Embracing Oneself - Chapter 11 - 4/15/2024

[CallMeYour_Rin]

Good evening! I know I've kept you all waiting, but Chapter 8 is finally complete and here for you to enjoy. I'll just let the chapter speak for itself. I hope you like it, and as always, thank you for reading.

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Chapter 8: Spaghetti & Secrets
June 4th, 2023. 7:24pm

        My eyes open to the sound of the engine shutting off. That was a hell of a nap. I turn to my left, watching Emma unbuckle her seatbelt. I catch her eye, having noticed my awakening. “Come on sweetie, the quicker we get out, the quicker we can eat.” Groggily, I rub the drowsiness from my eyes before undoing the buckle, and stepping out of the car.

        I step into the parking lot, looking up at the brightened marquee before me; it reads La Luce Della Sera. “The night light?” I ask, unsure of the translation.

        “Close, my love. It means ‘The Evening Light’. But I guess ‘Night Light’ would be more appropriate for you, wouldn’t it?” I can feel my face becoming warm, doubly so when she takes my hand, walking me up to the stained glass doors. We stop just before entering, and Emma turns to look at me. “Now, how do you want this date to go? Would you like to stay in control, or would you like Mommy to take care of ordering for you?”

        Oh goddess, that really pushes my buttons. Should I just give in, and allow her to take hold of the evening? But it’s been so long since we’ve had a real date night. “I think tonight should just be about us, enjoying the evening without play.”

        Emma looks a bit disappointed but accepts my answer. “Alright love, let’s get inside.” Entering through the doors, my eyes take a second to adjust to the bright lighting inside. Hand in hand, we approach the host stand. A young gentleman looks up from his service screen. His well-dressed attire does not match his face, adorned with the horrifying side effects of puberty. I can tell from his skin that he washes daily, but the acne of youth seems to persist. “Hello, welcome to La Luce Della Sera. My name is Matt. Table for two?”

        “Yes, thank you, Matt.” Emma’s voice comes out in that professional tone I know, reserved for business meetings and professional scenarios. I guess this place is pretty fancy.

        “Perfect, we actually have a booth opened up at the moment; let me show you to your seats.” I’m glad we don’t have to wait, I’d probably starve to death if I had to stand here for too long. We follow Matt towards the back end of the restaurant, passing the tables adorned with pristine white tablecloths. I can smell the food of the other patrons, my mouth watering in anticipation. Reaching a small booth at the back corner of the establishment, he places a couple of menus down on the table. “Your server shall be with you shortly.”

        “Thank you, hun. Here, for your troubles.” She pulls a neatly folded Twenty from her purse, which Matt seems to be grateful for. Too many people forget to tip the host.

        “It’s my pleasure ma’am. Let me know if you need anything.” He returns to the host desk after a small bow, and we take our seats.

        I step into the C-shaped seating, sinking into the red-leathered upholstery. Emma does the same, setting her handbag underneath the tablecloth, the accessory disappearing from view. On the dining surface, a pair of menus sit in front of us, and silverware to the sides, wrapped up in maroon napkins. I can almost make out my reflection from the glassy finish of the rolled-up cutlery. 

        “Dang Em, this place is beautiful. There’s such an aura to this establishment, like love clings to the very air,” She places her elbows on the table, clasping her hands together. She leans forward, giving me that smile I so adore. I said something right. One point for Roxie. I can feel my face becoming flushed, and I return her smile with one of my own; perhaps not one of the same confidence, but lovingly just the same, or so I hope. 

        Looking at her now, it’s almost easy to forget that this was the same woman paddling my backside just a few hours ago. But looking at her now, I just see her. I see Emma, the woman who found me years ago, at my lowest point. The one who took me in, sheltered me, gave me warmth, and most of all, gifted me with her love. At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter what role we’re playing, or what contract we signed. To me, whether I call her “Mommy” or “Ma’am”, she’s still Emma at heart, and if I had to guess, it’s probably the same for her. Underneath all the diapers, onesies, and littleness, I’m still Roxie to her.

        But then, like a scratched DVD skipping to a different part of the scene, my mind flashes an afterimage to me. The contract. It says that I should call her " Ma’am " when out and about. Does that apply right now? I mean, I AM diapered at the moment. Even though I’m wearing ‘big-girl clothes’ over it, it’s still there. Are the rules still in effect? Did I already break one of them? I know I won’t find the answer inside my head, so I work up my nerve to ask.

        “Emma, should I…how should I refer to you right now?” My voice comes out as a shy whisper, not wanting those dining around us to overhear. “I mean, I know we’re on a date right now, but with…my current attire…what does that mean? Should I…call you…Ma’am right now.” It seems like I can’t stop blushing tonight. I probably look like a tomato dressed in black.

        This seems to get a humorous response from Emma, chuckling behind her closed hands. Was…was something I said funny? “Sorry baby, I’m not laughing at you, I just wasn’t expecting that one,” I feel slightly relieved, if not a tad bit ticked. “We’re on a grown-up date, so of course you can call me Emma.”

        “Sorry, I just thought…with the contract…” I can’t continue. I feel like I’m wearing a big ol’ dunce cap right now.

        “Oh, I see now,” she unclasps her hands and lays one of them face up on the table, opening her fingers. I place my hand on top, feeling her soft grip around my palm. “Honey, the contract is just a guideline, not doctrine. All it does is give us a clear idea of how we should act when playing; it doesn’t change anything about our romantic relationship. Right now, you’re an adult, despite your special underwear,” I know she’s being quiet enough for others to remain unaware, but I glance around, my paranoia briefly taking hold of my senses. Only after seeing for myself that everyone else is too wrapped up in their conversations do I return my eyes to Emma. “And when you’re an adult, you can assume the contract no longer applies. If we were on a ‘playdate’ on the other hand, things would be different, but tonight, you can call me Emma.”

        I feel much calmer having discussed my worries. I begin to get lost in those beautiful eyes of hers; so much so, that I almost don’t notice the arrival of our waitress.
“Hello, welcome to La Luce Della Sera! My name’s Abby, and I’ll be your waitress for the evening,” Her plucky demeanor pulls all of the emotions out of the air, grounding me back to reality. “Can I start you off with something to drink? I highly recommend the Pinot Noir.”

        NOPE. No more alcohol, ever. My stomach turns just thinking of my drunken escapade. Besides, even if I wanted to drink, I have to drive my car back tonight, so that’s off the table. “Just a Diet Coke for me, please.”

        “And I’ll take a water, thank you.” I can see Abby is disappointed by our choices but writes them down in her notepad, her smile slightly cracking, but remaining on her face. I guess this place is big on upselling.

        “Alright, I’ll get those for you right away. Do you need a moment, or are you ready to order?”

        Shit, I almost forgot why we’re here. I hadn’t even begun to look over the menu, let alone make my choice. I look over to Emma and see her in the same conundrum. “I think we need a couple of moments.”

        Abby gives a small bow at my answer. “Of course ma’am. Take all of the time you need. I’ll be back in a few moments with your drinks.” She rushes towards the back of the restaurant, heading behind the swinging back door.

        No more words are exchanged between Emma and I, each busy burying our noses in the menus before us. I look over the entrees, mouth watering at the tantalizing pictures, before my eyes pop out of my head. What the fuck?!? Did they accidentally type an extra zero…on every price? I don’t think my wallet will survive the night. I’m now regretting spending so much at the card shop, not to mention the double shots from the prior evening.

        “Hey Em, this place might be a bit too…fancy for me,” She quizically raises her brow, unsure of what I mean. “I’m saying I don’t think I can afford these prices right now.”

        “You spent the last of your paycheck on cards and drinks, didn’t you?” I look away, too ashamed to answer. “Don’t worry babe, I’ve got tonight covered. After all, date night was my idea. We’ve really got to talk about your spending habits, but for now, let’s focus on tonight.”

        Says the woman who just set up a nursery in our spare room. I know that’s not fair to think. I know she works hard to earn her massive pay. Besides, I don’t even know how much she spent to get everything put together.

        In fact, how DID she get it together so quickly? I know I was gone for most of the day, but still, there must have been a lot of work putting everything together. More than that, there was the question of supplies. How do you get an adult-sized crib in the span of a single day? Even with her mysterious “friend”, it’s not like something that size can be finished in the span of an afternoon; the drafting, sanding, priming, it all takes a considerable amount of time. From my late nights of reading about ABDL ventures and businesses, I know that a crib is weeks, if not months, of work.

        Not to mention the stocking of supplies. Thinking back, the shelves were full of diapers, some with designs I know weren't in my personal stash. How did she get them so quickly? Even if she ordered them the same day she caught me, even the fastest shipping wouldn’t have gotten them there in time. It’s not like we had a fetish store anywhere near us; trust me, I’ve checked.

        The crib, the diapers, the pad for the changing table, none of it quite makes sense…unless she already had some supplies on hand. Has she…done this with someone else? She mentioned being into Ageplay, but how much of this does she have first-hand experience with? Her actions the other night didn’t feel like that of an amateur. It was too confident, too knowledgeable. What exactly hasn’t she told me?

        The pieces seem to fall into place, but the picture isn’t complete. The only thing that would make the most sense would be that she got a lot of the supplies from her unknown friend, or that same friend was holding onto stuff for her. Perhaps a mix of both? But that leaves me with more questions than answers. Like, what sort of friend would just happen to have a crib ready to go? If he did give her some supplies, was it some sort of favor, or did he ask for compensation? Same with the crib.

        In all the years I’ve known her, I’ve never, not once, seen Emma frivolously spend money. Perhaps this could’ve been an exception? But even that wouldn’t explain everything. If her friend was anything like me, their supplies were purchased for a reason. Someone is, or was, using them. And if that’s the case, whoever was using, or was going to use them, gave them up. Hundreds, perhaps thousands if you count the crib, of dollars of supplies, just given away? Money or no money, it doesn’t make sense to me. Just who is this friend of hers?

        I was so lost in thought, that I forgot where I was for a moment, only regaining my senses by the clearing of a throat to my side. Abby stands next to the table, pen and paper in hand. “And for you, Ma’am?”

        Shit, I was too lost in thought! Quick, what’s a good choice? Umm, AH THERE! “Sorry, I’ll have the Tagliatelle Bolognese, please.” Our waitress quickly scribbles the order down, her patience with me clearly being tested.

        “Alright, that’s one Cod Arracanato and one Tagliatelle Bolognese. Would you like anything else this evening?”

        “No, thank you. That will be all.” Abby accepts Emma’s answer, returning once again to the kitchen to place the order. Damn Rox, now’s not the time to get lost in thoughts.

        “You alright babe?” Emma looks me over, curious about my recent distraction. I wonder if she knows what’s going through my head.

        “Ye…yeah, I’m fine, just hungry is all.”

***

        It doesn’t take too long for our food to arrive, the delicate aroma of authentic Italian cuisine bringing a tear to my eye. Don’t drool, don’t drool, don’t drool. It takes all of my effort to keep my composure, the steaming concoction of sauce, meat, and pasta just begging to be devoured.

        “I hope you both enjoy! Please let me know if you need anything else this evening.” With our thanks, Abby heads off to help the rest of the tables in her section.

        I unwrap the silverware, take the fork, and twist it around in the heavenly dish. I place the pasta in my mouth, slurping up the few strands hanging off the ball. My tastebuds react instantly, the combination of flavors covering my tongue. “Oh my goddess, this may just be the best Bolognese I’ve ever had.”

        Emma laughs in response. “I’m glad you’re enjoying your dish, but you’ve got sauce on your chin.” I quickly pick up the napkin, dabbing my face off before going in for another bite. Whilst my eating style is…unrefined, Emma’s affairs with the upper echelons of society have brought her dining skills up to the pro level, expertly cutting her fish into smaller pieces before gently placing them between her lips. “The cod is impeccable. Would you like to try some?”

        “No thank you, I’ll stick to the pasts.” Yuck, fish. Unless it was a raw piece of sushi, my body rejects the taste of seafood.

        We continue dining, only taking small breaks from the food to wet our buds with the drinks. It isn’t long before our plates sit empty, our food completely devoured. I can hear Emma clearing her throat, speaking up for the first time since the arrival of the dishes.

        “So, about Saturday,” Oh no, I’m in for another lecture, aren’t I? “We didn’t get to talk about any of the fun bits. I mean, Beth, at the card shop, going out for drinks; besides a few slurred comments, I didn’t really get to know how your day went, so let’s fix that.”

        Phew, that’s a relief. “Well, you didn’t miss too much from the card shop. She had a rather outdated deck, so I folded her with ease. Afterward, we started venting about work, and all of Tom’s bullshit, and she figured this kind of talk is better suited to a bar rather than over a card table. So, we get to the bar, start off with a shot, talk shit about the quarterly deadline, and had some more shots. I only vaguely remember the rest of the night. It’s kind of a blur from that point on.”

        I see her twisting the ring around her finger, looking…apprehensive? She’s worried about something, but what? “So, you mentioned something about her having two boyfriends? What’s that about?” Her eyes flicker between me and the glass of water on the table, picking it up and taking a gulp. She rests the glass back down, the liquid inside splashing around from the uneven movement.

        I guess I remember Beth telling me about that. The details could be clearer, but I remember the gist. Why…why is that what she remembers? “Yeah…she told me how they met, and how their 4-year anniversary was coming up. I think it was something involving body shots and a piñata. Why do you ask?”

