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Misty, I feel bad for you. Down right horrible on the inside. You need to realize how valuable you are as a person. I wish you strength, and perseverance. No one deserves what your "husband" is doing to you.

Sorry to hear about the troubles you've had. Like your husband, I am a DL and I have been in a long term relationship with a women who has done her best to participate although, like yourself, it was not arousing to her at all. Its strange but, after reading your post, I feel more inclined to side with YOU rather than your husband. First of all, I think marital counseling here is a MUST. But, before going, you should make it clear to your partner that you're not trying to "cure" or get rid of his fetish - but you are just trying to create a healthier relationship where you can both have your needs and desires fulfilled. (I'm assuming that you are somewhat open to the idea of diapers in the bedroom or indulging your husband from time to time? Maybe?) The lying should be the #1 'red flag' in all of this. He didn't just lie to you once but it seems that he did so repeatedly. I recommend counseling to rebuild that trust, and to feel secure with your partner. But you also need to tell HIM how hurt and upset you feel that he has lied to you again and again - and it will take time to rebuild trust. You should take some time to think about how you feel about THE FETISH itself. Forget about the lying, porn, and any other relationship problems. If everything else in your marriage was just fine, could you live with the fact that your husband enjoys wearing diapers occasionally? Is the fetish alone really disturbing to you? Could you learn to live with it? Ultimately, in this relationship, I think you need to stand up for yourself occasionally. It seems that you've been very tolerant and very accommodating to your husband. (Maybe you've even been too tolerant?) There are a HUGE number of women out there who would NEVER even CONSIDER indulging in such a strange fetish. Many women would be repulsed or even angry at the fact that their husbands had such a fetish. There are other more tolerant women out there who would ALLOW their husbands to indulge in diapers - but INSIST that they do so privately because, for the women, the fetish is just too strange and disturbing. This is a compromise that works for some marriages and one you might want to consider if you are seriously bothered by the fetish itself. But, in the world of DLs, you have gone to great lengths to set yourself apart from MOST women who wouldn't ever consider stepping so far out of their comfort zone to indulge in such a fetish. Just being willing to TRY such a strange fetish makes you a brave and loving wife who has proven that she is willing to go above and beyond in pleasing her husband. Your husband needs to understand just how lucky he is in this regard. It doesn't seem like he appreciates how far you have stepped out of your comfort zone. You need to TELL HIM just how difficult all of this is for you to deal with - you are working very, very hard to please him and he doesn't seem to be showing a lot of gratitude. You gotta say, "I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and working really, really, really hard to please you. I know I won't always match your fantasy exactly but I'm willing to do my best. I want you to try and be patient with me while I learn about what you like and experiment to get it right. I also ask that you try to be patient with me. This is all very new and sometimes a little scary for me. Diapers can be a real part of our sex life but we need to move slow. And if I'm doing all of this to please you, I expect you to work just as hard to please me - inside and outside of the bedroom." Some things to remember when working to indulge your husband... 1- If you really start to feel uncomfortable, take a break from diapers in the bedroom. Explain to your husband that you need to move at your own pace and this is all still very new to you. Some women try to go "all out" in indulging their husbands only to realize later that the fetish really makes them uncomfortable. Think of it as a swimming pool. You need to test the temperature of the water by dipping your feet in it. Eventually, when you get used to the water, you can go in a little further. 2- You have needs too! Explain to your husband that you have needs that have to be met also and that it cannot ALL be about his needs every time you go into the bedroom. If you are willing to step outside of your comfort zone to please HIM, then he needs to be willing to do the same to please YOU. The world doesn't revolve around him. It should be 50/50 in every relationship. 3- You need to determine (maybe through therapy) if you husband is capable of being aroused WITHOUT diapers in the picture. Some guys are simply incapable of being aroused without the object of their fetish in the picture. In those cases, its not a choice - its just the way they are. But it sounds as though your husband has shown that he is capable of having 'normal' sex sometimes (in the missionary position?) Maybe there is a middle ground where you indulge his diaper related desires but also get to have regular sex with him in the same night? You certainly can't base your ENTIRE sex life on dressing up in diapers and going to great lengths to please him every single night without considering your own desires. He needs to be as concerned with YOUR needs every bit as much as YOU are concerned with his. Finally, I would say that it seems strange that you have a 'secret' marriage. Many women would be bothered by that idea. I would find out how long the relationship is to be a 'secret' - and when you 2 can begin living your lives as a normal married couple. You deserve that. If its going to remain a secret for a while, you should set some kind of date for going 'public' with your marriage - marriage is not meant to be a private, secret lifestyle to be lived out only behind closed doors. The idea of a 'secret' marriage strikes me as strange. Your husband is really lucky to have you. Many DLs have wives who aren't willing to participate in their husbands' fetish at all and simply demand that they "give it up" (Many studies show that its virtually impossible to simply 'give up' a sexual desire or fetish - its more or less hardwired into our brains) But, once again, your husband is a VERY lucky man so don't be afraid to stand up for yourself once and a while. Tell him that the lying really bothers you and he needs to always be honest with you to the best of his ability. You've done a lot to satisfy him. But you need to move at your own pace. Good luck.

