runaway

She has a house to herself and rarely does a visitor come knocking. She doesn’t have to hide her stash of diapers at home, but she does sometimes anyway just because hiding spaces are fun. She once hid a package and forgot about them; discovering them several months later – Happy Unbirthday! Her stock is a bit varied (but not like when she first started buying online). She still likes choices, but remains pretty loyal to a few brands, such as pull-ups to wear around town, Attends or Goodnights in the house during the day, and Tranquility ATN when in bed. She switches those around when she feels like it – let’s go crazy and wear an Attends under her overalls while getting her oil changed. Why not get nuts and wear a pair of pull-ups while taking a nap. Will she have to wash her sheets when she wakes, or will she get lucky and wake up before she leaks? Air traveling used to be a problem, fearing that her carry on bag will be searched. She always has a couple of Goodnights in there. It wouldn’t be that big of a deal if they were discovered if only she wasn’t carrying her blanket through the airport (puts new meaning to airport security). There isn’t much you can do to hide them while going through the x-ray machine, so after several trips she has become less paranoid about it. She feels little inside her head pretty often, but she likes to keep that part of herself hidden until home. If she were ever publicly discovered or confronted about her little personality, she would be quite unprepared for such a thing; a faun in headlights. She most likely would walk away without saying anything, and remember to never let that happen again. A man aboud mid 40’s talked to her about this and that while waiting in line at TCBY; her favorite place to get an afternoon treat. She just had planned on going to the drive window to get her usual plain cone of vanilla + chocolate twirl, but there was construction today and three orange cones told her that the drive window was closed. She had to park and go inside the building if she wanted to get her cone. Parking was easy enough, but she had sat and stared at the front entrance door for a minute or two trying to decide if she really wanted to go in or not. By the looks of things through the glass windows, there were a few people standing in line, but not too many. Deciding that she really wanted her cone, she unbuckled her seat belt and went to take her place in line. “…I laughed and laughed when she made a giggle for the very first time. I can’t believe how cute she can be sometimes. I think I heard her say her first sentence this morning. She said mama me mama me. I think she was saying she wanted mama. Well, she hasn’t said dada yet. I'm going to buy that little baby Einstein's video ..." She felt like he was never going to shut up about his kid. She did like babies, but found it difficult hearing parents dote on them. She just wanted to get her treat and leave; that’s all. She would have gone to a preschool PTA if she wanted to hear about other people’s kids. Finally the guy turned back around when it was his turn to order. That gave her enough time to rehearse how she was going to say what she wanted. If she didn’t rehearse, her mind would go blank and she would end up ordering the first thing she could read off the menu on the wall. She was stuck with a cup full of pistachio the last time that happened. Even though she gets the same thing ever time, she still had to think "I wanna plain cone of vanilla/chocolate twirl please" before she could ask for it outloud. Another Day… It was kind of a gray day out there today, but after sitting inside for close to a week, she wanted to go outside … at least to get her mail if nothing else. She doesn’t ever get much mailings now thanks to online bill pay, thus doesn’t have to check her mailbox everyday. Today she went outside though, and had to wait and wait until two cars passed by. Living in a rural town has its advantages, but having a mailbox on the other side of the curvy mountain street isn’t one of them. After she got the few pieces of junk mail out of the box, she had to wait again for a big truck to pass before crossing back to her own side of the road and go back inside the house. Being outside felt pretty good, so when she opened the door to go back in, she decided she wanted to go to the grocery store. She really did need to after all; seeing as all that was left was two things of juice, four packages of noodles (that she had been eating for a few days plain), and two boxes of cereal (Multigrain Cheerios and Cocoa Pebbles). She tried brushing her hair, but hadn’t brushed or washed it in about … (tries to think when she hada bath last) … well, it was some time during the weekend, but don’t remember which day. Today is Thursday, so figured she should take a bath before going out. She looked at the time and it was after noon. She was worried that she wouldn’t get back before dark if she took a bath. Her baths take