Getting started again

[jlong812000]

So how do you start wearing again after not for at least a year? I was trying to talk to the wife about it last year because I was feeling anxious about wanting to get more. I don’t remember specifics but I decided to stop cold turkey to make her happy and prove I could take it or leave it. Now the desire is coming back and starting to be all I can think about. What’s worse is I’m one of those who feels they need to be told to wear diapers so that it’s not my decision and can’t get in trouble for it. Sad I know. Anyway thanks for reading. 

[Snugglebear_69]

You have ability and authority to start wearing any time that you want to do so. That said, you can't make your spouse participate or tell you to wear diapers if she doesn't want to do so.

Acceptance is something loving spouses should do but participation is entirely different. If the only way you are willing to start wearing diapers again is if your spouse tell you too, well, you may be out of luck.

[Little Sherri]

I agree with @Snugglebear_69. If I were in your shoes, I'd probably start by figuring out what it is that my partner really, truly likes to do. That might be horticulture or reading or travel or wine or breeding show gerbils or high-end cookware. Whatever it is, indulge it and make her feel valued and that what she wants has space in your shared world.

Then, ask her to make space for what you want - and by "ask", I don't necessarily mean specifically asking permission. That might be a great start for some people, but what do you do if she says "Hell no!"? SO, I wouldn't necessarily advocate for directly asking a question that you you might not like her answer to. What I'm suggesting instead goes along these lines: How much say does she have over your underwear choices these days, anyway? Any at all? I'm guessing probably not, or at least, that's the most common arrangement. Do you tell her what underwear she can or can't wear? My wife did not have anything to say about my boxer shorts, back when I wore them. I definitely don't tell her what to wear.

So, make room for her passions and her indulgences, and then, start mixing some plastic underwear into your own life, on your own initiative, and if she pushes back, then, in my opinion, you are on firm ground to say that you don't expect or demand her participation, and, that you do your level best to give her room to do the things she loves, and wearing juvenile underpants is something that you not only enjoy, but also in some ways "need", because it reduces your stress/anxiety/depression/put-your-reason-here in a way that has fewer side-effects than pharmaceuticals. So, she doesn't have to like it but that doesn't give her a veto. 

If she loves you and values you and wants to give you space for happiness, IE if she's a good partner, in the way that you are a good partner to her, then she'll like put up with it, or maybe even occasionally agree to play along. But if her agreeing and, indeed, telling you what to wear, is an absolute requirement for your enjoyment, then you may be out of luck, unfortunately. 

[PuraVidaDip]

7 hours ago, jlong812000 said:

So how do you start wearing again after not for at least a year? I was trying to talk to the wife about it last year because I was feeling anxious about wanting to get more. I don’t remember specifics but I decided to stop cold turkey to make her happy and prove I could take it or leave it. Now the desire is coming back and starting to be all I can think about. What’s worse is I’m one of those who feels they need to be told to wear diapers so that it’s not my decision and can’t get in trouble for it. Sad I know. Anyway thanks for reading. 

You must wear diapers from here on out, no excuses! Half your problem is now solved. Now, go put that diaper on! No need to explain yourself. I don't want to hear any excuses from you!

Otherwise, start having accidents, or say you are and that you've been hiding it because you were ashamed because you also had the kink and you didn't want to wear diapers because you were trying to prove you didn't "like' them anymore. Then you have to wear diapers. And then you have to because you'll be caught in your lie if you don't! Second half of problem is solved, albeit not purely ethically.

Life is too short. Live your life. ?

[Snugglebear_69]

Not sure lying to someone that you love by faking a medical issue you don't have is going to improve the situation. So many ABDLs get themselves into rough spots because they start relationships by lying to the other person. Truth saves a whole lot of hardship in the long run even if it's the tougher option initially.

[~Brian~]

21 hours ago, PuraVidaDip said:

You must wear diapers from here on out, no excuses! Half your problem is now solved. Now, go put that diaper on! No need to explain yourself. I don't want to hear any excuses from you!

Otherwise, start having accidents, or say you are and that you've been hiding it because you were ashamed because you also had the kink and you didn't want to wear diapers because you were trying to prove you didn't "like' them anymore. Then you have to wear diapers.

@jlong812000

I agree  with my colleagues!  if you want to start wearing again you need to start doing it, 24 hours a day seven days a week 365 days a year with no excuses or stops.   @PuraVidaDip is exactly right! no excuses! I would put that diaper on and I would take care of the problem, you do have the authority and you do have the ability to wear diapers, and it shouldn't stop you from wearing them. If you want to wear them put them on Ex

@zombieg will tell you that if you want to wear diapers, in your procrastinating, you shouldn't procrastinate, Because if you procrastinate and you don't do it, all you're going to do is prolong the inevitable that you want to wear diapers and you want to wear them now! your problem probably is is that you're worried about what somebody will say or what somebody will do or how somebody will react! I do I do agree that if you have a significant other, you probably don't want your significant other to be involved in the changing of any diapers or anything like that, if that's not something they want to do. I would definitely have a discussion with your significant other, because It sounds to me like you are dealing with a situation where you are were wearing diapers and had to stop for some reason, and now you want to start again. I'm not sure if there is any reason why you cannot simply purchase papers and wear them, but I would definitely discuss them with your wife you want to do, And following the lead of the rest of my colleagues, I would agree that you do not want to have a situation where your wife our family members give you any grief.

