Sophie ♥ Posted December 19, 2020 Author Share Posted December 19, 2020 Chapter Thirty "And you're sure?" Marnie confirmed again, because honestly she'd expected for Kylie to try to send Ellie home, and then she'd have to intervene. The news that she'd extended that olive branch was pretty surprising, and was deserving of praise! "I'm very proud of you, Smylie! Let's go see your sister, okay?" There were a few things to do: some dressing up of course, and there was the matter of Kylie's earlier behavior. Maybe a spanking was in order; as long as she contextualized it and did it as a Mom, that was important. I was anxious. Extremely anxious. Trouble breathing anxious. But Marnie was good at handling things like this. Once she started littling me, I would be fine. So I followed her back into the bedroom and stood awkwardly by the door. "Okay you two, it's definitely past time for Mommy to get you dressed." And now was, perhaps, as good a time as any. "Ellie, I want to explain a few rules to you, okay? Can you be a good girl and pay attention for me?" Marnie figured that by addressing sterner words to Ellie, she could remind Kylie of a few things without it being about her. " Sure, that's fine." I nodded, although I still had mixed feelings about being called a girl. Should I have, though? "Alright sweetie. When you're here, I'm Mommy. No other name, okay?" Marnie looked at me expectantly and I nodded my head in agreement. "You're four years old now, and that means Mommy picks out your clothes. Mommy makes you food, Mommy dresses you, feeds you, puts you to bed. Do you understand, sweetie?" Again, I nodded. She'd told me most of this before, right? I wondered why she was going over it again now. Kylie was sitting on the bed beside me, and I reached gently across the covers and took her hand in mine. I liked the closeness, I guess. "There's a good girl. No teasing each other, loving sisters only! And good girls get treats while naughty girls get a little help behaving. Now that we've covered that, I think I know just the outfits for you both..." Night time rules opened so many options! She didn't mention the new rule change. I wondered if it applied. Ugh, I sure hope it didn't! But I guess I would find out later tonight... I watched Marnie go to the dresser and open the right-hand drawers. I looked down at my feet after that and held Eliot's hand. What was she going to dress us in? Onesies? Rompers? Maybe I'd get lucky with a nightgown... I didn't quite recognize what Marnie picked out, but Kylie sure did - I even heard her audible little groan when she saw what I thought were just long t-shirts; although the hem at the bottom was weirdly shaped I guess? "I want to be able to keep a close eye on you two under the nighttime house rules, and these just arrived today, isn't that lucky?" She held up two onesies, snap crotched and soft fabrics from an Etsy seller. Both were pink; one had prints of little kitties chasing yarn, and the other one had little puppies with a ball. And they were both utterly adorable. Kylie knew something about the garments that was a mystery to Ellie, though - onesies meant diapers. Proper diapers. Nighttime diapers. I didn't say anything as she put the onesies down on the bed. It was hard to look away, for conflicting reasons. On one hand, Eliot was here, which meant a onesie was the worst outfit I could wear! On the other, it filled me with a nostalgic calm; I had worn one only the night before, in Mommy's lap, as she played with my hair. I bit my lip and my cheeks started to turn pink. Kylie might have been nervous, that was true, but Marnie wasn't exactly the image of still waters inside of her head, either - she was about ready to tell an adult boy that he was to be put in diapers for the night. Diapers that she would be putting on him, no less. And checking, regularly. It was actually easier to think of him as a girl, because none of this was foreign when it came to Kylie. And none of the turmoil showed on Marnie's face. "Up you get, both of you, it's time to get you undressed." They were siblings now. Of the same gender. Seeing each other naked wasn't going to be a big deal, Marnie decided for the both of them. And she began to follow through with that notion, and began by undressing Ellie. "Um..." She tugged down my pants, flashing my panties to my best friend just like that. She knew I wore. She didn't know I tucked. In this moment though, I was kind of glad that I did, because it almost made it less mortifying. I looked over at Eliot - wearing nothing but his nice shirt and panties - and dropped my gaze to the floor. But even though I'd seen him for only a split second, my memory wouldn't let it go. "Marnie," I said loudly, but the sharpness in my voice was dull and safe. "Do this in different rooms!" "Mommy," Marnie corrected, then continued. "You two are sisters, and sisters see each other naked sometimes, like when I give you both a bath later tonight. So stop making a fuss and be a good role model for your little sister, okay, sweetie?" Every word was dripping with maternal inflection too, loving and doting. So she continued to undress Ellie with little protest from at least one of her babies. Bath? Bath! I shook my head and stood up, my cheeks burning in embarrassment. And I still had my pants on! "No way I am taking a bath with him! Just because I agreed to—" "Kylie Miranda!" Marnie said sharply. I felt the world stop spinning. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. "You will not raise your voice, young lady. You aren't going to argue with me, and you certainly aren't going to be calling your sister a boy like that. Am I making myself clear?" Finishing undressing Ellie, panties last, Marnie gently gestured for her to lay down. "On the bed sweetie, on your back, I need to undress your sister now." I was naked. Stark naked. In front of two women, one of whom was my best friend. This couldn't have been more awkward. Maybe I could put a pillow over me or something... "This... you're not..." Marnie walked over to me and ran her fingers along my chin. I felt my anxiety melt away. But anxiety isn't always a bad thing. Anxiety is what stops a woman from undressing you in front of your best friend. I needed that anxiety! But it was gone now. She lifted my shirt off over my head and stripped me of my pants. I felt my back hit my bedsheets, wearing nothing but my bra. This was the true power of Littlespace. Someone could make you do anything. But Marnie and I had built up so much trust the past few months, I knew she would keep me safe. My cheeks burned red, and I couldn't look over at El next to me. I would die of embarrassment. "I'm going to put your diaper on first, Kylie, so your sister can see it's not so scary. I need you to be a big girl for me and show her how to behave and help Mommy, because you're very good at being diapered, aren't you?" The words had very little meaning to me, because so far as I was concerned, she'd had me wear a diaper once already. What was the big deal? Just throwaway panties, right? Each word brought embarrassment crashing over me like waves. But it brought something else too. Serenity. Quiet. Simplicity. There was a part of me that wanted to sit up and shout and use my safe words. But over time, that part grew quieter and quieter. Now, the louder inner voice reminded me how letting Mommy make my decisions always made me so happy. "Uh huh," I muttered, closing my eyes. I couldn't believe this was happening... "Good girl." Marnie turned around to open the drawer on the top left of the dresser inside the closet. I couldn't quite see what was happening, but she came back over a few moments later and set something down on the bed. "Ellie, I want you to watch your sister, okay? For itty bitty babies, Kylie is very good at this so I want you to try to remember what she does and do the same when it's your turn." I nodded my head, vaguely, and watched Kylie - although I could imagine she wanted me to do anything but that. The crinkling rustle of plastic drew my eyes away though, and I tried to make sense of what Marnie had in her hands. Marnie wasn't playing games. She wasn't pulling punches. This was littleness at its prime, and I knew even before she grabbed the diaper that she would use one of my pink ones, with bunnies on the front. They were the thickest ones we had, made thicker with a stuffer. "Up," she said. Automatically - without even thinking about it - I lifted my bottom. I didn't think about how it looked to El until after, raising my crotch in the air for him to see. Shaved, like Mommy liked it. He had never seen me naked before. Thankfully, my bra was on... Under any other circumstances, I think my ordinary response would have been to get aroused - which would have been a fricking disaster, let me say! But under this very unique and peculiar set of circumstances, I was more... fascinated. Kylie lifted her butt, and that's how I saw it. I didn't see "she thrusted herself up," I saw that “she lifted her butt”. And I realized that Marnie was sliding a diaper under her. Like, not a pull on thing like I had worn before, but a diaper. A baby diaper, but bigger. Tapes and everything. I had a lot of questions. Quietly, I watched as she was prompted to lower her butt down again. "You're such a good girl, Kylie. Look at what a good helper you're being for your sister; she's fascinated and I bet she's learning a whole lot." I whined audibly, so Mommy knew how uncomfortable I was! But it was almost over. The horrible part. Then El would have to suffer the same thing. That thought almost made the whole thing worth it. I felt a sprinkle of dust between my legs as Mommy covered my skin in baby powder. Then the crinkling filled my ears and the thickness filled the space between my legs. The loud echoes of ripping tape. And the safety and warmth of my diaper. I opened my eyes and looked up at Mommy. She seemed far away, and so close. My head felt fuzzy, like I'd just woken up. Marnie gave Kylie's diaper the cursory rub to show that she was done, and she lifted her up into a cradled cuddle in her arms, before setting her down on her feet next to her. "You were such a good girl, Kylie, Mommy is so proud. Now we're going to diaper your sister, and you're going to be Mommy's helper, would you like that?" I sure wouldn't! I felt a heat in my chest, like that one time I got a CT scan, and I wanted to protest. But I'd made a promise to Kylie, dummy dumb dumb boy that I was. "Can you hold the powder for Mommy, Kylie?" Mommy put the powder in my hands and I took it with a small nod. My cheeks were red, but only in response to the diaper change. Actually, the fact that I was standing naked but for a bra and a very thick diaper in front of my best friend was temporarily lost on me. But El was still naked, lying on his back. I'd never seen him naked before. I'd never really thought about it. Now I couldn't forget it. Without any clothes, he looked like such a boy. I shouldn't have been surprised, but... well, a part of me was. "Up, Ellie." I felt like this was a test I'd studied my whole life for, maybe because I didn't want to draw this out or cause a scene, maybe because I was looking to impress Kylie? What an embarrassing way to accomplish something so basic. Wow El. I lifted my ass and it felt like there was another layer of blanket put underneath me when I lowered it. "What do you think, Kylie? Does your sister need a stuffer? Or two? She's awfully little, isn't she?" I'm right here you know! I knew I had one - I could tell the difference by feel alone. Wait, did I have two? No... I didn't think so. I finally took my eyes off my best friend's naked body and looked up at Mommy with a hazy gaze. "Uh huh... yeah, I think so." My voice sounded different. Soft. Powerless. I was already in Littlespace. Jeeze... "Could you go get one for me, sweetie?" I nodded and went over to the dresser, where she kept such things. I opened the drawer and took one off the pile and brought it back to my Mommy, all while holding the baby powder. "There we go, what a good girl." Marnie positioned the stuffer with the diaper and then pointed for her little helper. "Powder up your sister, sweetheart. Lots of powder, I know how much you like it." There was method to the madness here - physical sex characteristics couldn't help but be gendering, so Marnie hoped that by exposing the taboo immediately and then framing everything in the context of a baby girl, in treating Ellie no different from Kylie, she could quickly push both of her charges over the hurdle. Awkward. Super awkward. I'd seen a penis maybe one other time in my entire life. In person, anyway. And it just... it wasn't what I expected. Why? Did I think he had a vagina or something? Of course not! Ugh, my little girl brain couldn't wrap its head around this... Nonetheless, I poured way too much powder on the boy. Girl? I dunno. And then I stepped back with a nervous smile. This whole thing was making me dizzy... "Thank you sweetheart. You did a good job." And in a few well placed tugs and pulls of tapes, the diaper was pulled up and all the differences in the world went away. Just two girls, just the same. What was between their legs? Why, diapers of course. "Did you say your sister got something pretty today at the store, Kylie?" I couldn't close my thighs. They literally wouldn't touch. And the diaper was so noisy! But gosh if it wasn't soft. "Huh...?" I looked at Mommy curiously and she tapped me on my chest. My... chest? No, my bra. Oh! "R-right! Uh huh! She got a bra to wear when she's a girl." It should be somewhere in here, actually. She brought it in with her... "Well, Ellie is a girl right now, so shouldn't she be wearing her bra?" Kylie had talked at length before, when in more adult spaces, how captivating she found the image of herself in a bra and diaper, like it was a bringing together both parts of herself. It would be a good experience for Ellie to have, too. "It's um, in the bag over by the door." I offered. Quietly. Very quietly. I was one part distracted, seventeen parts embarrassed. I found the bag without too much trouble and got the bra out. Pink, with hearts. Oh, it would match her diaper, too! That thought sat for a moment, feeling weird, and then I brushed it off. The bra wasn't that big. I mean, Ellie didn't really have big boobs. And it was a push-up one, so it had some padding along the bottom of the cup. I gave it to Mommy all the same. "Up you get, honey.” Marnie reached down and plucked me up off the bed, standing me up next to her as she examined the bra in her hands. "Mommy will do this for you this time, but I expect you to practice at home okay? Girls need to be good at this stuff." Practice. Right. The bra. Or something. I couldn't take my eyes off of Kylie. Diaper and bra. And cheeks so pink and glossy and happy. Wow. "Huh?" "I'm just clasping you now, let me know if it's too tight." It wouldn't be. Caroline adjusted it in the store to my measurements. I felt a tightness, but not anxiety; the unfamiliar feeling of elastic around my chest. And now Kylie was the one who couldn't take her eyes off me. Whatever image of boyhood I saw in Ellie before was gone. She stood before me in just a pink bunny diaper - thighs forced apart - and a heart-printed bra. I stared absently, like... like a creep or something! But gosh. She was just so... so... "Come on now, girls. Arms up for Mommy." My arms went up without thinking. Marnie had a way of commanding me in Littlespace that bypassed casual thought processes. And the thickness between my legs reminded me with every step that I wasn't able to argue. I'd never worn a bra before. Or a onesie before. Or a diaper before. And now I was wearing all three, and it was amazing how they played off one another. The onesie was tight against my skin, it pulled the diaper up against me, reminded me it was there, made it unforgettable. It pushed on the cups of my bra, but showed little bumps where breasts might be, and made it impossible to forget that, too. And while I was dressed, I felt a special sense of helplessness, maybe. Vulnerability? It was hard to tell. But all I could manage was to take Kylie's hand while Marnie prattled about how cute we were. "Kylie, sweetie?" I looked away from Ellie and up at Mommy with wide, glossy eyes. Huh? Was she talking? "Take your sister out to the living room and I'll catch up, okay?" I nodded my head and led the girl by the hand out of our bedroom. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon! 5 Link to comment