a little while … seeing as she needed one, and wanted to do it right so that she wouldn’t have to take one again for another little while. It isn’t that she doesn’t like being clean, she really does; and when having to go outs for consecutive days and being with others, she usually takes one at least every other day. But, right now she doesn’t have to go out. She gets a bit lazy and selfish when getting to have some time all to herself. She tends to let those things that don’t always feel comfortable wait till later when she has to do them. Deciding she was only going to the grocery store and also had to get a refill of some medicines, she didn’t have to be looking all put together. She did the best she could with her hair, washed her face off pretty good in the sink, and put some lip lotions on her lips cuz them are a bit chapped from spit (as she had been sucking her thumb quite a lot lately). She doesn’t always suck it all day, but she had been for a few days. The amylase in the saliva that breaks down starches, also likes to break down your lips after a while. Well, all she had left to do was get a decent pair of jeans on, since she had already changed into a dry pair of pull-ups and a clean shirt earlier. After she did that, she had to find shoes. She wanted to wear sandals, since the cold had finally gone away. It isn’t really warm yet, but it is nice enough for sandals now. She didn’t find them where she thought she put them, so I resigned to wearing her pool shoes instead. She slipped them on (of course without socks), and put on her cool purple sunglasses; even though it was gray outside. She always like to wear sunglasses during the day (rain or shine) cuz it helps her shyness just a little bit; plus they are prescription glasses (she can’t see without some form of glasses or contacts). She headed out. She should have decided where she wanted to go first before she left. She had two streets (3 miles) to decide which way to go first; left is toward the store, and right is toward CVS. She also wanted to go to the wash station to rinse off her truck. It had been sitting in the driveway for a while and had stuff all over it from the trees that is on her property next to the house. “Truck wash first,” she decided; that way she could put the groceries in the bed. She didn’t think it was gonna rain, which it didn’t. She parked under one of the wash tunnels, put in three quarters, and went to town with the water gun spraying the truck off. She likes the wash station; even though it is fun in automated ones too, cuz the sudsy bubbles are fun, but she also like washing it off herself. She would do it at home, but the wash station is a little more convenient; she doesn’t have to drain the hose and put up with puddles in the yard afterward. She also get less wet at the wash station (guess she’s a bit more careful in public, lol). She then got back in her clean truck, knocked her feet together to get most of the water off before swinging them back inside, and headed for CVS. She made sure to put her prescription in the little cubby under the radio so she wouldn’t forget. Her refills were outdated, and they always need a new written one after about three of them. She went through the drive thru, and handed the lady her paper. The lady asked for her name and birth date, but there was lots of noise around; she knew she wouldn’t hear her. Her voice is rather quiet when talking to strangers, and sometimes they get upset when they have to ask two or three times to repeat what she said. She cleared this problem up by handing them her driver’s license. Of course she can’t do that when wanting a mcflurry at McDonalds. She plans those times so that there isn’t much noise around, or when she feels like going inside; if there isn’t too many people in line. The CVS lady said “Thanks sweet face; it will be ready within the hour.” She was handed back her license, and she drove to the grocery store. She likes going through the drive thru better than going inside, because most places around here usually call you cute names like that, even at TCBY too. Well, her outing was half over; all she had to do was get groceries, swing back to CVS, and she’d be going back home. Well, that is until she remembered she needed to go to the post office. She was a bad girl over the Easter holiday and got a speeding ticket. It wasn’t completely her fault though. She was only speeding because there was a REALLY good song on and got to dancing and singing and not paying attention to the ‘Reduce Your Speed’ signs. She was supposed to slow down from 70 to 65 and then to 55 … but was still going 80 when she passed the cop that was sitting at the 55 MPH sign … oops. It was her very first speeding ticket, but wasn’t her first time speeding, so she really can’t complain. She took it like a big girl and smiled at him and told him that a great song made her do it. He laughed and said “Yeah that’ll do it every time. I would give you a warning, but seeing