CallMeYour_Rin

Hello! I know it's been quite a few days since my last post. First, let me just say this: I'm so sorry for being gone for so long. I know it's only been about 10 days since the last chapter, but that's still far longer than I'd like to take between posting, and I figured I owed you readers an explanation. I've been trying to write this latest chapter the entire time, but I was experiencing a dreadful combination of burn out and writer's block. The burn out was not from writing, but everything else revolving around in my life. I won't get too personal, but in the span of the last week, my dog had to have surgery, I experienced an injury at work that messed with my lower back, and I was in the middle of a familial spat. Along with my work, this left me drained of almost all my energy, and when I would sit down to write, I could barely come up with a few hundred words before having to stop for the night. The longer this went on, the more I felt the pressure to deliver, and I couldn't stand the thought of posting after a week with nothing to show for it. So...I powered through. Thanks to the wonderful blessing that is caffeine, I was able to work through that lack of energy, and chapter 11 is finally here! Originally, I planned for this to just be one of those prologue "side chapter", but while I was writing it, it sort of became it's own beast. It is mostly a look at Emma's past, but starts and ends at current point of the story. I guess you could say its a "half-side chapter"? Regardless, Chapter 11 is finally here, and I can't wait to have you read it! One question before the chapter begins though. I've noticed one of the biggest struggles of the story comes not from the writing process, but rather the formatting and posting of the story. I tend to write using google docs, and then copy and paste over to the forum. This carries over the text itself, however, all of the formatting, including the bold and italic words, as well as the spacing for paragraphs, has to be redone. I don't mind doing this, but it does take longer for the chapters to come out. So I was wondering, would you readers like for me to continue with the formatting process as is, taking a bit longer for the chapters to come out, or would you rather I just post a PDF file as an attachment, cutting down the time between posts, but also requiring a download of the attachment? Please let me know which option you prefer, and I'll either keep up with what I'm doing, or start with the PDF's the next chapter. Without further ado, here is chapter 11 of Embracing Oneself. I hope you enjoy, and as always, thank you for reading. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 11: Memorias Praeteriti July 22nd, 2023. 1:01pm Just 4 more hours, and I can get home to my Little One. That’s the thought driving me crazy. Just imagining Roxie awaiting me at home makes the seconds seem like hours. It pains me to be away from her for even this briefest of periods, but the duties of reality beckon. Typing away at my keyboard, filling the spreadsheets with numerical representations of value, I try with wavering willpower to keep my mind off my wonderfully gothic girl. I wonder how far along the list she’s gotten? Maybe I should check in on her. Make sure those chores are getting done. No, Emma! There’s work to be done! I force my mind back to the task at hand, listing the budgetary restrictions for Mr. Arrelaino’s upcoming “investor meeting.” While I appreciate his business as a client, his idea of necessary expenses leaves me wishing for a stiff drink. Seriously, does he need to spend 12,000 dollars on “executive entertainment?” What kind of high-class strippers does he plan to obtain? A buzz from the table draws my attention, a chime of notification begging to be answered. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to take a momentary respite. Holding my finger against the sensor, my phone opens to my wallpaper; a familiar girl hugging my leg is presented to me. I wonder how much of a fit she’d throw if she knew I made that picture into my background. I open up my messages, seeing a simple response from my darling girl. My Roxie❤️: Hi Mommy!!! Hope your days going awesome! I’ve got the chore list all fimished up! My Roxie❤️: *finished not fimished* She already finished everything on the list? Somehow, I find that hard to believe. You: Oh really? You’ve finished everything? You better not be fibbing, baby. The bubble in the bottom pops momentarily before a pair of images appear. The first shows a spotless kitchen sink, the dishes drying off to the side. The second shows an equally tidy living room, sans her personal little spot on the floor. You: That’s a very good girl, but I believe there was another item on your to-do list… The message cue remains blank, leaving me to wonder if she was telling a little white lie. After all, this IS Roxie I’m talking to. I love my little one to death, but her memory is not one of her most advantageous traits. But I’m proven wrong, as a third photo pops up, my excitement building. It shows a selfie of her facing away from the bathroom mirror, her rear in view. Her diaper, in pristine condition just hours ago, now sags with the hefty weight of her mess. The enema clearly did its job well, as the discoloration seems to almost reach the top of the waistband. My Roxie❤️: I didn’t forget! You: So I can see! You did such a good job, sweetie. I’m proud of you for remembering. My Roxie❤️: Thank you, Mommy! Can I have some bouncy time pwease? I chuckle at her message. Of course she wants to play around in her messy diaper! Such a dirty little girl I have. I feel the moistness between my legs growing at the thought. I fight against my innermost desire, keeping my hand away from my growing lust. Think about anything else! The elderly! A can of rotten tuna! The portrait of Charles V! That did it. I felt the fog clear from my mind. You: Sure, baby. But remember not to have too much fun, and to clean yourself up before I get back. Don’t forget about our event tonight! My Roxie❤️: I didn’t forget Mommy. Trust me, I don’t to meet them for the first time smelling like a messy diaper. Love you xoxo. The thought of tonight fills me with dread and delight. There are so many things that could go wrong. For starters, Alex and Jessica could decide they don’t like Roxie, or vice versa. Or maybe they all end up getting along, but someone takes something too far. A step in the wrong direction. A misplaced joke. An act gone too far. But if the stars align, and everything works out as it should, this could end up being a rather fun experience, or perhaps more than just that. My eyes scan across my desk, locking onto the keepsake from all those years ago. The small bit of metal, fashioned into the rough approximation of a coin, seems to stare back at me. I pick it up, feeling the weighty silver in the palm of my hand. The cool sensation fades, my skin warming up the material rapidly. Has it really been almost 4 years since that day? I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. *** November 15th, 2019. 9:47pm The gentle snowflakes fall onto the windshield of my car, remaining for just a fraction of a second before melting into droplets. This early into the coming winter, the cold isn’t enough for the crystals to remain for more than a moment. Stepping out into the chilly air, I pull my jacket close against my body, trying to keep warm. Walking through the lot, it doesn’t take long for me to make my way towards the bouncer that blocks the entrance. “I.D, ma’am.” His thick accent fills the otherwise empty air. “Sonny, don’t you ever get tired of this bit?” My old friend knows my face like a band knows their song: from memory, permanently burned into his neurons. “Not a bit Emma. Welcome back to Nexus. Just so you know, your buddy got here a tad before you.” I give him a nod in thanks and make my way inside. The leather and lights used to disorient me at first, but by now it’s a familiar sight. Making my way through the club, I pass by the bar, watching the patrons down a variety of themed cocktails. “Hey Emma, long time! Could I interest you in a ‘Naked Lady’ perchance?” I approach the bar. “That depends, Ava. The drink or the person?” The bartender looks me up and down. “Well, I WAS talking about the drink, but wait until I get off and maybe we’ll talk.” “As much as I’d love for you to get off, I’ve got my hands full tonight.” We both smile at the double entendre. “You seen Alex? Supposed to meet me here.” Ava points towards the booth section. “Yeah, he’s down there. Got some blond with him. Another friend of yours?” No, but I have some idea of who it could be. “Not exactly, Ava. Thanks for the info. I might be back for that ‘Naked Lady’ later though.” I wink at her before continuing on my way. Following along the path, I turn my head to the left, watching some poor sub getting his ass reddened on the Saint Andrew’s cross. I almost stopped to watch the scene unfold, but it’s nothing new to me. Reaching the booths, a friendly face smiles up at me, a drink in hand. “Emma! Glad you could make it!” Alex steps up from his spot, giving me a peck on the lips. I can sense the faint aftertaste of vermouth on his mouth. “How was work?” We both sit down in the half-circle booth, facing out toward the rest of the dungeon. “It was a pretty good day! There’s been talk around the company, and apparently, there’s an opening for an account manager. I’m not hedging my bets or anything, but the talk around the water cooler is that my name is floating around for the position!” Alex looks genuinely happy for me. “That’s wonderful news! Should we toast in celebration?” “Not yet, my friend. Let’s not count the chickens before they hatch. Besides, I know you didn’t call me here for small talk. Ava tells me that you brought someone along with you!” I let my words tease him like a belt teases against a submissive’s skin. His look away tells me everything I need to know. “Yeah…she’s the one I’ve been telling you about. Seriously Em, there’s something special about this one. She’s got…well, let’s just say she’s an interesting character.” Well, well. Consider my interest piqued. “So…where’s she at? Is she invisible?” Oh, how I enjoy teasing him so. “She’s in the bathroom right now, which is kind of ironic. You’ll see what I mean when she gets back.” Ironic? What could possibly be ironic about using the restroom? Was she one of those subs who liked to be pissed on? Not my cup of tea, but hey everyone has their quirks. I see Alex’s gaze turn outwards, at first thinking one of the various sessions caught his eye; then I saw her. Now I get what he meant. I had seen her type occasionally at Nexus. A “Little”, I believe they’re called. Ones who parade around in childish clothing, acting cute and engaging in the softer aspects of our world. She appeared no different, wearing a white onesie with “I ❤️ Daddy” across the front. I watch the girl meet Alex’s eyes, and do an awkward sort of hastened waddle toward us. She almost jumps into the booth, landing next to Alex, who manages to scooch himself over to avoid the collision. “I’m back Daddy!” the energetic girl shouts, locking her lips with his. Damn, I guess they’re moving fast. Alex and I have an…interesting relationship. While I consider us friends, there’s more to the story. I guess you could use the word “fuckbuddies” to describe our situation, but that sounds a tad too pedestrian. It’s more like we’re best friends, who manage to have some romantic affection from time to time. I even attempted to be submissive for him once, before realizing that my tendencies lean towards the strictly dominant. So I have no qualms about his recent…exploration with this new girl. Girlfriend? Rather, I’m more caught off by his choice of submissive. I would never picture him in the “Daddy” role, but watching him look at her with such adoration, I guess he’s taken a liking to it. It probably beats the tedium of the usual pool of subs around here. It always seems like the same story. “Spank me harder Mistress. Let me worship your feet? Punish me more!” As much as I enjoy those aspects, the lack of a true emotional bond that comes from meeting people at Nexus can be rather unpleasant. I wonder if someone like her is any different. I snap out of my observation, watching the girl stare at me, a big smile on her face. “Hi, I’m Jessica, or Jessie, or just Jess if you prefer! You’re Emma, right? Da…Alex has told me so much about you! Do you come here often? Do you like the atmosphere? What kind of drinks do you like? I think you’d…” Alex places his hand on her shoulder. “Now sweetie, don’t you think you’re asking too many questions at once?” Realization seems to strike the girl. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” She looks mighty embarrassed right now. “I’m Neurodivergent, or more specifically, I have ADHD and Autism. I’ve been told I can be ‘a lot’ for people. Sorry…” The poor girl looks like she’s about to cry, and my heart can’t help but ache for her. “Don’t be sorry. Yes, I’m Emma. It’s very nice to meet you, Jessica.” I stick my hand across the table, offering a handshake. Jessica watches my hand for a moment, almost as if it’s a strange, otherworldly object, before reaching out herself. She grabs onto my hand with just her fingers, offering a simple shake. Alex looks rather shocked by the interaction. “Wow, Em. Jess must really like you! It’s not often that she lets a new person touch her.” I feel honored by that, Jessica. “Well, I certainly like her too. Not often I see such a cute little girl in here.” Cute little girl? Where did that come from? The words come out of my mouth naturally, like I’d had a deep longing to speak them. Jessica looks happy and satisfied, bouncing up and down in her seat. She IS an adorable one though. Alex clears his throat, gaining the submissive’s attention. “Sweetie, why don’t you go and get yourself a drink? The grown-ups are going to have a quick discussion.” He hands Jessica his credit card, which she snatches from his hand. Hopping out of her seat, I turn to watch her skip away to the bar. I’m not usually one to glance at another’s ass, but the odd shape catches my attention. The way it protrudes through her clothes…is she wearing…protection? Alex catches the path of my vision. “So, you see something you like?” I’m thankful for the dark lighting of the club, hiding my embarrassment well. “Sorry, I know it’s not the most polite thing to do.” Alex smiles at me from across the table. “It’s alright Em. Believe it or not, I’m kind of glad you’ve shown an interest in her,” He says, a glint in his eye. Now my curiosity has reached a new high. At first, I thought Alex had brought me here under the pretense of another night of passion. Then, after meeting Jessica, my mind went to him just wanting to show off. But now, my thought process tells me it’s somewhere in the middle. “Go on,” I implore. “What are you thinking about, Alex?” He clears his throat again, sitting upright, positioning himself for a serious talk. “Well, let’s start with what you probably already guessed. You know I’ve been seeing her for quite some time now, but I’ve kept the details of our ‘situation’ under wraps for a reason. I wanted to see your reaction towards her before continuing onwards. What are your impressions of Jessica?” That’s a good question. Just how do I feel about the girl? My mind attempts to shield me from the truth. You’re just reacting towards the unknown. The newness intrigues you, that’s all. It’s just the break from normality that has your heart racing. But the wall is cracking, and the innermost part of me begins to shine through, like rays of light through a mosaic. And Alex can tell. I can see it vividly. There’s no use hiding it, certainly not from him. He knows me too well for me to tell anything other than the truth. “She’s beautiful, Alex. Not just in appearance, but as a whole. Her carefree attitude, the joy on her face as she lights up, even her rather unusual quirks. I can see why you fell for her.” What’s that saying? The truth will set you free? I was never the religious type, but the words seemed to fit the circumstance. “I’m glad you think so,” Alex says. “I think she’s wonderful. I never thought I’d fall into the caregiver role, but it’s been incredibly fulfilling: taking care of her, that is. I think she might just be that special someone, you know?” “That…that’s great. I’m very happy for you.” While that was true, inside I was also filled with sorrow. Him finally having someone of his own, a submissive no less, most likely meant that our trists together would come to an end. “So, is that why I’m here? You’ve come to say goodbye?” Alex’s reaction was not what I expected. I assumed I’d be met with eyes of pity or words of comfort, but his chortle caught me by surprise. “Goodbye?” he says between laughs. “That’s a laugh! No, Emma. This isn’t the end of our fun together. It’s more like an evolution.” “An ‘evolution’?” I ask. “What praytell does that mean?” Alex opens his mouth to explain but is interrupted before a word escapes from his lips. Jessica returns, a pair of drinks in hand. “I’m back! This drink here is for you, Emma. The nice lady behind the bar told me you would like this drink, so I got it for you!” She places the taller glass before me, a small plastic umbrella adorning the crystalline rim. I guess I ended up with a ‘Naked Lady’ after all. Oh well, not gonna complain about the free booze. I take the drink, careful to avoid poking my eye out with the topper and take a sip. The liquid reminds me much of the mythological Ambrosia; its golden pallet and sweetness make the drink almost overpowering, but just manages to stay within the range of delectable. “Welcome back sweetie,” Alex says with such tenderness. “I was just beginning to broach what we discussed with Emma.” I take another sip of my cocktail and watch Jessica become excited at the news. “Oh, did you get to the part about cucking yet, Daddy?” I choke upon hearing her words, the once tasty drink burning my throat as I sputter it up. “Wh…what!?!” I ask between coughs. What is tonight turning into?!? “Jessica, you can’t just blurt that kind of thing out so nonchalantly. Now, apologize to Emma.” Jessica looks down, the top of her knee bouncing just above the view of the table. “I’m sorry Emma. I didn’t mean to startle you at all with my question. I was just curious how far you and Daddy had gotten in your conversation. I’m really, very sorry.” Damn. First I’m coughing up my drink, and now I’m feeling sorry for her again. What’s going on with me? “It’s okay, Jess. I was just surprised is all.” I turn to Alex, glaring at him something fierce. “Your Daddy has yet to mention any ‘cucking’ yet. Perhaps he wishes to explain himself…right now.” I can see him sweating bullets across from me. “Well, I’d hoped to ease you into the conversation, but fine. We’ll put all the cards on the table. Jessica and I have a…rather strange proposition for you.” His grin attempts to hide just how anxious he’s feeling. Just how “strange” is it? “Go on. I’m listening.” My answer is cold and to the point. With these types of scenarios, it’s best to lead with pure words, not getting hung up on emotion. I’ve learned that all too well. Alex and Jessica share a look before he continues. “As you know, Jessica is a ‘Little”, and I’ve been acting as her ‘Daddy’ for some time now. Lately, Jessica has expressed her desire to take the roleplay in a new direction. That’s where you come in!” I raise an eyebrow. “Right. And by a new direction, you mean cuckolding?” Jessica pipes up. “In technical terms, it would be ‘cuckqueaning’. It’s the gender-opposite term for cuckolding. It’s the practice of consensual adultery. Are you familiar with the practice of cucking?” The look on her face tells me that her line of questioning, while strangely presented, is earnest. “Only in theory.” I take a swig of my drink, downing the last of the liquid. The taste seems less appealing than before, perhaps due to my recent choking fit. “Let me get this straight. Alex wants to fuck me, and you want to watch?” Jessica lets out a single laugh, sounding a bit forced. “It would be more accurate to say I want you to have intercourse with Alex, and that I also want to watch.” She lets out a massive grin, astounding me that seems so innocent could hold such a devious mind. “I…I don’t understand. I mean, I get what you’re getting at, but I’m still left wondering why. What do YOU get out of this engagement? Is it the humiliation, or committing to the baby role, or what?” My heart’s rhythm begins to ramp up. I find myself hanging on the edge of my seat, awaiting her continuation. “You’re partially correct. A lot of the idea stems from the ideals of humiliation and furthering the roleplay. There’s more to it than just that though. I also think it’s incredibly hot to watch two people having sexual intercourse.” Ahh, she’s a voyeur. This makes more sense. “The idea alone of watching you and Daddy have penetrative sex, while I sit there wearing my diapers makes me aroused. Sitting there, humping my diapees whilst Daddy has his way with a real woman, watching her…Mmmpphh!!!” Jessica is silenced with a pacifier, Alex pushing it between her lips. “Too much detail, sweetheart. Why don’t you suckle on your paci for a bit while the grown-ups wrap this up?” Alex’s question was more of a statement, as Jessica slumps into her seat. A solitary suckle from her grumpy face brings a smile to mine. She’s even cute when she’s pouting! “Sorry bout that. She tends to ramble when she gets excited.” “Oh, it’s not a bother! I’ve heard Jessica’s side, now it’s your turn. Why do you want this, Alex?” I half expect him to look away, perhaps some look of embarrassment to brush aside, but he just looks straight at me. My legs begin to turn to jelly, and I’m thankful that I’m still seated. “My part is simple. I get to enjoy the company of my two favorite ladies, and make them both feel good at the same time.” His way with words always leaves me weak in the knees. He can be a real charmer at times. “Plus, we figured you’d probably enjoy the chance to stretch those dormant dominant muscles of yours. I mean, it’s been 9 months since you split with…her, right?” Of course, he had to ruin his streak. I…don’t want to think about her right now. I decided to quickly follow up on the subject, not wanting to ruminate on those thoughts any longer. “I get it. We’ve already enjoyed each other’s company, so I’d make the perfect candidate for this type of scene.” “Bingo!” Alex’s jovialness continues to shine through. “So, what do you say? Are you interested?” I hesitate for a moment. “I…I’m not sure. This is all just…so much. There’s a lot to consider…” Alex is about to speak, perhaps to convince me more, when I hear a small pop. I turn over to Jessica, who’s holding her pacifier in hand. Alex looks displeased by the act but says nothing aloud. “Emma, how would you like to make a bet?” A bet? Alright, consider me interested. I’ll play the game. “And, what would be the nature of this bet, little one?” Jessica reaches into the square pocket on the chest of her onesie, pulling out a small, metal circle. The shape is rather strange, not being the most symmetrical of items. “This is a coin that I made by hand. I’ve dabbled in a bit of metalworking. It is made of pure silver and is one of a matching pair. I keep one at home, and the other on me as a good luck charm.” She looks rather proud of herself, seeming to take pride in her craftsmanship. “It’s certainly a beautiful coin, Jessie, but you’ve still yet to set the rules of the wager. You might be putting the cart before the horse,” I state, letting my tone reach a level of seduction that I haven’t used in quite some time. “Oh yeah, you’re right!” Jessica puts the coin back in her pocket. “Here’s my wager: I bet I can make you aroused without a single word.” OK, that wasn’t quite the wager I was expecting, but let’s see where this goes. “If I manage to do so, you come back with us. Tonight. If I fail, the coin is yours.” What a clever girl. In her roundabout way, she not only managed to give me a reason to take the bet, but she also provided me with an easy out. If I did like what she was about to do, I’d have a genuine interest in continuing things, and if I didn’t, there was a reward for being honest. Still, to offer up such a cherished keepsake…she must really want this to happen. “Jessica, you can’t just bribe Emma into wanting this. She has to…” I hold my hand up, silencing Alex in his tracks. “Okay, Jessie. I accept your terms,” I say, already feeling like I’ve lost this bet. I watch Jessica’s legs swing out from the booth, looking at me with a hunger in her eyes. She approaches my side, and I begin to slide over to make room for her, but she puts her hand on my arm, keeping me in place. Lifting her leg, she carefully places herself over me, bringing our bodies face to face. Even on her knees, the girl has to look up to make eye contact with me. I feel the weight of her body press against me, the softness of her lower body making contact with my pelvis. I hear a slight crinkling noise as she does so. That answer’s my earlier question. I wonder what she plans on doing. Leaning into me can’t be the extent of her plan. “Pay attention,” Jessica whispers in my ear. She closes her eyes, seeming to focus her attention elsewhere. My curiosity only increases when I feel the heat from her body increasing. What is that? Wait…SHE’S PISSING IN THE DIAPER?!? I can just make out a hissing sound from below, leaving no doubt in my mind about the source of the heat. Oh my god, OH MY GOD! I can feel a different heat emerging from within me. Jessica had succeeded. I can feel my legs pressing together, the moistness between them evident. I was enjoying this. Jessica opened her eyes, and I could tell from her look that she’d already deduced the effects of her little showing. “Looks like I won our bet, Emma.” Damn, she’s right! How? How could that have worked so easily? Just as I’m lamenting my loss, I come to realize the girl’s fatal mistake. “Not so fast. Wasn’t the bet that you’d manage to arouse me without a single word? What was it you said? ‘Pay attention’, wasn’t it? I guess that means I won!” I can see the look of triumph leave Jessica, the girl having been made aware of her error. She tried so hard too. I guess that counts for something. “How about this,” I reach into the girl’s pocket, pulling out the odd coin. “Let’s call it a draw. After all, I am turned on by your efforts, even with your little misstep. I don’t see any reason why we both shouldn’t claim our rewards.” I lean forward, pressing my lips against hers. Jessica returns the favor, burning herself deep into the kiss. We continue for a few seconds, before breaking off for air. “I…think I…can accept a draw,” Jessica says between her gasps for air. I look at her for a moment with my lust-filled eyes, before noticing another set on us. I notice Alex staring at us with a blank expression. “S…sorry Alex. I know the plan was for the reverse to happen. My bad!” I say with a cheeky grin. “It’s alright, I’m just…I don’t think I can stand up for a while…” I guess he enjoyed the show! I slide across the booth, Jessica moving her legs out of the way, until I’m situated next to him. Judging from the bulge protruding from his jeans, he perhaps enjoyed it a bit too much. I place my hand over the protrusion, rubbing it back and forth. This produces a deep groan from Alex, enjoying the stifled sensation. “Well, well. This won’t do at all. We should probably get that taken care of, don’t you think? Let’s get out of here, and give little Jessie here a show to remember.” *** “Oh fuck! Yes, Alex! Just like that!” “I’m gonna cum in my diapee!!!” “God, Emma! You’re so good at this!” The events from that night still sit with me, even all these years later. I don’t know if it’s the work of the coin, a memento from that night, or my plans for the evening, but the memories seem to burn exceptionally bright in my mindscape. That night, those experiences…they just might begin anew! A knock at my door snaps me from my daydream. I quickly pinch myself, attempting to distance my mind from the lustrous thoughts and put on my professional mask. “C…come in!” I say, still frazzled by the interruption. Andrew walks into my office, holding a manila envelope with care. “I’ve got the previous month’s statements for the Arrelaino account you asked for…Emma, are you alright? You look pale.” “I’m fine,” I muster with all the confidence I can pull. “Just a little tired. Thank you, Andrew. You can just leave them on the desk.” He does as much before opening his mouth once more. “You know, you should finally look into getting an assistant, instead of having your PARTNER running your errands for you.” As much as I hate to admit it, Andrew has a point there. “Sorry, my friend. I know I’ve mentioned that I prefer to get stuff done on my own, but with the increased load, I might just open up that position.” He gives me a wink “I’d hate to lose my spot as your pack mule, but it’ll be for the best.” He looks down at my hand, noticing my keepsake. “A souvenir?” “Yeah, something like that,” I say, clutching the coin in hand and bringing it close to my chest. “A Memento from a wonderful night.” “Neeto,” He responds, clearly not interested in the token. “Well, I just wanted to finish my drop-off before clocking out for the day. I’ll see you Monday?” What is he talking about, leaving for the day? It’s only…fuck. My daydreaming had taken up more time than I thought, the clock reading quarter to five. “Yeah, I’ll see you on Monday.” I remain calm on the outside and save my freakout until I watch him close the door upon his exit. FUUUUUCK!!! How am I supposed to finish this up in time? I guess I’ll just do as much as I can, and deal with the rest on Monday morning. I get back to work, typing as fast as my fingers can allow, hoping to get as much done in the next 15 minutes as humanly possible. *** Mommy isn’t the only one who can plan a surprise! After sending my little tease of a photo, I place the phone down on the bathroom counter. While part of me wants to do nothing more than smush around in my mess, I have more pressing matters to attend to. Reaching into the cupboard beneath the bathroom sink, I pull out a small brown box. Peeling the tape off with my fingernails, I open it up, looking at my recent purchase with delight. “I can’t wait to see the look on Mommy’s face,” I say to myself. I take a look at my hair in the mirror, taking in the sight of my dark hair. Taking my fill, I pull the hair dye out from the box, as well as the small dyeing kit, complete with brushes, hair clamps, and a small bowl for mixing and holding the dye. Let’s do this!

