Diaper Help Wanted Please! Long Sorry...

[Guest dodgedart]

Ok let me start by saying I have been in Diapers for 3 years or so at night. and pads but as things got worse the last year diapers.

Last vist the Urologist saw me again and said I have Over Actice Bladder and Urge Incont. he put me on Vesicare but it made me sick and stoped up.

So he changed to oxybution but after 2 weeks of no change other than #2 all the time{he asked i try it for 2 weeks} i Called and told him i am peeing on my self so i still need diapers and it is making me #2 all the time so. he gave me the vesicare again.

I never started back on it.

So i am in Diapers 22hours a day and try and take a few to be un diapered for my skin when i can be at home and hit the bathroon every 20 min if i leak and have just a pad.

Heres my dilemma

I talked to my wife and told her i am much happer in diapers feal well than sick with pads incase of a smal leak! She agreed and said it was up to me 100%

She is 100% used to sleeping in a bed with me in a T shirt and diaper and the fact that it is normal now{and has been} for me to be dependeant on them.

Taking the meds does not work 100% so i still need something! Pads would work 90% of the time but it is that 10% that would get me.

Heres the Real Dilemma

I change all my wet diapers I would feal funny being changed! I have asked her before to do it just to see how it would feal to be changed! I was "Thinking it would be embarrassing to have it changed" BUt asked her to diaper me when i was clean out the shower since it is not a realy a "change"

She said nope her diaper days are over now that our kids are old. So i let it go since i never realy wanted her to do it regular just to see/ thought it would be nice to try!

As it is i feal dirty/nasty in a wet one, even last time i was in the hospital i changed my own! When in the hospital My wife and I hid the fact that i needed them!But the nurse's saw me in them when they checked me out! They never asked if i needed one just comented that i had one on!

In Febuary or so I am having surgury again and this time it will make it so i can not Change diapers no way no how!

So I asked my wife what her plans are?

She said you will wear pull ups that you take take on and off yourself! I told her that Pull Ups do not realy work well and leak bad and are only good for small leaks spots! That I need real Diapers!!!!

Are there any good pull ups for men that don't leak?

Other than that i will be stuck with a Codom Cath and bags.

I tried them before and they worked ok but the glue finaly got to me and hiding the bags was hard too.

[nappyloon]

Hi Dodgedart, sorry to hear that you are no further forward with your meds.

Myself-been there and done that with the same result as yourself.

I would however recommend "Tena Slip Maxi" as they last all night for me and take about a Litre of fluid before leaking.

You might also want to consider wearing a pair of Plastic Pants over them to ensure you know about a leak before it gets to the bed-but do bear in mind that Hospitals are well used to people with incontinence both No 1 and No 2 so you will not be ridiculed for needing a Nappy/Dipaer/Pad etc.

Good luck with the forthcoming op-hope it all goes well.

I am making the assumption that you are in the UK so Tena products will be readily available from just about every "Medical supplies" company.

[Guest dodgedart]

I am making the assumption that you are in the UK so Tena products will be readily available from just about every "Medical supplies" company.

Nope not in the UK in the USA i have Tena but are soft covers with a larle plastic front for the tapes. think they are tena classic briefs??

They have 2 tapes a side and no leg tapes{cuffs}

I also have Attends that are plastic outsides with soft insides and 3 tapes a side one top.one center and one at leg. they work best! they fit well and have the leg cuffs so they dont leak under heavy wetting at night.

Plus i like the plastic outer cover better. i wear both but the attends fit smaller and wear better during the days when out in public.

[Repaid1]

Leg tapes are not cuffs. You are wearing one of the worse diapers out there (IMO). I wear 24/7. Tenas in the US are not cut right. But if you know how to wear them correctly then a two tape diaper "can" be better than a three tape.

I'm not here to argue over what brand is best but seriously you need to be personally informed. Go to one of the many medical suppliers on the web that give you samples of the many "higher end brands" then make a informed desision.

Granted body type will allow for only so much, but only you know what will work for you. My personal faviorite isn't everyones. You need to find what works best for you and you alone..Attends.. Please?..Anyone who where's attend never had to depend on them for everyday use. Might as well get depends at the store. As far as Tena's, plastic might be better for You, but not at the cost of a leak. Tena's are plastic under their "cloth", find which is better for you.

