Dummy? 1-30

[Les Lea]

Part 21

 

Granny was in her late seventies but had not been in the best of health for a couple of years. Both her daughters were now in their forties but Aunty Jane had never married and been looking after her since the illness started. Like mum aunty was tough but the last few weeks, before mum went to help out, had put a strain on her and her mother’s relationship that thankfully mum was able to de-stress. I think it helped that they both had someone else to connect with so for the past couple of weeks mum was there, they were able to come up with new plans for the future.

 

Apparently, Granny wanted us all to live together in her big house because there was room for everyone. She also added that she wasn’t seeing me half as much as she would have liked, and at her age (she laboured the point to mum) she wasn’t getting any younger and opportunities to spoil her only grandson were diminishing. Apparently, it was at this point that she revealed the fact that she was sitting on a fortune. Not only was the old house worth several hundred thousand, her assets (which we were unaware of) reached into the millions. Not that she was miser-like in any way but we just didn’t know how rich she was. Money had never been a problem so was never talked about. And now, she wanted us to share in her wealth but to do so we needed to all be together. That was her wish.

Of course Granny was not above a bit of emotional blackmail and mum said she laid it on thick but, as she was already feeling a bit guilty about the lack of visits and daughterly care she could have offered, succumbed to those familial pleas.

Despite that, mum had put up all the arguments for me; I work, I’m independent, I had friends here and, although I loved Granny and aunty, I wasn’t sure I felt the need to be with them all the time. However, I could see that mum was feeling guilt-ridden about leaving her sister to cope with their mother all the time, and also, thinking ahead, made the point I would be in line for a huge pay out when Granny eventually passed over.

“The amount love,” mum was speaking softly and trying to convince me of the plus to all this, “is that you’d be set for life and could do what you wanted.”

“But mum, I do what I want now, and...” despite the lure of money I’m not fixated on it like some. However, even I could hear the whine in my voice like a little kid who wasn’t getting his own way and stopped my argument.

“Mum, has the decision already been made?” I was worried that was the case, which would be par for the course. Mum didn’t say anything but whispered that it was all going to be OK though didn’t say “yes” or “no”. She still held me tightly in her arms but as there was a lull in her argument wanted to deflect that line of debate for a while.

Food.

#

Mum ordered a delivery as neither of us could be bothered cooking and we happily chomped through a huge 14” tuna and vegetable pizza, with a side order of a litre of Coke and ice cream brownies. That kept us quiet for a while but we were both starving so the entire thing disappeared as we sat watching a bit of a murder mystery on TV about a town in Oxfordshire that must have had the worst crime rate in the UK.

Eventually I settled back and hugged mum again but didn’t want to discuss that particular topic further so came up with another subject.

Although we’d talked about it before I asked her how she and dad got together. Incredibly she seemed pleased with the change of direction and went into more detail than I remembered her ever doing before.

#

Apparently, dad’s parents had died in an accident so at the age of fourteen was sent to live with his nearest relation, his father’s sister who lived across the road from Granny. Mum was just a year younger but watched this new boy settle into his new family life which, due to the circumstances, must have been quite difficult. Although his aunt and uncle welcomed him he ended up being the eldest because his cousins (brothers and sister as they became) where three boys and a girl, the eldest of which was a boy aged only ten.

Mum said there was a little resentment to begin with but dad, even then, was unlike most other boys on the estate; thoughtful and protective. He was always looking out for his new siblings and making sure they were kept safe and entertained. He’d start up games for them and was always there if one scuffed a knee or looked distressed. Mum said one day she saw him slip a dummy between one of the crying boy’s lips and was surprised to see the little lad take to it.

Later, she asked him if he was punishing his ‘brother’ for crying but he replied that he’d never do that. ‘You have to put yourself in the other person’s position and see what’s wrong from their point of view’. He knew his brother was distraught but also knew that a dummy, with a slight coating of honey, slipped between the lips, automatically got the sucking going. He told mum that ‘Once that starts all problems fade away as the soothing element of that nursing rhythm takes over and eases the mind’.

She asked where this wisdom had come from and he simply replied his dad was a very caring man and understood people better than they often understood themselves. ‘Simple solutions are often the best.’ He told a very impressed thirteen year old girl who eventually, at the age of twenty-four, married that boy.

Once married they lived with Granny for a year but a new job on the cards meant a move away. Granny apparently helped with the mortgage deposit, and just a year or so later I was on the way. Everyone was happy though Granny would have preferred us all to be together. However, he son-in-law’s new location for work meant that wasn’t an option and so we were where we were now.

“Where’s dad’s family now?” I asked suddenly aware that there was much about this tale I hadn’t heard before and was quite surprised of the detail I was now getting.

His aunt and uncle retired to a place in the north of Scotland, in fact they moved to Shetland in the end. “We still exchange Christmas cards” mum clarified. The two sons had married and moved away, whilst the daughter tragically died in childbirth. His youngest sibling, Adam was in the Royal Navy and a Captain but no one local had seen him for years. It was assumed when on leave he sees his mum and dad in Scotland but has not returned to the neighbourhood.

I had no idea I had relations so far north as I couldn’t ever remember visiting them. Mum said there was no reason why we couldn’t visit them it was just that we never did.

Of course I’d seen the cards at Christmas but didn’t realised who they were from and I’d never asked. Or maybe I had been told early on and just didn’t remember. However, I was learning a lot but mum was still thinking seriously about us going back to live with Gran.

“Your father and I loved our time living at the house with mum and Jane. She did everything she could to make us welcome but, when it wasn’t an option for your father’s work, she helped us get this place.” Mum was smiling as she remembered. “In fact, after your father died she wanted us to return and live with her then but, well, you were at school and I thought you’d had enough anxiety in your life without still more upheaval.”

“Mum,” I was still being held in a cuddle and she was still patting my soggy padding, “I can’t go back... what about my job, they don’t have offices where Granny is. Also what about my friends...”

“Well a couple are going to university elsewhere... but I get your point, there are your work colleagues and of course the boys to consider” Thoughts of my wonderful morning flashed in to my head and just how fantastic both Billy and Mark had been. “However, sweetheart, your Granny isn’t well and it would mean so much if we all lived together. She really misses not being part of your life.”

I could feel her rubbing my padding and I suddenly thought about that.

“Erm mum, what about, you know, my liking of...” and indicated my bulging shorts showing the engorged disposable.

“Ohh love, do you think they don’t know about that?”

 “Er, erm, um...” I was shocked at this revelation.

“Of course they know. They’re very much in tune to how your father thought. If it’s,” she emphasised what she was saying by stroking my shiny padding, “something you want, or feel you need, then who has any say in that apart from you? Your family would... and do... support you.”

I was still considering the fact that Granny and aunty knew about my love of nappies.

“Mum, did you have to tell them?”

“Sweetheart, it’s no secret and did you think I’d keep a very special part of what makes you you from them? You are very special to us all and we all appreciate that over the years, and thanks to your father’s philosophy, a dummy and nappies are something you feel you need. We’re all happy with that whether you’re nine months, nine or nineteen years old... it’s what makes you so adorably special.”

“But mum,” I whined but she just kept patting the soggy bulk of my soaked disposable. It was difficult getting uptight when you've just been called adorable.

It was getting late.

“Look love, I’m sure all this is a bit confusing so why don’t you sleep on it and tomorrow we can discuss your thoughts, mmm?”

It was Saturday night but it wasn’t that late, maybe I needed time to think about what mum has said but, I really didn’t think moving in with family was the way I wanted to go. As I kept telling myself, I had work, a life and friends here so why would I want to move?

#

Sunday morning, and after one of the worst nights I’ve ever had, and with not only a soaked nappy but one that contained a huge mess, I was sure that was the result of anxiety getting the better of me. I couldn’t remember having a dream that might have been the cause of such a disaster but I couldn’t deny there was a messy nappy to contend with... and me at nearly nineteen.

Mum came in to ask what I wanted for breakfast but immediately smelled the problem. I’d missed mum being around but hated the situation as this was a nasty reintroduction to my problem. Thankfully, the nappy I was wearing had been one of the very thick ones and the rubber pants had been tight and secure – I was a mess yes but nothing had escaped from its sturdy fabric prison.

“Oh sweetheart, I should have thought about how anxious you get, I’m sorry.” She set about the usual opening windows and searching in the drawers for suitable replacements. “OK, why don’t you go and clean yourself up whilst I get things ready here?”

I didn’t want to move. Not only that but felt I’d let her down in some way – she thinking I was adult enough to consider about what had been suggested. Instead, all I’d come up with was a childishly messy nappy and I was on the verge of tears. It wasn’t just disgust with myself but generally feeling I’d failed to be a ‘proper’ grown up. I needed my nappies more than I thought and I saw mum deciding that once out of the shower, she’d make sure I was suitably protected.

“Mum, I’m sorry.” I whined.

“Don’t worry love, that’s what the nappies are for and whilst you still need them...”

She didn’t say any more, just got me up and led me waddling to the bathroom.

“Now sweetheart, take your time but be thorough and I’ll have things ready when you come back.” She smiled encouragement but still couldn’t help a slight tap on my billowing bottom as I passed.

I locked the door but still heard an audible sigh as she returned to my room to sort out what I’d be wearing for the rest of the day.

#

I removed the messy fabric and tried my best to scrape as much of the crap off and into the toilet; it was going to take a phenomenal soak to ever get that clean. I sat there on the toilet seat and contemplated what had happened over night because I’d been tossing and turning. One minute I was thinking about having to move to Granny’s place, the next about Tom and his need to ‘chat’. Then it would switch to the fun Terry and I had, which would morph into Billy, Mark and me behaving like toddlers and playing about in our huge fluffy disposables. It was then I remembered that at one point, I’d asked Billy in my dream if he liked messing his nappy. He looked horror-struck at the idea but, at the same time, I’d forced one out to show I had no trouble with it. The thing is, I hate to mess my nappy so why I was trying to coax Billy into doing it in front of me . However, that was when I must have filled mine but I had no idea of the time scale. I may have been lying around in it for most of the night. Uuurrrggg!

As I showered I was thorough and remembered, like I was still a kid, how mum used to tell me where to be especially methodical. Of course, when I’d finished and returned to my room mum was there with an array of lotions, powders and ample protection. I wasn’t going to argue even though I thought about it. I’d missed mum and she was just doing what mums do.

“OK sweetheart, I think you need a bit of mum’s attention so just relax and let me get on with it.”