*farts* Then goes to hide the cigarettes and Beer and clean up a bit

First you must realize that gender is not a dichotomy like many wish to believe it is. Once you accept that then also note that no test can tell you who or what you are, only you can tell yourself that. Ditch the religious ignorance, I mean ignore it completely, if your parents truly love you then they will accept you no matter what choice you make on this matter, if they don't, there is a huge family waiting out in the rest of the world for you. You do not have to sacrifice religion either, just don't let it influence your choices nor allow it to stop you from making yourself happy so long as you harm no one else ... it's all good. Final matter on the religious aspect, no deity of any sort would condemn it's creation for something this silly. As for your self image, do what you think makes you more you, it's simpler than you would think. Anyone who judges you at all for being yourself is not secure in themselves. Japan has a very gender fluid social structure, they regard neutral genders (those shedding all gender identity) as being of higher enlightenment than anyone else. Would be great if the western world would achieve such a grand level of fluidity on the matter. In the US many of those mistaken for "emos" are also of that type, they just shed their gender identity and are often incorrectly assumed to be emo because the style of dress tends to appear the same.

I can understand how you feel about the pain of possibility of losing family. Let's face it when I told everyone me and my family shifted. I had the support of some and the rest..... well lets just say we don't speak often anymore >.> It's not that I don't care about them anymore its more that they will do anything in there power to stop me if possible. BTW took that test thingy and scored a 300 XD

Giggle of the day!

Face palms and shakes head.

Stanley is going to keep doing it as he gets attention and free stuff out of it. He's not in it for the best of the community, and that's his right. I wish him the best but won't be watching this one... for one thing because I find the very title of the show offensive. There's nothing "crazy' about wearing diapers, and it isn't an obsession. They are exploiting an emotionally needy man who likes cameras in his face and production teams giving him new props and playmates.

Never though of it, since I always use soakers, and that issue HAS irritated me - Molicares, Abenas, Dry 24/7s - always are leaking in the crotch before much gets back up into the back. That's why I use boost pads, to direct the wetness up INTO that area. That's why US made diapers are inferior to the same brand coming out of Europe. But, it's what is allowed in the fluff and gel here versus there. I probably would not turn the diaper around, unless I could get my lovely younger bride to make a big deal about diapering me, and make it a sexual thing and all that, because if I want bulk, which, in turning the diaper around, I would go to cloth. Makes sense, the most surface area for absorption is the area that covers the greatest expanse(! - LOL) - the butt - so turning the diaper around would make severely deficient adult disposable diapers work better. Great question. Still NOT gonna' try it or do it. I've got MY OWN ways! LOL

I think this one just a other troll