        Her fingers circle the rim of the glass, a low-pitched whine just barely audible above the hustle and bustle of the busy eatery. It’s a habit of hers that I know all too well. When something is bothering her, or she has something on her mind, Emma’s fingers never sit still. They fidget, almost as if the thoughts in her head are trying to make their way out through physical action.

        “And what do you think of that…Polyamory, I mean? Ha, I mean, it’s kinda crazy, right?” Her nervous laugh stands out immediately. Where is she going with this? I’m getting a clearer picture of the puzzle, with more and more pieces falling into place, but I need to push this a bit farther to be certain.

        I choose my words with precision, and like laying down a trap card, I’m leaving no room for error. “I don’t think it’s crazy at all. Unconventional, sure, but love is unconventional. After all, even a date between two women was once considered ‘unconventional’, but here we are, enjoying the evening. It’s like I always say; love is love, no matter the form.”

        “Yeah, I guess you would say that.” The circling of the rim increases in speed, the pitch increasing to a mid-tone. It’s time for the final nail in the coffin.

        “Emma,” I take her hand away from the glass, holding it tight. She looks a bit surprised at the role reversal, but she doesn’t pull away. “I know when you’re hiding something from me. I can see it as clearly as a full moon in the sky, so don’t bother denying it. This ‘friend’ of yours, the one who helped you out yesterday, there’s more to it than that, isn’t there?”

        It’s hard for me to tell exactly what she’s feeling right now. There seems to be a range of emotions coursing through her: surprise, anticipation, worry, but mainly fear. “It always surprises me how smart you are, Roxie.”

        While I don’t know the details, I know that feeling. The one of being caught, and having something so personal dragged out into the open. It was only just recently that I was going through the same fears, the same worries. I rub my fingers over her knuckles, the reassuring gesture seeming to lighten a bit of the emotional load.

        “You’ve been so fantastic these past few days, listening to me, helping me explore this world of ours. Now, it’s my turn. Tell me everything Amore, and don’t spare a single detail.”

***

        “WOW,” I knew I was right on the money, but damn Emma! I never knew you had that in you! “So you, Alex, and Jessica were an item? I’ve gotta say, that explains so much.”

        “Like what?” Emma’s smile returns, but it’s not the confident smirk that I’ve grown so used to. It’s more…open. Vulnerable, even. I can tell her explanation has left her walls down, the front having been worn to ashes.

        “Well, it explains…everything really. I mean, your supplies, your knowledge of the ‘craft’, the way you handle yourself during our ‘activities’, that all comes with experience. Even with the BDSM background, there’s no way to just instantly translate that into Ageplay. At least, not as effectively as you’ve done. But the Poly part, now THAT was unexpected.”

        “The good kind of unexpected, or the ‘my girlfriend is a perv’ kind?” There’s humor in Emma’s voice, mixed with that remaining hint of negativity.

        “Are you kidding babe? After everything we’ve done with each other, do you honestly think a little Polyamory is going to weird me out? There’s only one thing I have to ask. Why did you wait so long to tell me? I get not letting me know in the beginning; we were still getting to know each other. But it’s been 2 years, Em. You could’ve let me know you had that sort of relationship, even if you left out all the kinky business.”

        Emma looks deep into my eyes, her glossy retinas reflecting the glow of the lighting. “I know, I should’ve talked to you about this sooner. I guess…a part of me was afraid. Afraid of how you would take it. Like, maybe some part of you would feel at fault for me ending things with them. It’s just that I liked you so much, and knowing the relationship troubles you went through…I dunno. Maybe I thought it would be too complex, too strange of a situation to find yourself in. I’ve never felt that kind of fear about anything, for anyone. So I stepped away from two of the people I was closest to and pretended to be this boring, vanilla, in-control woman that I thought you needed. It was stupid, but I guess…I didn’t want to lose you.”

        Oh Emma, you beautiful, sweet idiot. I slide myself around the bend of the booth, getting face-to-face with this amazing woman. “You will never lose me, Emma. Sorry to say it, but you’re stuck with me.” I bring my lips closer, bridging the distance even further. I lock them with hers, ignoring the taste of fish on her breath. For her, I’ll deal with it.

        I break off from the kiss, moving my lips to her ear. “You wanna know what else?” I can feel her bated breath on my neck. “The whole Poly thing? It’s pretty hot.”

        Emma breaks out into a fit of laughs, causing me to back away slightly. Well, that wasn’t exactly the reaction I was looking for. I can see heads turning from the other tables at the sudden outburst, before returning to their own business.

        “So…sorry, it’s just,” Emma tries to get her words out between the giggles. “You’re messing with me, right?”

        “Nope!” I say as I lay my head on her shoulder, the giggles seceding. “You said…Alex was his name? Well, you mentioned his open offer. If that’s something you’re still interested in, I suppose I wouldn’t mind giving some group play a try.”

        I can feel her body shifting into mine, her head tilting down to look at me. “Are you sure Roxie? That’s kind of a big step to take, especially since we’ve only just begun figuring out the dynamic with just us.”

        It’s my turn to let out a chuckle, although not one as loud as hers. “I’m not saying it has to happen right away, or even at all. All I’m saying is that I’m more than open to the idea.” Speaking of openings, I can feel my bladder getting ready to burst. “Oh, and one more thing.”

        “What’s that?” She looks at me for a moment before I close my eyes, letting the dam break. I let out a long sigh, feeling the warmth between my legs. Seconds pass, and I open my eyes to see her staring at me, that confident grin having returned in earnest. “Did you just do what I think you did?”

        “What can I say, the drinks just went right through me.” I look up at her, not noticing her hand moving downwards until I feel her hand along the hem of my jeans. I jump a bit in place. “Em, what’re you doing?” I ask in a hushed whisper.

        “I’m just giving you a quick check sweetie. Don’t worry, you’re completely covered by the tablecloth. As long as you don’t move around too much, nobody will be none the wiser.” I look down, seeing the truth in her words. My body is almost completely obstructed in my current position, but my heartbeat refuses to slow down. I can feel her hand entering into my pants, expertly making its way towards my crotch. I feel her hand gently cup the exterior of my padding through the end of the onesie. There’s no way this is an effective check.

        “Good job sweetie, you certainly filled your diaper up.” Her hushed tones send a shiver down my spine, making it hard to stay inconspicuous. I can feel my member come to life, enjoying the sensation.

        Her hand quickly exits from around my body, and I almost groan aloud at its removal. AWW! Why did she stop? I can see my answer walking towards us, the bill in hand. “Thank you for dining with us this evening. I hope you two lovebirds enjoyed your time at La Luce Della Sera!” Yeah, Abby, I was having a great time until you ruined it!

        I fight my urge to scowl at the poor girl as Emma grabs the check. “Thank you, Abby. We had a fantastic evening. Thank you for your exceptional service.” Emma, how are you always so polite? I watch her grab her purse, placing a few bills inside before handing the check back to Abby.

        “It was my pleasure looking after you two this evening. Ask for me anytime, I’m here most evenings.” With her farewell, the waitress leaves once more to attend to the rest of her duties.

        “Alright baby, let’s get out of here.” Emma takes hold of my hand as we both exit the booth, making our way to the entrance. We wave our goodbyes to Matt, who offers a nod in return, as we step out into the evening air.

***

        The ride over to my car is a short, but sweet one. I refused to let go of Emma’s hand, leaving her with only a single one on the steering wheel. I had hoped we could stay in this bliss forever, enjoying the passing lights of the cars and buildings, but all too soon, we pulled up to the bar’s parking lot. A thing isn’t beautiful because it lasts, right?

        “Alright my love, we’re here. Do you just want to follow behind me?”

        “Thanks, Em, but if you don’t mind, I think I’m going to sit in my car for a moment and just think for a bit.” I had a lot going through my head and could use a moment to sort through my thoughts.

        Emma looks at me, concerned for a moment, before seemingly brushing it off. “Alright, well don’t sit for too long. Don’t forget, you’ve got work tomorrow.” No need to remind me. After all the excitement this weekend, I’m almost looking forward to some normality.

        “Don’t worry, I’ll be back in no time!” I quickly give her a peck on the cheek before unbuckling myself and opening the door. “I’ll see you at home, Mommy.”

        “Okay baby, I’ll make sure a ‘night light’ is on for you.” I chuckle before stepping out into the brisk autumn night and closing the door behind me. Walking towards my car, I can see the lights from behind me begin to vanish as she pulls into the road. It’s been about five seconds, but I miss her already.

        Getting to the door of my own vehicle, I pull my keys out of my pocket, hearing the chirp from my beloved ‘Susie’. “I missed you too, old girl.”

        Hopping inside, I let my shoulders lean back into the familiar cushion. Looking at the passenger seat, I see my bag of purchases from yesterday. Well, now's as good of a time as any. I pull the cassette box out, removing the tape from its shield. I pick up my walkman from the passenger side floor, pop the tape in, and plug in the aux adapter.

        Grabbing my keys, I turn the ignition on, the engine sputtering to life. Glad you’re still kicking my friend. The audio clicks to life, and I notice the very ending of Track 2. “Huh, I guess the last owner wasn’t kind and didn’t rewind,” I say to myself. I open up the glove box, hesitating for a moment before pulling out my pack of smokes. Only fitting for this next track. I just managed to light the tip before Track 3 begins in earnest.

        I let the mellow tones of the guitar fill my ears as I take a drag. Some demons are easier to battle than others. I take just a couple more hits before extinguishing the ashes in the cupholder, leaving the half-finished cigarette to die out. But that doesn’t mean I can’t make an effort.

        I sit there for just a moment longer, listening as the track fades out. So many things have happened, whether it’s the events of tonight or the weekend as a whole. Honestly, I should feel overwhelmed, but I don’t. I strangely feel content. No, that's not it. I feel…peaceful. Even considering the future, something that used to be a source of anxiety, was now something to look forward to. A positive, rather than a negative.

        I buckle my seatbelt as Track 4 begins to play, and I shift the gear into reverse, slowly backing out of the spot. I pull out into the road, looking forward to rejoining my love at home and climbing into our warm bed for some deserved rest.

        Wait, don’t I have a crib now? I wonder if I’m sleeping there from now on. Eh, there’s only one way to find out.

(End of Act I)

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Thank you for reading Act 1 of Embracing Oneself. I'm currently hard at work on the next chapter, and I'm really looking forward to you all seeing what's to come. Chapter 9 should be out in a couple days, barring any delays. Once again, thank you very much for reading.

[Little Lamb]

Cute chapter all around, kinda bummed the exposition of Emma's Backstory was sidelined. But her insecurities and vulnerability were a very nice touch. Although I cant help but feel she's hiding some details... We'll see

[CallMeYour_Rin]

9 hours ago, Little Lamb said:

Cute chapter all around, kinda bummed the exposition of Emma's Backstory was sidelined. But her insecurities and vulnerability were a very nice touch. Although I cant help but feel she's hiding some details... We'll see

I know some people may be wondering about Emma's full backstory, and while I could've just infodumped the heck out of this chapter...well let's just say it would be a bit redundant. Am I possibly hinting at a Side Chapter coming up in a few chapters? Will all of Emma's secrets soon be revealed to you? I dunno 😁.

[CallMeYour_Rin]

Update

Hello everyone, I'm afraid I have some slightly disappointing news. I was hard at work on Chapter 9, having gotten about 3.5k words done, when something disastrous occured. I left for work yesterday, returning home intent to finish up the chapter. When I opened up my laptop, I was greeted with a Windows error (This app cannot be opened). Whenever I would try to close out of the warning, it would pop back up a second later. No matter what I did, the warning wouldn't go away. I have an Alienware Laptop, and apparently the "Command Center" app was misbehaving. I was left with no option but to restart my computer, which I had hoped would fix the issue. When it turned back on, I thought I was in the clear for a moment, before the warning popped back up. Thankfully, I was able to get into Task Manager and force close the program, but then the lights on my computer started to bug out, flashing different colors. In order to fix this, I just uninstalled everything related to the command center and reinstalled the drivers. It took me about an hour to get to this point, and I was already tired, but I was determined to finish up the chapter that evening. I opened up my writing app, and my heart sank. In my haste to go to work, I had forgotten to click save, and since I restarted my computer, about 70 percent of the work I had done was gone, with only the first 1000 words having been spared. I'm currently hard at work trying to get back to where I was, but it will take some time to rewrite what was there. Long story short, there's going to be a bit of a delay on chapter 9. I'm very sorry for having this happen. I'm currently saving up money for a desktop to replace my aging laptop, and I hope in the meantime another issue like this doesn't happen again. Thank you for your patience, and once again, I'm very sorry for the delay. 

[aldl4811]

That’s brutal. I am sorry to hear it. Take your time.

[CallMeYour_Rin]

On 3/30/2024 at 9:51 PM, aldl4811 said:

That’s brutal. I am sorry to hear it. Take your time.

Thank you for the kind words. It was disheartening to lose so much work, but thankfully, I just finished up on chapter 9. I should have it up shortly, which is a load off my shoulders 😁

[CallMeYour_Rin]

Hello, dear readers. I want to thank you all again on your patience for chapter 9. With the holiday having passed, I was able to dedicate a good portion of time to redoing the work that was lost the other night. I think the chapter turned out even better than it was before, but ultimately, how good it is will be up for you to decide. Please enjoy the first chapter in "Act 2" of Embracing Oneself. And, as always, thank you for reading.

