Chaotic Infantile (P2C9 Posted 4/20/22)

[TheUnknownAuthor]

Chapter Three

Zelda

 

I looked down at the bits of nail polish that hadn’t come off that morning when I’d gotten ready for my counseling session, powder blue flecks in my nail beds were the last remnant of my time as Zelda, and I found myself staring at them with a kind of sadness. I’d showered and dressed in my grownup clothes and driven myself here, but looking at those flecks of blue, I missed the way my nails had looked before I’d dipped them in the weird spongy container Petra had given me, I missed nursing from her as I had several times a day for, god, I had actually lost track of how long it had been.

 

Rochelle had moved out at least two weeks earlier, that much I knew, because I’d had a quarterly video conference at work two days after she’d left and the agony of second guessing whether my camera was still off when I’d claimed it had died so I could stay dressed as Zelda burned itself into my brain.

 

I focused on Rochelle, ignoring the tickle of my bladder dribbling into the training panties Petra had bought me for when I needed to be a grownup outside the house, the dribble serving as a reminder that wearing and using diapers without hesitation for however long I’d been doing so had dealt a significant blow to my control, but just made me wish I was back at home safe and sound in a diaper. I forced Rochelle back into my thoughts, missing her being home with us, worrying about her being able to fend for herself as I defaulted to the image of her second infancy when we’d first adopted her.

 

I shook that image from my mind and rightfully and respectfully replaced it with the strong young woman that had left her home with a few suitcases and the clothes on her back. She’d kissed my cheek so tenderly when she knelt in front of me, her bags set by the front door. She’d wiped away my tears and held back her own as she hugged me, saying nothing about the smell coming from my diaper as I sat waiting for Ducky to stop crying long enough to change me.

 

Guilt was definitely the strongest feeling I’d had, but shame was right up there with it. I felt guilty for not standing up and fighting for my daughter to stay with us, and shame for having bought in so completely to my role as Zelda that I didn’t want to give it up even to be a man and a father to my daughters and make everything okay for them. I rationalized that I was long overdue a break from responsibility, and at the end of the day, Rochelle was an adult and she was smart and capable and she knew that if things got too difficult for her, she’d always have a home to come back to, but I’d lost my mother and rekindled a long buried and forgotten piece of myself that proved to be so deeply ingrained in me that I gave into it without a second thought.

 

Petra took control of the house, of my care and the care of our daughters, and she gave no sign that she was concerned, so why should I be? If I needed to snap out of my role as Zelda, I would, but I needed to hear the words and they never came, at least not from Petra. Rochelle had looked to me to step in on her behalf before she left, but that was in the heat of a disagreement, a daughter and mother butting heads, Petra kept me at her breast and gave no indication I was needed to settle the dispute, so I stayed put.

 

“Mr. Klein, she’ll see you now.” the receptionist politely said, breaking me from my thoughts and bringing me to my feet with a slight blush as the weight of my apparently more than just a single dribble became apparent once gravity took over. Walking as nonchalantly as I could manage, I made my way to the door of my counselor’s office and took a deep breath with my hand on the lever before depressing it and slipping inside.

 

*********

 

“You’re looking well, Zack.” Dr. Kinnemen said as I made my way to the couch near the chair she preferred to sit at.

 

I smiled politely at her as she finished jotting something down on the pad on her desk and gathered up her things to go to her chair. “Thank you, Dr. Kinnemen.” I said, stopping myself before I began to gather up the dress I wasn’t wearing to curtsy for her like Petra had shown me how to do when greeting people.

 

Dr. Sarah Kinnemen was a bit of a wild card for me. She was a strong and intelligent woman that commanded respect, her impeccable style of expensive pantsuits and jackets always making me feel under dressed in her presence, but she was a slight woman, nearly on par with Rochelle in the height department, and, though it wasn’t intentional, I had pictured her with her strawberry blonde hair in pigtails, her leather shoes discarded so her bare feet were on display as she sat in her big comfy chair swinging her little legs as she licked an ice cream cone.

 

“How have you been?” she asked as she got settled in her chair, left leg crossing over the right to make a surface to rest her ledger on, horn rimmed glasses coming from the case inside her jacket to complete the transition into commander of her realm for the next hour.

 

I sat gingerly on the couch, the dampness of my training panties cool and clammy and unpleasant feeling. “Um,” I said quietly, not sure where to start, I’d contacted her to cancel my last appointment because my mother had passed, but we’d not spoken since then and things were decidedly different for me than they had been when we’d last talked, “I’ve been good.” I said simply.

 

She nodded and started writing something. “And the family?” she asked.

 

I absently nodded. “Good.” I said. My mouth had dried up, making it difficult to get my words out. She remained silent, letting the room fill with nothingness until I managed to get something out to break the silence, “Something happened at my dad’s house.” I blurted out.

 

“Oh?” she said simply. “What kind of something?” she asked.

 

My cheeks flushed and my training panties warmed and I worried about leaking on her expensive couch for the briefest of moments until I remembered that Petra had had me test the training panties when she’d presented them to me by having me do a big wetting in them to prove that they wouldn’t leak if I had a major accident. I’d marveled at the feeling of the padding sewn into the panties sucking up my liquid like a diaper would, the bubblegum pink exterior with multi colored kittens playing with balls of yarn adorning making me feel happy as I wiggled my hips, the weight between my thighs bringing the panties to a slight droop that Petra had praised me for as she changed me back into a diaper.

 

Everything rushed out of me all at once and I found myself telling Dr. Kinnemen things that I’d only thought since my dad’s house. I told her about my mother babying me and dressing me as a girl when I was growing up, told her about the sleepover we’d had when we were there for the funeral and about my time as Zelda since, but as I began to cry, something I’d been doing with greater ease since my mother had passed and I’d slipped into my new role in our family, I told her about my true feelings, the things I kept from Petra for fear she’d leave me. “I don’t know if I want to go back to being Zack.” I’d said.

 

She remained silent as I sobbed and spoke, fetching the box of tissues for me and setting them beside me on the couch before she sat back down in her chair, writing more things as I wiped my eyes and blew my nose. “When you’re Zelda,” she began, her tone softer than normal, not quite maternal, but more akin to something someone adopted when speaking to a crying child, “are you happier than you are when you’re Zack?” she asked.

 

I swallowed hard and nodded softly. “I’ve been in charge of everything since Petra and I got married.” I told her. “I’ve been her Daddy and husband almost as long as I’ve been an adult, and caring for all the other girls that she’s brought home over the years, it’s been so much responsibility.” I explained.

 

“It’s possible that you burned out.” she offered. “Often times we push through routine things without realizing the toll they take on us mentally when we do them for such long stretches of time.” she explained. “Maybe this feeling of wanting to completely give up your role as husband and caregiver is simply your brain telling you that a vacation is long overdue.” she said.

 

I nodded and then shook my head, “It’s more than that.” I said. “The break has been nice, welcome, but,” I hesitated, “I feel like I’ve been given a chance to explore a new life and it scares me to think about not doing so fully.” I said.

 

“How do you mean?” she asked.

 

I shrugged. “Being Zelda has changed the way everyone behaves around me, the way they talk to me and look at me, and I find myself wondering what people that aren’t part of my family would think, how they would act and receive me.” I said.

 

She nodded. “Who would you share that part of yourself with?” she asked.

 

I felt my cheeks flush as I looked down at the tissue balled up in my hand, the remnants of nail polish bringing a small smile to my face, “Everyone.” I said.

 

She wrote something down and cleared her throat, “I think it’s positive for you to explore this part of yourself,” she said, “if you’re comfortable doing so, I’d like to meet Zelda in our next session.” she said.

 

I looked up at her and felt a smile creep across my face as I nodded. “I’d like that.” I said, my voice slipping into Zelda’s softer and more feminine tone.

 

She returned my smile and nodded. “In the meantime, I think it’s for the best that you sit down and discuss your feelings with Petra, be as open and honest with her as you always have been and see what her feelings are.” she explained. “This may be a deeply personal journey of discovery for you, but you have a partner and she deserves to know that you’re having doubts about your true self and need time to explore and process these feelings.” she added.

 

I nodded softly, nervousness welling up in the pit of my stomach at the prospect of talking to Petra about all of this.

 

*********

 

I opened the front door and entered the house, locking the door behind me once it had shut, Petra came from down the hallway a moment later and greeted me with a wide smile as she walked up and hugged me tightly.

 

“How did your training panties do, baby?” she asked, her hands already working my belt loose once her embrace ended, her practiced motions sending my pants to the floor quickly as her hand pressed against the crotch of my sodden underwear.

 

I flushed hotly and looked down at her hand.

 

“Something to tell Mommy, angel?” she cooed, manipulating my cock through the thick fabric.

 

I put my hand on hers and gently pulled it from my panties. “We need to talk, Pet.” I said softly.

 

She looked at me, first harshly at my use of her name rather than ‘Mommy’, but then concernedly as I held her hand and looked into her eyes. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

 

I let go of her hand and redressed myself, pulling my pants back up and fastening my belt before I walked past her to the living room. “Is Ducky home?” I asked.

 

“No, she’s at school until tonight.” she responded. “You’re scaring me, what’s going on?” she asked.

 

I sighed and turned to her and sat on the couch, my cheeks flushing at the feeling of my soaked panties reminding me of what I needed to say. “I love you.” I said.

 

She smiled and sat in front of me, her hand moving to my cheek to softly stroke it. “I love you too.” she said.

 

I looked into her eyes and sighed again. “I’m afraid, Pet.” I told her. “I’m afraid that being Zelda is what I want for myself and that I don’t know if or when I’ll want to be Zack again.” I explained, avoiding looking at her as I spoke for fear that doing so would keep me from having the courage to say what I honestly felt. “I’m afraid of losing you if I’m not a husband and Daddy to you, but I’m equally afraid that if I don’t fully explore these feelings I’m having, if I abandon them to go back to the way things were, I’ll regret it and dwell on it and it will consume me and I’ll be miserable for the rest of my life because I ignored something that’s a far bigger part of who I am than I realized.” I said, sighing heavily as I leaned back into the couch to wait for her response.

 

“Look at me.” she said after a long series of minutes where my eyes were closed and I focused on my breathing to keep from hyperventilating, her hands taking mine into them.

 

I opened my eyes and felt awful when I saw her eyes pink and puffy, tears brimming in them.

 

“I’m sorry.” she said softly, absently stroking the back of my hand with her thumb.

 

I swallowed the hard lump in my throat and blinked my own tears away, “For what?” I asked.

 

“I didn’t know this was really real for you.” she said quietly. “I mean, I knew that this was something you’d experienced as a kid, but I thought that this was,” she paused and shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know, just a kinky little game you wanted to play with me.” she finally said. “I’ve been acting like that’s what it was, and,” she sniffled and looked up at me, tears rolling down her cheeks, “I haven’t even thought about your feelings this whole time.” she confessed. “This whole thing has been like a crazy turn on, living doll thing for me, and I’ve been so focused on turning everything up to eleven that I haven’t even considered whether it’s real for you.” she choked out as she sobbed openly.

 

My own sobs joined hers shortly after they began and I threw my arms around her and hugged her tightly. “You’ve been indulging me, whether you know it or not,” I said, “but this isn’t a game and it isn’t going to stop any time soon.” I explained. “We need to talk about how all of this is going to work in the long term and figure out if,” I hesitated, “you’re interested in staying with me during it.” I finally managed to say.

 

She looked stunned and hurt for a moment and tenderly touched my cheek once more, her bottom lip quivering, “Have you been afraid of me leaving you because of this?” she asked.

 

I halfheartedly shrugged and nodded. “You married a man and a Daddy, Pet, and Zelda isn’t anywhere near either of those things.” I said quietly, “I wouldn’t blame you for-” I started to say before her finger was pressed against my lips to gently silence me.

 

“I married you.” she said. “I don’t care if you’re a man or a Daddy or if you’re a helpless infant girl or anything else in between.” she told me, “I love you and I no matter what else happens, I’m here with you and for you forever, you got that?” she asked me, her voice quavering.

 

I nodded softly and kissed her finger before she removed it from my lips.

 

“What I need from you is one hundred percent honesty and transparency from now on.” she said after composing herself. “I need to know exactly the kind of life you’re interested in having and what you need and want from me to help you achieve it.” she continued. “I’ll give you the same honesty and transparency about my needs so we’re on the same page and completely in agreement as to how all of this is going to work.” she said.

 

I nodded again. “Can I have a bath first?” I asked.

 

She startled me by chuckling softly. “Those panties aren’t as comfy as a diaper, are they, honey?” she asked sympathetically.

 

I shook my head and blushed hotly as she stood up and took my hand gently into hers.

 

“We’ll figure all of this out together, okay?” she reassured me as I stood up.

 

I nodded and smiled at her. “Together.” I agreed.

 

*********

 

The bath was quiet, me sitting passively in the hot water, the flowery soap she’d dropped in to give me bubbles calming me immensely as she gently washed me until I was clean once more and helped up and out as the tub drained and she wrapped me in a towel and led me to the nursery. She helped me onto the changing table and dried me off before getting me into a diaper and the pink footed pajamas I picked when asked what I wanted to wear before she helped me down and took my hand to lead me to her bedroom, I wondered for a moment if I should’ve thought of it as “our” bedroom, but the crinkle beneath my pajamas was confirmation enough that I’d been right the first time.

 

She got on the bed and beckoned me to her, helping me into a position where she was holding me and I was cuddled beside her, a little girl in the safe, warm embrace of her Mommy in the big grownup bed.

 

“Do you want to start?” she asked.

 

I nodded sheepishly. “I want to be your baby.” I said softly in my Zelda voice, weak and delicate, higher than Zack’s but still recognizable as belonging to him in my ears.

 

She gave me a soft squeeze with the arm draped around me, “That’s a given.” she said with a smile.

 

I sighed, “I don’t know how little I want to be.” I confessed. “It all seems so jumbly and confusing.” I said.

 

She began to rock us softly. “Well, let Mommy help figure that out with you, baby.” she said. “Do you want a big girl bed like Ducky and Rochelle have, or do you want to sleep in the crib?” she asked.

 

“Crib.” I said.

 

She nodded. “Do you want to use the potty or is it better to wear diapers?” she asked.

 

I swallowed. “Diapers.” I said.

 

“Is it nice to have Mommy wake you up in your crib in the morning and let you nurse or would you rather have a grownup breakfast?” she asked.

 

I flushed and chewed my lip nervously. “Nurse.” I confessed.

 

She smiled and patted my shoulder. “I think maybe you’re a very little baby.” she said. “Remember when Rochelle was a very little baby and she needed to be taken care of?” she asked, avoiding mentioning me specifically being a part of that care provision.

 

I nodded.

 

“Do you think being that little would feel nice?” she asked sweetly.

 

“I’m too big for that.” I said quietly.

