Spent the day with my Dad.......

[~Brian~]

Good evening everyone:

this is the day I have been waiting for for a long time! recently this summer, my dad and my stepmother moved from their longtime residence to an assisted living facility. My dad is 75 and my stepmom is 71, and my stepmother is the one that requires round the clock care. My dad ends up paying a rental Amount every month, and my step mom pays her rent through her medical insurance, because she needs 24 hour around the clock assistance.

A couple days ago, I got a call from my dad, inviting me to come see them at their new place, in a building called chestnut place. this building has several floors, and one of them is a nursing home on one floor, with a memory unit, which my father says is a full lockdown unit, because of dementia and Alzheimer's and other things, and on the 2nd floor there are assisted living apartments, and I think the third floor is also assisted living and the last two floors are the independent living apartments. each apartment is based on need, and in my dad and my step moms case they are in the assisted living units, which means they have a 650 square foot apartment, with basically a small sink and a small refrigerator, a microwave, and then a bathroom that is full sized, and a small living room and a good sized bedroom..

So my dad told me that I could come up either today or tomorrow call, and I chose to come up on Wednesday, today. dad told me today. dad told me That he would meet me at the main door once I arrive. I met him at the apartment complex, and it was really nice. because it is a secure facility, everyone has to sign in  & out, and for now, everybody wears masks masks in the building in the hallways. My parents live on the 2nd floor, And the apartment is really nice. I got to see everything that you can see from the living room and the enterway, and then of course they showed me pictures of the laundry The laundry center and also she asked me to check out the bathroom, but I didn't get a chance to. By the looks of this this place is really nice, there are good people here, and since my step mom needs 24 hour care, an assistance, and my dad has medical issues as well, it kind of compliments Both of them. they don't have to worry about making food, and everything is taken care of for them. just like I have my home health people come in once a week for example, there's one person that comes in for me, every week, and they do the same thing for my parents, and someone comes in and cleans their apartment and takes out to try And things, but dad says he takes care of his own trash and does as much for himself as he can. he also checks on his neighbour's common make sure everything is OK, and there are people whose job it is to make sure everybody is doing OK, and there are a lot of good people that take care of these people up here.

Dad showed me the main entryway, the dining room, the entertainment room/ living room, and he also said that there was a bar that was in the Lower level, which people could come to at 4 o'clock to be able to bring their drinks, bring their wine and everything else. I met the chef, and I met some of my dad's friends, as well as some of Dad's and Carolyn support staff: they take care of everybody on the floor and, and the cool thing is there Is a director of nursing and it's assistant director of nursing on their floor common so if anything is happening, they know what immediately and can get the appropriate people in there quickly. if something should happen to my step mom for example, she just presses her button and she can get help very quickly.

Dad did tell me when he talked to me, that he's been dealing with and ulcer, which I think is really really bad, but he said they'll be able to help him by having him do an Endoscopy and a colonoscopy to make sure that there's nothing else going on. dad said that they took real good care of him in the hospital, and that he is doing a lot better, and I'm glad to see that both of them are happy, they can do whatever they want within reason, and when they want to get away, they can go to their campsite in New Hampshire during the summer. We also talked about the way things have been going, the way I've been feeling, and other things, and I talk to my dad for a good hour just about almost anything, Listen to them tell me things about the people that they live with.

I even met the chef that makes the food, and the Desk people on the lower level: all of them are really professional, they really know how to make someone feel at home, and it was like my dad was giving me the $1,000 tour. we went up and what dad said was a freight elevator and this thing could probably fit 6 large electric wheelchairs of the six wheel variety, and still have enough room to be able to have a couple people behind it! dad said that this type of an elevator is used for somebody moving in or out, and it's pretty cool. This building is pretty darn new, so it's awesome, and they make it look like and feel like home, so I know that my dad and my step mom will be very happy there. I know that I am also happy, because one of the things that I want to make sure happens is that they are comfortable they are enjoying themselves and they don't have a thing to worry about.

I love them both, and I miss them, and today was one of the first days I've been able to see them since they moved. it was quite easy, because I do public transportation every week Every week anyway, so going to see my dad would be as easy almost as going to the local mall, you just have to go up another few feet and go into his driveway. they invited me back again and told me that I could come see them, and that if I was in the area I could call and ask to come over. the only thing I have to be careful of is if there's something that they are doing. I'm glad that I was able to see them, and because of all the good people and all of the facilities they have over there, it makes me feel good because I don't have to worry about what's gonna happen if they need help, because they'll be able to get the help they need, they are so close to the hospital that it isn't even funny it's almost maybe a mile away if less than that, so it's not too bad!

their apartment is smaller than mine, because theirs is the Assisted living size. they have all their meals made for them in the dining room and they eat family style, and that's pretty cool. i'm sure that they have plenty of other activities that they can do as well, and based on what I saw I was very impressed. it's always a good thing to have good people that care about your loved ones and make sure that they are taking well care of, and that is one thing that makes me quite happy: my dad took care of me for so many years, and even at his age today, he helps me as much as he can, and now I'm glad that somebody can help them now that they are getting older, and they need to help as well. just like the day when I decided to wear diapers 24/7 because it was easier for me to handle it, it was a decision that was life changing and also helped me for the better!

this year will be the first year that I have not gone to my dad's or my mom's for Thanksgiving. I made this statement way back in September that I wasn't going to be making trips home I guess all those very often, because I would have to be walking around my mom's house and I am in no condition to be walking on my walker for long periods of time, and it's not very safe for me to be walking out in the snow. going to my dad's would be easy because the bus can drive me directly up there and I can bring my chair directly into the building and you're right into his apartment, but going to my mom's house is hard because there is no ramp so I can't bring my chair directly into the house, and they can't put it in the car. Because of this, I will be getting a meal from the local American Legion Post on Thanksgiving Day, and two days before that I will be getting it from National Life Group, which has offices in Montpelier, and they use Sedexo as there food service.

So today I sit after spending the entire day with my dad and my step mom, and I'm very very pleased very very happy and content! being able to spend time with my dad is something that I treasure because dad has a lot of information and he knows a lot of stuff, and there are times that it gets real hard when you live alone, you don't get to see people that you love that often, but when I get the chance I always try to spend time with my dad or my step mom or any of them that want to spend time with me, my mom refuses To see me here at my apartment, because she thinks it's a disaster area, but I'm not sure why she thinks that, because she just thinks she has to clean my unit. I figure at 50 years old, I don't need to explain much to them, And I don't have to answer to them as far as that goes, because I live my life to the best of my ability, and I always try to respect my parents even though sometimes I think they forget to respect me., I always have told my parents that I love them. and that's the way it is: I told them that I was 50 years old, and that my body was changing and the way I have to do things will have to change, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I would never see them again but I won't be in a position where I can get strong enough so I can be walking like I did 20 years ago!

i'm glad that I spent time with my dad and my stepmom, and I'm glad that I was able to take one day and spend time with my family: As I get older, it dawns on me that each day that extends beyond my 50th birthday means that Means that my parents are getting older by the year. this also means that unfortunately I will have to deal with that particular situation when they get old enough where they might not be around anymore. because of this, I try to take advantage of any available time that I can go over and see them, because I might not be able to do it like to anymore, because of my schedule but I always try to talk to them as much as.

So all in all I had a good day: and then I came home and I've watched escape from New York and I'm watching airport 1970. good movies good times, but my legs are cold and I am cold period I guess I'll have to have my brother Wrangle the air conditioners out so we can bring the temperature in here to a comfortable 75 degrees!

take care all! very happy today!

Brian