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Chapter 9: Bye, Bye, Bye
(CW: Swearing, Deadnaming, Smoking)

July 22nd, 2023. 8:29am

        Opening my eyes to see the bars in front of my face can still manage to get a smile out of me. Stretching my curled-out form beneath my childish covers, I can hear the crinkling of the waterproof sheet beneath me. So far, it’s been an unnecessary precaution, but Mommy insists on it remaining on. “Who knows, your diaper might fail one night from those massive wettings of yours.” Her comment still sits in my mind, like an enjoyable earworm.

        I sit up, rubbing the crusts from my eyes. I can feel the sheet slipping off my bare body, my nipples poking up at the cold morning air. I should ask Mommy to put me in my PJs next time. I look down at my waist, my pink Trest looking soggier than I remember it being last night, the once coral front now a beige-ish tone. I must’ve woken up and gone more.

        Peaking through the crib's rails, I notice just how stocked up it has become over the last couple of months. Once just a lightish rose, the walls are now adorned with vinyl stickers of alphabet blocks and copyright-free princesses. Underneath the changing table, the garbage pail has long since been removed, a large diaper pail having taken its place. The shelves, once barely filled with supplies, now struggle to contain Emma’s purchases. Even with the addition of a new Ikea shelf, the overflow of diapers and toiletries could be described as obscene. 

        Heh, toiletries. Considering my recent lack of a porcelain throne, I found it funny to refer to them as such. The only ‘toilet’ I’ve used in about a month is the one taped around me.

        Speak of the devil. The rest of my body has arisen from its slumber, and nature calls. With almost no effort, I let my morning ritual take over, feeling the cold garment warm up with a fresh wave of wetting. The seconds tick by, my diaper getting saggier as it struggles to absorb the rapid flood.

        Once finished, I place my hand on the front, squishing the padding and feeling the true weight of my act. Doing so, I feel a small droplet make its way down my leg. Shit, is that a leak? Maybe Emma was right to buy the mattress protector. I move my hand away, not wanting to add any more risk of a cleanup. 

        Not that I have to worry about that. Mommy has taken over the role of my exclusive diaper changer and clean-up expert. We talked it over, and decided it would be best if I didn’t handle my own diaper changes while engaging in little activities. There are exceptions, of course. If she is at work, and I’m having a free day, I can make the change on my own after she checks and permits me. If I’m wearing discreetly at work, I’m allowed to use my discretion when it comes to my bathroom needs, whether that's using the bathroom, changing in the stall, or waiting till I get home to deal with it. Once I’m back home though, the game begins again.

        It’s not like I mind it either. Changes have almost become a second love language to us. The way Mommy takes care of me, making sure I’m all clean and dry, makes me feel warm inside; from how she smiles down at me from above, I can tell she feels similarly.

        Speaking of changes, I could desperately use one. I can feel the saturation pooling downwards, and I’m sure that another wetting of any calibur will spring a leak. Looking over to the top of the shelf, I can see the small green light coming from the two-way baby monitor, signaling a live connection. I wasn’t sure about that purchase at first, but I’ve gotta hand it to her; it’s about to come in handy.

        “MOMMY!!! I NEEDA CHANGE!!!” I shout. It may not be necessary to be so loud, but it certainly fits the role. Plus, it’s fun to just let your voice ring on occasion.

        I wait, the sound of static mixed with random noises coming through the speaker. It takes a moment, but I finally hear her voice on the other end. “Just a second sweetie, I’ll be right there.” The static cuts out, leaving just the echo of footsteps off in the distance.

        Soon, Mommy walks through the door, dressed up to perfection. Her work attire never fails to impress. Walking over to the crib, she gently slides the rails down to the ground. “Good morning sleepyhead. Let’s see how that poor diaper is holding up.”

        Her hand goes between my thighs, slipping a finger into the leg guard. “Wow, you weren’t kidding! How about we get you into a fresh one?”

        I hold my arms out, letting her get close before wrapping them around her neck. With a heft, my body is lifted out, with one of her hands along my back, the other on my rear. Bridging the short distance, I’m laid down across the changing table, the cold material against my bare skin causing a jolt to my system. My body heat quickly warms it up though, and my body relaxes.

        “Alright baby, you know the drill. Legs up.” The process is routine now; legs go up, tapes undone, and nethers wiped. So when Mommy stops after placing the new diaper beneath my bum, I’m left wondering what’s up.

        “You want to try something new today?” she asks. Oh, we’re playing this game today! For Mommy, something new adds up to either a new toy being used or a temporary rule being implemented. I remember the feeling the first time she said those words, pulling a pacifier gag out from behind her. Now that was an experience.

        From gags to locking mittens, Mommy never seems to run out of ideas. Even without a new toy, she never fails to be creative. Last weekend, for example, she put me back in my crib immediately after my morning change, handing me a content-locked tablet and a couple of bottles of water before heading off. I certainly wasn’t expecting my day to be spent locked up in one place, but it ended up being a lot of fun!

        I step out of memory lane as Mommy pulls out a small white box. Opening the top, she tilts the box towards me, allowing me to see the bright pink chastity cage inside. “What do you think baby? Wanna give it a try?”

        Oh my goddess. A small gulp goes down my throat. This is definitely something out of my realm of experience, but everything else she has suggested so far has made for an amazing experience. I guess…it wouldn’t hurt to try it out.

        “O…Okay Mommy, I’ll try it,” I manage to squeak out, my voice struggling to form the sentence.

        That was all the go-ahead she needed. Pulling out a small jar of petroleum jelly, she dabs a smudge on her finger, gliding it along the surfaces soon to make contact with my most vulnerable spaces. Taking the base ring, she gently works my parts through it, resting in place behind my bits. The nylon sleeve soon follows, and the barrel lock is engaged with the twist of the key, securing the contraption in place.

        I bring my hand down, inspecting my new enclosure. It…it actually feels nice. The material makes for a comfy covering, and if not for the fact that my mind is getting used to the sensation, I would be hard-pressed to even notice its presence.

        Mommy gently slaps the top of my hand, putting an end to my exploration. “Now, now, the cage is meant to keep your hands away, Little One.” Well, that just makes me want to touch it some more!

        With a dash of powder, the new diaper is pulled into place, and the tapes are secured. “There we go. That should hold you for a while. Now let’s get you dressed!” Mommy picks me back up and places me before the mirror, walking into the closet to decide my attire. Returning in just moments, she holds a dress in one hand and a pair of shoes in the other.

        The dress is rather simplistic, but a verified classic; a black school-girl dress with a white collar and sleeves. With a lift of my arms, the dress is slipped over my head and falls into place. Looking at myself in the mirror, I can now understand why it was chosen. I’m unaware if the dress was tailored to be this short, or if Mommy ordered a dress meant for a child, but the result is the same. Just the slightest amount of movement reveals a flash of the white padding and childish print underneath. Oh well, it’s not like I’m going anywhere today.

        Bending down, she places the shoes in front of my feet, reaching inside and pulling out a pair of long, striped socks, alternating between black and white. I lift one leg at a time, feeling the soft cotton making its way up to my thighs. Next comes the shoes, a simple design of black leather, with a strap over the top.

        I’m certainly looking creepy, kooky, and altogether ooky! Minus my short hair, I’d say I look very close to the classic character.

        “What do you think?” she asks, awaiting my approval. Even now, being the ‘one in charge’, she still seeks my happiness.

        “I love it, Mommy! Thank you,” I say before throwing my arms around her, wrapping them tightly around her waist.

        “You…are very welcome…but you’re…kind of crushing me here,” she exasperates. I lighten my grasp, but hold on to her just the same.

        The hug transitions into a hold, finding myself once again off the ground, being ushered by my authoritative chauffeur. We pass through the doorway, making our way into the living room, where I’m gently placed upon the blanket spread across the floor. I cross my legs, sitting upright on the soft material, feeling the warmth against my thighs.

         Before me is the usual spread. A variety of coloring books, remotes, and my pacifier sit just within reach; everything a Little might need to stay busy throughout the day while her caregiver is away.

        “Alright sweetie, I have to get going, but you know the rules…”

        I pop the pacifier in my mouth and begin listing off my orders, a childish lisp emitting from behind the guard. “No Potty, no big gurl stuff, make sure to crawl, and text Mommy if I need ta change.”

        “That’s right!” Mommy says as she claps her hands, applauding my remembrance. Bending over, she gives me a quick peck on the forehead. “I’m going to miss you so much, baby.”

        It’s only a day, Mommy. I’m sure I’ll manage. I decide against verbalizing my sass, not wanting to be bratty right out the gate. “Me misses you mowe, Mommy. Id geds so wownwy widhowd you.” While part of me cringes at my babble, I do admit that it’s pretty fun.

        Mommy coos at my attempt. “Oh no, well I can’t have my sweet, little girl getting lonely, now can I?” She points ahead of me towards the door of the entertainment center. “Why don’t you check inside? After all, who knows what’s awaiting behind the door?”

        Another surprise? I crawl across the short distance and open the door. Inside the darkness, I almost look over the object inside. If not for the white button eyes, it would’ve been camouflaged from sight.

        I grab ahold and bring the soft object to light, letting out a verbal squeal of delight. “HE’S SO CUTE!!!!”

        In my hands is a plush goat with wings, his black body adorned with two red pentagrams; one across his chest, the other along his head. I flick my finger against his cute horns, giggling just a bit before returning to their crescent shape. HE’S PERFECT!!!!!!

        “I figured it was about time for you to have a stuffie friend to keep you company. I wasn’t quite sure it…” I give her a quick flash of indignation, showing my displeasure at her reference to this beautiful creature as an “it”. “...I mean, I wasn’t sure if ‘HE’ was the most age-appropriate choice, but I guess I was mistaken.”

        I slide my body across the carpet like a batter slides to home base, giving myself just the slightest rug burn as I grab onto her leg. “I love him, Mommy! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

        Mommy lets out a giggle and places her hand on my head, patting it ever so softly. “You are most certainly welcome, darling.” I see a brief flash above me and look up to see her, phone in hand. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist capturing this moment”

        I’m so happy right now, she could be taking pics of my bare ass and I wouldn’t care!

        The time comes too soon when she begins pulling her leg from my grasp. “Okay, okay, I REALLY have to get going now. I’ll see you soon, my precious Roxie.” Taking her steps towards the door, she turns around just before opening it. “There’s plenty of bottles and snacks in the fridge if you’re hungry. Text me if you need anything, I’ll see you at 5. I can’t wait to give you your final surprise. Love you!”

        I get nothing more than that as she closes the door behind her, leaving me to sit in suspense. Three surprises in one day? She’s going all out today.

        I look down at my biggest surprise, holding my new companion close to my chest. “Now, what do I call you? Let’s see…” I don’t need to think for long before the perfect name pops into my head. “I know! Your name is Baphy!” I’m a genius!

        Taking Baphy in hand, I make my way back to my spot, gently placing him down before going prone. Settling into the blanket, I feel the unfamiliar sensation of the chastity cage pushing between my skin and the diaper. Okay, that’s gonna take some getting used to.

        I sit up on my elbows, and the pressure lightens. Deciding I can live with that, I take the TV remote in hand, booting up Netflix. I arrow my way over to the “Kids” profile, a rather new addition to my little routine. Not like it changes anything. Most of the shows I watch are considered ‘For Kids” anyway.

        I look through my limited selection, trying to figure out what to watch. I could go with the usual, but I really want to wait for Emma to keep watching She-Ra. What about… I make my choice, settling on a tried and true banger: Legend of Korra.

        “Baphy, you’re going to LOVE this!”

***

        Uugh, what the hell is interrupting my sleep?

        The buzzing of my phone causes me to awake from my blissful nap. I spread out my legs, accidentally knocking over the collection of bottles accrued from my watching party. Thankfully, they lay empty, so no cleanup is required. Good thing too, otherwise, I’d be pissed. Looking around in my daze, I finally spot the device, having stopped its infernal ringing.

        I swear, this better be Mommy calling, and not some scam call. Clicking the power button, the first thing I notice is the time; 11:52am. Damn, that nap was longer than I thought. The second thing I notice is the notification bar, showing several missed calls. While the number is saved in my contacts, it wasn’t the name I was expecting.

        It’s my day off! Fuck, if Tom doesn’t have a good reason for calling, I’m gonna rip his asshole in two!

        I take a deep breath and decide that calling him back would be the safest bet, no matter how much I despise talking to the sleazeball during my off hours. The phone rings for just a second before I can hear his weaselly voice on the other end.

        “Good to see your phone works! Do you know how long I’ve been trying to reach you? I’m starting to think you enjoy wasting my time.”

        Fuck you asshole, I shouldn’t even be answering you right now. As much as I wish I could say that, I’m not looking to lose my job over a phone call. “Hi Tom, what can I do for you…on my day off?” I let just the hint of sarcasm ring true in my otherwise professional tone.

        “Yeah yeah, I know what day it is. Trust me, I wouldn’t be calling you unless it was urgent. You need to get into the office right away.” Even when asking for my help, he still manages to be an ass about it.

        “Listen, if it’s about the data for the Coleman Group, can’t it wait until Tomorrow? I’m currently busy with personal matters.” Yeah, let me get back to my cartoons already!