YourFNF Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 19 hours ago, Sophie ♥ said: Chapter Thirty I looked away from Ellie and up at Mommy with wide, glossy eyes. Huh? Was she talking? "Take your sister out to the living room and I'll catch up, okay?" I nodded my head and led the girl by the hand out of our bedroom. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon! ASKjdsajkhgkdahgkjhagkjsdkjg fdnvnmcvbcxngvbskdgffuuuhhhhh How is this so hot while being completely nonsexual..... ??? 3 Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted December 22, 2020 Author Share Posted December 22, 2020 On 12/20/2020 at 11:36 AM, YourFNF said: How is this so hot while being completely nonsexual..... ??? ^ This. Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted December 22, 2020 Author Share Posted December 22, 2020 Chapter Thirty-One The living room looked bigger than I remembered. Littlespace had a weird way of distorting the world. I stood awkwardly in the middle of the room and looked at Ellie nervously. The bra and the onesie and the diaper... it gave her a really nice figure. Hips. Chest. And her tiny tummy. Then, before I could say anything, Mommy came out with her make-up box and a hair brush. Make-up? Mommy never let me wear make-up... though I guess I never asked. "It's a special treat for my special girls tonight - usually make-up is a day time thing for going out, but Ellie loves it a whole lot and I wanted to make you both happy little princesses tonight. And you are both going to be so cute!" I loved it. I mean, I loved it? It was make-up, it was okay. I felt strangely off balance, but I managed a smile. Why was I always so quiet here? Mommy turned on the TV to one of my shows - something quite childish that I only watched during nighttime rules - and I was immediately roped in. Mommy knew exactly how to appeal to my Little side. I started to talk a little more. Babbling about the characters. Explaining to Ellie who everyone was. But I never bothered to look over to see if she was paying attention. Then I felt a tug on my hair and I tried to swat Mommy's hairbrush away. "If you want your hair to be a mess sweetie, then you keep swatting. But if you want to wear the pretty hair bows I got you to match your sister’s headband, you should behave." During the show, during the commentary, I was transformed somewhat further; I had a flower headband in my head, and I was meticulously made up with a level of finesse that made me look equal parts doll, child, and princess. Almost ethereal. Of course, I didn't know what I looked like yet, but I trusted Mommy. I mean Marnie. Marnie. I bit my painted lip softly when Kylie turned to look at me. My episode ended. Mommy had brushed through my hair and was tying it into pigtails. She liked to do that sometimes and it definitely made me look younger. But Ellie... she was another story. In a way, she looked like a child. Onesie, with a diaper poking out of the legbands. Soft blush on her cheeks. And that vacant, shy smile. But in another way, she looked rather grown up. Her short hair was styled fashionably, and a headband of flowers sat in the middle of it. Her small breasts gave her body gentle curves. And her bare thighs - spread apart - were milky white and smooth. The little girl in me felt a little jealous. And the big girl in me felt something very different. My cheeks turned pink and I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. Speechless. I wasn't usually speechless, even in Littlespace. I demanded attention. But I had never paled to someone before, not like this. Not when it mattered. "You have something to say?" Marnie asked. I closed my mouth and blushed. "Y-you're... uh..." I had to look away from Ellie to even talk. "Very pretty..." Marnie looked curiously at Ky for just a minute while she fastened the flower clips into her hair. Usually, when she was this little, Kylie wouldn't shut up. Why was she still so embarrassed? Maybe she still needed an extra push. Maybe Marnie needed to kick things up a notch. "You two wait here, Mommy needs to check on something in the kitchen." I wasn't sure I was ready to be alone like this, but I guess I'd never been afraid of being alone with Ky before. She was my bestie. And that's pretty much what a sister is, right? I decided to break the ice, such as it were. "Do I look silly?" I spoke softly, not much louder than a whisper - maybe out of bashfulness, maybe because my voice made me feel incongruent to all of this. "Nuh uh," I muttered, unable to look at her. "You really, really don't. You look... really nice. And... um..." I looked down at my onesie, at the puffiness between my legs. So obviously wearing a diaper. Wasn't I an adult? This felt stupid... "Do I look silly?" I asked, without looking up. "You look beautiful. Like a Princess. Or a Pixie." Those were the two descriptors that jumped into my head, but I said them with such conviction, such focus and certainty, that I might as well have been making a proclamation. "Not silly at all." Beautiful. I blushed anew and smiled to myself, kicking my feet. Mommy came back a minute a minute later with two baby bottles in her hands. I pouted a bit and crossed my arms. I hated bottles! They took forever to drink and they weren't satisfying at all! Even in nighttime rules, Mommy let me use a sippy cup. So, something interesting happened. I wasn't sure why - I'd probably fret over it for the next week - but when she brought the bottles in to the living room, I didn't feel wonder about the calorie count. "Come here my little princesses," Marnie said, sitting on the sofa. "One each, heads on lap." "Nuh uh," I said with a pout. My arms were still crossed and I used my body language to be perfectly clear. "I get sippy cups! You said so!" I didn't want to cause a rift, and I didn't want to get caught up in a tantrum, so I sat quietly on the sofa next to Marnie, but didn't lay down. Kylie would need to take the lead. Marnie sighed and took a second to collect herself, before getting real stern with Kylie. "Kylie, you are being a very bad influence on your sister. Do you want her to think it's okay to be a pouty pumpkin over everything that doesn't go her way? 'Cause Princess See, Princess Do, and Mommy needs your help on this one. So lay your tush down here and let Mommy feed you, before Ellie starts thinking willful grown up things." Her speech knocked all the wind out of my sails. I looked blankly at her, then down at my feet. I didn't want to set a bad example. That wasn't the point! But bottles were so annoying... "I dun see why I gotta have one 'cause Ellie does," I muttered. "She's littler than me..." "Only by a few days, but that still makes you the big sister and you still have to set a good example. Now come on, your formula is going to go cold and I know you hate it when it's cold." Formula. That's nice. I was fidgeting with the plastic peering out from the onesie, absently. My resistance was faltering. But Mommy's "formula" was always really good. She mixed a lot of it herself, with a sweet vanilla-cream flavor. And I was thirsty... "Fine," I muttered and uncrossed my arms. From Marnie's point of view, things were back on track. Bratty, whiny Kylie was as normal as she could hope for. Marnie put a new episode on the TV; maybe Ellie wasn't that interested, but it would distract Kylie at least. She got both of her little girls to lie their heads on her lap - on opposite sides - and guided the nipples of the bottles to their mouths. Usually, I'd have asked a million questions and made just as many excuses. I'd have bargained, whined, squirmed out of any situation that forced me to ingest anything, because my anxiety could really only be sated by complete control. And yet, here we were. No control. Lips open. Bottle in mouth. I recognized the taste of no-fat oat milk, a faint flavor of artificial sweetener - this whole bottle was probably less than 50 calories. And even so, I couldn't find the part of my brain that would have cared. I just... let it happen. And boy were bottles frustrating! For all my resistance, the bottle was very relaxing. The soft heat of the artificial milk, the motion of my lips against the nipple, the glow of the television off my glossy eyes... I started to melt into Mommy's lap. I sunk into the couch and watched the colors swirl around on the screen. I felt... entranced, in a way. Like moving my hands was too much work. Like looking away from my TV show was just a silly thought. And by the time the episode was over, the oversized bottle was empty and I was resting peacefully with half-closed eyes. Mommy's fingers played with my hair. I felt like... like I wouldn't rather be anywhere else. Or maybe like nowhere else existed. Another episode came on and I felt something between my lips. I sucked the pacifier without a thought. I half expected more milk when the bottle was replaced, but what came to follow didn't provide anything of the sort - just a chewy nipple in my mouth and that was that. A pacifier, I realized, only after the fact. Marnie spent a lot of time playing with Kylie's hair, cooing to her, encouraging her good behavior. I was a calmer kind of four year, I guess, diaper and onesie and pacifier and all. Was that something to take pride in? I mean, it was nice to be good at something. How many episodes did we watch? Three, or four? Maybe more. I shifted around a few times, to lie more comfortably on Mommy's lap, until I wanted to sit up. Then I kept my head on her arm. Until I wanted to move around. Then I slid to the floor like I always did when I watched TV, with my legs spread apart and leaning forward like a toddler. All the while, I sucked my paci. Or chewed it sometimes. Or spun it around with my tongue. My mouth had a mind of its own when I was in Littlespace. I didn't even notice when Mommy got up off the sofa. I conversely stayed on the sofa, although I did wind up sitting once Marnie got up and went to... the kitchen, maybe? The kitchen, I think, yeah. Maybe her room. Maybe Kylie's. I was really too focused on watching Kylie to notice too much - she moved around easily and effortlessly, but also inelegantly, just like a child. It wasn't really until now that it really sunk in just how different she was like this, how separate, how distinct, and how carefree. I wanted to say something to her, to talk about how... how darling, she was? Maybe. How attractive. Was that weird? The episode ended and the next one didn't start automatically. I pouted and turned around to pester Mommy, but she wasn't there. I blinked in surprise, then looked up at Ellie on the sofa. She had a pacifier in her mouth. She looked just like a little babydoll. I chewed shyly on the pacifier and sunk a little bit into the carpet. Mommy came back into the room and I pointed at the TV. But she shook her head and held up a clear plastic box of crayons. I puffed out my cheeks and pointed again to the TV. "Mommy's going to have you do some crayons for a bit, Smylie. You know that too much TV is bad for your pretty little eyes, isn't it? And I'm sure your sister hasn't done crayons before, so you need to teach her, unless you want someone else to teach your sister how to color?" Oh. Me. I'm the sister. I tried to interject that I was sure I'd used crayons before, but the first sound came out muffled by the pacifier and I didn't push the issue. I looked sideways at Ellie and then away from her. Mommy set down the box of crayons and the stack of coloring books, patting the top of my head on her way through to the kitchen. I shifted awkwardly in place, crinkling with every movement, and sucked a little harder on my pacifier. Well, sitting here wouldn't do me any good, would it? So I moved over to the coloring books and started leafing through them, trying to find a picture I liked. A lot were half-finished. But every time I came back to the books, I wanted to start a new one! I took some initiative and slid down from the sofa cushion onto the carpet. Remarkably, with this thing on my butt, the comfort level didn't really change. I crinkled loudly though, and that was certainly something new. Kylie stared at me for a second, then chewed her pacifier, and went back to looking at her books. What was the etiquette here? "Wan help?" I finally asked, disjointedly and difficulty. I shook my head, avoiding eye contact with Ellie. I kept leafing through the books until I found a page I liked. A castle, with a princess at the top. She had short hair, though, and I had long hair. But Ellie had short hair? I could color it for her? I felt a little warm. I didn't know what else to say, and Kylie seemed really engrossed in her books and I didn't want to push her, so I wound up sorting her crayons from the clear box. Color order. Red's together, she has... six... no, seven. Orange next, hmm... Marnie came back into the room with a smile on her face, but it quickly fell. She looked at Kylie coloring alone and Ellie organizing crayons. Hm... "No, no sweetie... you don't have to put them in order." Marnie sat down beside Ellie and opened up one of the books. "You pick a picture you want to color, okay? Any one you want. Isn't that right, Smylie?" Kylie shrugged her shoulders. What was up with this girl? It was hard not to think that maybe I'd upset her, but Marnie was pretty doting and sweet and thankfully that thought didn't get much traction. "How about you color this one for me, Ellie, and I'll put it on the fridge when you're done?" "Okay..." The picture was already partly colored in, a fairy with a crown and a wand shooting magic. I liked that, even though each of the wings were already colored in a mismatched way. "Good girl, Ellie." Then Marnie did something I had safely never experienced in recent memory: she slid her fingers into the leg of my onesie and right into the diaper I was wearing, made a satisfied noise, and went to Kylie to repeat the gesture. What the heck was that about?! I watched Mommy check Ellie's diaper with curiosity, and a bit of a blush on my cheeks. But then she approached me and I tried to push her away. "Be good," she said sternly. I pouted. With one finger, she put it in the leg-band of my onesie, of my diaper, and nodded with a smile. I blushed deeply and went back to coloring. Even before our new nighttime rules, Mommy always checked me like that. She knew I wasn't wet! She just did it to embarrass me! Or to remind me I wasn't a big girl anymore. One in the same, if you asked me... Mommy left the room again and I laid down on my tummy with my head on my arm and went back to coloring. "Wha' color?" I asked, gesturing at the fairies left wing with my head tilted to one side. Kylie looked up at me, blushed, and looked back at her own coloring page. Had I done something wrong? I frowned. Blue, it was. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon! 4 Link to comment