Immediately Billy’s words came back to me as I let him and Mark sort out my nappy but mum was putting me in one of the double thick fabric ones. “I think we need to keep you well and truly covered for today... don’t you?

It was obvious I wasn’t going to get a say in it so I just nodded and let her get on with it. She’d even got me a shirt and shorts ready to go over the thick plastic bulk that I ended up wearing as my Sunday best.

#

All day mum was very attentive. She made all the meals and occasionally checked down the back of my shorts that I hadn’t had an accident and although I was a bit annoyed about it, I still let her continue.

“Look love,” she said at one point, “I’ve neglected you recently and I’m not sure, despite you saying all was OK, that you’ve coped particularly well.”

It was true I hadn’t eaten much but I had been busy in other areas and of course my mind had been elsewhere working on the new project for the company. There wasn’t a great deal I could tell her about that so we settled into a day of reading and watching TV. At one point we had a rare game of Scrabble but decided that with just two playing it was boring so that soon came to an end. I assumed she didn’t want to bring up our move again in case it stressed me more so it was a fairly quiet Sunday.

Again, by 9pm I was dozing in front of the TV so mum suggested an early night. I hoped I didn’t have one as bad as the previous night but mum checked I was dry and everything was tucked in behind the thick rubber pants before I toddled off to bed. Thankfully, a warm cup of Horlicks before we went had relaxed me enough to slip under the covers and fall asleep fairly quickly.

I woke up to nothing more than a moderately soaked nappy... so relief all round as I had a quick breakfast and then got ready for work. When I went back upstairs to my room mum had already got my workwear ready but also made sure I didn’t forget some robust padding.

“We don’t want any accidents at work now do we?”

I don’t know why she suddenly thinks I’m incapable of sorting myself out but, in truth, I liked being made a fuss of.

#

 

 

As I walked down the corridor to the lab I noticed a very ashen looking Tom coming out of the HR office. So he came back yesterday but didn’t tell me so gather I was still in his bad books. I was even more sure of that fact when he gave me a withering look as he walked past but didn’t smile of say “Hi”.

Oh hell I thought, I bet Terry’s told him what happened and... well... I didn’t want to think of that conversation.

Just as I was about to follow him into the lab Mrs Garfield caught my attention looking perturbed as she beckoned me over.

“Ah Jason, can you come into my office please?” There was no encouraging smile so I was immediately on my guard. I wondered if Tom and I had broken some company rule or something but any how I had a bad feeling about this.

Once I was sat down the head of HR looked decidedly uncomfortable but after clearing her throat a couple of times jumped straight in.

“Sorry Jason but I’m going to have to ask you a few questions, which will appear a bit insensitive but if you refuse to answer might prove problematic.”

OK I felt that first spurt of pee being absorbed by my padding and that was just the opening line.

“First off, do you wear nappies?”

That second spurt of pee was warming my cock and ball pretty thoroughly but I saw no reason to lie.

“Erm, actually, because I get anxious I do wear protection to the office.”

“Do you wear ones with cartoon characters over them... erm...?”

She looked away for a second obviously wondering how she was going to deal with my answer but again I saw no reason to lie.

“Sometimes,” I thought that was a good enough answer. “Why do you need to know?”

“Well Jason, I’m afraid that Mister Tridwell has launched a Vexatious Dismissal counter claim to his sacking... and claims that both you and Tom Tynan had conspired to have him fired because he rebuffed your advances.”

“What the...?” I stopped myself from swearing but couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “But he was the problem not me and I have proof about what he said and did to me from... Tom.”

Then I remembered the sullen and angry looking face I’d seen leave this very office earlier. What the hell had happened?

#

“So,” I tried to get my head around what was Mrs Garfield was telling me, “just what the hell is vexatious dismissal?”

“Well, in a written statement that has been sent to us by the legal department, he claims that you pursued him and wanted him to be your ‘friend’ and despite many refusals, you continued your campaign hoping for him to capitulate.”

“But that’s just nonsense; I just tried to ignore him as much as possible...”

“Yes he mentioned that you tried in public to show your contempt for him but in fact you were completely infatuated by him. Even on one occasion in the men’s toilet, tossing a soaked nappy under his cubicle and asking if, and I quote “Daddy would like to change his little boy?”

“But that’s not what happened.”

“He’s given a description of the nappy and it sounds very much like the one you’ve just told me you wear... how would he know if he hadn’t seen it?”

“Yes he saw it and tried to blackmail me into doing his spying because he knew I wore one.”

“So his story is correct, a nappy appeared under the toilet partition and he was in that other toilet.”

“Yes but, erm, I didn’t know anyone was in there and it just accidentally got kicked as I was manoeuvring myself into another position to change.”

“OK, if that’s your story.”

“It’s not my story it’s what happened,” I tried to sound matter-of-fact and confident. Alas, my bladder was uncontrollably filling the rest of my comforting and thick disposable so mightily glad to be wearing thick rubber pants.

“Look Tom has just admitted to me that you and he are, erm, in a relationship and it is Mr Tridwell’s assertion that because Mr Tynan had a strange fixation with the youngest member of staff, that both you and him colluded to come up with a tissue of lies to get him fired. Not only that but claims that although your work was good he found you a little too childish to be working in an adult setting, nonetheless, was hopeful being in this environment you might mature.”

There was an awful lot going on here but I just sat dumbfounded, I couldn’t believe the lies this man had been spinning.

“When he mentioned his concerns to you he says you claimed to want an older person to take you under their wing. When you wanted more than advice from Mr Tridwell, again he asserts, you didn’t take rejection well and came up with this total fabrication.”

“Well that’s a lie.”

“So you and Tom Tynan are not in a relationship?”

“Erm, well, ummmm, we might be...” I could see from the way the head of HR was now looking at me that there was some doubt about the initial complaint against Tridwell and now I was being suspected of getting an innocent man fired.

She looked at me in silence for a few moments. I could tell her opinion had changed and I could barely look at her. It was all a pack of lies.

“But he attacked me.” I tried one last time for her to take my side.

“He mentioned that and said he let a moments anger burst through him because you simply wouldn’t take no for an answer, and deeply regretted that moment when he simply lost control of the situation. He said he tried to apologise but had himself been threatened by your boyfriend...”

“But he wasn’t my boyfriend then.”

“Oh really, so how long after this did you two get together?”

I could feel my explanation was simply slipping away because I didn’t know what Tom had said and Tridwell’s account, although all lies, did make a good case.

“So,” I filled in the silence, “what now?”

“Well, the company definitely doesn’t want to see a court case... the publicity would be horrendous. However, Mr Tridwell has insisted that if he doesn’t hear something to his satisfaction, and his complete reinstatement and a clean record, he’s quite prepared to take it further.”

“Well what does that mean?”

“Look, all we can gather is he’s seriously accusing you and Tom of conspiring together to get him sacked.”

“But none of that’s true... he can’t just make stuff up and expect to be believed... can he?”

“I guess he plans to drag you, Tom and the company through the courts where his barrister can cross-examine you both about your relationship and your predilection for wearing nappies.”

“Oh fu...”

“Yes, oh fuck indeed,” Mrs Garfield concluded.

#

As I waddled from HR my padding was completely soaked. I still had my backpack and wondered if I should attend to that first or try and find Tom and see what his thoughts on all this were.

Certainly, the expanded nappy needed urgent attention so I found myself in exactly the same cubicle where I had been accused of soliciting Tridwell. However, my need for a fresh nappy was paramount and so I checked first there was no one else in any of the other stalls and having satisfied this was the case stripped out of my sopping wet cartoon disposable. It wasn’t exactly like the one Tridwell had described but not far off. The pleasure I took when mum put me in it this morning was now fading and if I had one I’d have used a plane Durable Slip. Alas, all I had in my bag were cheerful characters so they’d have to do. It was a shame because normally they cheer me up if I’m feeling stressed. On this occasion, they didn’t lift my spirits even if they were doing a good job of keeping me nicely dry.

Mrs Garfield had suggested I might want to take some time off and think about the situation but first I needed to talk to Tom. I found him in a meeting with the professor but hung around until he was free. The prof asked if I needed anything but I told him the HR needed to speak with Tom. I lied because I couldn’t think of another way of getting to him before I left for the day.

I could see the look of resentment on his face as Tom was excused by Professor Rashaan.

“What do you want?” He asked abruptly.

“Well first do you know what the hell is going on?” I tried to reason.

“Yes, Tridwell is finding a way of making our ‘relationship’,” he said the word with a touch of vindictiveness I couldn’t understand, “seem that I’m a predator on young kids and you’re a conniving little slag... because he accuses you of throwing yourself at him.”

“But that didn’t happen... you know it didn’t happen.” I pleaded.

“Really, so Terry was just a faze was he... and exposing yourself to Barnsy just an accident...?

“But, but...” I was lost for words.

“Terry told me about his session with you and I have to say I didn’t believe it... until I was dragged into HR and told what that madman Tridwell is accusing you of.” I felt tears forming but he was taking no notice. “You’ve taken me for a fool Jase and I don’t like it.”

The tears fell. How could I make him realise that none of this was my fault... and yet, despite Tridwell’s lies I somehow knew I had this coming.

“If he doesn’t get his own way he sounds like he’s planning on ruining both our careers and I’m not sure where we’d stand with regards to receiving company backing. They’re running scared and Mrs Garfield has already given a nod that they are prepared to take him back as if nothing happened.”

“Really?”

“Yes but that would depend on us, whether we feel we can defend ourselves and to be honest I need this job, no, I love this job and I don’t want to jeopardise working here.”

He was sort of pleading his case as if the decision was mine. I apparently held the power of what happens next in my hands.

“You really need to think about your, no, our situation because either way we’re through. I can’t let you shag my friends as if I mean nothing to you. I thought we had something special but apparently not. But if Tridwell decides he has more information about us and is more than happy to expose it to everyone then I guess we’ll be pariahs for ever.”

“But we can’t let him win because it’s not true.”

“Well if you’re prepared to take him on, good luck. I don’t think I dare.” He turned to go back to his meeting. “Seriously Jason,” he sounded very serious, “I’d think carefully about just what will come out if you try and defend yourself. I can guarantee he’ll make sure it sticks.”

“Well what should I do?”

“That’s up to you but I know he won’t come back unless we’re both gone. I know I can get a transfer but not sure about you.

“What about us?”

“There is no us now... you’ve made sure of that.”

“Please,” I pleaded but he just walked away.