        He interjects, cutting off any chance of escape. “It’s not about that. H.R. needs to speak with you, and it has to happen now. I expect to see you in the next hour.” I hear the beep from the other end, and my screen flashes the white letters of “Call Ended”.

        “FUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!! Fucking Asshole!!!” I look over to my side, Baphy seemingly giving me a disapproving stare.

        “Sorry Baphy, I didn’t mean to swear. Looks like my dummy boss needs to speak with me.”

***

        Getting dressed and out the door took more time than I’d hoped. I was almost afraid I wouldn’t get there in time, but I guess the goddess is looking out for me, as I pull into my spot with time to spare. That’s perhaps the only good thing about this bullshit.

        Hopping out of the car, I slam the door shut, strutting towards the double glass doors of the building. I feel a slight breeze against my ankles, my knee-length skirt flowing with the wind. I am glad I changed though. Unprofessional look aside, there’s no way my diaper wouldn’t have just shown.

        Should I have perhaps changed? Maybe, but it’s not like I haven’t worn to work before. What difference would an H.R. meeting make? My only concern is the growing desperation in my bladder. This is just a quick visit, in and out. Then I can get back home, soak this thing, and enjoy the rest of my day.

        I keep up my brisk pace through the entryway, not even stopping to wave at the nameless goon working the desk. Stopping at the elevator, I push the up button, tapping my foot as I impatiently await its arrival. I barely wait before the door opens before stepping inside, mashing the 5f button as quickly as possible.

        It’s not long before the door opens again, the usual rows of cubicles standing before me. On a usual work day, I’d walk the few paces to my capitalistic prison before getting on with the busy work, but not today. I take a right, making my way to the big brown door, adorned with the dickbag’s name.

        I knock on the solid wood, listening for the okay to enter. At first, I vaguely believe I hear a stifled sob before it’s quickly covered up by my boss's annoying voice. “Come in.”

        Twisting the handle, I’m greeted by three faces, where I expected only two. Behind the mahogany desk stands Tom, his face reminding me of an aging bulldog, his cheeks sagging in a permanent frown. Goddess, I can smell his rancid cologne from here.

        To his left is a woman I’ve met only once or twice, her name escaping me at the moment. If Tom resembled a bulldog, I’d say she resembles a praying mantis, her pointed, angled face showing more bone than skin. I believe she’s trying to smile at me, but her eyes, long since drained of light and warmth, tell a much different tale.

        While I expected those two, the other party wasn’t expected in the least. Sitting down opposite from Tom, she looks up at me. Her eyes were puffy and tear-stricken, somberly staring at me from behind her red hair.

        “Beth, what’s wrong?!?” I make my way over to her, placing my hand on her shoulder. I can feel her shaking in her seat as a fresh set of drops stains her blouse. What the fuck is going on here? Why is my friend balling her eyes out?!?

        “Glad to see you could make it, Miss Accardi. Miss Hall, why don’t you head out?” I would perhaps appreciate the woman’s gentle demeanor in other circumstances, but not today.

        Beth doesn’t say a word before rushing out of the office. She just looks back at me with those sad eyes of hers before leaving.

        “Respectfully, what the hell is going on here? Why am I here, and why is Beth crying her eyes out?” Careful Rox, these are your higher-ups. Keep a cool head.

        “Take a seat. Please.” It sounds like Tom has to force the word out of his mouth. Perhaps it’s a foreign word to him. Nonetheless, I sit in the chair, careful to keep my legs together. I watch him shuffle through some paperwork in front of him, looking through the pages. My leg begins to tap, both from impatience and desperation. Can we hurry this up?

        “I’ll keep this brief.” Thank you, Tom, for that at least. “Can you read this document for us?”

        What is this, a literacy test? I look over the text, recognizing it as the monthly report I had filled out a while back. As a lead, one of my many, many arduous tasks was keeping track of those “below” me, providing details on the work efficiency of my staff.

        “I know what it is, Tom. I wrote it myself. What does this have to do with this random meeting?”

        I watch the woman begin to take notes on her company laptop, apparently jolting down my words. Am I in a fucking courtroom right now? Tom taps on the page, his greasy finger landing on a paragraph further down. “And would you say that THIS report is accurate?”

        I feel a lump in my throat as I read my own words, cursing myself for not seeing this coming.

        While Bethany Hall continues to be a bright, cheerful person to work with, her skills regarding data entry are still below average. It is my firm belief that her skillset would be best put to use in another department.

        “Yes, I stand by my words. I feel that she was at her very best when her smile greeted guests at the entrance and that she best served the company while working at the reception desk.”

        I can see the corners of his lips moving upwards. In another world, one might just say his face could resemble a smile. “Thank you for the confirmation. We just wanted to hear the words out of your mouth, didn’t we Annabell?”

        Right, that’s her name! She briefly looks up from her screen, giving Tom a nod before returning to typing.

        I pray that I’m wrong, that this bastard isn’t THAT cruel, but even as I ask the words, I know in my bones what he’ll say. “What did you say to Beth?”

        I can see his teeth showing now, seeming to take great delight at the news he’s about to deliver. “I just told her that she is no longer needed at this company, and to quickly pack her personal belongings before departing.”

        I can feel my blood boiling as I stand up, my chair being knocked backward by the force of my movement. “You heartless creatine!!!”

        “Miss Accardi, please calm yourself!” Annabell’s pleas fall on deft ears, as all I can see right now is Tom’s self-righteous smirk.

        “How could you?!? After everything Beth has done for this company, the shifting of positions, the late nights fixing mistakes, the smile she forces herself to give you, you treat her like this? This is wrong, Tom! It’s abhorrent!!!”

        He walks out from behind the desk, meeting me face to face. His pungent odor is almost too much to bear. I’m tempted to back away, but I hold my spot, not wanting to show weakness.

        “It’s just business,” he says behind his crooked grin, cockier than ever. “If she’s not performing to our standards, then we have every right to terminate her employment. This IS an at-will state, after all.”

        My blood has made its way to my face, and I can feel myself turning red from rage. “She’s not performing to your standards?!? Of course, she isn’t you dimwit! She never wanted to be in my department in the first place, you oaf!”

        “MISS ACCARDI! That’s enough!” Annabell might as well not be in the room, as Tom and I are locked in this stalemate, neither one of us willing to back down.

        “Careful, Riccardo. Your testosterone is showing.” He grins like the Cheshire Cat, thinking his pettiness of deadnaming me will strike a nerve. I’m ashamed to say it, but he’s correct.

“TOM! That’s quite enough!” Wow, you’re such a great H.R. rep, aren’t you?!? That’s literally discrimination!

        “My apologies, Roxanne. I forget how sensitive you people are towards your legal name.” Oh, you cheeky fuck!!! “Regardless, what’s done is done. We’ll find someone with more…experience to replace your missing team member. Until then, you’ll just have to work extra to cover the deficit. I’m sure you don’t mind.”

        I look at both of their faces, one smug in his victory, the other down at her screen, avoiding my gaze. Is that it? Do my words mean so little? Do I mean so little to them? After all I’ve done for this shithole, this is the result? More work, more stress, and more of Tom’s bullshit? I can’t! I can’t do this anymore!!!

        “You know what Tom? Fuck you. Fuck you, and fuck this place. Consider this my resignation.” I can’t begin to tell you the joy I feel when I flip him the bird, his face falling as he takes a step back.

        “Yo…you can’t just quit! You’re a key member of this staff! Don’t be hasty now, Roxanne.” He looks panicked, perhaps only now realizing what a massive mistake he made. Losing a “deficit” was one thing, but losing me, the one who does all the work? Enjoy being in the red, shit-for-brains.

        “You said it yourself Tom; this is an at-will state, which means I can quit at any time. So that means you can kiss my ass!” I walk away, smiling as he begins to yell once again. I don’t bother to pick up what he’s saying though, too delighted at finally being free from his tyranny.

***

        I’m almost skipping as I walk through the exit, the sun having never looked brighter. However, I look to my right, and I can see Beth standing underneath the awning, the smoke in her hand trembling as she brings it to her lips. Poor Beth. She didn’t deserve any of this. Unlike me, she actually enjoyed her job, at least in her old position.

        I walk over to her, eyes closed as she exhales the cloud from her lungs. You know what, I didn’t even know she smokes. Guess we’ve got something else in common. Reaching into my bag, I pull out my own pack, placing the filter between my lips. The flick of my lighter finally alerts her to my presence, her eyes resembling a deer in headlights.

        “Shitty day, huh?” Beth half laughs, half coughs, a small plum of smoke bursting forwards. She leans forward, her hand resting against the support pillar, taking a moment to catch her breath.

        “Yeah, shitty day sums it up nicely,” Beth says with a small smile on her face. I’m glad she can at least manage that.

        “Well, look on the bright side.” I inhale, watching the tip turn to ash. Holding my breath, I gently let it out a second later, feeling the rush get to my head. “At least we’re finally free from this fucking place.”

        “Yeah, the job sucked, but at least I…” She whips her head towards me, the weight of my words finally reaching her. “No way! Did that douchebag fire you too?”

        “Not exactly,” I state with a grin. I wish she could see her face right now. The mix of surprise and confusion is a welcome change after the reckoning upstairs. “I called him out for his bullshit, but he just wouldn’t listen. So…I politely told him where to shove it!”

Beth’s smile, her real one, that smile that brightened up the worst of days in the office, finally returns. “Oh. Em. Ge! Oh, how I wish I got to see that! You’ve gotta tell me everything! How did he react? Did that stupid smirk leave his face? I need details girl!!!”

        Oh, I’m more than happy to share, especially since it brings you joy. “Sure, but maybe we should get out of the parking lot first? I don’t know about you, but I could go for some coffee right about now.”

        “Oh god, yes! You’ve just gotta give me the deets on the way though!” She tosses the butt on the ground, smushing it between her heel. Even though my cig is only half finished, I do the same.

        “Sure thing. Wanna ride with me? I’ve got this sick new album tha…” The world seems to slow down. As I was looking back at Beth, I took a step forward. Not watching where I was going, my foot only made it halfway off the curb, slipping off mid-step. Losing my balance, I topple over onto the paved road, landing squarely on my chest. I feel my knees scrape against the pavement, and the air knocked from my lungs.

        “Roxie! Are you oka…o…oh.” I look back to see Beth, frozen mid-sentence.

        I can see her looking down at me, but not at my face. I crane my head backward and can see the source of her distraction. The fall had caused my skirt, long as it may be, to flip upwards, revealing my secret to anyone who would happen to pass by. To make matters worse, my bladder, having been forgotten due to the rage from before, had finally given out from the shock. I can feel the front getting warmer, pooling downwards due to gravity.

        Oh no! No no no no no!!! I get to my feet as quickly as humanly possible, full-on sprinting over to my car. Hopping inside, I lock the doors before looking up, watching as Beth begins to catch up.

        Sticking my key into the ignition, I twist it, only to be met with the stalling of the engine. NO! Come on Susie! Don’t die on me now!!! I twist, and I twist, but the result is the same.

        “DAMMIT!!!” I slam my hands against the steering wheel as Beth approaches the passenger side door, pulling on the handle. Why does this always happen to me?!? FUCK!

        I can feel the tears in my eyes as I look up at her, her hand placed on the window. “Roxie, can you please let me in? I’m not going to make fun of you, I promise.”

        I go over my options in my head. One, I keep twisting the key, hoping for some kind of miracle. That’s not going to work. Two, I curl up into a ball and hope she goes away. Scratch that. It’s Beth. She’s not going to just leave. That just leaves option 3. I reach over, unlocking the door. No sooner than I do, Beth takes the opportunity to open the door, slumping into the seat.

        I don’t look at her. I’m too ashamed. Here I am again, feeling the shame of my secret being revealed. Fate is such a cruel bitch.

        It seems like we’ve been sitting here forever, the silence ringing in my ears, when Beth finally speaks up. “Shitty days, right?”

        Okayyyy. Wasn’t expecting that. I’m a bit thrown off guard by the redirection of my own words, but more than anything, I wish to keep the silence from returning. “Is that really what you have to say? I mean, you saw…you saw my…”

        “What, your diaper?” It’s my turn to stare at Beth now. How is she so nonchalant about this? “You can relax, Roxie. It’s not the first time I’ve been in…this situation.”

        Okay, now what the fuck does that mean? “Yeah, you’re gonna have to explain that one.”

        “Well, if you must know, I’ve seen this kind of stuff before. Let’s just say that someone close to me is into all that ageplay stuff, so this is nothing new.”

        “How do you know this is a kink thing? Maybe I’ve got a medical condition, did you think of that?” Yes! I’ve got an out! Miracles can happen!

        “Roxie…your diaper has printed bears all over it. Besides, if it was a medical thing, you wouldn’t have taken off like that.” Shit, she’s got me there. I was so close too!

        I finally look at her, not seeing a shred of judgment on her face. She is telling the truth. “Fine, you’ve got me.” I could just leave it at that, but now that she’s mentioned knowing someone…like me, my curiosity has peaked. “So who’s this mystery person? One of your boyfriends?”

        Beth laughs in response. “Oh god no! Jake is such a macho man. I think he’d drop dead from shame if he so much as thought about doing that. And Collin is a different breed. Sure, he crossdresses, but that’s about as far out of left field as he goes.”