 

She hugged me, “Just because Mommy can’t carry you doesn’t mean you can’t be her very little baby, sweetheart.” she said. “None of this is about what’s outside, it’s all about the inside you.” she said, gently poking her finger into my tummy to produce a giggle and a gentle squirm from me. “If inside you is too little to do anything but eat, sleep and poop, then Mommy will be here to take care of you.” she said.

 

I nodded. “If I don’t like it, can I change my mind?” I asked.

 

She nodded. “Absolutely, baby.” she said. “We’re going to work together to give you the perfect life so you don’t have any regrets or doubts about whether you’ve made the right decision about who you are and what you want to be.” she explained.

 

“What about what you want?” I asked.

 

“We’ll get to me.” she said softly. “What’s your feeling about sex?” she asked.

 

I blushed hotly but remained silent as I chewed my lip.

 

“Honesty and transparency, baby.” she reminded.

 

I nodded softly. “I,” I struggled to say the words, “like the bottom stuff.” I confessed.

 

“You like when Mommy plays with your bottom?” she asked.

 

I nodded and buried my face into her breast.

 

“Just Mommy?” she asked.

 

I lifted my head and looked up at her in confusion.

 

“What I mean is, are you curious about other things, maybe someone else playing with your bottom.” she said, “Maybe a man?” she asked.

 

I was dribbling into my diaper as all the moisture left my mouth and I dumbly shrugged.

 

She smiled sweetly at me and kissed my forehead. “Anyone in particular?” she asked.

 

“I never said-” I started to argue.

 

She smiled at me, “But you didn’t say no, either, did you?” she asked.

 

I shook my head sheepishly. “No.” I said.

 

“No to which?” she asked. “No, you don’t have anyone in mind, or no, you didn’t say ‘no’?” she asked.

 

“No one in mind.” I said.

 

She nodded. “That’s okay, we can talk about that more when you get more comfortable.” she said.

 

“Can I still have sex with you?” I asked softly, sounding pathetically hopeful in my request.

 

She was quiet for a moment and I feared the worst. “Yes, but it will be different.” she finally said.

“Different how?” I asked.

 

She sighed softly, “Zelda is a submissive baby girl, right?” she asked.

 

I blushed and nodded.

 

“Well, that’s fine for when I want you to satisfy me with your mouth or when I have sex with you’re bottom, but I need something more substantial when it comes to actual sex, and I don’t think Zelda is up for that, do you?” she asked.

 

I swallowed hard and shook my head softly.

 

She nodded and sighed again, “I think maybe,” she paused for a moment, “when the time comes,” she paused again, “I’ll want a man to satisfy me.” she finally said, looking at me to gauge my response.

 

The dribbling I’d been experiencing turned into a complete release as I sat in stunned silence, trying to wrap my head and emotions around what she’d just said. I wanted to argue with her, to remind her that other men were something I wasn’t okay with, but I looked down at myself, the bulge beneath my pink footed pajamas, felt the heat and wetness of the diaper I’d chosen to wear, the dull ache of longing I was feeling to have my thumb or a pacifier or her nipple in my mouth to calm me, and chastised myself for feeling hurt or betrayed when I was the one betraying her by not being the man she needed.

 

“What are you thinking, honey?” she gently asked, her hand on my cheek again.

 

“I want to say no but at the same time it doesn’t really seem fair to argue when I’m not what you need right now.” I said softly.

 

She was hugging me and rocking us softly. “I’m not talking about replacing you, baby.” she said, “That isn’t possible in the first place, but more importantly, I don’t plan on bringing men home all the time, just,” she paused, “when I have needs that someone like Athena can’t satisfy.” she said.

 

I nodded softly. “Can we take a break?” I asked.

 

She smiled. “Of course, baby.” she said. “Do you want to nurse?” she asked.

 

I nodded and let her get exposed and comfortable before I moved to where she guided me, the peace I felt as my mouth filled with her flesh and the sweet, warm liquid began to trickle down my throat as I suckled from her brought me back to my center after what seemed like so long on edge talking about all of this and pushing myself to have such difficult conversations. As she began to rock me I looked up at her and melted as I saw her looking down at me with nothing short of adoration in her eyes, I’d seen the look before, when we’d first adopted Rochelle and she was breastfeeding her, and I knew that despite the difficulty of the conversations, we’d come together as a couple and made a choice that saw both of us happier and more satiated than either of us even realized.

 

“Do you want to grow your hair out?” she asked. “Or maybe a wig?” she asked.

 

I reached up and gently touched my hair, imagining myself with longer hair, the different styles I’d be able to play around with and nodded softly.

 

“Grow out?” she asked.

 

I nodded.

 

She smiled. “That’ll be fun.” she said, her gaze looking up from me to nothing in particular as I’m sure she imagined various hairstyles on my head.

 

I closed my eyes as I lazily nodded my agreement, the flow of milk warming my stomach and making me very drowsy as I lay with her. My mind began to wander as I fell into a rhythm with my breathing and nursing, my thoughts flitting from pure bliss to simple joy as Petra began to hum softly.

 

“Before you fall asleep,” she whispered softly between hums, “I want you to know that if this is the life you choose to live from now on, I promise you that I will be here to love you and take care of you.” she said.

 

I sleepily nodded and mumbled my love for her with a mouthful of milk and breast, the latter dribbling down my cheek and chin onto her belly.

 

“Mommy loves you too, Zelda.” she whispered, “Forever and always.” she added.

 

To Be Continued…

[TheUnknownAuthor]

Chapter Four

Ducky

 

I bit my lip and stifled a moan as she moved from kissing my lips to my chin and then my neck, her tongue making a brief appearance on my left nipple as she continued downward, lightly kissing my bare stomach, her fingers delicately grabbing my hips as she continued shimmying down the bed.

 

“We’re going to get caught.” I whispered to her.

 

She looked up for the briefest moment, the moonlight catching her blonde hair. “Not if you stay quiet.” she whispered back.

 

This was the sixth time she’d made a visit to my room under the cover of darkness, the sixth time the handful of little rocks she’d collected from the garden had ticked against my window to wake me up and allow her entry into the house, the sixth time we’d crept stealthily back upstairs, avoiding the creaking floorboards on the stairs and in the hallway, and the sixth time I’d felt so far out of my league that all I could manage to do was lay there and let her have her way with me.

 

Her hands had moved downward from my hips to the garment around my waist and I swore I could hear her lips spreading into a satisfied smile in the darkness. “I can’t believe you still wet the bed.” she said softly, her index finger tracing the middle of the crinkling garment.

 

I felt my cheeks flush as I looked down at her over my body. “It’s hereditary.” I said, “My grandma said my mom wet until she was in her twenties.” I told her.

 

She raised her head and smiled at me, “So, I’ve got a few years of this to look forward to then?” she asked playfully.

 

“If you just came to tease me-” I started to say before she reached up and pressed a finger to my lips to silence me.

 

“I wasn’t teasing.” she said, “It’s kind of super hot that you wet the bed.” she said.

 

I blushed again and stared at her in disbelief. “How is it hot?” I asked incredulously.

 

Her fingers danced across my stomach absently as she shrugged, “I dunno, the thought of you, a grown woman, having to wear a diaper to bed, knowing you’re going to wake up wet without any control over that whatsoever?” she asked, “Hot as fuck, Ducky.” she added.

 

I rolled my eyes. “I’ve asked you a thousand times not to call me that.” I grumbled.

 

She kissed my stomach, “Aww, is widdle Ducky embawassed?” she cooed in ridiculously exaggerated babytalk.

 

I sat up angrily. “Look, if this is what you’re here to do then mission accomplished, you can leave now.” I told her.

 

She smirked and got back up on all fours to crawl forward so she was face to face with me and then kissed my lips softly. “Are you gonna make me leave?” she asked after pulling her lips from mine.

 

I chewed my bottom lip but remained silent, my heart fluttering at her kiss, the anticipation of wanting her to do more filling me with anxious energy.

 

She gently guided me back to my laying position and perched above me like a lioness over a fresh kill, her eyes glittering in the moonlight through my window. “You’re not going to make me leave, are you,” she whispered, “Ducky?” she asked, her voice husky and dripping with lust.

 

I turned my head to the side to look away from her in annoyance only to have her gently grip my chin and turn my gaze back to her.

 

“Know what I think?” she asked.

 

I ignored her question.

 

She was moving down the bed again, kissing my naked flesh as she went. “I think,” a kiss on my collarbone, “you want,” a kiss on the space between my breasts, “me,” a kiss on my stomach, just above my bellybutton, “to stay.” a kiss on the border of diaper and stomach.

 

I inhaled deeply, “I only want you to stay if you’re nice to me.” I said, sounding like a hurt child even in my own ears.

 

She nodded softly. “I can be nice.” she said sweetly.

 

I nodded in agreement, “I know you can.” I said.

 

Her hands were lightly caressing the crinkly exterior of my diaper. “I was a really nice babysitter in high school.” she said. “I’m sure all that practice would make me an excellent babysitter for my big baby Ducky.” she cooed.

 

I moved to sit up again but was stopped by her hand on my chest, lightly but firmly pushing me back down as she made a chastising clucking sound with her tongue.

 

“It’s way past baby’s bedtime.” she said softly. “But,” she said, “if she showed her babysitter what a good girl she was, maybe she’d let her stay up a little bit longer for an extra special bedtime treat.” she purred, her fingers pressing gently against my sex through the front of the diaper.

 

I moaned softly, stifling myself by snapping my lips together tightly.

 

“You want to be a good girl for your babysitter, don’t you, Ducky?” she was asking as her fingers found the rhythm they were looking for.

 

I shuddered softly as jolts of pleasure ran through my body and I nodded and weakly agreed with little noises as I tried to remain quiet.

 

“All you have to do is make your cute little diaper all nice a soggy for me, baby.” she coaxed.

 

I’d heard her, but hadn’t believed what she’d said, but she was so good at getting me going that I was already looking to the future and the mind blowing orgasm that I was hurtling toward and merely managed to whimper softly.

 

“Shh.” she hushed, “Just relax and wet your diaper, baby.” she whispered, her fingers slowing their movement, “Or I can stop and leave.” she threatened.

 

We don’t know the moments that end up defining us when we’re in them, for me, my life was defined by the moment I met Petra, the moment my ass decided to make a quacking sound in front of her while we fed the ducks, the moment we thought of one another as something romantic, and this moment, when I flooded my diaper at her request just so I could cum.

 

What a pathetic excuse for an adult I am, huh?

 

********

 

Her fingers ran through my hair lightly, brushing the unkempt mass tenderly. “I know it hurts, baby.” she said softly.

 

She didn’t know, she couldn’t know, she’d never been dumped.

 

“But, you can’t just lay in bed all day moping.” she added.

 

I closed my eyes and willed her to go away and leave me alone.

 

“Listen, Zelda is taking a nap and we have the whole house to ourselves, so why don’t you get up, have a shower, and we can throw on a cheesy movie and cuddle on the couch?” she offered.

 

I exhaled through my nose. “Just leave me alone.” I croaked.

 

She sighed and I felt her rise from the bed. “Alright, I tried the grownup way out of respect to your little make believe time, but the game is over, Ducky, get up!” she ordered.

 

I turned my head to look at her from the corner of my eye, “Make believe time?” I asked. “Fuck you.” I said.

 

Rochelle entering my life was another defining moment, the night we spent together in the hotel on the way to Grandma’s funeral was another, her moving out and dumping me was one, and me saying ‘fuck you’ to Petra was one of the last truly defining moments of my life. Up until that moment I’d never crossed Petra, never even considered the possibility that I could or should rise up and speak out against her, and most definitely not to her face.

 

“Fuck me?” she asked, scoffing. “No, Ducky, fuck you!” she snapped.

 

I rolled over and looked up at her in shock.

 

“Oh, have I got your attention now?” she asked.

 

I stared and dumbly nodded, my heart racing in my chest out of sheer surprise more than anything else.

 

“Here’s some facts, Ducky,” she said, “One, you’re my daughter now and you live rent free under my roof, so if you ever,” her voice rose to the point of being a shrill shriek, “talk to me like I’m your fucking equal again, you can head right out that door and find another place to live.” she snapped.

 

I felt tears stinging my eyes and fought to keep them at bay, not wanting her to see me cry.

 

“Two, this room was a gesture of good faith in the hopes that having a grownup room with your grownup girlfriend would spur you to go back to school and make something of yourself.” she said, “Yet here I am, looking at a grown woman lying in bed in a practically leaking diaper, and it doesn’t seem like you’re even the slightest bit bothered by it!” she shouted.

 

My ears burned as my face warmed, a hazarded glance downward revealed the bruised looking diaper around my waist, the weight and smell of which had escaped my notice until that point.

 

She put her hands on her hips and looked down at me with a sternness I’d never seen in her before, and in that moment she was my mother and I was rocketed back to my childhood, my biological mother standing above me in my room, the smell of my wet bed filling both our nostrils as I sobbingly apologized and begged her not to follow through with her threat of making me wear diapers to bed.

 

“Three,” she said, her tone softening and becoming menacingly calm, “I am giving you exactly one chance to apologize for using such a terrible word in the first place, and to me, your Mommy of all people, and to get off that bed and into the bathroom so I can clean you up.” she explained in an even tone, cool and calculating.

 

I realized I was shaking when I moved to roll to the end of the bed, my arms wiggling like soggy noodles as they tried to support my weight, but I managed to get to the end of the bed and stood and turned to face her. “I’m sorry I said a naughty word at you, Mommy.” I said quietly, looking down at her bare feet rather than into her eyes, her crooked finger hooking beneath my chin to remedy that for me.

 

“Again.” she commanded, staring into my eyes as though she were trying to hypnotize me into obedience.

 

I swallowed and looked deeply into her eyes as my tears finally spilled over and down my cheeks, “I’m sorry, Mommy, I’ll never say that word again, I love you, I’m sorry!” I sobbed.

 

She stroked my hair and kissed my forehead. “Good girl.” she said softly before stepping aside and gesturing to the door for me to carry out her other command.

 

I took two steps forward and felt her hand on my shoulder, making me turn to look at her over my shoulder.

 

“Babies in this house crawl.” she said, a knowing smile on her lips.

 

I turned my head back and obediently lowered myself to the floor without a word of protest, wanting to be a good girl for her once again.

 

*********

 

“Don’t be nervous, you’re going to do just fine, I know it.” she reassured me, her hand gently rubbing my back.

 

I was focusing on calming my breathing down, worried that if I kept going the way I was that I’d pass out. “I don’t want to.” I said for the dozenth time over the last ten minutes.

 

She sighed softly. “You never want to, but then you do and Mommy makes that sweet little pussy of yours hum and all is right in the world, right?” she asked.

 

I blushed. “This is different, this is too much.” I told her.

 

She rolled her eyes, “It’s going into a store for baby wipes and powder so Mommy can change that rancid diaper of yours.” she pointed out. “If you’re too little a baby to even be able to do that, then maybe Mommy should go with you.” she said with a wicked smile.