as how you were going 25 miles over, I’ll have to give ya a ticket.” She understood and wasn’t upset. Like I said, it wasn’t her first time speeding. She had got away with it loads of times, so getting caught was bound to happen. He could have cited her for reckless driving (20+ miles over is the limit I think), but he was nice and said on the report that she was driving in the 65 MPH section. She got off pretty easy. So, there she was driving to the grocery store, but really thinking she should go to the post office first and send off her ticket money. She thought about it through a traffic light and decided to turn around and get the mailing over with. Unfortunately, she needed an envelope; she had to go inside to get one. It was really slow in the post office, thankfully, and only had to wait on one person in front of her. She got the envelope, and went back out to her truck to stuff a fat check of $140 dollars ($30 for the fine and $110 for court costs). I’m not sure why she got charged for court costs when she didn’t go to court … I guess it is the administration fee for the paper work that they do. She was finally on her way to the store again. She only picked up a few things: soda, V8, yogurt, boca burgers, and bread. She was ready to go home, but needed to go back to CVS. She was pretty tired, but fortunately that same lady was still there and remembered her name. She didn’t have to say anything, except to smile thanks at her and made her way home. Her pull-ups were a smidge bit wet, but after putting all the groceries away, she wanted to lay down with her blanket and take a nap. … think she’ll take a bath tomorrow, maybe. Speaking of ... shaving is always a nuisance! She always WANTS to stay on top of it and keep all areas hair free, but that task is so time consuming and takes motivation. Like taking a bath, she is pretty good when having to be out and it is too warm to be covered up. But, when she is feeling tired, down, or just completely unable to leave the house for a while, the wildlife foundation could mistake her for an endangered species. Sometimes she hates being a girl because her entire body needs attention all the time! … legs, arms, brows, her secret places, and now (for these last 1-2 years) nose hairs are bothering her. It is a forever, ongoing process of shaving and reshaving. She would pay any amount (possibly even her blanket as payment) to clear away unwanted body hair permanently; without any more maintenance involved. She wonders, 'is this normal or am I obsessing over this too much?' She feels trapped with her hygiene needs at times. They take effort. It the back of her mind she cries; she wants her little girl body back during those times she is just unable to keep up with it all. On a different, but similar day … or I should say night, she was in a familiar tiredness as she had felt before, but tonight she was able to make mental pictures to help good feelings fill her up. Sometimes her mind is too foggy to do that. It was a gift to be able to create this particular picture, because more often than not … even though many have expressed their liking for her; even though the ones that have been mean to her in the past didn’t matter much to her at all … she still felt unworthy, maybe undeserving, and a bit embarassed of this very painting she was imagining stroke by stroke. She lay halfway down, propping her back and head up on pillows. She felt a little dizzy, which helped with creating the motion effect she wanted. Without having to make a move, she felt as though she were rocking back and forth. Her head spin a bit. If she wasn’t careful this could lead to her feeling nauseous. She concentrated on feeling good, which helped the sickness stay away. The ground work was set; all she needed was her covers positioned in just the right bunch pattern around her chest, her blanket cooled off enough so that there were plenty of cool spots to love on, a cold drink sitting on the side of her bed when she felt the need to cool down her mouth. She likes the taste of her thumb when it is cool to start off. The cold drink helps to keep it this way. It also helps to freshen and revitalize the slippery feel. All she had left was to place her elephant lying on her back under her head, utilizing her legs as snuggle points against her cheek. She placed a cool piece of her blanket into her sucking hand, and closed her eyes. She felt the rocking and could paint portions of what the chair looked like. She then could imagine chest heaves against her back. The rocking made her feel fantastic enough to create a face that was now pushing against the side of her neck. That face kissed her softly. Rocking and slowly kissing; breathing and gently holding her in her lap. The covers around her chest began feeling more like arms. This feeling and image lasted for quite awhile. She fought off falling asleep for as long as she could, but inevitably … blackness filled her mind and the painting faded away.