        “Wait, for real?” From the pictures Beth showed me, I totally wouldn’t have expected that from Collin. I mean, sure, he has long hair and paints his fingernails, but that’s not uncommon in this day and age. “So, who is it…if you don’t mind me asking?”

        Beth pauses for a moment. “Well, normally I wouldn’t divulge this kind of information…” Didn’t you just out your boyfriend as a crossdresser? “...but in this case, I think it’s fine. After all, she practically tells all her friends about her…what’s it called? Little side? Just promise me you won’t tell anyone, alright?”

        Well, I know she’s… she now, so that rules out everyone I know. Beth looks me dead in the eyes. Honestly, it makes me a bit uncomfortable. I’ve never seen her so serious before. “Alright, I promise I won’t tell a soul.”

        She looks me up and down and decides I’m being sincere. “It’s my sister.”

“Wow.” I’m definitely startled by the revelation. “How’d you end up finding that out.”

        Beth lets out a giggle. “I’ll tell you, it’s not much of a story. She’s always been a bit…different, for lack of a better word.” Okay, that’s not vague at all. “Anyways, a few years back, she met this guy at her job, and I guess he was into some kinky stuff. She calls me up one day, telling me to come over, and I walk into her place to see her wearing a t-shirt and one of those.” She points to my skirt, alluding to my padding underneath.

        “Wait, I’m confused. She invited you over, and she didn’t think to change her clothes? That’s…”

        “Odd?” She finished. “Yeah, like I said, she’s different. Plus, we’ve always been close, so I guess she felt comfortable enough to show me her newfound interest.”

        I just can’t wrap my mind around what I’m hearing. A Little, showing such callous disregard for her secret? The idea alone makes my head spin. “So how did you take it? Her being a Little, I mean.”

        “Well, at first, I was taken aback. I mean, that’s not something you expect to walk in on, right? But she sat me down, explained this whole “Little” thing to me, and told me how happy it made her. Honestly, as long as she’s not hurting someone, she should be free to enjoy whatever weird thing she’s into, right? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t fully ‘get’ the whole thing, but that doesn’t mean I love her any less. And the same goes for you, Roxie. You’re my friend, diapers or not.”

        Holy shit, how do always get so lucky. I always thought people would be so disgusted at me if they found out, but I’m so happy to be wrong. “Thank you, Beth, truly. You’re a good friend.”

        “Don’t mention it. Now, how about we get that coffee, and you can finally tell me about what went on in the office?” She smiles at me, and I hate that I’m gonna have to give her the bad news.

        “Sorry, but my car won’t start. I think the old lady has finally met her maker.” She died too young!

        “Oh man, are you cereal? Are you sure she’s dead?”

        I look at her with my trademarked stare of displeasure. “Of course I’m sure. Watch.” I turn the key, expecting to get the same result, but I’ll be damned. The engine comes to life. Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me! Now you work?

        Beth just looks at me, a smug ‘I told you so” being expressed. “Look, she lives! Now let’s get those coffees!”

***
July 22nd, 2023. 6:13pm

        I pull into the driveway just as the sun begins to set, seeing Emma’s car ahead of me. Great, she’s home! I can’t wait to tell her the good news! Looks like I get to give her a surprise of my own; her own full-time little!

        I open the door, a smile on my face as big as can be. “Hey Em, are you home, I’ve had the craziest day, you won’t believe what…”

        I can see her standing in the middle of the living room, hands on her hips. She does not look pleased in the slightest. “Roxanne Accardi!” Uh oh, she used my full name. I’m in trouble, aren’t I? “You have about 10 seconds to explain yourself, missy.”

        Looking down at the ground, I’ve realized just how big of a hole I’ve dug myself. Bottles were strewn across the floor, coloring books were spread open, and my little outfit was tossed on the ground with little care. Not only did I leave a mess for her to come back to, but I made an even bigger mistake. I didn’t text her to let her know I was leaving.

        Well, I guess my good luck couldn’t last forever.

[Jayme]

19 hours ago, CallMeYour_Rin said:

Uh oh, she used my full name. I’m in trouble, aren’t I?

Gee, Roxie made the greatest thought of the day... She forgot the cardinal rule, Tell Mommy if something happens.

I'm loving this story and eagerly awaiting the next chapter. I fully understand the gremlins attacking the electronics as I've had my share of losses to chapters (40k words lost).

May the gremlins leave you alone and your muse not get silent.

[Little Lamb]

Cant say much that havent already been said. Except that Im loving every bit of the story till now.

Wanna know even more about Emma as the chapters go by.

And it's such a joy and delight to see Roxie's friendship blossoming too. Wonder where that will lead and if Beth's sister is who Im thinking or another 3rd party...

[CallMeYour_Rin]

On 4/3/2024 at 3:46 AM, Jayme said:

Gee, Roxie made the greatest thought of the day... She forgot the cardinal rule, Tell Mommy if something happens.

I'm loving this story and eagerly awaiting the next chapter. I fully understand the gremlins attacking the electronics as I've had my share of losses to chapters (40k words lost).

May the gremlins leave you alone and your muse not get silent.

Yeah, Roxie certainly made a series of "oopsies" that day! Something tells me she's about to regret her choices.

I'm really glad you've liked the story so far 😄. Losing 40k words would literally make me cry! Thankfully, once I complete a chapter, I make sure to save it across multiple drives and devices.

Someone really needs to give those gremlins a good, solid spanking 😉.

On 4/3/2024 at 10:00 AM, Little Lamb said:

Cant say much that havent already been said. Except that Im loving every bit of the story till now.

Wanna know even more about Emma as the chapters go by.

And it's such a joy and delight to see Roxie's friendship blossoming too. Wonder where that will lead and if Beth's sister is who Im thinking or another 3rd party...

@Little LambI always appreciate your kind words. I think you may just be the story's biggest supporter, and I love each and every comment, from the compliments to the criticism.

Don't worry, your Emma curiosity will soon be satiated! (*cough* chapter after next *cough*)

I think all of Roxie's relationships are central to the story, both the kinky ones and the "normies". Don't worry, I won't be leaving that plot thread hanging for much longer! I dunno who you're thinking of, but my answer is....you'll find out VERY soon 😁.

[CallMeYour_Rin]

Chapter 10: Just Desserts
(CW: Swearing, Emotional Breakdown)

July 22nd, 2023. 6:16pm

        “Well? I’m waiting,” Emma states, arms crossed and foot tapping. I can tell that she’s ticked off. Not in the fun, playful way, where we both play it up for the scene, but genuinely annoyed.

        “I’m sorry Em, I just…” I’m cut off by the wave of her hand, her making it apparent that words just aren’t going to cut it. She pulls her phone out of her pocket, holding it up to my face.

        “Do you know what this thing is? It’s a phone. It’s a handy little device! Did you know that you can do this thing called ‘texting’ with it?” Wow, way to lay it on thick Em. “It’s pretty neat! You can send messages to anyone, at any time! Like, to your Mommy when you decide to break the rules and head out without so much as a heads up!”

        Really? That’s what she’s mad about? I had a good reason! “Okay, that’s my bad Em, but you could at least let me explain!” I can feel my anger from before returning, my attempts at stifling the stress from today bubbling through my mental barriers.

        “Then explain! What was so important that you just took off without a word?!? Go on, try to justify it!” Holy shit, Em. If you’d calm down I’d fucking tell you!!! I take a breath, trying helplessly to make my next words calm and collected.

        “It was my fucking job, Emma!” Okay, not as calm as I hoped. I can see my words finally got through to her though, and I don’t have the time to stop and adjust my tone. “My asshole boss called me up outta nowhere, and demanded I get there quick! I just barely had time to make it before meeting with that damn H.R. rep!”

        “Wait, H.R. meeting? Why? Was it about…you know…” I can see her eyes trailing down to my waist. REALLY EM?!? I tell you I had an H.R. meeting, and your mind immediately goes to diapers?!?

        “No Em, it wasn’t about the fucking diapers!!! They called me in there to tell me that they were firing Beth!” I can see the look of shock on Emma’s face growing. “Oh, but wait! It gets better! You wanna know the reason they fired her?!? It was due to a report THAT I MADE!!! BECAUSE OF MY WORDING, I GOT HER FIRED!!!” I can feel the streams running down my eyes. I feel like my tears are boiling from my anger, imagining steam coming off the surface of my cheeks.

        Emma approaches me, holding my hands in front of her. “Roxie, that’s horrible, but it’s going to be okay! I’m sure Beth doesn’t blame you for your boss's actions. Why don’t we…” I rip my hands away from her. I can’t stand to be touched, almost like my rage is turning all that love into more pain.

        “How in the fuck do you know, huh Em?!? Don’t act like you know everything!!!” I try to catch my vile words in my throat, but I can’t stop it now.  “She lost her job! I lost my job!!! And all you’ve done since I’ve gotten back is bitch about a missing text message?!? FUCK!”

        Looking at her face, I immediately feel regret. It’s not her fault today sucked. I should apologize. “Em, I’m sorry. I…” I don’t get to talk for long. Emma walks up to me, grabbing hold of my ear, and pulling me towards her. “OWW! EM, THAT HURTS!” She doesn’t respond, leading me to the corner of the living room. With swift precision, she quickly removes my clothing, leaving my body bare, except for my diaper. I can feel her hands against my skin, guiding me into the corner, my nose making contact with the wall.

        “Stay here, Roxie. I mean it. Don’t you dare move from this spot!” I can hear her footsteps fading behind me. Not daring to disobey, I keep my nose pressed firmly in place.

        I try to count the seconds that pass, turning into minutes. At somewhere around the ten-minute mark, I lose count, but I remain in place. I don’t want to disappoint her more than I already have.

        I don’t know how long it took, but eventually, I heard her return to the living room. Her footsteps getting closer with each beat of my heart. I hear the clink of objects being placed on the coffee table, wondering what she has in store for me.

        Whatever it is, I’ll accept it. I acted horribly towards her. I deserve this.

        I feel Emma’s hand against my arm, dragging me from the corner. I barely have time to register what’s happening before I’m across her lap. “Okay baby, I’m going to give you 50 swats on your bare bottom. After that, we’ll talk.”

        A spanking? Not only that, but only 50? I thought this was going to be a punishment. Even as I feel the back of my diaper being lowered down to my thighs, I’m left confused. I’ve enjoyed all of her assaults on my backside so far, so what exactly would make this one different?

        My answer comes quickly, the thwack of wood against my skin ringing out through the room. HOLY SHIT!!! HOW DOES THAT HURT SO MUCH?!? I don’t know if she’s using some kind of special instrument, or if she was holding back on those funishments, but this spanking was an entirely different beast.

        Another smack makes contact, making me release an audible yelp. The pain is almost too much, but a different part of me is craving the next spank. It’s not the part of me that longs for the sexual side of things, but rather, a smaller voice. One telling me that it’s okay to receive my punishment. That I should just let go, and let Mommy deliver her just desserts.

        “That’s it, baby. You’re being such a good girl, taking your spanking for Mommy.” Even Mommy’s voice is different. Instead of teasing and insults, her voice is soft, and nurturing. Another smack makes its way onto my backside, and my yelp turns into a cry. “Good job, sweetie. Just let it all out.”

        My fragile state doesn’t need any more encouragement. I let out my tears and sobs, as she continues the spanking. I don’t know if I’m even feeling the smacks anymore, wrapped up in my overflowing emotions.

        I’m not counting in my mind anymore. Nor am I angry, or upset. I’m just…crying. What…is this? I don’t think I’ve felt an emotion like this before. It feels…I don’t know, good. Like everything bad is washing away from me, my soul being cleansed through this special ritual.

        I hear her place the paddle back down on the table, but that doesn’t stop my crying. She picks me up, my knees resting on the spaces between her legs. I look at her the best I can through my watery eyes. “I…I’m so sorry Mommy,” I say between sniffles. “I didn’t mean to get so angry.”

        She holds me close, my chin resting on her shoulder. She rubs my naked back, shushing me along with the soothing movements. “It’s okay now, Roxie. You’re okay. All is forgiven.”

        How? How is she able to forgive me so easily? I practically called her a bitch, and told her to fuck off. So why is she always so nice to me?

        I feel my body being moved from its position, back over Mommy’s lap. For a moment, I thought my ass was due for round two, but my fears were allayed with a cooling sensation on my backside. Craning my head, I see Mommy working lotion into my reddened posterior. She takes her time, massaging the salve in with her fingers. I feel my body relax across her lap and enjoy the feeling.

        Eventually, her hands removed themselves from my cheeks, much to my dismay. With a series of tugs, Mommy returns the padding to its rightful place. Even with the cooling effects of the lotion, I can still feel the heat radiating from my behind. The warmth almost traps itself within the diaper, a faint reminder of my punishment.

        With a gentile flip, my body is turned supine, with my head nestled into Mommy’s chest. I look up at her, watching her smile down at me as her lips begin to move.

        “Roxie, do you know why I punished you tonight?” Oh boy, it’s time for the recap.

        I avert my eyes, looking down at my bare chest. “You were angry with me because I was acting up.” I feel her hand on my chin, tilting my head up to lock our gazes together.

        “That, my dear, is incorrect. I punished you because you were spiraling, trapped in your negative emotions.” She was right. I thought I was able to get over the events of today, just burying them down behind a happy facade. All I wanted to do was just pretend that everything was okay, that my quitting was just a positive thing. But that’s not the whole truth. I was still sad, hurt, and angry. “I know you well enough that when you get like that, the best way through is to let it out.”