Sofi Posted December 22, 2020 Share Posted December 22, 2020 This story is absolutely adorable and i really really really hope nothing bad happens. My heart wont be able to take it if something bad happens to our trio. <3 Link to comment
YourFNF Posted December 22, 2020 Share Posted December 22, 2020 6 hours ago, Sophie ♥ said: I closed my mouth and blushed. "Y-you're... uh..." I had to look away from Ellie to even talk. "Very pretty..." Awwww Little cutie has a crush.... Also I can't wait to see these two get their first wet change together.... Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted December 23, 2020 Author Share Posted December 23, 2020 8 hours ago, Sofi said: This story is absolutely adorable and i really really really hope nothing bad happens. My heart wont be able to take it if something bad happens to our trio. ❤️ Fingers crossed!! Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted December 23, 2020 Author Share Posted December 23, 2020 Chapter Thirty-Two Marnie sulked in the kitchen with her arms crossed, occasionally peeking out at her two little charges. Last time they played together, Kylie couldn't shut up! And now she wasn't even speaking to Ellie. Maybe she was upset with her or something? Or was she embarrassed to be in a diaper? She had never worn one in front of anyone but Marnie, so... Marnie thought for a minute and decided to try a new form of action. Maybe her Littlespace was too intense right now. Marnie needed to reel it in a little. So she went to her cabinet and fished through the bottles until she found what she was looking for. Non toxic lemon soap. She had done a lot of research on things like caster oil, but Marnie wasn't that mean. She grabbed a large spoon and went back out to meet her girls. "Kylie, could you come here a moment?" "Kylie," Marnie repeated, crossing her arms this time for emphasis. One more repeat, and she'd do a middle name drop right here and now. Thankfully, Kylie pouted and got to her feet, toddling over with a noisy chorus of crinkling. "You were naughty earlier, and Mommy hasn't forgotten. Open your mouth wide, say ahh." Obviously, she wouldn't, and that would be fine. Marnie had plans. I blinked at her in surprise. Naughty? I wasn't naughty! I tried to defend myself, but the pacifier muffled my speech. I forgot I was sucking on it. I pulled it from my lips and tried again. "I didn' do nothin' wrong!" Already, I sounded a lot more like myself, albeit a very childish Littlespace kind of self. "Sweetheart, Mommy can remind you what happened earlier, right here in front of your sister, or you can remember how unkind you were and we won't need to discuss it." She uncapped the bottle of soap, slowly and deliberately, holding the spoon in her other hand. Oh. I forgot about that. I looked at her, then at the soap, and shook my head. No way! No way she was putting that in my mouth! Nuh uh! I closed my lips tight and crossed my arms. "Kylie Miranda, you know Mommy doesn't like to have to punish you, but it's for your own good. Now I'm going to count to three, and you're going to open your mouth or else I'm going to take you over my lap and spank your diapered tush." My eyes went wide. I... I mean... she'd done it before. Not often. Not in a long time, actually. But early on, when I would do bad things. And... well, getting spanked over a woman's lap makes you feel like a child no matter how old you are. It helped a lot with Littlespace back then, but I didn't want it now! Not with Ellie sitting right there. I cautioned a glance back at her. So cute! So confused. But watching us. And Mommy hadn't kept her voice low. She must have heard. I bit my lip and looked down at my feet. "I said sorry," I tried, as Mommy poured the soap onto a spoon. "Open up," she said. Kylie closed her eyes and opened her mouth. "There's a good girl, let's wash all those icky words out of your mouth, okay?" I watched from the floor as Marnie fed my best friend soap. Soap. Like, washing soap. She put the spoon in her mouth and she held Kylie's lips closed, while at the same time pulling her into her chest to play with her hair. I tried to swallow it fast. But my throat didn't let me. It was slimy and slippery and gross! It was like eating snot or something! I finally managed to get it down, only after it coated my tongue. I stuck it out of my mouth and felt tears filling my eyes. "Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew... water, water, water!" "A bottle, hm?" Mommy asked. I shot her a sharp look and stomped my foot on the floor. "So no water then?" My expression faded from agitation to defeat. Ugh... "Bottle, please," I lisped, keeping my tongue stuck out. It tasted awful... By the time Marnie had filled an empty baby bottle with water from the fridge, I'd climbed to my feet and wandered over out of nothing but concern for my best friend. I still had the pacifier between my lips, though, and I didn't know if I was supposed to move it. Words were tricky with it in, so I stood there quietly. I turned around and almost bumped into her. She smiled slightly behind her pacifier and I felt a hint of color fill my cheeks. I put my tongue back in my mouth and looked away from her. Jeeze... "Here you go, Smylie," Mommy said, handing Kylie the baby bottle. "Now we can put the whole thing behind us, hm? You're such a good girl." I nodded softly and popped the bottle between my lips. Immediately, the water helped, but everything tasted like lemons. Ew, ew, ew... "You otay?" Otay. Okay. Okay was what I meant, but everything sounded silly with this thing in my mouth. I took her hand, the one that wasn't holding her bottle, as a kind of 'I'm here for you' gesture, just in case she wasn't okay. Soap sounded awful! Ellie took her by the hand and led her back to the coloring stuff. Ellie went back to her coloring book and Kylie went back to hers. And Marnie stood there watching them. Even after the punishment, Kylie slid right back into her quiet mood. But she had just been acting like herself a moment ago! Maybe she just had to get over this initial embarrassment? Maybe it just took time? With a sigh, Marnie went back into the kitchen to put the soap away. She had a few hours before she had to get her little ones ready for bedtime. "Do you wanna color one together?" I finally took the pacifier out of my mouth, which might have earned Marnie's ire, but I was just worried I'd upset Kylie and I wanted her to like me. What an insecure little princess I'd become. "Oh, um..." I spoke around the bottle. It was half-gone and my mouth still tasted vaguely like floor polish. I looked at Ellie's pretty face, her pretty eyes, and down at her pretty drawing. Did she do everything perfectly? Jeeze... "I... uh..." "We could do different parts? I could do that part," I pointed an uncolored area of her page with a hopeful smile, "you can pick the colors, I'll just help? Then when," Marnie, "Mommy," saying that out loud brought all sorts of complicated feelings, "puts it on the fridge, we'll know its ours?" Ours. I looked at her blankly as my cheeks took on more and more color. I opened my mouth to... to... say something? Uh. Something. And. Uh. I couldn't really remember what. So I put my bottle back in my mouth and sucked nervously. What the heck... She pushed the coloring book between us and scooted closer to me. I felt hot. Like, maybe I had a fever? Do people get sick from eating soap? I'd always liked being closer to Kylie, but here, now, the thing we shared - the vulnerability, the secret, the fact we were both dressed like toddlers, diapers and all - it made it feel like we'd crossed a threshold. Like we could be closer now than we could before. Maybe it was just in my head. I took her left hand with my right hand and set about coloring. Perks of being left handed. I didn't color, not right away. She held my hand and I sucked my bottle with my other hand, lying sideways on the carpet. She was so focused on the paper, she didn't even see me staring at her. At her cheeks and her eyes and her hair. At her lips, glossy and pushed together in concentration. The bottle went empty and I set it aside. It took a little bit of time for me to realize she was staring at me - Kylie would glare sometimes, but this wasn't glaring, this was... well, I didn't know. Maybe like the way I would watch her when she wasn't looking, when I was knee deep in my puppy lovey crush on her beautiful face. And she was extra lovely today. "Be right back," I muttered, and pulled my hand out of hers. I fumbled to my feet and hurried out of the room, crinkling with every step. I hadn't colored even a little bit on her drawing - I almost thought I would ruin it if I tried! She was a much better colorer than me... I walked into the kitchen and put my bottle in the sink. Mommy was a few feet away, sitting at the dining table with her laptop in front of her. From that spot, I knew she could see into the living room. I hadn't even noticed her. Until now, I had wondered about our new nighttime rules. Obviously we would be using the old ones, right? I mean, this was Ellie's first time! So... so it made sense, right? I took a deep breath and waddled up to Mommy, biting my lip. I tugged on her shirt to get her attention and played with my fingers in front of me. "Can I use the potty, please...?" Two bottles was probably a mistake. Marnie looked up from her screen, her face carrying a look of bemused puzzlement for a second before she finally showed some realization. "Oh, sweetheart, you don't need to ask permission to use your diaper." ...well, that answered that question. New rules it was. I puffed out my cheeks and looked into the living room. Ellie was still coloring, so I dropped my voice to a whisper. "I don't think it's fair to do that right now. 'Cause this whole thing is very new, right? And Ellie has to follow the same rules as me, right? So it's best to ease her into things." Marnie likewise returned her answer as a whisper. "And Ellie doesn't know any other way of things, so she'll do as she's told like a good little girl. If we muddle things up now by mixing rules, we'll only confuse her pretty little head, won't we?" "...well, um..." I crossed my arms and looked a little annoyed. I hated when she did this! Always had something to say. And I hated it even more when I couldn't come up with a counter argument. "Is this why you're so shy tonight, hm?" Mommy asked. "You're embarrassed about your diapers?" "Shy?" I repeated. "Are you shy about wearing your diapers in front of Ellie? Shy about using them?" Marnie was pointed with her questioning, and she didn't give much room for misunderstandings. "Don't you think she's much shyer? You've done this before, sweetie, and this is all very new for her. Do you want her to be shy and shamed, when it comes time for Ellie to use her diapers? Or do you want her to accept it as normal, like you do?" "Okay! One, I do not think it's normal!" I had unintentionally raised my voice a little. "And two, I'm not shy. Just because it's weird and I don't really see why I should, 'cause you know, I'm an adult?" Littlespace was all but gone in that moment. But when Ellie appeared in the doorway, with her coloring book in hand, I shut up all the same. I took one look at her and crossed my arms, looking away. "And these are the rules, Kylie Miranda, and that's just about as simple as that. Do you want to make a fuss? Do you want to tell your sister what you're making a fuss about?" I looked hopeful at the idea of being included in something. Marnie watched Kylie look down at her feet and blush. Marnie gave her a pat on her padded butt and ushered her back into the living room. Weirdly enough, she listened. No snappy remark. No pout, no argument. Something was definitely up with her, and Marnie was starting to think it didn't have anything to do with her Littlespace. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon! 4 Link to comment
