I feel so lonely (especially with lack of IRL support for being an ABDL)

[CrispyCookiePup]

I originally posted this on ADISC just a couple hours ago.

As a straight person, you'd think I would feel normal and safe for being under the norms of society over not being a sexual minority. However, I've proven that to be wrong, solely because of my diaper fetish. Over the past couple of months, I keep seeing news reports of several Target stores and other corporations being threatened by homophobes for being "woke", all because they don't put up with their backward views. However, what I've noticed is that it's generally accepted for these people to get scolded for trying to hurt LGBTQ people for existing. Especially when it comes to straight LGBTQ allies.

Compared to ABDLs however, we don't get as much support from those people whenever bigots say that we're disgusting individuals and/or pedophiles. It's really difficult for me to know why society still has these views when we have existed for many years, though not as much as the LGBTQ community when it comes to historical records. Yet, people only claim we don't deserve that much support because we're viewed as part of a fetish. Words can't describe how my ABDLism has affected me personally, at least since I started puberty. So I feel heartbroken to say we're the kind of people that others usually see on DeviantArt and cringe at us. Some of whom expressed to us that we should be cured or get obliterated.

The one thing that I worry about every day is if I'll get arrested for being an ABDL/babyfur, since there are people out there who think I'm a pedo/zoophile. Especially with how I like art from ABDL/babyfur artists that involve fictional characters wearing diapers. I just want to clarify that my fantasies involving this only dwells on wanting to be a baby again. I worry that the popular opinion would convince them that I'm less of a human being, solely because I like diapers. Whenever I talk about these certain things with other people, whether it be other ABDL communities or therapists, they often tell me that I shouldn't think about these people and that I take way too much credit for strangers on the Internet. The key problem to this notion is that I don't have IRL friends that I can rely for support with being an ABDL/babyfur. So if this comes out in real life with my real name, my life will be ruined.

Another problem with this situation is that I can't make friends without thinking they'll scowl at me for being an ABDL. So it's just difficult for me to go outside and hang out with people when I'm this weirdo who likes diapers. Especially when I've told a group before that I like diapers and I couldn't help but be reminded that they weren't very tolerant of me when I mentioned it. Me being banned from the group just reminds me that I probably won't get the chance of being liked without hiding it, which is difficult for me aside from just playing cool with talking to people on the Internet. It doesn't help that I'm like this because I didn't get any support from either my therapists or my friends. One incident happened where I talked to a random person on Skype when I was 15, where he asked me if I'm a sexual deviant or pedophile and recorded my voice onto a video where it stayed on YouTube for 2 years before getting deleted.

What I want from all of this is more personal support, especially as I would be devastated when my mom dies. I don't know if I'll be grateful with moving anywhere else, if people are just going to be bigoted against my ABDLism regardless of political beliefs. It doesn't help that I live in an area of NYC (Staten Island) where people are noticeably conservative, though not as backward as states like Texas or Florida. If I could just get that, then maybe I would be more okay with being anywhere in the world without being confined in my home. I just hate seeing this stuff as taboo that we can't talk about in our personal lives, even though this form of hiding isn't benefiting me.

[minachan16]

The world is full of all kinds. Nobody owes you friendship or acceptance and vice-versa.

Sign up to Fetlife if you want ABDL friends to hang out with. If you live in the NYC area, there's tons of ABDLs within commuting distance. You can probably find some munches if you want to make friends IRL with other people.

[Elfy]

It takes some balls to post something like this on the first day of Pride Month...

Look, you're young so I can forgive some ignorance but in certain states of the USA trans people are having their healthcare taken away, trans kids are being threatened with being kidnapped by the state, hate crimes are rising against LGBT people, trans people are being used as a political football and wake up every day knowig they could have rights stripped away at the whims of others. LGBT books are being removed from classrooms and libraries, teachers face being fired for stating certain facts... Internationally the UK is a hive of transphobia that is getting stronger every day, Uganda just passed a bill with the most draconian penalties for homosexuality. Life for LGBT people is steadily getting harder and harder as they are bombarded with bad news, bigoted opinion pieces and legislative battles that can mean life and death.

You. Cannot. Compare. That. To. ABDL.

I'm sorry but it is a bugbear of mine. Imagnie if someone with a foot fetish lamented how many people made fun of it and compared it to LGBT struggles, we'd find it laughable. Whether ABDL is a sexual thing or not it isn't something vanilla people need to know about nor want to know about.

The way you are talking in that post it sounds like you are far too open about something that you do behind closed doors. Friends will probably judge you if you tell them about your fetish/kink/whatever because it's not something most friends want to know. You ca make friends quite easily, heck, you can wear diapers whilst doing so... You don't need to broadcast your choice of underwear. Should you feel shame about being ABDL? No. That doesn't mean it is something that needs to be shared with people you meet.

I really can't state enough the false equivalence you are hinting at in your post. Literally no one will accuse you of being a paedophile or zoophile if you are the smallest bit sensible. Sure, people online will either ignorantly or maliciously attack ABDLs but guess what... That's been happening since the internet started and yet the community is bigger than ever before.

