Crime Doesn't Pay - Completed (8/10/21)

[CapitalM]

3 minutes ago, SGTbaby said:

Good overall story but I was wondering if in the end she would get away. 

I did consider having the dream sequence be the actual ending where she does get away and get revenge. In the end, I felt like a less happy ending was more suitable in this case and it allowed me to introduce the Practice Facility/Talent Show which were fun concepts. I like lighter endings too though, so it was a difficult decision.

[Guilend]

Thanks. I just love a good written story and this is very well written and I loved it very much. Thank you for your work. ❤️

[BabyJilly_S]

Thanks for the story, I really liked it

It was different from other DD stories I have read in its premise. The practise facility was great and the idea of Amazons not necessarily being motherly and wanting to humiliate littles and treat them very poorly (ok torture and abuse) for their own amusement equally so.  

No issues with an "unhappy" ending here, after all, the odds are against all littles...

Anyway, it was very well written, and probably contained enough in it to to expand upon and write one of those epics if you had so chosen ! 

Although, what's that saying, "always leave them wanting more.." with this, I want more

 

[Moon3ye]

I have now spent some time thinking about the chapter and reading it again.

And as bad as it ends, we can't forget that it's set in Catalonia, one of the worst places for Littles, so this ending in this country is probably the best worst ending she can get.

Even though she probably wants something other than a helpless crawling toy of a 12 year old. 

[TerranV]

Good read. Dark ending but nothing wrong with that. I'm usually not a fan of alot of torture but it works in the short term.

Also nothing wrong with a shorter story. Better to end it where it feels natural than to drag it out unnecessarily.

3 hours ago, BabyJilly_S said:

Although, what's that saying, "always leave them wanting more.." with this, I want more

Exactly!

Edited August 11, 2021 by TerranV

[Cya]

6 hours ago, Moon3ye said:

a helpless crawling toy of a 12 year old. 

I don't know if Lyn will even be able to crawl. Didn't Mrs. Straud (or the announcer) say something about the girls "flopping" around and being stuck on the floor? I know that there's a few different ways to interpret that information, but I think that a Little being able to crawl around isn't much different than a Little walking around to an Amazon. Now, if Lyn was stuck on her back or tummy all the time, it would be a lot easier for her daughter to manage her. Call me crazy, but I think they took away Lyn's ability to even use her legs at all. Would love to get confirmation on this from Captiol.

 

After reading that entire story, I must admit that you made a great story. You captured the classic feel of the Diaper Dimension. Most people have forgotten that Amazons aren't just maternal, but there's quite a few out there who love punishing people shorter than them. It's a very tough universe. For every "nice" Amazon, there's five more who would ruin a Little's life just for shits and giggles. Seriously, you did an awesome job for your first story!

[CapitalM]

17 hours ago, Guilend said:

Thanks. I just love a good written story and this is very well written and I loved it very much. Thank you for your work. ❤️

Thank you Guilend!

8 hours ago, BabyJilly_S said:

Thanks for the story, I really liked it

It was different from other DD stories I have read in its premise. The practise facility was great and the idea of Amazons not necessarily being motherly and wanting to humiliate littles and treat them very poorly (ok torture and abuse) for their own amusement equally so.  

No issues with an "unhappy" ending here, after all, the odds are against all littles...

Anyway, it was very well written, and probably contained enough in it to to expand upon and write one of those epics if you had so chosen ! 

Although, what's that saying, "always leave them wanting more.." with this, I want more

 

Thank you BabyJilly_S! I'm glad you liked it. In regards to writing a longer story, I certainly plan to in the future.

7 hours ago, Moon3ye said:

I have now spent some time thinking about the chapter and reading it again.

And as bad as it ends, we can't forget that it's set in Catalonia, one of the worst places for Littles, so this ending in this country is probably the best worst ending she can get.

Even though she probably wants something other than a helpless crawling toy of a 12 year old. 

Exactly, all about looking on the bright side of things.

5 hours ago, TerranV said:

Good read. Dark ending but nothing wrong with that. I'm usually not a fan of alot of torture but it works in the short term.

 

Yep. I didn't want to go too overboard, but some dark elements are fun.

 

39 minutes ago, Cya said:

I don't know if Lyn will even be able to crawl. Didn't Mrs. Straud (or the announcer) say something about the girls "flopping" around and being stuck on the floor? I know that there's a few different ways to interpret that information, but I think that a Little being able to crawl around isn't much different than a Little walking around to an Amazon. Now, if Lyn was stuck on her back or tummy all the time, it would be a lot easier for her daughter to manage her. Call me crazy, but I think they took away Lyn's ability to even use her legs at all. Would love to get confirmation on this from Captiol.

 

After reading that entire story, I must admit that you made a great story. You captured the classic feel of the Diaper Dimension. Most people have forgotten that Amazons aren't just maternal, but there's quite a few out there who love punishing people shorter than them. It's a very tough universe. For every "nice" Amazon, there's five more who would ruin a Little's life just for shits and giggles. Seriously, you did an awesome job for your first story!

Thank you for the message! I was trying to emulate some of the older Diaper Dimension stories, so I'm glad that came across. I like a lot of the newer stories, but there's something really fun about traditional Amazons who don't see Littles as anything more than babies. I like your Corporate Takeover and Adopted by Giants stories a lot for that very reason.

As for the state of her legs, I wanted to keep it slightly ambiguous. She won't be able to walk on her own two feet, but she also won't be completely immobile (though she may have to rely on her arms to move). Somewhere in that range. Either way, Straud's daughter will have no trouble keeping her under control.

[ThomasG]

Hmm, Spalvodi didn't decide to adopt her himself. That would have completed his victory. He has a cute "Daughter," to perform ballet, give head pats, and humiliate by changing her diapers, bathing her, and keeping her in pink outfits and diaper covers.

[Cya]

On 8/12/2021 at 1:28 PM, ThomasG said:

Hmm, Spalvodi didn't decide to adopt her himself. That would have completed his victory. He has a cute "Daughter," to perform ballet, give head pats, and humiliate by changing her diapers, bathing her, and keeping her in pink outfits and diaper covers.

He obviously came to the event with the intention to adopt her and keep her as a trophy, but it seems that he would rather gain a business partner in Mrs. Straud as opposed to trying to take the Little from her. Also, by adopting her and keeping her around, he basically proves how valuable she is and simultaneously reminds Lyn of how powerful she used to be whenever he would tell other people about her. This ending makes the most sense when you consider that Spalvodi wanted her to be relegated to being a pamper packing baby who isn't even seen as a person. I'm pretty sure once he heard that Lyn would be given to Mrs. Straud's daughter as a "practice baby" he knew such a fate would be worse than anything he could ever hope to dish out.

 

But that's just how I see things.