Ishigreensa

Chapter Four It was becoming my team again…. It was yucky sitting there behind the curtain of one of the little cubicles with my messy pants still pulled up on my hips because the nurse didn’t want to get everything messy or something. We didn’t even live that far from the school, but still it seemed to take Cherise forever to get to the school. Ten minutes passed… twenty minutes… half an hour, I think, and then my body started to do it again. I pushed a little more poop, and then a little more. I guess I wasn’t finished yet when I came down, but I was too scared to come out and tell the nurse, so I just did it some more in my pants… and I peed some more. Finally, I heard Cherise’s voice. “Why am I being called in pick up our daughter not even an hour before school gets out?” “Your child… is a mess,” the nurse told her. “It seems she ignored the teacher when he told the class to use the bathroom, and then decided she couldn’t hold it during a test.” “Honestly? Just because she’s peed her pants? Do you know how often she’s come home with peed in pants?” “Well, no, I don’t know,” the nurse told Cherise. “But I know I’ve had to tell her to change her clothes before because of it. However, this isn’t just pee, or we wouldn’t have bothered you.” “Oh?”, the sounds of them got closer to the cubicle I was in. “I mean, if she just had her little girl thing, I mean, it’s not a big deal….” “Honestly, do you think I’d have called you just for that?” the nurse asked her. “Your daughter had pooped her pants,” and she pulled the curtain back where Cherise was staring at me with narrowed eyes. “She ignored the teacher when the teacher told her to go?” she asked the nurse to confirm what had been said. “That’s right. The teacher’s note to me indicated exactly how this happened.” “Can I see the note?” “Of course.” Cherise walked over and stood over me, looking down at me lying in the bed, the fresh pee all over the bed area and she shook her head. “You are not off to a very good start,” she sternly wagged her finger at me while the nurse left to get the note. “Honestly, pooping your pants at your age, and just because you ignored the teacher when he warned you that you were about to have a test?” “I… I didn’t hear him,” I sniffled. “...Because you were playing around with your friends, obviously.” “No. Robyn sits on the other side of the classroom, and the people I sit around are okay people, but we aren’t close friends or anything. Mr. Sanders had moved all the people I chat with across the room from me since last November!” “Really!” “Cherise, please,” I whispered. “Call me mom at school and in public,” she narrowed her eyes at me. “Your dad expects it, remember?” I nodded. “But it was because of everything from this morning. I haven’t been able to concentrate on anything today.” “So, you are telling me you pooped your pants because of this morning?” “I… um… Maybe?” “Samantha, that is very immature of you. You are not the only one that is having a hard time, but you are the only one pooping her pants!” “I… I’m sorry,” I sniffled. “Well, I am too,” Cherise sighed and helped me get up. “Because there is nothing we can do about it here. You need a bath, and there is no way I’m pulling your pants off you here when there is no way to clean you up.” “I… I can do it.” “And what would you wear?” I looked up at her frowning. “You didn’t think I’d let you put clean clothes on a dirty poopy body, did you?” “I guess not?” “No. You’ll have to wear those messy things until we get you home. Luckily, we don’t live that far away.” The nurse came back and showed her the note. “It’s okay. I don’t need to read it,” Cherise told the nurse. “I believe you and the teacher. This isn’t the first time she’s been irresponsible about her body or other things.” She now grabbed my hand. “I’ll just take her home, now.” “Like that?” “Well, it’s not like you have a shower here she can use to clean up, or you wouldn’t have needed to call me,” Cherise looked the nurse in the eye. “Besides, her walking home like this might teach her a lesson about listening to her body and the teacher in the future.” The nurse frowned. “I suppose.” Cherise led me shamefully out past all the other kids, maybe three of them in the nurse’s office with my shame shifting around my butt in my panties and the soaked pee still dripping on the floor as I walked. Then out into the hall where I passed by maybe four other kids and outside. “Where’s the car?” I asked Cherise. “The car? Did you think I was going to waste gas just to come around the corner to get you? I had no idea you’d pooped your pants! Sure, I suspected you might have peed them since the nurse called, but poop them? Honestly, Samantha.” I felt my shoulders rise as though I wanted my head to sink down into my body and out of sight as she talked to me. “It’s about time you were taken better care of, I admit,” she pulled me closer and hugged my shoulder to her. “Obviously, you don’t know how to be a big girl yet, so now I understand why your daddy wants me to check you from now on. I honestly didn’t think I’d be checking for poop though.” “I… I’m sorry.” “It’s okay, Samantha. You are having trouble being a big girl, and I guess now I think about it, it does make sense. Maybe we have been pushing too much responsibility on you lately.” “You haven’t,” I whined not wanting them to take my freedom away. “I… I can still play soccer, can’t I?” “Of course, baby. Soccer has nothing to do with you growing up or taking care of yourself. I wouldn’t take that away from you.” “I have to be at tryouts today or I won’t get to play this year.” “You can go to tryouts, honey.” “I was going to get a ride with Robyn, but now I’m home, I can’t do that.” “Well, if you shush your fussing, and let me get you cleaned up, then I’ll take you, sweetheart.” “You will?” I was really surprised. She had never even seen one game in the past, so I kind of doubted she knew where the field was. “You practice at Calumet Park, don’t you?” “Yeah.” “I’ll get you there, sweetie.” We walked into the house, and she took me straight back, not to my usual bathroom, but to the bathroom that usually only Cherise and Daddy used. “Sit on the toilet,” she told me, so I started to unbutton my pants. “No, Sam. You’ll get it everywhere. Just sit.” “Oh, I thought you wanted me to try to get the rest out.” “I do, but you are already wet, so finishing in your pants isn’t going to hurt anything.” I blushed. “Do I have to?” “You had no problem pooping them in class, Samantha. It’s just you and me now, so I don’t see why you are so worried about it going in your pants now. Just do it.” I frowned, my face heating up even more and tears coming to my eyes. “I… I didn’t want to do it in class. I asked the teacher, honest.” “Only after the test had started, and he had given you warnings twice that you were about to have a test,” Cherise reminded me. “Whatever reasons you had, you still pooped yourself in front of everyone so you can pee yourself in front of me.” I looked down, and very meekly and nearly whispering… “Okay.” She had started the bath water. “I found out what smelled in your bedroom earlier,” she said as she came back towards me, and started to unbutton my pants as I sat on the toilet. “Do you want to tell me what I found?” I hung my head. “I don’t know. Honest.” “You had some peed in clothes in your laundry basket that you hadn’t washed yet, and not just one set. Samantha, you need to get those washed out as soon as you can when you get home or if you are able, as soon as you’ve finished peeing your pants.” “But… I washed my clothes.” “Then you must have forgotten about those ones. You had two pair of wet jeans and several pair of wet panties and one night shirt that was soaked.” I looked down. “They were hidden in your closet under some things, like you were trying to hide it.” “Oh,” I blushed. That must have been when I started to pee and I was scared until daddy caught me and told me I could just clean it up when I peed. But then… that must have at least two or three months ago or something, the last time I hid anything. “Um… that must have been before daddy gave me permission to just clean it up when I peed my pants,” I again nearly whispered it because of the shame. “So, it was when you were scared of us knowing you peed your pants? I mean, honestly, I knew you were peeing your pants for at least the last year and a half.” I felt my jaw drop. I thought I had hidden it. “Your daddy might have not been in the house often enough to realize what was going on, but who has been getting you up in the mornings since I got here, young lady?” “You?” “That’s right. You don’t think I didn’t smell the wet sheets or saw the extra laundry that started to get washed over the last year and a half?” “Oh, um… okay. But you never said anything.” “It wasn’t my place, baby. Your dad might have scolded me for not mommying you lately, but to be honest, I wasn’t sure how far I should go with that before now because I could see that you acted independent, and he had never really said anything about it before this morning.” I felt her help me stand as she slid my pants down my legs and drop them on the floor and then pulled my panties off and emptied the mess in them into the toilet before putting them on the jeans. “I’ll clean up your clothes this time,” Cherise told me. “That’s my job now, not yours.” I frowned. “Okay.” Before I knew it, I was being taken to tryouts, and I’d probably actually get there sooner than Robyn since somehow, we ended up starting out for Calumet park before school even got out. I hated pooping my pants, but honestly, the school had a strict rule about going to the bathroom during tests, and it seemed normal enough. Cherise had easily agreed with the school, that since the teacher tried to warn us ten minutes before the test so we could ask and go before it, that it was our fault if we peed. I also realized, had I went to the bathroom during the test, when I first wanted, I’d have gotten nearly a zero, but since I did poop my pants, I did finish the whole test…. I ran to the coach’s main office, and knocked on the door. “Oh, there she is,” Coach Sook looked down at me with a smile. “You seem to be quite early.” “Yeah. Do you know who you are going to make the captain of the team yet?” She smiled. “It is only the second day of tryouts, Samantha. I know you are used to just being the defacto captain for the last three years, but honestly, I am trying to size everyone up before I make that decision.” “Yeah, that makes sense. I was just wondering. I do have a plan to to try to shape the team up though a bit and make us all take it more serious this year.” “I see. Do you want to share your plan with me?” “Not yet. I’m still trying to work it out in writing so it is clear before I share it with anyone.” “Are you aware of the captain’s place on the team?” “Yeah. The captain encourages the other players to do their best, and if she notices something weak with our work, she goes to the coach or someone to help, and tells them what she sees.” “Not exactly,” Coach Sook frowns. “Look, I won’t be deciding who the captain is until we start the preseason. Right now, we are having tryouts, so your only concern right now, should be doing all you can to make the team. You can’t think you automatically get a spot just because you were the captain last year.” “Okay. But I really was the best choice the last three years, I promise.” “I’m sure you were, or you would have been replaced.” I sighed and skipped away from the coach’s office. Yeah, it didn’t hurt to see where you stood with the coach, and it looked like this coach was going to make me prove myself to be the captain. That’s okay. I knew I was the best person for it, so all I had to do, was show her. I walked over to the parking lot and waited a bit before I first saw Robyn’s car pull up, and then I saw Grandma’s car. I walked straight to Grandma’s car. A city bus pulled into the parking lot, off to one side, and I wouldn’t have really noticed it, except I saw a little black girl that had been at tryouts the day before, and I also saw Jessica and Aviva coming from the same bus. I got Mazal from the car and then I skipped holding her hand towards the three girls that were coming from the bus. “Why are you guys taking the bus?” I asked. The black girl, Stephanie smiled. “Well, we don’t all have cars, you know.” “Yeah, I suppose we don’t,” I looked down now realizing that somehow, these three had to have the smarts to get a bus to get to tryouts and then get the bus home. I did take the bus sometimes, but I would never trust the bus to get me somewhere on time. Maybe I needed to add to my list of behaviors, setting up rides for those that don’t have rides so they are not depending on something that is so easy to miss or to have trouble on. “Anyway, Jessica, you need to come and talk to me along with Mazal.” “Can I come along?” Aviva asked. She had on a stained shirt and her pants had some holes in them and not in a cool way. I didn’t mind that, though. I knew that Medfield was a club for a lot of the poorest in Chicago. “I guess,” I told her. “But if you come along and listen in, you’ll have to do everything the others are doing, and I promise, it’s not going to be easy. Are you sure you want to be involved in something where you might not have control or say over something?” Aviva shrugged. “I just kind of wanted…,” but she blushed and broke off. “I didn’t mean to scare you. Of course you can be included. I just meant to warn you, that I am going to be helping these girls stay on the team, and the way I’m doing it, means they have to do things they don’t really want to do.” “Oh, okay. Can I still see what you are doing?” “Only if you promise to do it, too.” “I will,” Stephanie smiled confidently. “I… I mean, if everyone else is doing it, then I guess I can do it,” Aviva shuffled a foot. “Good,” I put a hand on her shoulder. “We have to find Valerie next.” When I saw Valerie, she had her arms around Breanna, the girl that didn’t listen to anything that she was told to do the day before. “Valerie? What’s going on?” “This is my friend, Breanna. I told her that you were going to help and make sure I stayed on the team, and I told her you might be able to help her stay on the team, too.” I frowned. “She doesn’t even speak English.” “I can talk to her for you though, and tell you what she says.” “I don’t know…. She was pretty selfish yesterday, and didn’t pass the ball. I’m not sure she’d be a good fit for the team.” Valerie took a moment to talk to Breanna, and then she told me what Breanna said. “My family has followed soccer for years. I know everything about it, and my family talks about strategy all the time. The reason I didn’t pass yesterday, is because you and the other girl were in the wrong place and the ball would have easily been taken from you.” I shook my head. “She walked into a trap, Valerie. She had the ball stolen immediately from her, and anyone with half a brain could see that was going to happen.” They talked for another minute and then Valerie translated again. “I made a miscalculation on one of the other girls. She left her zone, and that’s why she got the ball, but that’s not a good thing to do.” I shook my head. “Well, Breanna will have to follow the same rules everyone else is doing today for tryouts, and she needs to try to be more open to passing the ball today, otherwise, I will not be helping her stay on the team. We don’t need a ball hog on the team.” They talked for a few more minutes, and it looked like Valerie was trying to convince the little darker Mexican girl before she finally folded her arms and gave in. “She’s in,” Valerie said. “She’s not happy that you don’t see her logic, but she said she’ll do what you say on the rules, but if she sees a fault, she’s not passing the ball that way.” I frowned. “Well, how about we see if she gets the ball stolen again by not following the advice of others, and if it keeps happening, then I’m going to stop helping her.” I started with Mazal. “What are you going to do today, Mazal?” I asked her. “Um… you mean pee my pants on purpose?” “Yeah. Because if you are going to make the team, you can’t miss instruction from the coach, and it’s not good to leave the field except during breaks anyway.” Aviva frowned. “Wait, are you telling all of us to pee our pants?” “What I am telling you to do,” I said clearly. “Is that you are not to ask to leave the field expect during break time. My Auntie has trouble holding it, so she was told to pee her pants. Jessica and Valerie also have issues, so they will wet their pants today, too, right?” I looked at them. They both nodded. “As for you and Breanna, I just don’t want you leaving the field. If you can not leave the field, but keep your pants dry, then that’s okay, but don’t let holding it cause you to get distracted. If it gets bad enough it distracts you… then you’ll have to do it.” Aviva frowned. “What about me?” Stephanie asked. “Um… I don’t know…,” I said a little unsure. My dad could be really racist sometimes, and so could stepmom, even more so, so I wasn’t sure if they had told me facts about Black people, or if they were just being racist. I didn’t want to offend Stephanie, though. I was smart enough to know that a lot of things dad said was wrong. “Um… same rules as Aviva and Breanna,” I told her. “You don’t have to wet if it doesn’t distract you when you are on the field, but no bathrooms during practice and tryouts time.” “Okay. What happens if we pee our pants, though?” Stephanie asked. “Well, hopefully, you do it discreetly so no one really notices, and then actually nothing. I will want to meet after tryouts though