sadness into the blanket ... it gave me comfort back ... very symbiotic. I just wish I knew where all that sadness goes when it gets absorbed into the threads. Every time I allow it to catch my passionate release, whether it’s tears, screams, or angry laughter, I start imagining a whole other world where the emotional vibs swirl into it, like water down a drain, and they get captured. There seems to be a lot of power emanating out of me, so it can’t just disappear! The fact I feel extremely drained afterward tells me I’ve spent a lot of energy. Where did it go?

    Some might say it was a thermodynamic consequence of cellar metabolism. Utilizing more glucose and depleting ATP, emotional strain can kick start aerobic respiration, which then leaves the body spent until gluconeogenesis (or a nice sippy cup of juice) replenishes the body back to its normal state.

    Posh, who needs real science when you can have an imagination like mine?

    I call it the land of runaway dreams; here is a story of how it all began...

    The land of runaway dreams can’t really be located on a map. I suppose it is kind of like Narnia … you find it when you are not looking for it. I sure don’t like to go looking for that place, but no matter where I am, if I let my guard down I get sucked down into that world before I can even realize what is happening. Sometimes my surroundings look as if they had been drawn and shaded with pencil. Other times the scenery looks like it was made up of every existing and yet-to-be-imagined shade of purple there ever was and ever could be. There was this one time though, during a huge electrical storm that caused a black out, I got sucked down into a world that was filled with things made out of other things. Trees were made out of bits and pieces of china dishes and cups; the ground was made of crumbled up tires, footballs, basket balls, rubber bands. Anything that had a rubber texture to it you could find a piece of it in the ground. The pathways were made of crushed cans of all sorts that had been steamrolled so tightly into the ground that the rubber had melted them tightly in place so the path was fixed and steady to walk upon, just like concrete. The only difference was when I walked upon it my shoes made a tink-tink noise.

    I suppose you can imagine that the gray pencil shaded world comes about when I’m feeling a bit morbid. The purple shaded place to the normal world might, on the surface, seem to cast a royal meaning; but my mind usually takes things apart and deals with each one separately. If you split purple up into its primary form, you get red and blue. Red means passion, and blue usually means some kind of sadness; put them together and you get passionate sadness. That is what I think the purple shaded world is best used for.

    The only place I’m having a very hard time with interpreting is the things-made-out-of-other-things place. The entire world has been recycled, reused, and restored; but nothing has retained its original form. I rather like this place better than the others. I find I have forgotten why I get sucked there, and I’m always very curious about everything I see and hear. It seems even the natural sounds have been reorganized into something new; as I just described the noise I make when I walk has changed. The sounds of the wind blowing over these materials create vast new tunes than before. You can imagine the resonance of a tree made of china blows in the wind very differently than with bark and leaves.

    See I knew you had it in you. You have done well my child

×
×
  • Create New...