Coming out to my mom

[BabyCat2]

Well I finally did it with help with my therapist I told her I'm an adult toddler diaper lover. And my mom said ah ha that means you can be potty trained. And that's when I said nope this toddler refuses the toilet when it comes to number 1 but number 2 yes please toilet. 

 

My mom is still rather confused she thinks it's very sick but understands that all the trauma I went through this atdl brings me comfort. Granted didn't tell her about the hypnosis I'm listening to but she doesn't need to know that. ?

 

 

What has been your loved ones responses with coming out as abdl, or atdl or dl in general?

[~Brian~]

 

@BabyCat2

I can understand what you are going through.I remember back when I was eight years old, and my brother was no longer with us, because he passed away, and for some reason I was drawn to diapers. The experience was interesting, and my mom asked me questions about whether I liked it, what it felt like, did it feel good, and I'd say yes : and then she took her away and that was the end of that . However I always will remember those feelings and what it felt like , because I guess I'm wired that way . I'm never gonna forget that, and the feelings that I've been dealing with will never go away, because they were always there to start with .

it is good that you have your therapist to help you: one of the hardest things to do is to be able to explain something to your mom or to one of your loved ones, if you think it's going to be something that is difficult to explain. Your mom may think that doing it is sick, but think of it this way: when you're in your diaper, do you feel better? Do you feel that you can handle a situation because you have your diaper on, or because of the reason that it makes you feel safe? Part of the reason why people may end up wanting to wear diapers or to be able to regress to either an AB DL or just a DL, is because there is something in their head or something in their lives that was very bad for them to have to go through, so they go back in time to a time when they have no responsibilities, and someone is taking care of them. The best way to do that is to go all the way back to being a baby. I believe that it is perfectly normal for someone who is dealing with trauma. There is nothing wrong with wearing a diaper: the only difference between underwear and a diaper is the type of underwear you're wearing. You are wearing an absorbent garment that is designed to deal with number one and #2. If you liked pee in your diaper, then you have no reason not to, and I can understand if you may not want to do #2 in a diaper, but sometimes you may have to. In my case I'm incontinent, so there's sometimes when I have no choice and there's no reason for me to have to run to the bathroom. When that happens, I just let it go and the diaper takes care of it. Once I am done, then I can go and I can take care of the mess and I can deal with it.

Remember: there are going to be people in your life that are not going to understand why you like what you like or why you want to wear diapers or may like to enjoy baby toys or whatever. There will always be somebody who does not understand what is going on, but there always will be people who will have open minds and be able to understand. Some people have had very traumatic lives, and they don't want to end up dealing with the severe trauma. They deal with that trauma by wearing diapers, as a way to protect themselves from the trauma or to remind them of days when they didn't have that problem. People who have open minds open hearts and have empathy and sympathy for you will probably understand exactly what you are going through. When I was a kid, I had to go through some trauma myself, but I always had a good family, and a good solid family unit that would help me if I needed it, and they always help me to understand what is going on. All my life, I have dealt with the fact that I like diapers, or they feel good, or they smell good, and it sets me off: regardless of how old I get, those feelings are still here and today because of my incontinence I have finally decided starting in 2020 that I would go 24/7 in diapers. It's a lot easier to do that than to do a load of underwear every day or every two weeks. Diapers are easier to deal with, they're more comfortable, and diapers allow you to do one thing my dear: you can do your number ones your number twos and your number threes if you wish, and no one is the wiser. When you take your diaper off, you will have whatever you released in it, and believe me diapers allow you to release a lot of stress and to be able to relax. Think of it this way: when you pee your diaper: does it feel good to be able to release and be able to relax and just let it go? You better believe it! That is one of the things that I learned your diaper is there to help you it is a friend and it isn't going anywhere so don't worry about it and just do what you need to do.

I would not tell your mom or anyone that you do not trust anything about doing anything with hypnosis. That is something that you are doing on your own, and it does not require your mom to be involved in it. If you have told your mom that you are going to wear diapers 24/7, and that you are going to use them, you have gone along way already. She does not need to know what you are doing, the only thing she needs to know is that you are using them and wearing them. She's going to find wet diapers and she's going to find dirty diapers, because that is the way it is. However she does not need to know that you are doing anything with hypnosis, or anything like that. As long as you're able to wear diapers and you're able to enjoy them, and you're able to add parts of the lifestyle like the clothing or the equipment that you like, then you've come a long ways. Believe me the hardest thing to do is to find a way to accept what it is that you are dealing with. If you were able to accept it, and you were able to have someone help you to explain to somebody else, then you've gone a long ways.