to first find out if you did pee and to give you pointers if I see anything that could help you stay on the team by improving it.” “I guess that’s fair,” Stephanie said. “But check us to see if we peed? Like ask us?” “Yeah, I’ll just ask you and Aviva and have Valerie ask Breanna. The others though, have to prove they did it because they are supposed to wet their pants.” “How is it going to help us stay on the team if we pee our pants?” Aviva asked her face fallen a little as though she was sad about what was being said. “Not leaving the field is important,” I told her. “This year, we have stricter rules, and you cannot substitute out and then back in again. That’s the rule. And if you can’t manage yourself in practice time, then you’ll get distracted when we are competing, and last year, the team was having a lot of trouble focusing, so we had our worst season ever. I’m going to be fixing that this year.” “So you are the captain, again?” Aviva asked crossing her arms. “Yeah,” I said with confidence that I knew what I was doing and the coach would see it. “And since she’s the captain, she is the best one to help us stay on the team,” Jessica told Aviva and Stephanie. Valerie translated to Breanna. “Breanna says she’ll pee her pants if she has to go bad enough,” Valerie said. “But she’s still not sure about your strategies. She says her family always talks about strategies.” “You know what?” I looked at Valerie. “If Breanna actually pees her pants during all the tryouts, and she tries to improve with the advice I give her in other areas, then I’ll sit down in a circle with the three of us, and discuss her strategies because if she has some good ideas, I think it would be worth listening to at the very least. But if she isn’t willing to do what I say, then I won’t think much of her suggestions either.” Valerie and Breanna talked a little more. “You will actually listen to Breanna?” Valerie asked me. “If she wets her pants and does what I ask of her…. I am sure she knows some stuff about the game if she is that much of a follower of the game.” They talked a little more. “Breanna says she’ll try to wet her pants, but this is the first time anyone has told her to do it, so it might be hard,” Valerie told me. “How can she prove to you she’s trying if it doesn’t come out?” “After the tryouts, if she didn’t leave the field the whole time, not even during break, then she should have to go after we are done. I’ll take her to the bathroom and let her pee in just her panties in the toilet, and if she does that, then it’s proof enough she is trying. But she will have to learn to pee herself so she isn’t distracted during a game.” They talked that over, and finally there was agreement. “You were too close to the center of the field yesterday,” Valerie translated for Breanna. “You were out of place, and it made it easier for their defenders to cover both you and Heidi at the same time. That’s why I didn’t pass to you.” “I know I was a little out of place, but that was so I could get closer to you so it wouldn’t be as hard to pass to me.” “You would have been in Heidi’s way though, and you would have made it easy for them to defend against you. As it was, the defenders had to get out of position to take the ball from me, and had they missed, and if you were in the right place, you would have had a clear goal.” I frowned. “I see. Well, we can talk about that a little more later. We need to get to the field because it’s time.” Coach Sook started out running us through some drills again, having us practice control of the ball and passing the ball between each other. While this was the most boring part of the practice, it was necessary. I noticed that Michelle, the coach’s niece, was having some trouble with control, so I ran over to her, and with the ball I had, I started to try to demonstrate to her how to do it. “Michelle, wait. You are leaving the ball too open and the reason it keeps getting away from you is you are not balancing its space with your position. Like this.” She looked up at me, and then I smiled. “Come on,” I told her. “You can do it. It’s not that hard.” She started to follow me and we practiced until we were called to do something else. Of course, I knew very well she was the coach’s niece, and my motives for showing her how to stay on the team was not fully selfless. “Excuse me,” Michelle frowned while I was working with her. “I’m going to go to the toilet.” “During field time?” I frowned at her. “If you go, then you are on your own. I’m not helping people that decide not to take practice time seriously.” “What are you talking about? I’m just going to the toilet!” “During practice time?! You realize during a game, you can’t just leave the field, don’t you?” “Yeah, but….” “Well, like I said, you can go, but don’t expect any help after this if you are going to leave practice time so easily.” “I… er….” I was sure she knew that she wasn’t going to have a chance of staying on the team without my help even if her aunt was the coach. Sure, her aunt could just put her on the team, but then she would not have anyone’s respect. “What am I supposed to do? I can’t hold it,” Michelle sounded sour. “What do you think everyone else does during a game if they can’t hold it, and they are on the field?” “I don’t know.” “You don’t?” I asked. “Then I’ll spell it out! They secretly go a little bit when no one is looking, and by the end of the game, they’ve peed, but don’t let on and no one cares.” “Are you sure about that?” “How many years have you played soccer?” I demanded of her. “This is my first year.” “I’ve been playing since I was five, and I’ve been captain of the team for the last three years, and I plan on being the captain this year, too. I know what I’m talking about, so you either do as you are told, or I’m not going to help you.” “So… I have to…” “Yes. If you want my help…. I am not going to waste my time with someone that doesn’t care about improving.” Suddenly a dark spot appeared around her crotch, and she looked down her face red as she started to pee all the way through her clothes. “Good,” I put a hand on her shoulder. “Now, let’s practice control of the ball again. Don’t worry about it. If you don’t draw attention to it, no one will really care.” Eventually, the coach had us working on drills to practice different positions on the team again. Of course, I wanted to be a wing again this year, but I listened to the coach and played Attacking Midfield, Midfield, and Defensive Midfield for the coach’s sake, but I was sure she could see I was more valuable being up front with the attackers. We had a little six on six scrimmage and then a nine on nine scrimmage. It was when I noticed that when we went nine on nine, that it was apparent that no one would really be let go from the tryouts. If the coach let even one of us go, we wouldn’t have enough players to qualify. Of course, I didn’t say anything about that. Some of the others on my team, like Robyn would probably realize that easily, but I knew that Jessica had no idea of how many were supposed to be on a team, so I could still control her, Valerie because Valerie was loyal to me, and Mazal because Mazal had no idea, and she was also on the team to have something to do with me. Michelle probably knew though, so I wondered if she was going to test me and not follow the rules after today. Stephanie and Aviva, I had no idea of what they knew, and Breanna, if she had been following soccer as much as she claimed, I doubted she’d take me serious after this. I had to just grit my teeth and find some other way to convince them that it was important not to be leaving the field during practice just like they can’t leave during a game. Heidi, it was clear, had no reason to listen to me at all. She was already pretty good. She still had not gotten a shot by Natsuki by the end of the practice session on this day, but she had taken plenty of shots that if it were not Natsuki guarding, would have easily gone into the goal. I decided I wouldn’t even approach her at the moment because though I still wanted her to improve, I wasn’t so sure I could show her something that she didn’t already know. The time for tryouts started to wrap up, and at the end, more girls than I had been expecting came and met with me. “I saw you working with Michelle,” this short little girl from the Middle East said in a thick accent that made it so I could barely understand her only if I was paying direct attention to her. “You seem to know more about teaching us than the coach.” “My Aunt only started coaching this year,” Michelle was there. “She just thought it would be fun to do something together with me, and the club seemed so desperate, that even though she only put in for an assistant position, they let her coach our age group with one assistant of her own.” I frowned. “So, she probably doesn’t even know what she is doing?” I asked Michelle. “Well, she knows a thing or two or she wouldn’t be head coach while Mr. Davis is her assistant.” “Alright,” I waved a hand. “So all of you who are meeting here, you’ve all heard I’m helping those that want to stay on the team to improve?” Tava was there, though. “Or we believe in you, and want to help you make the team better this year.” “Tava!” I smiled. “I thought you had to go straight home after practices.” “Well, this is important, so if mom can’t wait a few minutes, then I’ll just get scolded. This is important.” “Cool.” There were still a handful of hold outs who either hadn’t noticed or cared that I was trying to improve the team, but I’d work with what I had. “I… I peed,” Valerie admitted to everyone and turned and showed her butt to me. “I squatted down away from everyone where I could still hear the coach.” I smiled. “Very well, Valerie. I knew you could do it.” I had no doubt Mazal could do it, and Jessica hadn’t said anything, but I could see the wetness between her legs. “How many of you peed your pants?” I asked everyone. “Raise your hands,” and of course, I raised my hand, too, which got Michelle and Breanna to look at me with confusion. Breanna had not raised her hand, but when she saw my hand up she looked down. Aviva looked down too, because she hadn’t done it either. I told them they didn’t have to though if they didn’t leave practice. “Did anyone leave the field while we were on the field with practice, drills, and scrimmages?” I then asked for raised hands. Olivia raised her hand. “But I asked the coach first.” “It doesn’t matter, Olivia.” said softly trying not to sound like I was scolding her. “We had a terrible season last year, and the only way to improve that, is to improve our team by taking practice and game time seriously.” “So, what as I supposed to do?” “Look around, Olivia. What did Valerie, Jessica, and even the coach’s niece, Michelle do?” She looked down. “Oh, um… okay.” “Alright, girls, unless I have a word with you and tell you that you need to pee your pants because I know you can’t help it, the rule is you try to go before it is time for tryouts tomorrow, and if you can wait, you go after tryouts or during break, but if you can’t hold it, you pee your pants. As you can see, I’m not asking you to do something I won’t do. I’ve peed my pants, too.” The girls all nodded. “The girls I expect to be wet tomorrow after tryouts are going to be Jessica, Valerie, Mazal, Michelle because you were going to ask to leave the field before I stopped you, and Olivia because you left the field.” “But…,” Olivia frowned. “I didn’t even know your rules. Please. I’ll follow them, I just didn’t know.” I thought a moment. “If I let you off, then I have to let everyone else off who showed they were unable to control themselves,” I told her. “If I keep letting everyone off, how is everyone going to learn to take this serious?” “Just this once. Let all of us start with a clean slate just this once, and let all of us have the same rule. Please? Now we know your rules, we have to hold it tomorrow or pee our pants. Please? And if we leave the field, then you can make us do whatever?” I shook my head. “You can come to me dry, tomorrow, Olivia. But if you do, then you will have to have a long talk with me about your priorities. That is the best I can do, and this goes for anyone that I told to pee their pants and comes back dry tomorrow. Anyone who doesn’t have to wet tomorrow better not leave the field, or you will have to have the same talk.” I could tell no one was happy about my final decision, so I frowned and called out. “You can go home. You have tonight to think about if you really belong on this team. We will not have a season like last season, though. I will do everything I can to fix that this season!” As everyone parted for their homes, and I had told Cherise that I’d get a ride with Robyn when she dropped me off because it was normal and daddy can’t fault her for me wanting to ride home with a friend, I was able to get in the car with Robyn. Robyn had been at our meeting, too. Of course, I had not needed to talk to her. She didn’t leave the field so she wasn’t required to pee her pants. When we were in her car, and had sat in the way back of their minivan, we started to quietly talk. “Samantha, I don’t really think it’s a good idea to control people the way you are especially with bathroom rights.” “Bathroom privileges,” I corrected her. “School does it. Mr. Sanders even made me poop my pants today because of a test.” “You are not an adult or a teacher, though.” “I’m the captain of the team,” I told her. “Not yet, you aren’t. You were last year, but that’s no guarantee….” “I don’t care what Coach Sook says. If she puts her own niece in charge, believe me, I plan on pointing out how everyone needs work. Besides, Michelle had not agreed to anything before I went over to help her today. Why do you think I did that?” “You think her niece will put in a good word for you to be captain?” “Why wouldn’t she if she believes I helped her stay on the team?” “Samantha, we barely have enough people at tryouts. Everyone is going to be on the team.” “She doesn’t know that, does she? And if she does, then she didn’t let on because she’s following the rules, and hasn’t said anything.” “I… that’s not right. You shouldn’t tell everyone that you are helping them stay on the team when you know that everyone has to be kept.” “So…, you are going to tell everyone the rule?” “No,” she sat back and pouted. “But it’s not right.” “Look, do you want a season like last year?” “No.” “We have to motivate the others into taking it serious,” I told her. “When the team members are told they are all going to be on the team, on Monday, I’m going to ask everyone that wants to improve, to talk to me after the practice.” Then I showed her the paper I was working on. “You are going to require what?” she asked as she read the attendance. “I don’t know if everyone can get to the field ten minutes early or wait fifteen minutes after. Tava, you know, has a very strict family, and her school is clear across town plus it gets out later than most of our schools.” “She’ll figure it out,” I crossed my arms. “Those that follow me will find that they get to play more than the others because they are going to be improving while the others that don’t care, will just barely be on the team.” Robyn shook her head. “And you are going to make everyone do extra practice at least twice a month in groups under leaders that you assign? What makes you qualified to decide the leaders?” “Who’s been on the team since the beginning and has seen who are weak, and who can pass on skills to the others to help them improve?” I demanded. She had no comeback, it seemed, so she was quiet as she read on. “And… you expect everyone to eventually follow the policy that no one goes to the bathroom during practice?” “They can go during break time, of course,” I frowned. “But field time is for learning and not for doing whatever you want.” “We want?” “Yes, whatever you want. Several girls showed that if they discipline themselves, they can control when or where they go potty, even doing it in their pants if they have to. I have no doubt everyone can do the same. They do have a choice to go outside of field time, so if they go in their pants, it’s their fault just like when the teacher told me it was my fault I pooped my pants today.” Robyn frowned. “He shouldn’t have done that.” “Why? He was right, wasn’t he? Or did he lie about telling everyone ten minutes before he gave the test that it was coming?” “No, he did tell us.” “I didn’t hear him, so it was my own fault, and he did say I could go… only I’d get a zero on the test because I had only barely started on it before I couldn’t hold it.” Robyn shook her head and sat back. “Whatever. I’m sure my parents would have a word or two to say to him if he caused me to do that no matter what the circumstances.” “But you didn’t pee your pants, today, did you?” “No.” “Because you were focused on what you should have been. I… I had things on my mind, so I was zoning out a lot. It was my fault, so I don’t blame him at all.” She sighed. “And just like he has his rules about test and classroom stuff, I am going to have rules on our team to get us all to improve. We can’t improve if we don’t take this serious.” “I still think you are way overboard, and requiring certain girls to just pee their pants without even getting a chance to just hold it…. That seems really unfair.” “Well, they will get a chance to get their holding it privileges back, when they understand the reason for the rules and start taking practice serious.” “If you say so….” We rode along deep in our own thoughts after that, until her mom dropped me at my front door. “See you tomorrow,” touched Robyn’s hand. “Yeah, see you, Sam.”

