Finally Accepting Myself as an Adult Kid

[dl_ashlee]

I left these forums when I discovered I was a trans woman. I thought I had left this part of me behind, mostly as I was ashamed of it and thought my external and social transition would put this behind me. Until I started to explore other kink and found out that the kink community does accept ABDL as part of the community.

I went to Dark Odyssey a kink conference, where I found they had workshops including ABDL and play spaces for little's. Though I didn't engage at that point, it got me thinking that maybe I shouldn't be so ashamed of that part of me and one day meet some other little's in person. Then I went to Folsom Street Fair in SF, where again it felt very accepted by the kink community and I didn't feel like a "freak" anymore.

I've bought some Bellismo diapers and they've had a nice calming effect after work and weekends when I have time to engage. Realizing there is an actual community I'd like to go to some meetups now. I don't want it to be life style, but it can be a nice way to de-stress when I'm feeling stressed by my adult life.

I'm certainly more a kid then a toddler/baby. I've had bowel leaking issues my whole life, enough to have stains in my underwear and sometimes a bit more. So I'd say my age is 7-12 years old and needing diapers due to being incontinent. Probably some of it has to do with me realizing I'm transgender, so I feel like I want to engage at that age as a girl rather then a boy, though I don't subscribe that certain activities are specific to gender. Plenty of girls today love playing with cars, science kits, video games, women are going into STIM fields today.

Going to kink events has shown me that no matter your kink you shouldn't be ashamed and there is a community of kinksters that will accept you for it. I love how the newer kink events really make it clear that people are not to kink shame others, no matter their kink. Online you don't get that feeling, but these in person events have really changed my outlook on my diaper/adult kid kink and allowed me to accept that part of me as something not to be ashamed of, but to be embraced as long as its not interfering with being a responsible independent adult for me. Not to say that for others it isn't fine if they decide to engage in a AK/AB lifestyle with a partner that has agreed to take care of being the adult and taking care of you completely. I'm all for anyone who decides that a kink lifestyle is for them, its just not for me.

I want to thank a person I had an amazing summer camping/hiking with and we had long conversations and revealed parts of ourselves, few others get to see. They had no idea I was anything but a cis woman and she confided in me that she's been in sex work since a young age and still makes their living doing it. They also told me about their kinks and told me about the Dark Odyssey kink conference and we went to Folsom Street Fair together. Though they decided to cut ties as they are "to busy", but would contact me if they have time to meetup in the future. Though they don't currently have time for me and may not decide to continue our friendship, if an when they have more time that I'll be forever grateful to them for opening me up to this world that I didn't know existed and thus allowing me to not be ashamed of my kink, but to embrace it.

[newpad101]

Welcome to the community! You're going to love it here. It sounds like you're in the Bay Area like myself! That's great! I'm glad you got to enjoy some events, including with a friend. I'm still newly exploring this side of myself, but it has been a part of me for over 20 years. I only recently started actually buying and using diapers and I agree with you about the comfort and stress relief part 100%. One thing I've learned since actually joining (after so many years of just casually browsing) is that there are SO many great people here, and it's so awesome to talk with likeminded people - I could do it all day, every day. 

I wish you luck in exploring this side of yourself. I highly recommend you check out the Chat for the website and check the 'Diapered' section and you may find some people you really like to talk with. Overall, have fun. Myself personally, I'm still working on some things likely stemming from the DL side being hidden for so long and causing other issues, so I don't think I'm ready yet to actually go to events myself, but I'm eager to get to that point and start exploring the side in person soon enough.

Definitely feel free to message me if you'd like. It's hard to find other people in the Bay Area that are into the same things we are. Have a great rest of the day!

[~Brian~]

13 hours ago, dl_ashlee said:

I left these forums when I discovered I was a trans woman. I thought I had left this part of me behind, mostly as I was ashamed of it and thought my external and social transition would put this behind me. Until I started to explore other kink and found out that the kink community does accept ABDL as part of the community.

@dl_ashlee

first I would like to say that regardless of whether you are an AB or a DL or you are trans, or whatever you identify as, what you need to do when you are exploring is to determine your feelings and how you feel and who and what you are, and try to figure out things like why you might think you are who you think you are. Some of the things that happen during this exploration help you to understand things that you might not think you understand, or might make you understand something you don't understand understand or didn't understand before. this is why it's so important to be able to explore different things. When I was a kid, and this is like when I was six years old all the way up to about 10, I ended up having the feelings that I had, and I had the attraction to diapers for example, And I was trying to figure out why it felt good, or why I wanted to wear them or why i'm wired the way I'm wired. The thing is, it took me several years to determine that yes I do feel this way, and then and then you have to figure out the why! part of the problem is is that you might not know why or how something happens, but there are possible things that happen in your life that are probably the triggers that make it so that you have some way of knowing when or where approximately that you might have determined that determine that you felt the way you felt.

