![[DD] Boards & Chat](https://www.dailydiapers.com/board/uploads/monthly_2021_11/DDweb-02.png.0c06f38ea7c6e581d61ce22dffdea106.png)
 |
 |
Texas
262 topics in this forum
-
- 32 replies
- 4k views
-
- 5 replies
- 1.2k views
-
- 0 replies
- 229 views
-
- 0 replies
- 526 views
-
- 1 reply
- 993 views
-
- 3 replies
- 749 views
-
- 9 replies
- 5.9k views
-
- 0 replies
- 412 views
-
- 1 reply
- 474 views
-
- 1 reply
- 549 views
-
- 0 replies
- 407 views
-
- 1 reply
- 440 views
-
- 0 replies
- 286 views
-
- 1 reply
- 504 views
-
- 4 replies
- 651 views
-
- 7 replies
- 1k views
-
- 0 replies
- 138 views
-
- 2 replies
- 656 views
-
- 1 reply
- 596 views
-
- 0 replies
- 323 views
-
- 0 replies
- 467 views
-
- 0 replies
- 251 views
-
- 1 reply
- 599 views
-
- 3 replies
- 925 views
-
- 26 replies
- 3.2k views
-
Current Donation Goals
-
-
-
Posts
-
Thanks for the comments! 🙂 🙂 Happy to give you a lunchtime treat there then! I wouldn't pity someone like that too much... they would get what they deserve. Thank you for all of the comments! I'm looking forward to sharing the next weekend of the story with you all! 🙂 -
It's a promising story line, but AR is right about the paragraphs. When there is no dialog and a chapter is pitched from a single point of view, the paragraphs can become unmanageable. I broke the one AR references at "the first few sessions," then at "it got better." You could also split it at "I later found out," although this one is negotiable. Just keep in mind that, in general, stories favor short paragraphs, not long ones. You can also tighten up the text and make it flow more freely. For example, "the first few sessions" should read "the first few sessions with Thomas." Then you can delete "which is the name of the therapist," which really makes a mess out of the sentence in which it is lodged. Going forward, you have to decide whether to write from a single point of view, or give other characters such as the parents voices of their own. Since this is your first go at this sort of thing, I'd recommend keeping it simple, at least in the beginning. So, if you want more than one narrative point of view, you could give the next chapter over to the parents, and let them talk it over (dialogue) in the privacy of their bedroom. This would also give you an opportunity to tell us more about them so that they are no longer generic "parents." This opens the doorway, if you choose to go there, to writing later chapters with real interaction between your characters. Writing is fun, but there is a pretty steep learning curve. Don't get discouraged. Keep at it, and you'll master the tricks of the trade in due course. -
Let us not forget those that wake up cheerful and choose to use their powers for evil instead of giving us a stuffy, covering us back up and letting us sleep for another hour. -
By babygamerboy · Posted
Love this chapter. Love Amanda and Mike's reaction to the super cool name to Areo McDerpus. Also love how John had to get everyone attention like a little child for his winning idea, and hope he gets tk be hands on a bit on this project, would be cute to see a handful big tough Bigs and a cute John with a "hard hat" and a soggy diaper checking the shack before Amanda or even one of the workers decides to help get him up to "OSHA standards" with a fresh diaper. Even if everyone else can see, but I am glad he gave them the idea of a shack to save future lost littles from the "Not Nice Cougars" and the "Big Bad Wolves." Also speaking of, love that our bestest boy was ready to protect his favorite little soggy rider from a stranger. Can't wait for John to see that bigger dog and see how Xerxes shows off his best buddy to his doggo friend. As someone who during my first time in diapers was surrounded by big dogs. Always love seeing John and Xerxes play and interact with others bigs or big animals. (Also Zoo episodes/chapters when hehe). Could see John ride his mighty Xerxes and charge against the tyrants that are "morning people" till he has too much coffee milk and picked up blushing as the big mean tyrant has to wipe his messy butt for a fresh diaper. -
-