As far as your mom goes, your mom is going to have those beliefs about diapers being what they are: she doesn't understand and she thinks it's strange that you wanna wear diapers. She thinks that it is kind of weird, because she thinks that you are fully potty trained and do not need diapers, but if you are an adult baby or a diaper lover, I don't care what you do, if a diaper is in front of you, you are going to react the way you would normally react and the signals will be there and you will be set off. Your mom may not understand now, and she might not understand for a long time: remember that this is your life and you are running the ship: and as long as your mom is OK with you doing what you're doing, she doesn't have to understand right now, but later on she may come around.

When I ended up having issues in 2019, it really got to me. I had a few months and 20 19 where I would have weird accidents, or I would have bouts of IBS or diverticulitis. These conditions are pains in the **** and most of the time I was having accidents and the easiest way to do that or to deal with it is to put yourself into a diaper. That way at least if you release you have the protection of your diaper. When I realized that I was having issues like that, I went to the doctor and asked him for help. He told me that he was proud of me for coming to him and asking him for help like that, because it takes a lot of guts for someone to walk into a doctor's office and ask for diapers. I am not afraid to ask him for what I need and I'm not afraid to deal with what I have to, because I'm not going to be dealing with dealing underwear every other day. I've had the feelings for years, and now because of my incontinence, they serve my purpose by allowing me to enjoy the feelings, without feeling guilty, I hope you understand what I mean.

When I started having problems, I didn't tell my mom: I didn't think that she needed to know: she would probably do the same thing your mom does and probably think that I'm crazy or that I have a screw loose. Believe me we do not have screws loose, we have feelings and emotions and all of that, and it's all wound around everything. It makes us who we are, and we can't change who we are and how we feel. Sometimes when you're wired like that you're going to have those feelings regardless of what happens.

What I did was I told my dad, my step mom, and my brothers, along with my support people and people that need to know that I'm wearing and using diapers. I don't broadcast it to everybody else, because it's none of their business, and they don't need to know. Wearing diapers is my way of dealing with a situation that is embarrassing and also very inopportune because sometimes it happens without you knowing about it, and having total incontinence is ridiculous sometimes. They call it functional incontinence because of the fact that it is hard to get to the toilet every time, but I don't care: I am fully incontinent and the reason that I did it this way is because it is time for me to accept what is there, and I have had friends that help me understand that there's nothing wrong with wearing diapers and there's nothing wrong with using diapers, and honey there is no shame in wearing them either. Believe me if you're wearing diapers and you like it, and it helps you to relax, and it helps you be a better person, then do it: this is your life that you are running: your mom may come around and she may not: but if your therapist understands and there's people around you can come around eventually, that would be awesome, but I wouldn't try to expect it, because it might take awhile for someone to come around. They might not understand, but as long as your mom loves you and cares about you, then you have a pretty good ally, she just doesn't understand what is going on, and since I am old enough and live on my own, I don't think my mom needs to know what's going on either. This is none of her business, and it's nothing I need to worry about. But in your case, it will be harder if your mom is not receptive but it will take her time.

I can tell you that because I made the decision in 2020 that I did, that I am amore comfortable individual, and I feel stronger and I know that it is the right decision for me. So many times people chastise our community because of our beliefs are because we like diapers or because we like our toys, or we like to play or act like kids, but we're just playing and acting, because we are all adults here. Part of the problem is that there is a stigma that we must get rid of: diapers should be as common as putting on a pair underwear, or changing their socks, or changing your pants: that's the way it is diapers are here to stay and people need to realize that they are going to be used and they're going to either be wet or dirty, and people have to deal with that, but diapers will always be here, so enjoy it as much as you can especially if it makes you happy or it makes you feel whole period when I had made my decision, it made me think that for years something was missing, and now I feel whole and complete. I could never actually admit it but it feels better now, and I don't have to worry about the guilt or the shame or any of that stufF

do not worry: you are among friends and we will help you as much as we can: diapers are your friends, not your enemies, just remember that they are just underwear, a different type of underwear that is absorbent that you can use if you choose to release anything that you're holding. There are many people like kawaharu  that can tell you the same thing;  stigmas need to die, and people need to understand that diapers are not bad, and people can wear them and enjoy them and shouldn't be shunned or run down because they have made that choice. We can act like babies and think like babies and play like babies, but we are adults, and diapers help us in more ways than one. People also wear them because of fact it makes them feel good, for emotional support or for psychological reasons. Regardless of what reason people wear diapers, we share that one thing, we're all here because of diapers

good luck and if you wish go ahead and follow me and if you want to send me a PM, feel free to do so

