A Need To Wear Diapers.

[fairfaxdl]

What I’ve realized recently is that while I’m not physically incontinent, I do have a need to wear diaper. Its no less real than those with a physical condition. While I don’t see it as a disability, it does fit the common usage for the term. I have to wear diapers. I have a compulsion to wet myself and that requires me to wear diapers. When I don’t wear, or more precise, when I can’t wet myself, I get anxious, stressed, sad, depresses and generally feel like crap. I’ll still wet myself a little when I can. Its just something that I can’t not do.

Now that I’m able to just wet myself, I feel just fine and happy in life. I don’t live to wet myself, in other words, it doesn’t run my life or anything. I just feel released from a problem.

I first started to think about this over the weekend because my wife arranged for me to see a shrink about this on Monday. It wasn’t to “cure” me or anything. As she put it, just to get it on the record that its something you need to do.

The shrink was a woman in her mid 40’s. I think she was just a few years older than me. At first she thought my wearing diapers was a sexual fetish. It took a while but she realized it wasn’t infantilism or some fetish. It is really about me wetting myself. We talked for over 4 hours about things. She asked to see my diaper bag and all the supplies. She asked to see me in the diaper. She was looking more at my demeanor than what I was wearing. (Cotton with blue plastic pants.) She didn’t ask to see me change or anything like that. I think she was looking for baby diapers or something that could be considered sexual or exhibitionism. I don’t think she saw anything like that. (I only “modeled” my diaper and plastic pants for all of 5 minutes.) I think she was disappointed when I told here how much I’m not interested in sex or masturbation.

She asked some odd and hard questions like, how do I feel wearing diapers? How does it make me feel when I wet myself? And so on. There were some funny questions which really make me wonder about people. She asked how I would feel if a horse or cow peed on me. And some other equally bizarre and some downright gross.

Eventually I got to tell her my thoughts on the whole thing which I described above. Oh, she asked me to tell her whenever I wet myself as we were talking. Not sure what that was for but I did. Since it was in the evening, I was peeing a little about every 15-20 minutes.

I didn’t really like the woman much. My wife was referred to her by someone she knows. I looked around and didn’t see any family photos. She was into horses and equestrian activates. I really got the idea that she may have been gay. Nothing to really say why I thought that, just a feeling. Its funny, after the horse and animal questions, I started to notice how many horse photos, statues, or other art she had around. Made me wonder what her preferences were.

A large part of the evening was spent recounting my feelings to wear diapers and/or to wet myself. At first I didn’t remember much at all but as we did it I started to remember a lot. There were a lot of times I would pee myself just a little. Not enough to show through my pants but enough to make my underwear wet. I noticed I would do it when I was stressed or bored. When I was taking tests at school I would do it. When I was in front of people giving a presentation I would do it. A couple times in high school and latter, I did it enough to show but no one noticed. Sometimes I would “spill” something to cover it up but to also give me an excuse to pee a bit more. I would do it in job interviews, dates, whenever. When I was out and had to pee, it was normal for me to let a little bit out before I went to the restroom. When I was a teenager sometimes before I took a shower, I would stand in the tub just so I could pee in my underwear. I would then take a shower and rinse out my pants so no one could tell.

I did want to wear a diaper so I could always pee but I never did. I purposefully wet the bed when I was 12 or 13 a couple of times but nothing became of it. I think I was trying to have a problem so I would have to wear diapers or something.

She asked a lot of questions about me peeing in my truck in March. She asked why I soaked my seat instead of just wetting enough for it to show and then say I had a problem. Why did I have to pee so much in the truck. I was stumped. I hadn’t thought about it. I said that once I started I just didn’t want to stop. It felt so right that I just wanted to let it go. I knew I was soaking my seat and so on but I just didn’t care. And of course I haven’t held it since then. She asked about my thoughts and feeling at the time and all other sorts of things that didn’t make since but now have me wondering. Like did anyone yell at me before it happened? Or, was I under pressure at work or anything?

Before I went there, I didn’t realize that I would nearly always pee myself before I had to go. I knew that sometimes I did it a little but I had no idea I did it that much. I asked my wife if she knew and she said that she always wondered about my underwear. When I first told here about my “problem” in March, she thought it was legit because of the “leaking” she noticed I my underwear.

I know realize that my mom had to know since she did my laundry and it would have been impossible to hide the pee stains. That’s a weird thought!

That’s about it. She asked if she can talk to both my wife and I together next week and I said yes. I’m not sure what it will be about.

[Radioman]

Please keep us up to date on this. It will be interesting to see where this goes with her.

Be careful, if your wife pressured you into going, she may not be as accepting as you

think she is. You wife may be hoping that the shrink will cure you? because she loves you

she may not tell you why she wanted you to go.

[fairfaxdl]

Please keep us up to date on this. It will be interesting to see where this goes with her.

Be careful, if your wife pressured you into going, she may not be as accepting as you

think she is. You wife may be hoping that the shrink will cure you? because she loves you

she may not tell you why she wanted you to go.

My wife is sincere. She wants me to see the shrink so that there is a clinical diagnosis that I have a compulsion to wet myself and need to wear a diaper. This way it can be proven that;

a. I am not a pervert.

b. I have a valid compulsion and need to wear a diaper.

Just in case something were to happen at work and they want to fire me or hassle me, we have proof that this isn’t something that I can’t really control.

Basically, she wants it on the record that I have a condition that requires me to wet myself and wear a diaper.

I really do think she wants whatever I want and is ok with it since it has made me happy.

[Guest]

Hmmm... How would I feel if a cow or a horse peed on me?

I think it'd go something like this...

*sobbing* Oh GOD! PLEASE get me a shower! *sobs all the way home, trying not to touch anything*

Ew Ew ew ew ew ew! *throws clothes on to a tiled part of the floor*

*bangs head LEAPING in to the shower, knocking herself unconscious and drowns in the bathwater*

[Toddler Sissy]

Hmmm... How would I feel if a cow or a horse peed on me?

I think it'd go something like this...

*sobbing* Oh GOD! PLEASE get me a shower! *sobs all the way home, trying not to touch anything*

Ew Ew ew ew ew ew! *throws clothes on to a tiled part of the floor*

*bangs head LEAPING in to the shower, knocking herself unconscious and drowns in the bathwater*

*blinks, looks up at the cow/horse* What the hell am I doing here!? I don't even live CLOSE to a cow/horse! This doesn't seem logically possible!