I get tired of people saying "I dont like these cause they don't have a waistband".. I have been wearing them all, a waistband is a waste.. if your wearing the diaper right, you don't need one to start with. And the ones out there with one, aren't a actually viability. If you wear a diaper right then the waistband should be pulled tight enough so that it is none existent. If it's not then it serves no purpose. A diapers fit and that which you put on correctly is the answer. Notice my banner and you will see which is the best for me.

I have no waistband, nor do I need one, as my brand the entire diaper is one, it streches across the entire diaper, but to each there own. Try samples of the "best" find what works best for you, nobody is shaped the way you are, so only you will know what is best. Good luck! I hope things work out for you the best, but I have been wearing "the best I could find" for 15 years. my piece of mind is worth more than $1 a diaper, it gave me my life back. Luckly now I get them for 1/2 that, and the Goverment pays for most. Hope it all works out for you. Let us know how you are getting along.

[phogendpf]

Hey sorry to hear about your troubles. I cant believe your wife is making you wear a cath over her having to change your diaper. I would never marry a women who wasnt willing to change my diaper but hey thats me. I personally wear attends as well because they ARE the best diaper on the market currently. Ive tried every brand out there and nothing compares to an attends with a booster. The 3 tapes makes all the difference but its also the softest outer cover and the best fit and amazing absorbency and no leaks!!

[Baby Tom]

What are they doing surgery for that will make you need diapers? I have been through a similiar situation. Althoough i have been diagnosed with the same thing. I have OAB / urge incontinence and got diagnosed about 2 - 3 years ago now. My urologist has tried Vesicare and the patches both of which had problems with. i am a diabetic on top of this and have been a bed wetter until 16 and then started having daytime control issues shortly after that. so part of my problem is controlling my sugar.

My urologist wants me to try to "retrain" my bladder by making trips every 2 hours. I have been wearing diapers for 20+ years now and married. My wife does help change me and other things that I might need to be done in that area. It is better to wake up in a wet diaper than a wet bed and unhappy wife especially if you sleep in the same bed.

I would not mind chatting with you on Yahoo or e-mail. I am on both places so look me up.

[Diapers4Me]

It seems to me that you probably like to wear diapers, and I get this feeling from reading just one of your posts. So if I can sense this from one post, don't you think your wife will have figured this out too? Lets assume she has half a brain and has.

Since she is not into wearing diapers, and has pretty bluntly said her diaper changing days are over, what are you after? If you have surgery and will need help changing while you are in hospital, the nurses will help you. But the hospital may want to cath you so they know how much urine volume you are producing (it is very common for surgery and anesthesia to have urinary side effects). So discuss this with your physician and the nurses at the hospital. Your wife has made her position pretty clear.

Now when it comes to your enjoyment of diapers, it is probably time you discuss this with your wife in an open and honest fashion. It is unlikely she'll want anything to do with this, but some women (not into diapers) will tolerate a little play. But the word "little" is quite variable. To some that might mean once a year, to others that might mean once a month. If she wants nothing to do with them, then you are on your own.

[Guest dodgedart]

It seems to me that you probably like to wear diapers, and I get this feeling from reading just one of your posts. So if I can sense this from one post, don't you think your wife will have figured this out too? Lets assume she has half a brain and has.

Since she is not into wearing diapers, and has pretty bluntly said her diaper changing days are over, what are you after? If you have surgery and will need help changing while you are in hospital, the nurses will help you. But the hospital may want to cath you so they know how much urine volume you are producing (it is very common for surgery and anesthesia to have urinary side effects). So discuss this with your physician and the nurses at the hospital. Your wife has made her position pretty clear.

Now when it comes to your enjoyment of diapers, it is probably time you discuss this with your wife in an open and honest fashion. It is unlikely she'll want anything to do with this, but some women (not into diapers) will tolerate a little play. But the word "little" is quite variable. To some that might mean once a year, to others that might mean once a month. If she wants nothing to do with them, then you are on your own.

Funny thing is I hated wearing diapers when I first started to have to wear them! And hated that fealing of being in one wet,so as soon as I wet in one I have to change even if it was just a little.I would wake up and freak that i was wet!If out in public had to change right then.Now I am used to it as long as it don't leak.

Maybe I am strange but feal as though I am not a DL but a incont. that likes diapers. I like the fact that I am not worried when I go out about wetting my pants or when home wetting the bed.I feal funny when out of a diaper Why i am dependant on them!

Attends and Tena is all the medical stores have here and work well with my smaller shape {i am down to 125 pounds}

I am not worried about getting changed or a cath when at the hospital.