Brian

[BabyCat2]

Thank you so so much Brian ♥️ 

It's so weird I was doing great on track with wetting but ever since telling them it's like I have to tell my body and brain all is good you cam release and relax. Gonna try some more hypnosis hopefully that will help ? 

[~Brian~]

51 minutes ago, BabyCat2 said:

Thank you so so much Brian ♥️ 

It's so weird I was doing great on track with wetting but ever since telling them it's like I have to tell my body and brain all is good you cam release and relax. Gonna try some more hypnosis hopefully that will help ? 

@BabyCat2

Just remember:  Relaxation is KEY, because your body has been used to NOT wetting when it thinks it shouldn't do it.  You will have to retrain your mind and body that "Its OK to use your diapers for everything,"  This will allow for you and your mind and body to release anything:  In my case, it can happen so fast with a BM, that I sometimes don't have time to get out of my recliner, and get to the toilet:  sometimes, I've done the deed before I even get up hehehehe

****Congrats on being able to tell your therapist and your mom about this - You MUST feel better about this now, right? *****

Brian

[Little Cub Pants]

Well, I'm happy to hear that you had a positive experience with your mother about your being ABDL. I think she took it well, all things considered. That's awesome!??????♥️?????

[spark]

I'm happy that you've had a relatively positive experience.   In my case- I've never shared this with anybody that I know outside of this community.  Your bravery is admirable.

FTR- I started working at my job a year ago after 8 years of working at home.  I've worn a diaper every single day, and have never been asked about it.  I don't think my story is quite the same as you- but I've never felt the need to come out to anybody outside of this community.  This is unusual because they know about my crappy knees and eyes, but this is a secret that I've held tight.

I don't know if my brother and SIL know that I wear diapers.  My brother caught a package of diapers many years ago, and said something- but hasn't since.  His wife is a doctor, and I've worn in front of her.  If anybody would know, it would be her, but she has never said anything.

Of anybody who I would come out to, it would be first a friend who would be a significant other, and than maybe my brother.   My dad would be the last one that I would be willing to share this with.

[BabyCat2]

7 hours ago, ~Brian~ said:

@BabyCat2

Just remember:  Relaxation is KEY, because your body has been used to NOT wetting when it thinks it shouldn't do it.  You will have to retrain your mind and body that "Its OK to use your diapers for everything,"  This will allow for you and your mind and body to release anything:  In my case, it can happen so fast with a BM, that I sometimes don't have time to get out of my recliner, and get to the toilet:  sometimes, I've done the deed before I even get up hehehehe

****Congrats on being able to tell your therapist and your mom about this - You MUST feel better about this now, right? *****

Brian

Yes I feel a million times better. Granted my mom keeps thinking it's just a phase ill grow out of it. But I know I'm not FINALLY I can be who I am ❤️

6 hours ago, spark said:

I'm happy that you've had a relatively positive experience.   In my case- I've never shared this with anybody that I know outside of this community.  Your bravery is admirable.

FTR- I started working at my job a year ago after 8 years of working at home.  I've worn a diaper every single day, and have never been asked about it.  I don't think my story is quite the same as you- but I've never felt the need to come out to anybody outside of this community.  This is unusual because they know about my crappy knees and eyes, but this is a secret that I've held tight.

I don't know if my brother and SIL know that I wear diapers.  My brother caught a package of diapers many years ago, and said something- but hasn't since.  His wife is a doctor, and I've worn in front of her.  If anybody would know, it would be her, but she has never said anything.

Of anybody who I would come out to, it would be first a friend who would be a significant other, and than maybe my brother.   My dad would be the last one that I would be willing to share this with.

