We're in Endgame

[kitsy101]

 

 

Were in Endgame now:

 

So, to give a bit of background as to what led me to go into my downward spiral I have to give a bit of background. It started at the beginning of the year. I was working a job at a local casino doing back-of-house maintenance. It was pretty good at the beginning with all of it’s sign on bonuses. New Years day, a black out date meaning if I didn’t show up for work I would get fired. I wake up and see my car has a flat tire. I managed to get to work but that didn’t end my bad luck. Next week later I am driving back home and I see a large chunk of ice in the middle of the road. I couldn’t avoid it and ran over it causing my tire and rim to go flat and me stranded on the highway. I was able to get it fixed but my car was on its last leg. Fast forward two weeks on the highway I hit a patch of black ice and basically wreck my car. It’s no longer drivable.

 

I needed a vehicle ASAP to get to work (about 30 miles one way). I was looking around and I thought I found the perfect vehicle. A nice big SUV and it was great except for the fact that it had a huge glaring issue I found out after driving it for a week. I was duped by a used dealership and took out a huge portion of my savings. I had to take out a car loan in order to get a decent car. Anyways, I quit my job at the casino for something closer, a courier that paid well more than what I was currently making. 

 

Now onto the present day. My newly leased car did not come with problems at least once a month. I had to take it in to get it fixed. Granted, they were all issues I expected. But this last one, my starter and rear support bar. It’s the bar that runs underneath the starter that needs to be replaced. They told me that the repairs would be about $1500 and I am stretched thin financially. I just wanted to be able to have enough money to not have to worry about whether I can make next month’s rent. 

 

I panic-plan and it sends me sprialing. I've been at my job for two months. They had me do a ‘defensive driving’ test where I drive a box truck and serpentine forward and backwards. I failed the first time and I’m hoping that when I take it again I can pass because I fear that they would let me go. 

 

I’ve tried to find organizations to help me but in order to get I need to be past due or have no money. Even than I would probably be in a state of crisis or not even receive the aid enough in time. So I’m struggling to stay afloat. The car dealership managed to lend me out a loaner car and while they said they couldn’t provide anymore help. Which I was overly grateful for I was still in a financial state of being in the red. I’m hoping things start to get better for me because I don’t see anyone helping me out. I can’t get into any mental health facilities to talk to someone. I don’t have the time as I work first shift and by the time I get out all the places are closed and I don’t have the financial means to pay someone at the moment.  My emotions are constantly going up and down from being content with my situation to going into a downward spiral where I’m really considering putting an end to it. I need help both physically and mentally. I would appreciate any type of feedback/advice anything really. I will be looking at this thread as people respond to is so I can answer any questions that you might have. I appreciate people taking the time to read this!

[DailyDi]

Sorry you are going through rough times! I had some car issues myself this month and it made me unable to pay some bills, which will now be double next month and will end up taking me 3-4 months to really catch-up.

Please don't do anything harmful to yourself. Things will get better. I know its hard, especially when you can't get mental health treatment, but please hang in there and be strong. Just get through today, and tomorrow get through another, and so on.

Much love and hugs!

[kitsy101]

Thank you very much! It's a one day at a time type thing

[feralfreak]

please please please dont end it, Jesus loves you, you have people in the flesh that do too. see your doctor, you can get help to get through things, and a passage in the bible might help you, psalms 55:22 "Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee", i know how if feels to be bogged down, in '16 we had to run for our lives, my at the time stepfather threatened to kill us, running us out in the middle of the night, i went nowhere without a gun for a long time, last year was a year of hell in a matter of a month watching my mom have a 3rd heart attack, a 2nd seizure, chest pain after chest pain after chest pain(hers not mine, im autistic and the local hospital is nothing short of incompetent so i fear her having to go back there), we have damage in the house we cant afford to fix(leaks in roof, floor rot, etc), BUT we are still here, you are still here, the burdens of life is too much for us to bear SO we are advised to give them to Jesus, ask him to take them onto his hands, he is more than strong enough to bear it for you, and he wants to, he wants your troubles, your burdens, he wants you to come to him and ask him for his intercession, he loves you, he has since before you were even born, before you were even concieved, he has miracles and blessings for those that turn to him.

[Little Cub Pants]

When I saw this thread, I immediately thought of THIS! LOL!?????????☺️?