Chapter 10: Just Desserts (CW: Swearing, Emotional Breakdown) July 22nd, 2023. 6:16pm “Well? I’m waiting,” Emma states, arms crossed and foot tapping. I can tell that she’s ticked off. Not in the fun, playful way, where we both play it up for the scene, but genuinely annoyed. “I’m sorry Em, I just…” I’m cut off by the wave of her hand, her making it apparent that words just aren’t going to cut it. She pulls her phone out of her pocket, holding it up to my face. “Do you know what this thing is? It’s a phone. It’s a handy little device! Did you know that you can do this thing called ‘texting’ with it?” Wow, way to lay it on thick Em. “It’s pretty neat! You can send messages to anyone, at any time! Like, to your Mommy when you decide to break the rules and head out without so much as a heads up!” Really? That’s what she’s mad about? I had a good reason! “Okay, that’s my bad Em, but you could at least let me explain!” I can feel my anger from before returning, my attempts at stifling the stress from today bubbling through my mental barriers. “Then explain! What was so important that you just took off without a word?!? Go on, try to justify it!” Holy shit, Em. If you’d calm down I’d fucking tell you!!! I take a breath, trying helplessly to make my next words calm and collected. “It was my fucking job, Emma!” Okay, not as calm as I hoped. I can see my words finally got through to her though, and I don’t have the time to stop and adjust my tone. “My asshole boss called me up outta nowhere, and demanded I get there quick! I just barely had time to make it before meeting with that damn H.R. rep!” “Wait, H.R. meeting? Why? Was it about…you know…” I can see her eyes trailing down to my waist. REALLY EM?!? I tell you I had an H.R. meeting, and your mind immediately goes to diapers?!? “No Em, it wasn’t about the fucking diapers!!! They called me in there to tell me that they were firing Beth!” I can see the look of shock on Emma’s face growing. “Oh, but wait! It gets better! You wanna know the reason they fired her?!? It was due to a report THAT I MADE!!! BECAUSE OF MY WORDING, I GOT HER FIRED!!!” I can feel the streams running down my eyes. I feel like my tears are boiling from my anger, imagining steam coming off the surface of my cheeks. Emma approaches me, holding my hands in front of her. “Roxie, that’s horrible, but it’s going to be okay! I’m sure Beth doesn’t blame you for your boss's actions. Why don’t we…” I rip my hands away from her. I can’t stand to be touched, almost like my rage is turning all that love into more pain. “How in the fuck do you know, huh Em?!? Don’t act like you know everything!!!” I try to catch my vile words in my throat, but I can’t stop it now. “She lost her job! I lost my job!!! And all you’ve done since I’ve gotten back is bitch about a missing text message?!? FUCK!” Looking at her face, I immediately feel regret. It’s not her fault today sucked. I should apologize. “Em, I’m sorry. I…” I don’t get to talk for long. Emma walks up to me, grabbing hold of my ear, and pulling me towards her. “OWW! EM, THAT HURTS!” She doesn’t respond, leading me to the corner of the living room. With swift precision, she quickly removes my clothing, leaving my body bare, except for my diaper. I can feel her hands against my skin, guiding me into the corner, my nose making contact with the wall. “Stay here, Roxie. I mean it. Don’t you dare move from this spot!” I can hear her footsteps fading behind me. Not daring to disobey, I keep my nose pressed firmly in place. I try to count the seconds that pass, turning into minutes. At somewhere around the ten-minute mark, I lose count, but I remain in place. I don’t want to disappoint her more than I already have. I don’t know how long it took, but eventually, I heard her return to the living room. Her footsteps getting closer with each beat of my heart. I hear the clink of objects being placed on the coffee table, wondering what she has in store for me. Whatever it is, I’ll accept it. I acted horribly towards her. I deserve this. I feel Emma’s hand against my arm, dragging me from the corner. I barely have time to register what’s happening before I’m across her lap. “Okay baby, I’m going to give you 50 swats on your bare bottom. After that, we’ll talk.” A spanking? Not only that, but only 50? I thought this was going to be a punishment. Even as I feel the back of my diaper being lowered down to my thighs, I’m left confused. I’ve enjoyed all of her assaults on my backside so far, so what exactly would make this one different? My answer comes quickly, the thwack of wood against my skin ringing out through the room. HOLY SHIT!!! HOW DOES THAT HURT SO MUCH?!? I don’t know if she’s using some kind of special instrument, or if she was holding back on those funishments, but this spanking was an entirely different beast. Another smack makes contact, making me release an audible yelp. The pain is almost too much, but a different part of me is craving the next spank. It’s not the part of me that longs for the sexual side of things, but rather, a smaller voice. One telling me that it’s okay to receive my punishment. That I should just let go, and let Mommy deliver her just desserts. “That’s it, baby. You’re being such a good girl, taking your spanking for Mommy.” Even Mommy’s voice is different. Instead of teasing and insults, her voice is soft, and nurturing. Another smack makes its way onto my backside, and my yelp turns into a cry. “Good job, sweetie. Just let it all out.” My fragile state doesn’t need any more encouragement. I let out my tears and sobs, as she continues the spanking. I don’t know if I’m even feeling the smacks anymore, wrapped up in my overflowing emotions. I’m not counting in my mind anymore. Nor am I angry, or upset. I’m just…crying. What…is this? I don’t think I’ve felt an emotion like this before. It feels…I don’t know, good. Like everything bad is washing away from me, my soul being cleansed through this special ritual. I hear her place the paddle back down on the table, but that doesn’t stop my crying. She picks me up, my knees resting on the spaces between her legs. I look at her the best I can through my watery eyes. “I…I’m so sorry Mommy,” I say between sniffles. “I didn’t mean to get so angry.” She holds me close, my chin resting on her shoulder. She rubs my naked back, shushing me along with the soothing movements. “It’s okay now, Roxie. You’re okay. All is forgiven.” How? How is she able to forgive me so easily? I practically called her a bitch, and told her to fuck off. So why is she always so nice to me? I feel my body being moved from its position, back over Mommy’s lap. For a moment, I thought my ass was due for round two, but my fears were allayed with a cooling sensation on my backside. Craning my head, I see Mommy working lotion into my reddened posterior. She takes her time, massaging the salve in with her fingers. I feel my body relax across her lap and enjoy the feeling. Eventually, her hands removed themselves from my cheeks, much to my dismay. With a series of tugs, Mommy returns the padding to its rightful place. Even with the cooling effects of the lotion, I can still feel the heat radiating from my behind. The warmth almost traps itself within the diaper, a faint reminder of my punishment. With a gentile flip, my body is turned supine, with my head nestled into Mommy’s chest. I look up at her, watching her smile down at me as her lips begin to move. “Roxie, do you know why I punished you tonight?” Oh boy, it’s time for the recap. I avert my eyes, looking down at my bare chest. “You were angry with me because I was acting up.” I feel her hand on my chin, tilting my head up to lock our gazes together. “That, my dear, is incorrect. I punished you because you were spiraling, trapped in your negative emotions.” She was right. I thought I was able to get over the events of today, just burying them down behind a happy facade. All I wanted to do was just pretend that everything was okay, that my quitting was just a positive thing. But that’s not the whole truth. I was still sad, hurt, and angry. “I know you well enough that when you get like that, the best way through is to let it out.” Maybe that’s why the spanking felt so different. I look down at the table, noticing the same paddle that I’m used to sitting there. It wasn’t some new technique, or her finally going hard on me. The only difference…was me. “So, you weren't spanking me ‘cause you were angry? You looked super mad when I came in,” I say with a bit of confusion still present in my voice. I watch her face twist into one of concern. “No baby, not at all! I mean, sure, I was a bit ticked by the mess, and you absolutely should’ve let me know what was going on, but that wasn’t even close to a factor.” Her hand goes from my chin to the back of my head, cradling it with her particular brand of compassion. “I need you to know something, and to always remember it. I will never, not in a million years, punish you out of anger. That’s why I put you in the corner. Do you think it would take me that long to grab a paddle and some lotion?” Now that she mentions it, I WAS in the time-out for an unusually long time. I had just assumed that she was concocting some intense way to correct my behavior, but as it turns out, she was just cooling off? I guess I’m not used to such compassion, even after all this time. Mommy clears her throat, in turn clearing my mind, before continuing. “I wanted to take the time to ground myself, and my emotions, before helping you deal with yours. I refuse to punish you when I’m not fully in control.” “But, doesn’t that get tiring? Always being the one in charge, the perfect one?” Just having to be responsible for others today almost sent me into a spiral, so how does she manage it? Going to work, dealing with all those people, and then coming home to fix me; must be exhausting. “I wouldn’t think about it like that, sweetie. For starters, I’m far from perfect. I make mistakes, just like anyone. But when it comes to you, my beautiful Roxie, it’s never tiring. Caring for you is my ultimate form of relaxation.” “Really?” I ask, not seeing how dealing with a grown woman’s diapers and tantrums could be considered “relaxation”. “Yes, really. You know that feeling you get, when you sit there in your diaper, watching cartoons and wetting yourself? It feels good, doesn’t it? Like a weight has been lifted from you? Well, I feel the same way when I get to change you, dress you up all cute, and yes, even when I have to punish you. Caring for you, with all the ups and downs, is to me what being cared for is to you. Relaxation.” I never thought of it that way. I mean, I knew she got something out of our arrangement, but I just assumed it stopped at the carnal, never thinking that it could be as emotionally fulfilling for her as it was for me. “That makes sense, Mommy. I guess I assumed differently.” “Well, that’s because you…” She pauses and taps my nose with her finger. “...are a Little!” I giggle at her response and snuggle deeper into her body. “Now, how about you tell me what happened? I promise to listen, and not jump to conclusions like before.” *** I go over the events from today: the phone call, the meeting in the office, and even the embarrassing tumble I took in front of Beth. I watch the expression shift across her face as I tell my tale, but true to her word, she just listens. After catching her up to speed, I close my mouth, giving her the time to process everything. Finally, she speaks. “I can’t believe you told your boss to fuck off. Such foul-mouthed language from my little girl!” I can see from her look that she’s more impressed than upset. My face gains a blush to go along with my grin. “Yeah, probably not my finest moment, but he had it coming! He probably could’ve used a good spanking himself.” “Oh yeah, big time!” she says while laughing. “More importantly, I’m glad Beth was so understanding of your ‘special undies’. You said she already knew about our type of lifestyle?” Crap, I guess I did spill the beans, didn’t I? Then again, this is Emma I’m talking to. It’s not like I mentioned it to some rando on the street. “Yeah, apparently her sister is like me. Well, not exactly like me. Beth described her as “different”, and that she was pretty vocal about her littleness with the people she’s close to. Sounds weird to me, but I guess some people are like that.” Emma’s face seems to turn to a strange mix. It’s almost like she’s thinking while eating a lemon at the same time, her lips puckered inwards. Is it really that strange? I know people like us are usually pretty closeted, but it’s not that weird, is it? “What did you say Beth’s last name was?” Wait, what? What is she getting at? After everything I just told her, she wants to know more about Beth? I think for a moment, trying to decide if I’ve said enough for one night. In for a penny, in for a pound, right? Besides, what’s the harm in a name? “It’s Hall. Beth Hall.” Her eyes widen, like she just discovered Atlantis, or some hidden treasure. Does she know Beth? Wait, that’s not it. “Emma, do you know Beth’s sister?” Emma looks at me with worry, which honestly shocks me to my core. “I…I don’t know for certain, but I might? I will say, that description reminds me of…someone.” I can see from the way she looks that she’s not willing to share more than that at the time. Part of me wants to know more, but I don’t want to push that particular button right now. There’s been enough drama tonight. I decide to change the subject. “So…yeah, that’s what happened today. I guess I’m just wondering, what happens now?” Emma looks at me, tilting her head just the slightest bit. “What do you mean, baby? About what?” “What happens to us,” I ask. “You mentioned the idea of me being a full-time little a while back. Well, I’m fresh out of a job, and seeing as I didn’t leave in the most ‘professional manner’, I think it’s safe to say my career in data entry is finished. Honestly, I’m not sure if I’d even want to go back to that kind of work, even if I could find someplace that would hire me without managerial references. What I’m getting at is, I’m here, free of all other responsibilities. So if you’re still willing, I’d love to be your stay-at-home baby.” I can feel Emma’s heart beating through her chest, pounding against my head. “Roxie, you do know what that means, right? Living like this, as a Little all the time? You would be giving up a lot, and things will change. It won’t just be a vacation. You’ll have rules, and chores, and you’ll pretty much be kissing the toilet goodbye. I’m not trying to talk you out of this, but I want you to know what this means. Are you sure this is the life you want?” Do you even have to ask? It’s everything I’ve ever dreamed of! “I’m sure, Mommy. As of this moment, Roxie Accardi: the data enterer and adult is dead, and Baby Roxie is born!” I don’t expect her to move so fast, but Mommy quickly wraps herself around me, hugging me tight. “Oh Roxie, I’m so happy to hear that! I didn’t want to push you, but I’m so happy to have you as my Little girl for good!” We sit there, wordless, just showing our love through affection. I want to stay in her arms forever, but there’s a nagging feeling in the back of my mind. It’s the sensation where I’m just starting to remember something lost, something forgotten over the highs and lows of the day. Hey, I’m glad I remembered something for once at least! “Hey Mommy, didn’t you say you had a surprise for me?” I feel her jolt in my arms, clearly having forgotten herself. “That’s right baby, thank you for reminding me! Do you want your surprise now? It is getting a bit late, but it wouldn’t take long!” I take a look at the clock, noticing that it’s a quarter to ten. Whilst I feel a tad exhausted, I know how much she was looking forward to showing me whatever she had planned, so how could I let her down? “Sure Mommy, I’m awake enough for one last thing!” She gives me a nod, and without a word, she lowers the straps of her dress, slipping it down to her stomach and revealing her bra. Reaching behind her back, she removes it with ease, letting her breasts fall free. Goddess, I love her boobs! “Okay Little One, it’s time for your feeding!” Okay, I see where she’s going with this! I’m certainly down for a bit of fake breastfeeding! I bring my lips to her buds, latching on. I begin to suckle, expecting a moan, or some sort of praise from Mommy. You can imagine my surprise when my mouth begins to taste something besides her flesh. “HOLY SHIT! Mommy, is that milk?” I could barely contain the excitement in my voice. She delivers a quick swat to my thighs for my use of profanity, before shoving my head back onto her. “That’s enough naughty words from you! But yes, that IS milk. Modern medicine is wonderful, wouldn’t you agree?” Oh, I’d definitely agree! “Now hurry up and finish your drink, little one.” I happily agree, resuming my work. I let her juice wash over my taste buds, the flavor reminding me of the milk left over after a bowl of cereal. It’s sweet, but not overly so. I greedily suck down this gift from the goddess, letting the milk fill my stomach. After a while, the well seems to run dry, but without a word, Mommy quickly switches her breasts, letting her other nipple into my mouth. This is perfect. I’ve never felt so relaxed. I…I… I can feel myself losing consciousness. Not yet, please eyes, just remain open for a bit longer. As hard as I try, I cannot hold the darkness of sleep back any longer. My mind fades away, my lips still acting on instinct as I drift off. *** I guess my little girl was all tuckered out after all. Ever so gently, I take Roxie into my arms, taking great care not to awaken the slumbering little. Picking her up, I begin walking towards the nursery, before something stops me. Looking at the loveseat, I see Roxie’s new plush companion sitting upright, having been placed with care. How cute! Even when rushing out before, she still managed to make sure her new friend was comfy. I awkwardly crouch down, grabbing the plush demon-goat in hand. I’m sure she’d want to have her new companion with her tonight. With great effort, I’m just able to twist the doorknob enough to open the door. Making my way over to the crib, I place the sleeping girl inside. I tuck her into the covers, and with a final touch, I place her stuffie underneath her arm. “Goodnight, Little One. Just you wait for what’s in store tomorrow,” I whisper into her ear, before placing a kiss on her forehead. She seems to shuffle a bit but thankfully stays in her world of dreams. I exit the dark room, making sure to close the door as quietly as humanly possible. Once closed, I let my thought from earlier return. There’s no way that she’s Beth’s sister. The odds are… I have to be sure. I make my way to the living room and grab my phone from its spot. Opening up my contacts, I quickly dial the number, each ring letting my nerves sink lower and lower. Alex eventually picks up. “Hey Em! Are you checking about tomorrow? Don’t worry, Jessica and I will…” I cut him off, not having the patience for pleasantries. “Alec, is Jessica still awake? I need to talk to her, like right now.” I can tell I’ve caught him off guard by the brief stutter in his voice. “Y…yeah, let me put you on. Everything all right?” “Hopefully, yes. I just need to confirm something really quick.” I hear the sound of movement on the other end, the sound of music coming to a stop. “Alright, I’ve got her for you. Just let me…” This time, it’s not me cutting him off, but the rambunctious ball of energy that I know so well. “HI EMMA!” I can hear her voice clear, but muffled behind a pacifier. “Did Daddy tell you what we did today?!? We went to the park, and I saw a flock of Brent geese, and I…” Sorry to burst your bubble Jess, but I’ve gotta do this. “Red, Jess. Sorry, but this is important.” I hear a spitting sound, and her voice rings out free from influence. “Sorry, Em. What’s going on? Was it something I said?” Oh, you poor girl. Both you and Roxie need to learn some confidence. “No honey, you’re fine. I just need to ask you something important.” “Oh, okay! Is it about the Brent geese, cause they’re really fascinating birds! Did you know there are three major subspecies of Brent geese?” I let Jess go off on her tangent, explaining the creatures in detail. When she gets like this, sometimes it’s easier to just let her finish the thought. “That’s super interesting Jessie, but no, that’s not why I called. You mentioned you had a sister, correct?” Jessica pauses for a moment. Even she can tell when something is up. “You mean Beth? Well, technically we’re half-sisters, but yeah. Why do you ask?” Of course. The universe just HAD to be this coincidental. “Have you talked to her at all recently?” “Hmmmmm, nope! The last time I talked to her was when we went out for dinner last Tuesday. Why are you asking about Beth?” Well great. First Roxie tells me, and now I have to tell Jess. I hope this doesn’t get back to Beth. Knowing Jessica’s penitent for spreading information, I don’t doubt that the info train will make a full circle. It’s not like I can back out now though. “So, funny story. I think Roxie just outed herself to your sister.”

Yeah, Roxie certainly made a series of "oopsies" that day! Something tells me she's about to regret her choices. I'm really glad you've liked the story so far 😄. Losing 40k words would literally make me cry! Thankfully, once I complete a chapter, I make sure to save it across multiple drives and devices. Someone really needs to give those gremlins a good, solid spanking 😉. @Little LambI always appreciate your kind words. I think you may just be the story's biggest supporter, and I love each and every comment, from the compliments to the criticism. Don't worry, your Emma curiosity will soon be satiated! (*cough* chapter after next *cough*) I think all of Roxie's relationships are central to the story, both the kinky ones and the "normies". Don't worry, I won't be leaving that plot thread hanging for much longer! I dunno who you're thinking of, but my answer is....you'll find out VERY soon 😁.