YourFNF Posted December 23, 2020 Share Posted December 23, 2020 14 hours ago, Sophie ♥ said: Marnie went back into the kitchen to put the soap away. She had a few hours before she had to get her little ones ready for bedtime. Wow Marnie fails a perception check for once ? Can't wait to see where this goes Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted December 24, 2020 Author Share Posted December 24, 2020 Chapter Thirty-Three "I did some stuff." I showed her that I'd done some coloring, but she didn't seem all that interested - she was just quiet and almost... bashful. Which was odd, given we were both in the same boat. Maybe I could remind her? Help her to see she wasn't alone? "Kylie, I'm wearing a diaper, I don't know if you noticed." "I... uh." I looked at her. Her face. Her onesie. Her chest. Her waist. The puffiness between her legs. Ooh, I felt warm... "I know that...?" Even now, my voice was only above a whisper. I poked at the diaper through the onesie, tried to squeeze my legs together and absolutely could not, and looked up at Kylie with a ditzy little smile. "It's comfortable. Makes me feel weird, but nice." Encouragement, right? "Y-yeah..." I looked at her for a moment, then down at my coloring book. "Yeah, um... yeah..." Why couldn't I form a sentence? Was I really so embarrassed? I usually dealt with embarrassment by yelling or something, like when Ellie figured out the name of my elephant. Maybe this wasn't helping; maybe I was barking up the wrong tree. I fiddled with the pacifier in my hand and offered something final, before I popped it back between my lips. "Thanks for inviting me and sharing with me." I nodded softly, a smile on my lips. Sharing it with her. She sucked on her pacifier and passed me the coloring book. A lot of it was already done, but some spots still needed some color. "Oh, I... I dun wanna mess it up," I muttered. Caution wasn't really a Kylie-esque thing to have. But it was so pretty! "Mesth it up?" I looked at her, confused, and realized all at once that she was feeling something pretty insurmountable to an adult, much less a four year old. She was feeling inferior. I blinked a few times to process that, because it seemed so crazy to me, and then took my pacifier right back out. "But your coloring is so pretty, Kylie, and your colors, and you're…" What do you say to a kid? “You even stay in the lines a LOT, and also you are so pretty, too. Prettiest girl I know." I blushed a little, refusing to look up from the paper. I wasn't as good a colorer as Ellie, but... "I can do this part, I guess? Um... maybe, uh... a green color?" Was I asking? Why did I care what she thought? Ugh, I was all over the place! "Green would be really pretty; how about this one?" I offered her a crayon, and then two more, "or one of these?" I knew which one I liked the most - color was one of my strong topics - but I wanted her to feel important. "Okay..." I picked one and started to color, focusing harder than I probably should have to match Ellie's techniques. Thick outlines, with soft interiors. How did she make it look so fluid? After a while, we were done. I mean, she did most of the work, but it looked pretty good! I got to my feet first and shifted from one foot to the other. "Umm... I'm gonna get Ellie, um, the elephant, not um..." Obviously not her! I blushed a little and hurried down the hall. "Oh, um!" But she was already gone. I put my pacifier back between my lips and chased after her to the bedroom, because I wanted Owlive, too! I picked Ellie up off the bed and hugged her to my chest. Then I sat on the edge of the bed. I'd had to pee for the better part of two hours, and Mommy wasn't gonna let me get away with using the bathroom. But no way was I doing it in front of Ellie! So... I made an excuse. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, pretending I was in the bathroom. On the toilet. Not wearing a diaper around my hips. The first few times, I couldn't even go! But I was getting better at it, as long as I played a bit of make believe. With a gentle sigh, I felt a wave of relief. Warm wetness filled the space between my legs, soaking my baby-powdered skin, only to be wicked away by the diaper. It lasted a few seconds, then a few more. Maybe twenty or thirty. And by the time I was done, my diaper was well and truly soaked. But I felt a lot better. It took me a moment to realize what I was seeing when I stood in the doorway. I couldn't see her diaper, I couldn't hear anything, but her face told a pretty dramatic story in three acts. Should I stay? Should I go? If I pretended I didn't see anything, then I'd just be a voyeur, and if I stayed, she'd get cross with me. Shoot. Uh. Improvise? Kylie clearly wet her diaper, and I didn't know how to feel about that. Like, practically it made sense, but... I guess I never really pictured it? I knocked on the door frame and smiled bashfully behind the pacifier. Maybe she wouldn't think I'd been here the whole time. If it hadn't been for the snap-crotch onesie, I might have leapt right out of my diaper! I sprung immediately to my feet and held Ellie the Elephant tight to my chest. My heart was racing, and I could feel anxiety building inside me. But I couldn't close my legs. Now that the diaper was wet, it was even more noticeable. The onesie. The stuffed animal. Even the pigtails. And then there was Ellie, in the doorway. So cute! Polished. Painted. Dressed like a toddler. All of it together really put my anxiety at ease. Littlespace really was magical sometimes. "I... um. I found her," I said quickly. She hadn't seen anything. And even if she had, she wouldn't know any better. The perks of diapers, I suppose. I forced a smile and pushed past her, waddling awkwardly down the hall. "Um, have you seen Owlive?" I tugged on her hand just before she got out of reach. "I want Owlive." Gosh, I sounded like a kid, huh? When in Rome I guess. She took my hand and I felt warm again. I looked at her fingers in mine. I wondered if she would want to do nails. I didn't usually do nails, but she would look nice with pretty nails. Right? She was so much prettier than me... "Huh?" "Owlive," I repeated. "Oh... uh. Yeah..." I walked her over to the shelf of plushies where Owlive was sitting, and pointed to her. "Oh, thank you! I was worried that they'd miss me." That was a little kid thing to think, right? Was overthinking being a kid counter-intuitive to being a kid? Maybe. But I didn't know anything right then, because my best friend had just wet herself and all she smelled like was scented baby powder. I led the way back into the living room, where Mommy was waiting. Maybe she was done with her computer stuff? It felt like we had been coloring for forever, or maybe only for a few minutes. It was hard to tell sometimes. "Ready to clean up, my little princesses?" she asked. "Did you finish your coloring?" "I think we did," I thought for a second and I was pretty pleased with how much we’d done. "Are you gonna put it on the fridge Mommy?" That word became easier each time I said it. It was kind of like calling a step-mother 'Mom' and that probably just took time, right? Ellie gave Mommy the coloring book to show off our page we did together. I stood awkwardly by the wall, holding Ellie the Elephant tight in my arms. "Ohh this is so good! Did you do this all by yourself, Ellie?" "Nuh uh, Kylie helped." "Wow, it's so gorgeous! This is definitely going on the fridge. Make sure to put both your names on it, okay?" Oh yeah, Marnie liked when I signed my art. I forgot about that. But I didn't do a lot of work, really... "You go firs," I nudged, grinning behind the pacifier. Mostly I wanted her to feel important, but also kinda I wasn't sure how I was going to sign my name. Ellie, right? I was Ellie here? But did I write like normal? Like a girl? Like a child? Kylie going first would help, I hoped. I sat down on my butt, which squished under my weight, and blushed furiously. I took a green crayon and wrote in the corner, with straight lines and a bit of an odd grip: KYLIE. I didn't mean to make it look childish, but it came out that way all the same. I passed the book over to Ellie without saying a word. Ellie. With a capital E on the end and at the beginning, because that felt like something a kid would write. And I dotted the i with a little heart, because that seemed like something a girl would write. And I used a blue crayon, because I liked blue. And then, finally, I looked at Kylie for approval. Gosh, she was cute... Mommy took the book and tore out the page, very carefully of course. Then she went into the kitchen and Ellie and I followed behind her like lost puppies. Sure enough, she stuck it to the fridge with a magnet - next to the first drawing I ever colored for her - and patted us each on the head. "I am so proud of the both of you." She said it with more sincerity than I'd ever heard from my own mother. I felt a surge of happiness in my chest, like I'd done the first thing right in my entire life. "I culd," I puffed out my cheeks and removed the pacifier, "I couldn't have done it without the best sister ever." That ought to make her smile! I put my arm around her, and then both arms really, and hugged her good and proper and tight. It seemed the right thing to do. I hesitated to hug her back. Not because I didn't want to! I just... I sort of forgot what I was doing. Her arms around me. So I slowly put mine around her too. And I felt really... um... something. Very nice. Mommy looked at me with a curious smile and clapped her hands to get our attention. "Alright you two, go clean up and we'll get you ready for bed." "Yes Mommy," I'd hoped we'd have said it at the same time, in unison all cute-like, but I was too enthusiastic and Kylie was all shy again all of a sudden and she basically mumbled. I didn't let it get to me, and I took her by the hand to take her to the pile of crayons we'd dumped out. "Are you okay?" I whispered, once we were sitting. "Am I being okay?" "Wha...? You... what?" She was worried about something? Like, she was doing something wrong? I shook my head and started to put the crayons in the bucket, crawling around the floor on my hands and knees with my puffy butt in the air. "N-nuh uh. No. Um. You're... wonderful. Um. Sorry..." I honestly didn't know what was going on with me! "Okay, good." I nodded. A girl’s butt was something I usually take the opportunity to glance at maybe, but the way that Kylie's was so... puffy, so pronounced, padded and crinkly and soft... if anything, it made me more attracted to her. Was that weird? I guess above all, it was how vulnerable she was like this. She had no walls up. It made me feel special to be allowed to see her this way, and it was very, uh... alluring. Connecting. We finished putting our stuff away left the box and books stacked together in the living room. I knew where they went - in the closet, on the left side. But Mommy would put them away. "Do you think you could show your sister how to brush her teeth?" Mommy asked, as she picked up the box of crayons from the floor. "Or do you need Mommy's help?" "I... um... I can..." Still so quiet. Toothbrush. I hadn't thought to bring my overnight bag at all, that was so thoughtless of me. Gosh. I never usually ate enough that my teeth had any real use, but I was pretty compulsive about cleaning them all the same. I bit my lip and fidgeted. "I forgot to bring my toothbrush." "I, um. Well, you have one from... last time so..." Mommy always kept extras, and Ellie had claimed one a week or so ago, the last time the two of us were here. But this teeth-brushing experience was different to last time. It wasn't quick and painless. It wasn't routine. No, we both stood awkwardly, a foot apart, in front of a large mirror, reminding us what little girls we were. It was the first time that day I saw my hair in pigtails, and I was sure the soggy diaper was fuller between my legs. Moreover, I couldn't keep myself from glancing over at Ellie through the mirror. She must know, right? How pretty she was? ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon! 5 Link to comment
YourFNF Posted December 26, 2020 Share Posted December 26, 2020 The crush is so adorable ? Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted December 29, 2020 Author Share Posted December 29, 2020 Chapter Thirty-Four The mirror remained a phantom, a scary prospect to which I might have hyperventilated on approach, all the way up until the point I was standing in front of it. And I opened my eyes. And I was reminded of how congruent it all was. The stranger in the mirror, like I was looking through a window instead. Me, and not me, and that was okay. I smiled, and posed, and tried to trick her up, catch her out, but she was still my reflection. I looked at Kylie in the mirror and saw that she was looking right at me. "Is it... weird for you? To see me like this?" My toothbrush was in my mouth and I was drowning in sudsy toothpaste, but I'd gotten quite good at talking around things between my lips. "Weird...? Dunno... I... um..." I spit into the sink and rinsed my toothbrush. My reflection in the mirror was blushing. "Weird, not bad...? So... good weird...? Or... something..." "Good weird." I could live with that. "I like being Ellie," I confessed and shrugged my shoulders, stuffed my toothbrush in my mouth, and continued to clean. I nodded my head in agreement. I liked her being Ellie as well. Mommy came in, looking at me in the mirror. She leaned in and kissed my cheek from behind and tickled my sides. It forced me to smile, even though I hated being tickled! Then I felt her finger slide up the back of my thigh and into the seat of my diaper. As realization filled Mommy's eyes, I blushed deeper. Shoot... Marnie could have been subtle about it, but a part of her new rules was total and complete normalization when under her roof. Some blushy bashfulness was fine, but her baby girls were to know their place and know their roles here. It was a very short pause between her discovering how wet Kylie was and her proclamation. "Oh, my little Princess Smylie needs a change, doesn't she?" Her fingers next went into Ellie's diaper the same way, and she pursed her lips. "I think we can wait until your sister is wet, that way I change you both at once." I blinked. Blinked loud enough to be audible, I was sure. My jaw dropped in astonishment. Ellie looked at me through the mirror and I could see that same astonishment on her face. We were both frozen for a good five seconds. But when Mommy left the room, I stormed out after her. "Hey! That was SO uncool!" I was yelling as loud as a whisper would let me, and the blush on my cheeks was the least of my worries. Oh. My. God! "I think uncool is probably storming out after me when your sister is in there dealing with the fact that she's going to be wetting herself tonight. She needs you right now, and these new nighttime rules are a result of your behavior. So don't you be a stroppy sookie lala for me, little miss." I balled my hands at my sides and puffed out my cheeks in outright annoyance. I wasn't sure adulthood was something I could even feel wearing a soggy diaper and a onesie, but I sure was getting close! "You didn't have to tell her I was wet! Now she's gonna wonder when I did it, and if she was there, and she wasn't! And... ugh! You know you're being a very realistic mom right now by totally humiliating her daughter any chance she gets!" Weirdly enough, I seemed to care an awful lot what Ellie thought of me. Marnie smiled softly, and leaned down to kiss Kylie on the forehead. "This is something she needs to know, or every time you do it you'll endanger your happiness and your Littlespace. I handled it like a band-aid - now it's over, and what Ellie thinks about all this is going to be solely shaped on your behavior, sweetie. If you act ashamed and skittish and angry, she'll think this is something to be ashamed of. If you play it cool, she'll see there's nothing out of the ordinary. It's your choice, princess." Marnie tried to walk away and I followed at her heels until we were both in my bedroom. She was prepping new diapers for us and I was not done with this conversation. "It's very out of the ordinary!" I continued in a loud whisper. "I'm not a baby, and I don't want her to think it's ordinary!" "You're Mommy's Little Girl," Marnie countered, rubbing her chin over the topic of how many night