        Maybe that’s why the spanking felt so different. I look down at the table, noticing the same paddle that I’m used to sitting there. It wasn’t some new technique, or her finally going hard on me. The only difference…was me.

        “So, you weren't spanking me ‘cause you were angry? You looked super mad when I came in,” I say with a bit of confusion still present in my voice.

        I watch her face twist into one of concern. “No baby, not at all! I mean, sure, I was a bit ticked by the mess, and you absolutely should’ve let me know what was going on, but that wasn’t even close to a factor.” Her hand goes from my chin to the back of my head, cradling it with her particular brand of compassion. “I need you to know something, and to always remember it. I will never, not in a million years, punish you out of anger. That’s why I put you in the corner. Do you think it would take me that long to grab a paddle and some lotion?”

        Now that she mentions it, I WAS in the time-out for an unusually long time. I had just assumed that she was concocting some intense way to correct my behavior, but as it turns out, she was just cooling off? I guess I’m not used to such compassion, even after all this time. 

        Mommy clears her throat, in turn clearing my mind, before continuing. “I wanted to take the time to ground myself, and my emotions, before helping you deal with yours. I refuse to punish you when I’m not fully in control.”

        “But, doesn’t that get tiring? Always being the one in charge, the perfect one?” Just having to be responsible for others today almost sent me into a spiral, so how does she manage it? Going to work, dealing with all those people, and then coming home to fix me; must be exhausting.

        “I wouldn’t think about it like that, sweetie. For starters, I’m far from perfect. I make mistakes, just like anyone. But when it comes to you, my beautiful Roxie, it’s never tiring. Caring for you is my ultimate form of relaxation.”

        “Really?” I ask, not seeing how dealing with a grown woman’s diapers and tantrums could be considered “relaxation”.

        “Yes, really. You know that feeling you get, when you sit there in your diaper, watching cartoons and wetting yourself? It feels good, doesn’t it? Like a weight has been lifted from you? Well, I feel the same way when I get to change you, dress you up all cute, and yes, even when I have to punish you. Caring for you, with all the ups and downs, is to me what being cared for is to you. Relaxation.”

        I never thought of it that way. I mean, I knew she got something out of our arrangement, but I just assumed it stopped at the carnal, never thinking that it could be as emotionally fulfilling for her as it was for me. “That makes sense, Mommy. I guess I assumed differently.”

        “Well, that’s because you…” She pauses and taps my nose with her finger. “...are a Little!”

        I giggle at her response and snuggle deeper into her body.

        “Now, how about you tell me what happened? I promise to listen, and not jump to conclusions like before.”

***

        I go over the events from today: the phone call, the meeting in the office, and even the embarrassing tumble I took in front of Beth. I watch the expression shift across her face as I tell my tale, but true to her word, she just listens.

        After catching her up to speed, I close my mouth, giving her the time to process everything. Finally, she speaks.

        “I can’t believe you told your boss to fuck off. Such foul-mouthed language from my little girl!” I can see from her look that she’s more impressed than upset.

        My face gains a blush to go along with my grin. “Yeah, probably not my finest moment, but he had it coming! He probably could’ve used a good spanking himself.”

        “Oh yeah, big time!” she says while laughing. “More importantly, I’m glad Beth was so understanding of your ‘special undies’. You said she already knew about our type of lifestyle?”

        Crap, I guess I did spill the beans, didn’t I? Then again, this is Emma I’m talking to. It’s not like I mentioned it to some rando on the street. “Yeah, apparently her sister is like me. Well, not exactly like me. Beth described her as “different”, and that she was pretty vocal about her littleness with the people she’s close to. Sounds weird to me, but I guess some people are like that.”

        Emma’s face seems to turn to a strange mix. It’s almost like she’s thinking while eating a lemon at the same time, her lips puckered inwards. Is it really that strange? I know people like us are usually pretty closeted, but it’s not that weird, is it?

        “What did you say Beth’s last name was?” Wait, what? What is she getting at? After everything I just told her, she wants to know more about Beth? I think for a moment, trying to decide if I’ve said enough for one night.

        In for a penny, in for a pound, right? Besides, what’s the harm in a name? “It’s Hall. Beth Hall.”

        Her eyes widen, like she just discovered Atlantis, or some hidden treasure. Does she know Beth? Wait, that’s not it. “Emma, do you know Beth’s sister?”

        Emma looks at me with worry, which honestly shocks me to my core. “I…I don’t know for certain, but I might? I will say, that description reminds me of…someone.”

        I can see from the way she looks that she’s not willing to share more than that at the time. Part of me wants to know more, but I don’t want to push that particular button right now. There’s been enough drama tonight. 

        I decide to change the subject. “So…yeah, that’s what happened today. I guess I’m just wondering, what happens now?”

        Emma looks at me, tilting her head just the slightest bit. “What do you mean, baby? About what?”

        “What happens to us,” I ask. “You mentioned the idea of me being a full-time little a while back. Well, I’m fresh out of a job, and seeing as I didn’t leave in the most ‘professional manner’, I think it’s safe to say my career in data entry is finished. Honestly, I’m not sure if I’d even want to go back to that kind of work, even if I could find someplace that would hire me without managerial references. What I’m getting at is, I’m here, free of all other responsibilities. So if you’re still willing, I’d love to be your stay-at-home baby.”

        I can feel Emma’s heart beating through her chest, pounding against my head. “Roxie, you do know what that means, right? Living like this, as a Little all the time? You would be giving up a lot, and things will change. It won’t just be a vacation. You’ll have rules, and chores, and you’ll pretty much be kissing the toilet goodbye. I’m not trying to talk you out of this, but I want you to know what this means. Are you sure this is the life you want?”

        Do you even have to ask? It’s everything I’ve ever dreamed of! “I’m sure, Mommy. As of this moment, Roxie Accardi: the data enterer and adult is dead, and Baby Roxie is born!”

        I don’t expect her to move so fast, but Mommy quickly wraps herself around me, hugging me tight. “Oh Roxie, I’m so happy to hear that! I didn’t want to push you, but I’m so happy to have you as my Little girl for good!”

        We sit there, wordless, just showing our love through affection. I want to stay in her arms forever, but there’s a nagging feeling in the back of my mind. It’s the sensation where I’m just starting to remember something lost, something forgotten over the highs and lows of the day. Hey, I’m glad I remembered something for once at least!

        “Hey Mommy, didn’t you say you had a surprise for me?” I feel her jolt in my arms, clearly having forgotten herself.

        “That’s right baby, thank you for reminding me! Do you want your surprise now? It is getting a bit late, but it wouldn’t take long!” I take a look at the clock, noticing that it’s a quarter to ten. Whilst I feel a tad exhausted, I know how much she was looking forward to showing me whatever she had planned, so how could I let her down?
        “Sure Mommy, I’m awake enough for one last thing!” She gives me a nod, and without a word, she lowers the straps of her dress, slipping it down to her stomach and revealing her bra. Reaching behind her back, she removes it with ease, letting her breasts fall free. Goddess, I love her boobs!

        “Okay Little One, it’s time for your feeding!” Okay, I see where she’s going with this! I’m certainly down for a bit of fake breastfeeding! I bring my lips to her buds, latching on.

        I begin to suckle, expecting a moan, or some sort of praise from Mommy. You can imagine my surprise when my mouth begins to taste something besides her flesh.

        “HOLY SHIT! Mommy, is that milk?” I could barely contain the excitement in my voice.

        She delivers a quick swat to my thighs for my use of profanity, before shoving my head back onto her. “That’s enough naughty words from you! But yes, that IS milk. Modern medicine is wonderful, wouldn’t you agree?” Oh, I’d definitely agree! “Now hurry up and finish your drink, little one.”

        I happily agree, resuming my work. I let her juice wash over my taste buds, the flavor reminding me of the milk left over after a bowl of cereal. It’s sweet, but not overly so. I greedily suck down this gift from the goddess, letting the milk fill my stomach.

        After a while, the well seems to run dry, but without a word, Mommy quickly switches her breasts, letting her other nipple into my mouth. This is perfect. I’ve never felt so relaxed. I…I…

        I can feel myself losing consciousness. Not yet, please eyes, just remain open for a bit longer. As hard as I try, I cannot hold the darkness of sleep back any longer. My mind fades away, my lips still acting on instinct as I drift off.

***

        I guess my little girl was all tuckered out after all. Ever so gently, I take Roxie into my arms, taking great care not to awaken the slumbering little. Picking her up, I begin walking towards the nursery, before something stops me. Looking at the loveseat, I see Roxie’s new plush companion sitting upright, having been placed with care.

        How cute! Even when rushing out before, she still managed to make sure her new friend was comfy. I awkwardly crouch down, grabbing the plush demon-goat in hand. I’m sure she’d want to have her new companion with her tonight.

        With great effort, I’m just able to twist the doorknob enough to open the door. Making my way over to the crib, I place the sleeping girl inside. I tuck her into the covers, and with a final touch, I place her stuffie underneath her arm. “Goodnight, Little One. Just you wait for what’s in store tomorrow,” I whisper into her ear, before placing a kiss on her forehead. She seems to shuffle a bit but thankfully stays in her world of dreams.

        I exit the dark room, making sure to close the door as quietly as humanly possible. Once closed, I let my thought from earlier return. There’s no way that she’s Beth’s sister. The odds are… I have to be sure.

        I make my way to the living room and grab my phone from its spot. Opening up my contacts, I quickly dial the number, each ring letting my nerves sink lower and lower.

        Alex eventually picks up. “Hey Em! Are you checking about tomorrow? Don’t worry, Jessica and I will…”

        I cut him off, not having the patience for pleasantries. “Alec, is Jessica still awake? I need to talk to her, like right now.”

        I can tell I’ve caught him off guard by the brief stutter in his voice. “Y…yeah, let me put you on. Everything all right?”

        “Hopefully, yes. I just need to confirm something really quick.” I hear the sound of movement on the other end, the sound of music coming to a stop.

        “Alright, I’ve got her for you. Just let me…” This time, it’s not me cutting him off, but the rambunctious ball of energy that I know so well.

        “HI EMMA!” I can hear her voice clear, but muffled behind a pacifier. “Did Daddy tell you what we did today?!? We went to the park, and I saw a flock of Brent geese, and I…” Sorry to burst your bubble Jess, but I’ve gotta do this.

        “Red, Jess. Sorry, but this is important.” I hear a spitting sound, and her voice rings out free from influence.

        “Sorry, Em. What’s going on? Was it something I said?” Oh, you poor girl. Both you and Roxie need to learn some confidence.

        “No honey, you’re fine. I just need to ask you something important.”

        “Oh, okay! Is it about the Brent geese, cause they’re really fascinating birds! Did you know there are three major subspecies of Brent geese?” I let Jess go off on her tangent, explaining the creatures in detail. When she gets like this, sometimes it’s easier to just let her finish the thought.

        “That’s super interesting Jessie, but no, that’s not why I called. You mentioned you had a sister, correct?”

        Jessica pauses for a moment. Even she can tell when something is up. “You mean Beth? Well, technically we’re half-sisters, but yeah. Why do you ask?”

        Of course. The universe just HAD to be this coincidental. “Have you talked to her at all recently?”

        “Hmmmmm, nope! The last time I talked to her was when we went out for dinner last Tuesday. Why are you asking about Beth?”

        Well great. First Roxie tells me, and now I have to tell Jess. I hope this doesn’t get back to Beth. Knowing Jessica’s penitent for spreading information, I don’t doubt that the info train will make a full circle. It’s not like I can back out now though.

        “So, funny story. I think Roxie just outed herself to your sister.”

[Little Lamb]

Ha! I knew it!!! Well played friend. Very well played!

My suspicions were mostly on Jessica. I mean, kinda obvious on that dramatically ironic way... but still, for a few seconds I doubted myself and thought maybe Beth's sister was an unknown 3rd party, maybe a complicated ex from Emma's...

Still, nice foreshadowing and "twist?" Anyway, eager to see more of Jess and Alex.

Also loved that you didnt overplay breastfeeding as this magical mystical divine experience like what we're used to see being the norm. Im sure its awesome, still dream of it on the regular... (have you seen my mommy???) But I must say its tiring to always read about it like its this religious/spiritual experience that rivals nirvana.

All in all a very nice chapter. These snippets of whats in Emma's head are damn tantalizing... I really wanna know whats haunting her, cus till now she's been so much of an awesome mommy... Makes me wonder if she's compensating for something in her past, or if she's just as much an insecure scaredy cat as us not so big kids, and should talk it over with a grown up to make it all better...

[CallMeYour_Rin]

Hello! I know it's been quite a few days since my last post. First, let me just say this: I'm so sorry for being gone for so long. I know it's only been about 10 days since the last chapter, but that's still far longer than I'd like to take between posting, and I figured I owed you readers an explanation. I've been trying to write this latest chapter the entire time, but I was experiencing a dreadful combination of burn out and writer's block. The burn out was not from writing, but everything else revolving around in my life. I won't get too personal, but in the span of the last week, my dog had to have surgery, I experienced an injury at work that messed with my lower back, and I was in the middle of a familial spat. Along with my work, this left me drained of almost all my energy, and when I would sit down to write, I could barely come up with a few hundred words before having to stop for the night. The longer this went on, the more I felt the pressure to deliver, and I couldn't stand the thought of posting after a week with nothing to show for it. So...I powered through. Thanks to the wonderful blessing that is caffeine, I was able to work through that lack of energy, and chapter 11 is finally here! Originally, I planned for this to just be one of those prologue "side chapter", but while I was writing it, it sort of became it's own beast. It is mostly a look at Emma's past, but starts and ends at current point of the story. I guess you could say its a "half-side chapter"?