Hello, dear readers. I want to thank you all again on your patience for chapter 9. With the holiday having passed, I was able to dedicate a good portion of time to redoing the work that was lost the other night. I think the chapter turned out even better than it was before, but ultimately, how good it is will be up for you to decide. Please enjoy the first chapter in "Act 2" of Embracing Oneself. And, as always, thank you for reading. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 9: Bye, Bye, Bye (CW: Swearing, Deadnaming, Smoking) July 22nd, 2023. 8:29am Opening my eyes to see the bars in front of my face can still manage to get a smile out of me. Stretching my curled-out form beneath my childish covers, I can hear the crinkling of the waterproof sheet beneath me. So far, it’s been an unnecessary precaution, but Mommy insists on it remaining on. “Who knows, your diaper might fail one night from those massive wettings of yours.” Her comment still sits in my mind, like an enjoyable earworm. I sit up, rubbing the crusts from my eyes. I can feel the sheet slipping off my bare body, my nipples poking up at the cold morning air. I should ask Mommy to put me in my PJs next time. I look down at my waist, my pink Trest looking soggier than I remember it being last night, the once coral front now a beige-ish tone. I must’ve woken up and gone more. Peaking through the crib's rails, I notice just how stocked up it has become over the last couple of months. Once just a lightish rose, the walls are now adorned with vinyl stickers of alphabet blocks and copyright-free princesses. Underneath the changing table, the garbage pail has long since been removed, a large diaper pail having taken its place. The shelves, once barely filled with supplies, now struggle to contain Emma’s purchases. Even with the addition of a new Ikea shelf, the overflow of diapers and toiletries could be described as obscene. Heh, toiletries. Considering my recent lack of a porcelain throne, I found it funny to refer to them as such. The only ‘toilet’ I’ve used in about a month is the one taped around me. Speak of the devil. The rest of my body has arisen from its slumber, and nature calls. With almost no effort, I let my morning ritual take over, feeling the cold garment warm up with a fresh wave of wetting. The seconds tick by, my diaper getting saggier as it struggles to absorb the rapid flood. Once finished, I place my hand on the front, squishing the padding and feeling the true weight of my act. Doing so, I feel a small droplet make its way down my leg. Shit, is that a leak? Maybe Emma was right to buy the mattress protector. I move my hand away, not wanting to add any more risk of a cleanup. Not that I have to worry about that. Mommy has taken over the role of my exclusive diaper changer and clean-up expert. We talked it over, and decided it would be best if I didn’t handle my own diaper changes while engaging in little activities. There are exceptions, of course. If she is at work, and I’m having a free day, I can make the change on my own after she checks and permits me. If I’m wearing discreetly at work, I’m allowed to use my discretion when it comes to my bathroom needs, whether that's using the bathroom, changing in the stall, or waiting till I get home to deal with it. Once I’m back home though, the game begins again. It’s not like I mind it either. Changes have almost become a second love language to us. The way Mommy takes care of me, making sure I’m all clean and dry, makes me feel warm inside; from how she smiles down at me from above, I can tell she feels similarly. Speaking of changes, I could desperately use one. I can feel the saturation pooling downwards, and I’m sure that another wetting of any calibur will spring a leak. Looking over to the top of the shelf, I can see the small green light coming from the two-way baby monitor, signaling a live connection. I wasn’t sure about that purchase at first, but I’ve gotta hand it to her; it’s about to come in handy. “MOMMY!!! I NEEDA CHANGE!!!” I shout. It may not be necessary to be so loud, but it certainly fits the role. Plus, it’s fun to just let your voice ring on occasion. I wait, the sound of static mixed with random noises coming through the speaker. It takes a moment, but I finally hear her voice on the other end. “Just a second sweetie, I’ll be right there.” The static cuts out, leaving just the echo of footsteps off in the distance. Soon, Mommy walks through the door, dressed up to perfection. Her work attire never fails to impress. Walking over to the crib, she gently slides the rails down to the ground. “Good morning sleepyhead. Let’s see how that poor diaper is holding up.” Her hand goes between my thighs, slipping a finger into the leg guard. “Wow, you weren’t kidding! How about we get you into a fresh one?” I hold my arms out, letting her get close before wrapping them around her neck. With a heft, my body is lifted out, with one of her hands along my back, the other on my rear. Bridging the short distance, I’m laid down across the changing table, the cold material against my bare skin causing a jolt to my system. My body heat quickly warms it up though, and my body relaxes. “Alright baby, you know the drill. Legs up.” The process is routine now; legs go up, tapes undone, and nethers wiped. So when Mommy stops after placing the new diaper beneath my bum, I’m left wondering what’s up. “You want to try something new today?” she asks. Oh, we’re playing this game today! For Mommy, something new adds up to either a new toy being used or a temporary rule being implemented. I remember the feeling the first time she said those words, pulling a pacifier gag out from behind her. Now that was an experience. From gags to locking mittens, Mommy never seems to run out of ideas. Even without a new toy, she never fails to be creative. Last weekend, for example, she put me back in my crib immediately after my morning change, handing me a content-locked tablet and a couple of bottles of water before heading off. I certainly wasn’t expecting my day to be spent locked up in one place, but it ended up being a lot of fun! I step out of memory lane as Mommy pulls out a small white box. Opening the top, she tilts the box towards me, allowing me to see the bright pink chastity cage inside. “What do you think baby? Wanna give it a try?” Oh my goddess. A small gulp goes down my throat. This is definitely something out of my realm of experience, but everything else she has suggested so far has made for an amazing experience. I guess…it wouldn’t hurt to try it out. “O…Okay Mommy, I’ll try it,” I manage to squeak out, my voice struggling to form the sentence. That was all the go-ahead she needed. Pulling out a small jar of petroleum jelly, she dabs a smudge on her finger, gliding it along the surfaces soon to make contact with my most vulnerable spaces. Taking the base ring, she gently works my parts through it, resting in place behind my bits. The nylon sleeve soon follows, and the barrel lock is engaged with the twist of the key, securing the contraption in place. I bring my hand down, inspecting my new enclosure. It…it actually feels nice. The material makes for a comfy covering, and if not for the fact that my mind is getting used to the sensation, I would be hard-pressed to even notice its presence. Mommy gently slaps the top of my hand, putting an end to my exploration. “Now, now, the cage is meant to keep your hands away, Little One.” Well, that just makes me want to touch it some more! With a dash of powder, the new diaper is pulled into place, and the tapes are secured. “There we go. That should hold you for a while. Now let’s get you dressed!” Mommy picks me back up and places me before the mirror, walking into the closet to decide my attire. Returning in just moments, she holds a dress in one hand and a pair of shoes in the other. The dress is rather simplistic, but a verified classic; a black school-girl dress with a white collar and sleeves. With a lift of my arms, the dress is slipped over my head and falls into place. Looking at myself in the mirror, I can now understand why it was chosen. I’m unaware if the dress was tailored to be this short, or if Mommy ordered a dress meant for a child, but the result is the same. Just the slightest amount of movement reveals a flash of the white padding and childish print underneath. Oh well, it’s not like I’m going anywhere today. Bending down, she places the shoes in front of my feet, reaching inside and pulling out a pair of long, striped socks, alternating between black and white. I lift one leg at a time, feeling the soft cotton making its way up to my thighs. Next comes the shoes, a simple design of black leather, with a strap over the top. I’m certainly looking creepy, kooky, and altogether ooky! Minus my short hair, I’d say I look very close to the classic character. “What do you think?” she asks, awaiting my approval. Even now, being the ‘one in charge’, she still seeks my happiness. “I love it, Mommy! Thank you,” I say before throwing my arms around her, wrapping them tightly around her waist. “You…are very welcome…but you’re…kind of crushing me here,” she exasperates. I lighten my grasp, but hold on to her just the same. The hug transitions into a hold, finding myself once again off the ground, being ushered by my authoritative chauffeur. We pass through the doorway, making our way into the living room, where I’m gently placed upon the blanket spread across the floor. I cross my legs, sitting upright on the soft material, feeling the warmth against my thighs. Before me is the usual spread. A variety of coloring books, remotes, and my pacifier sit just within reach; everything a Little might need to stay busy throughout the day while her caregiver is away. “Alright sweetie, I have to get going, but you know the rules…” I pop the pacifier in my mouth and begin listing off my orders, a childish lisp emitting from behind the guard. “No Potty, no big gurl stuff, make sure to crawl, and text Mommy if I need ta change.” “That’s right!” Mommy says as she claps her hands, applauding my remembrance. Bending over, she gives me a quick peck on the forehead. “I’m going to miss you so much, baby.” It’s only a day, Mommy. I’m sure I’ll manage. I decide against verbalizing my sass, not wanting to be bratty right out the gate. “Me misses you mowe, Mommy. Id geds so wownwy widhowd you.” While part of me cringes at my babble, I do admit that it’s pretty fun. Mommy coos at my attempt. “Oh no, well I can’t have my sweet, little girl getting lonely, now can I?” She points ahead of me towards the door of the entertainment center. “Why don’t you check inside? After all, who knows what’s awaiting behind the door?” Another surprise? I crawl across the short distance and open the door. Inside the darkness, I almost look over the object inside. If not for the white button eyes, it would’ve been camouflaged from sight. I grab ahold and bring the soft object to light, letting out a verbal squeal of delight. “HE’S SO CUTE!!!!” In my hands is a plush goat with wings, his black body adorned with two red pentagrams; one across his chest, the other along his head. I flick my finger against his cute horns, giggling just a bit before returning to their crescent shape. HE’S PERFECT!!!!!! “I figured it was about time for you to have a stuffie friend to keep you company. I wasn’t quite sure it…” I give her a quick flash of indignation, showing my displeasure at her reference to this beautiful creature as an “it”. “...I mean, I wasn’t sure if ‘HE’ was the most age-appropriate choice, but I guess I was mistaken.” I slide my body across the carpet like a batter slides to home base, giving myself just the slightest rug burn as I grab onto her leg. “I love him, Mommy! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Mommy lets out a giggle and places her hand on my head, patting it ever so softly. “You are most certainly welcome, darling.” I see a brief flash above me and look up to see her, phone in hand. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist capturing this moment” I’m so happy right now, she could be taking pics of my bare ass and I wouldn’t care! The time comes too soon when she begins pulling her leg from my grasp. “Okay, okay, I REALLY have to get going now. I’ll see you soon, my precious Roxie.” Taking her steps towards the door, she turns around just before opening it. “There’s plenty of bottles and snacks in the fridge if you’re hungry. Text me if you need anything, I’ll see you at 5. I can’t wait to give you your final surprise. Love you!” I get nothing more than that as she closes the door behind her, leaving me to sit in suspense. Three surprises in one day? She’s going all out today. I look down at my biggest surprise, holding my new companion close to my chest. “Now, what do I call you? Let’s see…” I don’t need to think for long before the perfect name pops into my head. “I know! Your name is Baphy!” I’m a genius! Taking Baphy in hand, I make my way back to my spot, gently placing him down before going prone. Settling into the blanket, I feel the unfamiliar sensation of the chastity cage pushing between my skin and the diaper. Okay, that’s gonna take some getting used to. I sit up on my elbows, and the pressure lightens. Deciding I can live with that, I take the TV remote in hand, booting up Netflix. I arrow my way over to the “Kids” profile, a rather new addition to my little routine. Not like it changes anything. Most of the shows I watch are considered ‘For Kids” anyway. I look through my limited selection, trying to figure out what to watch. I could go with the usual, but I really want to wait for Emma to keep watching She-Ra. What about… I make my choice, settling on a tried and true banger: Legend of Korra. “Baphy, you’re going to LOVE this!” *** Uugh, what the hell is interrupting my sleep? The buzzing of my phone causes me to awake from my blissful nap. I spread out my legs, accidentally knocking over the collection of bottles accrued from my watching party. Thankfully, they lay empty, so no cleanup is required. Good thing too, otherwise, I’d be pissed. Looking around in my daze, I finally spot the device, having stopped its infernal ringing. I swear, this better be Mommy calling, and not some scam call. Clicking the power button, the first thing I notice is the time; 11:52am. Damn, that nap was longer than I thought. The second thing I notice is the notification bar, showing several missed calls. While the number is saved in my contacts, it wasn’t the name I was expecting. It’s my day off! Fuck, if Tom doesn’t have a good reason for calling, I’m gonna rip his asshole in two! I take a deep breath and decide that calling him back would be the safest bet, no matter how much I despise talking to the sleazeball during my off hours. The phone rings for just a second before I can hear his weaselly voice on the other end. “Good to see your phone works! Do you know how long I’ve been trying to reach you? I’m starting to think you enjoy wasting my time.” Fuck you asshole, I shouldn’t even be answering you right now. As much as I wish I could say that, I’m not looking to lose my job over a phone call. “Hi Tom, what can I do for you…on my day off?” I let just the hint of sarcasm ring true in my otherwise professional tone. “Yeah yeah, I know what day it is. Trust me, I wouldn’t be calling you unless it was urgent. You need to get into the office right away.” Even when asking for my help, he still manages to be an ass about it. “Listen, if it’s about the data for the Coleman Group, can’t it wait until Tomorrow? I’m currently busy with personal matters.” Yeah, let me get back to my cartoons already! He interjects, cutting off any chance of escape. “It’s not about that. H.R. needs to speak with you, and it has to happen now. I expect to see you in the next hour.” I hear the beep from the other end, and my screen flashes the white letters of “Call Ended”. “FUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!! Fucking Asshole!!!” I look over to my side, Baphy seemingly giving me a disapproving stare. “Sorry Baphy, I didn’t mean to swear. Looks like my dummy boss needs to speak with me.” *** Getting dressed and out the door took more time than I’d hoped. I was almost afraid I wouldn’t get there in time, but I guess the goddess is looking out for me, as I pull into my spot with time to spare. That’s perhaps the only good thing about this bullshit. Hopping out of the car, I slam the door shut, strutting towards the double glass doors of the building. I feel a slight breeze against my ankles, my knee-length skirt flowing with the wind. I am glad I changed though. Unprofessional look aside, there’s no way my diaper wouldn’t have just shown. Should I have perhaps changed? Maybe, but it’s not like I haven’t worn to work before. What difference would an H.R. meeting make? My only concern is the growing desperation in my bladder. This is just a quick visit, in and out. Then I can get back home, soak this thing, and enjoy the rest of my day. I keep up my brisk pace through the entryway, not even stopping to wave at the nameless goon working the desk. Stopping at the elevator, I push the up button, tapping my foot as I impatiently await its arrival. I barely wait before the door opens before stepping inside, mashing the 5f button as quickly as possible. It’s not long before the door opens again, the usual rows of cubicles standing before me. On a usual work day, I’d walk the few paces to my capitalistic prison before getting on with the busy work, but not today. I take a right, making my way to the big brown door, adorned with the dickbag’s name. I knock on the solid wood, listening for the okay to enter. At first, I vaguely believe I hear a stifled sob before it’s quickly covered up by my boss's annoying voice. “Come in.” Twisting the handle, I’m greeted by three faces, where I expected only two. Behind the mahogany desk stands Tom, his face reminding me of an aging bulldog, his cheeks sagging in a permanent frown. Goddess, I can smell his rancid cologne from here. To his left is a woman I’ve met only once or twice, her name escaping me at the moment. If Tom resembled a bulldog, I’d say she resembles a praying mantis, her pointed, angled face showing more bone than skin. I believe she’s trying to smile at me, but her eyes, long since drained of light and warmth, tell a much different tale. While I expected those two, the other party wasn’t expected in the least. Sitting down opposite from Tom, she looks up at me. Her eyes were puffy and tear-stricken, somberly staring at me from behind her red hair. “Beth, what’s wrong?!?” I make my way over to her, placing my hand on her shoulder. I can feel her shaking in her seat as a fresh set of drops stains her blouse. What the fuck is going on here? Why is my friend balling her eyes out?!? “Glad to see you could make it, Miss Accardi. Miss Hall, why don’t you head out?” I would perhaps appreciate the woman’s gentle demeanor in other circumstances, but not today. Beth doesn’t say a word before rushing out of the office. She just looks back at me with those sad eyes of hers before leaving. “Respectfully, what the hell is going on here? Why am I here, and why is Beth crying her eyes out?” Careful Rox, these are your higher-ups. Keep a cool head. “Take a seat. Please.” It sounds like Tom has to force the word out of his mouth. Perhaps it’s a foreign word to him. Nonetheless, I sit in the chair, careful to keep my legs together. I watch him shuffle through some paperwork in front of him, looking through the pages. My leg begins to tap, both from impatience and desperation. Can we hurry this up? “I’ll keep this brief.” Thank you, Tom, for that at least. “Can you read this document for us?” What is this, a literacy test? I look over the text, recognizing it as the monthly report I had filled out a while back. As a lead, one of my many, many arduous tasks was keeping track of those “below” me, providing details on the work efficiency of my staff. “I know what it is, Tom. I wrote it myself. What does this have to do with this random meeting?” I watch the woman begin to take notes on her company laptop, apparently jolting down my words. Am I in a fucking courtroom right now? Tom taps on the page, his greasy finger landing on a paragraph further down. “And would you say that THIS report is accurate?” I feel a lump in my throat as I read my own words, cursing myself for not seeing this coming. While Bethany Hall continues to be a bright, cheerful person to work with, her skills regarding data entry are still below average. It is my firm belief that her skillset would be best put to use in another department. “Yes, I stand by my words. I feel that she was at her very best when her smile greeted guests at the entrance and that she best served the company while working at the reception desk.” I can see the corners of his lips moving upwards. In another world, one might just say his face could resemble a smile. “Thank you for the confirmation. We just wanted to hear the words out of your mouth, didn’t we Annabell?” Right, that’s her name! She briefly looks up from her screen, giving Tom a nod before returning to typing. I pray that I’m wrong, that this bastard isn’t THAT cruel, but even as I ask the words, I know in my bones what he’ll say. “What did you say to Beth?” I can see his teeth showing now, seeming to take great delight at the news he’s about to deliver. “I just told her that she is no longer needed at this company, and to quickly pack her personal belongings before departing.” I can feel my blood boiling as I stand up, my chair being knocked backward by the force of my movement. “You heartless creatine!!!” “Miss Accardi, please calm yourself!” Annabell’s pleas fall on deft ears, as all I can see right now is Tom’s self-righteous smirk. “How could you?!? After everything Beth has done for this company, the shifting of positions, the late nights fixing mistakes, the smile she forces herself to give you, you treat her like this? This is wrong, Tom! It’s abhorrent!!!” He walks out from behind the desk, meeting me face to face. His pungent odor is almost too much to bear. I’m tempted to back away, but I hold my spot, not wanting to show weakness. “It’s just business,” he says behind his crooked grin, cockier than ever. “If she’s not performing to our standards, then we have every right to terminate her employment. This IS an at-will state, after all.” My blood has made its way to my face, and I can feel myself turning red from rage. “She’s not performing to your standards?!? Of course, she isn’t you dimwit! She never wanted to be in my department in the first place, you oaf!” “MISS ACCARDI! That’s enough!” Annabell might as well not be in the room, as Tom and I are locked in this stalemate, neither one of us willing to back down. “Careful, Riccardo. Your testosterone is showing.” He grins like the Cheshire Cat, thinking his pettiness of deadnaming me will strike a nerve. I’m ashamed to say it, but he’s correct. “TOM! That’s quite enough!” Wow, you’re such a great H.R. rep, aren’t you?!? That’s literally discrimination! “My apologies, Roxanne. I forget how sensitive you people are towards your legal name.” Oh, you cheeky fuck!!! “Regardless, what’s done is done. We’ll find someone with more…experience to replace your missing team member. Until then, you’ll just have to work extra to cover the deficit. I’m sure you don’t mind.” I look at both of their faces, one smug in his victory, the other down at her screen, avoiding my gaze. Is that it? Do my words mean so little? Do I mean so little to them? After all I’ve done for this shithole, this is the result? More work, more stress, and more of Tom’s bullshit? I can’t! I can’t do this anymore!!! “You know what Tom? Fuck you. Fuck you, and fuck this place. Consider this my resignation.” I can’t begin to tell you the joy I feel when I flip him the bird, his face falling as he takes a step back. “Yo…you can’t just quit! You’re a key member of this staff! Don’t be hasty now, Roxanne.” He looks panicked, perhaps only now realizing what a massive mistake he made. Losing a “deficit” was one thing, but losing me, the one who does all the work? Enjoy being in the red, shit-for-brains. “You said it yourself Tom; this is an at-will state, which means I can quit at any time. So that means you can kiss my ass!” I walk away, smiling as he begins to yell once again. I don’t bother to pick up what he’s saying though, too delighted at finally being free from his tyranny. *** I’m almost skipping as I walk through the exit, the sun having never looked brighter. However, I look to my right, and I can see Beth standing underneath the awning, the smoke in her hand trembling as she brings it to her lips. Poor Beth. She didn’t deserve any of this. Unlike me, she actually enjoyed her job, at least in her old position. I walk over to her, eyes closed as she exhales the cloud from her lungs. You know what, I didn’t even know she smokes. Guess we’ve got something else in common. Reaching into my bag, I pull out my own pack, placing the filter between my lips. The flick of my lighter finally alerts her to my presence, her eyes resembling a deer in headlights. “Shitty day, huh?” Beth half laughs, half coughs, a small plum of smoke bursting forwards. She leans forward, her hand resting against the support pillar, taking a moment to catch her breath. “Yeah, shitty day sums it up nicely,” Beth says with a small smile on her face. I’m glad she can at least manage that. “Well, look on the bright side.” I inhale, watching the tip turn to ash. Holding my breath, I gently let it out a second later, feeling the rush get to my head. “At least we’re finally free from this fucking place.” “Yeah, the job sucked, but at least I…” She whips her head towards me, the weight of my words finally reaching her. “No way! Did that douchebag fire you too?” “Not exactly,” I state with a grin. I wish she could see her face right now. The mix of surprise and confusion is a welcome change after the reckoning upstairs. “I called him out for his bullshit, but he just wouldn’t listen. So…I politely told him where to shove it!” Beth’s smile, her real one, that smile that brightened up the worst of days in the office, finally returns. “Oh. Em. Ge! Oh, how I wish I got to see that! You’ve gotta tell me everything! How did he react? Did that stupid smirk leave his face? I need details girl!!!” Oh, I’m more than happy to share, especially since it brings you joy. “Sure, but maybe we should get out of the parking lot first? I don’t know about you, but I could go for some coffee right about now.” “Oh god, yes! You’ve just gotta give me the deets on the way though!” She tosses the butt on the ground, smushing it between her heel. Even though my cig is only half finished, I do the same. “Sure thing. Wanna ride with me? I’ve got this sick new album tha…” The world seems to slow down. As I was looking back at Beth, I took a step forward. Not watching where I was going, my foot only made it halfway off the curb, slipping off mid-step. Losing my balance, I topple over onto the paved road, landing squarely on my chest. I feel my knees scrape against the pavement, and the air knocked from my lungs. “Roxie! Are you oka…o…oh.” I look back to see Beth, frozen mid-sentence. I can see her looking down at me, but not at my face. I crane my head backward and can see the source of her distraction. The fall had caused my skirt, long as it may be, to flip upwards, revealing my secret to anyone who would happen to pass by. To make matters worse, my bladder, having been forgotten due to the rage from before, had finally given out from the shock. I can feel the front getting warmer, pooling downwards due to gravity. Oh no! No no no no no!!! I get to my feet as quickly as humanly possible, full-on sprinting over to my car. Hopping inside, I lock the doors before looking up, watching as Beth begins to catch up. Sticking my key into the ignition, I twist it, only to be met with the stalling of the engine. NO! Come on Susie! Don’t die on me now!!! I twist, and I twist, but the result is the same. “DAMMIT!!!” I slam my hands against the steering wheel as Beth approaches the passenger side door, pulling on the handle. Why does this always happen to me?!? FUCK! I can feel the tears in my eyes as I look up at her, her hand placed on the window. “Roxie, can you please let me in? I’m not going to make fun of you, I promise.” I go over my options in my head. One, I keep twisting the key, hoping for some kind of miracle. That’s not going to work. Two, I curl up into a ball and hope she goes away. Scratch that. It’s Beth. She’s not going to just leave. That just leaves option 3. I reach over, unlocking the door. No sooner than I do, Beth takes the opportunity to open the door, slumping into the seat. I don’t look at her. I’m too ashamed. Here I am again, feeling the shame of my secret being revealed. Fate is such a cruel bitch. It seems like we’ve been sitting here forever, the silence ringing in my ears, when Beth finally speaks up. “Shitty days, right?” Okayyyy. Wasn’t expecting that. I’m a bit thrown off guard by the redirection of my own words, but more than anything, I wish to keep the silence from returning. “Is that really what you have to say? I mean, you saw…you saw my…” “What, your diaper?” It’s my turn to stare at Beth now. How is she so nonchalant about this? “You can relax, Roxie. It’s not the first time I’ve been in…this situation.” Okay, now what the fuck does that mean? “Yeah, you’re gonna have to explain that one.” “Well, if you must know, I’ve seen this kind of stuff before. Let’s just say that someone close to me is into all that ageplay stuff, so this is nothing new.” “How do you know this is a kink thing? Maybe I’ve got a medical condition, did you think of that?” Yes! I’ve got an out! Miracles can happen! “Roxie…your diaper has printed bears all over it. Besides, if it was a medical thing, you wouldn’t have taken off like that.” Shit, she’s got me there. I was so close too! I finally look at her, not seeing a shred of judgment on her face. She is telling the truth. “Fine, you’ve got me.” I could just leave it at that, but now that she’s mentioned knowing someone…like me, my curiosity has peaked. “So who’s this mystery person? One of your boyfriends?” Beth laughs in response. “Oh god no! Jake is such a macho man. I think he’d drop dead from shame if he so much as thought about doing that. And Collin is a different breed. Sure, he crossdresses, but that’s about as far out of left field as he goes.” “Wait, for real?” From the pictures Beth showed me, I totally wouldn’t have expected that from Collin. I mean, sure, he has long hair and paints his fingernails, but that’s not uncommon in this day and age. “So, who is it…if you don’t mind me asking?” Beth pauses for a moment. “Well, normally I wouldn’t divulge this kind of information…” Didn’t you just out your boyfriend as a crossdresser? “...but in this case, I think it’s fine. After all, she practically tells all her friends about her…what’s it called? Little side? Just promise me you won’t tell anyone, alright?” Well, I know she’s… she now, so that rules out everyone I know. Beth looks me dead in the eyes. Honestly, it makes me a bit uncomfortable. I’ve never seen her so serious before. “Alright, I promise I won’t tell a soul.” She looks me up and down and decides I’m being sincere. “It’s my sister.” “Wow.” I’m definitely startled by the revelation. “How’d you end up finding that out.” Beth lets out a giggle. “I’ll tell you, it’s not much of a story. She’s always been a bit…different, for lack of a better word.” Okay, that’s not vague at all. “Anyways, a few years back, she met this guy at her job, and I guess he was into some kinky stuff. She calls me up one day, telling me to come over, and I walk into her place to see her wearing a t-shirt and one of those.” She points to my skirt, alluding to my padding underneath. “Wait, I’m confused. She invited you over, and she didn’t think to change her clothes? That’s…” “Odd?” She finished. “Yeah, like I said, she’s different. Plus, we’ve always been close, so I guess she felt comfortable enough to show me her newfound interest.” I just can’t wrap my mind around what I’m hearing. A Little, showing such callous disregard for her secret? The idea alone makes my head spin. “So how did you take it? Her being a Little, I mean.” “Well, at first, I was taken aback. I mean, that’s not something you expect to walk in on, right? But she sat me down, explained this whole “Little” thing to me, and told me how happy it made her. Honestly, as long as she’s not hurting someone, she should be free to enjoy whatever weird thing she’s into, right? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t fully ‘get’ the whole thing, but that doesn’t mean I love her any less. And the same goes for you, Roxie. You’re my friend, diapers or not.” Holy shit, how do always get so lucky. I always thought people would be so disgusted at me if they found out, but I’m so happy to be wrong. “Thank you, Beth, truly. You’re a good friend.” “Don’t mention it. Now, how about we get that coffee, and you can finally tell me about what went on in the office?” She smiles at me, and I hate that I’m gonna have to give her the bad news. “Sorry, but my car won’t start. I think the old lady has finally met her maker.” She died too young! “Oh man, are you cereal? Are you sure she’s dead?” I look at her with my trademarked stare of displeasure. “Of course I’m sure. Watch.” I turn the key, expecting to get the same result, but I’ll be damned. The engine comes to life. Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me! Now you work? Beth just looks at me, a smug ‘I told you so” being expressed. “Look, she lives! Now let’s get those coffees!” *** July 22nd, 2023. 6:13pm I pull into the driveway just as the sun begins to set, seeing Emma’s car ahead of me. Great, she’s home! I can’t wait to tell her the good news! Looks like I get to give her a surprise of my own; her own full-time little! I open the door, a smile on my face as big as can be. “Hey Em, are you home, I’ve had the craziest day, you won’t believe what…” I can see her standing in the middle of the living room, hands on her hips. She does not look pleased in the slightest. “Roxanne Accardi!” Uh oh, she used my full name. I’m in trouble, aren’t I? “You have about 10 seconds to explain yourself, missy.” Looking down at the ground, I’ve realized just how big of a hole I’ve dug myself. Bottles were strewn across the floor, coloring books were spread open, and my little outfit was tossed on the ground with little care. Not only did I leave a mess for her to come back to, but I made an even bigger mistake. I didn’t text her to let her know I was leaving. Well, I guess my good luck couldn’t last forever.

Thank you for the kind words. It was disheartening to lose so much work, but thankfully, I just finished up on chapter 9. I should have it up shortly, which is a load off my shoulders 😁

Update Hello everyone, I'm afraid I have some slightly disappointing news. I was hard at work on Chapter 9, having gotten about 3.5k words done, when something disastrous occured. I left for work yesterday, returning home intent to finish up the chapter. When I opened up my laptop, I was greeted with a Windows error (This app cannot be opened). Whenever I would try to close out of the warning, it would pop back up a second later. No matter what I did, the warning wouldn't go away. I have an Alienware Laptop, and apparently the "Command Center" app was misbehaving. I was left with no option but to restart my computer, which I had hoped would fix the issue. When it turned back on, I thought I was in the clear for a moment, before the warning popped back up. Thankfully, I was able to get into Task Manager and force close the program, but then the lights on my computer started to bug out, flashing different colors. In order to fix this, I just uninstalled everything related to the command center and reinstalled the drivers. It took me about an hour to get to this point, and I was already tired, but I was determined to finish up the chapter that evening. I opened up my writing app, and my heart sank. In my haste to go to work, I had forgotten to click save, and since I restarted my computer, about 70 percent of the work I had done was gone, with only the first 1000 words having been spared. I'm currently hard at work trying to get back to where I was, but it will take some time to rewrite what was there. Long story short, there's going to be a bit of a delay on chapter 9. I'm very sorry for having this happen. I'm currently saving up money for a desktop to replace my aging laptop, and I hope in the meantime another issue like this doesn't happen again. Thank you for your patience, and once again, I'm very sorry for the delay.

I know some people may be wondering about Emma's full backstory, and while I could've just infodumped the heck out of this chapter...well let's just say it would be a bit redundant. Am I possibly hinting at a Side Chapter coming up in a few chapters? Will all of Emma's secrets soon be revealed to you? I dunno 😁.