 

I shook my head worriedly.

 

She cocked her head to the side with a pout, “No?” she asked. “You can ride in that cute little car shaped cart.” she said, pointing out my window at the red and yellow colored plastic car built around a shopping cart.

 

I shook my head again. “No!” I pleaded.

 

She smiled and put her hand on my bare thigh, “Then you’d better get going, baby.” she said softly.

 

I took stock of my life as I rose from the car, the mess in my diaper sluffing off my ass to rest in the misshapen seat of the garment. Petra and I had been dating, maybe that wasn’t the right word, playing was probably better, for nearly a year now, and she never seemed to get tired of pushing me to my limits when it came to humiliation and degradation. What had started in my bedroom with a simple diaper wetting and a rewarding orgasm had grown and contorted into something that thrived off of the blood rushing to my cheeks or the drool from my intimate lips, and much as I hated to be doing these things, I knew that she would reward me if I did, and I was hopelessly, head over heels in love with her.

 

Shuffling through the parking lot, the cool Autumn air on my bare legs and thighs, my nipples stiffening both from the cold and from the form of the grocery store rapidly growing as I pressed onward. She’d picked the store out because it was open twenty four hours, and the fact that it was three o’ clock in the morning was the only thing keeping me from fainting at the prospect of entering the store in just a belly shirt and an overly used diaper.

 

“Just go in and get the wipes and powder and you’re home free.” I repeated to myself, a mantra to keep my sanity as the automatic doors parted and allowed me entry into the significantly warmer store.

 

A middle aged man working a floor cleaner ignored my entrance, as did the college aged boy struggling to stay awake at the only manned register. I breathed a sigh of relief and shuffled forward, looking up at the signs hanging from the ceiling until I saw the one for ‘diapers’ and headed that way, my flip flops slapping with each step, making me sure that all eyes were drawn to the sound and staying for the show.

 

Passing the colorful packages with smiling infants adorning them, I found myself feeling jealous of them, they had parents that loved them and cared for them changed them without requiring any kind of token of devotion. Petra had been using the word ‘Mommy’ when she referred to herself almost exclusively now, dropping the previous ‘babysitter’ title pretty quickly after that first night, but her role wasn’t maternal in the slightest and it made me sad. Here I was, a young woman in her early twenties, kicked out of the home she’d grown up in for being gay, and the woman I’d been discovered in bed with that lead to the realization from my mother wanted nothing more than to put me in impossibly humiliating and usually very public displays for her enjoyment.

 

“What is taking you so long, young lady?” Petra’s voice called out from the end of the aisle.

 

She couldn’t have planned it to happen, though it wouldn’t have surprised me if she’d been able to given her repeated demonstrations of her ability to command and control me at her will, but nevertheless, her sudden interruption to my private thoughts in the relative silence of the store brought about a sudden release of urine into my diaper which decided that it was done for the night allowing for the stream of yellow liquid escaping me to run down my leg and pool on the floor around my feet.

 

Her smile told me that she was delighted with the result as she sashayed to me seductively and hooked the top of my diaper with her finger to lightly pull it from my middle and peek down inside before she looked into my eyes with a hunger that usually meant we’d both be very sweaty very soon. “Poor baby, Ducky.” she cooed softly as she unhooked her finger and walked calmly around me to perform the same humiliating examination in the back she had in the front. “Tell Mommy what happened.” she commanded sweetly, whispering the words into my ear.

 

I shuddered at the tingle of pleasure that ran up my back as her hot breath tickled my ear and neck, the flow of liquid finally stopping as I felt the burning heat of my face reach critical mass. “I leaked.” I said dumbly, knowing she wasn’t going to let me off that easily.

 

She came back around to face me, stepping cautiously over the quite impressive puddle I was standing in and playfully pouted. “Mommy can’t understand you when you’re trying to talk like a big girl, baby.” she reminded me.

 

In addition to naming herself ‘Mommy’, she also adopted a selective hearing disorder that only allowed her to understand me when we were ‘playing’ if I was either sucking my thumb or a pacifier, or spoke in babytalk, maximizing my humiliation. “Mommy, diapie weak.” I mumbled softly, looking beyond her to the end of the aisle for signs of someone appearing.

 

She slipped her hand beneath my shirt and up to my breast, smirking when I gasped and tried to pull away only to be stopped by her fingers pinching my erect nipple, making me whimper softly and return to where she wanted me to stand. “Mommy should probably change you, shouldn’t she?” she asked seductively.

 

I bit my lip and shook my head softly. “Home, peas.” I requested, my eyes pleading with her to let the game be done where it was.

 

She studied my eyes and considered my request, whether sincerely or not, I couldn’t tell before she shook her head. “I’m sorry, baby girl, but you can’t get back into Mommy’s car like this.” she said. With an overly dramatic sigh, she moved past me, her hand clutching mine as she went a short distance further down the aisle and grabbed a package of wipes, a container of powder, and stood scanning the rows of diapers.

 

“Baby diapees no fit, Mommy.” I astutely pointed out.

 

The bait had been taken, and the trap snapped shut before I even realized she’d set it up. “Silly Mommy!” she remarked as she playfully smacked her forehead and began dragging me down the aisle in search for the aisle that contained diapers my size.

 

*********

 

Rochelle made a lot of good points when she talked about Petra, she was manipulative, diabolical at times, selfish and greedy when it came to getting what she wanted, but Rochelle had focused on those attributes when she was angry and disappointed and it had blinded her to the things in Petra that had made Rochelle and I her daughters in the first place. No one had forced Rochelle to be adopted, she’d wanted it as much as Zack and Petra had, and no one forced her to give up all the adult trappings of her life to become a newborn once more for her new parents, the only thing Petra had ever done to Rochelle was love her and offer a room in her home and freedom to pursue a relationship with me for babysitting services when asked, but Rochelle had seen that as an attack and my hesitation to break free of diapers and baby play as a sign that we couldn’t be together.

 

“Mommy takes good care of her baby girl, doesn’t she?” Petra asked quietly as her hand gently massaged my stomach through the onesie she’d dressed me in, the light pressure working my bowels as I nursed from her on her lap.

 

I nodded softly.

 

“It wasn’t fair for Rochelle to expect you to grow up, was it?” she asked, her tone becoming soft and simple for the baby she was talking to to be able to understand.

 

I shook my head and felt a tear roll from the corner of my eye.

 

“All that’s left is for you to push all that yucky sadness and pain out, baby.” she coaxed, “Let go of all that big girl worry and admit that you’ll always be Mommy’s baby girl.” she continued.

 

*********

 

When we’d finally gotten to the family bathroom of the store with the package of diapers and the wipes and powder, Petra changed. Her hunger and lust for the helpless prey that she’d so thoroughly dominated was replaced with something I’d yet to see from her, something that I’d been holding out hope was waiting for me once I’d proved myself worthy of it in her eyes.

 

“Hop up onto the table, baby.” she said sweetly as she lowered the plastic board from the wall and took a firm hold of it to make sure it didn’t collapse under my weight as I obeyed her and took my place on my back on the table. “Mommy is very proud of her baby girl.” she said as she opened the package of wipes, speaking more to the room than to me.

 

My heart swelled with happiness at her being proud of me, something I hadn’t thought I would feel given the events of the night.

 

She started to hum as she began changing me, a song my mother had hummed to me before bed when I was little, a song that Petra had heard her hum when she slept over and became part of the family for the night. There was no disgust on her face when she opened my diaper, no hesitation when she began to wipe me clean, no resentment at being saddled with a diaper to change when parties could be gone to, all there was was a smile and that humming, and she mistook my tears as shame and gently guided my thumb into my mouth to quiet me, but the tears were from elation, not just at finally having her in the role she’d painted for herself, but at having a maternal figure in my life that loved me for who I was and would never abandon me as my biological mother had.

 

*********

 

The same hum began softly and I felt the shift inside me, not only of my insides obeying her command to fill my diaper, but a shift that made me feel so ungrateful and disrespectful to the woman that had been more a mother to me than my own and for nearly as long, a shift that changed my view of Rochelle from longing and remorse to resentment and disapproval, a shift that marked the final milestone in Petra and I’s journey together.

 

“I’ll bet that feels much better, doesn’t it, baby?” she asked softly, her hand lightly patting the bulk in my seat.

 

I nodded softly and pulled my head from her breast, looking up at her with wet, docile eyes. “Wuv Mommy fowevew.” I told her before latching back onto her breast.

 

“And Mommy loves you forever, Ducky.” she whispered before the humming resumed and guided me to peaceful sleep right where I belonged, in her arms.

 

To Be Continued…

[TheUnknownAuthor]

Chapter Five

Athena

 

There are three things that I hold in very high regard as traits in my friends and potential mates that should a person break one, I’ll be less than pleased with them and likely to discontinue future dealings should they break more than one or break one multiple times. The first is punctuality, more specifically, not being on time for scheduled get togethers. As a teacher, punctuality is something I stress the importance of to my students everyday, they have a schedule and they are expected to adhere to it and not be tardy or they’ll have to answer for it and accept responsibility for their actions, they’re in third grade and by that age they’ve either got the concept and I don’t have any issues with them, or they missed out on some key learning and development sessions in their earlier grades and need to be coached so they can alter the course they’re on for their own success.

 

The second is honesty. We’ve all told a little lie here or there to avoid a ticket or some other thing we deem acceptable to lie about, but those are usually to strangers, lying to someone you’re supposed to be friends, or more with is pretty much a no go for me. Depending on the severity of the lie, we may not see one another again because of it.

 

The third is adherence to previously agreed upon terms and, should the need arise, proper notice is given if a change needs to be made. I’m not ignorant to the fact that things come up in life beyond your control, but if nothing is said to me prior to me seeing you when a text or phone call could’ve prepared me for a different encounter than we’d planned on, I’m not going to be very impressed with the value you’ve placed on me as a person and on our relationship.

 

*********

 

I looked at my phone and sighed, fifteen minutes past the time Petra had told me she’d come and pick me up for a lunch date we’d made three days earlier. I was just about to give up on her and head back into my classroom to finish setting up for the following day’s book report presentations, I like to put a picture of the book the student chose on the projector so the rest of the class can look at something other than the student speaking, I find it’s helpful for the shyer students not to feel as on display but still have the experience of public speaking, ease them into it for the years to come, when a honk got my attention and I looked up to see Petra’s SUV pulling into the semicircle driveway out front of the school.

 

She was smiling and waving as if she were early, and I forced a smile and a polite wave back to her, until I opened the passenger door and saw Ducky and Zelda in the backseat in my periphery.

 

“I’m so sorry we’re late!” Petra lamely apologized. “With Rochelle gone and Ducky back to being a baby I’ve been frazzled trying to manage everything and without a sitter I had to get them ready and into the car and.” she made a sound that made her appear to be a crazy woman, a gritted teethed, high screaming sound.

 

“Hi, Aunty ‘Thena!” Zelda chirped, waving excitedly at me while Ducky copied the wave but quietly sucked her pacifier.

 

I turned my attention from Petra to the girls in the back, turning on a genuine smile for them. “Hello, sweeties!” I cooed. They were wearing matching outfits, yellow sundresses, yellow pacifiers with a little cartoon bumblebee on the front, Ducky’s bobbing softly in her mouth and Zelda’s clipped to her dress sitting in her lap, they visually screamed ‘I’m a cute baby girl, please lavish me with affection’, and I couldn’t ignore the request, I’m not made of bloody stone. “You two are absolutely precious little twins today, aren’t you?” I asked, smiling widely at them, that smile fading when Petra spoke again and I turned to face her.

 

“I would’ve called, but everything was just a whirlwind of-” she began to say.

 

I cleared my throat and climbed into the passenger seat and sat down before calmly closing my door and buckling my seatbelt, putting a hand on her thigh afterward, my throat clearing having silenced her and the goal of my hand on her thigh was to keep her silenced lest more bullshit come spilling out, “How about we just go back to your house and see if there’s anything we can enjoy eating there?” I offered, letting my hand move over her thigh to the space between her legs, my fingernail scraping the denim crotch of her jeans lightly.

 

She nodded her consent, “Yeah, I’m sure we can find something.” she said, her cheeks a bit pinker as she drove to the end of the driveway and onto the road to head back the way she’d come.

 

“Have they napped today?” I asked her, my hand still on her thigh.

 

She shook her head. “Ducky’s definitely ready, but Zelda might need to nurse before she’s ready to go down.” she explained.

 

I half turned to look back at Zelda, her pacifier now in her mouth moving in time it seemed with Ducky’s. “If Aunty ‘Thena promises a special treat, will you be good girls and go down for a nap when we get to your house?” I asked them.

 

Ducky nodded softly, her eyes already more than a little sleepy looking, and Zelda smiled at me and nodded obediently.

 

“There you go, we’re all agreed that naptime is on.” I told Petra, forcing myself not to smile as I noticed her chewing her bottom lip, her hand nonchalantly resting just close enough to her crotch to make herself feel good, but not close enough to advertise that she was horny and looking to keep the engine running.

 

When we got back to her house, Petra and I got out of the car and each went to one of the backdoors to help one of the girls out, Zelda getting out on her own with merely Petra’s hand helping her, while I had to pull Ducky out and heft the girl into my arms, her small frame slumping against me sleepily as I pushed the door closed with my butt and carried her to the front door.

 

We got the girls out of their dresses and into the crib and we each kissed their foreheads, lifting the side rail of the crib as the babies inside pressed their pacifier fronts together and made a kissing noise before Ducky rolled over and Zelda made her her little spoon leaving Petra and I smiling as we slipped out of the room.

 

“Aren’t they just the most precious thing you’ve ever seen?” she whispered.

 

I nodded and stood before her. Normally, Petra and I are almost the same height, but I was wearing my heels and even that small of a difference in height was shifting the power in my favor. What I had planned wasn’t going to be pleasant for her, though she’d probably think so initially, but it was important that she recognize the fact that I had the power and the status. The heels were picked for work primarily, but I had selected them for our lunch date to give her a reason to look up to me, to give her a feeling of smallness in comparison to me and through the course of the conversation I’d planned to have, drive home the point that she wasn’t a grownup just because she was an adult.

 

“Are you still hungry?” she purred as she moved in close to me and snaked a hand around my waist.

 

I looked down at her and nodded, taking her hand in mine and kissing the back of it softly. “I’m kind of in the mood for something different.” I whispered, “Do you have any handcuffs?” I asked.

 

Her face lit up, her eyes widening and a huge grin plastering across her face and I was reminded of my reaction to getting the princess castle playset I’d begged Santa for when I was five. “Uh huh!” she nodded vehemently.