I live 3rd rock from the chasm, next to the old oak tree. Directions: Start out at Cedar Point and go 500 pogs Turn left at the sword and anvil Walk 20 paces due south, southwest Circle the town of Windsor Hills Cross the bridge of terabithia Stroll past Kissimmee’s cloud (quietly) And climb half way up the east side of Thunder Mountain You’ll see an 8 foot narrow opening There is a chiseled oak tree next to it with the acronym ‘OLD’ chiseled on the trunk Skooch side ways inside I’m just 100 tinker bell feet inside the wockety pocket

http://if-thoughts-could-talk.com stories, poetry, and audio narrations (from time to time, but not always) thanks for the praise below .

Wow Jenn, that was beautiful - really. Thanks for sharing. And, yeah completey right about friends and sharing your feelings.

Yep, yahoo voice chat, even with it's down sides, was fun. Too bad fun don't pay the bills. Even in an ideal world where the stuff is free doesn't mean it won't cost you a lot of time and effort. I'm sure DD looked into the chat options thoroughly and they are currently offering the best available chatroom available that they can (thanks btw).

Wow, I'm pleased with all the responses. They are all really great. Tux forced me to learn some new words, lol, thanks. I've discovered what I like today doesn't mean I'll like it tomorrow. More importantly - what I didn't like yesterday I'm finding I LOVE today! Wearing baby diapers and kid pullups makes me feel more like a woman than wearing adult diapers -- mmm the pressure! (yeah I know, dirty, but true)

What are some of your kinks that contain some element that contradict itself? Examples below if you don’t get what I mean… Love my little girl play, but hate being treated like one when I'm playing adult. Love to have accidents on purpose, but would completely hate having a real accident. Love select fictional ff sex stories, but have never (nor have the intension) seen ff porn. Conflicting kinks … what’s your take? Or am I just the rebel among misfits? (I would enjoy that if it were true, lol.)

The term/fetish 'Adult Baby' pretty much includes all age regression stages, not just infant behavior. There isn't a widely recognized term for little girl/boy play other than AR (age regression) or role play, but those are not nouns they are verbs. You need a noun to describe what you might be ... you might be an ass if ... (ass & AB being nouns). You might be a naughty AB if ... you refer to fun spoliers as a doo doo head you incourage agruments by saying 'because why' and say 'nut-uh' when they don't give an answer you like prefer bad behavior to good behavior just because it gets 'grown ups' mad you bratafy up to get a spanking, but immediately say somethin incredibly cute - shielding yourself from that spanking yeah ... playing dirty is the best fun

Yes, cuz a few years back I wondered what it was like to wear cloth diapers. I hated them after a week cuz I had to keep washin them. I now use them as hot pot holders and kitchen towels Have you ever just allowed your diaper to leak because you were too lazy to change ... or get excited at the thought of leaking even if you are alone in the house?

... if: You still love games like hide and sneek, Red light Green light, kickball, dodgeball (I never liked this one), Mother May I, Red Rover, four square, Heads up 7-Up! You see a sprinkler and think YAY! Order a Happy Meal and go straight for the toy The front seat of the car is still a privilege Saturday morning cartoons run till Tuesday You refer to breaks as recess You play double dare with your grown siblings Bloody Mary still frightened the bagee bees outta you Mondays and the first day of school yield the same reaction Bedtime prayers and goodnight kisses are necessary Climbing trees isn’t just a memory – you still scout for the perfect strong low branch Getting an ice cream off the ice cream truck makes you gidy A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers is how your spend summer weekends The thought of jumpin' on the bed makes you scared to get in trouble - then do it anyway Pillow fights are a weekly occurrence Runnin' till you are out of breath is a fun activity – not something that requires cpr You laugh so hard you pee your pants, then laugh again Kool-Aid & Icee Cups is the drink of the summer Giving your friends a ride on your handlebars seems like very handy transport Wearing your new shoes makes you look down at your feet all day You still like taking Field Trips! (not road trips) By getting high you mean swinging $5 seems like a lot Toys r Us seems way funner than the mall Still use words like ‘funner’ Decisions are made by the eeny-meeny-miney-moe method Your sandwiches must be cut a certain way (DiagonAlley for me) Mistakes are corrected by exclaiming, "do over!" Race issues is about arguing who ran the fastest Catching fireflies is a great way to end a late spring night Hearing a cuss word makes you go ‘oooooooo!’ The worst thing you catch from the opposite sex is cooties You think nobody is prettier than Mommy Mommy's kiss has the power to heal boo boo’s