Chapter Three: Uh oh! “I have to go out of town,” he had said after I was given a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast. “You know how important these meetings are…,” he glanced at both of us. “And…,” he interrupted the parted lips of Cherise because he wasn’t done talking. “...And, I’m aware of your little arrangement when I go out of town, and I do not approve of it.” Cherise frowned at him while I looked up in surprise knowing Cherise would have been the last person to tell him about it since she really didn’t want to see me at all, when she could help it. “You are supposed to be Samantha’s mother,” he barked at Cherise causing her to jump. “Didn’t you promise when you moved in, you’d take care of her just like she was your own little girl? I don’t know any other ten year old children that….” “Twelve!” Cherise corrected him. “...TEN year old children,” he talked over her. “… that take care of their own laundry, make their own dinners, or have to solve all of their school problems all by themselves all the time.” “I… I’m twelve,” I reminded daddy. “Honey, she’s been doing this to you for the last three years, hasn’t she? When I go out of town, you go to your friends’ houses and stay the night with them taking turns with different friends until I get back home?” I looked down. I didn’t correct him that he wasn’t much better in leaving things for me to do on my own all the time. “So help me, Cherise, if I come back from the trip this time, and I even catch wind she’s had to clean up her own wet bedding or has to even make a single bowl of cereal for breakfast, I will seriously rethink our relationship.” Cherise’s jaw dropped as though he had slapped her. “But you…,” Cherise started to argue. “...Am doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I bring in the money, and I give you both plenty of money to take care of things you need when they come up. If you think someone else will give you half as much as you get from me, then you are free to leave right now, and I’ll just send Sam to my mother’s house where I know she’ll be taken care of.” “I… I’ll do it,” Cherise lowered her head as she responded in a nearly inaudible meek tone. “And as for you,” he turned on me. “You could make it easier for Cherise around here. I get that she’s not your mother, but when she’s in charge of babysitting you, I still expect you to follow her rules.” He handed Cherise a thin pink belt that looked like it was made more from plastic than leather. “If you don’t follow the rules, she will have this,” he warned me. “You will not strike her more than three times and …,” and he got up and pulled me over towards her and marked with his finger drawing a line from my lower back down to the midpoint on my thighs. “… It must land between these points, only. I will be checking my daughter over when I get back, and if there is any redness whatsoever anywhere else on her body, it better be explained by her as a soccer accident, and I will ask her one on one so you can’t intimidate her, got it?” Cherise gulped wrapping and unwrapping the belt around her hand. “You don’t like Cherise very much, I get it,” daddy frowned at me. “But there are worse people out there, and believe me, if I find out you lied about Cherise hitting you when you didn’t deserve it, or if you lie about where the belt hit you, I will find a much more strict person that will sit you next time. You understand me, young lady?” I nodded. “Good. Now you both understand what I expect, I want to hear how Cherise was a loving sitter when I get back, and how Samantha did her best to stay out of trouble,” and he pulled me in to hug me. “And when Samantha comes home this afternoon, you will check her and change her wet clothes, just like she was your own little child,” daddy said one last time before he hugged Cherise. Then he started to walk to the living room door, but before he went out the door, he turned back and smiled in our direction. “I know you two will find a way to make this work and let Cherise take full care of my little Sammy. And when I hear what a good girl Sammy has been, then daddy will probably have a present when I get back for her.” Then he walked out the door closing it behind him so that Cherise and I looked at each other blinking for several minutes. “Your dad is right,” Cherise silently whispered to me. “I’ve been a horrible mother to you, and I did promise to take care of you when I married him.” “I mean… I never wanted you to be my mom,” I frowned at her. “Honey, I know,” she frowned. “But maybe we can make a truce, and you can just view me as a babysitter until he gets back. When he gets distracted by me again, then things will probably go back to normal, right?” I looked down. “Maybe.” “Well, first thing is first. If I’m going to have to act like your mother for a few days, then you are not going to school like that.” “Like what?” “Your hair is messy, you smell, and that shirt… is better suited as a high school fashion statement.” “I’m in ….” “Sixth grade,” she frowned at me. “You will start the school’s middle school program next year, I know. But you are still a baby, so that shirt is not appropriate for school.” “I… I always wear….” “Because I’ve never treated you like my own kid,” she reminded me. “Now, we both don’t want daddy coming come upset because we didn’t follow his rules, do we?” I shook my head. “Good. Because I’m hoping I won’t actually need this,” she put the belt up in a drawer. “Yes, I let you see where I’m putting it, because I’m trusting you won’t touch it because I won’t need it.” I sighed. “Okay, whatever.” “Now, you get in the bathroom and take a shower.” “I didn’t even pee the bed.” “But your bed smells because no one has really cleaned it up properly in a while.” “I wash my sheets all the time,” I started to tear up at her suggesting I wasn’t doing it. “Honey, you are twelve years old. I know you put your sheets in the wash. There’s a lot more to cleaning up a bed that’s been peed in though, baby.” I looked down. “Now go take a bath.” “I’ll be late.” “Then you’ll be late. I walk you to school and let them know it wasn’t your fault this morning.” “Dad doesn’t really care if I go to school though. I mean, he doesn’t say anything when I sleep in, usually.” “And how many times have you missed school?” “I think twice since September?” “Well, that’s not that big of a concern, but you did get him to give you a note, didn’t you?” “I forgot the first time, so he was called into the school. I won’t make that mistake again. But the second time, it was his idea and he gave me the note.” “Well, two days isn’t like a habit or anything, Sammy, but if you missed a lot, believe me, your dad would care because the school would be getting on him about it.” I shrugged. “Go get your bath, baby. And just leave your dirty clothes on the floor this time. I have to do some laundry if I’m going to clean up your room like your dad wants.” “Wait! I can do my own room!” “I’m sorry, baby, but like I told you. Your bedding needs to be cleaned up better, and I need to see where else the smell is coming from because yesterday, it definitely smelled worse than in a long time, and I’m pretty sure it’s not just because you peed the bed again.” I frowned looking down. “It’s okay, honey. Your dad wants me to treat you like a little girl, so that’s what I’m going to do. He said ten year old kids don’t do their own laundry, so….” “You… you aren’t going to baby me like I belong in elementary school!” “We are going to play it by ear, Sam. But ten, eleven, or twelve, I need to find out where that smell was coming from, so I will be picking up and washing everything in your room until I find it.” “What if I just go get it?” “You know what the smell is, then?” “Um…, I’m not sure,” I bit my lower lip. I mean, I had had an accident at school and tried to hide it when I got home. Maybe that’s what she smelled, but then I thought I washed it the next morning, but yeah, she woke me up before I started the laundry, so…. If I just find something that was stained, maybe she would let it go? “Look, Sammy, I’m not trying to get in your way or into your personal space. I don’t know why you told him about our arrangement….” “I didn’t,” I glared up at her. “Do you think I wanted you in my business?” “Maybe you didn’t know he’d insist on you staying home and being taken care of when you told him?” “I was happy going to my friends,” I looked squarely into her eyes. “I had no reason to tell him about it.” “Well, someone told him, and if you didn’t, then all I can say is whether you believe me or not….” “I already know you didn’t tell him,” I blurted at her. “You would lose your freedom to do whatever you do when I’m not home, if he made me stay home, and I knew you’d know that.” “Well, someone must have told.” “Does it matter who told? We are stuck this time.” “It matters, Sam, because if we know who it was, then you can skip going to that house the next time he takes a trip.” I shook my head. “You don’t know my dad very well if you think he’s not asking my friends’ parents about it from now on. He has it in his head, and we are just going to have to do what he says until he forgets that you are supposed to be there for me. Don’t worry, he will sooner than you think.” “I know how your dad works,” Cherise frowned at me. “I’ve been manipulating people since before you were born.” I scowled. That as pretty much an admission that she had been using my dad at the very least, even if she hadn’t mentioned for his money yet. “Now please go get a bath. If I have to tell you again, I’ll have to give your butt a swat.” I shook my head. I didn’t really want Cherise to do this now. For several years, she had neglected to be anything like a mom, and the fact that my own real mom left me and my dad before… left a sour taste for the word mom in my mouth anyway. I stomped down the hall behind the living room wall, past my bedroom and into the bathroom to take a bath. Sure, I didn’t want anyone to smell anything that connected me to the sometimes embarrassing things that happened at night to my body, but the fact that Cherise told me to take the bath… that was a thorn in my lion’s paw. “She doesn’t even care that it happens,” I murmured as I shut the bathroom door a bit harder than I intended and then locked it to keep Cherise out… or at least, to make her work at it to get in. She could easily pick the lock as she had done countless other times when I was trying to use the bathroom as a place to take some space away from her. “She’s just doing this because dad probably really will throw her out if she doesn’t do what he told her, not that I’d tell on her if she just left me be….” I started the bath water and then stripped my clothes off. She did say to just leave them on the floor, so that’s what I did. Wait, was that some pee in my panties? Why didn’t I notice that earlier? I got in and started to wash my fair body and golden blond hair. I was shamefully led by the hand into the office by Cherise, and felt like everyone that was there was laughing on the inside at the twelve year old that couldn’t walk herself to school just because she was a little late. I couldn’t lift my head to even see what kids were there to see this happen. “We had a late start this morning and quite an emotional situation come up, so I’m bringing her in to let you know, that she wasn’t just avoiding school, but that this was more my fault than hers, that she’s late.” The office lady smiled up at Cherise and made some clickity-clacking finger taps on her computer