El Chancho

There is a very comfortable double balloon indwelling catheter made by Poiesis. The design significantly reduces UTI's and the tip doesn't touch the wall of the bladder. This really reduces the pain and overactive bladder spasms. The eyelet is located between the balloons. Very comfortable and I can ride a bike without feeling it. The occasional pull sometimes causes mild spasms. Make sure to fill each balloon with 10ml of sterile water.

I drain into a leg bag. I experimented draining into a diaper, but because you don't realize and can't control the amount of urine flow accidents happen even using a highly absorbent diaper. Some will say why don't you use a valve attached to the catheter to control the amount of urine. It's not the same as being totally incontinent. When I use to use a diaper I still had some control despite trying my best. It never satisfied my life long desire to become completely incontinent. I was very close to having a doctor remove my sphincter, and I found one who would do the operation. Having an indwelling catheter draining into a bag means you have lost complete control and no different than having surgery. People with physical irreversible incontinence might opt instead to use diapers, but I experienced too many accidents and wetting the bed. A benefit of using a bag is there is no urine smell. It's easier to travel, be more active, not worrying about changing your diaper in a stall, and always having to have a spare. I often had urges I couldn't control and sometimes I could hold it, but just let it flow and as a result I had to wear 24/7. I'm new to posting my journey and that is why I tend to write long responses. I just have a lot to say because there is no forum I've found where people understand. I feel different than most on this site because I want to be incontinent 24/7 for the rest of my life. I'm free to live my life the way I want to. I'm incontinent and loving everyday.

Does anyone feel that they were wired to be incontinent at a very early age? As long as I can remember I felt it wasn't a choice.

Prior to the 5 years I used an intermittent catheter and practice sounding. I travel with the indwelling. I do use a plug with a valve attached to the catheter when I want to swim or wearing shorts. You have to very careful to make sure to release urine or you can leak around the catheter. You can use the plug for up to 2 hours and I make sure not to drink much before. I sometimes insert a new catheter after I'm finished with the plug.

Thanks Spark. I have told a few people that I'm incontinent, but not that it is a life choice. In fact I don't feel it was a choice to become incontinent, my mind and body didn't accept being continent. It's not easy to describe and the closet thing I can compare it to is someone who knows they are a female in a mans body. I accept the fact I'm incontinent. I finally got there by using an indwelling catheter. I'm happy and fully accept my incontinence.

My desire to become incontinent started at a very early age. I feel my brain is wired to wanting desperately to become incontinent. I travel for work and using a diaper became so difficult to manage. I ask myself am I really incontinent with no physical problems and I've come to the conclusion that I am. I do have uncontrollable urges and unfortunate accidents. 5 years ago I started using an indwelling catheter and my mind and body feel like never before. I'm finally happy!!!! Using an indwelling catheter is total incontinence. You no longer have control and that is what I've been wanting all my life. Incontinence, I believe, can be a medical condition that drugs cannot cure. I know because I was tortured by the need and for the last 15 years it consumed me everyday and every moment. For some using a catheter is very uncomfortable, but there are ways to achieve comfort to the point you don't feel the catheter anymore.

It's a great feeling and for me a lifetime commitment. I can't see myself going back. My mind and body feel I should've been born incontinent. I think that is why I started wearing diapers at a very young age. I have and it didn't cause incontinence. In fact I've been using for 5 years. I assume at some point the sphincter can atrophy.

Thanks for the reply. I don't miss wearing diapers, except for the wetness and a feel good sensation. I found it more difficult to travel for business having to constantly check if I'm overflowing and carrying a spare with me at all times. I developed urge incontinence which resulted in having to wear extra absorbent and a liner. I also practiced sounding to expand my urethrae which made it easier to insert an intermittent catheter. Useful to empty the bladder when traveling. I've reached my goal without having to seek medical treatment, for now, to become permanently incontinent. It's weird to comprehend that my mind and body does not feel normal being continent. As long as I feel truly incontinent I'm happy which is the case with an indwelling.

5 wonderful years living with an indwelling catheter. I loved wearing diapers, but I got to the point it didn't satisfy my very strong urge to be fully incontinent. Living with an indwelling catheter means you are incontinent because you have lost all control. It is a process getting use to it and learning how to change it on your own. I've never had a UTI. For some people it is very uncomfortable and I had trouble at first. Now it feels like part of my body. Love to hear others who feel the same way.

I started wearing diapers over 40 years. I'm a DL, but always wanted to have the true experience of being incontinent. An indwelling catheter is the closes to being incontinent. I've never been so happy. In theory you are completely incontinent because you have no control. 5 years without a UTI and loving life everyday.

I'm new to this forum and I'm hoping to find people out there with similar feelings because I feel alone. My desire to wear diapers started in my early teens (40 years ago), and at that time there were no Adult Diapers in the pharmacies. I love diapers and the pleasure of pretending to be incontinent. I started with baby diapers and accommodated to fit. I was so happy when adult diapers became available. I only use them for urine. The older I got the more obsessed I became and started to buy more absorbent diapers. I was able to mentally become incontinent, but knew this wasn't going to satisfy my desire. Over time I had serious thoughts to medically become permanently incontinent. It was a strong desire mentally and physically, best described as a feeling that incontinence would end the obsession and make me feel happy and normal. I'm not going down that path because I convinced my urologist (I was honest about my obsession and had been talking to my physiatrist who reached out to the urologist) to allow me to use an indwelling catheter. The happiest day of my life, for the first time I felt truly incontinent. I've been using an indwelling for about 5-years, there are times I go back to diapers for a short period of time like swimming or other types of activities. I no longer am obsessed with surgery to become incontinent. BTW, I did try condom catheters and they were a complete disaster. People complain about the pain and discomfort of an indwelling catheter. It takes awhile to get use to it and there is a learning curve. I've never had a UTI, but with diapers I had several over the years.