time stuffers to use, "and Mommy knows best. If Mommy says that her little girl is her baby girl, then baby girl is going to use her diaper. No potty breaks, and that might mean for everything if you keep being such a pushy princess." Everything she said, every emphasis on her words, every carefully placed tone... I slid back into Littlespace as easily as a hot knife through butter. Mommy kissed me once on the forehead and pulled out two stuffers from the drawer. "W-well... well just... don't embarrass me," I muttered, crossing my arms over my onesie. "This is going to be Ellie's first time tonight, and you remember how scary that can be, don't you now? Will you help her?" Marnie was, at her core, an elite architect of the spoken word. I stuck out my tongue when Mommy's back was turned, and when she turned back I put it back in my mouth. I didn't need another spoonful of lemon soap... "I dun wanna," I said flatly. No, not flat. Not annoyed. Nervous? Quiet. Shy... I took a step back and looked at my feet. Shoot, what was going on with me? "Oh, you don't? Maybe you want to see Pretty Little Ellie, crying... holding her hands over her diaper, shaking her head oh no no please... as her legs tremble, and she finally loses her battle? A true accident, marking her as a true baby? Making it so clear that she simply needs diapers now, that she should only ever be out of them for the shortest measures of time, and only with Mommy's supervision..." Marnie didn't just spin a story, though. Kylie and her both knew full well the origins of that little tale, and it wasn't originally about Ellie, that was for sure. I sunk into myself and looked away from Mommy. She took two steps closer, running her fingers across my cheek, then tilting my gaze up to look at her. Reminding me of something like that, at a time like this... "I........ um.........." "Is that what you're hoping for, little princess? To craft and shape Ellie in your image, for her to follow in your footsteps? For her to know, deep in her heart," Marnie gently stroked Kylie's hair with her free hand, smiling, "that she's a Mommy's Girl now, and she always will be?" She so wasn't talking about Ellie and that much was not lost on me. She pulled me in close and rested my head on her shoulder, as her fingers trailed down my back and cupped the seat of my wet diaper, reminding me what I was wearing and what I had done. I felt like candle wax melting around a flame. "She's going to be the same, very very soon. You'll see, that precious little cherub. She's going to be the same as you - a diaper dependent little princess. My little princess, no going back. Just like you." Marnie squeezed the wet diaper, pulled Kylie close, and kissed her cheek one final time, but she didn't let Kylie go; her little girl was squirming and breathing softly, and so she knew full well how much Kylie needed to be held. Marnie was a lot stronger than me. A lot stronger than she looked! And I was all but jelly in a jar. She lifted me onto her hip and bounced me up and down, with her arms under my butt. Constantly crinkling. Constantly squishy. It could have been a minute or an hour before she set me down on the bed. I fell onto my back and a pacifier was pushed between my lips. I heard the sound of a diaper far away, but my eyes fluttered closed in the warm bliss of it all. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon! 5 Link to comment
YourFNF Posted December 30, 2020 Share Posted December 30, 2020 7 hours ago, Sophie ♥ said: Chapter Thirty-Four The mirror remained a p "She's going to be the same, very very soon. You'll see, that precious little cherub. She's going to be the same as you - a diaper dependent little princess. My little princess, no going back. Just like you." Marnie squeezed the wet diaper, pulled Kylie close, and kissed her cheek one final time, but she didn't let Kylie go; her little girl was squirming and breathing softly, and so she knew full well how much Kylie needed to be held. Marnie was a lot stronger than me. A lot stronger than she looked! And I was all but jelly in a jar. She lifted me onto her hip and bounced me up and down, with her arms under my butt. Constantly crinkling. Constantly squishy. It could have been a minute or an hour before she set me down on the bed. I fell onto my back and a pacifier was pushed between my lips. I heard the sound of a diaper far away, but my eyes fluttered closed in the warm bliss of it all. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon! Can I join the sleep over next time? OwO *squirms* Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted January 1, 2021 Author Share Posted January 1, 2021 On 12/30/2020 at 12:52 AM, YourFNF said: Can I join the sleep over next time? OwO *squirms* I'm sure El would invite you over! Though Ky would throw a fit about it and Marnie would have to put her in her place. Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted January 1, 2021 Author Share Posted January 1, 2021 Chapter Thirty-Five I didn't leave the bathroom - it felt conceited, a little bit at least, but all I wanted to do was look at myself in the mirror. I pulled myself up onto the counter so I could be closer, and I held hands with the girl in the reflection, with Ellie. Up close, I still couldn't find myself, the me I'd been before, and that felt... right. The onesie, the diaper, the pacifier? Those were... well, those were unique experiences. Would they help me show the kind of vulnerability that they granted Kylie? Would she find me so enticing as I found her? So many questions. Maybe I should go answer them. "Shh," Marnie said softly as Ellie entered the room. She had made the executive decision to get Kylie changed out of her wet diaper in privacy, and was just now snapping her onesie shut again. Whatever was going on with Ky tonight, she didn't want to cause any more friction. Plus, Kylie was so cute like this! Marnie patted the front of Kylie's diaper and left her little girl alone on the bed, making her way over to Princess Number Two. "It's bedtime soon, little one, and good little girls don't get out of bed once the lights are out. I'm going to get you and your sister some night-time bottles and then I'll check if you need changing. Any questions?" Despite her round-about way of saying it, she hoped she had made herself quite clear. "I guess I should use the bathroom first, then, huh?" I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling a bit dumb because I could have just done it when I was in there on my own. Oh well, what's a few minutes wasted, right? Oh, her little girls always were so silly when they first started out, weren't they? To think, Ellie didn't even get it when Marnie mentioned Kylie needing a change. But she wasn't above being direct. "Little girls don't use the bathroom here, princess. Mommy makes the rules, and Mommy has you and your sister in diapers for a reason. Now - Mommy will be back in a few minutes to check if you need a diaper change before bed. Otherwise, you'll be stuck in that same diaper until morning." With a kiss on her forehead, Marnie left Ellie alone with her sister. Oh. Oh. I mean, obviously - I'd literally watched Kylie wet herself in front of me, although she didn't know that I'd seen. I bit my lip, holding the pacifier, and looked at Kylie on the bed just a few feet away. She was clean now, she'd been changed. But she'd used her diaper just like a baby and she looked so relieved to do it. I... didn't think I could, honestly. I tried to press my knees together, and sighed, shaking my head. I had to go, but only a little bit. I could make it until the morning. Right? "Sorry she's like that," I muttered. But my voice was faraway. I sat up on the bed and looked at Ellie with red cheeks and glossy eyes. "She's... just trying to... um... help..." The weird thing was? She did. "Oh, I... I get it, I mean, I just don't need to go, that's all," I lied, casually. "I hope you're ready for cuddles, because I give such good cuddles that you're never going to wanna get outta bed." I changed the subject expertly. We had slept together before. Actually, we had slept in this exact bed before! But things felt different. I didn't know what. Because we were in diapers? Because she had a bra on? But my stomach was tied up in knots at just the thought of it, and I didn't know what to say. So I said nothing. Mommy came in a minute later with two bottles in her hands. She handed one to Ellie and put a finger between her legs, checking the diaper hidden by the onesie. Dry, of course. But she didn't make a big deal of it. She turned off the light and the nightlights kicked on. She grabbed a book from the shelf - one we had been reading yesterday - and sat on the edge of the bed. I didn't know if I could handle another bottle's worth of liquid in my bladder, but I was determined to be good about it. So I put the bottle to my lips and allowed myself to lay down. With a bedtime story, and Kylie in the bed, I was sure I'd be asleep in no time at all. The story was nice. Marnie's voice was soothing. I was in Littlespace through and through. I closed my eyes somewhere in the middle and I wondered if I fell asleep or Marnie just stopped early. She kissed Ellie and me both on the forehead and put the book back on the shelf. She cracked the door on the way out. I rolled over to face Ellie, who was probably asleep, but every movement echoed the crinkling of my diaper. It was so quiet. So peaceful. And she was so pretty in the soft glow of the nightlight. I inched a little closer and put my hand against hers, just so our pinkies were touching. What a long day... It felt like a dream; I got to fall asleep in bed with Kylie, holding hands, her face right next to mine. I woke up to something less comfortable, though. Kylie was wrapped around me, her leg up over my thighs and my... my diaper, right. And my bladder desperately telling me it was time to go to the bathroom. I wriggled a little, and Kylie stirred, and I held my breath. I had to squirm out of here without waking her up. I wasn't that cuddly a person, honestly. But since I started this whole Little thing with Marnie, well... I learned a lot of things about myself that I didn't know. Like wearing diapers is actually pretty relaxing. Like drinking from a sippy cup or a bottle isn't all that bad. Like when I feel like a little girl, I cuddle quite close to whatever is nearby. Another thing I learned, though, is that diapers can crinkle loud enough to wake someone up. "Mm... what are you doing?" I could only see the vague outline of Eliot as he pulled himself up from the bed. "Just going to the bathroom, Ky, don't worry about it." I didn't know what time it was, but maybe it was time to get my own clothes on anyway. ...bathroom? I rolled over and crinkled. Oh yeah. Eliot was almost out of the room when I called out to him: "Good luck." I wished him luck because there was no way Marnie didn't lock the bathroom door before going to bed. He'd be back in here quite soon. And like clockwork... "Bathroom door's locked," I grumbled. "I knocked, but Marnie's not in there. Should I wake her up?" Stupid boy. "Maybe you don't remember her speech before you went to bed?" I asked with my eyes closed. "You aren't allowed to leave the bed. If you wake her up, she'll spank you. And no, that isn't a joke." I knew from personal experience... Spank me. "That doesn't sound pleasant." When I went to bed, it felt like there was magic in the air, and now that magic was gone. And I felt... blah. "I don't wanna pee in this," I grumbled, sitting back on the edge of the bed. "Hold it," I suggested. But then again, Marnie probably wouldn't let that happen. Tomorrow was Sunday and she would make us breakfast. We wouldn't be big girls-- er... girl... and boy? I opened my eyes and let them adjust to the darkness of the room. Eliot didn't have that headband on anymore, and his makeup was a little smudged, but he certainly didn't look like a boy. I shied into the sheets and bit my lip. Damn... "I guess I'll try." I mumbled, laying back down in the bed in resignation. "Does it feel weird?" I asked, after a few minutes of of us both being quiet. Her head was under the covers, though, so maybe she was back asleep already. "...does what?" I had closed my eyes again. Trying to think of Eliot. The boy. My best friend. But I felt like my mind was... infected. Like... like her stupid cute girly face and her stupid cute girly hair and that bra and her onesie and... ugh! "You know um..." My voice squeaked a little bit, because this was embarrassing! "Wetting... yourself? Like, is it weird? I bet it feels weird. Wet, probably." I sighed and wriggled down under the covers, as well, ambushing my best friend under there. "I... uh. Dunno..." "You... don't know?" "I mean, I do! I mean, I..." Great, and now I'd admitted to wetting myself. Ugh! I heard the crinkling of her diaper-- his. His diaper. Her diaper. But when I opened my eyes, it was very clearly Ellie. I was glad blushing couldn't light up a room... "You keep looking at me and getting really quiet, you know? Like... hmm..." Anything to change topics, I guess. "If I had a penny to give you, I'd buy a thought, but for now I'm just going to have to rely on charity." "I... just forgot what you looked like," I muttered. "That you look........." I looked away from her. Down. At her small breasts through the onesie. At the puffiness between her legs. So cute. So adorable. I shook my head and bit my lip. "Am I pretty?" Maybe it was conceited — it'd certainly felt so in the bathroom in front of the mirror — but I realized only then that I'd seen that look before, the way she looked at me. It was the same way I looked at me, in the mirror tonight. I nodded my head. We were very close together, our knees touched and our arms touched, and our foreheads almost touched. And we were sisters, and we were dressed the same. Every small, insignificant movement caused us to crinkle the same. And... I was so warm under the blanket. "I'm glad you think so... I can't keep my eyes off the mirror, you know? Not like that first time when it made me cry. Now it just... makes me happy. Thanks for thinking I'm pretty." "Right..." Couldn't keep her eyes off the mirror? Hell, I was having the opposite problem! I could hardly even look at her without feeling nauseas. Was I jealous? Because she pulled off that cute pixie cut? Or because she looked sexier than me in a diaper? Diapers weren't even sexy! "I think you're thinking more than you're saying." I nudged her, onesie against onesie, thigh on thigh. "Something is on your mind I think." Something on my mind? Nothing has been on my mind all night! That was the problem. I look at her and I feel queasy and sick. I want to throw up! And I feel blushy and hot. I want to explode! And I don't have a single stupid thought in my stupid baby head to tell me why! She's just there and it makes me confused and jealous and frustrated and none of those things! And I just! I just want a stupid word that makes it all make sense! Instead, I leaned forward and pushed my lips to hers, because it felt like the right thing to do. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon! 5 Link to comment