keyboard. “All right, that’s all set up then. You know where your class is?” the office lady asked me. “Yeah,” I said aloud as I thought to myself, “I’m not two….” When I took a seat in the classroom, and looked across the room at Robyn, she smiled and waved at me like she always did. Now, Robyn had two brothers, both parents, and even a semi-religious mother, but she still went to school in stuff that was a lot more risque than I did, and this morning, I felt like a second grader! I had on a green tshirt with the logo of a hound sniffing at the viewer and a caption: “Do you want to be Friends?” on it. I had a pair of pink slacks that had no holes in them at all, and that seemed to come halfway up my stomach. I felt so… sheepish, as I nervously walked across the head of the room past the blackboard to take my seat. “You have a pass?” the teacher asked me a moment after I was settled. I held up the green paper. “Sorry, I’m late.” At recess, Robyn was finally come and find out my version of everything that happened…. “So, dad wakes me up this morning,” I started as Robyn and I are somewhat hidden from the rest of the field, and technically in an area students were not allowed. “And he says he’s going out of town….” I had paused long enough for Robyn to ask her usual first question. “Did you already make arrangements for tonight with someone, or shall I…,” but I cut her off. “No. Daddy is on to me not staying at the house when he’s gone. He told me I had to come home and stay at home everyday while he’s on his trip, and what’s more, he told both Cherise and me, that Cherise has to act more like my mom.” Robyn frowned. “I mean…. That doesn’t seem like it’s going to go well.” “I know it’s not. Cherise forced me to take another shower this morning which is why I’m late, and she’s told me she’s going to go through my room while I’m at school, and there’s nothing I can do about it.” “That really sucks!” “Exactly.” “Has she yelled at your this morning?” “Not really. She just told me she’s going to go through my room, and says I don’t clean up my stuff good enough.” Robyn reached out and held my hand. “Well, there isn’t a lot we can do when big people take control, but maybe I can come over and talk to her? I’ve been able to smooth things over before.” “No. If she doesn’t do these things, dad is going to kick her out. He said so, and he basically said if I did anything like lie about her doing something or implied if I did anything to make it harder, I’d be in real trouble when he gets home.” Robyn sighed. “I don’t really know how to help, then….” “I didn’t expect that. I’m just glad you are here to listen. I’m scared to tell anyone else.” “Well, you can talk to me all you want about how things are at home. I won’t tell anyone that will get back to your dad.” “That means your parents, too,” I looked up at her. “I don’t know who told dad that I spend the nights at other places, but I know it wasn’t Cherise. This is getting in her way, too, of what she usually does. She’d have no reason to get dad to make her stay home so that she can control everything I do.” “I see what you mean.” Robyn, pulled out her phone, something we were not supposed to have on us during the day, but she was good about turning it off during classes so teachers didn’t know she had it. She scrolled down the contacts a bit thinking about who she knew… for whatever reason, but after a bit, turned her phone off and put it away. “I don’t know anyone that would tell on you,” Robyn shook her head. “I mean, no one would do that!” I sighed. “Well, dad found out somehow, and believe me, Cherise and I are the last people to ruin a good thing for us.” “I know.” I was pretty bothered the whole day about what had happened that morning and paid even less attention in class than usual. I couldn’t even tell you what we did in math or where we were in language arts. It all just didn’t matter as much as what I was afraid that Cherise was going to say about my room when I got back, and if she was really going to force me to stand in front of her and check me like I was a toddler that didn’t know if I had peed myself or not. I only realized I wasn’t paying enough attention when Mr. Sanders came next to my seat and patted my shoulder. “You have a test. You’ve already wasted a couple of minutes daydreaming. I suggest you get started if you don’t want a zero causing me to contact your parent.” I frowned. The only one at home that would answer this, would be Cherise. I definitely didn’t want him calling her in to discuss me not doing what I’m supposed to be doing. It as then, that I realized I had to go to the bathroom, so I looked up at him. “Can I go to the bathroom first?” “Samantha, no. You already only have about ten minutes left to finish the test. Do your test and stop looking for excuses.” “But… it’s an emergency.” “Well, you should have been paying attention then, and asked before the test started,” he walked away to show that the conversation was over. I frowned at his back, but started to work on the test. “Name three causes of the Boston Tea Party….” I hated History. I wrote down that England was being stupid and making the colonies pay for things they didn’t get, that England forced the colonies to house their soldiers so they could control them…. Cherise, are you just like England, or is dad England, and Cherise is just the people in the colonies forcing what England wanted? ...and the colonies didn’t want to pay the new taxes on the tea. I felt my stomach grumble at me. I blushed and pressed on with the questions. The sooner this test was over, the sooner I could ask and Mr. Sanders couldn’t have a good reason to say no. “What was the Declaration of Independence all about?” I frowned. I understood kind of… what was in it, but what was it about? I mean, everything was about wanting to get away from England, so that couldn’t be the answer…. I put the end of my pencil in my mouth trying to think about what was going on when it was written. I felt my stomach starting to ache a little and my butt was getting uncomfortable. Please, don’t make me shit my pants in front of everyone. Please! Maybe the Declaration of Independence was just a written explanation to the King, stating why all of the colonies were mad at him and wanted to leave his rule? That sounded like a good enough answer, and I started to write that. I felt a bubbling pressure inside my butt. I held my legs together, but my bottom lifted a little up in the back off of the chair. I closed my eyes, and the bubble deflated without causing any trouble yet. I sat back down and looked at the next question. This was getting bad. There were a few more questions about the Declaration of Independence like who wrote it, who went to see the king with it, and who all signed it. I was sure I didn’t remember all the people that signed it. Suddenly, I had to lift my butt again, squeezing my cheeks together, and even put my hand down on the crotch of my pink pants. It felt like I was going to leak from both ends, and I couldn’t! Please! Everyone would definitely see the little girl that Cherise is suppose to treat me like if I pottied my pants in front of everyone! Okay, I would pee, if I could do it without anyone knowing, but I was sure everyone knew I had to go by now. I raised my hand. Mr. Sanders shook his head at me, but I waved my hand at him anyway. He walked over and looked down upon me with somewhat angry eyes. “What is it, Samantha.” “Please,” I looked up at him, unwilling tears in my eyes. “I’m gonna poop my pants if you don’t let me go right now.” He sighed and picked up my test. I had only answered maybe seven of the twenty questions. “If you go, you won’t get this back. You’ll get whatever grade you get for what you’ve already done.” I frowned thinking about it. “I’ll tell you right now, even if you get them all right, this test will definitely drag your final grade down by at least one full letter grade because you’ve barely answered any, and if you have any wrong, it’s going to be hard to make that up.” I sighed. “I want to finish the test.” “Then stop wasting time. Next time you raise your hand with an excuse to get up, I’ll just take the test without a word, got it?” I sniffled, and a tear leaked down the left side of my face as I looked back down at the paper. I mean, I guess I did cause this myself. Usually, he was reasonable, but I had not been paying attention, and I knew the rule was not to ask in the middle of a test or the test would be taken. I was lucky he was giving me another chance, even. He was following the rules, and had I been paying attention, I’d have asked before the tests were passed out. “What was the name of the document that laid out what kind of government the United States of America would have before they came up with the Constitution of the United States?” Oh, what was it? The Articles… the Confederates… the Confederate Articles? I just couldn’t remember. I felt my butt rise up again, only this time, a little dribbling started in my panties. I was starting pee my pants. I held my hands, both of them in my crotch, but I felt the pants still getting warm. I couldn’t stop it for several moments, and when it did stop, I felt water in the chair as I was able to finally sit back. I still had to go, but I was sure if I stood up, everyone would know I peed. Well, it was just pee. I’d done that before, and everyone knew better than to test me if I’d peed. I’d make them be quiet about it. I’m not a little mouse that’s scared of everything… except my butt lifted up again, and this time, as some water pushed, I also felt the bubble return, only it was growing, and then it was deflating, not in my tummy, but through my butt and into my panties some. I held still but it kept coming out, and the pee continued all over the floor. I shook my head, tears in my eyes, and I half stood over my paper as I used one hand to hold my privates, and one hand to try to write more answers. I couldn’t go to the nurse until I answered at least a few more questions. I continued to pee and poop my pants until I had finally finished with the test as much as I could. Then I raised my hand. The teacher quietly put a pass on my desk as he walked to the front. “Pencils down and pass the papers up.” I reached back to take the papers behind me from two people and passed them to the one in front of me, and then I got up and darted out of the room. I felt hot shame rising from my neck as I had to dart out of the room the door being at the front of the room, and then down the hall and to the nurse where I came in, and I found more people there for others reasons. The nurse took a moment to get to me, and when she did, she led me to the back. “Samantha, you need to stop peeing your pants in class,” she told me. “You are too old for this.” I nodded. “And what’s this?” she finally noticed. “How in the world did this happen?” “I… I pooped my pants,” I sniffled. “That’s obvious. What I’m asking, is why?” “We had a test, and the teacher’s rule is if we leave during a test, we get the score that we left our seat with, and I… I had to go too bad and … and couldn’t finish enough of the test before I had an accident.” She sighed and put a hand on my shoulder. “I’m afraid I’ll have to call home, Samantha. When you pee, we can at least just change you, but you need to get cleaned up.” “Please, no…,” I sniffled. “I’m sorry, honey. I can’t let you go back to class in messy pants, and there is no way we can clean this up here. You are supposed to be in sixth grade, not even first.” “I know….”