During my exploration, I found out that I am in I am incontinent, I am disabled, I like diapers, and I like the way they feel and I like the way they look and the way they sound in all of this stuff. also during this exploration I found that regardless of what I deal with in my daily life, or what I deal with in my professional life Will always have these feelings I will always have these desires I will always feel that diapers help me in some way. The one thing I couldn't figure out is why diapers were so relaxing or why they made me feel the way they did! I had to explore why I had these feelings, and I had to fight with fight with my own inner self to determine why this is right or why this doesn't feel right, And determined later on that there's nothing wrong with me wearing diapers, liking diapers, using them, or feeling good about it. part of the problem is you have all of this guilt and you have all of the stigma that your parents throw on you as you grow up, saying that only babies wear diapers, or Diapers are terrible or whatever they tell you, to try to tell you that diapers are horrible, and they make it sound like you are some kind of crazy individual because you like the feel of it, you like the sound of it, you like the lifestyle or you like certain parts of it.

I have found that the community here is very welcoming to ABs/DLs/AKs/furries and other fetishes. I've also found that I have learned a lot from the community itself, and this is a very welcoming community and will always be there for us, as long as we allow for people being who they are and what they want to be. Because of this community, I have accepted that I am incontinent I am disabled I am also a diaper lover, And I've also realized that regardless of what happens, regardless of how far away you go from it, or how you try to back away from it, that you always will be what you are, and that will never change! you may decide at some point that you wish to leave the community for a small, But from what I see, people come back when they feel something draw them back here! this is one of the best communities in my opinion, because what I've learned from experience is that there are good things about the community, there are bad things about the community, and then there's always people who will say the negative things that are really really bad, try to put down the community, and make a sound look and feel like something something that were not, And that can be a problem. In my mind, I am here because I am a DL, incontinent, and because I felt that way all my life, and that will never change. The community may change somehow, but my feelings probably won't! that's what makes it strange, because you fight with your psyche and your brain to determine why you feel the way you do, and it takes a lot to be able to determine why you feel that way, but you can't deny what is true.

@DailyDi Has said that he wants to make this community welcoming for everyone! I applaud this because there are a lot of different people who are here for a lot of different reasons, way too many for us to list here, but there are many people who are here are here because they feel it is somewhere where they belong. a community is as good as it as it is made, And the people that are part of it make it an awesome place. Mikey and his staff in my opinion, make daily diapers the best place, because we are allowed to be who we are, and we are not shunned or made fun of or attacked because of our beliefs, because we want to make sure people feel people feel welcome, and feel part of a family! daily diapers to me is a family, and it has been proven many times that there are good people here that have many different experiences, many different stories, and can tell us whole bunch of different stuff about how they started or why they're here, or how they got here. we could all start going down one rd, but we might end up having to take several winding dirt rds or cross bridges or whatever it is, but eventually we all end up at the end of the winding rd, and we're standing in Mikey's living room, the cyber home of daily diapers because we believe that this is home. I wholeheartedly believe in this, and I support every person regardless of what they find themselves accepting themselves for. It doesn't matter to me what anyone identifies as, as long as they can be the people that they wanna be without having people feel bad or film like they don't belong! we all have a place here at daily diapers, and that is what I believe is most important: and I'm glad that I am here!

I will say to you that I welcome you back, and I hope that you are able to explore more of yourself and determine for yourself You are in your life. There's a lot of different things that have changed in mind, but the one thing that hasn't is the fact that I still feel the way I did when I was eight years old, and when you have feelings as strong as that, or you have needs as strong as that, you can not try to force the issue and you cannot deny the truth: I am a diaper lover I am incontinent, And that's the way it is! no matter if I left here for one hour, or one year, that would not change, but the things around me may change, but what makes me who I am Probably will never change!

Welcome Home!

Brian

[dl_ashlee]

For whatever reason its been something that has also been an interest of mine since I was about 11 years old. I thought my egg cracking and transitioning from male to female at age 36 (39 now, 40 in April, but only been about a year since others no longer see me as visually trans), would allow me to move on from this kink. It didn't do that, but it did allow me to not necessarily be engulfed by my kink and have it as something just to de-stress and act little when I'm feeling overwhelmed. Through my transition I also learned I'm autistic, so something like this makes even more sense as to why I have this kink. Also just realized being autistic is very likely why I bite my nails as its an oral fixation I've always had.