Mischa

Holy crap, hadn't updated this in ages!

I was born with cerebral palsy primarily affecting my right side and my left leg, as well as hydrocephalus--basically a defect that didn't allow the fluid cushioning my brain to drain, so I had to have a shunt implanted at four days old.  

These conditions have thus far required six surgeries before I was 12 and near constant bracing of my right leg until about 12 as well. As a result, my childhood was fairly friendless.

I was toilet trained around 2, but was never very good at making it on time, I usually ended up with some pee in my undies.  This led to jealousy of other kids my age still diapered, which led to me being a DL from a very young age.

When I was 5-6, I went in for a revision on my shunt, I came out of the operation a bedwetter--later in life I discovered the outlet of the shunt draining tube is right over my left kidney.  The operation also seems to have interfered with my thyroid, or some other gland, because soon after, I gained weight to the point I had stretchmarks by the time I was in 5th grade.

In elementary school, I began having feelings of depression, the first thoughts of suicide I can remember occuring roughly in fourth or fifth grade.  The depression has had a hold on me for over a decade, at the moment a combination of meds and counseling has it under control.

At about 7, I remember an incident between my mother, her boyfriend, and myself, supposedly I had stayed standing still for four hours during a confrontation.  Only in the past year have I been able to understand the why behind this confrontation.  I have multiple personalities, and that was one of the first manifestations of it.  Hunter had taken control.

My bedwetting finally gradually ended after twelve years.  For most of that time I was not protected by diapers, our family being too poor to afford diapers.  After I graduated high school, I began having more and more frequent daytime accidents to the point that by March 2010, I could no longer control my bladder. In June of 2010 I began losing bowel control, which remains intermittent for me.

In March of 2010, I'd gotten a job at Walmart, it only lasted four months because of my various health conditions. The way Walmart handled my termination caused me to spiral into a weeklong cycle of depression that ended with a domestic dispute with my mother and grandmother and me moving to a homeless shelter for four months.  After returning to my grandmother's place after four months and a promise my mother would change, I found out she hadn't changed a bit within a few weeks, she's still the same loud, foul-mouthed, and self-centered person she's always been.

After moving to the shelter, I began having weakness in my legs, i began using a cane in the fall, and in the Spring of 2011, I was sent to a physical therapist who prescribed two forearm crutches.

I finally got my SSI approved in the summer of 2011, and then after a month, I received another letter that they're finally re-reviewing the first denial which goes back to my 18th birthday, if I get that decision in my favor, it'll be a welcome miracle.

Okay, enough of my life story, here's the juicy stuff.

As a little, I enjoy playing with Matchbox cars, blocks, trains, and plushies.

I can be bratty, I prefer my bigs to be strict but loving, I do not go in for any physical discipline, its too triggery.  

Any big willing to take care of me must love dogs, cause I'm also a furry!  My fursona is a black lab puppy with white points on my paws, tail-tip, and a white patch on my chest.

My fursona name is Cojack or Colby.  I came up with it as a tribute to my aunt's dog Rudy.  She brought him home the day I got out of the children's hospital for a surgery.  He'd stick his nose in the back of my diaper (not a smart thing for a dog to do, he learned though ), when he'd do it, I'd say "how woooode" which morphed into "Rudy".  I considered him like a brother, and when my aunt had to put him down, I never got to say goodbye, she also never gave me his blanket, instead giving it to my other aunt who babysits, and as a result, it smells like baby puke instead of Rudy.

I'm an amateur writer and a foodie, me and one of my friends from the ABDL world talk food on an almost daily basis and kibitz different food ideas off each other.  I specialize in Italian, Asian, and classic American cuisines with an emphasis on sauce-making.

I'm also an artist, but I don't display my paintings here, those who get to know me will get to see my artwork.