#

Shortly after that conversation I was back in HR and crying as Mrs Garfield did her best to comfort me. She wasn’t quite as understanding as last time and I noticed the tissues weren’t offered like before. I wept as I tried to speak.

“What should I do?”

“Well Jason it’s up to you. If you think you’re being unfairly treated then of course there’s nothing to stop you fighting his version of events.”

“Will the firm back me?” I appealed.

“Mmm, that’s difficult Jason. The company would rather this just went away. Mr Tridwell has set out what he wants but it’s up to you to decide if you want to take him to task over his allegations. Personally, I’m not sure you’d survive the upset and I doubt the company would be best pleased... although they wouldn’t blame you if you did... but, look I can offer a solution.”

“Ohhh, what’s that?”

“You can resign.”

“But wouldn’t that say I was guilty of what that awful man is accusing me of?”

“Not necessarily. We can come up with an excuse for you deciding that the work here at Collins isn’t quite what you expected and wish to pursue other avenues and opportunities. We can offer you compensation of two months extra pay and really good references...”

She saw the tears running down my face.

“So, even though he’s telling a pack of lies... it’s me that has to go?” I sobbed at the injustice of it all.

Mrs Garfield didn’t say anything because I think the answer was obvious.

“Look, I’ve typed up this letter, all you have to do is sign it and the entire thing disappears.”

“Yes but that means I have to disappear as well.”

Again Mrs Garfield said nothing just pushed a pen towards the letter lying on the desk.

“Look Jason, there is a case that you are still on probation as you haven’t been here six months but, to keep it all quiet, and to show we understand your position...”

I wasn’t coping very well as a huge roar of anguish escaped into the room, which took Mrs  Garfield by surprise. She patted my hand but it wasn’t like before, it was timid and lacked any empathy other than she wished this meeting would come to an end.

“It would be for the best and of course nothing would follow you anywhere we’d see to that, but, there is a NDA notice and an agreement of no come back on the company.” She mentioned all this as if that was a splendid solution to this terrible situation.

Although I could tell it was all aimed at what was best for Collins UK I didn’t feel I had much choice. Especially if they decided that I was incompetent and just sacked me as I was still in my probationary period. They were offering me a way out and wanted to appear fair with their offer so I knew the decision had already been made. If I wanted to contest this I’d get very little support from anyone at the firm. Not only that but could feel my bum just about to add to the piss already warming my nappy and just wanted out of there.

I grabbed the pen and signed my name.

I heard a deep relieved sigh from the head of HR who countersigned it.

“I think you’re doing the right thing Jason. Very grown up and we’ll send things along once we’ve sorted out everything else out.”

I assumed that was getting Tridwell to agree that it had gone as he wanted and his reinstatement would be instant. I was sure there’d be quite a lot of people dreading his return but of course that was no longer a concern of mine.

“Is that it?” I queried through teary eyes. “Is that my career over?”

“Let’s just say you’re finding new opportunities shall we?”

“Well, I’ll just empty my locker and...”

“Yes, erm, security will accompany you and see you exit the building but, if you don’t mind Jason, I need your pass.”

She held out her hand as I gave it to her and out of the corner of my eye I saw Harry from security standing at the door.

“Please make sure Jason clears the building without any contact with other members of staff please Harry.”

“Righto Missus,” Harry agreed in his broad Yorkshire accent. “No stopping for a chat, eh?”

Within two minutes I’d collected my things, hadn’t been able to say good-bye to anyone and on the pavement heading for the bus stop. This was not how I expected the day to go... and my nappy was thick and heavy.

# tbc #

[BabySerenity]

Well looks like Jason is on his way to a permanent babyhood!!

However, he shouldn’t have kept what happened with Toms friend a secret!! 

[Eagle0769]

And to grandmas house. 
That was a great chapter but what a terrible ending. Feel so sorry for him. 

[maly]

Wow! Thats quite the turn round of events for Jason.

Thanks.

Maly.

[wetdiaper55]

Off to grannys house .That will be great. The  girl,s can baby him 

[Les Lea]

Granny's house - is this just what a lad like Jason needs??

[Les Lea]

Part 22

It wasn’t even noon and I was standing out on the street and looking up at a company I’d been so excited about joining. Now it was a forbidding tower that I had no access to. Inside were my ex-boyfriend and a group of people I’d enjoyed working with but who I wasn’t allowed to say good-bye to, I’m sure that alone would get the chatter going. I remembered what it was like when Tridwell went and now it was going to be my turn to suffer the barbs and gossip. Tom had made it clear that I’d messed up and it was at that point I became aware of the mess sitting in the seat of my pants. God it had been a very stressful couple of hours.

Thankfully I knew I had on my thickest and tightest rubber pants (it was as if I’d unwittingly equipped myself for what was about to happen) so there was very little smell and, if I didn’t spread my legs too far apart, it would look normal as I walked. That was going to be hard to do. I also wasn’t looking forward to sitting on a bus full of people knowing I’d filled my nappy. Unfortunately I had no option but tried to find a seat well away from anyone else.

The ride home seemed to take ages and a couple of people who sat next to me stayed for only a stop or two before they found somewhere else to sit. I wish I could have whipped out my dummy and found some solace in that but I didn’t want to draw further attention to myself.

I suppose I could have taken a taxi, but that would have meant explaining the possible smell in such a confined space or I could have walked. Not with a nappy full of... well... it was too far anyway.

So, on the bus I had time to contemplate a few things. The fact I no longer had a job, and the jobbie that was squishing around in my nappy. I’d been out manoeuvred on the first thing but on the second... nnnhh.

The fact was I’d stopped really worrying about wetting my padding. I wore a nappy and more often than not I’d wet it and not realise I was doing so. However, a greater problem was that I appeared to be messing more as well, which I really hated. It appeared that because I wore such underwear my mind had forgotten to send any signals to my bladder so I just leaked like I did when I was asleep. I had no idea why that should be happening but I was going through disposables at a great rate. Just as well mum insisted I wore reusable fabric nappies to sleep in.

I eventually arrived home and mum was surprised to see me.

“Hello love...” then she saw my face crease up as the tears fell, “what on Earth’s happened?”

“I’ve been sacked and Tridwell’s been reinstated.”

“Oh love, surely they can’t do that?” She hugged and held me close.

“Well, they have and that’s an end to it. I’ve had to sign some forms but... that’s the end of my...” I burst in to even bigger sobs.

“Oh sweetheart,” she patted my well-filled padding. “I think we need to get you into something nicer than this.” She turned me around and guided me upstairs to the bathroom.

“OK sweetheart, it’s been a trying day so leave it to me to get you sorted eh?”

I desperately wanted mum to take charge. So, like a toddler, just stood there as she stripped me down to my unpleasant undies, released them and guided me under the shower.

She tossed the offensive disposable in the bin and then set about cleaning me up. She was of course thorough but I did enjoy it when she shampooed my hair and gently rubbed it into my scalp. She used the foam as it rolled down my body to softly sponge me clean. Once satisfied that she couldn’t get me any more sanitary wreathed me in a nice big warm towel and proceeded to dry me with vigorous rubbing and gentle pats where needed.

The tears had dried up but I felt exhausted and just wanted to get into bed and wish the whole day away. Naked I made my way to get under the sheets but mum had other ideas first. I was guided to lay out on one of my extra thick fleecy fabric nappies and waited a moment.

“Let’s get you into this nice comfy nappy but before that we need the basics.”

Of course that comprised copious amount of anti-rash cream rubbed into every crevice and vulnerable spot, followed by the sweetest rain of talc that was equally liberally distributed over those susceptible areas. If I’d been in a better place mentally I would have chuckled through it all but the sting of what happened meant I couldn’t enjoy it as much as I normally would.

However, mum’s soft ministrations and obvious devotion to my welfare were having an effect on my mood. Even the soft fabric under my bum was telling me I was home and loved and to let go of all the negativity. I took a deep breath.

“Thanks mum.”

She just smiled and nodded and, for the moment at least, there was no need for words.

#

It felt wonderful to be looked after by mum who was so caring and knew exactly what I needed and what needed to be done. She tightly pinned me in and then grabbed a pair of pale blue rubber pants that had a lovely glossy sheen to them, which she inched up and made sure all the material was safely inside the slippery fabric.

“Right love, I’m going to let you sleep for as long as you want,” she slipped my dum-dum between my lips, “and you just come down when you feel up to it.”

I knew that meant we were going to talk but she wasn’t putting any pressure on me and for that I was grateful. I’d only filled her in on the bottom line but I’m not sure she’s going to be happy about the rest of the tale... or indeed, what Tridwell had been planning to do. However, as far as I was concerned, I’d signed my options away and that was an end to it. To me, my venture into the world of being grown up, having a job and being responsible had fallen at the first hurdle. I was still a little kid in an adult world and had a great deal to learn.

Even though all this turmoil was going on in my head I felt absolutely knackered and just wanted to drift off. As I huddled under the covers I felt safe, comfy and loved because mum lay out next to me and gently stroked my hair. Had I been a cat I think I would have purred in contentment but as it was I slipped effortlessly into a deep and untroubled sleep.

#

Two hours later I woke up quite refreshed. I slipped a hand under my glossy pants and found I was dry. I lay there for a few minutes wondering if I was up to facing mum and telling her everything that happened.

Oh hell, my head was filling with all the stuff I was happy to leave behind but knew the sooner mum and I had that chat, the sooner it will be to get over it. Well, that’s what I hoped.

The firm rubber pants were holding up my fleecy nappy quite well as I toddled down to the living room where mum was sat at her laptop.

“Hi love, sleep well?” I saw her smile and nod even though I was just standing there wearing just a thick nappy and rubber pants.

“Yes thanks,” I hoped to lift the mood a little, “ordering more nappies?” I cheekily asked.

“Already done that sweetheart,” she beckoned me over. “Just looking up company law and the rights of employees...”

“Yes, about that mum... look... I don’t want to go into too much detail...” In fact, I was planning to leave everything out since she’d left for Granny’s including Tom going off to work elsewhere, my dalliance with Terry and my embarrassing meeting with Barnsy, although I suspect those were the only points that Tom would remember.

“But sweetie if you feel you’ve been unfairly dismissed...”

“I have but, I was still officially under my six months probationary period so, if they wanted, they could just have said it wasn’t working and that was that.”

“Well that’s not right...” Mum was in her investigative mode and obviously had an abundance of facts to support her case, she was like that.