I can tell you that it doesn't matter where you live. There will be nowhere you move to where people will react better to you telling them you wear diapers for fun. This isn't a left vs. right political thing, this is a "why are you telling me this weird stuff?" thing. If I'm talking to someone and they suddenly bring up stuff like that I'm going to assume they are some weirdo who wants me to get involved or gets off on telling others.

If you want friends who share your interest in ABDL there are plenty of meet-ups, conventions and people posting persoanl ads. As Mina suggested FetLife is the general hub for ABDL meet ups. If you want to be accepted as an ABDL meet other ABDLs. I'm sure New York is positively teeming with them!

[CrispyCookiePup]

28 minutes ago, Elfy said:

It takes some balls to post something like this on the first day of Pride Month...

Look, you're young so I can forgive some ignorance but in certain states of the USA trans people are having their healthcare taken away, trans kids are being threatened with being kidnapped by the state, hate crimes are rising against LGBT people, trans people are being used as a political football and wake up every day knowig they could have rights stripped away at the whims of others. LGBT books are being removed from classrooms and libraries, teachers face being fired for stating certain facts... Internationally the UK is a hive of transphobia that is getting stronger every day, Uganda just passed a bill with the most draconian penalties for homosexuality. Life for LGBT people is steadily getting harder and harder as they are bombarded with bad news, bigoted opinion pieces and legislative battles that can mean life and death.

You. Cannot. Compare. That. To. ABDL.

I'm sorry but it is a bugbear of mine. Imagnie if someone with a foot fetish lamented how many people made fun of it and compared it to LGBT struggles, we'd find it laughable. Whether ABDL is a sexual thing or not it isn't something vanilla people need to know about nor want to know about.

The way you are talking in that post it sounds like you are far too open about something that you do behind closed doors. Friends will probably judge you if you tell them about your fetish/kink/whatever because it's not something most friends want to know. You ca make friends quite easily, heck, you can wear diapers whilst doing so... You don't need to broadcast your choice of underwear. Should you feel shame about being ABDL? No. That doesn't mean it is something that needs to be shared with people you meet.

I really can't state enough the false equivalence you are hinting at in your post. Literally no one will accuse you of being a paedophile or zoophile if you are the smallest bit sensible. Sure, people online will either ignorantly or maliciously attack ABDLs but guess what... That's been happening since the internet started and yet the community is bigger than ever before.

I can tell you that it doesn't matter where you live. There will be nowhere you move to where people will react better to you telling them you wear diapers for fun. This isn't a left vs. right political thing, this is a "why are you telling me this weird stuff?" thing. If I'm talking to someone and they suddenly bring up stuff like that I'm going to assume they are some weirdo who wants me to get involved or gets off on telling others.

If you want friends who share your interest in ABDL there are plenty of meet-ups, conventions and people posting persoanl ads. As Mina suggested FetLife is the general hub for ABDL meet ups. If you want to be accepted as an ABDL meet other ABDLs. I'm sure New York is positively teeming with them!

Look, I'm sorry if you got offended by this. It's just that I didn't really know what was socially acceptable as much growing up, given that I didn't have as much friends during my childhood and was in a special school for a decade. I was just miserable as fuck since middle school and I just hate trying to fake my own personality to get friends. I'm just so confused because I've always hung out with incredibly toxic people since I was a teenager, especially as I don't know who's supposed to be friendly with me or not. Maybe I'll just try going to these conventions or meet up with local groups.

[CodHero24]

The best thing you can do, is be the person you are, NOT the person you think people want you to be.

Honor the friendships with people you believe in, and don't give up on them.

...But also try not to be bothered when they don't care about you as much as you care about them.  (Easier said than done...)

Your true friends will answer your phone calls, and text messages.

Even friends who you don't talk to daily will talk to you for hours randomly when you both get a chance to connect.

Just be yourself, don't give up, keep your chin up, and maintain a positive state of mind at all times.

 

[Snugglebear_69]

There are tons of babyfurs. Heck, a lot of the conventions have babyfurs on staff. My Daddy and I have a number of babyfur friends. Go to conventions to meet folks and leave the vanilla folkscto their desire to remain in the dark about this stuff.

[CrispyCookiePup]

3 hours ago, Snugglebear_69 said:

There are tons of babyfurs. Heck, a lot of the conventions have babyfurs on staff. My Daddy and I have a number of babyfur friends. Go to conventions to meet folks and leave the vanilla folkscto their desire to remain in the dark about this stuff.

Thank you. I'll try to look up conventions or meetups to probably go to.

[Rue Rue]

On 6/2/2023 at 9:16 AM, CodHero24 said:

The best thing you can do, is be the person you are, NOT the person you think people want you to be.

Honor the friendships with people you believe in, and don't give up on them.

...But also try not to be bothered when they don't care about you as much as you care about them.  (Easier said than done...)

Your true friends will answer your phone calls, and text messages.

Even friends who you don't talk to daily will talk to you for hours randomly when you both get a chance to connect.

Just be yourself, don't give up, keep your chin up, and maintain a positive state of mind at all times.

 

❤ Very true! 🙂