In my case, I ended up putting off the inevitable: For years and years I felt the same way as I do now, I wanted to wear diapers, but I had to repress repress that because I did not want people to think I was a crazy old fool. then I ended up having problems with incontinence in 2018 and 2019, and became a member here in August of 2019. when I started having accidents, I knew this is where I needed to be, and I knew the people that were here were here would be very supportive and helpful, so I became a member here. what I neglected to do was to realize that I've had all these feelings for years, and it was time for me to face the fact that I felt the way I did! I can't make excuses I don't wanna make excuses, I have the problem that I have, it's not gonna get any better, it probably will get worse, but the thing is I don't want my life to stop because of incontinence. incontinence is something that you can deal with, there's a whole bunch of ways that you can deal with incontinence, But my main thing is you cannot deny the obvious, you cannot deny the truth. if you need to wear diapers or you want to wear diapers, then you probably should be wearing diapers! nobody else needs needs to know that you're wearing, except maybe you're significant other, and there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to have a discussion to determine how you're going to do it.

A relationship is a lot of give and a lot of take, and a lot of trying to figure things out in the middle, and trying to compromise and trying to figure out how they're going to do whatever they do in their relationship. that's one thing I've learned over the years, is this if you have a discussion with your significant other, telling them that you have a problem that you need to solve, and you decided that diapers are the best thing, then you probably would be OK. I certainly would not lie to your significant other, because that would cause a major problem in your relationship, and if you lie about this, and keep up the lie, then eventually if you tell your wife or somebody else something else, they might not believe it. The best way to be is to be open and honest, and remember that people love you for better or for worse for richer for poorer insignificant and health until death do you part, And that's the way I've always learned about things like this.

So I definitely would probably say start wearing diapers 24/7, don't put it off any longer, because in my mind it sounds like you are saying to yourself that you want to do it, but you are hesitant, and you are procrastinating, 'cause you're not sure how people will react! the most important thing is your happiness and your comfort, and the compromises that you will probably try to figure out between you and your wife. I don't think it'd be too hard to make sure that happens, but you need to have a frank open and honest discussion with her so that you don't end up telling her something that is not true!

I believe that it would be easy to say and I would be right that once you start wearing diapers again, you will feel better about yourself, because you know you want to do it, and that's what it sounds like to me. All you have to do is figure out a way to talk to your significant other so that this can be dealt with, And the more you wait and the longer you wait, the harder it will be to be able to have a discussion with your significant other regarding the situation.

Good luck!

Brian

[jlong812000]

thanks to all. Your all right I am just procrastinating. When my youngest was born I suddenly felt like I couldn't indulge this side of me anymore.  The wife (during fun time) had said I wasn't allowed into bed without a diaper but once our son was born and I know this is the 'little' side of my brain but she didn't doesn't have time for me. so I stopped wearing, yes to get attention, but it backfired. I guess that is why I want so bad for her to tell me to wear again because then she would be paying attention to me. sad I know. I know I could wear at anytime and it would be ok. sigh I guess I was just waiting for us to have fun time again to see if she would once again tell me to so that she couldn't be mad when I do since it would be her idea. I'm going to stop now because i'm getting sad and starting to ramble....

[PuraVidaDip]

On 3/1/2023 at 9:50 PM, jlong812000 said:

thanks to all. Your all right I am just procrastinating. When my youngest was born I suddenly felt like I couldn't indulge this side of me anymore.  The wife (during fun time) had said I wasn't allowed into bed without a diaper but once our son was born and I know this is the 'little' side of my brain but she didn't doesn't have time for me. so I stopped wearing, yes to get attention, but it backfired. I guess that is why I want so bad for her to tell me to wear again because then she would be paying attention to me. sad I know. I know I could wear at anytime and it would be ok. sigh I guess I was just waiting for us to have fun time again to see if she would once again tell me to so that she couldn't be mad when I do since it would be her idea. I'm going to stop now because i'm getting sad and starting to ramble....

Having children changes things. My wife and I stopped having sex when my second was born due to damage from her pregnancy. I stopped wearing for a while and started again. She may just be tired of diapers because the kids wear them too. Just do your own thing. The only constant in life is change. The old days are gone but the new days can be even brighter, just in a different sort of way.