YourFNF Posted January 1, 2021 Share Posted January 1, 2021 2 hours ago, Sophie ♥ said: I'm sure El would invite you over! Though Ky would throw a fit about it and Marnie would have to put her in her place. *giggles* Link to comment
YourFNF Posted January 1, 2021 Share Posted January 1, 2021 6 hours ago, Sophie ♥ said: Chapter Thirty-Five "Right..." Couldn't keep her eyes off the mirror? Hell, I was having the opposite problem! I could hardly even look at her without feeling nauseas. Was I jealous? Because she pulled off that cute pixie cut? Or because she looked sexier than me in a diaper? Diapers weren't even sexy! "I think you're thinking more than you're saying." I nudged her, onesie against onesie, thigh on thigh. "Something is on your mind I think." Something on my mind? Nothing has been on my mind all night! That was the problem. I look at her and I feel queasy and sick. I want to throw up! And I feel blushy and hot. I want to explode! And I don't have a single stupid thought in my stupid baby head to tell me why! She's just there and it makes me confused and jealous and frustrated and none of those things! And I just! I just want a stupid word that makes it all make sense! Instead, I leaned forward and pushed my lips to hers, because it felt like the right thing to do. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon! Just kiss already!! ?girl you got it bad Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted January 1, 2021 Author Share Posted January 1, 2021 15 hours ago, YourFNF said: Just kiss already!! ?girl you got it bad I think they have to be married first. 1 Link to comment
YourFNF Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 17 hours ago, Sophie ♥ said: I think they have to be married first. ? Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted January 2, 2021 Author Share Posted January 2, 2021 Chapter Thirty-Six Well, I didn't expect that to happen, but the surprise wasn't unpleasant! My eyes went wide for a second, just a second, and panic began to rise that I didn't know how to kiss properly. But before that seed of dread could flower, I realized that Kylie knew what she was doing and that was probably fine. Her lips pulled away from me, and I mumbled softly, lightly, girlishly. "Wow, that was... really nice." ...okay. So. I kissed her. Uh. I kissed... her. A girl. I mean, she was a boy. Or, Eliot was a boy. Oh. Ohhhh no no no. I kissed Eliot. Oh no no no no! I sat up and inched away from her-- him! And shook my head. "That... that was an accident! I didn't mean to do that!" "That's okay." I smiled, although one side of the smile was showing the strain of that emotional turmoil just brewing in my chest. "You see me as a girl right now, so it's okay right? I understand." There was a lot I told myself was okay this last twenty-four hours because 'I was a girl here'. "I don't kiss people," I said sharply. Almost angrily. But no matter how angry I got, I couldn't see Eliot. I still saw that cute girl in her cute onesie with her cute hair and her cute lips! FUCK! "You kissed me," I countered, although I didn't know if I was trying to be helpful or not. "I'm people." I did kiss her. And I wanted to kiss her again. I wanted to pin her down and kiss her over and over. I shook my head, feeling nauseas. My heart was racing. I got out of the bed and hurried out of the room, slamming the door behind me. I had to wake up Marnie... I stayed in the bed and puffed out my cheeks, pouting. How bad could wetting myself be after that social landmine? I sighed and fell back into the sheets. * * * * * "Uhhuh, what is it?" Marnie slept with an eye mask on, so when she was roused from her bed by shaking hands, she only had a 50% chance of guessing who it was. "Is that you, Ellie?" Ellie. I closed my eyes tight and shook my head. I was going to throw up... "I think I'm having a panic attack," I told her. We had worked a lot on identifying them, knowing when one was starting. Feeling disconnected from the world, check. Feeling the blood pump through my body, check. Unable to control my breathing, check. Can't follow my own train of thought, check. "Oh sweetheart." Marnie took off her mask and slid out of bed gracefully, standing tall in front of Kylie so she could provide the best level of care. Just like that, asleep to awake. She wrapped her arms around Kylie and gently pulled her in, without stifling her, without restricting her. "You're with Mommy, and Mommy won't let the bad things in." I pushed my face into Marnie's chest and felt tears in my eyes. That was always the way it went: she brought out the child in me. I could cry so easily when she was this close. "I'm such a fucking idiot... fuck, fuck, fuck..." Though such language was not fitting of a child, but Marnie didn't chastise her for it. She nodded, and she heard, and she gave lots of mhm's and it's okay's, and most importantly, she listened. "Start from the start, sweets, what happened?" I shook my head and tears dripped from my eyes, rolling down my cheeks. I... I felt so stupid. I needed to get out of this stupid onesie. Out of this stupid diaper! I started pulling on the onesie between my legs, but the snaps held strong. "I don't want to do this anymore... I don't wanna play. I don't want to..." "Kylie Miranda, you are safe. The door is closed, it's only you and me. We don't have to have you little, and it's not your clothes that hurt you right now - it's your thoughts." Marnie picked her up, plucked off the ground, and sat down on the edge of the bed with Kylie on her lap. "I'll get you undressed if you like. How about you tell me where your runaway train began?" And in an act of support, Marnie even started by unbuttoning one of the four snaps. I knew how this worked. I had to talk. I had to tell her the truth. I'd pissed my diaper yesterday and she changed me out of it; what could honestly be more embarrassing? So I did what I was told. "I kissed her... him. Eliot." "Her. Ellie. You kissed Ellie?" Marnie clarified, but also codified. Eliot didn't come here - Ellie did. It was an important distinction that neither Kylie or El were really ready to accept, yet, but Marnie had seen all this before. "Tell me about that. You've been quiet all night, thinking about her?" "What? No. I mean. Yes. I mean..." I shook my head and Marnie told me to lift my arms. She took my onesie off over my head and suddenly I felt a bit better. Less restricted. Onesies were always a gamble - comfortable and safe, but tight and restrictive. I sat in just a diaper and bra on Marnie's lap. "I... I don't know. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know why I did that..." "You like girls. Ellie is a girl. You've never gotten to play with someone in this part of your life before, the feelings must have been... intense. Pretty big for a little girl. Am I close?" "No," I said angrily. I tore at the tapes on my diaper and Marnie took my hands in hers. Tears dripped off my chin. "Ellie is not a girl, and I don't kiss people, and I didn't want this to happen!" This was more volatile than Kylie's usual spirals, and Marnie realized how careful she was going to have to be. This was a ‘handle with cotton wool’ kind of situation. "Alright, alright, shh, shh, sweetheart, it's okay. It's just you and me here, you're safe, look at the door - it's closed, see? Let's get you changed, okay? Into one of my nightgowns, free and loose?" Marnie got me changed. No diaper. No onesie. Not even my bra. I felt a lot less stupid once I was wearing her nightgown. Little stuff was so powerful at keeping me happy and calm, but in a panic attack it usually just made me feel worse. I laid on my back in Marnie's bed while she played with my hair, reminding me how everything would be okay. And I believed her. She was always right. Panic attacks pass. Everything passes. By the end of it, I was exhausted. It wasn't hard for sleep to find me. * * * * * "Ellie?" Marnie whispered, peeking her head into the bedroom. "You awake?" "Kinda hard not to be. My bladder is kicking my ass, my best friend ran off in a huff after kissing me, and I'm dressed like an infant girl. Lot to unpack there." Marnie sighed and made her way into the room. This wasn't the sort of problem she expected to deal with this morning. If anything, she was hoping for two wet baby girls who needed changing. "Well, do you think you're ready to be a big girl for me? I think playtime is over for now." "I'm pretty sure it is, too. I got lost in this, and now Kylie's hurt." My tone was flat, a little empty. "Oh sweetie, it wasn't your fault. It sounds like Ky has some things she's dealing with, okay?" Marnie wasted no time coming over to her newest girl and unsnapping her onesie. She didn't even wait to take it off Ellie before untaping the diaper and balling it up. Then she went to the dresser and picked out a not-so-childish outfit: a skirt and a blouse that Kylie had worn only once. She also found a pair of lace panties in the drawer, though she knew they wouldn't compare to Ellie's own quality of panties. I shook my head, despite her best efforts. "No thank you, I'm just going to wear my own clothes. If it would be okay, I'd like to shower." Showering was my nervous go-to; nobody ever argued when you said you had to shower, and nobody ever questioned how long you took. Marnie sat down beside Ellie on the bed, dressed in only an unsnapped onesie, and put her arm around her. "Talk to me, please? I can't help if you don't tell me how you feel." "I feel like this was a dumb idea, like I invaded a pretty personal thing for Kylie, and I got selfish about it. She was clearly upset that I was here. All night long, she wouldn't even talk to me. Like, she tolerated it, because she knew you wanted me here, and I asked to be here, but she didn't want me here, Marnie. I should've just stayed home. This rabbit hole doesn't lead to Wonderland - it leads to dirt." "No, I... I don't think that's quite how it went down," Marnie said more to herself than to Ellie. "I've seen her when she's Little. A lot. And today was... weird. I thought at first she was embarrassed around you. That maybe her little-self didn't know how to handle all the new changes. And if that's true, that was my mistake, not yours." Marnie shook her head. "But I don't think that was it. She didn't try to cover up or ask to have a skirt or something. She never asked to stop, or even use a Big No. And she was nervous around you even if she wasn't feeling Little." Not to mention, she was constantly worried what Ellie would think of her. Why? Because of the diapers? Marnie didn't think so. There was only one thing that explained the kiss. "Today was the first time she saw you dressed up, Ellie. I think she has a crush on you." "Hah!" I didn't do bitter very often, or very well. Maybe it wasn't bitterness, maybe it was... spite for the irony of the situation. Marnie couldn't have known though, and I didn't want her to think poorly of me. "I've had a crush on her for basically as long as I've known her, Marnie. I promise you, she doesn't have a crush on me. I'd have been the first to see it." Okay, so clearly Marnie was going to have to walk her through this. "Why couldn't she like you, hm? What's not to like?" "She's gay, and I'm not a girl, despite what any dress up games might have people thinking." "In this house, you're a girl," Marnie said plainly. "No dress up. No anything. You, Ellie, are a girl. And last night, for the first time - other than in photos - Kylie saw that. Right? And she started acting differently. You might think - well, maybe she was weirded out. Maybe she was disgusted. But then why would she kiss you?" "I don't know." I shrugged. Honestly. I didn't know, it didn't make much sense. "But she hated that she did it, so the reasons why don't matter." "People don't do things for no reason," Marnie said plainly. "Especially things so anathema to what they believe in." Which posed a new question: why didn't she kiss people? It's not like she wasn't attractive. "I don't know. I probably deceived her or something, you know, I don't know. I've never seen her so freaked out. You probably have. She's not vulnerable with me though; she likes to be aloof and show this tough girl attitude. So this is all... pretty knew to me. So's kissing, for that matter." Unfortunately, Marnie had no control over this situation. She could help Ellie with whatever she needed, and she could help Kylie when she would let her. She could lead two babies to diapers, but she couldn't make them wet, so to speak. "Well... what do you want to do? If you want to let this go, and pretend it never happened, I bet Kylie would easily go along with it." And everyone would be back at square one. Marnie sighed. "I don't know. I think that's what's best." What I want? No. Of course not. Kylie kissed me. I'd dreamed about stuff like that! Of course I don't want to play 'don't ask, don't tell'. But what choice did I have? "Well, I can't make this decision for you," Marnie said with a sad smile. "It's easy to step in and make choices for you and me, like what I call you and how you act. But when it comes to your relationship with someone else, it isn't my place." Kylie and Ellie had to work this one out themselves, which meant it might never be worked out at all. "I feel like I found something, Marnie. And I feel like I lost it, too. And I don't know if that something is one thing, or a different thing, but both things seem both good and bad, so where does that leave me?" I puffed my cheeks, and then popped them with my hands to deflate them. "I just feel like I screwed up." "There's a lot of things in the world you don't have control over," Marnie told her, kissing the side of her head. "You don't control what other people say or how other people act. You don't control what other people believe or feel or think. You don't control the world or the internet or the weather. You don't control me, and you don't control Kylie. But you control you. Your words, your actions, your feelings. Your beliefs, your thoughts, and who you spend time with. Your boundaries, your choices, your clothes. Stop focusing on all the things you can't control, and make yourself happy with the things you can." Marnie stood up from the bed and handed Ellie her clothes from the top of the dresser. The ones she came here in. And another set - the skirt and the blouse Marnie had picked out. "I chose to call you a girl, and to call you Ellie, and to take care of you. Those are my words and my actions, things that make me happy. Kylie chose to wear diapers and call me Mommy, even though it sounded so stupid, because it made her happy. Now you can decide which clothes to wear, and what to call yourself, and what words to say to Kylie. You can't control her feelings about them, but you can control your own happiness." It was a lot to ask when I felt like I didn’t know anything, when everything felt like the wrong answer. I wanted to go home, to never talk of this again. I wanted to tell Kylie she was dumb for kissing me, or pretending I was something I wasn't. I wanted to go in there and look beautiful and tell her this was a part of me, maybe a big part of me, maybe most of me. I wanted to run and hide, and I wanted to fix it all, and none of it seemed any easier than anything else. So when all choices were equally difficult, I chose the one that made me smile. "Marnie... will help me look pretty in a non-baby way?" "I'll help you look however you want," Marnie said happily. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon! 6 Link to comment