Good evening! I know I've kept you all waiting, but Chapter 8 is finally complete and here for you to enjoy. I'll just let the chapter speak for itself. I hope you like it, and as always, thank you for reading. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 8: Spaghetti & Secrets June 4th, 2023. 7:24pm My eyes open to the sound of the engine shutting off. That was a hell of a nap. I turn to my left, watching Emma unbuckle her seatbelt. I catch her eye, having noticed my awakening. “Come on sweetie, the quicker we get out, the quicker we can eat.” Groggily, I rub the drowsiness from my eyes before undoing the buckle, and stepping out of the car. I step into the parking lot, looking up at the brightened marquee before me; it reads La Luce Della Sera. “The night light?” I ask, unsure of the translation. “Close, my love. It means ‘The Evening Light’. But I guess ‘Night Light’ would be more appropriate for you, wouldn’t it?” I can feel my face becoming warm, doubly so when she takes my hand, walking me up to the stained glass doors. We stop just before entering, and Emma turns to look at me. “Now, how do you want this date to go? Would you like to stay in control, or would you like Mommy to take care of ordering for you?” Oh goddess, that really pushes my buttons. Should I just give in, and allow her to take hold of the evening? But it’s been so long since we’ve had a real date night. “I think tonight should just be about us, enjoying the evening without play.” Emma looks a bit disappointed but accepts my answer. “Alright love, let’s get inside.” Entering through the doors, my eyes take a second to adjust to the bright lighting inside. Hand in hand, we approach the host stand. A young gentleman looks up from his service screen. His well-dressed attire does not match his face, adorned with the horrifying side effects of puberty. I can tell from his skin that he washes daily, but the acne of youth seems to persist. “Hello, welcome to La Luce Della Sera. My name is Matt. Table for two?” “Yes, thank you, Matt.” Emma’s voice comes out in that professional tone I know, reserved for business meetings and professional scenarios. I guess this place is pretty fancy. “Perfect, we actually have a booth opened up at the moment; let me show you to your seats.” I’m glad we don’t have to wait, I’d probably starve to death if I had to stand here for too long. We follow Matt towards the back end of the restaurant, passing the tables adorned with pristine white tablecloths. I can smell the food of the other patrons, my mouth watering in anticipation. Reaching a small booth at the back corner of the establishment, he places a couple of menus down on the table. “Your server shall be with you shortly.” “Thank you, hun. Here, for your troubles.” She pulls a neatly folded Twenty from her purse, which Matt seems to be grateful for. Too many people forget to tip the host. “It’s my pleasure ma’am. Let me know if you need anything.” He returns to the host desk after a small bow, and we take our seats. I step into the C-shaped seating, sinking into the red-leathered upholstery. Emma does the same, setting her handbag underneath the tablecloth, the accessory disappearing from view. On the dining surface, a pair of menus sit in front of us, and silverware to the sides, wrapped up in maroon napkins. I can almost make out my reflection from the glassy finish of the rolled-up cutlery. “Dang Em, this place is beautiful. There’s such an aura to this establishment, like love clings to the very air,” She places her elbows on the table, clasping her hands together. She leans forward, giving me that smile I so adore. I said something right. One point for Roxie. I can feel my face becoming flushed, and I return her smile with one of my own; perhaps not one of the same confidence, but lovingly just the same, or so I hope. Looking at her now, it’s almost easy to forget that this was the same woman paddling my backside just a few hours ago. But looking at her now, I just see her. I see Emma, the woman who found me years ago, at my lowest point. The one who took me in, sheltered me, gave me warmth, and most of all, gifted me with her love. At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter what role we’re playing, or what contract we signed. To me, whether I call her “Mommy” or “Ma’am”, she’s still Emma at heart, and if I had to guess, it’s probably the same for her. Underneath all the diapers, onesies, and littleness, I’m still Roxie to her. But then, like a scratched DVD skipping to a different part of the scene, my mind flashes an afterimage to me. The contract. It says that I should call her " Ma’am " when out and about. Does that apply right now? I mean, I AM diapered at the moment. Even though I’m wearing ‘big-girl clothes’ over it, it’s still there. Are the rules still in effect? Did I already break one of them? I know I won’t find the answer inside my head, so I work up my nerve to ask. “Emma, should I…how should I refer to you right now?” My voice comes out as a shy whisper, not wanting those dining around us to overhear. “I mean, I know we’re on a date right now, but with…my current attire…what does that mean? Should I…call you…Ma’am right now.” It seems like I can’t stop blushing tonight. I probably look like a tomato dressed in black. This seems to get a humorous response from Emma, chuckling behind her closed hands. Was…was something I said funny? “Sorry baby, I’m not laughing at you, I just wasn’t expecting that one,” I feel slightly relieved, if not a tad bit ticked. “We’re on a grown-up date, so of course you can call me Emma.” “Sorry, I just thought…with the contract…” I can’t continue. I feel like I’m wearing a big ol’ dunce cap right now. “Oh, I see now,” she unclasps her hands and lays one of them face up on the table, opening her fingers. I place my hand on top, feeling her soft grip around my palm. “Honey, the contract is just a guideline, not doctrine. All it does is give us a clear idea of how we should act when playing; it doesn’t change anything about our romantic relationship. Right now, you’re an adult, despite your special underwear,” I know she’s being quiet enough for others to remain unaware, but I glance around, my paranoia briefly taking hold of my senses. Only after seeing for myself that everyone else is too wrapped up in their conversations do I return my eyes to Emma. “And when you’re an adult, you can assume the contract no longer applies. If we were on a ‘playdate’ on the other hand, things would be different, but tonight, you can call me Emma.” I feel much calmer having discussed my worries. I begin to get lost in those beautiful eyes of hers; so much so, that I almost don’t notice the arrival of our waitress. “Hello, welcome to La Luce Della Sera! My name’s Abby, and I’ll be your waitress for the evening,” Her plucky demeanor pulls all of the emotions out of the air, grounding me back to reality. “Can I start you off with something to drink? I highly recommend the Pinot Noir.” NOPE. No more alcohol, ever. My stomach turns just thinking of my drunken escapade. Besides, even if I wanted to drink, I have to drive my car back tonight, so that’s off the table. “Just a Diet Coke for me, please.” “And I’ll take a water, thank you.” I can see Abby is disappointed by our choices but writes them down in her notepad, her smile slightly cracking, but remaining on her face. I guess this place is big on upselling. “Alright, I’ll get those for you right away. Do you need a moment, or are you ready to order?” Shit, I almost forgot why we’re here. I hadn’t even begun to look over the menu, let alone make my choice. I look over to Emma and see her in the same conundrum. “I think we need a couple of moments.” Abby gives a small bow at my answer. “Of course ma’am. Take all of the time you need. I’ll be back in a few moments with your drinks.” She rushes towards the back of the restaurant, heading behind the swinging back door. No more words are exchanged between Emma and I, each busy burying our noses in the menus before us. I look over the entrees, mouth watering at the tantalizing pictures, before my eyes pop out of my head. What the fuck?!? Did they accidentally type an extra zero…on every price? I don’t think my wallet will survive the night. I’m now regretting spending so much at the card shop, not to mention the double shots from the prior evening. “Hey Em, this place might be a bit too…fancy for me,” She quizically raises her brow, unsure of what I mean. “I’m saying I don’t think I can afford these prices right now.” “You spent the last of your paycheck on cards and drinks, didn’t you?” I look away, too ashamed to answer. “Don’t worry babe, I’ve got tonight covered. After all, date night was my idea. We’ve really got to talk about your spending habits, but for now, let’s focus on tonight.” Says the woman who just set up a nursery in our spare room. I know that’s not fair to think. I know she works hard to earn her massive pay. Besides, I don’t even know how much she spent to get everything put together. In fact, how DID she get it together so quickly? I know I was gone for most of the day, but still, there must have been a lot of work putting everything together. More than that, there was the question of supplies. How do you get an adult-sized crib in the span of a single day? Even with her mysterious “friend”, it’s not like something that size can be finished in the span of an afternoon; the drafting, sanding, priming, it all takes a considerable amount of time. From my late nights of reading about ABDL ventures and businesses, I know that a crib is weeks, if not months, of work. Not to mention the stocking of supplies. Thinking back, the shelves were full of diapers, some with designs I know weren't in my personal stash. How did she get them so quickly? Even if she ordered them the same day she caught me, even the fastest shipping wouldn’t have gotten them there in time. It’s not like we had a fetish store anywhere near us; trust me, I’ve checked. The crib, the diapers, the pad for the changing table, none of it quite makes sense…unless she already had some supplies on hand. Has she…done this with someone else? She mentioned being into Ageplay, but how much of this does she have first-hand experience with? Her actions the other night didn’t feel like that of an amateur. It was too confident, too knowledgeable. What exactly hasn’t she told me? The pieces seem to fall into place, but the picture isn’t complete. The only thing that would make the most sense would be that she got a lot of the supplies from her unknown friend, or that same friend was holding onto stuff for her. Perhaps a mix of both? But that leaves me with more questions than answers. Like, what sort of friend would just happen to have a crib ready to go? If he did give her some supplies, was it some sort of favor, or did he ask for compensation? Same with the crib. In all the years I’ve known her, I’ve never, not once, seen Emma frivolously spend money. Perhaps this could’ve been an exception? But even that wouldn’t explain everything. If her friend was anything like me, their supplies were purchased for a reason. Someone is, or was, using them. And if that’s the case, whoever was using, or was going to use them, gave them up. Hundreds, perhaps thousands if you count the crib, of dollars of supplies, just given away? Money or no money, it doesn’t make sense to me. Just who is this friend of hers? I was so lost in thought, that I forgot where I was for a moment, only regaining my senses by the clearing of a throat to my side. Abby stands next to the table, pen and paper in hand. “And for you, Ma’am?” Shit, I was too lost in thought! Quick, what’s a good choice? Umm, AH THERE! “Sorry, I’ll have the Tagliatelle Bolognese, please.” Our waitress quickly scribbles the order down, her patience with me clearly being tested. “Alright, that’s one Cod Arracanato and one Tagliatelle Bolognese. Would you like anything else this evening?” “No, thank you. That will be all.” Abby accepts Emma’s answer, returning once again to the kitchen to place the order. Damn Rox, now’s not the time to get lost in thoughts. “You alright babe?” Emma looks me over, curious about my recent distraction. I wonder if she knows what’s going through my head. “Ye…yeah, I’m fine, just hungry is all.” *** It doesn’t take too long for our food to arrive, the delicate aroma of authentic Italian cuisine bringing a tear to my eye. Don’t drool, don’t drool, don’t drool. It takes all of my effort to keep my composure, the steaming concoction of sauce, meat, and pasta just begging to be devoured. “I hope you both enjoy! Please let me know if you need anything else this evening.” With our thanks, Abby heads off to help the rest of the tables in her section. I unwrap the silverware, take the fork, and twist it around in the heavenly dish. I place the pasta in my mouth, slurping up the few strands hanging off the ball. My tastebuds react instantly, the combination of flavors covering my tongue. “Oh my goddess, this may just be the best Bolognese I’ve ever had.” Emma laughs in response. “I’m glad you’re enjoying your dish, but you’ve got sauce on your chin.” I quickly pick up the napkin, dabbing my face off before going in for another bite. Whilst my eating style is…unrefined, Emma’s affairs with the upper echelons of society have brought her dining skills up to the pro level, expertly cutting her fish into smaller pieces before gently placing them between her lips. “The cod is impeccable. Would you like to try some?” “No thank you, I’ll stick to the pasts.” Yuck, fish. Unless it was a raw piece of sushi, my body rejects the taste of seafood. We continue dining, only taking small breaks from the food to wet our buds with the drinks. It isn’t long before our plates sit empty, our food completely devoured. I can hear Emma clearing her throat, speaking up for the first time since the arrival of the dishes. “So, about Saturday,” Oh no, I’m in for another lecture, aren’t I? “We didn’t get to talk about any of the fun bits. I mean, Beth, at the card shop, going out for drinks; besides a few slurred comments, I didn’t really get to know how your day went, so let’s fix that.” Phew, that’s a relief. “Well, you didn’t miss too much from the card shop. She had a rather outdated deck, so I folded her with ease. Afterward, we started venting about work, and all of Tom’s bullshit, and she figured this kind of talk is better suited to a bar rather than over a card table. So, we get to the bar, start off with a shot, talk shit about the quarterly deadline, and had some more shots. I only vaguely remember the rest of the night. It’s kind of a blur from that point on.” I see her twisting the ring around her finger, looking…apprehensive? She’s worried about something, but what? “So, you mentioned something about her having two boyfriends? What’s that about?” Her eyes flicker between me and the glass of water on the table, picking it up and taking a gulp. She rests the glass back down, the liquid inside splashing around from the uneven movement. I guess I remember Beth telling me about that. The details could be clearer, but I remember the gist. Why…why is that what she remembers? “Yeah…she told me how they met, and how their 4-year anniversary was coming up. I think it was something involving body shots and a piñata. Why do you ask?” Her fingers circle the rim of the glass, a low-pitched whine just barely audible above the hustle and bustle of the busy eatery. It’s a habit of hers that I know all too well. When something is bothering her, or she has something on her mind, Emma’s fingers never sit still. They fidget, almost as if the thoughts in her head are trying to make their way out through physical action. “And what do you think of that…Polyamory, I mean? Ha, I mean, it’s kinda crazy, right?” Her nervous laugh stands out immediately. Where is she going with this? I’m getting a clearer picture of the puzzle, with more and more pieces falling into place, but I need to push this a bit farther to be certain. I choose my words with precision, and like laying down a trap card, I’m leaving no room for error. “I don’t think it’s crazy at all. Unconventional, sure, but love is unconventional. After all, even a date between two women was once considered ‘unconventional’, but here we are, enjoying the evening. It’s like I always say; love is love, no matter the form.” “Yeah, I guess you would say that.” The circling of the rim increases in speed, the pitch increasing to a mid-tone. It’s time for the final nail in the coffin. “Emma,” I take her hand away from the glass, holding it tight. She looks a bit surprised at the role reversal, but she doesn’t pull away. “I know when you’re hiding something from me. I can see it as clearly as a full moon in the sky, so don’t bother denying it. This ‘friend’ of yours, the one who helped you out yesterday, there’s more to it than that, isn’t there?” It’s hard for me to tell exactly what she’s feeling right now. There seems to be a range of emotions coursing through her: surprise, anticipation, worry, but mainly fear. “It always surprises me how smart you are, Roxie.” While I don’t know the details, I know that feeling. The one of being caught, and having something so personal dragged out into the open. It was only just recently that I was going through the same fears, the same worries. I rub my fingers over her knuckles, the reassuring gesture seeming to lighten a bit of the emotional load. “You’ve been so fantastic these past few days, listening to me, helping me explore this world of ours. Now, it’s my turn. Tell me everything Amore, and don’t spare a single detail.” *** “WOW,” I knew I was right on the money, but damn Emma! I never knew you had that in you! “So you, Alex, and Jessica were an item? I’ve gotta say, that explains so much.” “Like what?” Emma’s smile returns, but it’s not the confident smirk that I’ve grown so used to. It’s more…open. Vulnerable, even. I can tell her explanation has left her walls down, the front having been worn to ashes. “Well, it explains…everything really. I mean, your supplies, your knowledge of the ‘craft’, the way you handle yourself during our ‘activities’, that all comes with experience. Even with the BDSM background, there’s no way to just instantly translate that into Ageplay. At least, not as effectively as you’ve done. But the Poly part, now THAT was unexpected.” “The good kind of unexpected, or the ‘my girlfriend is a perv’ kind?” There’s humor in Emma’s voice, mixed with that remaining hint of negativity. “Are you kidding babe? After everything we’ve done with each other, do you honestly think a little Polyamory is going to weird me out? There’s only one thing I have to ask. Why did you wait so long to tell me? I get not letting me know in the beginning; we were still getting to know each other. But it’s been 2 years, Em. You could’ve let me know you had that sort of relationship, even if you left out all the kinky business.” Emma looks deep into my eyes, her glossy retinas reflecting the glow of the lighting. “I know, I should’ve talked to you about this sooner. I guess…a part of me was afraid. Afraid of how you would take it. Like, maybe some part of you would feel at fault for me ending things with them. It’s just that I liked you so much, and knowing the relationship troubles you went through…I dunno. Maybe I thought it would be too complex, too strange of a situation to find yourself in. I’ve never felt that kind of fear about anything, for anyone. So I stepped away from two of the people I was closest to and pretended to be this boring, vanilla, in-control woman that I thought you needed. It was stupid, but I guess…I didn’t want to lose you.” Oh Emma, you beautiful, sweet idiot. I slide myself around the bend of the booth, getting face-to-face with this amazing woman. “You will never lose me, Emma. Sorry to say it, but you’re stuck with me.” I bring my lips closer, bridging the distance even further. I lock them with hers, ignoring the taste of fish on her breath. For her, I’ll deal with it. I break off from the kiss, moving my lips to her ear. “You wanna know what else?” I can feel her bated breath on my neck. “The whole Poly thing? It’s pretty hot.” Emma breaks out into a fit of laughs, causing me to back away slightly. Well, that wasn’t exactly the reaction I was looking for. I can see heads turning from the other tables at the sudden outburst, before returning to their own business. “So…sorry, it’s just,” Emma tries to get her words out between the giggles. “You’re messing with me, right?” “Nope!” I say as I lay my head on her shoulder, the giggles seceding. “You said…Alex was his name? Well, you mentioned his open offer. If that’s something you’re still interested in, I suppose I wouldn’t mind giving some group play a try.” I can feel her body shifting into mine, her head tilting down to look at me. “Are you sure Roxie? That’s kind of a big step to take, especially since we’ve only just begun figuring out the dynamic with just us.” It’s my turn to let out a chuckle, although not one as loud as hers. “I’m not saying it has to happen right away, or even at all. All I’m saying is that I’m more than open to the idea.” Speaking of openings, I can feel my bladder getting ready to burst. “Oh, and one more thing.” “What’s that?” She looks at me for a moment before I close my eyes, letting the dam break. I let out a long sigh, feeling the warmth between my legs. Seconds pass, and I open my eyes to see her staring at me, that confident grin having returned in earnest. “Did you just do what I think you did?” “What can I say, the drinks just went right through me.” I look up at her, not noticing her hand moving downwards until I feel her hand along the hem of my jeans. I jump a bit in place. “Em, what’re you doing?” I ask in a hushed whisper. “I’m just giving you a quick check sweetie. Don’t worry, you’re completely covered by the tablecloth. As long as you don’t move around too much, nobody will be none the wiser.” I look down, seeing the truth in her words. My body is almost completely obstructed in my current position, but my heartbeat refuses to slow down. I can feel her hand entering into my pants, expertly making its way towards my crotch. I feel her hand gently cup the exterior of my padding through the end of the onesie. There’s no way this is an effective check. “Good job sweetie, you certainly filled your diaper up.” Her hushed tones send a shiver down my spine, making it hard to stay inconspicuous. I can feel my member come to life, enjoying the sensation. Her hand quickly exits from around my body, and I almost groan aloud at its removal. AWW! Why did she stop? I can see my answer walking towards us, the bill in hand. “Thank you for dining with us this evening. I hope you two lovebirds enjoyed your time at La Luce Della Sera!” Yeah, Abby, I was having a great time until you ruined it! I fight my urge to scowl at the poor girl as Emma grabs the check. “Thank you, Abby. We had a fantastic evening. Thank you for your exceptional service.” Emma, how are you always so polite? I watch her grab her purse, placing a few bills inside before handing the check back to Abby. “It was my pleasure looking after you two this evening. Ask for me anytime, I’m here most evenings.” With her farewell, the waitress leaves once more to attend to the rest of her duties. “Alright baby, let’s get out of here.” Emma takes hold of my hand as we both exit the booth, making our way to the entrance. We wave our goodbyes to Matt, who offers a nod in return, as we step out into the evening air. *** The ride over to my car is a short, but sweet one. I refused to let go of Emma’s hand, leaving her with only a single one on the steering wheel. I had hoped we could stay in this bliss forever, enjoying the passing lights of the cars and buildings, but all too soon, we pulled up to the bar’s parking lot. A thing isn’t beautiful because it lasts, right? “Alright my love, we’re here. Do you just want to follow behind me?” “Thanks, Em, but if you don’t mind, I think I’m going to sit in my car for a moment and just think for a bit.” I had a lot going through my head and could use a moment to sort through my thoughts. Emma looks at me, concerned for a moment, before seemingly brushing it off. “Alright, well don’t sit for too long. Don’t forget, you’ve got work tomorrow.” No need to remind me. After all the excitement this weekend, I’m almost looking forward to some normality. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back in no time!” I quickly give her a peck on the cheek before unbuckling myself and opening the door. “I’ll see you at home, Mommy.” “Okay baby, I’ll make sure a ‘night light’ is on for you.” I chuckle before stepping out into the brisk autumn night and closing the door behind me. Walking towards my car, I can see the lights from behind me begin to vanish as she pulls into the road. It’s been about five seconds, but I miss her already. Getting to the door of my own vehicle, I pull my keys out of my pocket, hearing the chirp from my beloved ‘Susie’. “I missed you too, old girl.” Hopping inside, I let my shoulders lean back into the familiar cushion. Looking at the passenger seat, I see my bag of purchases from yesterday. Well, now's as good of a time as any. I pull the cassette box out, removing the tape from its shield. I pick up my walkman from the passenger side floor, pop the tape in, and plug in the aux adapter. Grabbing my keys, I turn the ignition on, the engine sputtering to life. Glad you’re still kicking my friend. The audio clicks to life, and I notice the very ending of Track 2. “Huh, I guess the last owner wasn’t kind and didn’t rewind,” I say to myself. I open up the glove box, hesitating for a moment before pulling out my pack of smokes. Only fitting for this next track. I just managed to light the tip before Track 3 begins in earnest. I let the mellow tones of the guitar fill my ears as I take a drag. Some demons are easier to battle than others. I take just a couple more hits before extinguishing the ashes in the cupholder, leaving the half-finished cigarette to die out. But that doesn’t mean I can’t make an effort. I sit there for just a moment longer, listening as the track fades out. So many things have happened, whether it’s the events of tonight or the weekend as a whole. Honestly, I should feel overwhelmed, but I don’t. I strangely feel content. No, that's not it. I feel…peaceful. Even considering the future, something that used to be a source of anxiety, was now something to look forward to. A positive, rather than a negative. I buckle my seatbelt as Track 4 begins to play, and I shift the gear into reverse, slowly backing out of the spot. I pull out into the road, looking forward to rejoining my love at home and climbing into our warm bed for some deserved rest. Wait, don’t I have a crib now? I wonder if I’m sleeping there from now on. Eh, there’s only one way to find out. (End of Act I) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thank you for reading Act 1 of Embracing Oneself. I'm currently hard at work on the next chapter, and I'm really looking forward to you all seeing what's to come. Chapter 9 should be out in a couple days, barring any delays. Once again, thank you very much for reading.

Update & Chapter 8 Preview Hello there! I know it's been a few days, and some of you are probably wondering: "Hey, where's chapter 8?" Well, let me address those concerns. Chapter 8 is coming along well, just a bit slower than I'd have liked. I'd say I'm just about 65-70 percent through writing the chapter. I've had some personal stuff going on in my life the past couple of days, and didn't have as much time to write as I had hoped. Between work and those other issues, my work on here had become rather limited. Could I have just rushed out the chapter. perhaps, but I wouldn't do that to my readers. In my opinion, just rushing to get something out only results in a work of lesser quality, which is not my goal here. Regardless of the end result, I want each and every chapter to represent the best of my work, and holding myself to such (admittedly unnecessarily and harsh) standards means that Chapter 8 is taking a bit. You won't have to wait for too long though, as I've resumed my usual pacing, and should have it posted in the next couple of days. As mentioned in a previous post, this will mark the end of "Act 1" of the story, and will begin to wrap up a couple of things. In "Act 2", you can expect a lot of scenes that dive into play, such as chapters 3 and 7. In fact, I'd consider 3 and 7 to be quite "tame" in comparison to some of my later plans. Let's just say, some foreshadowing will be paying off, and rather quickly. I don't want to give too much away, but I will say this; Roxie will find what she was always looking for. For now, I'll leave you all to ruminate on that, and since its been a little while since you've had something to read, I'll give you a quick preview of Chapter 8.Thank you all for your patience, and I hope you look forward to reading the full chapter 8 soon. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- June 4th, 2023. 7:24pm My eyes open to the sound of the engine shutting off. That was a hell of a nap. I turn to my left, watching Emma unbuckle her seatbelt. I catch her eye, having noticed my awakening. “Come on sweetie, the quicker we get out, the quicker we can eat.” Groggily, I rub the drowsiness from my eyes before undoing the buckle, and stepping out of the car. I step into the parking lot, looking up at the brightened marquee before me; it reads La Luce Della Sera. “The night light?” I ask, unsure of the translation. “Close, my love. It means ‘The Evening Light’. But I guess ‘Night Light’ would be more appropriate for you, wouldn’t it?” I can feel my face becoming warm, doubly so when she takes my hand, walking me up to the stained glass doors. We stop just before entering, and Emma turns to look at me. “Now, how do you want this date to go? Would you like to stay in control, or would you like Mommy to take care of ordering for you?” Oh goddess, that really pushes my buttons. Should I just give in, and allow her to take hold of the evening? But it’s been so long since we’ve had a real date night. “I think tonight should just be about us, enjoying the evening without play.” Emma looks a bit disappointed but accepts my answer. “Alright love, let’s get inside.” Entering through the doors, my eyes take a second to adjust to the bright lighting inside. Hand in hand, we approach the host stand. A young gentleman looks up from his service screen. His well-dressed attire does not match his face, adorned with the horrifying side effects of puberty. I can tell from his skin that he washes daily, but the acne of youth seems to persist. “Hello, welcome to La Luce Della Sera. My name is Matt. Table for two?” “Yes, thank you, Matt.” Emma’s voice comes out in that professional tone I know, reserved for business meetings and professional scenarios. I guess this place is pretty fancy. “Perfect, we actually have a booth opened up at the moment; let me show you to your seats.” I’m glad we don’t have to wait, I’d probably starve to death if I had to stand here for too long. We follow Matt towards the back end of the restaurant, passing the tables adorned with pristine white tablecloths. I can smell the food of the other patrons, my mouth watering in anticipation. Reaching a small booth at the back corner of the establishment, he places a couple of menus down on the table. “Your server shall be with you shortly.” “Thank you, hun. Here, for your troubles.” She pulls a neatly folded Twenty from her purse, which Matt seems to be grateful for. Too many people forget to tip the host. “It’s my pleasure ma’am. Let me know if you need anything.” He returns to the host desk after a small bow, and we take our seats. I step into the C-shaped seating, sinking into the red-leathered upholstery. Emma does the same, setting her handbag underneath the tablecloth, the accessory disappearing from view. On the dining surface, a pair of menus sit in front of us, and silverware to the sides, wrapped up in maroon napkins. I can almost make out my reflection from the glassy finish of the rolled-up cutlery. “Dang Em, this place is beautiful. There’s such an aura to this establishment, like love clings to the very air,” She places her elbows on the table, clasping her hands together. She leans forward, giving me that smile I so adore. I said something right. One point for Roxie. I can feel my face becoming flushed, and I return her smile with one of my own; perhaps not one of the same confidence, but lovingly just the same, or so I hope. Looking at her now, it’s almost easy to forget that this was the same woman paddling my backside just a few hours ago. But looking at her now, I just see her. I see Emma, the woman who found me years ago, at my lowest point. The one who took me in, sheltered me, gave me warmth, and most of all, gifted me with her love. At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter what role we’re playing, or what contract we signed. To me, whether I call her “Mommy” or “Ma’am”, she’s still Emma at heart, and if I had to guess, it’s probably the same for her. Underneath all the diapers, onesies, and littleness, I’m still Roxie to her. But then, like a scratched DVD skipping to a different part of the scene, my mind flashes an afterimage to me. The contract. It says that when out and about, I should be calling her “Ma’am”. Does that apply right now? I mean, I AM diapered at the moment. Even though I’m wearing ‘big-girl clothes’ over it, it’s still there. Are the rules still in effect? Did I already break one of them? I know I won’t find the answer inside my head, so I work up my nerve to ask.

