Don't nap on a good day?

[DailyDi]

Woke up from a nap that interrupted a complicated dream. It was not a memory dream, it was complete fiction, but I awoke at a sad point where I was a child and did not feel loved... and now I'm sitting here trying not cry because it upset me so much. Crazy be crazy.

[babymaggie]

Sorry the nap made you upset. Honestly, I hate naps even on bad days. Started therapy this year for traumatic events from childhood that should have been dealt with years ago but were never to be talked about and as far as others were concerned nothing happened and I was fine. I was far from fine and only began to realize just how it messed me up. Dealing with feelings and memories that I buried so deep has had me come unglued several times this year. I was told it gets worse before it gets better, I hope better is soon.

I hope you are having a better day today.

[DailyDi]

1 hour ago, babymaggie said:

Sorry the nap made you upset. Honestly, I hate naps even on bad days. Started therapy this year for traumatic events from childhood that should have been dealt with years ago but were never to be talked about and as far as others were concerned nothing happened and I was fine. I was far from fine and only began to realize just how it messed me up. Dealing with feelings and memories that I buried so deep has had me come unglued several times this year. I was told it gets worse before it gets better, I hope better is soon.

I hope you are having a better day today.

Doing good today, thanks.

Honestly, in my experience it does get better, but it never goes away. There's no "fix" for memories and emotions. This dream, for example, while not a memory touched on a general feeling of not being loved that I did feel as a kid, and since I am - at my core - still a kid that's a wound that still hurts when poked.

I have a bad memory so I have no idea what I have shared or not shared in here, but much of my childhood trauma was caused by my mother, either directly, or by not paying attention to what was going on. I have since learned that she had untreated depression and anxiety, and doesn't remember the worst of times, and I forgive her for that, but it makes it harder to let go of feelings like this as I can't properly confront them / her. She doesn't remember doing it, and it only makes her depressed, which makes me more depressed.