FYI) The operation I am getting is due to an injury and has zero to do with being incont. but will leave me unable to change for 2-3 weeks.

I will proberly use a condom cath/cath.

As far as her not wanting to change me she feals as though it is a dirty diaper,lets face it it is a dirty diaper!!! So I understand so was looking for a better option like easy on off PULL UPS that work.

[Eric D]

dodgedart,

I am not incontinent, I like diapers though, and had to wear them for a medical thing for a short period of time.

Concerning your problem, well when you have to stay at the hospital for 2-3 weeks, unable to change yourself, let the nurses handle that - after all that is part of their duties.

if you have to stay in "home care" for that time... if you can pull down a "pull up" and change those, then I really see no reason why you should be incabable of changing a Tena Slip diaper... unless one of your arm will be restrained / taped up or whatever... but even then with some technique you'll figure out a way...

now, well I understand your wife not wanting to change your diapers without a serious reason to do so... but if you are truly not able to change them yourself and have to stay at home, I would find it odd that she would not be willing to help you out during that time. Talk to her seriously about that issue...

see what you can do yourself and what you can't.

I mean I held a bucket for my Girl when she was sick and had to puke every 15 minutes or so in the beginning, and helped her get to the toilet in a half sedated state due to some serious meds at the hospital... she felt more comfortable having me help her than some stranger. There are nicer things, for both, sure... but if it's a loved one I don't care... I don't care if it's "dirty", smelly or whatelse... ok, I myself have enjoyed a rather profound medical emergency training and have seen my share of blood and nasty stuff, so I might look at things different than your wife. still I believe if a loved one needs help no matter if it's a diaper or something else, then help should be given.

I really don't see from your postings why you would depend on her to change you during that time.... if you're allowed to stay at home in a condition not even able to change your own diapers, than I might consider to talk to the hospital in keeping you there, at least until you're able to take care of yourself... and as mentioned, at the hospital a nurse can help you with your diapers... believe me they have seen worse, and have had to do things quite more "awkward" than changing diapers...

you could try Tena Flex... I've found them to be not as good as a real diaper but quite better than pull ups... and they could be changed easily even one handed... opening and reclosing for toilet visits is easy as well with Tena Flex.

[ThomasInWVa]

I’ve been urinary incontinent since early 2003. In the beginning I would have times lasting weeks where I was fine. But the problem was that it would return with no warning. As the years progressed, those periods of control were shorter and less frequent.

Some times I may go hour or even a few days where I’m ok but I MUST wear diapers. I’m a nervous wreck if I don’t. I know that at any point I can suddenly release a full bladder with no control at all. It has happened. The thought of it happening in public or at work is horrifying.

I had a very near miss a few months ago and I made the decision that I will not stop wearing diaper until I had at least 6 months of absolutely perfect control.

Its not that I like wearing diapers, I don’t. I don’t want anyone to change me. I don’t like having to sleep next to my wife in cloth diapers and plastic pants but I have to.

But I will say this about diapers, I don’t have to worry when I wear them. And that piece of mind makes all the difference. Pads and cheap disposables do not work. I need real high quality disposables or good cloth diapers and plastic pants. I can’t go around worrying about my underwear all the time. I have to have confidence that I won’t leak.

Without diapers I can’t get a good nights rest or enjoy a movie. I certainly wouldn’t have the confident to sell or manage at work but I have to.

I’m very dependent on my diapers. They allow me to function in society. I don’t like it but it is what it is.

If I was going into the hospital, I would wear a disposable and if they had to install an indwelling cath, that’s what would have to happen. It would depend on the type of surgery I was getting. I would never ask my wife to change me if the hospital staff wouldn’t and I couldn’t. If that was the case I would demand an internal cath as long as it was just for a short period of time. Maybe a couple of days. For me, an internal cath isn’t a good idea. I also leak seminal fluid and I would still do so and it would leak out around the cath. This could lead to infections and bacterial issues. So in my case, they may HAVE to leave me in diapers. At which point I’m sure the hospital staff would deal with the changing issues.

I don’t like being in a wet diaper but for cost reasons and the difficulty with changing, I’ll wear a diaper as long as possible.

[Danni]

have you tried these pullups? http://securepersonalcare.com/store/index....amp;cPath=65_76

I've never tried them personally, but their diapers are some of the best I've worn (next to bambino's)