“Mum please, what’s done is done and... me and Tom have split up so...”

“Oh sweetheart how awful and you seemed so excited about having a boyfriend... do you want to talk about that? Oh sorry love, is that why you’re leaving?”

“It’s a few things that have happened recently mum but the main one was that Tridwell was planning on taking legal action against the company for Vexatious Dismissal, whatever that is.”

Mum looked a little surprised at that but I continued.

“He’d come up with a story that put both Tom and me in a bad light, accusing us of conspiring together to get him fired. It’s not true of course but unfortunately it would bring a lot of other stuff to the surface that, all though completely deniable, would leave a nasty stain on both our characters.”

“Oh!”

“Sorry mum, but, they’ve offered to pay me off and give good references - I suppose to keep any bad publicity from affecting the company. Once all the points were laid out I signed the form so... I’m gone.”

“But didn’t you have any representatives with you?”

“Mum, please just drop it. I’ve made my decision and I think it would be too painful to work there and see Tom every day... or Tridwell if it comes to that.”

I didn’t like to admit that my being gone was one of his demands before his reinstatement.

“OK love, I understand.” She closed her laptop and pulled me in for a cuddle. “Oh Jason what a terrible time you’ve had and all this whilst I’ve been away?”

“Mum you’ve had other things on your plate and to be honest, this had nothing to do with you being at Grans.”

“Maybe so but I’ve neglected my little baby and so...”

“Mum please, don’t make it any worse by me feeling guilty about you feeling guilty... I’m guilty enough for us both.”

She giggled and hugged even tighter plus of course she patted my well-padded bottom.

“OK,” she conceded, “I’m sure there’s more to the story... and no doubt you’ll tell me when you’re ready BUT, I don’t like the fact that I neglected my little boy so I need to put that right.”

“But mum.”

“Ssshhhh now... mummy’s going to make us something to eat and then we’ll have a lovely relaxing night in front of the TV, OK?”

“OK, thanks mum.” She raised her eyebrows as if she was about to tell me off. So, playing along with her ‘mummy’ reference, “Sowwy, fank oo mummy.” I said with a jokey childish lisp.

“My pleasure baby boy.”

At that moment, that’s all I wanted to be.

#

Mum must have known from the way I was dressed to the way I was reacting that losing my job and boyfriend had set me back quite some way. I hadn’t thought twice about coming down from my afternoon nap wearing anything other than what I had on. I hadn’t searched for pants or even a t-shirt I’d just arrived in the front room exactly the way I’d been put to bed - like a toddler. As I’d wandered down stairs, the gentle rustle of plastic and the soft bulk hugging each step had been all I needed to know I was home - safe, treasured and protected.

Whilst mum was in the kitchen whipping up something incredible I curled up in front of the TV though wasn’t really watching anything of any substance just a set of cartoons that filled the screen. They kept me entertained and didn’t feel the need to search the channels for anything else.

“Are you OK sitting there without any pants sweetie?” Mum just checking I was aware in case anyone called but in truth I couldn’t have cared less if we had visitors or not. I was surrounded by my mother’s love and a soft snug nappy so that was all I needed.

Mum cooked up a very tasty ham tagliatelle in a rich creamy sauce which we sat at the table to enjoy. She’d even got out one of my sippy cups which had apple juice in it and wrapped a bib around my neck.

“Don’t want any hot sauce dripping on your chest now do we,” she’d said as she fastened it with a flourish.

As it was I didn’t spill any but was thankful for the sippy cup as I did somehow manage to knock it over. Mum must have got bibs when she ordered all the other stuff, but I was still surprised by suddenly having one secured around my neck.

After we’d washed up we curled up in each other’s arms and sat and watched some television. I couldn’t tell you what we saw because I spent most of the time with my eyes closed and the sound just seemed like a pleasant droning noise that had me slipping in and out of consciousness.

#

Mum was patting my bum when she woke me up and said its ‘nappy change and bed time for one sleepy little guy’. I hadn’t realised I’d soaked my lovely padding but now I was awake I became aware of the dampness.

“Up those stairs baby and I’ll be in to supervise your nappy in a moment.”

I wandered up feeling the sag and although quite sleepy thought it felt nice and squishy. I giggled to myself with each squelchy step.

Once in my bedroom I wasn’t sure if I should start without mum but of course felt I’d need to lose the nappy and clean up a little before she arrived, it wasn’t fair to leave everything to mummy...erm... mum.

Although I usually slept in fabric nappies I wondered if I could wear one of my plush, thick disposables with the unicorns all over them. When Billy and Mark had been around we’d all admired them and thought they should take pride of place when we visited the Queen... if we ever got invited to a sleepover at the palace that is.

I fished it out of the box and found a pair of lovely slinky glass-like plastic pants as cover but it would be down to mum on whether she’d allow it. She always thought fabric padding was better for a good night’s sleep.

Anyway mum arrived at my bedroom door just as I was wiping my privates down with a damp cloth.

“Oh sweetheart, you should have left all this to me. I’m not going to neglect my little boy ever again... so here... you drink this whilst I finish off getting you ready for beddy-byes.

She presented me with a baby’s bottle full of warm milk. I wasn’t expecting her to take this babying that far but as I was about to ask for my dummy, this was a nice replacement. Mum took the washcloth from me and cleaned me up and did all the other things a boy in need of a nappy needs. I pointed to the unicorn disposable and she beamed.

“Is this what my little soldier wants to sleep in tonight?” She teased fluffing it in front of my face.

“Yes please.” I said eyeing the full bottle of my nicely warm drink.

“And with these plastic pants?” She held up and gave them a tug to make sure they were tough enough.

I nodded as I lay out and let the teat slip between my lips for the first reassuring taste of my milky treat.

“Why not.” She conceded re-fluffing the disposable, “I think my baby has had a tough day so he should have a lovely night’s sleep with his little friends leaping around his little willie.” She tickled my tummy and I giggled in delight.

Before long I was oiled, powdered and taped in with the plastic pants pulled up high.

“Now sweetheart, finish your bottle and don’t worry about a thing. Mummy’s here to make sure everything is going to be all right and my baby has nothing to be anxious about.”

She was pushing this ‘baby’ thing but I was really enjoying it and loved being her little baby boy.

She kissed my forehead and wished me night-night before turning off the light and leaving me to the gentle sucking rhythm as I slowly emptied the bottle.

I lay there for a while enjoying the full padded feel of my nappy. I was thinking about what mum had said and began to imagine those little unicorns gambling around all over the soft fabric. I wriggled in contentment; I may have lost my job and a boyfriend but like Saturday morning with Billy and Mark, being wrapped in a thick nappy and thinking about such silly possibilities, I wished they were here now. However, a yawn overtook my thinking and I dropped into a dream world of no dreams... or if I had one I certainly didn’t remember it.

#

Come the morning and things were back to normal except it wasn’t because I didn’t have to get up for work. I was surrounded by various stuffed animals, including my old teddy bear which was in bed with me. I assumed at some point mum must have come in and removed the empty bottle and substituted the bear. I know it had been there a while because its well-worn ear was sopping with drool as I used to nurse on it when I was teething... and more as I got older. However, as normal, my nappy was soaked and I lay wondering how I was going to spend the day. Teddy looked a bit fed up but I was really pleased knowing he’d shared my bed. I rested him in the corner with a couple of other stuffies and began to remember the fun I used to have with these inanimate friends. I looked over at the clock and it was just after nine so mum had let me sleep in but I could hear movement downstairs.

I lay there for a few more moments before deciding I should get up and at least start the day even if I had no idea what to do. I couldn’t call on Billy and Mark as they’d be at school and then the idea of seeing friends and having to explain why I wasn’t at work made me think twice about going out at all.

However, mum popped her head round the door.

“Ah sweetie you’re awake. Look I’ve cooked some bacon and scrambled eggs so why not come down and we can plan our day.”

“I think I need to change...”

“Nonsense love, come down now while it’s hot and I’ll change you after.”

I think mum was beginning to like seeing me about the house wearing nothing but a nappy and I wasn’t averse to it either. So, I sat at the table and she’d cooked the streaky bacon very crispy just as I liked it. The eggs were scrambled to a ‘delightful consistency’, which is how I jokingly described them as we both tucked in. Again there was a sippy cup with orange juice in and the pile of bacon disappeared pretty quickly because I was very hungry and this was one of my favourite meals. Mum knew how to get my day off to a flying start.

#

A little later back in the bathroom mum released me from my damp unicorn heaven and made me shower. When finished I ambled back to my room to see all the clothes laid out for the day. It looked like we must be going somewhere because there was more than just a nappy waiting.

Mum came in, “Right sweetie, let’s get you into a nappy and then... well... I think we need to go on a little journey.”

I wasn’t sure what that meant but was a little reluctant to ask in case she said To Collins UK so I tentatively let her organise everything.

She’d decided on one of my thick blue disposables and a pair of robust blue rubber pants, a matching blue onesie which fastened between my legs and pulled the padding up high against my crotch. Then she slipped a beige polo shirt with a blue stripe around the middle over my head before adding a pair of blue linen shorts. As I looked in the mirror I wasn’t sure if mum had dressed me like this accidentally or on purpose because I looked like Billy and Mark.

“Mum,” I queried, “I look like I could be Billy and Mark’s brother.”

“Really dear, I hadn’t noticed,” but I could tell from the way she’d said that she certainly knew what she was doing. “Well I think you look very smart and so do the boys when I see them out and about so... perhaps...?”

She left it like that but there was a knowing look which I took to mean “I thought you’d be pleased with the outfit”, which of course, after the initial shock, I suppose I was.

However, things were getting weird if mum was dressing me like them and their parents made them wear nappies because of me.

The other thing I noticed was that this particular look was ‘flattering’ in another way... it made me look a good deal younger. Mum had liked the new short haircut from the beginning and had made a fuss about how cute I looked with a side parting and then a nice little quiff.  So when I got out of the shower, whilst it was still wet, she combed it into that style and kept touching it up with a quick flick of the comb. She always looked satisfied when she’d got it just the way she liked it. Although my birthday was less than three weeks away at that moment I think I could have passed quite easily for a fourteen year old, Mark’s age.

Anyway, one thing I did gather from the way I was dressed was that I doubted very much that mum would take me back to work looking like a school kid but still had no idea where we were going.

As we went out to the car mum looked pretty in a pair of black slacks and a rather fleecy half-zipped blue top and I was feeling happily snug the way I’d been dressed.