 

I turned, still holding her hand and walked down the hall, my heels clicking softly on the wood floor as I led her to the main bedroom, pulling her into the room behind me and closing the door as I guided her past me, my hands resting on her shoulders as I leaned in to whisper softly into her ear, “Are you a grownup, Petra?” I asked, feeling the involuntary shudder of pleasure rippling through her body beneath my hands.

 

She leaned against my hands, relaxing into my touch and resting her head on my chest as she looked up at me. “Do you want me to be?” she asked before she started chewing her bottom lip coyly, a light flush rising in her cheeks.

 

I said nothing as I slipped from behind her and walked over to the bed, taking a seat on the edge of it to look at her as though I were studying her and assessing her before giving my answer, I knew the answer, but I needed her to come to the same conclusion on her own for this lesson to work. “Do you think a grownup would ask that question?” I asked her, raising an eyebrow.

 

Her blush deepened and she softly shook her head as she bashfully looked down to the floor.

 

“You can get down on the floor if you want, honey.” I offered, intentionally misinterpreting her gaze as quiet contemplation about a desire to be on the floor, my teacher voice inserting itself into my tone, the calm and supportive voice that comes from years of dealing with young children that need reassurance from time to time.

 

Whether she genuinely wanted to or was just playing the game and trying to give me what she thought I wanted, she lowered herself to the floor and awkwardly tried to decide if she wanted to be seated or on all fours, her internal dilemma written on her face until she decided that she’d probably be crawling to me shortly and settled on being on her hands and knees.

 

I smiled at her warmly, wanting her to feel like she was pleasing me. “Are you a good girl, Petra?” I asked, leaning forward with my elbows on my knees and my chin resting in my cupped hands as I looked at her affectionately to inspire further obedience.

 

She nodded and smiled eagerly, “Yes, Mommy.” she said in her little voice, one I hadn’t heard from her in quite a while.

 

I was genuinely surprised to hear her not only use her little voice, but to jump to immediately calling me ‘Mommy’, I actually began to feel sorry for her and held out my arms to invite her to come to me and watched her eagerly crawl forward and get up on her knees to enter my embrace. I hugged her and gently rubbed her back as I whispered softly, “It’s been hard not having your Daddy around, hasn’t it?” I asked.

 

She stiffened in my arms before nodding against my shoulder.

 

I smiled and nodded, all the pieces were falling into place and I was understanding Petra better, she wasn’t simply a manipulative bitch that delighted in playing with people and babying them, she was a brat that was acting out, running on impulse and simple desire when no one was giving her boundaries and rules to follow. I’d seen kids like Petra come through my classroom over the years, bullies with troubled home lives that simply needed to have someone nurture them and foster better behavior through patience and understanding. I pulled her up to her feet and scooted back on the bed before I helped her onto my lap, holding her so that her legs were around my waist as I resumed rubbing her back. “Tell me what you’re thinking.” I whispered.

 

She rested her head with her face over my shoulder and sighed heavily. “I love Zelda but I miss Zack.” she said quietly.

 

I softly bounced her with my legs under her bottom and nodded, “Have you talked with her about her being Zelda?” I asked.

 

She nodded, “She’s happy and doesn’t know if or when she’ll go back.” she told me, her voice tinged with sadness. “It’s exciting because it’s very hot having her as my baby but-” she hesitated.

 

I pulled her away from me so we could see each other’s faces, “But you’re not a grownup and it’s hard no having someone taking care of you?” I asked.

 

Her eyes were watering and she blinked and sent tears rolling down her cheeks as she silently nodded.

 

No one had taken the time to figure Petra out, not Illiana, not Rochelle, they’d just taken her actions at face value and made snap judgments about her and seeing her crying actually broke my heart.

 

“Rochelle left because she was mad at me for being a Mommy and I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings or make her feel bad, I just-” she buried her face into my chest and sobbed.

 

I hugged her tightly and continued bouncing her on my lap, “Shh, it’s okay.” I whispered. “I think I understand all of this now.” I told her.

 

She pulled away and wiped her eyes. “You do?” she asked.

 

I nodded and guided her head back to my chest. “You’re not a Mommy, Petra, you’re a little girl playing Mommy, doing things you think are what a Mommy does because you’ve read stories where Mommy’s take care of adult babies.” I explained, “Those aren’t real, those are fantasies people write with sex in mind and Rochelle wasn’t a baby, wasn’t your daughter,” I corrected, “for sex reasons, she was those things because she needed a mother and father and needed her little side cared for and nurtured.” I explained. “When she wanted to be seen as a grownup, your mind saw a fictional scenario where she needed to be forced back into being a baby because that’s all you know how to do, right?” I asked.

 

She shook her head, “I can be a good mother to her.” she argued, her voice thin and whiny.

 

“You can be, but being a parent is hard and not as fun as being a Mommy and satisfying your own needs at the same time, right?” I asked.

 

She was silent.

 

“You’ve made Ducky a baby again, was that for her benefit or yours?” I asked, trying a different approach.

 

Again she was silent.

 

“I think you heard Zelda and knew that her situation was different and you wanted to make her happy because you love her, but you needed something familiar in your life so you defaulted to bending Ducky to your whims and made her your baby because it turns you on.” I explained, “I think you’re trying to respect Zelda but make sure you’re happy in the process.” I added.

 

She started crying again. “I’m a bad person.” she blubbered into my chest.

 

I shook my head and patted her back, “No, you’re a little girl in need of adult supervision.” I corrected. My mind was working on the problem at hand, taking Illiana into account as well as Ducky and Zelda, and then also getting Rochelle back into the house, I sighed softly, “I have a proposition and I want you to listen quietly to everything I have to say before you respond, okay?” I asked.

 

She sniffled and nodded.

 

“In the past, when I’ve had students that were bullies or acted out, they craved attention and structure, and I’m seeing a lot of the same behavior in you.” I explained. “I’m willing to, with Illiana’s approval, step in and help get this house into a structured environment where everyone can thrive and be happy.” I said. “What that means is, again, with Illiana’s approval, moving in here until we can find a house of our own and establishing myself as the grownup of the house.” I told her.

 

She listened quietly and nodded.

 

“As the grownup, I will set up rules for everyone and they will be followed or punishments will be given.” I said. “You, for example, would be given structure in the form of chores and duties that will help take care of whomever desires to be a baby in the house, you’re routine will be scheduled out to make sure you stay on track with your responsibilities, and you’ll be rewarded for good performance and punished for poor performance.” I explained. “You will not be a baby and I won’t treat you like one, in fact, I will do everything in my power to discourage you from acting like a baby unless that’s a reward you would like, and then you will only receive that kind of attention from me when you perform well in your responsibilities.” I continued.

 

“So, you’d be the Mommy of the house?” she asked softly.

 

“No.” I told her plainly. “I am Illiana’s Mommy only.” I said, “For the rest of you, I’d simply be the authority in the house. All decisions and changes would go through me and everyone would agree to that prior to anything I’ve proposed actually occurring. If anyone doesn’t consent, it doesn’t happen.” I explained.

 

She nodded her understanding. “I would appreciate that if it happened.” she said softly. “Things have gotten pretty out of control without Zack.” she confessed.

 

I smiled and nodded. “They have, but they’re not completely broken.” I reassured her, “I’m confident that we can get things back in shape here, even if the shape is different than what it was before.” I said.

 

She nodded and hugged me. “Thank you, Athena.” she said softly.

 

I rubbed her back softly. “You’re welcome, Petra.” I said.

 

“Did you still want me to get the handcuffs?” she asked sheepishly.

 

I shook my head. “No, honey, I never really wanted them.” I confessed, smiling softly, “Today was always going to be a day for me to talk to you about the way you’ve been acting and Zelda’s health and well being because Illiana was worried about her.” I explained, “Our lunch date was a public place to keep you from having an outburst, but this worked so much better than I’d planned.” I said.

 

She pulled away from me and looked up at me, “Does Illiana hate me?” she asked.

 

I shook my head. “She was angry at you, but once I talk to her and explain that I was right about you, she’ll be just fine.” I said, smiling and kissing her forehead.

 

She smiled and then looked at me quizzically, “Right about me?” she asked.

 

I stifled a chuckle, “I told her that you were behaving like a little girl playing dress up in her mother’s clothes.” I told her.

 

She blushed and chewed her bottom lip. “I’m sorry.” she said quietly.

 

I lifted her chin and smiled at her. “Never apologize for being yourself.” I said. “I think you’re a very sweet girl at heart, Petra, you’re just not a very good adult.” I told her.

 

She blushed deeper.

 

“But, that’s okay because I’m going to teach you how to be a good adult and we’re going to get Rochelle back and this house is going to be filled with so much happiness and harmony that no one will ever feel sad when they’re home with their family.” I told her.

 

She smiled widely and nodded. “I like the sound of that.” she said, her voice still carrying a lingering hint of her little tone.

 

I looked at my watch. “Illiana will be getting off work soon, we’d better get me back to my car so I can head home and talk to her.” I said.

 

She nodded softly and moved to slide off my lap but I stopped her with my hands gently holding her hips.

 

“This thing I proposed?” I said. “It’s not going to be sexy fun times.” I told her, searching her eyes for understanding, “Everything will be regimented for you, including sexual gratification.” I said.

 

She blushed and nodded. “But I will get that, right?” she asked hopefully.

 

I smiled and nodded, reaching back to pat her butt softly before letting her go to get off my lap, “If you perform well, that’s on the table, yes.” I told her.

 

The woman that had arrived late to pick me up for our lunch date and had severely disappointed me with her behavior had evaporated in my time with her in the bedroom, replacing her was a little girl that looked like the woman but was a blank slate to be shaped and molded into someone I would be proud to call my friend if I succeeded in my goal. I stood up from the bed and our height difference suddenly seemed so much greater to me as I went to her and took her hand in mine, the soft pressure of her hand squeezing mine made me smile and told me that she’d taken a very large step in accepting whatever changes lay in store for her as my student.

 

To Be Continued…

[TheUnknownAuthor]

Chapter Six

Petra

 

I believe that we’re defined by numbers.

 

Our age defines where we should be at developmentally, our weight defines how people perceive our eating and exercising habits, the number of children we have defines what type of person we are in the eyes of others, and the number of sexual partners we’ve had defines whether we’re promiscuous or not. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t put stock into what other people think about me, but I’d also be lying if I said that I was satisfied with the numbers in my life.

 

I’m thirty two years old, and thirty two year old’s should, developmentally speaking, be fully functioning adults, able to care for themselves and others with little to no outside assistance. When I look at myself naked, I’m unhappy with the body I see looking back, I’ve got a little bit of pudge forming in places that used to be tight, I’ve got the body of a housewife and mother but inside I’m still very much a child. I’ve birthed no children, but I have clothes with spit up stains, several rooms of my house have a lingering scent of urine and feces masked by baby powder, and there’s a full nursery in the back bedroom.

 

All of those numbers pale in comparison though to my number of sexual partners. To date, I have engaged in some kind of sexual congress with one hundred and thirty eight women and two men, for a grand total of a hundred and forty. Am I a whore? Do I have sex as my profession? No and no. I am simply a connoisseur of the female form, a great appreciator of the curves of a naked woman’s body whether they’re big curves or little curves or anything in between. I’ve seen a pair of boobs, and I’m on an eternal quest to see the rest of them if I can.

 

Does my husband know this about me? To a degree. He knows that I have an insatiable appetite for women, but he doesn’t know the hard number, nor does he know that he’s not the only man I’ve had sex with. The thing is, I have a sort of fluid bucket list in my head, it changes and updates as certain things come to mind and I seek them out to experience them. Ducky was the catalyst, she was my first lesbian experience, but then her bedwetting opened the door for me to want to see and experience as many women in diapers and submissive to me as possible.

 

In college, I had a very good friend who’s mother ran a daycare out of their home, so my bucket list added “Play baby with Junai” to it. I wasn’t very good at bending women to my will at that time, but I did get her into a diaper but she claimed she was “so turned on” that she ripped it off herself and we fucked on the changing table, so not a complete failure.

 

I’m like a big game hunter in my pursuits, looking for the rarest things to add to my collection. Jenny was a devout Catholic, a successful, high priced lawyer, a married woman with two beautiful children, but when I saw her on the treadmill at the gym I knew I had to have her. Over the course of two weeks I moved closer and closer to her, like a spider creeping across her web to nab a wayward fly, and we hit it off as we ran side by side and that afternoon she committed adultery with me in a very expensive hotel room and two days later I watched her sobbingly fill her diaper for me before I made her cum in that diaper.

 

Carla was a gorgeous Black dentist, my dentist in fact, she loved Jazz and wasn’t a fan of the online dating scene because too many of the guys there were quick to send pictures of their junk unsolicited. We ended up doing disgusting things in her dentist chair, very unsanitary things, but when it was over, we lay naked on that chair together in pristine white diapers that didn’t stay that way long.

 

The list goes on and on and on, but the moral of the story is that I was a natural disaster made human, a storm that moves in and devastates everything in its path and moves on to another area with no regard to the permanent damage I have caused. Junai dropped out of school because her mother saw the nanny cam footage of her daughter and I sullying that changing table and sent her off to a “scared straight” camp in buttfuck nowhere where she learned to hate gay people and went to jail for smashing a guys head with a brick at a gay marriage rally. Jenny’s husband divorced her and got full custody of the kids, she sought me out for solace, but I was already sixteen girls removed from her and married, so I turned her away and she became an alcoholic and lost her partnership and killed herself. Carla stalked me for a bit, begging me to come back to her when I found a new dentist after our encounter, and went completely off the rails and tried to recreate our night together with a girl that looked a little like me while she was under the gas, the girl was fifteen and Carla went to jail and can’t live near schools anymore.

 

I know these stories because I hate myself for being the way I am and keep up with the women I sleep with, to a degree. I have a folder on my laptop hidden away inside two other nondescript folders that has names and addresses and statuses for all of the women I’ve slept with. I started it with Ducky as a way for me to document the things I’d done with her and referred to and refreshed it as time went on, but now it’s more of a security measure, and memorial in some cases. This all makes me sound like a person that values human life so little that I’m flippant about someone’s death or incarceration, but I’m not, I visit the graves and fund the commissaries in an effort to make amends for what I’ve done to these women. They aren’t the only victims here though, I’m a survivor.

 

Devon was a TA in my Political Science class in college, he was tall and athletic and every girl stared at him dreamily in class, but he picked me. We went on a few dates and he was a perfect gentleman until he wasn’t. I brought up diapers, my singular focus gnawing at me on every earlier date, and he responded with a sort of reluctant acceptance, agreeing to diaper me because it was something that turned me on and if I was turned on then he could fuck me. Our night stretched over three days, me chained to the bed and him filming him and his buddies pissing and shitting on me and raping me, verbally degrading me and making me feel like I was nothing and that only death would end my suffering.