I had one experience quite some time ago. I went on a blind date with a man in his early 30's ... I was 24 at the time. I'm assuming he is older than the guy you are currently dating, so not sure if the age gap will produce a different result. Maybe it will help with the unveiling process anyway. The date came about because a guy in my microbiology study group told me his friend wanted to ask me out but was too scared. I’m like, "well I wanna go see the new Harry Potter movie – would he be interested in that?" I guess that sealed it, lol, because next thing I knew the friend was meeting me at the theater that next Friday -- amazed that only mentioning a plan made the date final. I went along with it, figuring that even if I really wasn’t that into guys (yeah I like girls) I could still get a free movie night out of it. I wore a jean jumper dress, with a small lily flower embroidered on the bottom. It wasn’t a completely juvenile outfit, but it could have that effect if you wear a goodnites underneath – I did. The rest of me was relatively age appropriate. He was waiting for me at the ticket booth. He smiled and thanked me for showing up. I’m not really sure why he was so happy about it; he was rather attractive, and probably could have got a date on his own. His confidence was a little low, making him seem a bit pathetic – cute anyways. I could have liked him as a friend. Well, when we got settled into the theater I asked him how he liked my outfit. He said it was cute. Then the discussion began turning into things we liked as kids, and the Harry Potter series itself being liked by all ages… things like that. I steered the conversation toward the “long long” movie (not really, but you see where I’m going). I’m like, “so do you prefer to hold it or get up in the middle of the movie? I hate missing the good parts.” He just said that, “well, if you have to go you have to go. You are gonna buy the movie anyways, so you’ll catch what you missed”. I go – “yeah I could miss things, or I could wear goodnites.” The look on his face was priceless. Have you ever read about people’s jaws dropping? I thought that was just a literary occurrence, but his jaw actually dropped open, lol. It wasn’t in a bad way… he was into it. By the middle of the movie, his hand had gone from his leg to mind, and then slowly crept up to the goodnites. He wanted to feel it. I’m betting that he was hoping it was wet. When we walked out to our cars, he asked me if I wore them often. That’s when I told him about being an adult baby. We made another date, but I called it off. He called several times asking to reschedule, but I was over pretending I wanted a relationship with him. I didn’t want him to get close to me only to find out I like girls -- that would be cruel. So, maybe if you introduce it to him by having an outside activity related to your favorite ab play. Definitely, if you two are at all sexual, make it something sexy. He’ll be all over you, even if he is slightly bothered by the diapers. Guys usually get over those things if sex (or something related to it) is involved. Minor details like liking diapers won’t matter. Good luck.