I know if I ever came out to my brothers it would be a s**t show and just a mess. What's gonna be hard is my therapist has told me I need to tell my OT, my med doc, and my regular doc, and my Case manager my decision that I am wearing and using diapers 24/7

That's one of my phone calls today will be the case manager especially since she is looking for a sponsored residential house for me.

(It's like a group home but more family environment, it's for people on the spectrum that can't live on there own)

[Young1]

No one know except my hubby and he was pretty understanding and ok with it. I thought it would be the end of our relationship but its made us stronger 

[~Brian~]

4 hours ago, BabyCat2 said:

Yes I feel a million times better. Granted my mom keeps thinking it's just a phase ill grow out of it. But I know I'm not FINALLY I can be who I am ❤️

I know if I ever came out to my brothers it would be a s**t show and just a mess. What's gonna be hard is my therapist has told me I need to tell my OT, my med doc, and my regular doc, and my Case manager my decision that I am wearing and using diapers 24/7

That's one of my phone calls today will be the case manager especially since she is looking for a sponsored residential house for me.

(It's like a group home but more family environment, it's for people on the spectrum that can't live on there own)

@BabyCat2

that is why it is important not to come out to anyone that you think would not be supportive of your decision. It is one thing to have to tell your mother, because you may live with her, and that is something that she would find out anyway. If for example, you had your brothers round, and you lived with your brothers, that might be another situation, but if your brothers are not around, meaning that you don't live with them there is no reason for them to even know. Telling your mom probably was one of the hardest things that you've ever had to do, and the reason is is because that it is something that may sound strange to her, but in your mind, it probably feels better for you because it is easier for you to deal with your situation.

One of the hardest things I ever had to do was to come into my doctor's office and ask him for help. I don't mind asking him for help with my medical situation, but I had to deal with accidents and IBS and diverticulitis, as well as not being able sleep at night, because I was constantly in the bathroom. I was also having accidents, so I was making a mess anyway period and when that happens you end up spending more time cleaning up mess, than actually just dealing with using the diaper.

Telling my medical team and my support teams was pretty easy for me. Case managers and support people really can be like having aces in your hand. If everybody is on the same page, and very supportive of you, each member of your team is the ace karma so you could have 4 aces, or you could have five aces, or you could have more aces. The more aces that you hold in your hand, the easier it will be for you.

If you have the diagnosis that will help you to get what you need, that is your best bet. Go into your main doctor your General practitioner/ medical doctor, and basically tell them what is going on. In my case, it was easy because I have cerebral palsy, which is a mobility disability, and I also have problems with mobility, so it is easier for me to have diapers and go 24/7, rather than to have to worry about constantly changing underwear because I'm making a mess.  Telling your General practitioner and your medical doctor meaning the one that gives you your medicines, will help you because they will understand your health needs, and would be the ones that would most likely be able to write a diagnosis that would support your need. I have it written in my medical records that I am suffering from continuous leakage of urine, and that I also deal with fecal incontinence with fecal urgency. Both of these designations allow me to not have anyone question my diagnosis, or my reason for diapers. On top of that, my cerebral palsy diagnosis will be something that will be very helpful. I'm sure that if you tell your medical team, including your OT, that it would be easier for you to wear and use, then you would probably be able to get what you need. However, you will probably have to see your medical doctor to make sure and I would actually encourage you to seek out your medical doctor to make sure that there is nothing medically wrong with you otherwise. You would not want something to happen that is not being checked on.

I'm also assuming that your diagnosis of autism or whatever it is that you deal with, is also a factor in your decision. I was always taught that if you have to, that you use your disability to the extent that it helps you to get what you want or what you need. One of the most important things that you have to do is make sure that you can advocate for what you want and what you need. Having a good team of people behind you is crucial to make sure this happens.If you can convince your doctors and your case management team , you may have a pretty good shot at getting what you need. You also may have a shot if you have medical reasoning for needing diapers , because then it would be easier to get them.

if you're able to convince your doctor(s), then you will probably have a very easy time of it: in my case, I literally talked to my case manager about it, and then spoke to my doctor, but I'd already talked to him beforehand. She told me that it is common for people to have incontinence, or in my case functional incontinence, because of inability to get to the toilet on time, or because of mobility difficulties. People deal with incontinence differently, so it's not uncommon, and if your decision is to use diapers to help you deal with whatever it is that you deal with, and you were able 2 speak to everyone concerned and get them all to agree, then you should be pretty well set. I'm not sure how hard it would be , or why it would be necessary for you to tell your OT and your Med doctor , but your General practitioner or GP is the one that will most likely know most of your medical history , while your Med doctor will know your other diagnosis and reasons for your medications . Both doctors work together, and the rest of your team works with them. I can understand why your therapist and others would want to be involved, because if everyone knows what's going on, they all can work together for your benefit.