Hi, my speculating friends. Okay, I know that this story is probably not giving away any hints about what is going to really happen, but let's just say that the dynamics are not the usual way these stories normally work. I'll let you keep speculating, but this might be a wild curve call, just so you are aware. Then again, those that know me, might already see the set up and what is truly going on behind the scenes already. We'll see.

Chapter Two: How to Improve…? The school day went pretty much as usual. Math started the day with the worst, converting fractions so that unlike ideas could be added like ¾ plus 50 percent or 0.45 plus ½. I especially hated fractions... to anything..., even other fractions because it was never a simple process in the sixth grade. After Math, we had to read, which was okay when we were just reading, but I hated the worksheets and proving to the teacher that we could follow what was going on. Writing was okay, and Science was kind of fun today. Of course, no one really bothered me in class or at recess except for my friends who wanted to play or talk. I couldn’t wait for school to get out though, because it was finally soccer season again, and that was one thing I really loved. I walked up to the small minivan that grandma always drove. It was light blue, but the inside had stains on the seats in the back, stuff on the floor, and other things that showed that it was used by someone who had children inside. I immediately recognized the blond girl sitting in the seat closest to the front with blue eyes. “Are you actually trying out today?” I asked Mazal. “Yeah, sure. I thought I’d give it a try.” Her fake smile didn’t fool me. I could tell that she was a little bit nervous of meeting the others, and of course she had never played sports before. I sat next to her and put an arm around her because even if she was my aunt, we both knew that she was basically a little girl in a sixth grader’s body. Even though she was turning twelve a lot sooner than I was, in a couple of weeks actually, she couldn’t help but be like a nine year old at best. But I still loved my little Auntie even if she was very immature. “What are you wearing?” I appraised what she was wearing because I knew that just because I loved my little Auntie, it didn’t mean others wouldn’t be judging her. “I just thought this plain pink top and brown jeans would be sort of sportsy and kind of neutral,” she shifted a little giving away her nervousness as she pulled at her bottom lip with her teeth. “It’s okay,” I said after thinking about what other things she could have worn. At least it wasn’t Minnie Mouse in a diaper as a logo on the front of the shirt, or something else more embarrassing. “You changed your pants already, didn’t you?” I eyed her because she could be forgetful, and she had more accidents than I did. “I… um… yeah, at school,” she muttered. “Good. Then you are set,” I put my hand on her shaking one to try to strengthen her nerves. “The team is going to love you, Mazzie. Just try to pay attention to what the coach is saying and what you are doing, and you’ll be fine. I promise.” We stopped at Calumet Park, and grandma got out of the van, helped Mazal out, but kept me back a moment. “I need to check, Samantha,” she said sternly. “You don’t want to go out there in wet panties and make a bad impression.” “What about Mazal?” I demanded thinking it unfair for her to pick on me when Mazal wets her pants all the time, and I just have little leaks once in a while. “I checked her when I picked her up, Sammy,” Grandma smiled and touched my arm. “Now, I’m just trying to make sure you don’t smell when you go play, honey.” I hung my head. “Okay.” She closed the van door and pulled down my pants in the van and told me to take off my panties without even checking me, actually. “You’re too old for me to actually check anymore, honey, but you know you still have little problems sometimes, so just change your undies for me, sweetie.” I sighed and pulled off my undies while grandma felt my pants I had on, and then smiled and handed them back after I had on clean undies. “Okay, these seem fine. Go ahead and go play, and have fun,” she put a hand on my shoulder for a moment and gave me a smile. I was glad no one was around in the parking lot when I ran towards the practice field area. As I approached, I could see that some of the girls were not there that had been with us last season. Of course, we all knew Terra had quit. She had abandoned us at nearly the mid-season last year because we had only won a couple of games, and she told us she was wasting her time with us. But a few others had decided not to join us this year, too. I wasn’t too disappointed because most of the ones that quit had not gotten to see the field much at games because they simply couldn’t keep up with us. There were plenty of new girls on the field though. Aviva, Jessica, Olivia, Robyn, Tava, and Valerie seemed to be the only girls that continued with us since last year, other than that everyone else was new. The old girls came to find me when I got there, and one by one, I introduced them. “This is technically my Aunt, Mazal, but as you can see, she’s about our age.” “Hello,” Mazal blushed a little as she greeted my old teammates. We didn’t have much time to get reacquainted though because not even five minutes after meeting up, our new head coach, Coach Sook, a slender serious looking, rather tall Asian woman walked directly to our group, where we had gathered near the U-12 area of the field. “Good afternoon, girls,” the woman started with perfect English and quite a demeanor of no-horsing-around. “My name is Coach Sook, and this year, we are going to be turning your losing streak around.” Michelle beamed at the coach, and while I listened to the coach, I started to put two and two together. Michelle’s last name was also Sook. “You are going to train harder, be expected to be at practice or you won’t play, and you will be addressing the coaches with respect. You all got that?” I nodded along with all my teammates, being somewhat overwhelmed by the way she spoke to us that was different from any of our previous coaches from the years past. “Good. Now, the first thing we need to do, is find out who made it to tryouts today on time. I will not tolerate tardiness, not even on the first day. You are all in sixth grade, so there is no reason you don’t know by now, that being on time is important.” Some of the girls shifted nervously. I knew that a lot of them had a hard time getting to places on time because we were a poor club and a lot of the girls, well, just didn’t have a car to get them to practice. Even I had sometimes had to take the bus when grandma didn’t have time to take me last year. This year, she was taking Mazal, so maybe I’d have a ride this year to every practice. Mazal was not going to make it any practices that grandma didn’t take her to because she lived on the other side of town. A while later, we had started to run laps, do dribbling and pattern drills, and do some activities where we try to keep the ball or steal the ball from others. I was on top of this, or so I thought…. I was doing a drill where three attackers were facing three defenders to get to the goal line for a shot, and though we were not to take the shot at the time, we just had a target to get the ball down inside the penalty box. The attackers, myself being a wing, had our objective, and the defender’s objective was to take the ball before we got into the penalty box. This sort of bulky big girl by the name of Heidi with light brown hair and brown eyes was in the center forward position, and a particularly fast short girl was on the other side as a wing on my side. The defenders was this other really fast short girl that had a strange accent, but definitely looked fair skinned, Aviva, and Olivia, both who had played defensive positions the year before. They started by letting Robyn pass the ball forward to us, so we could take it down past the center line. Olivia and Aviva stayed just forward enough to make it impossible to pass to anyone close to the penalty box if any of us should try to get up there to win the activity. The ball started off being passed to me, and I dribbled it along, looking for the foreign girl, but she was fast, and before I spotted her, she had slid into the ball kicking it out of bounds. I at least got to throw the ball in, but as I walked past her to get to the ball, the little foreigner smirked at me. She thought she was so clever! I looked around, and the Center Forward, Heidi, was being covered by the short fast girl, Basya. She was quick, and I could immediately see that I could not throw the ball in hard enough to get it to Heidi without Basya being right there to steal it. Breanna was wide open because Aviva and Olivia stuck closer to the penalty area, covering zones, Olivia having come closer to the center since she knew I couldn’t throw in half way across the field. I threw in to Breanna, a short little Mexican girl that had dark brown hair, almost black, and brown eyes. She had some meat on her, but not in a chunky way at all, just a bit like, well, a kid that still had some baby-fat on her. Breanna got the ball easily enough, and as I said, Basya was quick, and she started to chase Breanna down. “Brea,” I called at her. “Pass!” I didn’t care if she passed to Heidi or myself, she just needed to pass it before Basya got her trapped between herself and Olivia. Breanna smiled at me, and then started to zig this way and zag that way, thinking she could somehow shake Basya while getting around Olivia! “Pass!” I called again. Again, she ignored me, and Basya was on her heels while Olivia loomed up in front of her, when from nowhere, Aviva came from her side and tapped the ball away and to Basya, who took the ball back down towards me. The exercise was called because the defense had stolen the ball. “I said to pass,” I told the short Mexican girl, but she just shrugged at me like it didn’t matter, and Coach Sook walked over and yelled at me… for yelling at a teammate. How was that fair? “Sometimes,” the coach told all of us, “mistakes are made. That is no reason to go off on your teammates. You are a team, and if you want to play on my team, you will respect each other and treat each other like you all belong here.” I rolled my eyes. I was the captain for the last three years, and on this time the longest of all the girls. I wasn’t treating her bad, but she literally ignored everyone advising her to pass the ball. She didn’t just make a mistake, she literally refused to pass the ball! Standing with my arms crossed, the coach started to try out some of the other kids for goal keeping. That was nearly the most boring position, and I’d gladly leave that to someone else. Then, this really short girl with straight black hair, brown eyes, and an off-white complexion that wasn’t really quite brown…, this Natsuki Ichikawa, walked up and raised her hand to try. “Of course, anyone can try,” Coach Sook smiled at her and let her take the net. “Okay, who fancies themselves good at scoring?” Of course, I raised my hand. Five of us lined up to try three goal shots each, not only at Natsuki, but at other girls who had volunteered, but Natsuki…. Well…, it went a lot like this. The ball was placed down on the mark as though ready for a penalty shot. I eyed the prize I wanted, looked down at the ball, and then looked into a different corner of the net, trying to feign her out of place. I ran up on the ball, and kicked it so it rolled down the tip of my shoe, causing it to spin in the opposite direction from the corner I was feigning at…. It looked like she was about to take the bait, as she changed position to dive at the low shot, but at the last minute, as if she were a cat or something, her back arched. She jumped up nearly backwards… nearly bending her back in half… and she got in front of the ball just in time to bat it away! I shook my head. How? This tall girl that didn’t speak a lot and seemed very off socially, Heidi, stepped up. She smiled at Natsuki, and then looked at the coach with a nod. She kicked the ball halfway to the goal, but raced up to tap the ball to direct it differently, but before she got there, Natsuki landed on the ball. Heidi frowned. I mean, she should have known that wouldn’t work, right? Heidi looked a lot heavier than most of the others, and she was one of the taller girls, too. It was actually surprising with as short as Natsuki was, that she moved as fast as she did to beat Heidi to the ball. Kim, this ebony skinned girl with rich dark black springy hair stepped up. She was lean but her legs had defined muscles. Her face was a bit narrow, but at the same time, looked quite full. Her brown eyes were set on the ball. The wind whipped through my hair unsettling the looses strands a bit, but hers stayed plainly in place though she had not made a ponytail of her hair at all. Kim didn’t seem to try to feint at all, but rather just went for a direct kick. The kick looked powerful, and the ball screamed towards the net. Natsuki jumped up and somehow just ended up above the ball so that she kicked the ball back, though it struck her shin. She came down as though she fell, and she held her shin for a moment. Coach Sook rushed over to check on her, and I did, too. If I was going to be captain again this year, even if I didn’t know this Natsuki yet, I had a feeling she was going to make the team. She had stopped three goals, already, and everyone knows no one from last year ever stopped my goals. Natsuki looked up at the coach with glistening eyes. “I okay,” she said getting up. “I can do it.” Coach Sook frowned. “Let me see, hon.” Natsuki sighed and sat back on the ground and let Coach examine her leg. It was pretty red. Even Kim, the girl that had kicked the ball came over to see how bad it was. I glared at her. If she injured the best goal keeper I’d seen in all the seasons I’d been captain and on this team, I wouldn’t forgive her. The coach smiled after a few minutes of checking the girl out, and gave her permission to try again with the idea she was going to watch, and if she didn’t like something, then Natsuki would be taken out of practice the rest of the day to rest her leg. Natsuki smiled and quickly got into position. Breanna, the girl that didn’t seem to listen to anyone, tapped the ball and tried to run it into the goal. Natsuki rushed to be in front of her. Breanna tried to feint to one side, but Natsuki decided she’s slide into the ball kicking it off track and once again blocked the net. Breanna sighed and the coach nodded satisfied that Natsuki was still able to play. Finally, Vanessa, one of the easily heaviest of us, stepped up. She had long blond hair that she had to tie back for soccer. She had a pout-set face, that focused on the ball and then she stared at Natsuki for a moment, as though she was trying something else. I wasn’t sure what she was trying. After a moment, she nodded, backed up a few feet, and then she ran up and kicked the ball low to which Natsuki dived on it. Natsuki was five for five. In the end, not one shot got through her, and though Kim’s kicks were each very powerful, and even though Natsuki had to recover a bit from blocking her attacks, and even though I was sure my tricks were a lot more mental gymnastics, it didn’t matter. She seemed to know somehow exactly where it was going. She had been the best I’d seen… ever. Two others volunteered to try playing keeper, but one of them was quickly eliminated because all of our first shots easily got through her, and the second one was okay…. But she ended up not coming back to practice after the first tryout day. After we had practiced a little more, the coach started to walk away from us, and I called everyone together that would listen. “Girls, can I talk a minute before you all walk off to your families?” Robyn and the old members from last year of course came over, but some of the newer girls like Kim, Breanna, and Basya just walked away. Actually, most of the newer ones seemed uninterested, but a few did come over, like Heidi, Mazal (My Aunt), Michelle, and even Vanessa came over to see what I wanted. “I don’t know who is going to make it on the team this year,” I told them. “But one thing we should all be focused on remembering, is that we are now in upper league. The rules are going to change this year, and we need to all focus on practice at practice time if we want to continue on the team. If we don’t, we are not going to have a shot at the bigger games at the end of the season.” “Hey, I’m Michelle Sook, Coach Sook’s neice,” a thin Asian girl from maybe China spoke up. “Not meaning anything bad by it, but honestly, my aunt says this is the worst age group on the team. You people didn’t even win more than what… three games last year, if that? And the year before you won, like one? What makes you think we are going to even have a shot this year?” I glared at her for a