Welcome to the first "Side Chapter" to the story. I do want to give some warning for the content ahead. This chapter was one of the hardest things I've ever had to write, and it's not an easy read. I would recommend not reading this in a negative headspace, as the content inside is...well it's a lot. I would understand if you need to take a break reading through it, 'cause I had to take quite a few just to finish it. I do hope you're able to finish it though, because despite the dark subject matters within, there's a part of the story that is somewhat beautiful, like the calm in the middle of the storm. Just remember one thing while reading: at the end of a long night, the sun will rise once again. Thank you for reading. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Side Chapter: Prologue - A Fateful Encounter (CW: Homophobia, Transphobia, Domestic Abuse, Parental Abuse, Slurs, Blood, Deadnaming, Violence) April 8th, 2021. 10:38pm “What. The. Fuck. You’re a fucking dude?!?” Shit, I thought I locked the bathroom door. Johnny stands at the entrance, rage emanating from his pores. All I needed to do was take a shower, and wash the stress of the day from my body. I barely managed to remove my pants before my boyfriend barged his way in. The look on his face is one I know all too well; one of bigoted disgust. I guess we’re not doing date night. I wanted to take things slow with us, having refused to show him my body, afraid of this exact situation. It’s just like before…with HIM. I don’t want to go back there, but my mind refuses to heel, bringing me back to that day. *** “Dad, please!!! I’m still the same person, I…” I’m cut off by the glass bottle being chucked at me from across the room. Pain shoots through my shoulder blade, and I reflexively move my hand to stop the bleeding, managing to dig a shard deeper inside. I pull my hand back, covered in crimson. “I’m not going to have some sort of faggot freak for a son! Get the fuck out!” There’s no room for discussion. That same rage and disgust, reserved for the ‘degenerates’, was now focused directly on me. I turn to Mom, tears welling in my eyes, hoping that she can help me out here. “Mom, please, can you try and talk sense into him?!? You know me! Please, Mom.” She doesn’t look at me, but I can tell she’s crying. “Ricky, you should leave,” she briefly glances my way before returning her eyes to the floor. “Please, before you make things worse.” I fall to my knees, utterly defeated. Dad gets up from his ratty-ass leather chair and goes to the back door. “I’m going for a smoke. You have 5 minutes. If you’re still here by the time I’m back, I’ll bury you in the yard!” He makes his exit, Mom following suit. The door closes behind her, and I can hear the sounds of a shouting match between them. I can’t make out the words, but I understand the emotions: rage, sorrow, bitterness. I don’t need to be told twice. I march my way over to the front door, slamming it shut. I run to my car, pulling the keys out of my pocket and unlocking the door as quickly as I can manage. My shaky keys fumble with the ignition, desperate to get out of this place. I drive. I’m not sure where, or for how long, but I drive. In my autopilot, I must have ended up in the empty parking lot of the old gas station, long since closed down. I twist the key, turning off the ignition. I’m finally able to return to my senses. The pain in my shoulder, adrenaline having worn off, throbs intently, the large shard of glass sticking out. I reach over one of the many boxes inside the car and open up the glove box. I pull out a small red box; an emergency first-aid kit. Opening it up, I pull out a pair of tweezers, a large band-aid, and some peroxide. Tweezers in hand, I take hold of the shard, preparing myself for the following anguish. “FUUUCK!!!” The glass dislodges from my body, blood trickling down my shoulder. I quickly pour the peroxide onto the wound. At first, nothing seems to happen, but then, perhaps the worst pain I’ve ever endured shoots through my body. I drop the bottle, the contents spilling over my jeans, and I clench my teeth. “ARGH!” I don’t have time to stop though, and I hurriedly put the band-aid over the top of the gash. The band-aid doesn’t hold out for long, blood pushing through the cotton wick, so I pull out a second one, replacing the used bandage. “That’ll have to do for now.” I think to myself, hoping the bandage will at least protect the wound from infection. I reach back into the glove box, pulling out my hidden pack of cigarettes. “How disgusting. They’re even the same brand as that bastards” I light the tip and inhale, hoping that something, anything would make me feel better. But it doesn’t. I can feel the tears streaming down my face, the sobs echoing through the interior. “I’ve…lost everything.” I release my emotions, letting out a blood-curdling scream, as loud and for as long as my lungs allow. I cry, I wail, I lament. “It’s dark now.” That’s all I can think, looking at the night sky. “But…it’s beautiful.” The stars are shining brightly, unobscured in the dead of night. I take a look at the moon, radiant in its crescent form. It…gives me hope. “I don’t need them. I can live my life just fine without them in it.” Out of all the pain and turmoil that today had brought, I did gain something, something irreplaceable. I was finally free. I could be…me. *** That same pain, one of rage and shame, bubbles up inside me. I walk over to Johnny, jabbing my finger into his chest. “I AM NOT A ‘FUCKING DUDE’, I’M A FUCKING WOMAN!” I let my words drip with venom. I don’t care if I’ve been dating him for 2 months, I won’t let anybody talk to me like that. “Oh really? Could’ve fooled me with that cock between your legs!” His unwarranted anger only adds fuel to my own fire. “I told you before I moved in that I was different! Too bad you spent all that time looking at my ass. Perhaps if you paid more attention, you would’ve fucking noticed!” I continue to press into him, until he grabs my hand, bending my wrist back. “LET GO OF ME, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!” Keeping hold of my hand, he tosses me out of the bathroom. I land on my ass with a thud, getting rug burn across my upper thighs. “By weird, I thought you meant all your Wiccan crap, not that you were some kind of freak!” Freak. Freak. Freak! That fucking word! I don’t even register getting to my feet or marching up to him. Only when my palm makes contact with his face, the slap hitting his mouth, do I even realize what I’ve done. He looked stunned, like nobody had ever dared to hit him before. I hold my hand in front of my face, appalled by my actions. “Johnny…I…” His fist barrels into my abdomen, and I bend over, falling to the floor. I gasp, trying to regain the air that had been sucked into my lungs. “You fucking bitch! I can’t believe I ever let you suck me off!” I wish I could say something witty, something clever, maybe some remark about his small dick, but I can’t. I’m unable to catch my breath. I struggle to just barely breathe. He grabs me by the hair, dragging me to the front door. I can some hair follicles pulling from my scalp, sending my pain receptors into overdrive. Despite the pain, all I can manage to let out between ragged exhales are small yelps. He tosses me out into the hallway, my head banging against the wall of the apartment complex. I see stars for a moment, unable to notice my bag flying towards my face. It hits its intended mark, one of the rounded spikes poking into the flesh just below my eye. “Fu…fucking dick…” My vision clears enough to see him standing behind the door, vitriol in his eyes. “We’re done. Stay the fuck away from me, queer!” He slams the door shut, locking it behind him. Fuck…fuck, I can’t stay here. The noise must have awoken at least some of the neighbors, and I don’t want them to see me like this; bruised up and pantsless. I grab my purse, running as fast as my battered legs can manage, going through the entrance and exiting into the city street. Where am I going? Where can I even go? I make my way down the sidewalk, my bare feet crunching the loose bits of debris and trash beneath them. I wish I hadn’t left my car at work. I make it a few blocks down the road, the lamplight giving me just enough ability to see, without allowing me to know where I am. I’m new to the city, only having moved here a couple of months back to start my new job, so I have no idea where I am right now. I could be in the absolute safest part of the city, or it could be the opposite. I have no way of telling which. But in my current state, I hope it’s not the latter. I’m an easy target right now. I can feel my legs start to tire, the panicked rush from earlier having subsided. I don’t think I can go on much longer. I spot an alleyway to my right, looking like a relatively safe spot for me to catch my breath. I lean against the wall, letting my body sink to the cold, damp concrete, sending a chill through my body. I open up my bag, pleading to the gods that I left my phone inside. I fumble my hand around through the dark, hoping to feel the glass of the screen somewhere inside. I eventually find it, quickly pulling it out and hitting the power button. The screen flickers to life, but my heart drops. 1% battery life. As quickly as the light illuminated the space around me, my beacon of hope died, trapping me in the surrounding darkness once more. Why? Why does this always happen to me? Why do I allow people to get close to me, only to get hurt in return? I thought I didn’t need anyone, but the pain inside my heart tells me a different story. I need somebody, anybody, who will just accept me. That’s all. Not love, not adoration, but acceptance. But they won’t. They never do. I curl up, resting my head in my knees, for comfort, and for warmth. Suddenly, I’m that 18-year-old girl again, getting kicked out of the house, abandoned by the ones who were supposed to love her. I cry out into the night, taking at least some small comfort that nobody is around to see me break down. I’m so disgusting. *** Next time Andrew wants to ‘meet a client for drinks’, he can at least pick a spot with decent parking. I exit the quaint establishment into the chilly evening air, pulling my scarf tight across my neck to keep warm. It hadn’t been a total lie; we did meet a client, and the two manchildren did partake in more than a few drinks, but I had hoped to at least discuss our plans for the quarterly budget. Instead, I spent the evening watching my colleague downing shots with a man old enough to be my father. If I wanted to see a bunch of grown-ass men acting like frat boys, I could’ve done so on TV, from the comfort of home. After dodging their 5th attempt to get me to drink with them, I had finally found an excuse worthy of my exit. “Sorry, I have to be up in the morning, there’s a doctor’s appointment I have to make.” A total fib, but at least it got me out of there. I have a rare day off tomorrow, and I sure as shit wasn’t going to spend it nursing a hangover. I continue walking down the city street, thinking of all the ways I can spend my time relaxing. Maybe I’ll go out to the movies, or treat myself to a little shopping trip. I wonder if Alex and Jessica are free. Maybe we can have a little playtime. I turn right on the block, and my train of thought is thrown off track. I can hear a series of strange noises ahead of me. Is that…is someone crying? I follow the sound down the street, coming up to an alley on my left. It’s definitely coming from here. “Hello? Is someone there?” Some part of my mind thinks this could be a bad idea. I mean, who would be crying in an alley this late at night? Perhaps my mind was playing tricks on me. Or maybe it was just a street cat, crying out in hunger. I don’t get to wonder for too long though, as my question is soon answered. “GO THE FUCK AWAY!” That voice…it’s in such pain. I pull my phone out of my pocket, turning the flashlight on, and lighting up the area. A few feet from where I’m standing, I can see the source of the cries; a young woman, curled on the ground with tears coming from her eyes. You heard her, you should just leave her alone. This isn’t any of your business. But I take a closer look at her. She is not okay. Just looking at her face, I can see a large welt under her eye, having turned a nasty shade of purple. Her legs, tightened up around body, are covered in bruises and abrasions. Her bare feet, having turned white from the cold, are adorned with cuts along the bottom. What in the hell happened to her? I barely took a step forward before she pushed her body further back into the dark alley. “Stay away from me!” This isn’t normal. It’s a trauma response. I hold my hands out in front of me, trying to convey that I mean no harm. “Hey, it’s okay! I’ll stay right where I am. There are better places than an alley to rest, you know,” The girl looks me up and down, trying to determine if I’m a threat. “What’re you doing out here sweetie? You’re certainly not dressed for the cold.” I was underexaggerating. I can see her trying to hold back her shivers, the lone shirt around her body not being nearly enough to keep warm in the daytime, let alone a night like this. “That’s…none of your business.” She wraps her arms around her legs, keeping her guard up. “That might be, but I’m here now, so it has sort of become my business, wouldn’t you say?” She doesn’t respond, but I can see her arms loosen a bit, becoming a bit more relaxed towards my presence. “Would you mind if I take a seat next to you?” The shivering woman raises a brow at my request, not having expected that one. “It’s a free country. Do what you want.” I slowly make my way into the passage. Getting within a couple of feet of her, I begin to kneel, careful to leave enough space between us to not threaten the poor thing. She flinches slightly as I sit down, but doesn’t back away. “How about I introduce myself? I’m Emma, nice to meet you.” I hold my hand out, offering a simple handshake that she doesn’t return. She just stares at me, like I’m some sort of strange creature. “Roxie…” Well, at least she’s talking. That’s a start. “It’s nice to meet you, Roxie. It looks like you’ve had a rough night. My car is right up the road. Can I take you somewhere? Do you have a place to stay?” Her tears return, a sniffle coming out of her nose. “No, my…my ex and I just…broke up,” From her current state, I can tell this was more than a simple lovers quarrel. My blood boils just thinking about what that man could have done to her, but I remain calm and focus on listening to her. “He…called me a freak, and…I can’t go back there. I can’t…” She trails off. A freak? Why would he say such a cruel thing? From her appearance, I can see that she follows more of an…alternative lifestyle, the black of her clothing and hair contrasting with the paleness of her skin, but I certainly wouldn’t call her a freak. But then, things start to click. The subtle signs that people tend to miss; the lightness of a voice spoken from the throat rather than the chest, the way the shirt seems to cling around her form, the unusually small chest for someone her age, and it all begins to make sense. I see what happened. Poor thing. I can’t imagine how she’s feeling right now. “I’m sorry that happened to you,” She looks away from me, staring down at the ground. “Can I call somebody for you? A friend, or a family member.” I’m caught off guard by a cynical chuckle escaping her lips. “No, I don’t have anyone like that. I’m new to the city, and my family…is out of the picture. I’m alone.” My heart breaks into pieces upon the confession. All alone, in a strange new city, and she still has the ability to laugh. “Well, Roxie, at least let me bring you to the hospital. You need to get those wounds taken care of.” She jumps to her feet, her arms wrapping around her waist. Damnit Emma, you pushed too far. “No!” For a second, I think she’s going to take off, and vanish into the night, but she calms down. “Sorry, just…I can’t go to the hospital. I…don’t have insurance at the moment.” This woman really can’t catch a break. What do I even do in this situation? I can’t just leave her here. The temperature will continue to drop, and with her attire, she’d surely freeze to death by morning. There’s only one thing I can think to do. I have to do this gently. I stand up and look into her eyes, shrouded in uncertainty and fear. I make sure the expression on my face is one of pure warmth, and I let my tone become gentle and calm. “Well, I have a first-aid kit back at my place, and my guest bedroom is currently unoccupied. How about I get you fixed up, you can get some sleep, and we can figure this out in the morning. Don’t worry, the door has a lock on it, so you’ll have some privacy.” Her mouth is agape, perhaps unable to comprehend what she just heard. “Why? Why are you doing this? I’m a total stranger. I could be a psychopath, or some kind of criminal. Why would you go so far for someone you just met in an alley?” I slowly reach my hand out. I can see her foot shift a bit, wondering if some sort of assault is coming her way, but she stays in place. She keeps her eyes on me, not exactly trusting me yet, but at the same time, no longer afraid. I place my hand on her shoulder, lightly resting it there. “Why do I need a reason to help someone in need? If I just left you here in the cold, what sort of monster would I be? I help because I can. There’s nothing more to it.” You could say I’m more than a little surprised when I feel her move forward, leaning into my chest. I wrap an arm around her, rubbing concentric circles along the small of her back. “It’s alright. You’re okay. You’re not alone now, Roxie.” I can feel her shivering vibrate my body, so I hold her close, trying to provide my body heat to the cold, sobbing mess. The embrace lasts for a few moments longer, the girl gently pulling away from me. “Sorry, you must think I’m strange, hugging you like that.” I let out a light laugh, and move my arms around my neck. I take off my scarf, wrapping it around her to keep her warm. “It’s alright, I don’t mind,” I hold out my hand, and with a moment's hesitation, she takes it. “Now let’s get out of this place before you catch a cold.” *** The car ride is filled with silence, neither one of us quite sure what to say. I focus on the road, not wanting to stress the girl out with any undue words. I can see her leg tapping about restlessly in the passenger seat from the corner of my eye. It’s but a few moments later that I reach my destination, pulling into my driveway. I unbuckle my seatbelt and step out the door, into the chilly night. It dropped fast. I’m glad I got her out of there when I did. I can hear Roxie stepping out of the passenger side as I make my way up the pathway, turning around as I reach the door, waiting for her to catch up. She makes her way over to me, her hand holding onto her arm in a nervous state. I open the door, flicking the light switch on as I step into my warm abode. Home, sweet home. I make my way inside, tilting my head back to see her standing outside the doorway. “Don’t be shy, come on in,” She looks reluctant, but eventually takes a step, joining me into the living room. I close the door behind us, leaving the chill of the night behind. “Welcome to my place. It’s not much, but make yourself at home.” I can see her eyes darting around, taking in the unfamiliar sights. “It’s…it’s nice. Thank you for having me, I appreciate it.” I smile at her. “Don’t worry about it! Now, the bathroom is right down the hallway over there, first door on the right,” I point in the direction. “There’s a first-aid kit underneath the sink. I can give you a hand if you like. It’s up to you of course.” She glances my way, making the slightest bit of eye contact before looking back towards her feet. “I…I should be fine, thanks.” “Alright, well you take care of that, and I’ll find you some clothes to wear. There’s a shower in there as well. I’d recommend rinsing off before you try and disinfect, just to make sure there’s no grime left.” She seems to perk up at the sound of a shower. “That sounds wonderful. Thank you again, Emma. I don’t know how I’ll repay your kindness.” “Like I said, don’t worry about it, there’s nothing to repay. There are a few guest towels underneath the sink as well, and feel free to help yourself to any sundries you might need.” She opens her mouth, perhaps to thank me again, but settles for a nod, and makes her way to the bathroom. I can hear the click of the lock as the door closes behind her. I take a seat on the sofa, gathering my thoughts. This girl has been through a lot today. She must be completely exhausted. I can hear the sound of water running in the distance, and I remember that I have a job to do. I make my way to the guest bedroom and open up the closet door. I should be able to find something for her to wear here. Rummaging through the hangers and neatly folded piles of clothes, I come up with a suitable outfit; a plain t-shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants. Not the most luxurious look, but it’ll do. I return to the hallway, placing the folded clothes in front of the door. I can hear the faucet turn off, along with the sound of wet feet on tile. I give the door a quiet knock before speaking. “Roxie, I’m going to leave some clothes out here on the floor for you. I’ll be in the living room, just come out when you’re ready.” “Okay, thanks, Emma.” I walk back to the living room, taking my seat once more. I can hear the door open for a brief moment before closing just as quickly. Only a few minutes later, I hear the door open again, and Roxie enters from the hallway. Her wounds have been addressed, bandages covering the worst of them. The borrowed clothes are a bit baggy for her, but they look nice. “Well, you certainly clean up nice.” She blushes and flashes me with a smile. That’s the first time I’ve seen one from her tonight. “Thanks, I probably look better free from blood and dirt. Thank you again for…” She interrupts herself with a yawn. I look over to the clock, noticing the time. It’s late. We could both use some rest. “Why don’t I show you to the guest room so you can catch some sleep?” She nods her head, clearly tired from today's events. I get up from my spot and walk down the hallway with her in tow. We walk inside the room, the light still on from my previous visit. “It’s rather quaint, but the bedding is soft, and the sheets are fresh. I’m sure you’re tired, so I’ll leave you to rest.” I turn to walk out the door, but I’m stopped by her voice. “Wait!” I look at the girl, a panicked expression across her face. “Would you…stay with me for a bit, just until I fall asleep? I…don’t want to be alone right now.” Oh, you sweet, sweet thing. “Of course, whatever you need.” I watch her crawl beneath the covers, and I walk over to the bed, taking a spot on the foot of it. “Thank you, Emma, for everything…” A few moments later, I watch her eyes close, the exhaustion allowing her to pass out in the blink of an eye. That didn’t take long. I get up, careful not to wake the sleeping angel before me. I walk towards the door, flipping the light switch off, allowing the darkness to help her rest. “You’re welcome, Roxie. Sweet dreams,” I whisper before gently closing the door, leaving it cracked just a bit. I make my way to my own room, kicking my shoes off before flopping onto the mattress. I don’t even have time to get underneath the blanket before the sandman takes hold of me, drifting away into slumber. *** I awake to a knock at my door, my body shooting straight up, totally alert. I can hear a voice from the other side. “Emma, it’s Roxie. Thanks again for letting me spend the night.” Roxie…who… The memories of last night flood into me all at once. I decide to respond. “Of course. Help yourself to anything in the fridge. I’m sure you must be hungry.” “Alright, I will, thanks.” I can hear the footsteps fade away, and I let out a sigh. I’m glad she was able to sleep through the night. I grab my phone, still in my pocket, and check the time. 9:24am. Not quite a full 8 hours, but I’ll take it. Just then, a notification goes off, and I see a text from Alex. “Hey Em, you wanna come over? Jess is just dying to see you. XOXO.” I take a moment to reply. “Sorry, I can’t today. A lot happened last night, and a friend needs me right now. I’ll fill you in later.” I hit send and place my phone down on the bed. A friend. For some reason, that doesn’t feel quite right. I don’t know how to explain it, but in the brief period of time since I’ve met Roxie…I don’t know, I feel something. A connection. Stop, Emma. You can’t think like that, not right now. A friend is exactly what she needs right now. I get up from my bed, place my feet into my slippers, and make my way out the door. Making my way through the hallway, I can see Roxie sitting at the table, munching on a piece of bread with peanut butter on the top. I don’t know if that counts as breakfast, but I’m glad she’s eating something. She notices my entrance and gives me a smile, a bit of crumb on her lip. “Morning Emma.” “Good morning! Would you like some coffee? I make a mean brew.” “Sure thing. Lots of cream and sugar in mine, please.” She seems more upbeat today too. “No problem, it will just take a second.” I walk into the kitchen, looking back to see her scarf down the rest of her makeshift meal. I walk to the counter and begin preparing the pot. I sit there, watching the liquid drip through the filter, and think about the girl in my kitchen. No home, no family, and no friends. What is she going to do? What am I going to do? It’s not like I’ll just toss her out to fend for herself. I’ll offer the room to her for a few days, at least until she can get on her feet. No matter her answer, I’ll let her know that I’m here for her, and that she has a…friend she can rely on. Grabbing the mugs, one full of black coffee, the other sweetened to perfection, I walk back into the dining area to see the smile on her face, breathing in the scent of the heavenly bean water. As I look at her, a single thought runs through my mind: Why don’t I want her to leave?