I am not sure what your diagnosis are, or how easy or difficult it would be to convince your medical team of your decision, but I wish you all the best. I know that there are people who are autistic, or who are on the spectrum and they have difficulties, but it all depends on your diagnosis and what they believe is in your best interest. What I would do is advocate for what you want, and see what happens. If you're able to convince your doctor of your need, even if it's not because of incontinence, then hopefully your medical insurance will pick up the cost of your diapers, and if done right, you will have the better diapers that you would be able to get, because the first ones that they give you would be the ones that are the lowest quality: believe me when I tell you this is the case: I didn't get mega maxed on the first shot out, I had to work up to them, telling them after three weeks that what they had provided me, was not working properly, and that I wanted something that was able to deal with full on incontinence. One of the other things that I can tell you for advice is that sometimes what works best is 2 make it sound like you are worse off than you actually are, because sometimes that is the only way to get what you need. I'm not sure why sometimes you would have to go to this length, but it seems to be effective if used properly.

If you are not able to get your doctor to agree, then you may have to purchase them yourself at your own expense. However, your first team member that you need to speak to you've already spoken to, being your therapist, who helped you tell your mom period now you need to deal with your doctors and your case manager. Case managers are quite adept at what they do, and they can do amazing things. I remember being in a situation back in the beginning of 19 where I was really sick, and then in Midsummer, I just couldn't deal with having accidents anymore, so I went and ask for help. I told him what I needed, and then I had him write in my diagnosis exactly that way: "continuous leakage of urine/ fecal incontinence with fecal urgency".

Don't worry about coming out to anyone else other than those that you trust: do you want to make sure that you are able to function to your highest possible level. Most case managers and medical professionals are professional, and they understand why you would be asking for things that you would be asking for. You would have to be able to prove medical necessity for the insurance to be able to cover you, but if you're able to do that, you would be golden period however as I said, you will not get anything but the bare minimum to cover what you need, or you will get a lot of very cheap product, so you have to be extra careful.

As I said: my case manager is like an Angel in disguise. She came in when I had some issues that I had to deal with, and she was so so awesome. I told her what was going on, told her that I talked to my doctor, and then she was able to help me deal with things. Talking to the right individual can help you in more ways than one, because they can understand why you feel the way you do, or why you want what you are asking for. There's no shame in wanting to wear diapers or use diapers, you just have to be able to prove necessity in order for your insurance to cover them. Once you do that, and you prove what works the best for you, then you should be all set. One thing I will tell you however, is if you go 24/7 with diapers, you need to make sure that you have your barrier creams topicals powder disposal system can, disposal bags, and all of that stuff. That should be something that is easier to do once you have what you need, and if you play your cards right and you could get that type of assistance: I'm not sure how it works where you live, or how they go about doing things for your state's Medicaid, but if you use the resources at your command, you will probably have a better chance of getting what you need, but don't give up if they say no right off the bat: because if you don't advocate for what you need, you won't get it: you also have to prove your need, and that may be a tad bit difficult, but it is not impossible, because I was able to do that myself. As you age, it is harder to deal with certain things, so it gets easier and easier to just be able to deal with them and not worry about them too much.

It is my hope that you are able to get what you need and what you want. Once you do that, you will be able to finally be the person you want to be. There is no shame or reason to be embarrassed, because people with disabilities have to deal with situations like this all the time. Professionals like your team have probably dealt with many cases like yours in the past, you just have to be able to ask for it and be able to advocate for it, and if you need it don't be afraid to ask for their help. I'm sure once you get what you need, you will feel a lot better, because then you won't have to worry again. However as I said, have your  medical doctor check you to make sure that you are healthy, because that is important.