 

A neighbor ended up calling the police when the smell finally got to be bad enough that they were concerned someone had died in the apartment. I swore off of men because of Devon, but Zack eventually came along and restored my faith in humanity, though I never told him or anyone else about what had happened to me outside of my therapist. I would’ve thought that surviving that would’ve broken me like so many other women who survived awful attacks, but it didn’t, all it did was galvanize my resolve to be better than them, to not hurt the women I was with for the sake of getting off.

 

Once Zack and I were married and established the rules of our marriage, I included him in my quest, talking to him about girls at the gym and my plans for them. I still sought out every race, religion, creed, height, weight, orientation, you name it, but married women were off the menu and nothing happened at their place of business. I was better because of Zack and because of my experience and it made for beautiful things like Rochelle becoming our daughter and nothing will make that less than one of the greatest things I’ve had happen in my life.

 

Athena was right about me, I’m not a grownup, I just mimic the behaviors I see in grownups or, more accurately, the behaviors I read about and see in ABDL porn. I’ve gone so long indulging in my fantasies that real relationships aren’t something that interests me, shit, Zack and I couldn’t even go on a date that long ago without me wetting myself and having Illiana get me ready for a bath. I crave the lifestyle in whatever form I can get, I seek out humiliating and degrading others and occasionally myself so that I can quiet the hum in my brain that tells me I need to cum, but the hum seems to always be there as though I’ve built up a tolerance to exposure over the years.

 

Part of me wants Athena to move in and do to me what I’ve done to Ducky over the years, break me of my naughty behaviors with spankings and punishments until I’m her sweet little girl, pliant and submissive to her in every way imaginable, part of me wants to fail her so I can get those punishments, but the part of me that loves Zelda is committed to improvement, committed to becoming the kind of person that is loved because of actual genuine emotion and not because of sex or scenes we engage in.

 

*********

 

I opened the door and smiled without realizing I was doing it when I saw Rochelle standing there, but my smile faded when she passed by me without a word and entered the house. “Thank you for coming.” I said timidly.

 

She sighed and turned to me. “I’m here because you said it was important and that it was for Deandra and Zelda.” she said coldly. “If this is some kind of bullshit game, I swear.” she warned, her dark eyes burning with anger toward me.

 

I felt genuine fear well up in me when I looked into her eyes, the much smaller girl scaring me with just a look and a stern warning of someone deeply emotionally invested in people I’d wronged and abused. I cleared my throat, “Please have a seat in the living room with everyone else.” I said, my voice quavering a bit in her presence, bringing a flush to my cheeks.

 

She turned and went to the living room, taking a seat in the large chair to the left of the couch beside Ducky without a word to the girl.

 

I made my way into the living room and stood in the middle of the furniture, the coffee table having been moved aside for the presentation and looked from one person to the next, my family and friends gathered for my announcement. Zelda was seated on the couch in her “pwettifullest” dress, a baby blue satin number with lace adorning the sleeves and hem, she’d insisted on wearing it when she found out Rochelle was coming and I couldn’t deny that she was indeed quite precious looking in it, her short hair done in a cute little bob, her makeup subtle enough to feminize her and make her look as pretty as she felt. I’d made Ducky dress in her grownup clothes, quelling her protests that Rochelle didn’t decide what she wore by reminding her that I did, I’d compromised and let her wear a pull up, but Rochelle didn’t need to know that, she was seeing her girlfriend dressed appropriately for her age and that’s what was important. Athena and Illiana were dressed in their work clothes, a professional looking pantsuit for Illiana and a modestly cut purple dress for Athena.

 

“It’s come to my attention that I am not a grownup.” I said after looking to Athena for encouragement to be able to begin, the flutter in my stomach making me very glad I’d visited the bathroom before Rochelle arrived to avoid proving to everyone the truth about that statement with a very embarrassing accident from nervousness.

 

Rochelle scoffed, “No shit.” she sneered.

I looked to Athena, my eyes filling with tears and my face and ears burning. My heart fluttered when she stood and came to me, standing behind me, her heels cementing the role she’d been cast into as her hands gently rested on my shoulders, her thumbs lightly rubbing them to calm me. “This family meeting is as close to an intervention as we’re going to get.” she said calmly, “As Petra said, she is in no way a grownup, she may be an adult, but her behavior and actions are those of a spoiled, bratty little girl and I think a lot of us are both tired of it, and concerned for those that she’s secured power over.” she explained, looking to Zelda and Ducky specifically. Her hands lightly squeezed my shoulders and she knelt down to whisper into my ear.

 

I nodded softly. “Rochelle, I’m sorry that I went back on our agreement and tried to manipulate your life by using Ducky as a pawn.” I said, my voice trembling as tears began to streak down my cheeks. You’re both adults and I desperately want you to have a happy and healthy relationship, but,” I looked at Zelda and stifled a sob, “I don’t know what that is anymore,” I said sadly before facing Rochelle again, “and I defaulted to crazy fetish fantasy stuff because I don’t know the difference between love and happiness and sexual gratification.” I confessed. “If you can forgive me and come back home, I promise you that things will be different.” I told her.

 

Athena rubbed my shoulders softly and gave one a reassuring pat. “Illiana and I have agreed to move into the house, Petra has agreed to move into the nursery so that we can have the main bedroom, and Petra has agreed to relinquish all control of her life to me until she proves that she has learned what it means to be a grownup and the value of other people’s lives so that she doesn’t see them as playthings in her silly little sex games.” she explained. “If you decide to move back into the house, Rochelle, I promise you that you and Deandra will be free to live your lives the way you want without any interference from Petra or myself.” she added.

 

Rochelle nodded, her face a mask devoid of telling emotion. “When you say she’s giving up all control to you and moving into the nursery, that means what?” she asked.

 

Athena gave my shoulders a gentle squeeze once more to prompt me to answer the question. “It means that she’s in charge.” I said. “I have zero control over anyone or anything in this house going forward aside from changing Zelda and feeding her.” I explained.

 

Rochelle rolled her eyes. “So you’re still in control of her!” she spat. “Nothing is going to change unless you’re shown how fucking degrading it is to be under your thumb.” she snapped. “Why is Zelda still expected to live as a baby?” she asked.

 

Zelda scooted off the couch and toddled over to Rochelle, lowering herself to her knees beside the couch as she took her daughter’s hand in her own and kissed it softly. “I know you’re mad, honey,” Zelda said softly, “Believe me, I know the damage that Petra has caused to the people around her over the years, but this is my choice.” she said, looking up at Rochelle with wet eyes, “I’m happy being Zelda, happy being Petra’s baby, we’ve discussed this as adults and I’ve made my choice and she’s chosen to support me in it.” she explained. “Please come home, I promise you that things will be better if you just give Athena a chance to show you that she’s committed to helping Petra get better.” she begged.

 

Rochelle’s face softened and she wiped her eyes and nodded softly. “Okay, Daddy.” she said quietly before Zelda stood up and they hugged one another. “I forgive you, Petra.” she said, looking at me as she hugged Zelda.

 

Athena cleared her throat after a moment to allow Zelda and Rochelle to hug. “Petra needs to continue her apologies.” she said, the practiced tone of a teacher well versed in settling a classroom making itself known.

 

Zelda crawled up onto the chair and nestled between Ducky and Rochelle, the two smaller girls cuddling her as she wiped her eyes and sucked her pacifier.

 

“Deandra,” I said, looking at Ducky, “you’re my first love and my best friend and I have hurt you more than I have anyone else in this room combined.” I said, “I’ve done things to you and made you do things to yourself that no human being should ever do to another.” I was crying as soon as I saw her starting to cry, “I can’t ever undo those things, but if you can forgive me, I promise you that I will become someone that you can feel safe around and feel loved by without fear of what you’re going to have to endure to get that.” I sobbingly said, wanting desperately to turn and bury my face in Athena’s chest until she made me feel better.

 

Ducky sniffled and wiped her face with the sleeves of her shirt. “I forgive you, Petra.” she said after several attempts to get the words out, her thumb entering her mouth as she lay against Zelda and Rochelle stroked her hair.

 

“I know this is extremely difficult, honey, but you’re doing very well.” Athena whispered as she knelt down beside me and held a tissue up for me to take.

 

After emotions had calmed, I looked at Zelda. “We’ve talked about what you want and what you need, and you have my full and complete support.” I told her, smiling when she smiled behind her pacifier at me, “But, this is going to change our dynamic, I can’t be your Mommy, not until I understand what that means, but I will take care of you and make sure you’re happy and healthy every second of every day.” I told her.

 

Athena turned me around and hugged me, rubbing my back softly, “I’m very proud of you, Petra.” she said. “You may sit down now.” she added once she’d let me go.

 

I went to the couch and sat down, looking over at my family together on the chair and sniffled and wiped my eyes. Zelda was the first to come join me, sitting beside me and hugging me tightly, then Ducky followed suit, and Rochelle after her, the four of us cuddling one another as we all cried and professed our love for one another.

 

Athena waited patiently, going to Illiana to show her own family love, and then took her place once more in the center of the room facing us on the couch. “After a very long discussion with Illiana and Petra, we have all agreed on the terms of this arrangement.” she began, “I will be Mommy to both Illiana and Petra while we live here, but Petra will not be a baby, she will be in the nursery with Zelda simply because it’s the only room available, but she will have a bed befitting her role as a child within this house.” she explained. “As she requires them overnight, she will be diapered for bed and that will be handled by anyone that is willing to do it as will changes in the morning, she will not be allowed diapers for any other reason aside from serious illness, and she will not be allowed to put on or remove her own diaper.” she explained.

 

The room was silent as she spoke, the respect she commanded without effort was complete, and I held Zelda and listened with her while Rochelle held Ducky and they listened together.

 

“The rules for Petra will be posted on the wall at the end of the hallway for everyone to see so that should Petra be caught breaking a rule, I can be notified and deliver her punishment.” Athena continued. “The rules are as follows:” she said, unfolding a piece of paper she’d gotten from her purse.

 

1. Petra’s bedtime will be 9 PM Sunday through Thursday and 11 PM Friday and Saturday. This is the time that she will be expected to have brushed her teeth, used the bathroom, washed her face and gotten into her diaper and pajamas, not the time that those things start being done. On days that she is not working, Petra will be required to take a nap at the same time as Zelda to ensure her attitude and productivity remain acceptable.

 

2. Petra has zero authority in the house, not over herself or anyone else. Her status in the house is equal to that of a small child and she is to be talked to and handled as such.

 

3. Alcohol is off limits for Petra until Athena certifies her as a grownup.

 

4. Driving is off limits. Athena or another grownup in the house will provide transportation to and from work when Petra has work and to appointments or errands. Petra will only be allowed to ride in the backseat.

 

5. If Athena isn’t home, and cannot be reached, Illiana, Deandra, or Rochelle are to be contacted for consent on any matter normally requiring Athena’s consent. If none of them are available then no consent is given and nothing is allowed to be done.

 

6. Petra will have a chore chart in the kitchen that will be checked every day that Petra is not at work, successful completion of that days chores will earn a reward of Petra’s choosing (Athena’s approval required) and failure to complete any chore will result in a punishment for each failed item (Athena’s decision on punishment required)

 

7. Petra’s progress will be monitored closely by Athena and everyone else living in the house and a family meeting will be held at the end of every week to discuss Petra’s progress and any adjustments that need to be made to routines, schedules, rewards or punishments as required.

 

8. Should it be required due to clear lack of progress or overwhelmingly negative or undesirable behavior, Petra has agreed to check herself into a rehabilitation facility for her problems and has agreed that only Athena will be given the authority to check her back out.

 

9. Sex and masturbation are forbidden. The only exception is if an orgasm is approved by Athena as a reward for a successful week of chore completion.

 

10. While she is NOT a baby, she can be reminded to use the restroom should anyone be concerned she may need to go but is otherwise distracted. In the event of an accident, a punishment will be given and training panties will be required for one full week from the day of the accident. Should she have an accident in her training panties, another punishment will be given and one full week of diapers will begin. After a week of diapers she will be put back into training panties for a week and panties should she avoid any accidents in that time.

 

11. The ONLY Mommy responsibility she has been allowed to have is breastfeeding Zelda, and only because Zelda specifically requested it.

 

I sat with blazing cheeks as Athena read the list of rules, feeling every set of eyes on me as the list went on and the reality and gravity of the situation was made crystal clear to everyone as it had been to me when I signed the agreement Athena gave me with the rules on it earlier that morning.

 

“Her bed will be here in the morning, but for tonight, a sleepover with Zelda should be alright for tonight, right, Petra?” Athena asked me.

 

I nodded. “Yes, Mommy.” I agreed, hugging Zelda and kissing her cheek.

 

Athena smiled and checked her phone. “Well, it’s nearly bedtime, so I want you to go and brush your teeth and wash up and use the bathroom if you need to, and then you can come back and tell everyone goodnight before we get you ready for bed.” she commanded.

 

I nodded and slipped off the couch and down the hall to the bathroom, brushing my teeth and cleaning my makeup off my face, looking at myself in the mirror and finding a smile creeping across my lips. Usually when I look in the mirror I see the woman that hurt so many people in her life, the woman that’s been damaged by her past and has spiraled out of control, I used to hate looking at myself in the mirror, but as I finished cleaning my face I saw a fresh faced little girl that had a lot of work to do but was being given the chance to better herself and the help of a strong, compassionate woman and the support of a loving family to ensure she succeeded in her mission.

 

I made my way back to the living room and went from person to person to hug them and kiss their cheek as I said goodnight to them. Illiana hugged me tightly and kissed my forehead and wished me luck and told me she was proud of me, Rochelle hugged me and told me she was proud of me, Ducky kissed my cheeks and told me she was proud of me after she hugged me, and my heart was filled with such relief and happiness that I practically floated to Athena to let her take my hand in hers, Zelda holding her other hand as she led us both back to the nursery to get ready for bed.

 

“How are you feeling?” Athena asked me as she got Zelda out of her dress and hung it back up in the closet.

 

My cheeks ached from smiling so hard. “Really good.” I told her. “It was scary and hard, but it felt good to apologize and have people forgive me and support me with this.” I told her.

 

She helped Zelda up onto the changing table and began changing her diaper. “You’ve got a lot of very strong women in your corner.” she said. “Just remember that they’re your support structure, you need to be the one to do the heavy lifting if this is going to succeed.” she reminded.

 

I nodded. “I know, Mommy, I’ll do good.” I told her, watching how well she handled Zelda and how loving she was with her, my cheeks flushing as I looked down at the floor.

 

“What’s wrong, honey?” she asked me as she taped the new diaper closed and started dressing Zelda in her footed pajamas.

 

The butterflies in my stomach stirred up again. “You’re such a good Mommy.” I told her.

 

She zipped Zelda’s pajamas up and helped her down, smiling at me as she led her to the crib and helped her up and into it before she came to me and started undressing me. “You’ll be a good Mommy one day too.” she said as she folded each article of clothing as she removed it, “Until then though, just focus on being the best you that you can be, okay?” she asked.