Hello there! Chapter 7 is finally here! This chapter in particular is a pretty "spicy" one, and I had a blast putting it together. I hope you enjoy, and please continue reading after the chapter for a quick update. With that said, here is Chapter 7, and, as always, thank you for reading. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 7: Hurts So Good (CW: Diaper Wetting, Diaper Messing, Spanking, Enema, Oral Sex) June 4th, 2023. 1:41pm A…a spanking? This early? Mommy pats her lap, ushering me to lie across it. “But Mommy, why am I being punished?” I mumble behind the pacifier. “Oh, is my baby confused? Let me clear that up for you then,” She stands up and looks into my eyes. While the height difference between us is only an inch, I can feel her towering over me. “You stayed out late last night, and didn’t think to text me beyond ‘I’ll take an Uber’. You came home drunk, and along with the scent of alcohol, your clothes reeked of cigarette smoke. You then threw up your overindulgence, and the cherry on top? You leaked all over the bathroom floor. Not to mention, you’ve already broken the “no talking” command I gave you. These are all very naughty things. And who do you think is responsible for that? I’ll let you answer.” I feel my sense of shame return, but it’s not alone. I feel…Little. Being talked down to like this, having my misdeeds listed before me, is making me feel incredibly small. “It…it’s my responsibility, Mommy.” She lets out a rather large laugh and places her hand on my head. “Oh no, my silly girl. It’s my responsibility. Mommy needs to teach you right from wrong, to help guide you when needed, and to punish you when necessary.” Oh goddess, my heart won’t stop beating. “So, I’ll say it again; you need to be punished. Now are you going to be a good girl and get over my lap, or are you going to keep being naughty?” Is…is she testing me? I can see it written all over her. This is her way of asking me how I want this scene to go. Well, if I’m going to be a baby, I might as well act like one. “NO! I don’t wanna spanking!” I stomp my foot, capping off my tantrum with the disrespectful act. “I see my baby is going to be a brat today. Well so be it,” Mommy grabs my hand and marches me over to the chair. Pushing me over her lap. I can feel her hand rubbing against my padded rear. “I would say this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you, but Mommy doesn’t tell lies.” A thwap rings through the air, her hand making contact with the diaper. That…didn’t hurt. The cushy material acts as a great insulator for the spanks, with only a slight tingling making its way through the protection. As a series of spanks continue to come, I begin to giggle, and Mommy takes notice. “I’m glad this is funny to you, 'cause this is the warm-up,” She reaches her hand out towards the floor, reaching into a large duffle bag. Rummaging through, she pulls out a wooden paddle, roughly 8 inches in length excluding the handle. “This is where your real spanking begins.” I feel the oak instrument brush against me, rubbing in circles, around and around, until a sudden swat has me flinch. OW! Okay, I felt that one. Even through the diaper, I can feel the sting across my cheeks. Swat after swat makes contact, and I can feel a warmth start to build in my rear. It hurts, but for some reason, it feels good. I don’t want it to stop! Mommy bends her head over, and I can feel her breath on my neck. “Green?” she whispers to me. “Green. Very Green.” I reply. “Such a naughty girl! I don’t think I’m getting through to you, but don’t fret. I have just the thing to fix that,” Her hand grabs hold of the back of my diaper, tugging it down, exposing my bare bottom to the air. “Are you ready sweetie?” I don’t have time to reply, as the spanking begins anew. FUCK! I can feel THAT! It hurts…but it hurts so good! Leaning into my role, I wriggle my legs, kicking them up and down in faux protest. “Don’t struggle Little One, you’ll only make this worse for yourself.” Good, that’s what I’m hoping. As the onslaught on my skin continues, I begin to feel another sensation build. Not now bladder! Having not gone since last night's incident, the urge is strong. “Mo…Mommy, stop. I need to go potty!” But she doesn’t stop. The spanking continues, and my desperation grows. “You’re not getting out of your punishment that easily. You can hold it until we’re finished. Now no talking, you little brat.” An especially strong swat tells me what I need to know; the spanking will continue, and I shouldn’t ask again. It seems like the spanking will never end at this point, the pace only growing faster, the whacks only growing stronger. I know I won’t be able to hold it much longer, so I don’t. I release the floodgates, trusting the front of my diaper to contain it all. Mommy stops her assault, taking note of the warmth emanating on her lap. “Didn’t I just tell you to hold it? Unbelievable! I guess you’re going to need a few more spanks to learn how to behave.” The combination of the warm pee and the punishment is becoming too much to bear. I can feel myself growing large, my erection poking into her lap. The wiggling from the spanking only adds to the increase in my gratification. I don’t know how much longer I can last. She whispers in my ear once more. “I can feel you getting hard baby. It’s okay, you can do what you need to do.” With the message received, she resumes her work with the paddle. Oh, oh goddess, I’m about to cum. I’m going to cum from being spanked, wearing my soaked diaper. What a naughty girl I am! Mommy brings her arm back, unleashing the hardest spanks so far. She begins to speak, enunciating each word with another smack of the paddle. “This! Is! What! Naughty! Little! Brats! Deserve!” That was all it took. The combination of emotions and sensations has reached its climax, and I release what little control I have. The tip of my penis, now tilted to the top of my diaper from the struggle, begins to shoot load after load onto Mommy’s lap. Time seems to have no meaning, but eventually, I fall limp, resting on her cum covered lap. Mommy begins to rub the small of my back, calming me down from my lust-filled high. “That’s it baby, good job taking your punishment. Such a good girl.” I can feel a cool liquid being applied to my backside, lotion I presume. Her fingers work the soothing balm into my stinging ass, instantly relieving part of the soreness. For a few minutes, I sit there, enjoying the gentle message of the aftercare. I can feel her hands remove from my cheeks and onto my shoulders. “Okay baby, stand up for me, will you?” I follow her command, and I feel the slight sag of the diaper, backside still tugged neatly underneath my butt. We both look down at her dress, noticing the white stains covering the front. “Such a dirty girl Roxie. Look at the mess you made. I think it’s time to move on to the second part of your punishment,” Shit, there’s more? Mommy grabs me by the hand and leads me to the corner, guiding my face towards the wall. “Now stay here until I say otherwise, and don’t even think about rubbing your bottom.” I can hear the door to the nursery open before closing once again. While I’m tempted to disobey, I keep my hands to my side, not daring to soothe my aching butt. The first few minutes pass quickly enough, but as time marches forward, I can feel my patience beginning to wane. Outside of the room, I think I can make out some miscellaneous noises: the sound of shoes across tile, the opening of cabinets, and…the running of the faucet? What could E…Mommy be planning? I don’t have to wait much longer for my answer, as I can hear the door behind me open once more. I can feel her approach, and tempted as I may be to turn around, I keep my nose in the corner. I can hear what I believe to be the sound of the crib’s rails lowering, along with noises I can’t quite discern. The noise quotes, and I hear Mommy begin to speak. “Okay Little One, turn around for me.” I do as I’m told, and I take a look at Mommy, her simple black dress having been replaced with a pink, long-sleeved shirt and mom jeans. She’s leaning hard into the “Contemporary” Mommy look. I can feel a little twitch beneath my diaper, my member not having the energy to resume full-mast, but still excited by the sight before me. “Can you make your way over to me sweetie?” I begin to take a single step, but Mommy holds out her hand. “Not like that, Little One. You’re a baby right now, and babies crawl, don’t they?” Oh, how I love this woman. I get down on all fours and clumsily make my way over to her, my reddened cheeks facing the sky. As I reach my destination, I look up at her, radiant as always, and I can’t help but feel like an actual baby. I watch as she bends over, and am surprised when she scoops me into her arms. “Wow Mommy, I’m surprised you can pick me up.” “Thank you, baby, but it’s really not a challenge. You’ve lost a lot of weight these last couple of years,” She’s right of course, but it still hurts to hear. When we first met, I could’ve been described as somewhat pudgy, and it caused…well there were a lot of issues that came with that. So I worked on myself, not for the expectations of the world, but for me. I started running on the treadmill, switched from regular soda to diet, and opted for fewer calories in my meals. I thought I made pretty good progress, but if Emma could pick me up this easily, perhaps I might want to consider putting some weight back on. “Alright, let’s get you in your crib!” But it’s still light out! I didn’t want the fun to end so quickly. “Mommy, I’m not tired yet.” She gently lays me down on my stomach, and I can feel the crinkle of the plastic sheet beneath the bedding, adorned with cartoonish images of teddy bears and letter blocks. “Don’t fret, it’s not quite bedtime for you yet.” She points up to the headboard of the bed, and I understand what she means. Hanging above me is a silicone bag, a shade of red deeper than my rear end. From the bag, a thin white hose extends feet in length, ending in a long tip. I know what it is from personal experience. I am no stranger to Enemas, having used them for years at this point. After all, it’s a necessary part of anal; being able to clean your insides out. “It’s time for your medicine baby. You have so many yucky toxins in your body that we have to clear out,” She pauses, waiting to see if I have any objection, before picking up the tip. She reaches into her pocket, pulls out a small canister of petroleum jelly, and liberally applies it to the nozzle. “Alright, take a breath for me, darling.” I feel the nozzle slip through my back door, and with a click, warm water begins filling my insides. I breathe in and out, letting the familiar cramps pass by as the lower part of my abdomen begins to bulge out. The water goes from a steady stream, to a light flow, and finally to just a few drops trickling into me. The tip is removed from my anus, and I clench my muscles tight, letting just a single drop escape my body. Letting the hose hang over the rail of the crib, Mommy then takes my diaper in hand, pulling the bottom back into place. I can feel the churning inside my colon, begging for an escape. “Mommy, I hafta go poop. Can I pwease use the potty?” I hope my use of baby talk may persuade her, but it falls on deaf ears. “You’re wearing your potty, silly. But I’ll tell you what. I have to get dinner started, so I’m going to leave you in the crib. If I come back and you haven’t filled your diaper, I’ll consider letting you use the potty.” She raises the side rail, sealing me inside the infantile bed, before walking out towards the kitchen, giving me one last look as the door closes behind her. I can feel the cramps increasing at a breakneck pace. Please cook fast Emma. *** Minutes seem to pass like hours, each moment becoming more agonizing. At this point, my stomach is screaming at me, demanding me to release it from its struggles. I don’t think I can hold out much longer. A thought strikes me; So why hold out? You’re a baby, aren’t you? So why don’t you just let go, and let your diaper handle the mess? My inner monologue makes a great point. Why try to fight it any longer? Sure, I haven’t ever released an enema into a diaper before, but would it be so different than just messing like usual? Mid thought, another cramp in my stomach tells me it's time. Even if Mommy were to come back in right now, I don’t think I’d be able to make my way to the hallway, let alone the toilet, without releasing. I get on my knees, spreading my legs apart, and with a crouch, I push. It takes a moment for anything to happen, but as soon as the liquidy mess makes its way to the entrance, my pushing results in an immediate wave rushing out from within me. The sounds of wet farts echo from the walls as more and more of the mess makes its way into my diaper’s seat. As soon as I thought the worst was over, another wave would make its way out, until finally, nothing remained inside me. I let out a sigh of relief, happy to have the mixture out of my body. I crank my head around, doing the best I can to assess the damage. The back of the diaper, once a solid, pristine white, was now a splotchy mess of different shades of brown. The diaper had done its job, evident by the layer of brownish water making its way toward the top of the absorbent material. I wonder… I get onto my hands and feet, entering into a crab-like position, before lowering my rear onto the bedding. Making contact, I can feel the mess shift around as my body comes to rest, making its way into whatever crevices it can reach. Oh my goddess, this will NOT be the last time I do this. I shift my weight back and forth, grinding the diaper beneath me. I’m a bit worried about leaks, but while the diaper is rather full, it seems to be holding up rather well to the movement. My grinding is interrupted by the creak of the door. In walks Mommy, holding her nose with one hand and waving the air with another. “Well, I guess that means you couldn’t hold it,” she walks over to the crib, lowers the rails, and cups the back of my diaper, checking its used status. “Such a big load you made for Mommy. Good girl.” She gives me a few gentle pats on the rear, careful not to spread the mess too much. “How about I get you changed, and we can eat dinner?” Here I am, grinding away in a lust-filled stupor, and she’s worked diligently to make us food. It’s more than that though. Throughout all of this, all Emma has done is make sure that I’ve been satisfied with our arrangement. I wish I could do something for her. I suckle on my pacifier as I think about this, and the eureka moment hits me. Duh, Roxie. I’ll just do what babies do best; putting things in their mouths. I grab Emma’s hand and pull her into the crib, catching her by surprise. “Wh…what are you doing, baby? We’ve got…” I take a page from her book, placing my finger on her lips. I gently raise the hem of her shirt, exposing her bra. “Oh, I think I get it.” She raises her arms, allowing me to remove the shirt from her body. I reach behind her chest, fumbling with the straps before the sexy garment finally falls free. I take a brief look at her breasts; even now, after all these years, I’m enamored with their size and shape. They put my A-cups to shame. I remove the pacifier from my lips and bring my mouth towards her nipple, letting my warm breath fall across the surface. She shudders in response, and I place my lips over her teat, suckling in that way that I know drives her crazy. “Oh, fu…fuck baby, keep doing that. Keep sucking on Mommy’s tit.” she gasps, and I’m more than happy to oblige her request. I work my tongue into the mix, extracting a moan from her mouth for my efforts. I take my hand and bring it up to her other breast, working my fingers around the area, gently squeezing as I go along. I hear cries of affirmation escaping her throat, so I continue, keeping up the pace. I hear her voice finally come to the surface. “Baby, Mommy…Mommy needs you. She needs to feel your mouth.” Damn, that was quick. I guess she’s more turned on by this than I thought. I’m not one to deny her request though. I remove her nipple from my mouth, a string of saliva bridging the surfaces. I proceed to carry out a series of pecks down her body, leaving a trail of black marks from my lipstick. Upon reaching her abdomen, I put my fingers to work and unbutton her pants, pulling the zipper down to reveal more of her skin. I tenderly slide them down her thighs, revealing her bright pink thong. Holy shit, that’s hot. I bring my lips to her folds, placing kisses along the entrance. “Roxie, please don’t tease me right now! I need this…need you.” The go-ahead was given, and I place my face between her thighs, lapping away at her core. She cries out, rasping at the air, and clenches her thighs around my head. “Oh fuck! Roxie, I’m so close, just a bit more baby.” I delve my tongue deeper inside, allowing the slow and steady strokes to build in pace. Hearing her cooes of pleasure urge me further, and I bring the tips of my fingers over her clit, providing her with simultaneous waves of pleasure. “FUCK! OH GOD, I’M COMING!” Her desperate cries blurting out into the air, I can feel her legs wrapping around my head, pushing me further inside her warm embrace. Her back arched out, I can sense the spasms radiating through her body. Her crevice tightens around me and I can feel my tastebuds being coated in her ejaculate. Her body calms itself, and my head is released from her limbs. I take a hard gasp of air, letting my lungs fill themselves back up. I can feel her cum coated over my lips, which I gladly lick, enjoying the taste. I look down at Emma, skin covered in a radiant glow, beads of sweat trickling from her brow. Still conscious, but reeling from the aftermath, she utters an unintelligible word of gratitude. I lay down across her chest, being spent myself, before giving her a peck on the lips, allowing her a taste of her nectar. “You’re welcome, Amore.” I collapse into her, and feel my eyes close. For this brief moment, let us rest. *** I’m unsure of the passage of time, but I awaken from our post-coital nap to see the setting sun through the window, basking the room in its orange glow. I can feel Emma shifting beneath me, perhaps the source of my awakening. “You have a good nap, Mommy?” My question is returned with a smooch, and I can see the pure elation on her face. “Thank you, Roxie. That…I needed that.” “Anytime my love. Now, I hate to kill the mood, but my diaper REALLY needs to be changed.” The smell has permeated the air at this point, creating a slightly unpleasant odor. “Okay baby, let’s get that taken care of.” She gently guides me off her chest, stretching her limbs out as she exits the crib. Holding out her arms, I make my way into them, wrapping my legs around her waist. I bury my head into her neck, enjoying the moment of being held by Mommy. Ever so gently, she lays me across the plastic top of the changing table. I can feel the mess spread itself all over again, but I decide not to worry about it. Mommy will take care of me. Walking over to the shelves, she grabs a fresh diaper, as well as a small bin, over to the table. Looking inside, I can see a wide array of changing supplies: powder, baby oil, wipes, everything that is surely needed to deal with the nuclear disaster inside my diaper. Ripping off the tapes one at a time, I avert my eyes to the sight within. I don’t want to see that. I feel the front of the diaper come forward, the stench becoming stronger whilst exposed to the air. “Pee-yew. Someone made a big stinky for Mommy, didn’t she?” Her gentle cooes help alleviate my disposition, making me feel 10 times better about the mess. Taking a wet wipe in hand, she holds it between her palms for a moment, allowing her body heat to warm it up. Lifting my legs upwards with her spare hand, she places the wipe between my cheeks, and I can feel her removing as much of the mess as she can. Throwing the used wipe into the diaper, she grabs a second one, repeating the process. After going through about a dozen wipes, she slides the diaper out from underneath my raised body, setting my legs down with care. She proceeds to wrap up the used garment, taking care to not spill any of the mess within. Tying the sides into a cute little know, I watch her grab a diaper disposal bag from the bin and place the soiled diaper inside. She then ties the bag shut and tosses the bag underneath the changing table. I hear a thunk of plastic on plastic, realizing that the old trash can still be underneath the desk. She really thought of everything. Picking up the new diaper, Mommy folds it open and gives me a light tap on the thigh. I raise my hips, allowing her to slide the change underneath me. “Look at you, being such a good girl right now. If only you could behave like this all the time.” I roll my eyes at the teasing remark and allow her to begin powdering my privates. She works her fingers around, spreading the substance evenly around my skin. She grabs a single wet wipe from the pack and uses it to clean the remnants of the powder from her fingers before tossing it in the trash. “Alright sweetie, last step! Do you want to help Mommy with the tapes?” With a blush, I nod my head, instantly slipping into my little headspace. She brings the front into place, allowing me the honor of doing the tape job. Now tightly secured to my waist, Mommy grabs my hand and helps me off of the changing table. “Now let’s get you into some more… age-appropriate clothes, shall we?” Hand in hand, she walks me over to the closet. Flicking the switch, I take notice of the changes made to the inside. What used to be a space for the storage of clothes, most never to be worn again, has been emptied out. The racks look bare, with only a couple of outfits adorning the hangers. Upon closer inspection, I realize that it wasn’t just “a couple of outfits”, but MY little clothes hanging up. “I know it looks a bit barren right now, but I’m sure we can fill it out with all sorts of new clothes for my beautiful baby,” The sound of obtaining new clothes perks me up, removing that last bit of sluggishness from the nap. “Now pick out what you want to wear, unless you want to just wear a diaper.” Just…a diaper? No, no more impure thoughts brain! I glance over my options, knowing them well, and decide to go with a classic. I pull the black skull onesie from the hanger. After all, it’s now my favorite piece. Remembering that moment just days ago brings a small tear to my eye. I was first accepted while wearing this onesie, and now, it shall remain in my heart as a cherished item. “Good choice love, now let’s get that yucky grown-up shirt off of you.” Taking the shirt from my hands, we begin to walk out of the closet. I can see the significance of my choice is lost on her, but it doesn’t matter. Guiding me back into the main room of the nursery, she places the onesie down for a moment, raising my arms up into place. I feel the cotton slip off over my head, and the chill of the evening covering my nude form. “Don’t worry, you’ll be nice and toasty soon.” I watch her open the snaps of the onesie, the satisfying pops ringing out. That sound never gets old to me. She begins working my arms through the holes, before finally sliding it down over my head. With a tug, the material evens itself out, and Mommy gets to work snapping the clothing back up, encompassing my fresh change in the black-dyed cloth. She takes my hand once more, and guides me to the mirror on the nursery door, allowing me to gaze upon myself. I look so…pretty. Except for my hair. It was admittedly a mess right now, sticking up in several different directions. I see her take notice as well. “Now that won’t do. How about I fix your hair up real quick?” *** Reminder to self: next time you eat her out, wear a damn hair tie! An agonizing 20 minutes of detangling, brushing, and conditioning later, my hair is back to its usual self. I guess you could call this a ‘fun’ bonding experience. Every time the brush made contact with a know, I’d yelp out in pain, resulting in about a thousand ‘Sorry’s from Emma. “Okay baby, that was rough, but we made it through relatively unscathed! How about we finally eat dinner? I don’t know about you, but I’m starved.” My stomach growls in response. Yeah, I guess I really haven’t eaten today. “Sure, I could eat right now.” We exit the bathroom, my body waddling behind Mommy as we make our way to the kitchen. I watch as she pulls out a chair, beckoning me to sit. Taking my seat, she pushes the chair into the table for me. I’m getting the royal treatment today! “Alright sweetie, I’ll be back in just a moment with the food. Sit tight!” I watch her disappear through the walkway that separates the small dining section from the rest of the kitchen. I wonder what’s for dinner? Maybe she made her Chicken Cacciatore, oh or maybe some Spaghetti Bolognese! I can’t wait to dig in! Mere moments later, I see Emma return empty-handed, her face flushed. “So…bad news. I thought I left the stove on low, but apparently, I turned it off, so the Bolognese is ruined,” NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! CURSE YOU, CRUEL WORLD! “But here’s the good news! We needed to go and grab your car for tomorrow anyway, so why don’t we go out to eat? We can make it a date night!” “Um, sure Em, but what about my outfit?” I was just starting to get used to wearing my onesie around her, but I guess I’ll have to get changed. “First, that’s Mommy to you, and second, just throw a pair of jeans and a jacket on. With other clothes, it will just look like a normal T-shirt, so what’s the use in changing? She makes a good point. I guess, to the average onlooker, it would appear to be nothing more than a shirt with a cartoon skull on the front, and I guess it would help cover up my diaper while out. “Okay Mommy, let me throw some stuff on, and we’ll go.” *** I looked myself over in the mirror once more, wanting to make sure my outfit was sufficiently covered. Wearing a diaper underneath my usual clothes was one thing, but leaving the house in a diaper and onesie has me a tad paranoid. The black jeans, simple in design, do well to conform to my current fit, and the black leather jacket, a size up from my standard wear, does a fantastic job covering my rear. I can’t even tell what I’m wearing underneath. Applying a fresh coat of black lipstick, I’m satisfied with the look of my “adult” self. I grab my purse from the counter and make my way to the front door. Emma is already there waiting for me, opting to keep her outfit from earlier on. “Alright, all set sweetie?” “Yes Mommy, now let’s go, I’m absolutely famished.” “Big words for such a little girl. Okay, let’s go.” She opens up the door, stepping into the cool air of the autumn evening, her hair swaying slightly in the breeze. She smiles at me, and I take a step out the door to follow her. I don’t know what the future has in store for us, but I do know one thing; I’ll have my Mommy every step of the way. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hello Everyone, I hope you enjoyed Chapter 7 of Embracing Oneself I had a lot of fun writing this one, and I hope you had just as much fun reading it. I just wanted to give a quick heads up about the next 2 chapters. The chapter following this one will be the first of the "side chapters", which will focus on how Roxie and Emma first met. It may be a tough read for some, but I believe that reading it will give a lot of insight into the character's pasts and motivations. Chapter 8, however, will go back to the main story, and will essentially be the end of "Act 1." Now, just because the current "Act" is ending does not mean the story is coming to an end, or that the chapters will slow down with their release. Instead, think of it like the ending of a the first season of a show. The story for that season comes to a close, plot points are closed out, some new ones emerge to tease viewers, and the "arc" for the season wraps up. Starting with Chapter 9, there will be a slight time jump, nothing to crazy, but it's there. Along with the time skip, Chapter 9 will be setting the stage for the true introduction of Alex and Jessica. I outlined those two along with Roxie and Emma when I initially started drafting the story, and all 4 of them are equally important to the story. I hope you look forward to these plans. I promise to work as quickly as I can, so you can learn about the second half of our protagonists. Now, if you'll excuse me, my diaper has sprung a leak, so I bid you adiue! Thank you for reading.