Also be advised that when you go 24/7, you we'll have to make changes to the way you deal with your bathroom habits. That means when you use a diaper, you will have to change your diaper. That means that you will have to have a go bag that has all of your supplies in it. That means that if you are driving a vehicle, that it contains a bag that you hold in your vehicle that has all of this in it, so if you are away from home, and you need to use the bag, it is there. You should always have enough of your supplies so that you can easily change on the go. Once you start using diapers, and you get your system down, it will be easier for you to be able to handle it. I've been doing this for three years, and I can guarantee you that my decision has been the best that I ever made.

2 hours ago, Young1 said:

No one know except my hubby and he was pretty understanding and ok with it. I thought it would be the end of our relationship but its made us stronger 

@Young1 is also pretty lucky: his partner is very understanding and is OK with his decision. The thing that I cannot seem to understand is why someone would be turned off completely, because of somebody's need or desire to wear diapers. There are people that wear diapers all the time that are probably married, and their spouses deal with it because it's normal for them to deal with it. I can understand that there are people that might be turned off, but wearing a diaper is no big deal, and wearing underwear is no big deal either. When I talk to my case manager for example, she tells me that it is better to have a dry bed, a dry chair, dry whatever it is, rather than have wet pants and to be very uncomfortable, and then to end up making a mess. Wearing a diaper is very easy because you put it on, you use it, and you change it. It's a lot easier to drop a dirty diaper, and wipe yourself off, and then take care of it and re diaper yourself, rather than to have to change the bed sheets and do laundry every single time you have an accident. Some people have better bladders and better bowels than others. That is not the fault of the individual: some people don't have as much control over their bladder and bowels as others, or the muscles that they need to be able to control it. That is why diapers are so important for those who cannot help having to release, or for those that are disabled that are having trouble, and let's face it: diapers are a lot easier to change then to end up having to do a whole bunch of bedding and laundry every time.

@Kawaharu can tell you stories about her situation, because she deals with it every day. It does not bother her that she wears diapers, or that she has to change diapers, or that she has to use them. It is part of her life as much as it is for me to do the same thing. She made the decision that she was going to adopt the lifestyle of an adult baby because that helps her to deal with her incontinence issues. There is no shame in doing this, and there should be no reason why you feel guilty because you make the decision that you do. Once you're able to prove necessity to somebody in your medical team, then it should be no problem.

As I've stated before in many posts: diapers are not the problem here: the problem here is that there are stigmas that are attached to diapers that have been burned into our heads ever since we have been born. This is because we are expected as babies and young children to use diapers until we are able to be trained. I know that there are people who are autistic as well, and they may be even more severely autistic than others. If they are unable to train because they do not understand what is going on, then that is an issue that must be dealt with, but some people have hard times training, or understanding what's going on, and some people don't have any control at all, which means they're totally incontinent of bowel or bladder, and if that is the case, but then they deal with that situation as well. It all depends on the severity of your autistic diagnosis, and I'm not sure of that, but I would definitely use your disability to your advantage to try to help you get what you need. Don't lie to your doctor outright, but let your doctor know that you are having issues, and see what he or she is willing to do. Ever since I've had diapers, everything has been easier for me. I don't have to worry about jumping out of my chair and running to the bathroom, and if I want to sit in my recliner and enjoy myself, I can do that. If I decide that I want to do a BM in my pants, then it is my decision, I don't do that often, but my diaper is there for those times that it is easier for me to use it than to try to get up and run to the bathroom. Also, diapers will help me so I don't have to get up in the middle of the night to run to the bathroom.

As I've told other people: diapers are your friends: they are there for  a reason: don't feel bad about your decision, you just have to make sure that you are able to communicate that decision and convince your medical team and your support staff of that decision. 

Good luck, and keep us advised!

Brian

 

[BabyCat2]

Thank you so much so I am all of a sudden having more and more bowel accidents ones that if I'm to late I have a mess. So I was wondering what is the easiest way to clean when you mess in the diaper I just keep hopping in the shower and using the detach rod to clean me down there. And nope my mom won't clean me ?

[~Brian~]

9 minutes ago, BabyCat2 said:

Thank you so much so I am all of a sudden having more and more bowel accidents ones that if I'm to late I have a mess. So I was wondering what is the easiest way to clean when you mess in the diaper I just keep hopping in the shower and using the detach rod to clean me down there. And nope my mom won't clean me ?