 

I nodded and flushed as I caught myself staring at her cleavage as she knelt down in front of me. “I will, Mommy.” I told her.

 

She set the folded clothes aside and led me up and onto the changing table, smiling warmly at me as she grabbed a diaper from beneath the tabletop.

 

“Mommy?” I asked her as I began chewing my bottom lip.

 

“Yes, dear?” she asked as she unfolded the diaper and shook out the creases and fluffed it in her hands.

 

My cheeks flushed at the sound of the diaper rustling. “If I do a good job and become a grownup,” I hesitated, raising my bottom when she lightly tapped my thigh to slide the diaper beneath me, “do you think you could do something for me as a reward?” I asked.

 

She was opening the container of baby powder and stopped to look at me quizzically, “What kind of something?” she asked as she started dusting my diaper area with the powder, lightly rubbing it in when she was done.

 

I swallowed and bit my lip harder than I intended, “Could you tell me you love me?” I blurted out, “Just once, and only if I pass my training.” I clarified.

 

Her smile lit up her face as she brought the front of the diaper up and taped it closed, “Can I ask why?” she asked as she helped me sit up to get my pajamas on.

 

I shrugged, “You’re really smart and successful and mature and responsible and you’re helping me and it means a lot to me and I know that it would make me really happy to hear you say it.” I blushingly confessed.

 

She wrangled the footed pajamas onto me and zipped them up before she hugged me and looked me in the eyes, studying me for a moment before she spoke, “Petra,” she said softly, “do you know the difference between love and being in love?” she asked.

 

I nodded softly, “Love is something anyone can have for anyone else, but in love is only for romantic relationships.” I said.

 

She nodded. “And you understand that if I did tell you I loved you that wouldn’t mean we were in a romantic relationship, right?” she asked.

 

I nodded, “Yes, Mommy.” I told her. “I know you’re in love with Illiana.” I added.

 

She smiled and kissed my forehead before she took my hands and helped me off the changing table to lead me to the crib, patting my bottom softly as I climbed in and snuggled up to Zelda to make her my little spoon. “I do love parts of you, honey, but I’m not ready to say that I love the you that I’ve seen so far.” she said. “Do you understand?” she asked sympathetically.

 

I nodded and turned my head to look up at her, “Yes, Mommy.” I said. “You’ll see though, I’ll do really good and be better.” I told her as I started to yawn.

 

She smiled and pulled the covers up over us before she started to raise the side of the crib.

 

“Mommy?” I asked.

 

She sighed softly, “It’s bedtime, young lady.” she gently warned.

 

“I know, but, can I have a binky like Zelda?” I asked.

 

She looked at me for a moment and almost reluctantly nodded her consent before she went to the basket of pacifiers below the changing table top and brought back a red one with a cartoon puppy face on the front and gently inserted into my mouth and clipped it to my pajamas. “You’re not a baby, Petra, don’t forget that.” she reminded me as she raised the side of the crib and went to the door, shutting off the light, “Goodnight, girls.” she whispered before she shut the door.

 

In the nightlight lit room and snuggled into Zelda and sighed contentedly, “I love you, Zelly.” I whispered around my pacifier.

 

“Love you too, Petra.” she dreamily muttered.

 

I closed my eyes and luxuriated in the feeling of stability and calm that I hadn’t realized had been missing for such a long time in my life until I felt them return. I had my husband, my daughters, a Mommy and a pseudo sister, I supposed, in Illiana, and everyone was there for me and was going to help me get my life back on track, for the first time in a long time I fell asleep without tossing and turning and slept without nightmares, I slept the sleep of innocence, I slept like a baby.

 

To Be Continued…

[kerry]

This was a fascinating, frustrating chapter. I feel as if we should have known some of these things about Petra all along; she has been a terrible human being and has hurt people badly without a lot of real remorse. She's not quite a psychopath; her need to visit graves and fill commissary accounts says that she does not like herself much. But she's lived an almost amazingly dark life, spreading damage everywhere she foes. I was surprised to find that Ducky was her first love. Maybe I'm just not sure how long they've known each other, but 137 other women since then seems almost outside the realm of belief. And honestly I don't feel that her own past—the gang rape, etc.—in any way mitigates who she became. The woman deserves to be in prison. She deserves to be hated. But it seems that she will be allowed to turn a corner and rehabilitate herself...not that it will help her past victims.

Once again, though, this all comes as a shock to me if I discount the what we have seen in these past few chapters. Where was all of this in all of the chapters before? And how did Zack, who apparently knew about it, ever accept her into his life? How could he place Ducky and Rochelle in that kind of jeopardy? And now her punishment for all of her dark deeds is, what, to be allowed to live in a way that seems close to fulfilling her fetish? I mean, I know she will not be a baby and is not allowed to masturbate, but still... 

As I said, a fascinating, frustrating chapter.

[TheUnknownAuthor]

8 hours ago, kerry said:

This was a fascinating, frustrating chapter. I feel as if we should have known some of these things about Petra all along; she has been a terrible human being and has hurt people badly without a lot of real remorse. She's not quite a psychopath; her need to visit graves and fill commissary accounts says that she does not like herself much. But she's lived an almost amazingly dark life, spreading damage everywhere she foes. I was surprised to find that Ducky was her first love. Maybe I'm just not sure how long they've known each other, but 137 other women since then seems almost outside the realm of belief. And honestly I don't feel that her own past—the gang rape, etc.—in any way mitigates who she became. The woman deserves to be in prison. She deserves to be hated. But it seems that she will be allowed to turn a corner and rehabilitate herself...not that it will help her past victims.

Once again, though, this all comes as a shock to me if I discount the what we have seen in these past few chapters. Where was all of this in all of the chapters before? And how did Zack, who apparently knew about it, ever accept her into his life? How could he place Ducky and Rochelle in that kind of jeopardy? And now her punishment for all of her dark deeds is, what, to be allowed to live in a way that seems close to fulfilling her fetish? I mean, I know she will not be a baby and is not allowed to masturbate, but still... 

As I said, a fascinating, frustrating chapter.

First of all, thank you so much for reading and giving your thoughts, I greatly appreciate it.

Now, as far as your concerns go, I'm going to address them and try and clear up some confusion, not because I think you didn't understand, but because I maybe didn't do the best job of conveying my thoughts so that we get a clear picture of the state of things.

Petra tells us of two specific women, one that ends up dead and another that ends up in prison and she shares that she feels, at least partly, responsible for their fates, but I would argue that regardless of Petra's actions when she was with them, ultimately they made their choices and ended up where they did. I'm not saying that Petra isn't a terrible person, she is, but I would argue that she's a terrible person moreso for her actions with Ducky than any other person. We know that Ducky loves her and that Petra at least claims to love Ducky, yet she uses that love to manipulate Ducky and force her to do things that satiate her own perverse desires which makes her calculating and as close to evil as possible, at least to me.

I'm viewing Petra's actions as something similar to an alcoholic's, an inability to avoid falling into old patterns and destructive behaviors without first recognizing they have a problem and committing to making changes in their life to overcome the addiction and come out a better person. She's proven that she's conscious of the fact that she has a problem, but that other part isn't coming without outside influence. As for Zack, Petra says that he doesn't know the hard number of women she's been with, he knows the women she's brought home and maybe knows that she's fooled around to some degree with them, but not knowing the full weight of the situation has given him an unrealistic idea of who is wife truly is and blinded him to the very real problem that she has because of it. As far as Ducky and Rochelle go, Petra has shown an ability to be a loving and, to a degree, good mother to them, but this is more following the trappings of fantasy scenarios and lucking up into doing well, mimicking the idea of what she thinks a Mommy is and doing a passable job than actually having the ability to be a good Mommy indefinitely.

Keeping with the alcoholic comparison, my thought was that Athena stepping in and laying down rules and strict schedules was akin to removing temptation from the house. Petra's problem is a disconnect from reality, her fantasies drive her behavior and, while on paper it may seem like the perfect reward, living the life of a child will not be fun for her, especially when the reality of how little freedom she has sets in.

The truth is, I'm trying to do something that has weight to it beyond "everyone has this fetish and the house is constantly horny", I'm trying to show that too much of a good thing can be bad and that letting an inmate run the asylum is never good for business. I'll admit that maybe I missed the mark in my execution of those ideals, but I feel strongly that this is a good direction to go, an interesting theme to explore, and ultimately, depending on how she does with this new home situation, a benefit to everyone in her life and herself included.

I've said before in other stories of mine that I'm a firm believer in stories being living breathing entities that find their way to being what they want to be, they grow and adapt to what it is that they see themselves as being about, and it's the job of the author to roll with those changes and do their best to do justice to that stories metamorphosis, this is the longest story I've ever done, and I can see where the longer it goes the more likely it is that I'll drop the ball and let people down BUT I don't feel that I'm letting the story down, and in the end if I can honestly say that I'll hold my head up high and stand behind my story.

TL;DR: Maybe I didn't express my thoughts concisely enough with this and I sincerely apologize for that but I do hope that, if you continue reading, that you get to see where I'm coming from and it alleviates those frustrations.

As always, I am extremely grateful for you reading and taking the time to share your thoughts, it's exceptionally helpful to me to hear what others think of my work. I hope that my ramblings here came somewhere close to a point that makes sense.

[kerry]

Thank you for taking the time to write such a clear response to my message. You were under no obligation to do that, but honestly in doing so you remind me of myself: I could never let such feedback go without responding to it either. ?

I do understand what you're doing with Petra here, and of course I also understand that characters often have their own stories to tell that authors merely discover. It's maybe a bit unfortunate that, in this case, you had already posted so much of the story before Petra decided to reveal herself as such a horrible person; thus, the character herself seems to have undergone a sudden shift as you expose these new revelations. If you had been writing this offline, you probably would have gone back and made changes earlier so that all of this would not seem so much to have come out of nowhere, but that's not the reality for a serialized piece of writing. 

Honestly, sometimes I am amazed that online serializers don't face this issue more often. I'm a huge fan of Wildbow, the Canadian fantasy writer who publishes his work—which often ends up in the millions of words—online, over months or even years. I can't really imagine that he has everything planned out so far in advance in such detail, yet it never seems self-contradictory...which I find incredible. Writing my own novels, I often find myself going back to earlier chapters and revising things that don't quite fit. (In one case, for example, a main character suddenly revealed to me that she had always wanted to be a singer, and I had to go back and tweak her narrative all along to make that understandable and believable.) 

Anyway, I love what you have done with this very unusual piece. It's probably not for everyone, but I like its thoughtful, almost philosophical nature as well as the interesting found family at its core. That's probably why I've had issues lately as characters reveal inner worlds I did not see before. You'd think that, as a trans woman who hid her own truth from the world until it got too hard to hold back and I transitioned at age 40, I'd have some kind of innate grasp of this sort of thing, but I guess I'm only as human as the next person. ?

[TheUnknownAuthor]

24 minutes ago, kerry said:

Thank you for taking the time to write such a clear response to my message. You were under no obligation to do that, but honestly in doing so you remind me of myself: I could never let such feedback go without responding to it either. ?

I do understand what you're doing with Petra here, and of course I also understand that characters often have their own stories to tell that authors merely discover. It's maybe a bit unfortunate that, in this case, you had already posted so much of the story before Petra decided to reveal herself as such a horrible person; thus, the character herself seems to have undergone a sudden shift as you expose these new revelations. If you had been writing this offline, you probably would have gone back and made changes earlier so that all of this would not seem so much to have come out of nowhere, but that's not the reality for a serialized piece of writing. 

Honestly, sometimes I am amazed that online serializers don't face this issue more often. I'm a huge fan of Wildbow, the Canadian fantasy writer who publishes his work—which often ends up in the millions of words—online, over months or even years. I can't really imagine that he has everything planned out so far in advance in such detail, yet it never seems self-contradictory...which I find incredible. Writing my own novels, I often find myself going back to earlier chapters and revising things that don't quite fit. (In one case, for example, a main character suddenly revealed to me that she had always wanted to be a singer, and I had to go back and tweak her narrative all along to make that understandable and believable.) 

Anyway, I love what you have done with this very unusual piece. It's probably not for everyone, but I like its thoughtful, almost philosophical nature as well as the interesting found family at its core. That's probably why I've had issues lately as characters reveal inner worlds I did not see before. You'd think that, as a trans woman who hid her own truth from the world until it got too hard to hold back and I transitioned at age 40, I'd have some kind of innate grasp of this sort of thing, but I guess I'm only as human as the next person. ?

I feel that as the author, I do have some obligation to address a concern or criticism, unless it's simply a matter of personal opinion differing with my own feelings on how my story should be told, but you bring up a valid point in the nature of writing this way. I personally don't see Petra's reveal here to be something to be concerned about in the sense that she's suddenly a completely different character, we've seen her manipulation throughout and had bits of backstory given through her history with Ducky to let us know that she's maybe not the greatest or most considerate person on the planet, but that doesn't make her irredeemable in my opinion, it just means that we've learned she's in deeper than we thought and has greater hurdles to overcome to be a better person for herself and her family. Were I to have written all of this out and had the ability to go back and edit earlier chapters, I don't think I would for this, I feel that we learned a big piece of history and it changed the way we perceive Petra but had we been front loaded that information earlier then we may not have been as interested in her as a person, pinning an intense dislike and outright dismissal on her based on our feelings rather than facts.

At the end of the day, fictional people in stories on a fetish forum aren't always going to be sterling examples of great writing, but my hope is that I can bring about some kind of middle ground where she's not despised and it actually appears that I know what I'm doing. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts, this story doesn't get a ton of interaction between the audience and me and I sometimes worry that it means it's terrible and people aren't reading it but I'm adoring the characters and the things we're seeing and doing and I'm glad that someone has enough vested interest to share their thoughts on the story.

[TheUnknownAuthor]

Chapter Seven

Rochelle

 

After Petra and Zelda were put down for the night, I led Deandra to our room and we lay on the bed together facing one another and holding hands.

 

“I’m sorry.” I told her, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “I shouldn’t have left you here with her, and I shouldn’t have tried to force you to do something because it was what I thought was right,” I told her, “that’s exactly the kind of thing I was mad at Petra for doing.” I added.

 

She nodded and squeezed my hand. “I forgive you.” she said softly. “I’m just glad you came back.” she added, smiling a little as our eyes met.

 

I sidled closer to her and put my arm around her waist, my hand resting on the exposed bit of pull up between the top of her pants and the bottom of her shirt, and pulled her in close to me. “I missed you.” I told her, kissing her lips softly.

 

She melted in my arms, her hands going to my cheeks to hold my face to hers to keep our kiss going for as long as possible. “I missed you more.” she said once our lips parted.

 

I shook my head. “Not possible, I’m sorry.” I told her.

 

She nestled into me, scooting down so her head was beneath my chin, her arm over my waist and her other hand lifting my shirt to expose my belly button so she could lightly stroke my stomach, a weird thing she liked to do for some reason. I recognized the regressive behavior immediately and started rocking our bodies lightly. “Do you need to go to bed, honey?” I asked her.