Regardless, Chapter 11 is finally here, and I can't wait to have you read it! One question before the chapter begins though. I've noticed one of the biggest struggles of the story comes not from the writing process, but rather the formatting and posting of the story. I tend to write using google docs, and then copy and paste over to the forum. This carries over the text itself, however, all of the formatting, including the bold and italic words, as well as the spacing for paragraphs, has to be redone. I don't mind doing this, but it does take longer for the chapters to come out. So I was wondering, would you readers like for me to continue with the formatting process as is, taking a bit longer for the chapters to come out, or would you rather I just post a PDF file as an attachment, cutting down the time between posts, but also requiring a download of the attachment? Please let me know which option you prefer, and I'll either keep up with what I'm doing, or start with the PDF's the next chapter.

Without further ado, here is chapter 11 of Embracing Oneself. I hope you enjoy, and as always, thank you for reading.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 11: Memorias Praeteriti
 

July 22nd, 2023. 1:01pm

    Just 4 more hours, and I can get home to my Little One. That’s the thought driving me crazy. Just imagining Roxie awaiting me at home makes the seconds seem like hours. It pains me to be away from her for even this briefest of periods, but the duties of reality beckon.

    Typing away at my keyboard, filling the spreadsheets with numerical representations of value, I try with wavering willpower to keep my mind off my wonderfully gothic girl. I wonder how far along the list she’s gotten? Maybe I should check in on her. Make sure those chores are getting done. No, Emma! There’s work to be done!

    I force my mind back to the task at hand, listing the budgetary restrictions for Mr. Arrelaino’s upcoming “investor meeting.” While I appreciate his business as a client, his idea of necessary expenses leaves me wishing for a stiff drink. Seriously, does he need to spend 12,000 dollars on “executive entertainment?” What kind of high-class strippers does he plan to obtain?

    A buzz from the table draws my attention, a chime of notification begging to be answered. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to take a momentary respite. Holding my finger against the sensor, my phone opens to my wallpaper; a familiar girl hugging my leg is presented to me. I wonder how much of a fit she’d throw if she knew I made that picture into my background. 

    I open up my messages, seeing a simple response from my darling girl.

    My Roxie❤️: Hi Mommy!!! Hope your days going awesome! I’ve got the chore list all fimished up!

    My Roxie❤️: *finished not fimished*

    She already finished everything on the list? Somehow, I find that hard to believe.

    You: Oh really? You’ve finished everything? You better not be fibbing, baby.

The bubble in the bottom pops momentarily before a pair of images appear. The first shows a spotless kitchen sink, the dishes drying off to the side. The second shows an equally tidy living room, sans her personal little spot on the floor.

    You: That’s a very good girl, but I believe there was another item on your to-do list…

    The message cue remains blank, leaving me to wonder if she was telling a little white lie. After all, this IS Roxie I’m talking to. I love my little one to death, but her memory is not one of her most advantageous traits.

    But I’m proven wrong, as a third photo pops up, my excitement building. It shows a selfie of her facing away from the bathroom mirror, her rear in view. Her diaper, in pristine condition just hours ago, now sags with the hefty weight of her mess. The enema clearly did its job well, as the discoloration seems to almost reach the top of the waistband.

    My Roxie❤️: I didn’t forget!

    You: So I can see! You did such a good job, sweetie. I’m proud of you for remembering.

    My Roxie❤️: Thank you, Mommy! Can I have some bouncy time pwease?

    I chuckle at her message. Of course she wants to play around in her messy diaper! Such a dirty little girl I have. I feel the moistness between my legs growing at the thought. I fight against my innermost desire, keeping my hand away from my growing lust.

    Think about anything else! The elderly! A can of rotten tuna! The portrait of Charles V! That did it. I felt the fog clear from my mind. 

    You: Sure, baby. But remember not to have too much fun, and to clean yourself up before I get back. Don’t forget about our event tonight!

    My Roxie❤️: I didn’t forget Mommy. Trust me, I don’t to meet them for the first time smelling like a messy diaper. Love you xoxo.

    The thought of tonight fills me with dread and delight. There are so many things that could go wrong. For starters, Alex and Jessica could decide they don’t like Roxie, or vice versa. Or maybe they all end up getting along, but someone takes something too far. A step in the wrong direction. A misplaced joke. An act gone too far.

    But if the stars align, and everything works out as it should, this could end up being a rather fun experience, or perhaps more than just that.

    My eyes scan across my desk, locking onto the keepsake from all those years ago. The small bit of metal, fashioned into the rough approximation of a coin, seems to stare back at me. I pick it up, feeling the weighty silver in the palm of my hand. The cool sensation fades, my skin warming up the material rapidly.

    Has it really been almost 4 years since that day? I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.

 

***

 

November 15th, 2019. 9:47pm

    The gentle snowflakes fall onto the windshield of my car, remaining for just a fraction of a second before melting into droplets. This early into the coming winter, the cold isn’t enough for the crystals to remain for more than a moment.

    Stepping out into the chilly air, I pull my jacket close against my body, trying to keep warm. Walking through the lot, it doesn’t take long for me to make my way towards the bouncer that blocks the entrance.

    “I.D, ma’am.” His thick accent fills the otherwise empty air.

    “Sonny, don’t you ever get tired of this bit?” My old friend knows my face like a band knows their song: from memory, permanently burned into his neurons.

    “Not a bit Emma. Welcome back to Nexus. Just so you know, your buddy got here a tad before you.” I give him a nod in thanks and make my way inside.

    The leather and lights used to disorient me at first, but by now it’s a familiar sight. Making my way through the club, I pass by the bar, watching the patrons down a variety of themed cocktails.

    “Hey Emma, long time! Could I interest you in a ‘Naked Lady’ perchance?”

    I approach the bar. “That depends, Ava. The drink or the person?”

    The bartender looks me up and down. “Well, I WAS talking about the drink, but wait until I get off and maybe we’ll talk.”

 

    “As much as I’d love for you to get off, I’ve got my hands full tonight.” We both smile at the double entendre. “You seen Alex? Supposed to meet me here.”

    Ava points towards the booth section. “Yeah, he’s down there. Got some blond with him. Another friend of yours?”

    No, but I have some idea of who it could be. “Not exactly, Ava. Thanks for the info. I might be back for that ‘Naked Lady’ later though.” I wink at her before continuing on my way.

    Following along the path, I turn my head to the left, watching some poor sub getting his ass reddened on the Saint Andrew’s cross. I almost stopped to watch the scene unfold, but it’s nothing new to me.

    Reaching the booths, a friendly face smiles up at me, a drink in hand.

    “Emma! Glad you could make it!” Alex steps up from his spot, giving me a peck on the lips. I can sense the faint aftertaste of vermouth on his mouth. “How was work?”

    We both sit down in the half-circle booth, facing out toward the rest of the dungeon. “It was a pretty good day! There’s been talk around the company, and apparently, there’s an opening for an account manager. I’m not hedging my bets or anything, but the talk around the water cooler is that my name is floating around for the position!”

    Alex looks genuinely happy for me. “That’s wonderful news! Should we toast in celebration?”

    “Not yet, my friend. Let’s not count the chickens before they hatch. Besides, I know you didn’t call me here for small talk. Ava tells me that you brought someone along with you!” I let my words tease him like a belt teases against a submissive’s skin. His look away tells me everything I need to know.

    “Yeah…she’s the one I’ve been telling you about. Seriously Em, there’s something special about this one. She’s got…well, let’s just say she’s an interesting character.”

Well, well. Consider my interest piqued. “So…where’s she at? Is she invisible?” Oh, how I enjoy teasing him so.

    “She’s in the bathroom right now, which is kind of ironic. You’ll see what I mean when she gets back.”

    Ironic? What could possibly be ironic about using the restroom? Was she one of those subs who liked to be pissed on? Not my cup of tea, but hey everyone has their quirks.

    I see Alex’s gaze turn outwards, at first thinking one of the various sessions caught his eye; then I saw her. Now I get what he meant.

    I had seen her type occasionally at Nexus. A “Little”, I believe they’re called. Ones who parade around in childish clothing, acting cute and engaging in the softer aspects of our world. She appeared no different, wearing a white onesie with “I ❤️ Daddy” across the front.

    I watch the girl meet Alex’s eyes, and do an awkward sort of hastened waddle toward us. She almost jumps into the booth, landing next to Alex, who manages to scooch himself over to avoid the collision.

    “I’m back Daddy!” the energetic girl shouts, locking her lips with his. Damn, I guess they’re moving fast. 

    Alex and I have an…interesting relationship. While I consider us friends, there’s more to the story. I guess you could use the word “fuckbuddies” to describe our situation, but that sounds a tad too pedestrian. It’s more like we’re best friends, who manage to have some romantic affection from time to time. I even attempted to be submissive for him once, before realizing that my tendencies lean towards the strictly dominant.

    So I have no qualms about his recent…exploration with this new girl. Girlfriend? Rather, I’m more caught off by his choice of submissive. I would never picture him in the “Daddy” role, but watching him look at her with such adoration, I guess he’s taken a liking to it.

    It probably beats the tedium of the usual pool of subs around here. It always seems like the same story. “Spank me harder Mistress. Let me worship your feet? Punish me more!” As much as I enjoy those aspects, the lack of a true emotional bond that comes from meeting people at Nexus can be rather unpleasant. I wonder if someone like her is any different.

    I snap out of my observation, watching the girl stare at me, a big smile on her face. “Hi, I’m Jessica, or Jessie, or just Jess if you prefer! You’re Emma, right? Da…Alex has told me so much about you! Do you come here often? Do you like the atmosphere? What kind of drinks do you like? I think you’d…”

    Alex places his hand on her shoulder. “Now sweetie, don’t you think you’re asking too many questions at once?”

    Realization seems to strike the girl. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” She looks mighty embarrassed right now. “I’m Neurodivergent, or more specifically, I have ADHD and Autism. I’ve been told I can be ‘a lot’ for people. Sorry…”

    The poor girl looks like she’s about to cry, and my heart can’t help but ache for her. “Don’t be sorry. Yes, I’m Emma. It’s very nice to meet you, Jessica.” I stick my hand across the table, offering a handshake. Jessica watches my hand for a moment, almost as if it’s a strange, otherworldly object, before reaching out herself. She grabs onto my hand with just her fingers, offering a simple shake.

    Alex looks rather shocked by the interaction. “Wow, Em. Jess must really like you! It’s not often that she lets a new person touch her.”

    I feel honored by that, Jessica. “Well, I certainly like her too. Not often I see such a cute little girl in here.” Cute little girl? Where did that come from? The words come out of my mouth naturally, like I’d had a deep longing to speak them.

    Jessica looks happy and satisfied, bouncing up and down in her seat. She IS an adorable one though.

    Alex clears his throat, gaining the submissive’s attention. “Sweetie, why don’t you go and get yourself a drink? The grown-ups are going to have a quick discussion.” He hands Jessica his credit card, which she snatches from his hand. Hopping out of her seat, I turn to watch her skip away to the bar. I’m not usually one to glance at another’s ass, but the odd shape catches my attention. The way it protrudes through her clothes…is she wearing…protection?

    Alex catches the path of my vision. “So, you see something you like?”

    I’m thankful for the dark lighting of the club, hiding my embarrassment well. “Sorry, I know it’s not the most polite thing to do.”

    Alex smiles at me from across the table. “It’s alright Em. Believe it or not, I’m kind of glad you’ve shown an interest in her,” He says, a glint in his eye.

    Now my curiosity has reached a new high. At first, I thought Alex had brought me here under the pretense of another night of passion. Then, after meeting Jessica, my mind went to him just wanting to show off. But now, my thought process tells me it’s somewhere in the middle. “Go on,” I implore. “What are you thinking about, Alex?”

    He clears his throat again, sitting upright, positioning himself for a serious talk. “Well, let’s start with what you probably already guessed. You know I’ve been seeing her for quite some time now, but I’ve kept the details of our ‘situation’ under wraps for a reason. I wanted to see your reaction towards her before continuing onwards. What are your impressions of Jessica?”

    That’s a good question. Just how do I feel about the girl? My mind attempts to shield me from the truth. You’re just reacting towards the unknown. The newness intrigues you, that’s all. It’s just the break from normality that has your heart racing. But the wall is cracking, and the innermost part of me begins to shine through, like rays of light through a mosaic.

    And Alex can tell. I can see it vividly. There’s no use hiding it, certainly not from him. He knows me too well for me to tell anything other than the truth.

    “She’s beautiful, Alex. Not just in appearance, but as a whole. Her carefree attitude, the joy on her face as she lights up, even her rather unusual quirks. I can see why you fell for her.” What’s that saying? The truth will set you free? I was never the religious type, but the words seemed to fit the circumstance.

    “I’m glad you think so,” Alex says. “I think she’s wonderful. I never thought I’d fall into the caregiver role, but it’s been incredibly fulfilling: taking care of her, that is. I think she might just be that special someone, you know?”