@BabyCat2

the best way to clean yourself after an accident like this: make sure you have adult size wipes: the North Shore ones that are extra large adult size will do fine because they're quilted and they will allow you to clean more carefully make sure that you are able to get it all.

As much as you can, make sure that when you take the diaper off, you don't end up spreading poop all over the place, and just take the diaper off or slide it down, but be careful because if you have poop in the diaper, it can go all over your legs. What I do is make sure that I'm able to remove the diaper, and then move the diaper out of the immediate walking area so I don't step in mess. Then I make sure that my body has expelled everything that needs to be expelled, and then I start using wipe after wipe, making sure to carefully clean all of the area that has been affected. Once that is done, make sure the seat of the toilet has been cleaned, because you may end up having messed that may end up being there, you clean that up with a wipe, and then, make sure that you rinse yourself off well in the shower. Take The Dirty diaper, put it in some sort of a shopping bag plastic is the preferred method, and then drop it into the garbage for disposal.

then once you're in the shower just spray yourself off as best you can and then make sure that all of the poop has been removed. Any poop that remains on your skin will act as a catalyst to make everything is red as a fire engine, and that will make for a wicked rash, so bad that you won't be able to deal with the pain. Spray yourself off well, and then make sure that you take a full shower making sure to clean everywhere. You don't wanna miss any particular area, because if you are dealing with the remains of an accident, you want to make sure that everything is clean and dry. Once you do that, make sure your dry off, and then once that is done, then make sure that you do not have to use the bathroom again, and then add your topicals if you have them, your powder if you want, and make sure that your diaper is ready and then put it on and seal it up. you have to be careful however not t....and that would be a pain in the ****

in my opinion the best way to handle this is to try to keep the mess inside the diaper to the highest extent possible. The more mess that's in the diaper, and that can be absorbed by the diaper itself, the less you have to clean up later on. However if you're using low end diapers, your quality is not going to be the best, so you may have a lot more mess. I've learned this from experience, because if you're able to have most of the mess contained within the diaper, or most of the discharge is #1, then most of the fecal matter can be easily wrapped up within the diaper taped off and then thrown in a disposal bag and thrown into a trash can.

The most important thing in this whole thing is that you have to make sure that you clean yourself carefully and completely. Do not allow anything that you are releasing to remain in your diaper too long, especially if it's #2. If you decide that you are using your diapers for number one only, then you may be able to get away with having damp diapers for a while, but eventually you will have to change. If you are having number two accidents, your best bet is to use the diaper to its fullest extent possible, so that you do not have to be running like mad to the bathroom. If you have a good diaper on, it will help you in the long run. You just don't wanna get poop all over your hands and all over your body, because sometimes it can get into places that you can't see, and sometimes when you don't clean up properly you can transfer poop from the toilet seat to wherever you're sitting, especially for guys like me and a wheelchair. So be very careful here, but make sure that you are cleaning yourself extra well. Doing it this way will make sure that you do not have a bad rash. If you wait too long, you will end up having a severe problem, and no amount of cleanser or anything like that will make a difference. Barrier cream will also help you because if you put barrier cream on before you put your diaper on, anything that comes out of your diaper will just roll off your skin, and it will end up inside the diaper. Believe me when I tell you this is the best idea, because not only does it protect you from anything that you release, but it protects your skin, because skin breakdown can be agony : I've had to deal with that on several occasions and it is no fun.

Brian

[BabyCat2]

15 hours ago, ~Brian~ said:

@BabyCat2

the best way to clean yourself after an accident like this: make sure you have adult size wipes: the North Shore ones that are extra large adult size will do fine because they're quilted and they will allow you to clean more carefully make sure that you are able to get it all.