YourFNF Posted January 3, 2021 Share Posted January 3, 2021 Get it Ellie! that's my girl! XD Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted January 3, 2021 Author Share Posted January 3, 2021 Chapter Thirty-Seven I stared at the ceiling of Marnie's bedroom with my usual bout of self-depreciation. I couldn't believe I freaked out like that. So it was a kiss. It didn't mean anything. I was tired, and he looked like a girl. I wasn't thinking clearly. It was in the past. I sat up and looked down at Marnie's nightgown. Two sizes too big, but in a comforting sort of way. I wondered if Eliot was still in a diaper. I wondered if he wet himself. Probably not, after all that drama. I climbed out of bed and opened the bedroom door. It was quiet. I stepped slowly across the hall to peek into my room, expecting to find Eliot asleep in my bed. But the room was empty. Hm, maybe he went home? I went to the living room to find Marnie. I was flicking through pictures of clothing on my phone, which wasn't an unusual activity for me - although it wasn't usually dresses that I found myself looking at. Or, well, not often at least. I had my earphones in, and my lips were soundlessly voicing the words to the music playing. An ordinary morning, all things considered, apart from what I was wearing. Trusting Marnie was a difficult leap of faith for me, but she had made me look very pretty. I didn't find Marnie. But I did find Eliot. He wasn't wearing the onesie he wore to bed, and he wasn't wearing a diaper as far as I could tell. But his hair was still fluffy and styled, with a simple black headband. And he was still wearing girls' clothes - my clothes to be specific. A button up blouse and a skirt. Not really childish, to be honest. He was still wearing makeup, but it was different. Eyeliner, but no blush. I hesitated at the edge of the dining room, looking at him. I felt something stir in my tummy. Butterflies? Or bees. I wasn't sure. I took a deep breath and stepped into the room, waving to get his attention. "Where's Marnie?" I tilted my head and held up one hand, fumbling to pause my music before dropping the earbud out of one ear. In the context of feeling vulnerable and meek, it was even easier to notice just how beautiful Kylie was. "Huh? Oh, Marnie? She had to go to the store." "Right…" I looked at him nervously, crossing my arms over my chest. I guess I had to say something about the whole kissing thing, right? Otherwise he might get the wrong idea. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep eye contact with him. "About this morning. Uh. It wasn't anything. Just... I was tired. So..." "I understand," I responded, almost before she could finish talking, and I waved my hand along with my forced and false smile. "Don't worry about it, Ky, it doesn't matter." "Alright, as long as like... we're on the same page..." I drew my toes along the carpet awkwardly, staring down at the floor. Why did this feel weird? It was just a kiss. "Well, uh. I'm gonna go get changed. So, uh... I'll be back in a bit." "Alright." And then a natural question came, but I didn't ask it. I wanted to; I wanted to ask if she thought I should get changed too, but I was afraid she'd say yes. He was sort of quiet. Not that he wasn't usually quiet, but... I don't know, sometimes he engaged more? Maybe because sometimes I engaged more? Was I engaging enough? I couldn't even look at him! I scolded myself as I pulled my shirt on over my head and looked in the mirror. My hair was still in messy pigtails, so I took them out and brushed them through. Then I took a deep breath. "Nothing is different... don't have another panic attack, you idiot." I went back to the dining room to try again. Maybe it was a fluke the first time. But seeing him dressed like that made me queasy... "So, uh. Do you know when Marnie is going to be back?" "I'm not sure," I was twirling the earbud around my finger this time; I hadn't put it back in. There was a lot on my mind, and a lot of it threatened to bubble to the surface if I ever gave it the chance. "She left a while ago, though." I tilted my head back, pressed into the couch cushion so I could look at her upside down. My glossy lips smiled. I blinked at him and looked down at my feet, as a hint of pink tinted my cheeks. Jeeze... "I... well, I'm not staying around here all day, so..." I reached into my pocket for my phone and sent a text to Marnie. I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye. "Oh, are we leaving?" We. Because I'd traveled with her. Obviously. She looked like she hadn't put two and two together though. I stood up and smooth down the blouse, trying my best to make a good impression. "Oh. Uh." Well, we drove here together. And I didn't think Eliot would want to ride back into town on Marnie's scooter. So... "Right, yeah. I mean, probably as soon as Marnie gets back. So. You should change out of... all that." I made a general hand motion, but I still wouldn't look at him for more than a moment. "Oh." I frowned and looked down, like looking down would hide the look on my face. Just do it, El, don't make a fuss, don't make it a big deal, it's not a big deal really. I nodded in accordance with that, but the words came from my lips anyway. "You don't like it...?" "...don't like what?" He sounded sad, but... I didn't think I did anything wrong. Was this still about the kiss? I thought we handled that pretty well. Right? "Never mind." Not a 'haha never mind', but a 'never mind' that was not a happy sounding tone. Maybe Marnie would come back soon? She was pretty good at articulating words. Eliot wasn't really a petty person. He wasn't the "hold something in" type. Sometimes it took him a while to figure out what he wanted and what he felt, but that felt almost... catty. I crossed my arms over my chest. "Are we not over the kiss thing? You said you were fine." "It's not about the kiss. The kiss happened, it was nice, and it's fine. I just... " This was such a mistake to talk about, ugh. "I don't even know. I'm just a mixed up mess of a boy, it doesn't matter." "Well yeah, we've known that since middle school. That's why we're friends." I looked sternly at him, and thankfully he didn't look up into my eyes. It felt weird. Like... like he wasn't the same person. I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. Like when we left that lingerie store. Like when Marnie convinced me to tell him about my Little stuff. "...what's going on?" "I don't know." Which was the truth, too. I had no idea what was going on. I knew that I was standing here dressed like someone I wasn't, at the behest of someone I didn't even know more than a few weeks, about to get in a fight with my best friend. "I don't know. It's me. Something's wrong with me, I guess." "Again, we've known that since middle school." My tone was sour. He kept looking at his feet. Ugh, I swear to God if my kiss started something, I would never forgive him! Or myself... "I like that you're wrong. I'm wrong. And we're like, wrong... together. And I like that. So just stop being stupid, okay?" "I freaked out last night. Not about the kiss, not about you at all. Nothing to do with you. You're not wrong, Ky, you're right, you're... accurate, you're articulate, you're everything I like about the world." Gushy romantic nonsense. "It's not about you." "Oh..." Strangely enough, I think that was the first time Eliot said something nice about me and I didn't immediately write it off. For some reason, that one stuck. I bit my lip. "Well. Whatever it's about, I'm glad we're friends. I don't want anything to change. Okay?" "I don't want it to change, either." I felt dizzy, like I'd just breathed in a mouthful of water instead of air, and my chest hurt accordingly. I didn't like this at all. Say the words, El. Say what Marnie told you. Tell her, come on you coward, just do it. "Come on," I said with a smile. Forced, since the moment was so tense. But honestly, I wanted everything back to normal. "Get dressed and we'll go to the mall. We can get lunch there, and I have a game I want to check out." "What if..." I tugged on the hem of the blouse - only for half a second, because I didn't want to damage the poor thing - and swallowed what felt like a big ball in my throat. "What if I wanted to wear this?" Wear... that? The blouse, or the skirt? Or did he mean the eyeliner? Or his hair styled like that? Or all of it? I didn't really understand, but I knew exactly what to say. "Honestly, I don't think that stuff is up to your standards," I smiled. Marnie bought clothes for cuteness - not quality. And I wasn't as picky as Eliot. "It's not, really," I admitted with a sheepish smile, shrugging my shoulders, and the coward in me won out I guess. "I'll go get changed." Eliot left and I sat down at the dining table with a sigh. I hated this part. Something different happens and things feel weird. But everything would be better once it got back to normal. A minute or two later, before Eliot found his way out of my bedroom, Marnie walked in the door with a McDonald's bag in her hand. I waved to her from the dining room. "Oh hey, where's Ellie?" Marnie asked with a chipper tone, although her words seemed to turn Kylie immediately sour. Reading that expression for what it might have meant, Marnie tilted her head curiously. "Did you two have a fight? You look upset?" "Eliot," I corrected her. We weren't in play-mode and it was probably better she knew that now than make a mistake. She dropped the McDonald's bag down on the table and started unpacking it. "Are you so sure about that, Kylie?" Marnie had that kind of tone that sounded like she knew something more than she was letting on. "Did you two fight?" "No, we didn't have a fight. We talked about last night, and we're fine." Marnie started setting the table with McDonalds breakfast sandwiches. English muffins for me, with orange jelly. But the way she was talking... "What are you going on about?" "How did you feel about Ellie's outfit? I worked with El on it before you woke up. I think we decided to keep it pretty simple and understated." These were probing questions. "You mean, him wearing my clothes?" I said sourly. "Yeah, he definitely pulls off that look better than I do." Skirts and blouses really weren't my thing. And everything Marnie bought me had a slight tinge of childishness to it, to heighten the aesthetic. "I'm sorry, Kylie, we should have asked you first. You were asleep when El asked about dressing pretty, and I didn't want to wake you. It was a pretty big step, and I think the results are pretty impressive, aren't they?" Marnie smiled, kind of pridefully. "Where is El, anyway?" "Getting changed." We had planned to go out for breakfast at the food court, but McDonalds was just as good. Maybe we could go there for lunch in a few hours. I smeared some orange jelly on my muffin and took a bite. Immediately, I felt calmer. Talk about nostalgia... Marnie immediately looked concerned, and she took a breath to center her thoughts and figure out how to ask this question. "I want to ask you a question, Kylie, and it's a pretty big one, okay?" "Sure." I took another bite of my muffin. Probably a question about kissing Eliot. Not that it was really her business, but it was probably best to set the record straight. Or gay, so to speak. "How would you feel if El was a girl? Not for play, but for real. I'm not saying things one way or another, I just want to know like... hypothetically, how would you feel?" "What do you mean? Like, if he was trans?" Someone assigned the wrong gender at birth was pretty normal, comparatively. I mean, playing 'little girl' and wearing diapers was way weirder. And everyone had a right to their own expression of gender. What did it matter to me? It's not like it "defies God" or any of that shit people make up to avoid sounding bigoted. Of course, they are anyway. "Hypothetically, that's cool. But he's not a girl just because he wears panties and plays dress up with us." "No, that's true. Nothing that El wears, or El does is going to suddenly invalidate any sense of masculinity. Panties, or dress up, or make-up, or owning a bra, that's all just things people do and that's not really gendered, not when you break it down." Her inhale meant that there was a but, however. "What would make El a girl would be if El said 'I'm a girl', and that's really all." "Right." Was this a test or something? I finished my first muffin and looked down at my second. Eliot sure was taking a long time - in another few minutes his food would go cold. "So what if El told you, 'Kylie, I'm a girl,' what would you say?" At that point, the bedroom door opened up and I came out, fresh faced and in my usual attire - which was to say nice, androgynous a little, and clearly every bit me. "Oh hi Marnie, what'd I miss?" "Eliot, are you a girl?" I didn't hesitate asking the question. I wasn't sure what Marnie was getting at, but obviously she had some skewed perception of events. The easiest way to speed-run this conversation was asking him directly. "Uh, maybe?" My answer seemed to catch both of them off guard, and the smell of food hit me around the same time which put a bit of a damper on my mood. "Why?" Marnie and I both stared at him. I thought maybe I couldn't really look at him earlier because of the kiss, but I seemed to have no problem doing it now. "What do you mean, maybe? It's not a hard question." My voice was a little more stern, a little less apathetic. He had escalated something simple into something annoying. "Are you or not?" "I don't know. I thought I knew. Now I don't know. It felt like a yes earlier, after I talked with Marnie, now it feels like a no. So I'm going with maybe and I don't know, and that's fine for now. Why do you ask?" "You're not a girl," I said plainly, like I was making the decision for him. Maybe I was? He never could make a decision himself. "You came here and Marnie dressed you up and now you're thinking you might be a girl? You aren't. I've known you for almost a decade." "And I've known me for longer than that, so maybe if I think