 

She shook her head and sighed softly. “We need to talk and I’m afraid to.” she said quietly.

 

“Afraid of me?” I asked.

 

She shook her head vehemently. “Never.” she said, “I’m afraid that we’ll argue and all I want is to be happy and lovey.” she explained.

 

I nodded and kissed the top of her head. “How about you say what you’re thinking and I’ll listen and I’ll tell you what I’m thinking tomorrow, that way you can get what you need off your chest and we can be happy and lovey tonight?” I offered.

 

She nodded and rested her head on my chest. “I really want to be with you, like as a couple,” she started, her light brushes on my stomach stopping as she concentrated all her attention on what she wanted to say, “but I’m scared that you want something I can’t give you.” she explained. “You want a normal relationship and I’ve never had that and I’m kind of a fuck up in general and-” she sighed, “I want to give you what you want, but I need your help and patience to do it.” she said after a long pause.

 

I rubbed her back in little circles and kissed the top of her head again before I rolled her away and propped myself up onto my elbow, smiling at her as I copied her stomach brushing on her, moving in to lightly kiss the window of exposed tummy that had presented itself in the move, smiling when I heard her breathing tremble softly. I sat up fully and went to the button of her jeans.

 

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” she asked, shifting to the side to pull her button from my fingers.

 

I shook my head and smiled at her, “Tomorrow.” I reminded her, reaching to grab her button once more. “Tonight is happy and lovey, remember?” I added as I unbuttoned her jeans and scooted down to her feet to start tugging them off of her.

 

“Rochelle, I-” she started to say.

 

“Sweetie.” I gently interrupted, “These pants aren’t going to come off unless you help.” I said. “Lift your bottom for me.” I lightly commanded, smiling as she wordlessly complied and I tugged the jeans from her, leaving just her pull up on display.

 

“I can change real quick.” she meekly offered.

 

I casually dropped her pants off the end of the bed and knelt between her calves, spreading her legs gently to make room for myself. I kissed her knees and then went up to her thighs and came to rest on the brightly colored butterflies adorning the front of her pull up. “Are you wet, Deandra?” I asked her coyly, obviously able to smell and see that she was.

 

She nodded softly, “I’m sorry.” she said glumly.

 

“Did you have an accident or did you wet yourself on purpose?” I asked her, gently prodding the damp padding and the sensitive flesh beneath.

 

She hesitated and looked nervous, “On purpose.” she finally said. “But we were-” she started to say.

 

“I know, honey.” I reassured her, knowing that she couldn’t have simply left the meeting we were having about Petra to go use the bathroom. I reached up and grabbed the waistband of her pull up and tugged it down, her bottom reflexively lifting to allow me to slide it out from under her and down her legs where I unceremoniously dropped it onto her pants on the floor. “So wet.” I teased as I brought my face to her crotch and looked up at her, “Should I get you cleaned up with a baby wipe or should we do this the fun way?” I asked her playfully.

 

She giggled softly and chewed her bottom lip. “Fun.” she said softly.

 

*********

 

Nearly two hours later she lay cuddled against me beneath the blanket snoring softly in my arms as I rocked us gently, our diapers crinkling softly with each movement of my body. I sighed softly and kissed her forehead, smiling as she stirred and I helped her thumb into her mouth to quiet her.

 

Deandra wore many hats for me, and I was trying to figure out a way to balance it all so we could both be happy with our relationship. On the one hand, the more interaction we had where she was submissive to me was giving me the feeling that I’m sure Petra must feel, a rush of endorphins that scratches that itch that being on the receiving end of the Big/little dynamic doesn’t, I wanted more of her submission to me, craved the feeling it gave. On the other hand, that kind of relationship is a little lopsided when you’re also looking to be submissive and cared for, and Deandra just didn’t seem to have any dominance in her body.

 

I felt guilty for not being honest with her about where I’d been living since I’d moved out, feeling like building our relationship on a lie was dooming it before it even developed into what we wanted it to be, but how do you tell the person you have romantic feelings for that you’d chosen to live in your car outside your dead former Mommy’s house rather than stay and fight for her and for the relationship you wanted? How do you tell her that for all your self righteous anger and fury, you ended up crying yourself to sleep every night because of how lonely and pathetic you felt? How do you help her commit to putting diapers aside for a “normal” relationship when you yourself had to throw out bags of wet and messy diapers because you kind of gave up on everything while you were homeless?

 

Athena was committing to helping Petra, and I needed to commit to helping Deandra, simple as that. She’d endured Petra’s abuse most of her life and it had fundamentally rewired her brain and it wasn’t fair of me to expect her to suddenly upend everything she’d come to see as “normal” for her own life because I thought we needed to be something specific to have a successful relationship.

 

“I love you, Deandra.” I whispered to her.

 

She murmured something indecipherable, dreamily and around her thumb and her diaper warmed against my thigh.

 

I closed my eyes and wet my diaper along with her and sighed contentedly as I settled in to join her in sleep.

 

*********

 

“Good morning.” she said with a wide smile as my eyes opened to the light fighting to break in through our curtains.

 

She was perched on her elbow looking at me and I leaned my head back to return her smile. “Watching me sleep?” I asked her.

 

She giggled and nodded. “Did you know that you have the absolute sweetest little snore?” she asked.

 

I scoffed. “Do I?” I asked her.

 

She nodded again, “It’s like the sound a baby makes but somehow cuter.” she fawned, leaning in to kiss me as she snuggled back down to cuddle me.

 

I craned my neck to look at the clock on the nightstand, “I have a class in a few hours.” I told her.

 

She playfully whimpered, “Can’t you skip it and stay here with me all day?” she asked with a pout in her voice.

 

I hugged her tightly, “I’d love nothing more, but it’s only the fourth class and I’m trying to make a good impression.” I said. “But, after that I’m free all day.” I offered.

 

She sighed heavily, “I suppose I can survive a few hours without you.” she said, pretending to be devastated but making the best of it.

 

I kissed her forehead. “So, I was thinking about what you said last night.” I said.

 

She tensed in my arms, “And?” she asked.

 

I slipped out of her arms and pushed the blankets off of me to climb off the bed and stretch, my diaper hanging low on my hips, her eyes on my nakedness. “Petra needs structure and discipline and someone looking out for her to help her be a grownup, right?” I asked as I ripped the tapes of my diaper and balled it up to go to the diaper pail in the closet to dispose of it.

 

She nodded, her eyes following me as I breezed past the end of the bed.

 

“So, maybe that’s what you need too.” I offered. “Maybe you need me to, I dunno, potty train you or something so that you feel comfortable going without diapers.” I said, shrugging when I mentioned potty training as I grabbed a wet wipe and cleaned myself just outside the closet.

 

“I know how to use the potty, Rochelle.” she reminded me.

 

I threw the wipe in the diaper pail and went to her on the bed, kneeling beside it and taking her hand in mine. “I know, but if you had the choice to wear panties or diapers, you’d choose a diaper almost if not every time, right?” I asked.

 

She looked down and reluctantly nodded.

 

I lifted her chin and smiled. “It’s okay.” I told her, smiling reassuringly, “You’ve spent most of your life being babied and letting someone else dictate your abilities and maturity, right?” I asked.

 

She nodded again.

 

“Maybe instead of trying to change that, I need to use that as a way to help you.” I said. “Instead of babying you and you letting me because I’m in charge, I teach you and encourage you, like you would with a toddler, to wean you off of diapers and get you back into not just being able to wear panties, but wanting to as well.” I explained.

 

“That doesn’t sound like a “normal” relationship.” she said. “That sounds like Petra but in reverse.” she added.

 

I nodded. “That’s why it’ll work.” I told her. “You’ve been Petra’s baby and plaything for so long that that’s basically all you know of adult relationships, right?” I asked.

 

She meekly nodded.

 

“Well, if you agree to let me help you, we can work on teaching you what a healthy adult relationship can and should be.” I told her.

 

“By treating me like a potty training toddler?” she asked incredulously.

 

I reached up and stroked her cheek, “It was the best analogy I could think of.” I told her. “Imagine we’re out somewhere and you need to pee,” I said, “you tell me and we get you to the bathroom and you use it successfully,” I told her, continuing to stroke her cheek affectionately, “when you’re done, you get a little special attention from me as a reward for being my grownup girlfriend.” I said with a smile.

 

She tried not to smile but failed. “I do like the sound of that.” she admitted. “But what if I don’t make it?” she asked.

 

“Then I shower you with love and encouragement to help you do better in the future.” I said.

 

“No punishment?” she asked.

 

I shook my head. “Unless you want one, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I told her.

 

She looked into my eyes, searching them for something and finally nodded. “Okay, we can try it.” she said.

 

I smiled brightly and got up to kneel on the bed and hug her, “It’s going to be good, I promise.” I told her, kissing the top of her head. “We can start after I get back from class if you want.” I told her, going to the hook by the door to grab my robe and slip into it and close it to go take a shower.

 

She nodded and smiled at me.

 

“I want you to change out of your diaper and at least put a pull up on while I’m gone though.” I told her.

 

She pushed the blankets off herself and got up from the bed, leaving me eyeing her nakedness and low hanging diaper. “On second thought,” I said, “I should be home by two, I want you naked and waiting for me on the bed.” I playfully commanded.

 

She looked at me over her shoulder, “Why, Rochelle, do you intend to ravage me this afternoon?” she asked, batting her eyelashes innocently.

 

I crossed the room to her and firmly grabbed her butt, pushing her into me for a deep kiss as I fondled the sodden seat of her diaper, “Only a lot.” I told her with a wink as I headed back to the door.

 

*********

 

There was something else I hadn’t shared the full truth of with her, the fact that I’d made a friend in my life drawing class. It wasn’t that I was afraid she’d be jealous, it was just that, as far as friends go, Kaia was the type that might instill feelings of jealousy in someone that’s not very assertive and that struggles with feeling valued.

 

Kaia was tall and slender, nearly as tall as Zack, and she was athletic and toned in a way that made me feel woefully pudgy and out of shape in comparison. Her skin was dark and flawless, like one of those really expensive candy bars made with the highest percentage of cacao, her hair was braided into something that made me jealous and guilty for being so lazy with my own hair care, the colorful beads adorning the tightly woven threads made her look fun and approachable despite her stunning beauty.

 

On the day of our first class she’d approached me, the only other woman of color in the class, and made a joke about how pale everyone looked that had made me giggle, something I felt instantly self conscious about given the knowledge that this was a college class full of adults and not finger painting time with Ducky in the nursery.

 

We’d made polite conversation before the class and more of the same afterward, and I found myself hanging on her every word and wishing I had more to tell her about myself beyond vague half truths and outright lies. She was a few years older than me, another subconscious enticement, and as much as I tried to feel comfortable talking with her, there was a deep sense of inadequacy in the back of my mind, a knowledge that this woman didn’t know that I, at that time, was going to leave the class and drive home to get into a diaper and go to sleep outside my dead Mommy’s house while she went home to be an independent adult.

 

“You’re glowing.” she said when she sat down on the stool beside me.

 

“Am not!” I argued a little too strongly.

 

She laughed at my tone, her laugh delicate and calming, the kind of laugh that encourages you to take another sip of your drink and wonder what her lips taste like. “And feeling defensive about it means,” she paused, looking me up and down for a moment, “old girlfriend?” she asked.

 

I looked away and awkwardly arranged my supplies. “New old.” I said. “We were on a little break.” I told her.

 

“So, you’re not on a break anymore?” she asked.

 

I thought of Deandra waiting for me on the bed when I got home and smiled, “No, not anymore.” I told her.

 

“Damn, I was gonna ask you out after class.” she said, her tone playful but clearly masking real disappointment.

 

I stared at her in disbelief and she caught me doing so and copied my stare, making us both laugh.

 

“Don’t look so shocked, Ro, you’re mad cute.” she told me.

 

I suddenly felt insecure. “Cute, huh?” I asked.

 

“Something wrong with ‘cute’?” she asked.

 

I shrugged. “Cute is fine, for puppies and kittens.” I said.

 

She looked around at the other people in the room and leaned toward me, “Or little girls.” she whispered.

 

I was again struck with shock and felt like I needed to turn and leap out the window behind me to escape dying of embarrassment, swallowing hard, “Is that a short joke?” I asked, trying to play ignorant to the implication I’d been genetically programmed to see but could be misreading.

 

“If that makes you happy, sure.” she said with a non committal shrug.

 

Now my mind was racing, “What else could it be besides that?” I asked, my heart racing.

 

She looked at me, studying me for a moment, “I don’t think your girlfriend would approve of me discussing such things with you.” she said simply, ending the conversation with a coy and infuriatingly sweet smile as the instructor began starting the class.

 

I tuned out the instructor as I looked at Kaia and felt my cheeks warming, making me focus absently on the supplies before me once again as I began dragging Deandra back to the front of my mind to push Kaia out of it, hating the guilt I was feeling for the feeling I was having.

 

To Be Continued…

[TheUnknownAuthor]

Chapter Eight

Illiana

 

After the house meeting, Rochelle and Ducky had retired to their room to reconcile, and I sat alone in the living room for a little while smiling at how sweet the two of them were together before I got up and headed to our new bedroom, the clean sheets I’d put on the bed that afternoon looking very inviting as I began to strip out of my clothes to wait for Athena in the bed. “They go down okay?” I asked her when she finally entered the room and closed the door behind her.

 

She nodded and slipped her heels off. “I think the hardest part of all of this is going to be keeping her from regressing.” she said as she came to my side of the bed and turned for me to unzip her dress for her.

 

“She’s a very fluid girl.” I said. “One minute she’s ruling the house with an iron fist and the next-” I started to say.

 

“She’s asking Mommy for a “binky” for bedtime.” she interrupted, sighing softly as she slipped out of her dress and went to hang it up in the closet.

 

I rolled my eyes, “She needs a spanking.” I said.

 

“And she’ll probably earn one.” she told me, “But, I don’t teach through pain fear, I teach through patience and understanding.” she explained.

 

“Which works for kids, but Petra-” I started to argue.

 

“Is nothing more than a child in an adult body.” she insisted, “She’s agreed to everything I’ve proposed and accepted my terms and I won’t turn around and start punishing her for no reason because of her past behavior.” she reminded as she unhooked her bra and shimmied out of her panties to come join me in the bed.

 

I felt my cheeks flush as she climbed in beneath the covers and checked to make sure I was wearing my overnight diaper, kissing my cheek softly as she smiled warmly at me.

 

“Good girl.” she praised.

 

I cleared my throat, “I wanted to talk to you about something before bed.” I said.

 

“Oh?” she asked, leaning over to get her lotion from the nightstand and begin applying it to her hands and elbows.

