My life is spiraling out of control

[kitsy101]

I feel like the past few months have shown me that I'm heading towards doom. A bit of context: I have been trying to join the Air Force hoping that I could get into a position whether I would have to worry about if I'll have enough to pay off my student loans and even gain some skills. A bit of more contrxt: I'm 37 years of age and when I was 19 I tried to join the army. I made it about 4 week until I decided I wanted out and they discharged me stating I had 'anxiety. I was young and stupid. Fast-forward to today as I'm filling out my app I contact a recruiter through the website on whether I had to disclose my previous service. They informed me no since I did not complete boot camp. So I leave it out. That was a mistake. I had went through MEPS which is like the physical and I passed that. But than they did an interview with me a few weeks later and brought up my previous try in the army and why I didn't mention that. I told them what the internet recruiter told me. It's not looking good for me. The recruiter hasn't gotten back to me yet so I'm going to assume the worse.

I was depending on this and now I am hopelessly screwed because I don't have a degree and I'm aged. I had a shipping date that I was banking on so I quit my job. It was turning pretty hostile when I left. So now I don't have anything and I'm severely depressed. I don't sleep enough I barely eat and I haven't left my apartment in 4 days. I have a few places get ahold of in regards to jobs. But I mean to what end?

I thought about just ending myself multiple time because it's a two step forward three steps back situation. My biggest fear is I'm going to end up in something where I can't get out. Like being homeless. If I can't hardly support myself now how will I be able to do it when I'm freezing on the street with no money? I keep reaching out for help. I mean I'm not asking for money just help getting me out of this funk. Nobody responds and just ignores me. It doesn't help my outlook. At all

On a bright note. I recently got an offer to become a FT truck driver where they'll pay to train me and drive for them. It sounds very good.

[Rachael-Little]

Wish you well, but truck driving is honorable profession 

[aLittle]

Truck driving is a solid job. Don't give up, just keep pushing forward you'll get through this.

[babyalan]

Truck Driving is Honorable and hard but an opportunity to stay I  diapers 24/7 too 

[feralfreak]

in a way, trucking IS service to your country, it dont come with a military pension or rank, but NO LESS VITAL. this nation would grind to a halt without truckers on the road, delivering goods of all kinds ex:food, like what we buy from the stores and brought to local food banks, feeding people who cant afford food, fuel, lumber to build and repair homes, electronics we use not just for entertainment but also communication with loved ones, including those enlisted overseas, giving peace of mind to those who are on tour that the homefires are still burning, to the families who know that their loved ones are safe and alive, medical equipment and instruments used in surgeries and catheterizations, such as what will be used to operate on my mom, mail and packages nationwide, some of moms meds come in the mail.

by driving a truck, you serve your country, the people in it, and soldiers abroad.