“Where are we going?” I felt able to ask as she turned on the ignition.

“We’re off to see Granny and your aunt... we’ve a few things to sort out and I think you need to be there to add your voice.”

I looked a bit anxious at this news and felt a little of the orange juice I’d had for breakfast dribble into my fresh nappy.

“Oh, erm, do we have to make a decision today?”

“Not today love, but Granny is insistent that she wants us with her and, as far as she’s concerned, the sooner the better.”

“But what about wor...” Oh yes, I don’t have work any more so the verdict might already have been agreed. “Do I really have a say mum or are you just pretending I have?”

“Oh sweetheart, um, Granny wants you to want to be there... and preferably by your nineteenth birthday...”

“But that’s just a few days away...”

“Well, nineteen days to be exact.” Mum smiled at the symmetry of numbers. “However, I gave all the arguments to her before I left at the weekend. The thing is... yesterday I brought her more up to date on your circumstances.  She thinks that now would be a great time to start again but wants to speak to you directly so you know why she’s so keen.”

I shook my head and sighed. “She’s going to say she’s old and dying or some such crap and that she needs me around for some ridiculously bogus reason.”

“Now you don’t know that and I think you’re being a little unfair on mum. She has your best interests at heart and I’d be grateful if you listened to her without pre-judging...”

“It sounds to me that I don’t have a choice.” I grumbled, now completely unhappy with everything. However, I got the feeling that decisions had already been agreed so it was just really to convince me. At least I’d get to voice my worries... and that led to another spurt of pee. Thank heaven I was wearing one very thick and thirsty disposable.

# tbc #

[Eagle0769]

"Over the hills and threw the woods to Grandmas and Aunties house we go".

I know it is not that type of story but maybe one of them will give him something all babies need

to change his mine to live with them.

Great chapter by the way. Can't wait for the next one ?

[Les Lea]

Hi Eagle0769

Yes not quite a fairytale but Jason is going to have to do quite a bit of adapting if he's staying in Grandma's house.

Glad you're enjoying the ride... there's a bit more to come yet.

Hugs ?

[dondd]

Thanks @Les Lea.  You keep me in eager anticipation, awaiting the next chapter! That is not a commentary on your post frequency, but rather a compliment on your writing!  

[maly]

Me thinks he may become the family baby again.

Thanks.

Maly.

[BabySerenity]

4 hours ago, maly said:

Me thinks he may become the family baby again.

Thanks.

Maly.

I would hope so!! 

[wetdiaper55]

I do really love reading this story.....I am always looking forward to the next chapter?

[Les Lea]

Part 23

Granny’s house is quite a large affair up in the Lake District. It sits proudly on a small hill in the countryside overlooking a huge lake. The views are tremendous, fields down to the water’s edge and in the background lofty peaks and forest. Meanwhile, there’s a little winding road which feeds the few other houses in the area. Where dad used to live is about a hundred yards further along but it’s changed a lot since those days. The nearest village is about a mile down that road and another five miles takes you into the nearest town, which gets packed with tourists almost all year round.

It’s still a family home so there are plenty of rooms and I never quite understood why, after there was just her and aunty, Gran didn’t sell up and find somewhere smaller and easier to maintain. I suppose as it is the place where she and Grandad brought up their family then sentiment alone would make her want to stay, and the views of course. Maybe she foresaw the fact that we’d all be together again but I don’t know how.

I have my own room, as does mum, when we visit. The place is vast because on the ground floor is a large kitchen, two spacious reception rooms, a cloakroom with shower and toilet facilities and a huge conservatory leading out into the substantial garden. Upstairs there are two large en-suite bedrooms with balconies and views out to the lake, a family bathroom and three further large bedrooms. I have one in the back over-looking the garden. There’s an attic used for storage and a huge basement that Granddad had used as a games den. However, since he’s been long dead, it had just gathered more storage and rubbish, which was a shame because as a kid I always found it a fantastic place to play.

Anyway, as we neared the drive my anxiety levels increased but Granny was waiting with a welcoming smile in the doorway.

“My, my sweetheart,” she started as she hugged and patted my soggy bottom through my linen shorts. I think she was going to say I’d grown, or looked older or some such thing but decided against it. “I’ve missed you,” and kissed the top of my head.

“Same here Granny,” but my heart wasn’t in it.

I was still in Granny’s surprisingly strong embrace as she continued to pat my bum.

“Mmm, your mother said you were still in nappies so why don’t we get you into something dry first and then we can have a lovely meal your aunt’s preparing and have a little chat, mmm?”

Reluctantly I was led inside and nothing had changed except I was surprised to see how fit and healthy Gran was. It was only a couple of weeks ago that she was badly hurt and found it impossible to get around but now, well, she could have fooled me. Perhaps that had been her plan all along; get mum there, feed her enticements and then... well... I have no idea but this was looking more and more like a scam on Gran’s part. She may be knocking on the octogenarian door but was as trim, alert as anything and appeared full of life.

Aunt Jane poked her head around the corner from the kitchen. “Hi there Jason, glad you decided to visit... we’ve missed you.” She said with her usual large welcoming smile. “Love the new haircut.”

“Oh hi aunty... yes, thanks, it’s been a while.” As she was in the middle of something she quickly disappeared back and Gran took over.

“OK love,” she spoke to mum, “why don’t you go and help your sister with lunch and I’ll sort this one out.”

“But mum...” I was horrified that Granny should suggest such a thing. I didn’t want her changing my nappy but mum wandered into the kitchen where I heard sisterly greetings, whilst Gran directed me towards the stairs.

#

I love Granny but she hadn’t changed my nappies since I was about four and I wasn’t keen on her re-establishing that chore. She led me towards the stairs but we stopped at the old oak panelled door next to them that led to the basement.

“You know Gran, I can do it myself... I.... erm... don’t...” I stammered.

Smiling she opened the squeaky access and told me to follow her. I don’t know why she didn’t turn on the light as I sheepishly followed, taking slow and deliberate steps down each creaking stair. Eventually we got to the bottom and she pulled on a hanging piece of chord that lit up the entire space. It was like a wonderland, well, a wonderland for a big kid.

Taking up a central position was the bed with pale blue covers, surrounded by a ledge of toys, books and a variety of stuffed animals. A huge play area had an electric train set up and a large racetrack mat for toy cars dominated another area (I told you it was a large room). The lighting was rather nice as well with fairy-lights draped across the ceiling and a projector that aimed a beam of stars moving over the bed. Some of the walls had posters of old Disney movies which looked pretty good. There were a series of sliding mirrored door wardrobes and several sets of drawers, one of which had steps leading up to what appeared to be a thick changing pad. Above that were several shelves of nappies and disposables and a rack of nicely hanging plastic pants in all styles. Above them were two ground level windows looking onto the garden and next to the padded bench was a large deep sink with hot and cold taps. Off in the right hand corner was a new glass construction, which I could see was a shower unit.

“Well sweetie,” she took my hand and guided me towards the little steps, “up you get and let’s get you out of that wet nappy.”

“But, but, what is this place?” I was gobsmacked but still climbed the little steps to lie out.

“It’s where we change our wet and messy baby boy...”

“But, I’m a, ummm, but, I ermmm,” I didn’t want this to happen but there was no way I would fight Granny.

She was already pulling down my shorts and releasing the little metal press-studs on the onesie. “Now sweetheart, just relax and let Granny do what she’s failed to do for a few years now and that’s look after her sweet Grandchild.”

I was about to speak again, why Grandchild and not Grandson? but she produced a dummy from her pocket and, with very little resistance, slipped it between my lips.

“There, there now, you just nurse on that and the world will be a much better place and let me get on with changing this lovely but absolutely sodden disposable.” She saw just how wet I’d become, which in my general anxiety about the day hadn’t helped the flow at all.

She wriggled down the blue cover and released the tabs. The ledge above the mat seemed well equipped with things in easy reach as she grabbed some wipes and set to work. I lay back and stared at the ceiling which had a host of happy cartoon characters smiling back down at me - all appeared to be wearing puffy nappies.

She pushed up my onesie but the cooling wipes must have been medicated or had menthol because when she wiped my willy and balls a cool shiver ran through my body. I let out a little squeal behind the dummy.

She looked down and smiled but continued with what she had to do.

“You know sweetheart, your daddy loved this room when he and your Granddaddy used to play snooker down here. It was where they bonded and then when you came along, they both couldn’t wait for a time when you’d join them in a game.”

She seemed excited as she told me this tale, which incidentally I’d not heard before.

I looked over at where I remembered the snooker table used to be but the train set now occupied that space.

“However, your daddy noticed something about you that no one else saw... you were your own person. From an early age your daddy would not make you do anything he let you make your own decisions and guarded your freedom to live life how you wanted.”

I looked up confused.

“Your daddy was a very clever and perceptive man, completely unlike your Granddaddy, who lived by his own ideas, but no, no, no not your father. When Grandad wanted to send you off to private school and insisted that it was the best place for a proper education, your father said a definite “NO”. He didn’t want others to shape you into being a certain way; he wanted you to find what made you happy and follow that path.”

I still wasn’t getting it.

“Jason sweetheart, this is you.” She swept her hand over the basement and all that was in it. “It’s taken a while for us all to cotton on to what your father meant. Your mum was on board very early on but the rest of us, well, it’s taken some time to catch up. This is your room and I hope you want to stay and enjoy what we can offer. You’ll not lack love and attention that’s for sure. If you want friends to come and stay, well there’s enough room for a small army down here. If you want to change it somehow... it’s up to you. I just want you around because I missed appreciating just what your father meant.” There was a brief sigh as she caught her breath. “I don’t want to miss the unique person you’ve become.”

I took out my dummy and looked her in her watery eyes, “But Granny, what have I become?” I wasn’t sure she got what had happened to me over the past few of months. “I’ve lost a job, I got a man sacked, and I lost a very good friend...”

“Your boyfriend?” She smiled knowingly.

Mum seemed to have told her everything.

“Yes, but...”

“Look love. You’ve been through a lot but we’ve discussed this and come to the conclusion you simply aren’t ready yet to be a grown up... and there’s absolutely no reason for you to.”

I was about to protest my independence but Granny went to the cupboard under the sink and I saw there were two plastic bins there. She slipped the used disposable into the blue one and I wondered what the other green one was for.

“Look, you’ve had a love for nappies and dummies for as long as I can remember. Your mother says that they mean even more to you these days than ever before. In fact, she says, you wear a nappy all the time now and haven’t worn underpants for quite some time.”