moment. “Because, Michelle, niece of the coach, we were like little kids last year. We didn’t take it very seriously, did we? But this year, things are going to change. I promise, if I’m captain again, and I’m pretty sure I will be, we are going to practice more and we are going to cut out distractions.” Robyn stepped up and looked between us. “Samantha, we don’t even know if you are going to be captain again this year. I mean, this girl is the coach’s niece, and you know the coaches actually decide who the captains are, right?” I frowned. “Okay. But even if I’m not captain, I’ll take anyone who wants to win, and I have ideas to make the team better this year.” Michelle frowned. “You had three or four seasons to improve everyone. If I were captain, I would be telling people about your record, and about the fact that you can’t even win half of your games, so anyone listening to you….” Once again, Robyn got between us. “Well, you aren’t captain, yet, mouthy,” Robyn told her. “Now, if you are the coach’s niece, why haven’t we seen you play before?” “Well…,” she looked down. “Then get off of Sam. It’s not Sam’s fault we have had bad luck in the players that join year to year. This year, we have a few girls that look like they show some promise, but we also have some girls that I hope don’t make it.” “You are hoping I don’t make it, aren’t you?” Michelle stared at her. “Actually, other than your attitude towards the captain, you are one of the few I haven’t decided on yet if you are going to help or hinder the team.” She scoffed and walked away. I ran over to Natsuki. She looked up at me nervously, or so it seemed. She had her eyes cast down at the ground though her face was looking up. Her face was a little tinted, and she was kicking at the ground. “You are going to be one of the reasons we can make it to the play offs this year,” I told her. “No one has ever tried out that could block my shots, let alone, five people all taking three shots a piece at your non-stop, and even getting slightly hurt twice, but getting up and shaking it off.” Natsuki smiled and her eyes looked up into mine. “I know you are going to be on the team. I hope you let me help you improve even more so you are ready to compete with less than friendly people.” “I try,” she smiled. “So, you’ve played before?” I asked her. “Only in Japan after school club for one year before we move at America,” she shifted her weight a bit and kicked at the ground again. “Well, we welcome you to the team.” I then sized up some of the others that were standing around us, some of the ones that came over, I could tell right away, they would not make it. They just simply had no moves, no endurance and no idea of what they were doing. I did approach Vanessa though. “You were not bad out there today. I’m looking forward to seeing what you bring with you tomorrow.” “I bet I can outscore you on goals if we are given fair chances on the field,” she looked me in the eye. “I like your attitude,” I smiled. Inside, though, I had to hold down my ego that said there was no way she was better than me. She was new to the team, and I am the one that stuck with this club since five years old, the one that had captained it for three years so far, and the one that got the most goals on the team in any given season. There was no way this girl was going to outperform me. “But if you are going to have a chance at outscoring me on the field, you are going to have to think about this seriously and discipline yourself. You can do it my way, or you can try to do it your way, it doesn’t really matter. I just want those that want to improve, to take this serious, and if your way doesn’t work, because I know mine will, you will not even see the field often enough to try to compete with me.” She looked me in the eye for a few minutes, almost as if she was staring me down, but eventually, she sighed and nodded. “Whatever,” she quipped before walking off. “So what makes you think you are going to lead us to victory this year?” Valerie asked me. Valerie was a thin little girl that adored me, and always did whatever I told her to do. She looked up to me as if I was her big sister. “Well, sweetheart, we need to all get a lot more serious than we were last year. That’s number one. People are going to have to practice until it hurts this year, and you can’t be calling up to miss practice once a week. If you miss practice for any reason, even seeing a doctor, you will be making that practice up with me, at a park. Understand?” “Yes, ma’am.” “If we practice hard, and learn to communicate and listen to those that know where the openings are, then we will create more opportunities to score.” “Yeah, that makes sense.” “You are one of the weakest members on the team,” I sighed at Valerie. “Hopefully you are not one of the girls that gets cut by the coach this year because I’d hate to see you leave, but you are going to have to work really hard this year.” “I will. I’ll even start today if you think there’s a chance I can stay on the team.” “Well, there are a lot of people that are worse than you that are trying out. If you do what I tell you, you might have a chance of staying on the team.” “I promise, I will.” “And if I help you stay on the team, I’ll expect you to do everything I tell you to do after that, no matter what, so you can improve. Our team is as bad as the worst player on the team.” “I promise.” “What about me?” Jessica a blond girl that was a bit meatier than Valerie, but then compared to almost everyone, Valerie was skin and bone. “I’ll help you too, if you promise to do everything I say this year just like Valerie.” “I promise.” Olivia, Robyn, and Tava all looked at one another before looking back at me. Aviva was being a bit quiet in the background blending in with the other new girls that were unsure of what was happening. “Samantha,” Tava opened her mouth. “You know I’d do anything for you,” she started. “But are you sure you know what you are doing? You haven’t even told us what you’d expect other than making up missed practices.” “I’m telling you, to take all training serious,” I responded putting my hand on my hip. “You need to think that while we are on the practice field, that is the most important thing at the time. No boys, no homework, nothing else. Just practice matters.” “I mean, I think some of us do that already,” she put her lower lip out at me. “If enough of us did that, we wouldn’t have only three wins last year,” I told her. “The other teams clearly wanted to win more than we did.” She sighed and looked to Robyn and Olivia for help. “So…,” Olivia looked up at me with her eyes knitted. “You have a plan to make us all take it more serious?” “I do,” I smirked. “However, I’m not wasting my breath on those that might quit or get cut, and could end up on other teams, to share our secrets with.” “But you promised to help me make the team,” Valerie and Jessica both said at once. “You two can count on me helping you, but privately. I don’t want you talking to the new girls that are not standing here right now, though. I can’t trust them, until they are on the team.” Finally, everyone parted to go, and I walked with Valerie and Jessica hanging on me, while we were left alone. “You are going to do anything I say?” I asked them. They both nodded. “No bathrooms, tomorrow during practice and tryout time,” I told them. “I’m sorry, but this is one of the things that must be enforced if you are going to have a chance. I don’t care how you handle it, but while we are in tryouts, until we are dismissed by the coach, no potty, actually, until you are dismissed by me, because I’ll be talking to anyone that will listen tomorrow, too.” Valerie looked at me for a long moment, but she eventually nodded. After Valerie nodded, Jessica nodded. I hadn’t noticed, but Mazal was slightly behind, and she jogged to catch up with us. “What if we can’t hold it though?” I looked back at her quizzically. “You want to help me stay on the team, don’t you? Remember, you are the one that begged me to join.” “Yeah, I do want you to stay if you can.” “Well, so what do we do if we can’t hold it at tryouts?” I frowned. “Um… no toilets.” “I know. So, what? Just pee our pants?” “I guess?” I looked her in the eye. “I mean, you are almost twelve years old, right?” She frowned. “You know I have a weak bladder.” “I know Mazal. I guess you can just pee your pants. It’s not like grandma will get mad at you for it, right? You’ve done it at school plenty of times?” She nodded. “...And you…,” but before she could continue I stared into Valerie’s eyes. “And Mazal is right. I think you and Jessica are going to have to pee your pants one way or another tomorrow, too. Don’t draw attention to it or anything. Anything that gets you distracted from playing is not good, so just try to find a moment when you are not in front of the ball or people are looking, and just wet your pants, okay?” Valerie frowned. “Do I have to?” “Do you want to stay on the team?” “Um… yeah.” I put an arm around her. “You said you’d do anything, right?” “Yeah.” “Okay, then.” “Alright,” Jessica said suddenly. “I’ll do it.” I smiled at her and looked expectantly at Valerie. “Don’t tell me that Jessica is more loyal than you are?” “No. I… I’ll… I pee my pants tomorrow.” “Good. Now go ahead and go home. I need to talk to my dear aunt about some stuff.” We watched them head off, and then I stopped and turned to her looking around to make sure no one else is close to hear us. “Mazal, you have to learn social protocol. Of course, I’m going to pee my pants. I’m wet right now, and you can check in the car if you don’t believe me. But as captain, I’m not going tell everyone when it happens. You don’t need to tell everyone about every time their captain wets her pants. That’s what you were about to do, right? Tell everyone that I leak all the time at school?” Mazal frowned and looked down. “I wasn’t going to tell them you always do it.” “It doesn’t matter. If they see me do it, but see I’m not bothered by it, and that I don’t talk about it, then they’ll learn to do the same.” “So…, you pee your pants on purpose? I always thought it was an accident.” “Well…, are you going to tell grandma on me, now?” “No?” “Good. Now I expect the same from you. You pee your pants all week at tryouts, but don’t tell anyone you did it. Just act like nothing happened, and let grandma change you when you get home like it was an accident.” She nodded with her eyes downcast and tears in them. “I’m sorry Mazal, but you are not one of the strongest new members, and I need to help you stay on the team. Trust me, it’s more fun than tryouts are. You’ll be glad you did all this. And besides, you want to spend time with your niece, don’t you?” “Yeah,” she sighed. “I’ll do it.” I was dropped off at home because I had to go to school tomorrow. I could tell that grandma wanted to come in the house and yell at my stepmom, but I hoped she wouldn’t be home, so I eventually convinced her that someone was home, but that stepmom would be upset if they got to talking and she didn’t get me in bed in time because she had to make dinner and stuff for me. Luckily, grandma still believed that they cooked for me at night. I went around the back of the house so grandma wouldn’t see, and let myself in the back door. The kitchen light was on, which was why grandma believed that Cherise was home. The house was empty though, as I inspected every room before I went to the bathroom take a quick bath. After a bath, it was going on six, so I went to the kitchen and looked through the cupboards finding something that I could munch on for now. I didn’t feel like going out to get something, though dad had given me plenty of money. Besides, I needed to think through how I was going to make my plans work, to both try to keep my favorite less than likely girls on the team, and to make sure the rest of the team followed the plans after we knew who was going to make the cut. Robyn might be a problem, I knew. She was my best friend since like fourth grade, but that didn’t mean she went along with every scheme I had. And this one, was definitely going to put a sour taste in her mouth. I was also not so sure Vanessa was going to go along, and I had to somehow shut Michelle up so she wouldn’t tattle to her aunt about it. I sat in front of the television, but instead of having my homework open in front of me, I had some papers, a list of likely going to stay people in front of me, of the names I could remember, anyway, and I was trying to think of rules and how to make others help me keep each other honest about following the new rules. I wanted to play in the state championship, and I wanted to go further if I could. Rule one: I had written on the nearly blank paper. I was a kid like them. Should I state it plainly like it was a rule, or should I write it so it is guilt trippy? Robyn would be the best at guilt tripping people, but I doubted she’d help me with that. I wanted everyone to be ready to go fifteen minutes before the coach was ready and to stay half an hour after the coach left so we could talk about what needed work. I was sure that Valerie, Jessica, and Mazal could easily follow this rule, and planned to tell them straight about it tomorrow. They knew it was in an attempt to let them stay on the team, so they’d have no problem with it at all. But how do I write it so everyone will follow the rule when the preseason starts next week? I left a few lines after that, before I wrote Rule two: Again, it was a tricky rule to write, and it was still blank after a few minutes of thinking. How could I word it so everyone would follow the rule even after the preseason started, and no one would go against it? Of course, the three girls I was helping to stay on the team would easily do it as they had already agreed this afternoon to just pee their pants, but of course I couldn’t expect anyone else to do that, but I didn’t want them leaving the field during practice either. I had to somehow word it so it wasn’t obvious they’d have to pee their pants if they didn’t do it at the right time, but so it made sense that that’s what the rule had said all along. Of course, I had been trying to think about how to improve practice since the end of last season, because of all the seasons, that was the worst season we had had. Sure, we lost about the same number of times, but last season, we just didn’t get very many goals at all, and they kept stealing the ball before it could even get to the attackers, and our defense was really crummy. I had to change that. I still had the first two rules blank, so I put attendance in parenthesis on the first rule to remind myself what needed to go there later, and bathroom in parenthesis on the second rule to remind myself of that. Rule three: The captain is going to put trainers over a group, and the girls under that trainer must find a day that works with the trainer’s schedule to all go to the park and practice their skills once or twice a week as our regular practice, school, and family events permit, but must be done no less than twice a month. Yeah, that seemed well worded, because as I said, I’m working for the betterment of the team, even ignoring my homework right now to make this list best fit our team. Rule Four: When the captain observes other weaknesses or other trainers see weaknesses, these rule are subject to be added to, but not taken away from unless agreed by all trainers and the captain. That seemed like a good start. Now, how do I word the first two rules? I woke up in my bed the next morning, not knowing how I got there, and my dad was at the doorway. “I saw your list in the living room last night,” he winked at me. “So, are you trying to shape up your team or something?” “Yeah. Last year, we had our worst season, and I’d been thinking all year how to make it better. I think those rules are going to help.” “So, why is attendance and bathroom left almost blank?” I looked down. “These are tricky things for the team, and need to be thought out more so that everyone can do it, and be willing to do it.” “I see…,” and he stood there even as I got out of bed in just my panties and sleep shirt and walked over towards the dresser to get some clothes. “Dry night?” he asked to make me smile. “Yeah.” “That’s good. Come on into the kitchen when you are done getting dressed.” And with that, dad left me to get dressed. Strange though, this was the first time in almost a year he had come down my hall before it as up and dressed. I wondered if there was a reason he was getting me up. I felt a chill go through my bones. As I settled in the kitchen, ready for whatever they were going to throw my way, I couldn’t help observe that stepmom had a small smile on her thin lips, and dad looked a bit concerned. He put some oatmeal into my bowl, and sat next to me. Stepmom stood with her arms crossed, looking at us from the opposite entrance to the hall that went back to the master bedroom, the master bathroom, and a home office they had back there….