When I say: I don't want a 'partner' (daddy/mommy or playmate) I get along just fine without anyone in my life Having only acquaintances suits me > ... I get many of the same responses - "yeah right" being among the most popular. Well, not that I need for anyone to believe me, but just thought I'd enjoy painting a picture for a glimpse into my solo ab play and maybe you will see why it is rather satisfying. Just because I like being a little girl, doesn't mean there needs to be a grown up or playmate included in my play. Here's one example: As I stand in my house listening to the silence after a long 8 hr drive from across the state, a relaxing calm settles into me as if my body had been scrunched up in a tiny box the whole time I was away. My stomach begins to unknot and the habitual slight tremble of my nerves finally abates. I see my bed adorned with several layers of blankets, and soft yellow and blue cotton pillows waiting for me. My 2 favorite stuffed animals lay at the foot of the bed – my light grey elephant named Sniffy, and my German Sheppard named Pepsi. Of course, my special blanket travels with me, which at those moments I enter my home it is usually balled up under my arm. I’m never able to go back out to my truck to unpack until the next morning because of the incredible hug my home gives me when I first walk in. That old cliché “sight for sore eyes” is ever so appropriate. The air seems cleaner and I’m able to breathe much easier. The quiet makes me want to cry in relief. Being home means more to me than anything. Sharing my home with someone else would be a huge deal. The world outside of my home is always scary… on a spectrum of course. The stimulation can be rather overwhelming, or can build up to be overwhelming and I must go back home. Interacting with people can be irritating and tiresome. There are times when I just can’t speak, I’m that exhausted – mentally and physically. But the people that I know don’t understand that concept. They are the kind of people that love talking about nothing; love calling you up and saying, “Hey, it is really raining over here. What is it like there?” I’m not one to enjoy discussing the weather unless the roof just blew off someone’s house and knocked into a gas station and blew up half the city. That, to me, is something to discuss. I like enjoying a few rain drops and keeping it a secret. The small unimportant moments of life are my treasures I keep safe, only to come out in a story or three when I get the urge to liberate and put meaning to them – my own special meaning. The shackles of fear and distrust lift on occasion, and that’s when I enjoy a good chat online. I haven’t really been interested for a few years, but that is just because I’ve been bogged down with basic living. I didn’t have the energy for anything extra; particularly extra socializing. I was put into a situation where I was in a social setting for far too many hours of each day. I wasn’t about to voluntarily add more to my social load than I already had. Those solo hours were too valuable. My little girl play consists of a combination of things: * Loud music and dancing till I’m tired. * The old standby -- coloring. * Playing with little rubber figures (animals and people) I find in dollar stores or Walmart, & acting out the Metamor Keep story line. I have many of the characters, but not all. Since it is an unknown online story series, there aren’t any official toys, so I have to improvise. My favorite kind of play! * Watching cartoons and movies. * Reading (and writing) many with ff sex themes. Through these activities (and some ordinary ones) I’m wearing one of 3 types of “diapers”: Huggies 4-5T training pants, youth Attends, or XL Goodnites. On rare occasions I put on a Huggies Supreme 6; the ones with Winnie the Pooh on em. My solo ab play would spoil over time if there were other people involved in real life. I find relationships cumbersome, even if it is with a very nice and understanding person. I actually have had 2 such people almost enter my life like that, but I just wasn’t able to let them in completely. When I feel the rare need to play with others, it is best for me to do it online in a chat room. That way, I can leave to be by myself again and not hurt anyone’s feelings. If I were in a relationship, or even just as friends, the concept of wanting to be alone always seems to hurt them, even when it isn’t about them at all. And I rather like being alone far too much. They seem to think I’m avoiding them – I am, but not like they think. That old saying ‘it isn’t you, it’s me” really does apply to real situations; it isn’t just a line or lie. It applies to me. So, when I come and play (usually ranging 3-5 yrs old) in the chat room, know I’m there just for play and not to meet or try and hook up with anyone. I don’t want anything from you other than maybe a giggle when I say something enormously cute, or to share your crayons when I feel the need to decorate the playroom walls. I do enjoy joining in some of the conversations, and I just watch at times too. You know, being immune to spankings has its advantages – a fact I can only explain with charts and graphs (in crayon on the playroom wall of course). I was friendly with a few of the chat-lings on yahoo a few years ago, and you’ve welcomed me back in a very nice way. Thanks!

There are only a handful of days out of a year I ever feel like I'd want to be part of the abdl community ... but then reality sets back in and I realize that I'd never ever be able to trust anyone enough to expose my most vulernable part of myself to them -- to you. There are some good people here and there, but I will never be able to take that risk with only a hope that I won't run into those bad people who only know how to take and hurt. Please, just forget I ever came here...