“Erm...” I was trying to think which part of what Granny was saying I could deny - I couldn’t. Mum did know me way better than I knew myself and perhaps all these little ‘nudges’ had been for me to realise this was what I wanted.

In my head I was screaming “No” but the thing was there were times when it all seemed to be pretend – the job, the boyfriend, my life in general. The only time it wasn’t... was when I was wearing a nappy and mum was around or, and this was a revelation, I was in the company of Billy and Mark.

Granny saw a worrying frown take over my face.

“Sweetheart no one is having a go. What we want is for you to be happy with who you are because we’re happy with who you are. If you like being a toddler and live in what I think your mum calls ‘little space’ then that’s fine. If you want to be a nineteen year old...” she looked doubtful, “then that’s what we’ll treat you as. We just don’t want you thinking you have to be one thing when you so patently prefer something else. As your father insisted, what he wanted most from his son was for him to be himself... and that’s what we want as well... you to be who you are.

#

Little Space?

Those two words were buzzing around my head. What did mum mean by living in my ‘little space’? Is that what she called it when I enjoyed the more childish aspects to wearing nappies and sucking on my dum-dum? Had mum made the term up or had she, like was often the case, sat at her laptop and researched... well... me and what I liked?

I looked around what was now apparently going to be my bedroom and I have to say, I did love most aspects of it. I suppose the stacks and stacks of nappies was what mum meant when I joked about her ordering more and she replied “Already done”. Mum is an enigma in her own right but she seems to have brought Gran and her sister into our world without too much trouble.

Gran fluffed out a disposable but I wasn’t taking too much notice because my mind was re-living the absolute best time I’d had in ages – Billy, Mark and me just having fun. I wondered at the time if it wouldn’t be the best way to live my life, with two guys who were as daft as I was... or at least appeared to be. It was true the nappies were the catalyst but what if they were exactly like me? What if ‘little space’ was real and we all could meet there or was ‘little space’ a euphemism for something else... it made me think.

Meanwhile, Granny had fitted me tightly in a very nice, thick rainbow disposable with matching shiny pvc pants. She’d then refastened to clasps of my onesie so all was held up tight and then eased up my shorts.

“There baby, and I bet lunch is ready... shall we go?”

I eventually found my voice.

“Granny, you must have spent a fortune on doing this place out and I can’t thank you enough but...”

“I know love,” she sighed a little as if understanding I had objections. “You’ve got your own life at home but, as you’ve so recently discovered things change very quickly. Here you wouldn’t have that worry because there are three of us who just want to look after you.”

“But that’s what I mean. You want to look after me... I don’t get a choice... this is not what dad would have wanted at all.”

“I think you’re wrong Jason. I think your daddy knew exactly what you needed and that was to have a safe and secure environment where you could be just who you are.”

“But, but, ermmmm...”

“Look, let’s go and see what your aunt has prepared and then we can discuss it all together afterwards. But,” she smiled, “I’m glad you like your room I think it’s what you need... a safe place to play.” She picked up my dummy and slipped it back into her pocket.

As we headed for the kitchen my nappy and cover creaked slightly as we climbed the noisier stairs up from the basement. Granny had added an extra soaker pad so my walking was a bit more of a waddle but still the thick padding did feel comfortable. She certainly knew how to fit a nappy.

#

The two sisters were sitting at the table chatting with a huge bowl of Spaghetti Bolognese steaming in the centre. They both had excited looks on their faces as I shuffled up and took my seat.

“Well?” Mum was quickly in with her question.

I knew she was keen for me to excitedly tell her I was sold but in truth, I still had some doubts.

“Yes, it’s all very nice and cosy and... well... looks ready for a boy to have fun.”

“Good, good... do you think you could be happy here with that as your own space?” All eyes were on me but mum was asking the questions.

I think that they thought the room would be the clincher and that it was everything I wanted. Why they should have thought that I don’t know because I hadn’t been obsessed with toys and such for a long time (well, not that they knew anyway). However, what had crossed my mind was WHY?

Why had they chosen such a style and why had they been so convinced it would be something I liked? I did, but why had they thought I would?

I shrugged non-committally and asked if I could have some food please. There was a disheartened look on everyone’s face except mine. I was comfy and was about to have one of my (many) favourite meals, which I thanked aunty for making.

“My pleasure dear...”I think she was about to add that if I lived there such meals would be a regular feature but decided against that line of persuasion.

The meal was wonderful but this time there was no sippy cup just a glass of milk. I think I would have preferred a sippy cup. Something else I noticed, I spilled some sauce down my front and I heard mum say ‘I’ll have to remember a bib next time’...

#

As I ate and the general chat continued around me I got to thinking again. Had Granny only pretended to be ill to get mum to visit and then kept her there to see how I’d cope on my own. I began to suspect all manner of conspiracy theories but drew the line that Granny and Mr Tridwell were in cahoots to get me sacked... although I have to admit for a moment it crossed my mind. I’d become very suspicious of what Gran said because she looked so vital. However, later in the day I did see Aunt Jane hold her up as she stumbled a little walking to the living room. I also noticed there was an oxygen bottle at the side of Gran’s chair and as the day had worn on, there was no doubt her effort had taken its toll. I felt guilty for doubting her.

It was getting late and I still hadn’t agreed to the proposed new living arrangements. However, mum said that we’d stay the night and think about it and could see what I thought of my new basement bedroom.

Just out of curiosity I trundled up to my old bedroom and noticed it had been stripped of anything to do with me and was now a sort of guest room. It seemed cold and unfriendly so I found myself in the basement and playing with the toys. I’d been so engrossed in my games and imagination I hadn’t realised the hour when mum said it was time for bed and I should come back up and say goodnight to Gran and aunty.

Gran was ready for bed and was being helped upstairs by Aunty Jane. I kissed her goodnight and thanked her for the fabulous basement because in truth, even just a few hours down there on my own had been incredible fun.

“Night Gran,” she looked at me adoringly but I could tell the day had been a bit of a strain.

“Night love” there was a soft wheeze to her breathing as the effort of going up the stairs told me all was not well with Granny after all. “Sleep tight and hope you like the bedding, there’s a lovely soft fleecy blanket I recommend cuddling up to.” She smiled and then turned to continue her assent.

“Can I help?” I offered.

“That’s sweet of you dear,” Aunt Jane said, “but for the moment leave it to me.”

Mum called me over and checked if I was wet, I was and because I’d been having such a good time in the basement hadn’t noticed, again.

She smiled and shook her head. “C’mon baby, let’s get you ready for bed... it’s going to be exciting sleeping in your new bedroom.”

There, she’d let it slip, ‘my new bedroom’. So it was a foregone conclusion, we would be living here from now on.

#

Though I’d enjoyed playing in the basement I felt annoyed that what I actually thought was of no concern and my input was purely for effect. That annoyance made me do something I’d rarely done before and that was have a huge temper tantrum as mum led me to the basement. I refused to go.

“Stop this now.” Mum was reacting to my refusal to be part of any further deception.

“You said I had a voice but you lied.” I screamed back at her.

“Be quiet your Granny’s trying to get to sleep and...”

“Don’t give me that,” I spat back, “you and her have conspired to bring me here when I specifically said I didn’t want to come.”

“That’s not true...” but I could see mum wavering a little in her argument. “I brought you here because this is where you belong...”

“When I was a child...” I responded angrily.

“But Jason, that’s the point, in many ways you’re still a child.” She reached out to stroke my quiff that had fallen across my eyes.

I shook her away because I couldn’t believe she just said that.

“MUM!” I said astounded by such a comment.

She went over to the changing bench and just indicated the piles of nappies.

“All these are yours,” then pointed to the toys. “You’ve not had as much fun for ages playing without any worries with things you’d all but forgotten you actually like. Sweetheart... ”

As she indicated the various things around the room that I had, and still loved to have from my childhood, I began to think about my other life - a life of boyfriends and sex so I added that to the mix.

“You forget I had a boyfriend and we had fantastic sex so I’m not a little kid I’m a grown up with...” I spat it out as if challenging her preconceived ideas.

“I’ve no doubt you threw yourself into such grown up games and enjoyed them but you’re never happier than when with your friends and playing games.”

What did mum know? Did she think that I played at sex the same as I played in nappies? I wasn’t quite getting what was being inferred, or, was I just assuming something was being implied when it wasn’t?

“Look Jason I don’t like us arguing and certainly not shouting across the room at each other. We’ve not tried to con you into anything. All I’m saying is give it a chance and no one is suggesting that you can’t have friends, boyfriends or whatever, or be nineteen.” She patted the padded bench. “But at this moment you’re wearing a soaked nappy, its bed time and you’re a bit grouchy with me.” She smiled her winning smile and in truth I hated that I’d raised my voice to the main person in my life. “Now, I understand because it’s been such a hectic day with a lot to take in that you may feel overwhelmed. So, what I suggest is, we get you into a nice thick nappy for tonight and then, in the light of a new day, see if we can’t come to some agreement, OK?”

I so wanted to stamp my authority on this outburst but really I couldn’t keep it up with mum. She is everything to me and I have only ever known her do what was best... and yet, here I was, doubting and shouting at her. I had to stop and make things right.

I wandered over to the bench, climbed up on it for the second time that day and let her get me ready for bed. As always she did the job without any resentment and I was soon cleaned up and pinned into a nice large white fluffy cotton-rich nappy with a pair of Disney plastic pants pulled over them.

“Pyjamas or do you think you’ll be OK wearing just these?” she said patting my inflated shiny bum.

“It’s pretty warm down here so I think I’ll do.”

“I can never get over just how cute you look in nappies...”

“I like them as well and these plastic pants are great.” I said running my palm over the glossy surface.

“Special fun pants for a special fun guy.” Mum teased

“I’m not mushroom mum.” I quickly retorted, which brought out the most wonderful girlish giggle from her.

She kissed my forehead and brushed the hair from my eyes.

“I know it’s been a strange day love. In fact, it’s been a horrendous start to the week for you to take in but I want you to know that me, Gran and aunty all love you. You know that right?”

I nodded.

“We want nothing but what’s best for you but we want you to be happy... so... sleep on it tonight and let’s reassess tomorrow?”

She steered me over to my new bed and pulled back the covers. I was quite amazed at just how soft and fleecy the bedding was (teddy fleece mum called it) plus a welcoming, equally soft stuffed lion was already there, not one from home but a new one who looked friendly enough. There was also a very pink fleecy blanket folded to one side I ignored that and slipped in under this set of sensual blue sheets, pillows and duvet cover that sent shivers of pleasure around my body.