As much as you can, make sure that when you take the diaper off, you don't end up spreading poop all over the place, and just take the diaper off or slide it down, but be careful because if you have poop in the diaper, it can go all over your legs. What I do is make sure that I'm able to remove the diaper, and then move the diaper out of the immediate walking area so I don't step in mess. Then I make sure that my body has expelled everything that needs to be expelled, and then I start using wipe after wipe, making sure to carefully clean all of the area that has been affected. Once that is done, make sure the seat of the toilet has been cleaned, because you may end up having messed that may end up being there, you clean that up with a wipe, and then, make sure that you rinse yourself off well in the shower. Take The Dirty diaper, put it in some sort of a shopping bag plastic is the preferred method, and then drop it into the garbage for disposal.

then once you're in the shower just spray yourself off as best you can and then make sure that all of the poop has been removed. Any poop that remains on your skin will act as a catalyst to make everything is red as a fire engine, and that will make for a wicked rash, so bad that you won't be able to deal with the pain. Spray yourself off well, and then make sure that you take a full shower making sure to clean everywhere. You don't wanna miss any particular area, because if you are dealing with the remains of an accident, you want to make sure that everything is clean and dry. Once you do that, make sure your dry off, and then once that is done, then make sure that you do not have to use the bathroom again, and then add your topicals if you have them, your powder if you want, and make sure that your diaper is ready and then put it on and seal it up. you have to be careful however not t....and that would be a pain in the ****

in my opinion the best way to handle this is to try to keep the mess inside the diaper to the highest extent possible. The more mess that's in the diaper, and that can be absorbed by the diaper itself, the less you have to clean up later on. However if you're using low end diapers, your quality is not going to be the best, so you may have a lot more mess. I've learned this from experience, because if you're able to have most of the mess contained within the diaper, or most of the discharge is #1, then most of the fecal matter can be easily wrapped up within the diaper taped off and then thrown in a disposal bag and thrown into a trash can.

The most important thing in this whole thing is that you have to make sure that you clean yourself carefully and completely. Do not allow anything that you are releasing to remain in your diaper too long, especially if it's #2. If you decide that you are using your diapers for number one only, then you may be able to get away with having damp diapers for a while, but eventually you will have to change. If you are having number two accidents, your best bet is to use the diaper to its fullest extent possible, so that you do not have to be running like mad to the bathroom. If you have a good diaper on, it will help you in the long run. You just don't wanna get poop all over your hands and all over your body, because sometimes it can get into places that you can't see, and sometimes when you don't clean up properly you can transfer poop from the toilet seat to wherever you're sitting, especially for guys like me and a wheelchair. So be very careful here, but make sure that you are cleaning yourself extra well. Doing it this way will make sure that you do not have a bad rash. If you wait too long, you will end up having a severe problem, and no amount of cleanser or anything like that will make a difference. Barrier cream will also help you because if you put barrier cream on before you put your diaper on, anything that comes out of your diaper will just roll off your skin, and it will end up inside the diaper. Believe me when I tell you this is the best idea, because not only does it protect you from anything that you release, but it protects your skin, because skin breakdown can be agony : I've had to deal with that on several occasions and it is no fun.

Brian

Oh good to know I have a petroleum rash cream is that the same as a barrier cream?

[~Brian~]

1 hour ago, BabyCat2 said:

Oh good to know I have a petroleum rash cream is that the same as a barrier cream?

@BabyCat2

yes: I believe that it is!The idea of putting a barrier cream on also make sure that anything that you're releasing will roll off your skin and will not stick to your skin and cause any uncomfortable irritation period of course, common sense dictates that not all stuff you release won't cause problems for your skin, but a good layer of cream will make sure is there any rash you are dealing with will hopefully be kept at Bay . Barrier cream is thick because of the fact that it is designed to help you keep that stuff away from your skin, because once it gets on your skin and stays there for awhile, it can react with your skin and that's what causes the red itchy terrible rash .

Brian

[BabyCat2]

Thank you so far the only rash I have had to contend with is the red bumps on my butt which are super easy to deal with especially with cream?

[Ipmapants]

In my case I never found it necessary   to “come out” to my family. It just didn’t seem like it would serve a purpose for anything and I already moved away from home before I found out that I was a DL all along! Anyways I did tell my GF because we really share everything with each other. But it has been a bit of a road. When I first told her she didn’t respond the best she employed a kind of don’t ask don’t tell strategy. And it was a topic that we generally avoided which I am totally okay with. I don’t need her to participate or anything but it recently changed because we moved in together and I wanted to see what her boundaries would be. And I basically asked if I could wear while she was home and she said that would be fine and honestly that’s all I could ask for. I am strictly a DL so I don’t want her to change me or anything like that. But just me being able to wear around the house is all I needed! 

[landonboy]

I've been wearing diapers for 40yrs my mom knew from the first diaper I put on