Girlfriends Pregnant

[shadows]

well i got a hell of a surprise last night... my girlfriend said she was pregnant... from her ex *sigh* i just dont know what to do ya i want to stay with her and will it wasnt her choice and this happened before i met her. im not worried about the fact of raising a child that isnt mine. i just really wanted us to have a couple years together alone before we even tried for this. i cant ask her to get a abortion or some thing either she was told she could never have children so i just cant ask that of her it means so much to her. i want to so bad though cause if you think about it if she could this time obviously she can again but i just cant ask her to i just dont know what to do.

[ajc2000]

If I was in your shoes I don't know what I would do. All I can say is what does your hart tell you? Do you think she is the one? or is it still to early to tell as sounds like you not been seeing each other that long. At the end of the day only you can say if you can love her with or without someone else's baby. If you don't think you can it is best to be upfront and honest about it with her.

Hope someone else better at writing this stuff down understands me and can do a better jod of getting it across.

[shadows]

If I was in your shoes I don't know what I would do. All I can say is what does your hart tell you? Do you think she is the one? or is it still to early to tell as sounds like you not been seeing each other that long. At the end of the day only you can say if you can love her with or without someone else's baby. If you don't think you can it is best to be upfront and honest about it with her.

Hope someone else better at writing this stuff down understands me and can do a better jod of getting it across.

i understand you lol and that has never even crossed my mind i know i want to stay with her and know i can still love her and will raise the kid just like it was my own if she decides to go through with it. the hardest decision for me is whether i should even bring up the other option i want her to think about it i dont want to ask her to do it and wont i just want her to think about it and find out if she can have another child if she doesnt have this one cause if not i want her to have it but just i dont want her to doubt me and think that i its something im not willing to do even though i say i am.

[diapermommie]

She is going to be aware of the other options that exist, and if she's already told you she's going to keep the baby, suggesting otherwise will most likely do nothing but alienate her. Ideally she should listen to your concerns and your point of view, but she may not exactly be her normal rational self right now. You need to be honest with her about your concerns, but I wouldn't do it in a "I think you should think about abortion (or adoption, or whatever)." It needs to be more of a concern from your exact point of view. That your not sure your relationship is ready for this, so early. Go at it from a perspective of the relationship as a whole and not her being pregnant. She's going to do what she wants to do, period. If you are sure you can support her in that, then great. But be honest with yourself above all else.

I had my son (who is now almost 11) when I was 21. It's a hell of a long road when you're that young. Things are fine now, but it as much as I love both my kids, it doesn't mean I don't still wish I had done things differently.

[shadows]

thanks for the replies i actually went and wrote the email im just debating on sending it i guess ill post it and you guys can tell me if you think its ok. so here it is:

i dont really want to say all this cause i dont want you to doubt what ive told you but i just feel with this i should really say everything on my mind and let you know. i just want to put the idea out there if you want to talk about it ok if you already have your mind made up thats fine like i said i will never ask this of you, but i seriously think it should be thought about. not cause i dont want this just i really dont think this is a good time for this for either of us and i really dont think either of us are ready. anyways i guess thats enough of that and its time to get to the point which is the thought of considering not having it. i have a feeling you already know that no matter what you are and if so like i said i will support anything you do i love you and i want to be with you and help you through it. im not saying you should think about it alone or just with me like go find out stuff see what the doctors say ask them if you dont will i be able to get pregnant again? if theres any possible way we will do it there is so much they can do these days as long as your body is able to have one and if they say no then i want you to know i will be 100% for keeping it. you want a child and i want you to have one i dont care if its by me or not i love you and want you to be happy. just right now your gonna be a full time manager how is that and this gonna work i just think it would be so much better for us if there was a way we can wait but not have to make a decision like this. give our selfs a couple years both get good jobs have our own place and be settled down, but like i said it is up to you. if you decide on this you will have plenty of support here. once again im sorry and hope your not mad and i pretty sure you wont but i talked to my mom and she is ok with all this and if you decide to have it she deffinetly will be here to help when we need her. i know that my whole family will be behind us and they will support us and be ok with all of this. so what ever you decide i will do if its what you want and will make you happy. im not asking you to do this i just want to make sure you think things through. im not saying this for me im saying it for you im just a little afraid you will be mad at me for it but i know you know its important. the bottom line is i want you to be happy and i want us to be together and no matter what ill be here for you. in ways im happy about this im SOOOO happy that you can at least be pregnant this once and that we can possible have children and also think im happy im gonna be a father even if it isnt mine but i just dont know what to think its not the way i imagined things would go in my life but things dont always go the way you plan them and i understand that. i just want to make sure you know i am willing to do this, i can do this, and i will do this if it is what you want i love you with all my heart and i couldnt imagine a life with out you. i just want to make sure everything is thought through and there are no regrets latter. for me as long as you thought it through and know its what you want i will not regret supporting it. anyways ive rambled on enough i love you and i hope you dont have any doubts about me or mad that i brought it up just PLEASE dont doubt my willingness to do this im so afraid that sending this might hurt things between us and i dont want that. i love you angel

[DollyDiaper]

I agree with ajc and diapermommie, with the addition of the biological father, your girlfriend's ex-partner, in this situation.

Obviously I have no way of knowing where or if he fits into the picture at this stage, as you don't say, but I believe he has a responsibility to his unborn child, if the decision is made to continue with her pregancy

i wish you well, whatever the future holds.

Dolly

.

[shadows]

I agree with ajc and diapermommie, with the addition of the biological father, your girlfriend's ex-partner, in this situation.

Obviously I have no way of knowing where or if he fits into the picture at this stage, as you don't say, but I believe he has a responsibility to his unborn child, if the decision is made to continue with her pregancy

i wish you well, whatever the future holds.

Dolly

.

i dont believe they talk anymore but i have no idea what is up with him never even knew his name and i dont know if she has told him yet

[shadows]

well that was a HUGE mistake she is really mad at me now *sigh* i havent talked since we kinda faught earlier i dont think we really fought she just told me how she couldnt believe i even mentioned that and what not *sigh* my mom called her and she said she was just really upset then and she isnt as mad and she knows i love her and that we arent breaking up and she would talk to me later tonight but its almost 3am now and she still hasnt come on im hoping she has just fallen asleep cause she was to tired like she has done so many times before and doesnt just still hate me i dont want to lose her