As I got comfy there was a slightly different crinkle than from my plastic pants so knew there was an extra piece of protection covering the mattress. Mum tucked me in and asked if I wanted my dum-dum. Actually, it felt like I was surrounded by an army of kittens and could quite happily have done with it but was still trying not to appear babyish so shook my head no. Which was silly because under such a soft embrace I’d never felt so wonderfully babyish and looked after. Where had all this cosiness come from and was it just to make me feel special, wanted and/or childish? I still was suspicious but warming to the situation.

Once she could see I was settled it was time for her to leave me to my thoughts.

“OK love, sleep tight.” She wished me goodnight and I heard the steps creaking as she made her way back upstairs. The fairy-lights looked nice as did the projection of stars and moons that slowly circled the ceiling above the bed. I surveyed the place one last time before I thought about sleep; this was a fantastic space for a boy with imagination.

She turned at the top of the stairs and looked down on not only me getting comfy but the colourful wonderland the ladies in my life had created.

“I love you sweetheart,” she whispered.

In that moment, any animosity there had been after our argument disappeared.

“Love you too mummy,” I replied with a shy wave.

# tbc #

[Pierry Louys]

Fantastic chapter ! Liked the way granny and his mommy shows what he really need ! And his is now torn between his lame adult life and his little boy life ! Very curious to see his response and the new dinâmic between the three women and a baby (just like a movie rsrs )

[maly]

A fait accompli, Destiny or some thing else?

Thanks.

Maly.

[wetdiaper55]

A wonderful chapter , love reading the story. Looking forward to more.

[Les Lea]

Thanks everyone I'm so glad you're all still enjoying Jason's little adventure. ?

He's pretty sure he's being railroaded into being something he isn't but is that just his imagination?

His mother needs to come clean as to the real reason they are moving back... and it isn't just because of guilt.

Just a few more chapters to go...

 

[Pierry Louys]

I think his mom has her motives so she can see her little boy happy 

[Eagle0769]

4 hours ago, Pierry Louys said:

I think his mom has her motives so she can see her little boy happy 

I hope this is true for Mommy, Auntie and even Grandma. I hope it goes all the way back to nursing him, bathing him, hugging him and feeding him. All 3 of them.

[Pierry Louys]

Totally 

[Les Lea]

Part 24

Although everything was nice, the bed comfortable, the lion cuddly, there was an awful lot still going on in my head so initially I just couldn’t drop off. The fact that I’d said “mummy” instead of “mum” played on my mind. I got out of bed and hoped I might amuse myself with the electric train set.

It was strange because although I’d never had one, it was something I always wanted and this took up quite a large area. It wasn’t just in a circle but had a couple of lines that led into tunnels and through stations and villages... it was quite the display. There were two trains on the tracks, one passenger the other goods and I was lost in watching them circle around, climb slight inclines and pass each other going in opposite directions. I was driver and station master, planner and passenger and made up stories to go with everything I did. It was like I wasn’t alone chatting with all these little model people who had places to go. I was completely enthralled as I was charged with the power to make things happen.

I don’t know how long I played with it but could feel my eyes drooping so eventually brought them back into the station and imagined a conversation between the drivers before I climbed back into bed. They’d said their own ‘good nights’ and were wandering back to their own families and friends. It had been an interesting departure from trying to sleep but now, as I returned to bed I unintentionally giggled in regards to the lovely soft furriness that greeted my return; it felt unbelievably tickly and luxurious.

I was aware of the mass of my nappy which hugged me and kept me pleasantly warm throughout my crawling around. It had been fun to scuttle from one thing to another making everything work, examine various bits of scenery and check the characters dotted around the track. I didn’t think I was wet but slipped a finger under the plastic to check and was relieved to find no sogginess. For some reason I felt remarkably proud that I hadn’t wet myself and glided under the duvet and hoped I’d be able to sleep.

I think I dozed for a while but began to toss and turn a little and decided to read. I got out of bed and went to check on what reading material was available but as I opened drawers and checked shelves I noticed the plethora of stuff that had been gathered for my enjoyment. The sliding wardrobes concealed a host of onesies, PJs, and colourful jumpers, shirts and t-shirts. Hanging up were dungarees, shorts and playsuits as well as jackets, fleeces and coats. One of the wardrobes was empty so I suppose that was for my belonging from home.  There was no doubt about it I was going to be moving here whether I wanted to or not. And although I was angry to begin with, I had to agree that they’d gone to an awful lot of trouble to make me feel welcome and entertained.

I sat in the middle of the race car track and pushed a couple of the super sports cars around as I thought of my situation. Other than Billy and Mark, there was very little to keep me at home and although I’d miss them terribly perhaps I should think about my family first. The strange thing was that once again, as I played with the toys, I felt I wasn’t by myself. There was a presence and I could imagine the boys enjoying this with me.

I’d noticed it from when Gran had turned on the light for the very first time and I saw what had been done, my heart lifted. It definitely wasn’t a room for a late teen but I didn’t care, what there was more to my liking than I thought possible.

I had no idea of time because there was no clock just all the coloured lights but I’d yawned a couple of times so hoped that this time, when I returned to my rather comfy bed, I’d get some sleep.

I cuddled the squishy lion and wished I hadn’t been so hasty in refusing the dummy; still I was hopeful as another huge yawn engulfed me that I’d peacefully slip into dreamland.

#

I woke up warm and cosy and sucking on the corner of the pink fleecy blanket, the lion amazingly having escaped my subconscious need to nurse. This teddy fleece bedding really does make you feel calm and loved; I just didn’t want to get up. Through the two windows opposite I could see a sunny morning had arrived but had no idea of the time. It didn’t matter because I could quite happily have stayed wrapped up like I was for the rest of the day. I ventured a hand over my slippery padding and unexpectedly it didn’t feel wet.

However, I could feel my stomach grumbling a little but I was just too comfortable to move. I wriggled a bit and felt my slippery pillow of protection slide about in a very reassuring way. To lie there was absolute heaven, never mind that when I got up there was tons of stuff for me to play with... back at home I still had my video games but the train and racetrack seemed far more fun. Perhaps that’s because for the moment they were a novelty but I had enjoyed myself in the dead of night just getting involved and letting my imagination run riot.

The pink fleecy blanket was sopping wet on the corner where I’d obviously spent quite some time sucking on it so I stretched out and swung it over the side of the bed to air out. In doing so one of its soft corners caught my nose and tickled it. I sneezed loudly but a moment later, and I have no idea if these actions were related, I let out a huge fart, that wasn’t just a fart and could feel myself filling my nappy with quite a flow of liquid poo.

Panicked I tried to clench but it was too late so quickly turned over onto my front hoping that somehow that would stem the tide. It didn’t and my bowel contracted further to force even more out. There was a lot. I don’t know how mum knew but she had me well-padded for just such an event and then, as if on cue, appeared at the top of the stairs.

#

“Morning baby, it’s 9:30, what would you like for breakfast?” She spoke loudly from her position looking down at me.

I’d just deposited what felt like a couple of gallons of mess into my nappy which was still busily trying to soak it all up.

“Are you awake love?” She asked warily and started down the creaking stairs.

I crawled out of bed backwards and ended up knelt at the side with my messy padded bum facing mum as she approached.

“Oh baby,” she came over and put a reassuring hand on my shoulder “another accident?”

I nodded into my fluffy fitted sheet as mum pulled free the duvet caught around my feet.

I sighed and turned to face her but I was quite embarrassed: Not that she hadn’t had to deal with this type of thing before, but that it had only just happened and was still feeling the nasty trickling effect soak everywhere.

Mum was soothing my back with soft caresses but I felt that a point had been made – I was still a messy little kid who needed looking after. I eventually turned round and faced her.

“Sorry.” I searched the floor for a place to disappear into.

She just shrugged and patted my now sagging nappy under the plastic pants which were struggling to keep it all in.

“That’s why you wear a nappy love and why you should never worry about wearing one.” She hugged me in support. “But shall we have a clean-up before breakfast?”

I nodded my agreement whilst being unhurriedly led to the changing table.

#

Mum stopped me from climbing up and laid an old towel out on the floor.

“Step on to that love,” I did as I was told.

Once she was sure no droplets would fall onto the carpet she pulled down the plastic pants and tossed them in the sink. Next she whistled at the saggy mess that confronted her but didn’t say anything. She released the pins and the entire mucky creation fell to the floor, I didn’t dare look at my handiwork. “Go take a shower baby and I’ll deal with this.”

So that’s what I did, I christened the new shower and although anyone could see me through the glass sides I wasn’t bothered I just wanted to get clean. I saw mum put the night time fabric nappy in the green bin so I suppose it was blue for disposables and green for eco-type fabric nappies. I didn’t think that particular nappy would be regarded as eco-friendly now.

After the shower she dried me down and had me lay out on the plastic padded mat on top of the unit. After applying the creams, lotion and powder there was a moment when she looked down at me and blew the most childish raspberry on my tummy. The noise was like the fart I’d done that produced the mess in the first place and a guilty giggle escaped my throat.

Mum was smiling as well.

“Do you remember just before you started work that you were in turmoil as to whether, with this change in your development, you should give up your pull-ups and dummy?”

I nodded because it was something I thought about on and off for some time. I joined in “You said that I didn’t need to as they were things that helped me over moments of stress.”

Mum nodded. “That’s true, you’ve always had anxiety issues and both those items have, in their own way, helped you through such times.”

I was lying there exposed although well-covered in a layer of sweet talc but mum had stopped the change to chat.

I gave a slight grimace. “I wondered if such things made me look like a child...”

“But baby they worked,” she interrupted.

I shrugged in agreement but wished she’d just get on with finding me a nappy.

However, it hardly seemed that long ago I was wearing pull-ups to bed, and then mum hit on the idea of Durable Slips (for the heavy wetter) to help with those regular nocturnal emissions.

“Anyway, your bedwetting was getting worse and so I introduced you to wearing a Durable Slip at night for more absorption...” It was as if she’d just read my mind. “For the...”

“Heavy wetter,” I finished their selling pitch.

We both chuckled.

#

“You took to them like a duck to water.” I couldn’t disagree. “In fact I think, because of the extra thickness, you wanted to wear them all the time.” Again I couldn’t disagree.

For a moment I saw her eyes searching the nicely folded piles of different disposables that were arranged on the shelf above where I was laying.