    “That…that’s great. I’m very happy for you.” While that was true, inside I was also filled with sorrow. Him finally having someone of his own, a submissive no less, most likely meant that our trists together would come to an end. “So, is that why I’m here? You’ve come to say goodbye?”

    Alex’s reaction was not what I expected. I assumed I’d be met with eyes of pity or words of comfort, but his chortle caught me by surprise. “Goodbye?” he says between laughs. “That’s a laugh! No, Emma. This isn’t the end of our fun together. It’s more like an evolution.”

    “An ‘evolution’?” I ask. “What praytell does that mean?”

    Alex opens his mouth to explain but is interrupted before a word escapes from his lips. Jessica returns, a pair of drinks in hand.

    “I’m back! This drink here is for you, Emma. The nice lady behind the bar told me you would like this drink, so I got it for you!” She places the taller glass before me, a small plastic umbrella adorning the crystalline rim.

    I guess I ended up with a ‘Naked Lady’ after all. Oh well, not gonna complain about the free booze. I take the drink, careful to avoid poking my eye out with the topper and take a sip. The liquid reminds me much of the mythological Ambrosia; its golden pallet and sweetness make the drink almost overpowering, but just manages to stay within the range of delectable.

    “Welcome back sweetie,” Alex says with such tenderness. “I was just beginning to broach what we discussed with Emma.”

    I take another sip of my cocktail and watch Jessica become excited at the news. “Oh, did you get to the part about cucking yet, Daddy?”

    I choke upon hearing her words, the once tasty drink burning my throat as I sputter it up. “Wh…what!?!” I ask between coughs. What is tonight turning into?!?

    “Jessica, you can’t just blurt that kind of thing out so nonchalantly. Now, apologize to Emma.”

    Jessica looks down, the top of her knee bouncing just above the view of the table. “I’m sorry Emma. I didn’t mean to startle you at all with my question. I was just curious how far you and Daddy had gotten in your conversation. I’m really, very sorry.”

    Damn. First I’m coughing up my drink, and now I’m feeling sorry for her again. What’s going on with me? “It’s okay, Jess. I was just surprised is all.” I turn to Alex, glaring at him something fierce. “Your Daddy has yet to mention any ‘cucking’ yet. Perhaps he wishes to explain himself…right now.”

    I can see him sweating bullets across from me. “Well, I’d hoped to ease you into the conversation, but fine. We’ll put all the cards on the table. Jessica and I have a…rather strange proposition for you.” His grin attempts to hide just how anxious he’s feeling. Just how “strange” is it?

    “Go on. I’m listening.” My answer is cold and to the point. With these types of scenarios, it’s best to lead with pure words, not getting hung up on emotion. I’ve learned that all too well.

    Alex and Jessica share a look before he continues. “As you know, Jessica is a ‘Little”, and I’ve been acting as her ‘Daddy’ for some time now. Lately, Jessica has expressed her desire to take the roleplay in a new direction. That’s where you come in!”

    I raise an eyebrow. “Right. And by a new direction, you mean cuckolding?”

    Jessica pipes up. “In technical terms, it would be ‘cuckqueaning’. It’s the gender-opposite term for cuckolding. It’s the practice of consensual adultery. Are you familiar with the practice of cucking?” The look on her face tells me that her line of questioning, while strangely presented, is earnest.

    “Only in theory.” I take a swig of my drink, downing the last of the liquid. The taste seems less appealing than before, perhaps due to my recent choking fit. “Let me get this straight. Alex wants to fuck me, and you want to watch?”

    Jessica lets out a single laugh, sounding a bit forced. “It would be more accurate to say I want you to have intercourse with Alex, and that I also want to watch.” She lets out a massive grin, astounding me that seems so innocent could hold such a devious mind.

    “I…I don’t understand. I mean, I get what you’re getting at, but I’m still left wondering why. What do YOU get out of this engagement? Is it the humiliation, or committing to the baby role, or what?” My heart’s rhythm begins to ramp up. I find myself hanging on the edge of my seat, awaiting her continuation.

    “You’re partially correct. A lot of the idea stems from the ideals of humiliation and furthering the roleplay. There’s more to it than just that though. I also think it’s incredibly hot to watch two people having sexual intercourse.” Ahh, she’s a voyeur. This makes more sense. “The idea alone of watching you and Daddy have penetrative sex, while I sit there wearing my diapers makes me aroused. Sitting there, humping my diapees whilst Daddy has his way with a real woman, watching her…Mmmpphh!!!” Jessica is silenced with a pacifier, Alex pushing it between her lips.

    “Too much detail, sweetheart. Why don’t you suckle on your paci for a bit while the grown-ups wrap this up?” Alex’s question was more of a statement, as Jessica slumps into her seat. A solitary suckle from her grumpy face brings a smile to mine. She’s even cute when she’s pouting! “Sorry bout that. She tends to ramble when she gets excited.”

    “Oh, it’s not a bother! I’ve heard Jessica’s side, now it’s your turn. Why do you want this, Alex?”

    I half expect him to look away, perhaps some look of embarrassment to brush aside, but he just looks straight at me. My legs begin to turn to jelly, and I’m thankful that I’m still seated.

    “My part is simple. I get to enjoy the company of my two favorite ladies, and make them both feel good at the same time.” His way with words always leaves me weak in the knees. He can be a real charmer at times. “Plus, we figured you’d probably enjoy the chance to stretch those dormant dominant muscles of yours. I mean, it’s been 9 months since you split with…her, right?”

    Of course, he had to ruin his streak. I…don’t want to think about her right now. I decided to quickly follow up on the subject, not wanting to ruminate on those thoughts any longer. “I get it. We’ve already enjoyed each other’s company, so I’d make the perfect candidate for this type of scene.”

    “Bingo!” Alex’s jovialness continues to shine through. “So, what do you say? Are you interested?”

    I hesitate for a moment. “I…I’m not sure. This is all just…so much. There’s a lot to consider…”

    Alex is about to speak, perhaps to convince me more, when I hear a small pop. I turn over to Jessica, who’s holding her pacifier in hand. Alex looks displeased by the act but says nothing aloud.

    “Emma, how would you like to make a bet?”

    A bet? Alright, consider me interested. I’ll play the game. “And, what would be the nature of this bet, little one?”

    Jessica reaches into the square pocket on the chest of her onesie, pulling out a small, metal circle. The shape is rather strange, not being the most symmetrical of items. “This is a coin that I made by hand. I’ve dabbled in a bit of metalworking. It is made of pure silver and is one of a matching pair. I keep one at home, and the other on me as a good luck charm.” She looks rather proud of herself, seeming to take pride in her craftsmanship.

    “It’s certainly a beautiful coin, Jessie, but you’ve still yet to set the rules of the wager. You might be putting the cart before the horse,” I state, letting my tone reach a level of seduction that I haven’t used in quite some time.

    “Oh yeah, you’re right!” Jessica puts the coin back in her pocket. “Here’s my wager: I bet I can make you aroused without a single word.” OK, that wasn’t quite the wager I was expecting, but let’s see where this goes. “If I manage to do so, you come back with us. Tonight. If I fail, the coin is yours.”

    What a clever girl. In her roundabout way, she not only managed to give me a reason to take the bet, but she also provided me with an easy out. If I did like what she was about to do, I’d have a genuine interest in continuing things, and if I didn’t, there was a reward for being honest. Still, to offer up such a cherished keepsake…she must really want this to happen.

    “Jessica, you can’t just bribe Emma into wanting this. She has to…” I hold my hand up, silencing Alex in his tracks.

    “Okay, Jessie. I accept your terms,” I say, already feeling like I’ve lost this bet.

    I watch Jessica’s legs swing out from the booth, looking at me with a hunger in her eyes. She approaches my side, and I begin to slide over to make room for her, but she puts her hand on my arm, keeping me in place.

    Lifting her leg, she carefully places herself over me, bringing our bodies face to face. Even on her knees, the girl has to look up to make eye contact with me.

    I feel the weight of her body press against me, the softness of her lower body making contact with my pelvis. I hear a slight crinkling noise as she does so. That answer’s my earlier question. I wonder what she plans on doing. Leaning into me can’t be the extent of her plan.

    “Pay attention,” Jessica whispers in my ear.  She closes her eyes, seeming to focus her attention elsewhere. My curiosity only increases when I feel the heat from her body increasing. What is that? Wait…SHE’S PISSING IN THE DIAPER?!? I can just make out a hissing sound from below, leaving no doubt in my mind about the source of the heat.

    Oh my god, OH MY GOD! I can feel a different heat emerging from within me. Jessica had succeeded. I can feel my legs pressing together, the moistness between them evident. I was enjoying this. Jessica opened her eyes, and I could tell from her look that she’d already deduced the effects of her little showing.

    “Looks like I won our bet, Emma.” Damn, she’s right! How? How could that have worked so easily? Just as I’m lamenting my loss, I come to realize the girl’s fatal mistake.

    “Not so fast. Wasn’t the bet that you’d manage to arouse me without a single word? What was it you said? ‘Pay attention’, wasn’t it? I guess that means I won!”

    I can see the look of triumph leave Jessica, the girl having been made aware of her error. She tried so hard too. I guess that counts for something.

    “How about this,” I reach into the girl’s pocket, pulling out the odd coin. “Let’s call it a draw. After all, I am turned on by your efforts, even with your little misstep. I don’t see any reason why we both shouldn’t claim our rewards.”

    I lean forward, pressing my lips against hers. Jessica returns the favor, burning herself deep into the kiss. We continue for a few seconds, before breaking off for air.

    “I…think I…can accept a draw,” Jessica says between her gasps for air.

    I look at her for a moment with my lust-filled eyes, before noticing another set on us. I notice Alex staring at us with a blank expression.

    “S…sorry Alex. I know the plan was for the reverse to happen. My bad!” I say with a cheeky grin.

    “It’s alright, I’m just…I don’t think I can stand up for a while…” I guess he enjoyed the show! I slide across the booth, Jessica moving her legs out of the way, until I’m situated next to him. Judging from the bulge protruding from his jeans, he perhaps enjoyed it a bit too much.

    I place my hand over the protrusion, rubbing it back and forth. This produces a deep groan from Alex, enjoying the stifled sensation. “Well, well. This won’t do at all. We should probably get that taken care of, don’t you think? Let’s get out of here, and give little Jessie here a show to remember.”

 

***

    “Oh fuck! Yes, Alex! Just like that!”

    “I’m gonna cum in my diapee!!!”

    “God, Emma! You’re so good at this!”

 

    The events from that night still sit with me, even all these years later. I don’t know if it’s the work of the coin, a memento from that night, or my plans for the evening, but the memories seem to burn exceptionally bright in my mindscape. That night, those experiences…they just might begin anew!

    A knock at my door snaps me from my daydream. I quickly pinch myself, attempting to distance my mind from the lustrous thoughts and put on my professional mask. “C…come in!” I say, still frazzled by the interruption.

    Andrew walks into my office, holding a manila envelope with care. “I’ve got the previous month’s statements for the Arrelaino account you asked for…Emma, are you alright? You look pale.”

    “I’m fine,” I muster with all the confidence I can pull. “Just a little tired. Thank you, Andrew. You can just leave them on the desk.”

    He does as much before opening his mouth once more. “You know, you should finally look into getting an assistant, instead of having your PARTNER running your errands for you.” As much as I hate to admit it, Andrew has a point there.

    “Sorry, my friend. I know I’ve mentioned that I prefer to get stuff done on my own, but with the increased load, I might just open up that position.”

    He gives me a wink “I’d hate to lose my spot as your pack mule, but it’ll be for the best.” He looks down at my hand, noticing my keepsake. “A souvenir?”

    “Yeah, something like that,” I say, clutching the coin in hand and bringing it close to my chest. “A Memento from a wonderful night.”

    “Neeto,” He responds, clearly not interested in the token. “Well, I just wanted to finish my drop-off before clocking out for the day. I’ll see you Monday?”

    What is he talking about, leaving for the day? It’s only…fuck. My daydreaming had taken up more time than I thought, the clock reading quarter to five. “Yeah, I’ll see you on Monday.” I remain calm on the outside and save my freakout until I watch him close the door upon his exit.

    FUUUUUCK!!! How am I supposed to finish this up in time? I guess I’ll just do as much as I can, and deal with the rest on Monday morning.

    I get back to work, typing as fast as my fingers can allow, hoping to get as much done in the next 15 minutes as humanly possible.

 

***

 

    Mommy isn’t the only one who can plan a surprise! After sending my little tease of a photo, I place the phone down on the bathroom counter. While part of me wants to do nothing more than smush around in my mess, I have more pressing matters to attend to.

    Reaching into the cupboard beneath the bathroom sink, I pull out a small brown box. Peeling the tape off with my fingernails, I open it up, looking at my recent purchase with delight.

    “I can’t wait to see the look on Mommy’s face,” I say to myself. I take a look at my hair in the mirror, taking in the sight of my dark hair. Taking my fill, I pull the hair dye out from the box, as well as the small dyeing kit, complete with brushes, hair clamps, and a small bowl for mixing and holding the dye.

    Let’s do this!
 

[Little Lamb]

I'll just say my monday got a lot more interesting and much much more blushy all of a sudden...

Eager for whats to come, specially if it entail readers as well... 

[LGGrace]

"the drink or the person?" Had me rolling. 🤣