When Life stress gets in the way of untraining...

[BabyBoi91]

I wanted to write about this back in Nov/Dec, but couldn't find the words. 3 months later, the stressful stuff in my life (lots moving, then moving again--I hate packing and moving and unpacking, then repeating....) is finally starting to settle down. 

I've been 24/7 for 3+ years now and been actively untraining for over 2.  I had really good success working with a hypnotist that helped me get past several hurdles, but more importantly I think it taught me some skills to use to work through future hurdles. 

I noticed some of those hurdles pop up last fall.  Had a brief health scare (unrelated to diaper untraining) followed shortly by moving multiple times.  Began to doubt--not so much what I wanted (although I did that some), but more so doubted whether my family/friends were really accepting of my ABDL (something my spouse engaged with me on for 10+ years).  I didn't pick up on the doubt, but I did notice a few things: 

I stopped wetting the bed very often. I started getting super constipated / "retaining" my poops (which led to them being super painful). And I overall started to hate wearing diapers / having to "deal with it all." 

I recognized the internal feeling almost immediately, as I had been at that point before. So I kind of slowed down and just allowed myself to "accept myself in the present." It's pretty much the main way I have found to get through difficult times in life is to just slow down and accept whatever/wherever you are at the present.  

But I also knew I didn't want to stay there.  Talked with family and friends about it.  But life got SUPER busy. 

Then, in the last few weeks got to have some more meaningful conversatioans with family and friends as I realized my doubts were misplaced (I kind of was already starting to see they were). And I also got to work through my own internal doubts as well. 

Since then my untraining accelerated right back to where it is: I'm enjoying wetting the bed again (well, I'm diapered always, so bed is dry :); I'm not retaining anymore (which I wasn't doing on purpose) and BM's arent painful, they just happen on autopilot without pain; and I still pretty much drip all day/night long (that's been unchanged the whole time) and I couldnt stop that if I tried. 

Also back to enjoying Little space a lot more    . 

So, yeah, it was interesting to see the effect stress had on my "untraining" (reversed my bedwetting briefly, caused severe constipation, made me doubt a lot; but didn't undo my incontinence), but it's also nice to see that it didn't permanently alter my course. 

* * * 

Why did I share? 

I know others have shared that their progress isn't one-direction and has "ups and downs," and while I have definitely seen that (usually more related to my own dedication level), this was the first major 'lull' in my untraining and just wanted to share my experience in the hopes that others may find some encouragement. 

[oznl]

I can’t see myself engaging a wider circle of family and friends about my underwear choices but I’d have to say, the constant low level negativity from my spouse is, after 3 years, really, really wearing. 

I think this constant challenge to my attempts to accept myself as I am is of itself a source of stress.

It’s an interesting thought that stress might be behind some of the oscillations I see in my level “automatic” with respect to nappy usage.

[BabyBoi91]

I told my two best friends when I decided to get serious about untraining. I kindof knew they were probably kinky (one of them always made furry jokes ALL the time, lol. The other is just my bes friend). My spouse has known since like the 4th month of us dating.