Don't worry, you're totally on track so far. Emma is definitely a complicated character. A personal pet peeve of mine is when caregiver's are shown as flawless, or that they are "picture perfect." I will be getting more into Emma and her "complications" in further chapters, and chapter 10 (as well as one of the "side chapters") will be dealing with them head on. I can see the text being a bit off putting to someone from a different culture. A lot of my character dialogue and exposition is routed in American Colloquialism (everyday speech), so I do apologize if there's any trouble following along with the story. This might sound strange, but I'm actually glad for the bit of weirdness. From my own experiences, having this type of discussion, as well dealing with all the new emotions that come with exploring kink, is inherently "weird". I know so many stories that tend to glance over this issue, and just jump to the fun kinky stuff, and I'm not knocking those stories. I just wanted to do something a bit different. Yeah the contract is definitely a meta choice, but I'm hoping it didn't come off too "creepy". Emma is a very factual and detailed oriented person, and with her background in BDSM, it would make sense for her to use the traditional "BDSM contract" for the situation. I mayyyy be foreshadowing with the contract, just a bit 😉. Thank you for all the comments and criticism, I appreciate it more than I can put into words. Feel free to Message me on here if you have any questions about the terminology used, or if you want to understand anything specific in the story. 😁

Chapter 6: Terms & Conditions June 4th, 2023. 10:44am What am I going to do with that girl? Going out for a couple drinks was one thing, but to get drunk to the point of puking her guts out was another. Along with the stench of cheap booze, I could smell that she’d been smoking throughout the day. I know Roxie’s trying her hardest to quit, but she knows how much I hate those awful things. She didn’t even text me that she was coming back so late. Not to mention she ended up taking an Uber home, meaning she had to have left her car overnight in the parking lot. She took an Uber, drunk and alone. Does she know how dangerous that could’ve been? What if the driver wasn’t an upstanding citizen? What if he…he could have hurt her! And she would’ve been powerless to stop him. For someone so smart, she did something incredibly stupid. I know I shouldn’t be too hard on her, but I can’t help feeling a tad disappointed. After all the work me and Alex did getting the Nursery all setup, I’d at least hoped I could show off all of our hard work, but instead, I ended up worrying about whether she’d even be able to make it back home. I think back to the evening prior, ruminating on the advice Alex had given me before taking off. *** I watched as Alex slid the rails up into place before wiping the sweat from his brow. The crib truly was a work of art. The white posts of the frame made for a great compliment to the baby-pink walls, which have long since dried. “There we go! That oughta do it! I’ve got to say, I think Roxie is going to be happy with the beaut.” “I agree, and it’s all thanks to you. You’ve outdone yourself with this one. Your craftsmanship is truly second to none.” He smiles at me, happy to have his hard work recognized. I look over the rest of the Nursery. While a tad unfurnished, it will more than do for now. On the wall next to the door, adjacent to the crib, the old wood desk has been given new life. Now with a fresh coat of paint, it matches the theme of the rest of the room. On top of the surface, a white, plastic mat has been placed, fitting perfectly over the old writing space, turning it into a beautiful changing table. On the leftmost wall, the shelves have been cleared of the old knickknacks and replaced with rows of diapers, some changing supplies, and the couple of outfits from Roxie’s trunk. I’ve got to thank him again for the extra packs, and the plastic pad was an awesome bonus. In the corner of the room, a small wooden chair sits as the final piece of furniture. “It may come in handy for reading bedtime stories,” I had reasoned. Aside from that, the room mostly lay empty for now, at least until my orders arrive. The only other item, my duffel bag of goodies, is tucked safely in the closet. “Thanks again for your help Alex, I couldn’t have done it without you. Are you sure I can’t pay you?” “Em, I’m insulted you’d even ask! Just think of this one as a free sample. If you’re satisfied, let me make some other pieces for you in the future, and we’ll call it even.” Alex, we’ll never be even after today. We begin making our way back to the living room, exhausted, but our work complete. “Do you want to stay a little bit longer? You can always hang out for a bit if you want.” “Sorry, but I’ve got to get back to Jessica. I promised her I’d watch this “Owl Place” show or something, and I’ve still gotta make us dinner.” The job of a CG never ends. “I’m sure she and Roxie would get along swimmingly. I got sucked into watching She-Ra with her yesterday, and she actually turned me into a fan, if you could believe it.” “We should get them together for a playdate sometime. After the two of you have had some time to settle into your roles of course.” I walk Alex over to the door. As he begins to step out into the world, he stops for a moment, turning to me like he wants to say something of importance. “Emma, can I give you two pieces of advice.?” I notice the seriousness in his voice, catching me off guard from his deviation from his usually upbeat manner of speech. `“Go ahead, I’m all ears.” He takes a second. My best guess is, he’s trying to figure out how to get his point across. “First, I just want to let you know, from my own experience, don’t wait too long to set the boundaries of your positions. I know everything is fresh and exciting right now, but you’re going to have to sit down with her at some point and figure out exactly how far you both are willing to go. Is this a fun thing to do on the weekends, or does she want a more TPE-like relationship? Does she like want to be punished? What are her hard limits? I know you know her better than anybody, but you’ve still got to talk about this with her, and the sooner the better.” He’s completely right. I should have discussed all of this with her before we even began playing with each other. I guess I just got caught up in being able to be a Mommy again, but even so, I’ve failed to practice perhaps the most important value of any BDSM relationship: Communication. I’ll fix that before we play next. “Okay, noted. What’s your second piece of advice?” “You don’t have to do this right away, but you should consider telling Roxie about your relationship with me and Jess. She may be fine with knowing, or she may be a bit off-put, but I know one thing for sure; If she finds out that you hid this from her, she’ll be hurt much more than if you just told her the truth.” I feel like I’m sinking to the bottom of the ocean, the weight of expectation is almost crushing. I had always imagined that I would take that part of me to the grave. Never did I imagine I would have to tell her about my Polyamorus past, or the fact that I ended it so I could take care of her. How would she even take it? I mean, it’s not like she’s a close-minded person, far from it. I can still hear her quoting her favorite phrase in my mind. “Love is Love, no matter the form.” Yet, this is a different matter altogether. I can’t know how she’s going to take it, but I do know that Alex is correct. I do have to tell her at some point. “Okay Alex, I’ll…I’ll talk to her, I promise.” He reassures me with a smile. “Alright with that note, I’m off. Oh, one last thing,” Oh no, what is he going to tell me now? I don’t think my heart can take more stress. “You and I both know that a good chunk of Littles are open to the idea of multiple play partners. So on the off chance that she is of the open persuasion, know that Jessica and I are both open to the idea of a Quad. No pressure though, just think of it as an open offer. If you two decide it’s not for you, that’s understandable, and we’re totally fine with remaining friends. Alright Em, see ya later!” He closes the door before I can even begin to think of a response to that. DAMN YOU ALEX! I can’t even begin to process this right now. Returning to Poly? After all this time? Is that even really an option? Okay Emma, think about this later. You’ve got a job to do. You’ve got to talk to Roxie. I plant myself on the couch, resolving myself to talk with her tonight, so we might be able to spend all of tomorrow enjoying our defined roles; that of Mommy and Little. *** Yeah, too bad she came back wasted. There was no chance at any sort of meaningful conversation, due to her state. I had just barely managed to get her changed and to wash her mouth before she was passed out in bed. I bet she’s gonna have a hell of a hangover. Alex was right though, I have to set our terms, and it has to be today. *** I am NEVER drinking again. I can feel the consequences of my overconsumption as I open my eyes, a throbbing in my skull making me wish I never even thought of having a drink. I roll over on my side and look at the nightstand. On it sits a note, a glass of water, and 3 Tylenol. Picking up the piece of paper, I recognize Emma’s handwriting. “Here, you’re going to need these. Come out once the headache subsides, we need to talk about a couple things. I love you.” Curious about the message, but eager to relieve the pain, I quickly pop the pills into my mouth, washing it down with the room-temperature water. I wonder what she wants to talk about. I didn’t do anything to upset her last night…right? All I remember is getting out of the Uber, then…fuck. I didn’t actually do that, right? I pull back the covers, looking down at my naked form. Emma must have removed my clothes before helping me to bed. I look down at my waist, the plain white diaper evidence of the change being reality. I remember everything now, and I pull the covers over my head, trying to hide my shame from the world. *** As much as I wish to the contrary, nobody can hide from the world forever. As soon as I feel the pain reside, I carefully get to my feet, quickly throwing a simple black v-neck and jeans on before exiting the room. I walk down the hallway into the kitchen, the bright morning light making my eyes dilate. I can see Emma sitting at the table, typing away on her laptop. I sit down, the noise of pulling the chair out finally gaining her attention. “So, you had a hell of a night, didn’t you?” I feel a deep-seated sense of shame. I should’ve known better than to drink that much, and Emma shouldn't have had to be the one to deal with the aftermath. Taking care of a drunk person was already a hard task, but having to take care of a drunk girl that’s leaking out of her diaper? It wasn’t right. I wish I could take it all back, but all I can do for now is apologize “Em, I’m so sorry you had to deal with me last night, I promise I…” I’m cut off by her holding up her hand, pausing me in my tracks. “Roxie, I never have to ‘deal’ with you, so get those thoughts out of your head. While I wasn’t exactly thrilled to have to clean up after your little accident, it honestly wasn’t that big of a deal. I’m glad you and Beth got to have some fun, and I’m not going to shame you for having a few too many drinks. The only thing that bothers me is that you didn’t think to text me to pick you up. You put yourself into a risky situation by taking that ride,” She’s right of course. In my drunken stupor, I would have been powerless to do anything if the worst came to pass. You really fucked up Rox. I feel disgusted by myself and my actions, like the things that could’ve happened are stuck to my skin. I silently wait for her to continue talking. “So next time, please text me if you’re not getting a ride back from someone you know. I’d much rather have to drive at night than to…to see you hurt.” I’m such an idiot. I bury my head into my arms on the table, letting the tears fall silently onto the mahogany. I look up at Emma, not knowing how I could even face her right now, but I have to try. “You’re completely right Em, it was stupid and dangerous. I guess I just got caught up in the night to even think about it. I’m so sorry.” She places her hand on mine, squeezing it gently as I let out my last few tears. “Apology accepted my love. Just…maybe learn to pace yourself a bit better. Having fun is one thing, but drinking till you’re sick isn’t healthy. Just a bit of moderation goes a long way.” I give her a small nod. After last night, I don’t think I’ll be drinking for a long time, but I promise myself to take it easy if the future changes. Emma glances at her laptop for a second returning her attention to me. “Now, since that’s out of the way, there’s something we need to talk about. We need to talk about our ‘playtime’, and our roles within.” What does she mean by ‘talk about our roles’? Haven’t we already labeled ourselves as ‘Little’ and ‘Mommy’? I sit up in my seat, wanting to pay full attention to what she means. “I’m a little confused Em, but go on. What do you mean by ‘our roles’ exactly?” “Well, just as there are countless types of people in the world, there are also countless ways for us to explore Ageplay, each with their own quirks. For example, one Little may enjoy just acting like an infant, wearing diapers, and sucking on a pacifier. However, another Little may prefer pull-ups, or maybe doesn’t wear protection at all. The goal of this talk is to discuss the specifics, so that the next time we engage in play, we can both rest assured that the actions taken are Safe, Sane, and Consensual. I’ve got my notepad open, and I’m going to take notes, just to get our thoughts on paper. Is that alright with you?” I finally understand what Emma was getting at, and I’m surprised by the lengths she’s willing to go to set our boundaries. I guess the businesswoman inside her took over. “Alright Emma, I understand. Ask me anything.” I look into her eyes, letting the determination in mine show my commitment. “Let’s start with the basics then. For now, I’ll just hear your thoughts on the categories. Don’t worry, I’ll circle back around at the end for my input if needed. How about we start with Diapers? How do you feel about them?” Here I was, worried for nothing. This is going to be a cakewalk. “I’m pretty sure you know how I feel about them at this point, but I’ll follow along. I like wearing them, and I enjoy using them for both types of accidents.” “And how do you feel once you’ve gone in them? Do you immediately want a change, want to stay in them for long periods, or something in between?” I spoke too soon. I ponder over her question. How DO I feel about my dirty diapers? I decided to answer truthfully. “I..I like staying in my diaper, even after I’ve used it. To me, that’s what the diaper is there for. I love being changed though, so it’s kind of a balancing act between staying soggy and messy, or being changed into a fresh one.” “I figured as much, but thank you for being so open,” Emma types away at the keyboard, the speed of which impresses me. “Alright, on to the next item, clothing choices.” *** We continue down her list of discussion topics, covering my preferences in baby clothes, speech privileges while little, content that’s appropriate for little space, even the small things such as which foods are off limits while playing. “Alright, the tedious topics are out of the way. Now we get to talk about something more fun. Do you know what ‘bratting’ is Roxie?” I shake my head, unfamiliar with the term. “Bratting refers to a submissive, referred to in reference as ‘Brats’, who, in the most basic sense, enjoys being punished for being naughty. Brats can enjoy it in many different ways. They could enjoy punishment for the thrill, they could be turned on by it, they could just enjoy the cathartic release, or the pleasure can come from a mix of any of these traits and more. How do you feel about it now that you’ve learned a bit more?” “I…I…I think that sounds like me a bit. The thought of being punished while diapered has crossed my mind more than a few times, each instance making me…excited. I do enjoy just having some time to be the typical little, but another part of me may be a ‘brat’, as you put it.” “I see,” Emma replies. “And what kinds of punishments do you wish to experience, and what’s off the table?” “Well, I like…the idea of being spanked. In all honesty, I’ve…pleasured myself a few times while imagining myself over your lap. You calling me a bad girl, turning my butt red…really gets me going.” I can almost see the fireworks going off in Emma’s head, trying her best to keep the corners of her lips from shooting upwards. Her blush is beautiful to see, especially considering my current emotional vulnerability. “Aside from being spanked, are there any other types of punishment you know about, or would be interested in trying? Take your time and think it over.” That’s a good question. How far down the rabbit hole do I wish to go? How much punishment do I wish to endure? The thought delights me in a way I can’t quite describe. If I had to put it into words, I would compare it to being at the top of a roller coaster. As the ride reaches closer and closer to the peak, your heart fills with a range of emotions: excitement and fear, anticipation and terror, joy and panic. And when I think about Emma punishing me, it doesn’t matter what scenario runs through my mind. I feel the same rush as the drop on the ride. “In all honesty, it doesn’t matter what type of punishment I’m to get, I think I’ll enjoy it just the same. I don’t exactly have any specifics that come to mind besides stuff like time-outs, but from what you told me the other night, you’re aware of some more…intense forms. I want to experience both. The hard ones and the soft. As long as I don’t get cut or the skin breaks, you can do whatever ideas you come up with. I trust you.” If I thought my last comment affected her, my latest statement caused a chain reaction. As hard as she tries, she can’t quite manage to wipe the massive grin from her face. “I’ve gotta say Rox, I wasn’t expecting you to be a glutton for punishment, but it’s not an unwelcome twist. In regards to how far is too far, you don’t have to worry about that. If you ever feel uncomfortable, or that you want to stop a scene, or even if you just want to pause for a moment, you can always use a safeword.” “Um, not to sound dumb, but what’s a safeword?” I had never heard the word before, but even though I could attempt to guess the meaning myself, right now was the time for questions and answers, so I might as well ask. “There are no dumb questions here sweetie. A safeword is a term in BDSM that refers to a phrase or action that acts as a ‘stop button,’ so to speak. Like I said before, if you ever want to stop a scene, for any reason, all you have to do is use the safeword,” As Emma explained further, I’m glad I was on the right track with my preconception. “Now, if you don’t have a word in mind at the moment, we can just use the ‘Green, Yellow, Red’ system.” “Like a traffic light? So Green means go, Yellow means caution, and Red means stop. Am I getting that right?” Emma reaches over and gives me a pat on the head. “Yes that’s right, good job, sweetie,” I feel a bit patronized by the coddling, but at the same time, it gives me butterflies to be regarded in such a way. “So how about we stick to the colors for now, and if we think of a different safeword later we can replace it.” “Okay Em, I’ll trust your judgment on that one.” After all, I didn’t even know what a safeword was a moment ago, so I might as well leave the choice of wording to the pro. “So what’s next?” “So we’re nearing the end of my list here, but this might be the most important part of our discussion; the extent to which we incorporate all of this into our lives. I’m going to ask you a question, and I want your honest answer. How much of your sense of self is tied into being Little?” My…sense of self? How do I even tackle that one? I always knew I was different, and not in the “Oh I’m so smart and clever and better than everyone” way. If I think back, even to my earliest moments, it was there. Before I found my identity, before I embraced my goth lifestyle, my little self was there…no that’s not quite right. I, the real me, was there, buried beneath the expectations of those around me. And while the pressures of conformity had done their best to bury her, she could never truly die. The real me survived, and now, she has the chance to break free. I breathe in deeply, getting ready to reveal her to my other half. “Emma, I am a Little, not just as a kink, or a thing to do for relaxation, but at my core that’s who I am. There are facets of me that are bigger, that handle the rest of the world, but at my center, it all combines into me; Roxie, the goth, the girl, the little.” Emma moves the laptop to the side, taking both of my hands in her own. Her smooth skin makes contact with mine, and I can feel her warmth, physically and emotionally. “I’m so proud of you for admitting that to me, baby. I want you to know, that no matter who you are, and what part of yourself you show me, I love all of it. The good and the bad, the sweetheart and the anarchist. I love you, no matter what,” We just sit there, hand in hand, feeling how much closer we’ve become as of late. I see her, and for the first time, I feel like somebody sees me. Not the front I put up, not the pieces, but just me. “The reason I asked is because, depending on how you answered, there were many different ways for us to approach this. Some littles only engage in play occasionally, some only do so during the evenings to wind down, and those like you, littles who feel little all the time, can take a couple of different routes as well.” “So…what ‘route’ do you think is right for me?” “That depends on how you feel about my next question. Would you like to be a baby full-time?” Did she just say full-time? Like, being Little all the time? How would that even work? Isn’t that just a plot point in smutty ABDL fiction? Dreams are one thing, but this is reality. “Emma…what do you mean by full-time? You can’t be serious, right?” In fact, I’ve never seen a more serious look on her face. She’s dead serious. “I mean you’ll be a baby full-time. When you’re home, you’ll be diapered, dressed in baby clothes, and live out your life as a little. I’ll be your mommy; dressing you, changing you, and taking care of you the way you deserve.” Shocked doesn’t begin to describe what I’m feeling. “But what about work, and going out, and seeing my friends? I don’t think the world at large is ready to accept a 6-foot goth wearing a diaper and onesie,” Which sucks, because the look is such a vibe. “Besides, I’m also your girlfriend. Wouldn’t that…I dunno…change, if you saw me as only a baby?” “None of that will change. You can still go out, hang out with people, and do your thing. Of course I wouldn’t have you going out in public in such obvious attire. Think back to yesterday. You went out wearing a diaper, right? But it was hidden, concealed from the world. And even though nobody could tell, you were still wearing it, correct? To the rest of the world, you were Roxie, but to me and yourself, you were Little,” Okay, so far she’s making a ton of sense. I went out yesterday and had an amazing time, and nobody knew about my choice of underwear. “When it comes to us, let me ask, did you wearing diapers stop you from orgasming the other day? Let me tell you, out of all the times we’ve made love, I’ve never seen you have such a powerful climax. We can still have a meaningful relationship with this dynamic, it will just be a bit different than the norm. Different doesn’t mean less though, in fact, think of it as an evolution. We can explore more, learn more, and have a relationship stronger than ever,” I see her hesitate, preparing herself to continue. “As for your job, well that’s up to you. You can keep going to work, just another cog in the machine, doing the busy work day after. But I know how you feel about that place. You hate going into the office, and each day, I see you die a little bit inside. You work your ass off, all for a headache, and pay slightly above minimum wage. So…if you want, you don’t have to go back. You know I make enough to cover the both of us, so why not live your life in a way that will make you happy? You don’t have to decide right now, but know that you do have that choice.” …could I do that? I don’t mean literally. It would be so easy to look Tom in the face and tell him to fuck off for eternity. But could I do that to myself? Just leave everything behind? Before I met Emma, all I knew was how to survive. Go to work, feel a piece of my soul chip off, and go home to try and find it again. Make just enough money to now be out on the street. Sure, I hate my job, but it’s how I’ve lived for so long. What would my life be like without it? And what about Beth? How could I just leave her there? I don’t think she’d be able to survive in that Hellhole alone. I couldn’t just leave her. But what about you? Why don’t you take care of yourself for once? Wouldn’t it be nice? Should I make myself miserable just to help my friend, to stick to the only life I’ve ever had, no matter how much it kills me inside? I don’t think I can give her an answer right now. “I’ll…consider that, Em.” And indeed I shall. “So, what else is on the agenda?” “That was the last thing we had to go over. There’s just the matter of finalizing it,” Emma types for a few moments before making a series of clicks, and the printer on the counter behind her comes to life. The noisy machine does its job, the smell of warm paper and toner reaching over to my nostrils. A single sheet of paper pops out into the tray, which Emma takes in hand. She gives it a once over before handing it to me. “Read this over, and with your agreement, we can truly get started with our new life. *** I, Roxie Accardi, with sound mind and open heart, hereby surrender myself to Emma Wilson. This agreement is between the two consenting parties, and may be altered and/or abolished at any given time, by either given party. By signing this document, I hereby acknowledge to abide by the terms and conditions herein. I understand that I cannot legally revoke my personal freedoms and legal rights, and that I may withdraw my consent, in part or in whole, at any moment. I agree, that until such a declaration is made, I wish to be bound to this agreement, and wish to be treated as such. The terms “Little/Baby” and “Mommy/Caregiver” shall be used throughout this agreement, referring to “Roxie Accardi” and “Emma Wilson” respectively. The prefix “I” shall be used in reference to "Roxie Accardi". 1. I consent to wearing diapers at all times. I hereby revoke my right to wear underwear and allow my caretaker to ensure I am diapered at all times, in private and in public. For this purpose, they may take any actions deemed necessary. This includes, but is not limited to, the following: a. The removal of all “Grown-Up Underwear” from my wardrobe b. Performing a “Diaper Check”, to ensure that I am diapered, as well as to be aware of the current state of said diaper (“Wet”, “Messy”, “Leaking”, etc) c. Prevention of Diaper Removal, which may include articles of clothing meant to restrict access to my person (plastic pants, locking mittens, locking onesies, etc) d. Exceptions to this rule may be allowed at the caregiver’s discretion. e. Violation of the above may result in punishment (refer to section 5) 2. I consent to the restriction of my bodily functions. This includes the following: a. The restriction of my right to use the bathroom. The “Potty” is hereby restricted. Bodily functions will be performed in my diapers. Exceptions may be made at the caregiver’s discretion b. The restriction of my bodily movement. This may be done by a variety of methods: “Tummy Time”, Bondage (rope, cuffs, bondage restraints, etc), locking mittens, locking booties, etc. c. Violation of the above may result in punishment (refer to section 5). 3. I consent to acting in my role as a “Little.” This may involve a variety of actions, which includes, but is not limited to, the following: a. Using a pacifier b. Consuming Food and Beverage from infantile dishware and utensils (baby bottles, sippy cups, plastic plates, sporks, etc) c. Restriction of language. I will do my best to use “Baby Talk” when engaged in play. The use of profanity, while engaged in play, is expressly forbidden. d. Consuming Media traditionally produced for those under the age of 18 (Baby Shows, Cartoons, Learning Books, Coloring Books, Nursery Rhymes, Family-Oriented Video Games, etc). The consumption of media deemed “Inappropriate” is hereby restricted (“Violent” Video Games, Movies Rated “R”, TV Programs Rated “M”, content with a parental advisory, etc). Exceptions may be made at the caregiver’s discretion. e. Implementation of “Bedtime.” I agree to follow my caregiver’s commands, in regards to the time of day in which I will be “in bed”. Once “in bed”, I will not attempt to circumvent the command, including, but not limited to, the following methods: Using Electronics past bedtime (Phone, Laptop, Gaming Systems, etc.), getting out of bed, making a large amount of noise past “Bedtime”, etc f. Implementation of “Feeding Time”. I agree to consume whatever sustenance presented to me during “Feeding Time” g. I consent to having medication administered to me by my caregiver (estrogen, spironolactone, digestive aid, pain & fever relief, etc). I will allow the medication to be administered via the method of my caregiver’s choosing. h. I consent to the restriction of my sexual organs and sexual stimulation. I agree to not receive sexual gratification/stimulation by my own hand. In order to accomplish this, many methods may be used. This may include, but is not limited to, the following methods: Chastity, Locking Mittens, Plastic Pants, etc. i. Violation of the terms above may result in punishment (refer to section 5) 4. I consent to the deprivation of my right to privacy, in relation to my caregiver. This may include, but is not limited to, the following a. Supervision of my person at all times, when applicable b. The use of “Baby Monitors”, or similar devices, when the circumstances arise c. Checking the “state” of my diaper, at any time (section 1.b) d. Access to my body, in part or in whole, at any time e. The use of tracking software to determine my geographical location, at any time f. Violation of the terms above may result in punishment (refer to section 5) 5. I consent to being “punished” for any violations above, as well as for reasons not listed above. a. Punishments may involve various methods, in single-use or conjunction. These methods include, but are not limited to, the following: i. The use of “Spanking”. This act involves the striking of a body part (in most cases the buttocks) with a bare hand or the use of a tool. These “Tools” may include the following: Paddles, Hair Brushes, Riding Crops, Leather Belts, etc ii. The use of Enemas. This act involved the taking, retention, and expulsion of a liquid, through the anus and into the digestive tract (anal cavity, colon). The “Enema” may consist of various liquids, in single-use or conjunction (water, soap, coffee, etc). The “Enema” must be retained for a predetermined amount of time, determined by the caregiver. Failure to retain the enema may result in additional punishment/s iii. The use of “Time Out”. “Time Out” may involve a variety of positions (Corner Time, Chair Time Out, Kneeling, “Bedtime” Time Out, etc) and will be performed for a predetermined amount of time, or until the caregiver says otherwise. The “Little” is prohibited from removing themselves from the determined position before the completion of the allotted time, or until they receive “the okay” from the caregiver. Failure to complete the terms of “Time Out” may result in additional punishment/s iv. The use of “Chastity Punishment”. This involves the use of a “Chastity Cage” to restrict Sexual Gratification. The “Chastity Cage” will be applied to my person and locked into place. Only the caregiver may remove the device once locked in place. Failure to abide by these terms may result in additional punishment/s 6. I consent to abide by the following Miscellaneous terms. a. In private, I will refer to my caregiver as “Mommy” or “Mama”, and my caregiver will refer to me as “Baby”, “Sweetheart”, “Little One”, “Little Girl”, and “Darling.” Additional “nicknames” may be used upon the caregiver’s approval. b. In public, I will refer to my caregiver as “Ma’am” or “Emma” (use of Emma is dependant on caregiver approval), and my caregiver will refer to me as “Babe”, “Sweetie” or “Roxie”. c. I will always be honest with “Mommy”. I agree to answer honestly to any and all questions asked of me. d. I will abide by the commands of “Mommy”. e. I will use the “safeword” at any and all time/s when I feel the need to. I will not continue with a “scene” that I do not consent to. I will not be afraid to use my “safeword” when I feel the need to do so. I will not attempt to “tough it out” if I am uncomfortable with the scene being performed. (section 7) f. Failure to abide by (section 6, a-b) may result in punishment. Failure to abide by (section 6, c) will result in the immediate termination of this “contract”, and the cessation of any and all “play”. No “play” will be performed afterward under any circumstances, until the creation of a new contract 7. I will abide by the use of the “safeword”, if and when it’s used by either party a. The ‘safeword” in use will be the “Green, Yellow, Red” system, if and until the establishment of a new/additional safeword. The uses for the “safeword” is as follows: i. Green: “Green” will be used as a signal to continue with play/continue with a specific action during play. I will use Green to signal my continued consent to the actions taking place. ii. Yellow: “Yellow” will be used as a “warning” or “caution” signal. Upon the use of “Yellow”, both parties will communicate with each other, and decide on a course of action (slowing down, stoping a specific action, etc) iii. Red:: “Red” will be used when one of the parties involved wishes to immediately stop with a scene. Upon the use of “Red”, any type of “play” is to immediately cease. “Play” may not resume until both parties have discussed why the use of “Red” occurred. Play may either end for the moment or resume after a brief “cooldown” period. Under no circumstances should play resume immediately after the use of “Red”. Limits: 1. None of the agreements above may be interpreted in any way that would allow either party to cause the following: a. Activities that are/may be considered Illegal or Indecent. This applies to all types of “play”, in public and private. b. Activities that would reveal the nature of the relationship (kinks, fetishes, terms of contract) to any member of the public, as well as any individual that has/may have a personal or professional relationship with the parties, unless both parties have given expressive consent. c. Activities that would result in severe. serious and/or long-term injury or harm. d. Violation of the above terms may result in the termination of this “contract.” Upon termination, no “play” may be performed under any circumstances, until the establishment of a new “contract.” Annex: Caregiver’s Declaration. The use of “I”, from this point in the contract until specified otherwise, shall refer to Emma Wilson. Upon signing this contract, I agree to the following: 1. I declare that I fully understand the terms and conditions of this “contract”, as well as the responsibilities that come with the role of “Caregiver”. 2. I declare that I will always act in the best interest of my “Little” 3. I declare that I will, to the best of my availability, do everything in my power to ensure that my “Little” is cared for, as listed in the “contract”, as well as any other needs that are not covered by the “contract”. 4. I vow to always heed the use of the agreed upon “safeword” (section 7), and to use said safeword myself if the need arises. 5. I vow to abide by all limits and restrictions, both listed in this contract, as well as discussed afterward with my “Little”. 6. I vow to provide the adequate “aftercare” that is/will be required after a scene. Upon signing this document, both parties agree to the terms and conditions listed above, aware that consent can be withdrawn at any point. Until consent is expressly withdrawn, both parties agree to follow this “contract” as described, to the best of their ability. This “contract” shall remain in perpetuity until one or both parties expressly withdraw their consent. *** I read over the document carefully, taking my time to make sure I understood everything listed. I hear the click of a pen, and Emma places the writing instrument in front of me. “Roxie, if you sign here, I’ll do everything I can to make sure your dreams are a reality. If you decide later on that we should change some of the things listed, we can do that with no problem. And if you decide that you want to do this full-time, I will support you 100 percent. But for now, these are the rules for us to follow, and all you have to do is sign. The choice is up to you.” The life I always wanted is but a pen stroke away. My heart feels like it’s about to escape from my chest, like a chest-burster from Alien trying to tear its way out from the inside. Is this really okay? Am I allowed to have this joy in my life? For once, the choice is truly in my hands…and I choose this! With a shaky hand, I put the tip of the pen on the dotted line, signing myself away to Mommy’s care. I put the pen back down on the table, and watch as Emma snatches it up, quickly scribbling her signature on the other line. “Well then, this is the start of our brand new life baby.” I watch her get up from her chair, taking my chin in hand. She brings her lips to mine, sealing our deal with a kiss. I gaze into her eyes, my own blurring with the happiest tears to ever grace my body. “Thank you, Mommy, for all of it. I can’t wait t…” I’m cut off by her placing my pacifier in my lips. I wonder where she was keeping that, waiting for this moment. “No more talk for now Little One. Take my hand. I have a surprise for you!” She takes me by the hand and guides me down the hallway, stopping in front of the door to the guest room. Where this all began. I wait with bated breath as I watch her push the door open. Inside, I can see what amounts to the quintessential fantasy for any Little; a nursery. She guides me inside, closing the door behind us, and I take in the sight before me. I take a look at the massive white crib, marveling at the quality of the build. On the wall to the side, I see the old shelves have been given new life, painted to match the crib. The shelves are absolutely stocked with diapers and changing supplies. I turn around, and that disgusting old desk has been turned into a changing table, complete with a changing pad on top. I turn to Em…I mean Mommy, and begin to speak behind my paci. “What is all this? How did you…” She places a finger on the guard of the paci, silencing me at once. “Now baby, didn’t I say no talking. I got this all set-up yesterday while you were out. The changing table was pretty easy, and as for the crib…let’s just say I have an…old friend who makes custom furniture. So, what do you think? Do you like it?” I was wrong. THESE are the happiest tears I’ve ever felt. I wrap my arms around her neck, overjoyed at the surprise. “I’m glad you like it, Sweetheart, because this is all yours,” I can’t believe that this is all for me! Mommy carefully removes my arms from her body. “Now, we have to take care of something don’t we?” We do? I watch as she heads to the corner, pulling the wooden chair to the center of the room, and sitting down. “We need to get your first punishment underway! Now lie over my lap sweetie; it’s time for a spanking.”