“Because of that I wondered if perhaps there was more to it than just liking the mass and, as I’d already seen all these fun styles of nappies online, and the amount of Durables you were getting through each week, whether it might be nice to get you something slightly different.”

I wriggled a little uncertainly on the plastic padded mat wishing she’d just choose a style and get me into it.

“I was happily surprised when you were even more enthralled by the wonderful cartoon styles and incorporated them into what you wanted to wear for work.” She reached for a thick pink disposable and began to fluff it out. “You know sweetheart, that link between your love of nappies got stronger, as did the enjoyment of the more juve... erm... youthful style.”

I wasn’t sure where she was going with this conversation but at least it looked like I was soon to be covered and my little naked willy and balls made comfy. I was glad about that but I had zoned out a little.

“... and you know sweetie, over the past few months or so, your desire for those nappies has increased to the point that you don’t really want to think of any other way of going to the toilet.” Was mum being serious? “Now, I don’t want you to see that as a criticism, just a fact, and a fact that I may have helped encourage.”

I was still naked except for a bit of powder and thought it a strange time to have any discussion when all I really wanted was to get that fresh nappy on and have some breakfast.

“At the moment I know that all you’re really interested in is which nappy I’m going to put you in.”

“And have breakfast,” I added as a joke.

“Maybe but it’s the nappy which is important because that’s how you now identify yourself... the boy who wears nappies.”

“And eats breakfast,” I thought it was funny to joke with her.

“Yes, OK, and the boy who likes breakfast,” she conceded. “But, if I slipped you into a pair of these,” she held up a pair of briefs (I had no idea where she’d got them from as only moments before she was holding a disposable), I suspect, no, I know, you’d not be happy about it, or enjoy wearing them.”

“Yes, well it’s your fault you got me into these thick disposables and such...” I tried to place some blame.

“Indeed I did and continue to do so because I know this is how you are and I love you for it.”

“But you’ve made me this way.”

“No baby, you’ve always loved them, I just steered you to a more fun version of what you desired.”

I wasn’t sure if mum was making any sense or if it was me that was being a bit dense but I’m sure I never asked for cartoon nappies.

“But I never asked for this...” I wriggled unhappily on the plastic mat which I was beginning to stick to.

“The thing is Jason, you have but quite subconsciously. You might not have even been aware of it but since dad died you’ve slowly been heading towards where you are now.”

“But I...”

“When you got the job I thought ‘good for you’ because you’d found something to help you advance and grow a little. However, the job did bring with it huge anxieties both before you started and whilst you were doing it. You suddenly needed your nappies for work as well as night time and that’s when I thought to speed this journey of discovery up a bit and introduced you to what I saw as the ‘next stage’. So the colourful nappies were instituted” She smiled down at me in the most loving way. “As you toddled off to work wearing a nappy under your suit I was just so pleased that my little boy was still in there.” She tapped my head.

“Have I been manipulated...?”

“I don’t think so sweetheart just encouraged in the direction of travel.”

“So have you made everything happen that’s happened?”

“Oh sweetie, if only I had such power. No, you’ve been responsible for that but I’ve tried to guide you from the excesses and channel you into areas I thought you’d appreciate.”

I shrugged. What on earth did she mean... what about Terry and...

Then it tumbled, that was definitely down to me because mum wasn’t around, she was busy giving her full attention to her sick mother and I went off the rails. The thing is it didn’t feel that way at the time because I wanted what happened to happen. I wanted to be grown up, to act grown up, to do grown up things and you couldn’t get more grown up (I thought) than having sex. However, things might have been different if I’d had mum to come home to and discuss my day. Would I have made those mistakes if I’d had her clear, no nonsense advice?

Then the strangest thing happened. I remembered being a little kid in this very room. We must have been visiting and I was running around whilst both dad and Grandad were cheering me on as I tried to escape from their pretend game of dinosaurs, which I loved as a kid.

In this memory, which was so clear, almost real, I could see I was wearing a thick nappy and white glossy plastic pants, screaming in delight as daddy caught me and roared like a T-rex. This perfect ‘real’ image was a shock to the system, and how I hadn’t felt alone as I played last night suddenly made sense. So, whether it happened or not the vision was so indelibly stamped in my mind it was authentic to me, I hadn’t been alone.

Without warning I found tears sliding down my face.

“Oh baby,” mum was quickly in as usual for support. The hug was what I needed and at the same time I could feel the presence of dad in that wonderful embrace. In fact, as I thought about it, mum’s hugs were always intense enough for two.

She held me for as long as it took to calm down.

“OK you win we should come and live here.”

“It’s not a case of winning baby; it’s where you, no we, need to be.”

She threw the briefs she’d had in her hand into the sink and picked up the fluffed out pink disposable that I hadn’t seen her put to one side. Mum was a constant mystery. Without checking I was happy with her choice, which by the way I was, she taped me in and added very glossy matching rubber pants.

Once tucked in, she found a nice pale blue shirt, slid it over my head and said I was ready. 

“What about some pants?” I wondered.

“Not today sweetheart you’ll do as you are. I want to see my baby boy as I remember him from when we first brought you here, you were so damn cute and you loved to run around dressed... just as you are now.”

I thought it was a bit weird and definitely not what I expected but then I didn’t think of mum as having her own desires... until now... but there again... weren’t they my own desires?

#

I stood up and mum flattened the air out of the billowing rubber pants. I watched my reflection in the mirrored wardrobe and asked a serious question.

“Do you like seeing me like this?” It wasn’t the first time I’d asked that particular question.

She continued to pat the glossy material down as she thought for a moment and then smiled.

“The simple answer is ‘Yes’ but there is a reason.”

“Oh yes and what is that?”

“Well, your father and I loved all aspects of bringing you up, smelly nappies and all, but he noticed that when you got a bit fidgety or upset you also peed a little so, even though as you got older you were wearing underpants, we often put you back into nappies. He also noticed that, as with his kid brothers, a dummy also helped settle you down.”

“Yes I know all this...” I said a little irritably.

“But wearing a nappy did more... it made you more loving. Don’t get me wrong, you’ve always been a sweet boy and absolutely no trouble, but still, a nappy made you want to cuddle up to dad or me.”

I shrugged as I couldn’t help but feel the reflection in the full length mirror said I was nothing but a big baby.

“When he died,” she coughed a little as if trying to hide a little emotion, “to begin with you were a little distant and it broke my heart that you didn’t want to cuddle as much. However, after one particular night when you wet the bed and I returned you to wearing a nappy, you returned to wanting a cuddle.”

“Oh.”

“Since then, and since you’ve wet the bed more regularly, I’ve let you wear a nappy because it suited us both but I also noticed that it was something you loved. They had an ‘effect’ that changed, no, not changed... emphasised your personality.”

But I had lots of underpants and stuff...”

“Yes you wore them for school and for weeks on end but then suddenly you’d leak and it was back to wearing a bit of padding. So I let you choose when and where you wanted to wear a nappy. The fact you were getting older didn’t seem to worry you and it certainly didn’t worry me.”

“So I see,” I said running my hand over the slippery pillow I was now wearing.

“The nappies and disposables you now wear all the time proved to me that despite you having a job, and possibly feeling grown up, that wasn’t all you wanted.” Mum looked satisfied with her response. “In fact I thought it was more of a distraction to what you really wanted.”

“And what was that?” I harrumphed.

“I think that you want to return to a time when dad was with us and everything was wonderful.” She waited for a reaction but I just stared at her. “I think you want to return to a time when you hadn’t a care in the world and everything seemed perfect and that was when you wore a nappy, sucked on a dummy and daddy was there to play with his baby boy.”

I was speechless.

“I think you feel cheated that you never got the time you think others had with their father and the nappies and dummy are a substitute. Not that I’m complaining, but I did what you’re father said all those years ago - ‘You have to put yourself in the other person’s position and see what’s wrong from their point of view’ - so that’s what I’ve been doing ever since.

I eventually found my voice. “That can’t be right.”

The thing is, lately, when I’ve thought about dad, not only does a wonderful and understanding man spring into my head but also mentally a man who patted my padding and encouraged me to have fun.

“Look love, I’m not trying to make you something you’re not. All I’m doing, all I’ve ever done, is offer possibilities and whenever there’s been such an option you’ve chosen this path over anything else.”

I took a good look at myself in the mirror and shrugged.

“So, is that why am I dressed like this now?”

“OK, OK, this is a confession. I wanted to give you the opportunity to relive a few moments from your past. Where running around this old house, the one where you, your father and Grandad all enjoyed time together, and where you were usually dressed exactly like this.” She paused for that to sink in, “and if I’m being honest, how I love seeing you now.”

The think was, I did often feel exactly like that and wearing just my protection and maybe a t-shirt was more than enough for me to feel happy, mainly because a nappy and a pair of plastic pants made me feel secure... and I loved that security.

However, what I came up with was. “Mum, you’re weird.”

“I know but, I’ve seen you at home and you never appear happier than when you haven’t a care in the world and are dressed like this.”

She’d already read deep into my psyche. Hell, even my time with the boys we were in our nappies and that was the best time ever. Perhaps, this, with people around me who understand, will be OK after all.

I nodded. “Mmmm, perhaps you’re right about that...”

“Hopefully baby I’m right about most things.” She smiled and lovingly patted my padding.

“Will aunty and Gran be shocked if I bowl up for a bowl of Corn Flakes just wearing this?” I patted my own well-padded bottom.

“I doubt it love... we’re all in agreement that if it’s what you want... then you should do it. There’s no pressure to do or be anything you’re not happy with because that’s the key... your happiness.”

“Well, I did spend most of the night,” I let out a little yawn, “happily playing with the train set and cars so...”

There was something else, I didn’t feel alone and was sure dad and Grandad were sat next to me and we played together.

“OK then, let’s go and have some breakfast.”

# tbc #

[Eagle0769]

This was an important chapter to understand why she wants to move back to where he was when his daddy and granddaddy played with him. 

I hope he wants not only to be with is Daddy that he wants to be with his Mommy ... Mom too and let her and his remaining family take care of him as a baby wearing nappies and sucking on his dummy. 

[wetdiaper55]

Yes This is his future .I love the way the story is going .? As the day go by ,I think of the story,  makes me smile ? 

[Les Lea]

Thanks guys for your encouragement. ?

It's always a treat when people identify with something I've written.

I hope you continue to enjoy our Jason's nappy life.

Hugs