Chapter One: Life at Home “Samantha! Get up, now!” I groaned. “Oof!” as the light came on and my eyes started to open to the woman who had been in my dad’s house for the last two years. Yeah, I didn’t really get along with her, especially since she thought she was my mother or something. No, you don’t get to be my mother just because you marry my father, especially when you do it just for his, or correction, for my grandparents’ money. “This room is a disgrace!” she scolded standing at the doorway not wanting to enter the room at all. “And what is that smell? Did you piss the bed again?” Even if I had, the room always smelled to her. It wouldn’t matter if I did, or not. I felt my hand under the sheets and felt between my bum and the mattress. It was admittedly quite damp, but still, it wouldn’t matter if it wasn’t. “Get your dirty lazy ass out of bed and go get a shower, unless you can’t even do that right.” I just glared at her for a few moments until she finally sighed and left the door standing open as she went back towards the kitchen, I hoped. I really hated her. Her name was Cherise, but she wanted me to call her mom or mommy, and if I called her even stepmom, which is what she was, then I’d be scolded. Think I’m a teenager? Well, I’m actually eleven years old. I just really don’t like her because I can see right through her, and I don’t understand how dad can’t because she’s not even trying to hide it. I pushed back the blankets and got a more clear view of how bad the accident was the night before. My sheets were varying degrees of stained yellow, orange, and wet-grey because my immature body couldn’t keep the fluids inside at night like it was supposed to. This morning, the wet-grey sheets were only a little wet around where my butt was, and when I pulled the sheets off, the bed was only a little damp right where I’d been lying. Sighing, I started to move the sheets down to the laundry corner of the little side hall passage that went behind the living room hall had my own private bathroom and the extra room where my Aunt Mazal sometimes spent the night, though honestly, she was more a baby than I was. She was eleven like me, but would be turning twelve in less than a month from now. The laundry machine was between the bathroom and Mazal’s back room. That’s where I dropped the sheets off and my other wet clothes stripping naked in the hall. The only people in the house at the moment my dad who was probably sleeping, stepmom Cherise, and myself, and I wouldn’t even care if Mazal saw me naked. She peed the bed too, like all the time. “Get out of the bathroom!” I heard a hard knock on my bathroom door while I was sitting in a hot sudsy bath that still hadn’t changed temperature since I had started it. “You’re going to be late!” “I’m getting out now!” I called back though the little hairs on the back of my neck stood on end as though raised in attempt to bolster my presence in case of a fight. This woman was so annoying. She didn’t care if I was going to school or not. She just wanted the house to herself or something. “I’ll bet you didn’t even bring any clean clothes with you into the bathroom, did you?” Damn, she was getting irritating. “No!” “How many times do you have to be told you are getting too old to go around the house naked all the time?” “What does it matter? Dad’s asleep, and even if he wasn’t, he never comes down this hallway unless he knows I’m dressed!” “That’s not the point, Samantha!” I rolled my eyes as I got to the bathroom door, the towel held up to cover my still nearly flat chest and still very much little girl body and opening it to see the red hair woman coldly staring down at me. “You are not a baby, anymore! You can’t just be running around naked all the time. And you need to stop pissing yourself.” “You don’t even care,” I snapped back at her. “It’s not like you have to wash my sheets or anything. I always do that.” “And at your age, I wouldn’t touch your sheets, make no mistake, but that’s besides the point. You are too old to be doing that anymore.” “So?” “Your dad really should be taking the belt to your hide. You are sassy, rude, and just really willfully ignorant to protocol.” “If you really think that, then bring it up to him,” I challenged her trusting my dad not to let her go that far. “I did, actually,” she smirked at me. I didn’t like that smirk one bit. “He didn’t tell you that he would….” though a lump formed in my throat because of her smirk. “No…,” she glared me in the eye. “But he didn’t say I couldn’t, either.” “You didn’t ask him if you could touch me…,” I said a little stronger and more forceful than I intended and even to myself, I knew I had been a bit rude. “Oh, trust me, it wouldn’t take me much convincing that you need a firmer hand than you’ve gotten until now, young lady. You know yourself, with all the fights at school, the many times you caused trouble there, and your rudeness at home, and not doing anything you are told…. You know your dad is getting tired of defending your shenanigans, don’t you?” I kept glaring at her, willing her to drop it, having a contest of wills to see how much she was bluffing. “Just go get dressed, brat. You’re going to be late for school.” She walked away, and I sighed a breath of relief. I wasn’t that bad! Dad never said he wanted to spank me or that I made him upset. Cherise couldn’t be telling the truth, could she? I closed my bedroom door and walked over to my pink dresser that had purple unicorns all over it. Dad had painted those on with me helping when I was like seven. It was nearly two weeks after mom left us, that he had helped me paint that dresser as a way to cheer me up. I closed my eyes trying not to think about what my real mom must be like, and yanked open the top drawer to get an undershirt from it. “She is NOT my mother,” I told myself in scolds referring to Cherise. “She’s bluffing. Daddy would never let her touch me!” I pulled the top on over my head and put my arms through. “She’s just getting under my skin like she always does. She’s just trying to scare me into doing everything she says to do, but she’s not my boss. She’s not.” I pulled out the long drawer under the top three, and looked at all the panties that were nicely folded in there. They were all very much too immature. I should ask daddy for extra spending money so I can get something more grown up. I’ll be going into middle school next year. “And where does she get off telling me how immature I am, when she’s just being a bully and picking a fight with a kid half her age? She might be an adult, but she’s a kid compared to daddy. I didn’t really know exactly how old daddy was, but I knew he had to be a lot older than twenty. This girl was like, what, twenty-two? Twenty-three? Something like that?” I slammed the dresser drawer shut after pull up my unders. “I bet dad would get mad at her if he found out she was bullying me again. They had a fight last week because she was bullying me, then, too. I could just go and shed a few tears, and sniffle. I might even tell Robyn, my best friend, about how she was rushing me all morning, calling me dirty and stupid, and just tell her the parts that put her on my side. She was my friend, afterall. She would come to my daddy and tell him for me that stepmom made me cry at school, and Robyn was a lot more persuasive than I was. She might even get Cherise in trouble. Maybe?” I shook my head. I only had Robyn for a few minutes at a time at my house. Once she had gone home, Cherise would make me pay for that. That was not going to work. I had tried to get along with her, when she first came to stay with us, but I never did anything right for her. I was always too dirty, too rough, too loud, too messy, too hungry…. The list went on. I got a pair of nice pale blue jeans on my thighs but that had just the right holes in the right places to look tough and cool, and I put on a tshirt that had a black background and the image of Jeannette McCurdy pointing out asking “Are you going to eat that?” Samantha didn’t care what anyone really thought at school because everyone knew better than to disagree with her too loudly. Just like the Sam in the iCarly show, Samantha was a tough girl that fought most of her own battles. “Your not wearing that tshirt to school are you?” stepmom just couldn’t give it a rest. “Why not?” “It’s not the right look for you, Samantha. You have to be your own person, you know?” I shook my head and tore into my egg to fill my mouth so I wouldn’t have to respond. “Your daughter pissed the bed again,” stepmom told on me as dad lumbered from the hall that came from the other side of the kitchen in to say good morning to me. “Did you get your sheets in the wash?” he asked me. I nodded. “Well, no harm done,” he shrugged and poured himself some coffee. “She’s still growing up. It’s not a big deal.” “Jim, she’s in sixth grade!” “Be that as it may, she’ll grow out of it, when she’s ready.” “She was also walking around naked again this morning.” “Yes, she’s still a little kid,” dad sighed. “I’ve had words with her about it already, but just let it be. She’s been scolded, it sounds like twice this morning already. Just leave her alone, Cherise.” “She’s too old to be doing this stuff. She’s going to ruin her social life at school if she doesn’t start growing up a bit.” “She’ll be fine, Cherise. Let her be.” Finally, stepmom shook her head and dropped it. “Do you have enough for lunch?” dad asked. I looked up at him. “I got this much left,” and dug in my bag near the table until I found my wallet and then pulled it open to let him see I had five dollars in there.” “Well, that’s not going to get you very far if Cherise and I end up being a little late getting home today,” he smiled and hugged me before he reached in his back pocket and pulled out two twenties. “That should tie you over for a couple of days.” I smiled and batted my eyes at him. “It’s plenty, daddy.” He hugged me again, and then rubbing my back, he sent me off to school: “Have a good day, sweetheart.” I bounded to the door and out before Cherise could ruin the mood. I walked out my front door, and turned right to walk past an empty piece of land before you came to a tiny apartment building near the corner where I always met Robyn to walk to school from. Across from my house all the way from the one end of one corner to the other corner, there was a huge park. “Samantha!” a red headed girl called out to me from across the opposite corner of the intersection. She had on a nice lavander color dress with a shoulder bag that hung down to her waist that kept her school books safe. I smiled across to her and waved back without saying anything. Waiting for her to cross both sides to get to me, we started to walk back into way behind where my house would be. The school was on the back block from my house across the street. “I don’t know who she thinks she is,” I told Robyn about how Cherise though it was her business to comment on whether I picked up my clothes at night or how long I took in a bath, or whatnot. Of course, I never told her the reason I needed a bath. That wasn’t that important. “I know,” Robyn agreed with me full heartedly. “I mean, if she wanted anything to do with you, then she’d at least press your shirts neater,” she ran a finger down my side barely touching the shirt. I frowned. “I don’t need her touching my shirts. She’s not my mother.” “Yeah, I know. I just meant, she only acts bossy, and not much like a mother at is all.” “Exactly.” Truth is, I’d probably hate her even worse if she did try to act like my mom and iron my things or mess with my room at all. “Yeah, she probably should meddle with your business less than she does. It’s obvious she only does it to try to impress your dad.” “Only I’m pretty sure he sees through it. He told her to leave me be this morning.” “Good for him.” The bell started to ring, but on our way towards the classroom, both Robyn and I saw a certain bronze hair girl coming out of a bathroom with a smirk on her face. “I’m glad the sixth grade bathrooms are on the otherside of the building,” Robyn whispered as we eyed the hispanic girl wearily. Whatever that smirk was on her face, it meant there was unpleasant news somehow, and I’d bet you two to one, it had something to do with the bathroom she had just come out of. “How are you getting to tryouts today?” Robyn asked me suddenly as we hung up our things in the coatroom area. “Tryouts?” “Yeah. Last Monday of January?” her voice rose in inflection. “You didn’t forget.” “No, of course not. I think my grandma’s coming to get me this afternoon. My aunt is supposed to try out this year, remember?” “Oh, right! Your dad’s little sister?” “Yeah. She’s our age, like I keep telling you.” “You keep saying you’ll have to introduce her to me....” “Well, you’ll get to meet her today!” “So, your dad is going to blow off taking you to all the tryout program again this year, then?” “Yeah. He’ll be busy with Cherise, but as long as he has Cherise out of the way, honestly, I’d prefer that to her being there.”