I'm something, I might be? What does it matter, anyway?" I actually sounded annoyed, which was unusual for me, to put it lightly. "It's not up to you or Marnie. Either I am, or I'm not, and I don't know which yet so I'm not committing to anything." I threw my other muffin in the McDonalds bag with a bit more force than I wanted to, and I stood up. "It matters! You're getting all up in your head about something you don't even believe in, because you played dress up a few times! If you were a girl, you'd know. And you don't know! So stop pretending!" I was worked up. My heart was racing. My voice was a few decibels too high. And to be honest, I didn't even know why I cared. "If I were a boy, I'd know too Kylie. Boys who're boys don't have maybes, they don't have doubt. I have doubt, I have confusion, and I'm not ruling anything out. I'm gonna go." "El, wait..." Marnie stood up, but I wasn't really interested in waiting. I was crying again and I hated that. I felt sick. Like, throw up after getting off a roller coaster sick. That's what this conversation felt like: a roller coaster. I should have just gotten off, but for some stupid reason, I decided to stay on for another loop. "You can't just be a girl because you think I'll like you more!" I shouted at him. I didn't want to be mean. But shouldn't he know? Shouldn't he know he can't just change your gender because your crush is a lesbian? Tears filled my eyes and I fought to hold them back. "You still think this is about you, Kylie? Holy fucking heck, the world doesn't revolve around you, okay?" I didn't mean to be a dick about it, I really didn't, but it all came bubbling out, and with cursing to boot. I didn't give her a chance to reply. I pushed the front door open and let it shut behind me, chest heaving. "Kylie," Marnie said quietly. To get my attention, maybe? But I heard it in her voice. Disappointment. She touched my shoulder and I slapped her hand away. "This is your fucking fault! You had to go dress him up, huh? And now look at things!" Tears dripped down my cheeks. I hated this. I hated crying. Fuck, fuck, fuck! "This isn't anybody's fault, and this isn't a bad thing. Do we chase this rabbit to the end of its path? I dressed El up, you invited El here, El let himself feel little. Nobody is at fault here, Kylie. 90% chance he's just going to think this through and decide nothing of it, that's what exploration and experimentation are. It's trying things." "Fuck you." I turned on my heel and went to my bedroom. I wanted to leave, but chances were I'd run into Eliot again. How was he even getting home? I drove him here! He could walk for all I cared. I slammed the door behind me and stuck my vanity chair under the handle - a trick I picked up when I was younger. Parents fucking suck. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon! 3 2 Link to comment
YourFNF Posted January 4, 2021 Share Posted January 4, 2021 Jesus what fuck the girl? I get that your feeling insecure but.... Link to comment
Sophie ♥ Posted January 5, 2021 Author Share Posted January 5, 2021 Chapter Thirty-Eight Throughout the day, Marnie knocked on the door a few times. She called out to me, asking if I was okay. If she should make me some dinner. If I was staying the night. I didn't answer her. I felt sick to my stomach. I didn't want to yell at him like that. I didn't want to be angry. Why was I so angry? I managed to drift off to sleep a few times - short anxiety-filled naps that plagued me with awful dreams. I woke up to another knock on the door. "You can't stay in there forever. What if you need to use the bathroom?" Marnie sounded exhausted. "Then I'm lucky I picked the room with stacks of diapers," I called back. It was the first thing I'd said to her since I closed the door. The bedside clock said 10:45. I felt nauseous from not eating. Marnie was quiet for a moment after that, because actually hearing Kylie respond was a universally positive sign, and if she played her cards right she could finally get her to maybe open up. "I was thinking about ordering pizza, with olives and pineapple?" Kylie didn't even like being in the same house as pineapple on pizza. "Unless you'll be joining me?" I paused to think about it. Was she trying to piss me off? No, she was just trying to get me to engage. All day I'd been ignoring her. I sat up on the bed and my stomach growled. It sounded loud, but I knew Marnie couldn't hear it through the door. "I'm not hungry," I lied. I just couldn't go out there and see her. I couldn’t face this. "Alright, well, if you're one hundred percent sure you won't want any, I'll get olive and pineapple. I'm gonna call now and order - you just let me know if you change your mind before I'm done." Marnie would dial the phone right outside the door too, for maximum opportunity. As much as I wanted to defy Marnie, my stubbornness didn't outweigh common sense. I couldn't stay in here forever, even with the diapers. I needed water. I needed food. Unless I wanted to die. Even if I did, starvation and dehydration wasn't the way to do it, and the whole room was basically babyproofed. With a sigh, I went to the door and moved the chair. I knew she would hear it shuffling around. Then I went back to the bed and waited for her to come in. Marnie opened the door, and stayed on the phone. Instead of pineapple and olives, she ordered sun-dried tomatoes and feta, one of Kylie’s favorites. When she finished, she sat down on the bed next to her reluctant princess. Deep sigh. "You couldn’t make a dramatic escape?" "The windows are too small," I said flatly. I didn't try, but I had certainly thought about it. I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. Echoes of everything I said to Eliot ran through my head, as they had been all day. I felt sick to my empty stomach. "Wanna yell?" The answer to 'do you wanna talk about it?' with Kylie was almost always no, but she would get her emotions out in other ways. I shook my head. I'd done enough yelling today. My chest ached from my racing heart. My brain was worn out from making up scenario after scenario. I only ever came to one conclusion. Maybe Eliot shouldn't be my friend anymore. Maybe Marnie shouldn't be either. I wondered how long it would take her to chastise me. She knew better than anyone how selfish I was. Or maybe she had given up on me too. "Eliot said some pretty rough stuff earlier, huh?" Not so what what he'd said, but how, and the fact he'd left. "I don't think I've ever seen his panties in such a bunch. What do you think he's up to now?" I shook my head again. "I don't know... I don't care..." Maybe he was off at some drag show or online shopping for new bras. My stomach churned again and I felt a new wave of anxiety. I couldn't live like this... This was one part pulling teeth, one part bomb defusing. Maybe one part raising a teenage girl too, but that was more of an observation than a classification. Marnie left a lot of open air between her words, making sure she wasn't coming across as a know it all. "You're thinking bad things, right?" I shrugged my shoulders, which was an admission if there ever was one. Things felt inescapable. It felt like there was no way out. Like I was stuck in a maze, but I'd explored the whole thing. All dead ends. Even now, in my post-nap state of relief, I was as on-edge as ever. One light breeze would push me into another panic attack. It felt inevitable. "Would it help if I paused the world? Just... click, put it on pause, freeze it, give you all the time you need to figure out your thoughts and where to put them?" I shook my head again. I'd been through it a thousand times. I just... hated it. I hated this whole day. It had been the worst twenty-four hours of my life, or at least since I lived with my mom. There was nothing I could do. "Kylie," Marnie started nervously. Maybe this was the chastising moment. "I know you think you're always like that. But you aren't. Today was... different." "Hardly..." "There's no such thing as a point of no return, and there's no such thing as too far gone. Everything is in the air until everyone involved decides not to communicate anymore, and I know it's going to sound funny to hear it, but you're pretty good at communicating." I shot Marnie a sharp look. She was downright lying to me, and I hated it. I ran from all my problems. When Eliot and I had a fight, I stopped talking to him. When Marnie and I weren't getting along, I ghosted her. I could win the Olympics for worst communicator. "I'm serious! I've seen you in your darkest points, you know? I've seen you crying, I've seen you suffering, I've seen you trying to run and winding up right in my arms. And when you open up, Kylie, you're so expressive, and you're so communicative. You're just like an artist who's never seen their own art, so you think it's bad and you don't do it." "I really don't need the pep talk," I said sourly. My stomach grumbled again, but as this conversation lingered on, I felt less and less hungry. "What was so different this time?" Marnie asked. "Why did you say that stuff?" "Because I'm a shitty person." “That's not really an answer." Marnie countered, fishing into her pocket for the bag of M&M's she'd been nursing all afternoon. Marnie passed me an M&M and I shook my head. I didn't want it. But she took my hand and put one in my palm all the same. With reluctance, I put it between my lips. "I don't know," I shrugged. "I was just... angry at him. I'm still angry at him." "Follow the train, where does it go? Why're you angry with him? You were angry then, you're angry now - why?" "I just am." "Because he thinks he might be a girl?" "I don't know. Yes?" "Because you think he's doing it to get with you?" "No, that's stupid. I don't even know why I said that." Because that's all my brain could come up with at the time. Truth be told, if Eliot were a girl... it made a lot of sense. I didn't know a lot about trans stuff, but he definitely fit a self-depreciating archetype. And his fixation with looking nice, wearing nice clothes... maybe it was a middle ground he was comfortable with. "Can I take a guess?" And Marnie had to ask first in this case, because her guess had some loaded connotations to it, things that if implied in carelessness might have come across very offensively. A mistake she didn't want to make. "Sure, whatever..." Honestly, I didn't know why I was such an asshole earlier. I didn't know why I even cared what gender Eliot was. Maybe Marnie could figure it out and I wouldn't have to feel so awful about it anymore. "I think the idea that Eliot is a boy is a very easy way to put up a barrier between you and your feelings. I'm not saying you have a crush on him, but you are close, and you don't like complications. Him being a boy makes it, maybe in the back of your head, impossible for your feelings for him to become complicated." And of course there was an and to go with that. "And... maybe you do have feelings for Eliot. Maybe all of a sudden your indestructible, inarguable, non-negotiable, last bastion of a defense against your own feelings and the dangerous places they could lead... is gone." "I don't have a crush on Eliot," I said flatly. Her answer was almost boring. Did she really think I wouldn't notice if I was in love with my best friend? "Anyway, I don't date. So why would it matter if I liked him or not?" Unfortunately for her argument, Eliot being a boy wasn't my last defense. I had a lot more. But I couldn't shake this feeling. Like he did something wrong. But it's not wrong to be a girl! It's not wrong to change your gender or any of that shit! Was I being transphobic here? I wasn't trying to be! Fuck. "Hey, Kylie?" Marnie asked curiously. "Why don't you date people?" "I just don't?" "Are you asexual? Aromantic?" Labels could be used to encase people in cages, and they could be used to bring freedom from confusion. Marnie was betting on Kylie's honesty. "No." I definitely found women sexually attractive. As for romance? I liked it in concept. I liked watching movies about it. I understood it. I'd even felt it before. I took another M&M from Marnie and sunk into the bed a little bit. I didn't want to talk about this... "So why don't you date? Eliot dates. I sometimes date and I'm asexual. So why don't you date? What's your reason, what's your logic? Are you afraid of something happening? Someone seeing some vulnerable part of you that you want to hide? Are you afraid of things changing if you do?" "I just don't like it, okay?!" Somewhere in her barrage of questions, my frustration boiled over. I felt queasy and my skin felt cold. I shook my head and crossed my arms, looking away from her. Obviously, she hit a nerve... "Okay, good. That's a start. That's more than 'I don't know' or 'I just don't,'" Marnie smiled, nodding her head as her hand found the back of Kylie's. Early into a panic attack, some hair playing could go a long way. With thirty more seconds of escalation though, Kylie wouldn't let anybody touch her. It was a Hail Mary at best. A knock echoed down the hall and into my room. Pizza, no doubt. Marnie kissed me once on the forehead and left me alone to pay the delivery person. I sat quietly, looking down at my hands. I felt sick, and not because I was hungry. Maybe with a pizza between us, Marnie would stop asking questions and I could stop thinking about it. "The delivery girl - who by the way, was super cute - forgot to drop the bread sticks off at the last persons house, so she gave them to us." Marnie sat down on the bed - which broke a lot of the rules about eating in her house and where food was allowed - and opened the pizza box between the two of them. I ate slowly, but I ate all the same. I needed something in my stomach, and it honestly did help. Marnie didn't bring up dating again all through dinner, and I wasn't going to complain. But when we were done, I had a question I wanted to ask. "...why don't you hate me?" "Because you're human, and you make mistakes. It’s never malicious, and you generally learn something when you do. Nobody is perfect. Anybody who claims to be, pretends to be, acts like they are? Total liars, don't trust them one bit." Marnie stood up from the bed to stretch, and arched her back. "You're real. You're my friend. And I care about you." I smiled a little and looked down at the half-eaten pizza. I didn't deserve her kindness. "Hey, um. I know you work tomorrow, but... do you think I could stay tonight? Night-time rules?" "I'd like that, Smylie." Marnie answered simply, and leaned in to kiss Kylie on the forehead. Tonight was time that they both needed - even if she couldn't do anything for Eliot at the moment. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon! 6 Link to comment
YourFNF Posted January 5, 2021 Share Posted January 5, 2021 I love Marnie calmly breaks the situation down and defuses things. She really is good at this. Link to comment
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