Quick Update Hello, I just wanted to give you all a quick update on the next chapter. The work on chapter 6 is coming along nicely, and I should be finished with it shortly. I'm taking my time with writing this one, as it may just be the most important chapter so far. As of right now, the word count for chapter 6 is already over 5 thousand words, and I'm still not finished. As you can imagine, it took a fair amount of time to write this one, but I'm nearing the end of it, so I ask only that you remain patient for just a bit longer. With my current pace, it should be up and ready at some point today, so please stay tuned. Thank you in advance, and I hope you're looking forward to chapter 6.

Alright, it's finally time for chapter 5. This one was actually a ton of fun to write, and I hope you all get a kick out of it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 5: Duels and Debacles (CW: Harassment, Drinking) June 3rd, 2023. 10:33am I pull into the open parking spot, thanking the gods that one so close to the entrance was available. The vehicle makes a rumble as it comes to a stop. I turn off the engine, having to yank the key out of the ignition. My old 2001 Honda Civic, lovingly named Susie, has served me well over the years. She still gets me to where I need to go, but her age has begun to show. It takes her longer to start, and longer to stop. Still, though, the reliable girl keeps cranking on. I reach into the glove compartment, pulling out my hidden pack of cigarettes. I should be quitting. But the nicotine is too good. Placing the filter between my lips, a flick of my zippo is all it takes for the tobacco to ignite. A lengthy drag fills my tungs with the poison, releasing that sweet dopamine to my brain. I exhale, a toxic cloud beginning to fill the interior of the car. I sigh in equal parts of satisfaction and disappointment. Addiction is a funny thing. Most people think that addicts, in any form, must have a lack of self-control, or just enjoy their vices too much to stop. That could very well be the case for some, but things aren’t always so black and white. I hate the fact that I smoke. I think it’s awful. I wish, more than anything, that I could quit, but time and time again I find myself with another cig in my mouth. The need becomes too strong without one. Maybe one day I can finally break this cycle. Maybe I’ll look into getting one of those vape things to help me quit. But for now, I smoke and feel the release. Speaking of release. I let my bladder flow into my diaper, swelling up a fair amount. You’d think that I would be scared to death by heading out into public while wearing. I know a massive fear of many littles is the idea of being spotted in public, but I’ve never cared about the opinions of those I’ll never meet again. Besides, anyone who looks at me will already make their own preconceptions of my gothic attire. As much as it pisses me off, the stereotype of the “Goth Domme” gives me a sense of camouflage. Horny bastards will just assume I’m some type of Dominatrix. Those conformist pricks would never guess I’m wearing something so far away from their fetishistic ideals. I step out of the car door, feeling the warm summer breeze against my skin, flowing through the mesh around my semi-exposed skin. I take one more puff before tossing the death stick on the ground, extinguishing the embers and ash beneath my boots. I strut towards the entrance of the mall, feeling the weight between my legs, the telltale crinkle inaudible to those who aren’t paying attention. As it turns out, nobody is listening to the sounds coming from your person. Everyone else is caught up only in what’s on the surface, not even sparing a passing thought to what lies beyond. I walk through the automatic doors into the dimly lit entrance. The Velvet Square Mall has seen better days. Once a bustling source of revenue, it now stands in its grave, awaiting the final coup de grâce. I pass what used to be a Bed Bath & Beyond, now a shuttered reminder of the past. Making my way to the food court, I look over the measly options before deciding that coffee will suffice. I walk straight up to the counter and am met with my barista. “Hey there beautiful, what can I get for you?” Goddess, not another flirt. I look him over, gaining a sense of what kind of douche I’m dealing with. Everything about how he presents himself just screams “I don’t care, but I want YOU to care.” He’s the type of guy who expects you to fawn over his high-top fade and forget about his wrinkled t-shirt and bad breath. The stench of cheap cologne, the kind you get in the clearance section of the pharmacy, has been overapplied, most likely in an attempt to cover up the fact that he hasn’t showered in days. The stench is truly appalling. His name tag has “TYLER” in what resembles chicken scratch. Even his nametag is half-assed. “Just a Mocha Iced Latte, please.” I try to give him the least amount of dialogue possible, not wanting to waste more time with his poor attempts at flirting. He doesn’t seem to get the memo though. “I figured a hot little goth like you would like her coffee black, you know, with all that darkness…and stuff.” Fucking Christ, he’s the dense type, isn’t he? “Just the latte, and hurry it up I’m running late.” I know I have plenty of time to spare, but he doesn’t. No matter how much of a fuckboy he is, everyone who works in customer service dreads the thought of a customer bitching them out to the manager. I don’t usually like to fuck with a service worker, knowing that pain myself, but for “Tyler” I’ll make an exception. I watch him hurry his ass to the espresso machine, not wanting to risk the dreaded “write-up” that these types of corporate joints love dispensing. I pretend to check my phone, not wanting to give him a chance to jump back in. He comes back to the counter a few moments later, drink in hand. “Here you are ma’am, got that latte for you.” I can see that fake ass grin of his has returned. “How much do I owe you?” Tyler looks me up and down, that twinkle in his eye telling me exactly what form of payment he wishes he could ask for. “For you baby, no charge. This one is on the house. Here’s your receipt. Hope you come again.” He winks at me, and I can feel myself wanting to throw up. I snatch the receipt from his hand and begin storming off. To add insult to injury, this dick even wrote his number on it. “call me sometime beautiful!” I turn around and catch him staring at me, and I take great pleasure in watching that grin fall as I tear the receipt in half, leaving the pieces on the ground for him to sweep up. *** I smell the scent of incense as I walk into one of my favorite places in this cruel world; The Rythem Oasis. I sip my mocha-filled refreshment as I look around the shop. Two shelves run down the middle of the record store, containing more music than I could listen to in multiple lifetimes, let alone this one. The dreamcatchers hanging from the ceiling always manage to tap into the spiritual side of me. The blue lighting doesn’t hurt either. You could almost reach out and grab the energy in the place. By the front of the store, the counter is adorned with crystals and charms galore. Behind it, a familiar face welcomes me inside. “Roxie, you’ve got impeccable timing,” Soma is a sight for sore eyes. It’s nice to see a friendly face today. Their hair, dyed with seemingly every color under the sun, looks impeccable in the soft tones of the store’s lighting. The way it seems to take on these unique tones leaves me with a sense of awe every time I see it. Their outfit stands in stark contrast, consisting of a black long-sleeve shirt and matching jeans. The only other sense of color in their ensemble belongs to their nails, adorned by the shades of the non-binary flag. “You asked me to hold on to anything I thought you might like, and I’ve got just the thing.” Soma reaches down behind the counter, pulling up a small item covered in a thin black cloth. Always one for a dramatic reveal. My suspense is building, wondering what could be worth such a grand display. They remove the covering, and my eyes cannot handle the sheer beauty revealed. “Tinderbox on Cassette?!? No way! That’s so sick!” They bring their head back and laugh, their hair swaying at the moment. “Look closer Rox. What do you see?” Am I missing something? I flip the box over and check out the cover art. It’s definitely Tinderbox, and I can tell that it’s an original release, not a reproduction. And then I spot it. “SHE SIGNED IT? Holy shit Soma, this is a treasure!” I grab their hands, giving my best puppy dog eyes. “I neeeeeeed it!” Soma pulls away, checking the polish on their hands. “Easy girl, you’re going to ruin my nails,” They give me a cheeky grin. “So I willing to guess that you’re interested?” “Soma, I would literally give you my soul for that cassette,” My soul is cheap though, and a precious relic like that is probably going to cost me. “How much is this gonna run me?” “Well, it is a collectible, and signed by the lead singer no less,” Oh great, they’re going for the hard sell. “So how does 5 dollars sound?” Damn, I knew it…wait, did they say 5 bucks? I look at Soma, waiting for the punchline to this cruel joke. “Come on, for real, what's the cost?” “5 bucks. I just got a shipment of assorted tapes, and this one came inside. I guess the seller didn’t know what they had, or maybe they figured there wasn’t a market for signed cassettes. Either way, even marking up the cost I spent, I could sell each cassette for 5 bucks and still make money.” “But you know how much that’s worth to the right circles Soma. Why not make the full value off of it?” It doesn’t make any sense to me. I once saw Soma sell a used Smashmouth CD to a customer for 20 bucks, which I think was criminal. They should’ve paid the customer to remove that garbage from the shop. “Oh trust me, if I was selling to anyone else I could get an arm and a leg, but there’s been a lack of fresh faces lately, and besides being my friend, you’re also a regular. Plus, I do owe you for getting my Blue Eyes White Dragon deck up to snuff, so how about we just call it even?” Oh Soma, I could hug you right now. “Alright, I won’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Here.” I pull a crisp Lincoln out of my purse and hand it to my savior. “Speaking of, you plan on stopping by Wizards & Monsters later? I’m going to look for some Metal Reflect Slimes, and I could use a victim to test my deck on.” “You do know that you’re never going to make Exodia by stalling like that, right?” They really know how to rain on my parade. “Ever since Pot of Greed was banned, Exodia has been unviable.” “It’s not the success of the match that matters to me Soma, it’s that thrill of achievement, and when I finally find that perfect combo it’s going to be game over! So are you coming?” Soma shakes his head. “I wish I could, but my part-timer quit yesterday, and until I can find a replacement, I’ve got to be at the store.” “Damn, that’s a bummer. I hope you find someone soon. It’s not the same without you losing to my Dark Magician Girl Dragon Knight.” “Oh, in your dreams bitch.” I laugh at the banter. Soma knows they might just be the single person who can call me that. Others have tried of course, but they’ve only ever gotten through half the word before my palm shuts them up. “Don’t worry, I’ve got a couple of interviews lined up, so I’ll be back to kicking your ass in no time!” I wave goodbye as I walk out of the “oasis”, clenching my prize with joy. I’m sure I’ll be popping the tape into my deck and running out the fragile spools, but that’s not what's important. Nothing lasts forever. It’s what you do with things that give them meaning. *** I gulp down the rest of my coffee before throwing the cup in the bin. By now, I had almost forgotten about my special underwear, but the growing urge within me quickly reminds me of its presence. Should I just let go? It’s not like anybody will know. I know I’ve already wet once, and while these diapers have a solid capacity, it isn’t limitless, and I’m currently without a change. I decide to hold it and continue to my destination. Wizards & Monsters has become something of a haven for the local nerd community. While it’s not the biggest store around, the quality of the products far outweighs the dip in quantity. As soon as I walk inside, the bright lighting inside makes my eyes water, having to adjust from the dimness of the rest of the mall. Right in front of the door is the checkout desk, doubling as registration for any local events. A glass case surrounds the cash registers on all 4 sides, playing host to traded-in cards from the most popular games. On the top side of the glass, cases of booster packs stand out, inviting you to try your luck at getting that new card you wanted, or maybe just to possibly give your deck a little extra oomph. A bulletin board in front of the desk gives customers a chance to learn about the different services offered. They tend to cater to a rather large variety of gamers and geeks, from hosting fighting game tournaments to local TCG matches. To the right of the desk, you can see rows of tables set up for the public to use most nights, only benign reserved for scheduled events. A few CRT TVs sit off to the side, in scaling states of condition. To the left of the desk, you can find a few bookshelves, stocked with a range of comics, manga, tabletop games, and even a small collection of light novels. I walk straight up to the glass cases, trying to find any cards I can add to my current project deck. I browse the cards available, spotting a couple of cards I could potentially incorporate, as well as as well as the Metal Slimes I was looking for. In fact, I wonder if…yes they do! I spot a pair of Egyptian God Slimes. While not the strongest monsters in Yu-Gi-Oh, their effect can make for pretty good stalling, and Mound of the Bound Creator can help keep them alive for longer, as well as making my opponent take a life point penalty for destroying them. “Excuse me, can I get these cards here please?” I ask the clerk, a rather lanky guy I’ve seen around here once or twice, but still don’t know the name of. I read his tag. Dave! Dang girl, you need to start remembering shit better. “Of course miss, which cards are you interested in?” I point to my choices and he carefully removes them from the case. He places them in front of me to inspect, wanting to make sure I’m happy with the quality. I look over the cards, which look nearly impeccable. “These work for you?” “Yes, thank you, Dave. Oh and real quick, do you have any Exodia Incarnates in stock?” He thinks for a moment. You don’t see too many Incarnates out in the wild despite its relatively low price, so I don’t get my hopes up. “Actually, I think we just took a couple of those in. I don’t believe we put them in the system yet, but I can go to the backroom and check if you don’t mind waiting.” Today is the greatest day ever! “Take your time Dave, I don’t mind waiting.” He gives me a polite smile before making his way to the back. While waiting, I take a glance around the store, noticing a surprising lack of customers, even for this mall. In fact, I might just be the only person in the store right now. I pull out my phone to pass the time until Dave’s return. *** I begin tapping my leg, not from impatience, but from my growing desperation. The need for my bladder to release is getting exponentially larger by each passing minute. What in the hell is Dave doing back there? Is he making the damn card? I continue scrolling through my socials, trying my hardest to not focus on the need to pee. I finally find something to distract me, a review of classic JRPGs, and get absorbed into the witty banter of the online personality. I’m jolted away from my distraction though as I feel a hand on my shoulder. I quickly turn to my side, my body going into autopilot from the unannounced contact. I’m even more shocked by just who was touching me. I feel my diaper becoming soaked, the shock having destroyed my focus on the hold, as I look at the last person I’d expect to be in a card shop. Beth’s curly red hair is done in a ponytail, rather than the long, styled look I’d see at the office, and the sight of a sundress makes for a completely different look. I’m not used to seeing her outside of a button-up shirt and work pants, so the casual attire takes me a second to get used to. “Roxie? Omg Hi!” she wraps me in a hug, clearly not expecting to see me here. She looks down at the glass case, my new cards still on display. “I didn’t know you were into Yu-Gi-Oh! That’s so awesome!” “Damn Beth, you almost gave me a heart attack,” I let out a sigh, glad to not be dealing with some creep touching me. “What are you doing here?” She reaches into her white purse and pulls out an old deck protector, adorned with light scratches across the surface. “I came here looking to see if any events were going on. It’s been a while since I’ve played, and I had a hankering to relive my glory days.” Out of all the explanations I was expecting, Beth being a TCG player wasn’t even in the top 20. Could I see her maybe grabbing some comics? Yeah, they’re kind of mainstream at the moment. Hell, I would’ve even guessed she was picking up Manga before her playing Yu-Gi-Oh. I guess it goes to show, you can’t always make assumptions about a person. “Wow, no kidding? How long has it been since you’ve played?” “Well…you could say it’s been a while.” She opens the deck up and spreads the cards out on the countertop. Wow, it HAS been a while. Her deck is a classic, but heavily outdated Gravekeeper deck. You can tell the deck has been well loved, the plastic beginning to peel from the card sleeves. She’s probably had this deck since she was in school. “So, what do you think? Still up to snuff?” I can see she’s proud of her creation, and I hate that I’m going to have to be the one to break the bad news. Thankfully, Dave finally returns, my prized Exodia cards in hand. “Sorry for the wait, I had to put them into the inventory list. Is there anything else I can help you with?” I get a fantastic idea. Sometimes, failure is the best teacher. I turn to Beth, a devilish grin on my face. “Wanna play a few rounds?” “Sure, why not! I’ve got to warn you though, I’m not going to go easy on you just cause we’re friends.” Oh Beth, you poor, innocent soul. “Alright, let's do it! I just have to do one thing first.” I grab my phone off the counter and open up my camera app. “What’re you doing?” “I’m sending a pic to Emma. She’s not going to believe this one. Now lean in close!” *** “I move to Attack Phase and Attack using my 2 Egyptian God Slimes. Resolve?” I know I have her in checkmate. “Awe man, that’s the third round in a row! GGs Roxie, I guess I need to start constructing a new deck.” she looks down at her cards, disappointed by their failure to perform. “Don’t feel too bad Beth, you did surprisingly well, especially with such an old deck.” I’m a little disappointed myself though. Even after the addition of my new purchases, I still only had 3 pieces of Exodia in my hand. Someday Exodia, I will draw all 5 of your cards, and victory will be mine!!! “You wanna go again?” Beth declines my offer for a rematch. “Sorry, but I don’t think my self-esteem can handle another loss right now,” She packs up her deck, much happier than I’ve ever seen her at work. “Don’t worry, I’ll get my run back once I catch up to the meta.” Oof, that’s a Sisyphean task. While collecting my cards, I realize that I can finally talk to her about work the other day. “By the way, I wanted to apologize about Friday. I shouldn’t have been so pissed about the Excel doc, but Tom’s been breathing down my back about the workflow. It’s not your fault though, and I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.” “No worries Roxie, seriously I get it,” I’m relieved that she’s not holding a grudge. “Tom can be such an Asshole. Like, he complains all the time about my quota, but I didn’t even sign on to do data!” she continues ranting about our manager. “I think he’s just insecure about the fact that he got passed up the promotion.” “Either that, or he’s got a small dick and compensates by shitting on his employees.” that gets a laugh out of her. “Damn Roxie, way to go for the throat! Hey, I’ve got a couple hours of free time left. Wanna grab a drink?” Wait, she actually wants to get drinks with me? Hell yes! Wait, play it cool, and don’t spazz out. “Sure, why not! There’s a neat little bar at the end of the mall. But you buy the first round. Call it my victory fee.” *** June 4th, 2023. 12:14am I hop out of the Uber, trying to get my balance on the spinning ground. “Thank you mister Uber Man! Sorry for throwing up on your window, I..I’ll tip you a million bucks!” I can hear him vaguely mutter something under his breath before I close the door. I stumble my way up the steps and to the door, fumbling my key into the lock. “Come on mister key, you don’t want me to sleep on the lawn right?” After a few minutes of attempting to get the key in the door, I finally achieved success. “YES! Thank you mister key! I’m gonna…I’ll tip you a million too!” I walk into the dark living room before attempting to kick off my boots. After much struggle, I manage to get one free, but it slips through my hands, crashing into the wall. “QUIET BOOTS! We don’t wanna wake up Emmas!” I lift my other leg up, trying with all my might to remove the other shoe. In my daze, I fall back and land on my rear, the sodden diaper making a massive squelch in the process. “Lol, oops!” I begin laughing at my own state, too drunk to care about the wetness dripping slightly into the carpet. I’m flashbanged as the light turns on, blinding me for a moment before my vision returns. I fucking hate the light, stupid asshole. I rub my eyes and clear my vision, and I can see Emma approaching me, wearing only her robe. “Oh hey Em, sorry was I being too loud. I told the boots to be quiet!” I can see her standing there, arms crossed, looking unamused. “Roxie, do you have ANY idea what time it is?” she points to the clock, which I can just barely manage to decipher. 12:19? Damn, how I hate time. “Sorry Emma, but Beth invited me out for drinks! She’s soooooo cool!!! She’s a big ol’ nerd, but she’s so cool! She’s got two boyfriends! That’s so cool! And she called me her friend, even after…even after I was mean to her at work. It’s all Tom’s fault with his tiny dick! Did I tell you how cool she is!” Emma looks me up and down, taking in my intoxicated state. “Okay missy, you’re drunk, yelling, and leaking on my carpet. Let’s get you to bed alright?” “Okay mommy, I just…I gotta get up here,” she takes my hand and guides me to my feet, a hard task with my single shoe remaining. She begins guiding me to the bedroom before I feel the result of 7 Vodka sodas coming back up. “Em, I gotta…Imma puke.” “Oh shit! Just hold on a sec, I’ll get you to the toilet.” she makes a sharp turn, not helping my current situation, and quickly opens the bathroom door. I trip over my own feet, but manage to retain my footing long enough to make it to the porcelain throne. What can only be described as a wave of bile and booze makes its way into the bowl. I can feel Emma holding onto my hair, attempting to keep it vomit free. “I…I think that’s the last of…nope.” The second wave comes out, but it seems like my stomach is finally free of the vile combination. “Okay, now that’s the last of it! That’s the last time I try to keep up with Beth.” I rest my head on the lip of the bowl for a moment, trying to satiate the nausea. I can feel a bit of my senses returning to me, alerting me of my need to pee. I’m on the toilet, so I’ll just go. Mommy will be so proud of me! What I failed to realize is that my face is laying on the bowl, not my lap. I can feel the warmth leak from my diaper, trickling down my legs and forming a puddle between my knees. “Dammit Rox! Now I’ve got to clean that up!” Oh no, Mommy’s mad at me. Did I do something bad? I feel the tears quickly build up, and before I know it, I’m bawling my eyes out. “I..I’M SORRY MOMMY!!! I WAS TRYING TO USE THE POTTY!” I can feel the streams falling from my eyes. I’m such a mess. Emma crouches down, careful to avoid the puddle of urine on the tile, and begins to comfort me. “I’m sorry baby don’t cry, I’m not mad at you. I was just stressed. Ssshhh. Ssshhh.” I allow her to comfort me for a moment more. I finally feel her let go, and I already miss her embrace. “God Em, you look so sexy right now! I love you so much.” I begin leaning towards her for a kiss, but I feel her gently push me back. “I love you too Roxie, but you’ve got vomit on your lip. Let’s get you changed and ready for bed.”