James smiled at the little mature lady. "Baby, I understand. But these are just for now, clothes. I'm going to be getting you more before the school year starts again next year. You don't have to be so careful, but I appreciate you taking care of your things." He smiled when they said they loved their food, but he went back and got a few little extras on side dishes and put them near the girls so they could try other things. "You don't have to eat everything," he told them. "I am just trying to get a sense of what you'll eat and what you don't like, so please don't worry about how much you eat. You will actually cost me more money by not eating enough, okay?" He turned to Ru-chan. *I know some American foods might be weird for you. Just try some, okay? Anything you don't like, you don't have to take more than one bite of, okay?* He settled down and ate some of the foods they chose, too, so they could see that he was willing to eat what they ate, too.

James put their chairs near closer to him, and he helped them where they needed it. He didn't talk about their choices of food. He realized that at least for Ruby it was probably just something familiar, and with Liz, it was probably that she had not been taught how to make healthy choices when she had a large selection of food of which she could get anything and everything she thought she could eat. He'd work on that in a more natural way, he hoped. "How's the burger?" he asked Liz. He put a little chicken on her plate from his, and a bit of potato salad. "Oshii?" *Is it good* he asked Ruby as he gave her a piece of chicken and some potato salad from his plate as well. James noticed the little girl trying to eat neatly, and he smiled. "Sweetheart, this is a family restaurant. No one is going to care if you spill a little bit of sauce or whatever. I just want you to enjoy yourself, honey." He rubbed her arm for a moment and then let her go back to eating. (King's table is like a large all you can eat buffet. It might actually not be around anymore. I remember it in Wyoming when I was about 12 and dad took me there one time. I think I had to see a doctor or something, maybe an eyeglass doctor, not sure, and my brothers and sister were at school.)

When they arrived at the "King's Table," James helped both children out of the car. He picked baby Ru-chan up and he held Lizzy's hand and walked them into the restaurant where he immediately paid the cashier before they were directed back to a table. From there, he started to walk the girls up to show them how to dish their food out for themselves, and helped them as much as they needed it. They walked back to the table three times, with a couple of drinks each, a plate with the main course and some good stuff to accent it on it, and then a smaller plate with bread and other smaller sides on it for each of them. "Go ahead and eat," he told Lizzy. "When you need another drink or something, just let me know, honey." He looked at Ruby. *Eat, sweetie.*

James frowned. Ru-chan was definitely in a bad way. He had been in Japan for a bit a while back, and even ten years ago, decent families and elementary schools taught children English. Even if she couldn't speak it much, she should have known a lot more than she seems to be showing. She could be shy, but even then, there would be other cues like a look or a silent nod. She seemed to register nothing. And of course, if she didn't know any English at all, it didn't matter how well she read Japanese, there was no way she'd know how to read English. The lettering is completely different symbols even for phonetic sounds. James sighed and shook his head about it. "Nutrient milk?" he asked her. "Can you show me what you are talking about if I take you around? I don't think it's a good idea to cut that until I talk to a doctor about her." So he would end up buying actually one more thing now. And she seemed to need a booster seat as well. He almost forgot about that. By the time they were back in the car, he had gotten Ruby a car booster seat, gotten some drinks that were specially formulated for young children that needed a little more weight, and a few other things that probably would be good for both kids. Now, they were finally on their way to a nice little restaurant called "The Kings' Table." It was a restaurant that was more like a buffet. They could get whatever they wanted, but it was a pretty penny for sure.

"Well, given that Ru-chan doesn't talk much and can't speak English yet, and you being shy and she had like ten other girls there, I wasn't sure if she had a chance to change you as often as she should. Especially Ruby who couldn't tell anyone she was wet because she doesn't seem to say anything in English yet." James was no expert, and for him to realize she was underweight, it scared him that she probably had not been eating well in a while. "Did you kids get enough to eat at the home?" James asked Lizzy. He helped Ruby into her sleeper and then he put her in lap for a moment. *You very good girl* he said in her language. Then repeated in English. "Good girl." He rubbed her legs for a moment with her in his lap and he reached over and rubbed Lizzy's shoulder. "You are my babies, now, girls. If you wet your pants or even poop them, I need you to try to tell me right away. I will check on you, as often as I can think to, but just because I checked on you doesn't mean you didn't just wet your pants thirty minutes later because that's when you had to actually go. You come and get me. If I'm busy, you can still ask. I'll let you know I need to finish something, but I'll change you just as soon as I can if you ask, babies."

James carefully removed her diaper and cleaned her up carefully making sure she didn't have any owies or rashes or anything. Her files said she peed her pants all the time, and also didn't communicate which meant she probably didn't get changed as often as she should have been. "How often did Ms. Cheryl check you to see if you went potty?" He asked Liz while he slid a new diaper under Ru-chan. "Did you see how often Ru-chan was checked?" He knew that with a lot of kids, and with these two being older, it might have been harder for her to keep up on it, but the reason he worried about it, was he wondered if he should take them to get them checked for infections or other things that could have resulted from wearing wet or messy diapers for too long. He gently applied powder, taped her diaper up, and touched her nose. *Feel good?* he asked her. Then he got her sleeper out and started to dress her in that, but to do so, he had to take the hoodie off of her and her undershirt off her so she wouldn't get too hot. It wasn't that cold out at the moment. Once she was undressed, he used a wet wipe to go ahead and wipe her stomach and back, too. It wasn't as good as a bath, but still made him feel like he was keeping her as clean as possible. *Okay, sweetie, I'm putting this on your legs, first, now.*

Little Lizzy would see it was one of her Hello Kitty diapers that he had gotten out. He would save the last one from the orphanage for an emergency if he somehow forgot to get diapers and would use this as a last straw to make sure the poor child isn't stuck without a diaper. He also got Lizzy one of her new skirts and tops so she could be comfortable and in nice things for when they went into the restaurant, and he helped her put those on too, since he was already changing her diaper. "I know you can do it," he whispered softly to her. "But let me be daddy right now. I'm already changing your diaper and I want you to feel nice when you go eat at the restaurant, so let me finish changing you, sweetie." Once Lizzy was changed he called for Ruby to come back around and then laid her in, with her head in Lizzy's lap. *Daddy change Ru-chan, too, and after we get a diaper on you, we can put your sleeper on you.* He smiled up at Lizzy. "I'm just telling her I'm changing her, too and then I'll put her sleeper on her because she had asked for it earlier." He wanted to make sure neither girl felt left out of the conversation, so he was doing a lot of translations at the moment, but he hoped that sooner than later, Ruby would start picking up on English herself. "Do me a favor, Lizzy, and tell Ru-chan she's a good girl? Just say it in English. She needs to get used to English. And hearing her big sister call her a good girl while cooing at her will probably help." He started to pull Ruby's diaper off of her once she was settled down so he could start. "You are both allowed to potty your pants until we get home," he told Lizzy. "When we get home, we'll figure out if one or both of you should try the potty or not, but I have a feeling you can't after what I read about you and what you said yourself. I'm not sure if Ruby is having the same kind of trouble though, or if people just don't know how to communicate with her and let her use the toilet."

James smiled and nodded and laid her back into the car and even put a bag under her head with clothes in it as a pillow for her comfort. "No one can see how bit you are, sweetheart, and you can just stay there when I get Ruby, and let her lay her head on your lap so no one will see you get out and confirm how big you are." He thought he saw a nervous look and a reddened face, but even if he imagined it, he knew a young teen would be embarrassed even if she did seem to need things that he was considering the more he thought about it. He pulled down her pants and immediately saw the tinged yellow diaper. "It's okay, sweetie," he cooed at her. "I know it's not your fault especially when I forbade you to go into the bathroom by yourself because I'm afraid of losing you since we don't know each other that well yet. But your file also says you'd been wetting for a while, and you told me yourself, sweetheart. You are going to need help to get back to normal..., probably. That's assuming there isn't anything medical complicating the problem." He hugged her for a second and then pulled her diaper apart. "You're allowed to pee your pants, sweetheart. I'm not going to be upset or mad, and I'm not giving my little babies back or away or whatever. You are MY baby, now, sweetie. You go ahead and pee your pants if you can't help it. Daddy will get you through it eventually and get things back to normal as soon as I can, but I'm going to go slow because more important than your body being potty normal, is you being happy and okay with how things are until we can help you get control, sweetheart." He was sliding a new diaper under her and putting powder on her while he was talking. She needed to be taken care of, so he didn't think it hurt that he changed her and took care of her body. After all, if not he, then who? There wasn't anyone else around and she had said she needed help with diapers earlier. He looked up at Ru-chan in the front while he was in the middle of sliding the diaper under Lizzy. *Lizzy needs help, sweetheart. You never say mean things to her about it. Understand? She is still the big sister. She just needs help.* He looked back at Lizzy. "It's okay. I just told your little sis that you are still the big sis, even if you need help. I think she gets it."

James smiled at the pull ups the children brought to him. Given some of Liz's choices, however, he started to wonder if she was mature enough to be going into middle school. Kids could be really mean at that age, and while the diapers are something he'd try to help her keep secret and not make a big deal over, if they saw the patterns of the diapers, even if they could explain it away enough that teens wouldn't laugh at her, there is no way they wouldn't laugh at her designs. He had to think really hard... about whether she belonged in eighth grade the next year, or perhaps looking for a special needs' school that could teach her at her level, but where kids wouldn't think anything about her wearing and getting changed into and out of diapers. It was probably something he had to look deep into. He wanted babies... he just didn't know he'd be getting babies that were so big. He patted Liz's shoulder and walked the girls to the front trying not to let on what he was thinking. Ruby was also in a difficult situation where she barely spoke any English if any at all, wetting her pants, and who knows what abandonment issues she had from being left by her family.... Maybe if he could get both girls in the same class, it might be good for them in more ways that one. Maybe they would bond a bit, too. He walked his little children out to the car, and with a sigh, as they stood outside the car, he having just put the packages of diapers in the back. "Lizzy?" he kept his voice even and as a steady as he could. He was nervous about it, but it had to be done. "I'm going to go ahead and check you. If you are wet, you get in the car first, and I'll change your diaper and if you got anything on your clothes, then we'll change your pants, too." He set Ruby in the front seat for the moment, on the passenger side. *Just for a minute,* he told her. *I need to see big sis diaper first. She maybe need change. We do it here, so no one judge inside. No one see you big out here. I know baby is wet.* He hugged her and then turned to see about Lizzy. "Crawl in, and lay down. I'm going to change your pants anyway even if you are not wet because I want you to wear some new clothes for once. I understand it might have been a while since you got to go anywhere in something nice."

"I think we should go ahead and get the pull ups now. We don't want you or Ruby to be caught short when I'm not around to help you." He looked over her diapers and smiled. "Those are cute, sweetie." Bluey seemed a bit babyish for a ten year old, but he decided not to say anything about it. If she likes it, then she's the one wearing them, so that should be fine. It's not like he's going to advertise or try to let anyone else know about what keeps her pants dry underneath. *Are you sure you want this one?* he asked his baby girl. Once they had the diapers situated, he took them down the aisle also getting baby powder and other things that would keep their skin soft and healthy, while he waited to see what pull ups they wanted.