 

“With Petra out of the picture, Zelda doesn’t have anyone to take care of her,” I hesitated, “urges.” I finally said, feeling extremely awkward about the words I was saying. “I wanted your permission to help her with that.” I added.

 

Her eyes narrowed, “You want me to give you permission to have sex with Zelda?” she asked.

 

I shook my head vigorously, “No!” I exclaimed, “I want your permission to be allowed to give her release the way Petra does.” I corrected.

 

She raised an eyebrow, “And how does Petra do that?” she asked, moving to lotion her legs and feet.

 

I was blushing again, “She,” I paused, “stimulates her bottom.” I told her, finally finding the words that brought the least redness to my cheeks.

 

She smirked, “So, you want permission to play with Zelda’s butt so she can cum?” she asked.

 

“Well, when you say it that way!” I whined.

 

She smiled and kissed my cheek, “I’ll approve it, on a few conditions.” she said, setting the lotion back on the nightstand and pulling the blankets over herself and me into her embrace. “First, she isn’t allowed to touch you.” she said.

 

“I wouldn’t let her.” I reminded.

 

She nodded, “Second, her diaper stays on except to access her bottom.” she said.

 

I nodded my agreement.

 

“And finally, if I notice anything I don’t like about it, not only will it never happen again, but your time together will only ever be supervised by me after that.” she warned.

 

I looked up at her, “Do you really think I’d do anything with her to risk losing you or your trust?” I asked.

 

She shook her head, “No, but as the Mommy here, it’s my responsibility to lay down the rules and make sure you know the consequences of breaking them.” she explained. “I trust you implicitly, sweetie.” she said, kissing my forehead before she reached over and shut off her light.

 

I nestled into the crook of her arm and draped my arm over her bare stomach, “I love you, Mommy.” I said, kissing her breast softly.

 

She squeezed me gently with her arm, “I love you too, you dirty little pervert.” she teased, making both of us laugh in the darkness of our new room in our new home.

 

*********

 

I’d painstakingly crafted the chart in the kitchen for Petra’s chores, a whiteboard with a hand drawn grid of the days and corresponding duties, filling in what Athena had supplied for me as Petra’s responsibilities. In addition to the chore chart in the kitchen, I’d also designed a board for who was home or out to keep track of who would be available on what days should Petra need a ride somewhere, today I was home with Deandra and Zelda while Rochelle was in class and Petra and Athena were at their respective jobs.

 

The morning began with Athena getting up for work and gently rousing me with soft kisses on my bare shoulder and I got up to make her coffee and breakfast while she went to wake Petra. As her English muffins toasted and the coffee brewed, I stood in the kitchen and smiled to myself, I felt so domestic, making breakfast for my girlfriend, a day of looking after a little one in store, I was barefoot but I’d substituted pregnant with diapered, my overnight garment hanging low beneath the bottom of my over sized shirt. I worried for a brief moment that Athena would disapprove of my attire in front of Petra, chastising me for not changing into my underwear and lounging around bottomless when she needed everyone to set a good example for Petra on grownup behavior.

 

“God, I love that you make me coffee and breakfast in the morning.” Athena gratefully exclaimed as she clopped into the kitchen, her heels announcing her arrival well in advance to allow me to exit my mental preoccupation and present her her coffee as I kissed her cheek, flushing when she smacked my bottom playfully but sharply, “I don’t love that you didn’t at least put on some pants though.” she teased with a playful smile on her lips.

 

I shrugged, “Once you’re gone I’ll have a shower and it’ll be like it never happened.” I told her as I went to finish the fresh out of the toaster English muffins.

 

Petra made her way down the hall looking the most adult I’d seen her since her date with Zack, which seemed like a million years ago. She’d done her makeup and dressed in a sensible skirt and blouse, her hair in a very professional looking bun.

 

“Good morning, Illiana.” she said politely as she took a spot beside Athena.

 

I smiled at her, taking note of the effort she’d made to present herself as a grownup. “Good morning, Petra.” I replied before setting about getting Petra’s English muffin together for her. “Butter or jam?” I asked her.

 

“A little butter.” Athena answered for her. “We don’t want you getting messy before work, do we, Petra?” she asked the blushing girl beside her.

 

Petra shook her head, “No, Mommy.” she quietly agreed.

 

I got their lunches from the fridge and handed them to each of them followed by their English muffins and accepted my goodbye kiss from Athena.

 

“Give Illiana a goodbye hug and kiss and thank her for making your breakfast and lunch.” Athena urged Petra.

 

Petra walked up and hugged me and I stooped a little for her to kiss my cheek, hugging her back and kissing her cheek afterward. “Thank you for making my breakfast and lunch, Illiana.” she dutifully said.

 

“You’re welcome, sweetie, be good and work hard, okay?” I said, patting her head softly just before Athena came and took her hand to lead her to the front door.

 

“Don’t forget to put Zelda down for her nap today, we’ll be home tonight.” Athena said while Petra opened the front door. “I love you, baby.” she added, patting my droopy bottom one more time.

 

“Love you too, Mommy.” I chirped, beaming happily as they slipped out the front door, making my way to the front window to watch Athena open the back passenger door of her car and let Petra in before she bent down and buckled the girl in her seat and closed the door behind her to get in behind the wheel.

 

*********

 

I took a quick shower once they left and dressed in some khaki shorts and a t-shirt before I headed to the kitchen to get Zelda’s morning bottle warmed up before making my way back to the nursery where Zelda was kneeling in the crib patiently waiting for her breakfast.

 

“Good morning, Zelly!” I cooed, passing the bottle through the bars to her and watching her topple backward to lay down and drink before I lowered the crib side and climbed in to put her head in my lap and hold the bottle for her.

 

Looking down at the man I once threw myself at and was thoroughly punished by for doing so nursing a bottle of his wife’s breast milk in a cute little lavender babydoll nightie, his absolutely precious, girly diapers completely on display, I found myself pushing the image of that man completely out of my mind.

 

“How about instead of boring old work, you and I have a girl’s day out?” I asked her.

 

Her eyes opened wide and excited and she nodded eagerly.

 

I smiled down at her and nodded. “We’re going to have a great day together!” I chirped.

 

Once her bottle was empty I got her to burp and helped her out of the crib and up to the changing table and left her naked as I went to the closet. “Would you like to try a big girl day out?” I asked, pushing the frilliest and most infantile garments out of the way.

 

“Like, be a woman?” she asked uncertainly.

 

I looked over my shoulder at her and nodded. “I mean, you can be a baby if you want to, but I thought maybe if we were out and saw some boys you’d have better luck with them if you were dressed a little more maturely.” I explained.

 

Her cheeks went beet red. “I’m not gay, Illiana.” she said, breaking character and letting Zack back into her voice.

 

I waved my hand dismissively. “Didn’t say you were, honey.” I said, “I just know that trying new things can lead to trying more new things and I thought maybe you’d be curious about whether men would find you attractive.” I explained.

 

“Well, I’m not.” she said firmly.

 

I left the closet and went back to her with a sympathetic smile. “Hey,” I said softly, “everything is different here now, we’re working on building a happy home for everyone, and that means being honest about our feelings and dealing with them, right?” I asked.

 

She begrudgingly nodded. “But I’m not gay.” she repeated.

 

I sighed. “You’re saying it like there’s something wrong with being gay or even being perceived as gay, and you and I both know you’re better than that.” I gently admonished. “Look, you’ve had orgasms from having something in your butt, right?” I asked.

 

She flushed and sheepishly nodded, her penis stiffening.

 

“So, there’s at least some part of you that likes that kind of attention, right?” I asked.

 

Another nod as she chewed her bottom lip and moved to cover her rising hardness.

 

I lightly smacked her hand away. “So, what’s the difference between having a woman stick something in your butt to make you cum and having a man do it with his dick, maybe while he holds you in his strong arms?” I asked, taking note of the twitch of her penis.

 

“It’s different.” she said lamely.

 

I reached under the table and got out her toy and held it up so she could see it. “Sweetie, this is a fake dick, plain and simple, all I’m asking is if you’d like to try the real thing.” I explained.

 

“Please stop.” she said softly.

 

I set the toy down beside her. “Petra told Athena that you and her talked about bringing a man into the house for her to fuck.” I said. “She was very excited about it because she loves cocks almost as much as she loves pussy.” I added.

 

“Shut up!” she snarled.

 

I stared at her in disbelief for a moment and quickly collected myself. “I know that the truth hurts to hear sometimes, but it feels good to tell the truth too.” I said. “Tell me the truth, are you afraid you’ll like being with a man?” I asked.

 

She was silent, looking away from me.

 

“Are you afraid that if you meet a man that makes you feel good sexually that you’ll somehow never be able to be Zack again?” I asked.

 

She looked at me and I could see the tears welling up in her eyes.

 

“Are you afraid of being Zelda forever?” I asked.

 

She sniffled and let out a choked sob. “I don’t know what I want.” she admitted.

 

I took her hands in mine and pulled her up into a seated position and hugged her. “Sweetie, nothing has to be permanent, you can be Zelda one day and Zack the next or any combination that feels right for you.” I told her, pulling her away and wiping her tears before I kissed her forehead, “You’re loved whether you’re big or little or a boy or a girl or a baby or a Daddy, okay?” I asked.

 

She nodded softly and sniffled again. “Everything feels like a huge decision that I have to make on the spot and I can’t do it because I have all these variables running through my head about it all.” she said softly.

 

I nodded and stroked her hair, “Stop listening to your head and listen to your heart, sweetie.” I told her.

 

She clung to me and slowly stopped crying, pulling away and wiping her eyes, “Can I just be baby Zelda at home with you today?” she asked.

 

I nodded softly and gently pushed her back down onto the changing table, “Absolutely, honey.” I said. “Do you want to play with your toy before we get you into a clean diaper?” I asked.

 

She blushed and nodded softly.

 

I knew I was breaking Athena’s rule by not having her diaper on her first, but Zelda certainly wasn’t going to tell her what happened, so I lubed up the toy and did the same with her little hole and gently inserted it into her, smiling as she put her thumb into her mouth and closed her eyes.

 

“Do you like to be talked to during?” I asked.

 

She nodded softly, her cheeks growing slightly redder.

 

“Naughty grown up talk or baby talk?” I asked.

 

“Gwown up, pwease.” she mumbled.

 

I smirked and gently worked the toy in and out of her, “Are you a naughty girl, Zelda?” I asked.

 

She nodded vehemently.

 

I chewed my bottom lip and took a deep breath, “Do you like it when Daddy fucks your cute little bottom?” I asked, gambling on using the ‘D’ word with her.

 

Her eyes remained closed and her thumb continued working in her mouth as she nodded eagerly, her penis stiffening greatly as it curved toward her exposed tummy.

 

“Do you want to make a sticky mess for Daddy?” I asked seductively, my voice a husky whisper of arousal that surprised even me.

 

She whimpered and nodded again, her penis twitching and glistening with precum.

 

“If Daddy gives you permission to cum do you promise to eat it all up like a good girl?” I asked, my plans for what to say going completely out the window as I randomly said words I thought she might like to hear.

 

Another whimper and an eager nod as her penis twitched once more.

 

“Cum for Daddy, baby.” I urged.

 

She obeyed, spraying her exposed chest and tummy with her own seed, a little actually reaching her chin as she squirmed and writhed and moaned on the table until I pulled the toy from her backside and leaned in to kiss her shrinking penis. “Good girl.” I praised.

 

Her eyes opened slowly, post coital bliss keeping them slits rather than fully open and she began to run her finger through the shimmering streaks and pools on her stomach and chest and brought the finger to her lips to lick and suck it clean, repeating the process until she’d mostly entirely cleaned herself off.

 

I finished the job with a wet wipe before cleaning and lotioning and powdering her now dormant penis and balls and taped her pretty little diaper up snugly. “What would you like to wear today, princess?” I asked her.

 

She sat up suddenly and wrapped her legs around my waist and hugged me tightly with her arms and kissed me deeply and passionately on the lips without any kind of warning, the suddenness and not unpleasant feeling of it leaving me dumbstruck for a moment until a long dormant part of me that held an ember of the torch I’d had for Zack kissed back.

 

I’d willingly disobeyed Athena’s rule about playing with Zelda, mentally scoffing at the ridiculous implication that anything would happen between us, and now, only a few hours later, here I was passionately kissing her and putting up zero fight as we somehow moved together to the crib and she stopped kissing me long enough to strip my shorts and panties from me and resume kissing my Southern most lips, her tongue finding my clit and going to work satisfying me in a way I was completely unprepared for.

 

If I’d been able to think anything more coherent than, “Oh.” or “Fuck.” or “God.” or any combination or variation of those, I would’ve been thinking “I might actually be the worst adult babysitter in the entire world.” quickly followed by “Or best, adult babies are a tricky thing to figure out.”

 

What I knew with absolute certainty though, even as I exploded in a barely stifled by a pillow over my face moan of orgasmic bliss, was that Athena could absolutely never know about this under any circumstances.

 

To Be Continued...

[TheUnknownAuthor]

Chapter Nine

Zelda

 

Illiana’s moans and cries of passion died down once she came and I slowed my lapping speed until I was gently cleaning the mess she’d made with kitten like lightness. I looked up at her over her stomach and felt a stirring inside my diaper as I saw her erect nipples straining against her thin shirt. Wiping her juices from my face, I crawled forward and lay beside her, gently draping my arm over her middle, feeling the rise and fall of her stomach as she tried to catch her breath. I thought about kissing her again, wanting to kiss her to prolong the physical intimacy for as long as possible but also because she was exceedingly nice to kiss.

 

“This never happened.” she panted, looking at me briefly from the corner of her eye before she sighed contentedly and closed them once more.

 

I started wetting my diaper as the gears in my head started turning. “You don’t want Athena to find out about this then?” I probed.

 

She shook her head. “She told me the rules and I promised her nothing would happen,” she scoffed, “shit, I never thought anything would happen.” she said incredulously.

 

I nodded softly, “So, I should keep this a secret then?” I asked her.

 

She nodded her agreement but didn’t say anything.

 

I cleared my throat, “What do I get for keeping your secret?” I asked, my heartbeat quickening as I stepped off the edge into uncharted territory.

 

Her eyes opened and she turned her head to stare at me in disbelief, “Are you blackmailing me?” she asked in surprise.

 

I shook my head, “No, but I am making sure that if you’re happy and Athena is happy that I’m happy too.” I said innocently.

 

She stared for a bit longer, “I thought you were happy.” she said.

 

I shrugged nonchalantly, “I could be happier.” I told her.

 

Her face softened and she sighed contentedly once more and closed her eyes, “What do you want?” she asked.

 

I swallowed hard, “I want you to help me make a dating profile on the site you met Athena on.” I told her.

 

Again, her eyes went wide and again she was staring in disbelief, “You’re married!” she reminded me.

 

I nodded, “To a beautiful woman that I love very much.” I agreed, “But…” I trailed off, feeling extremely nervous about what I needed to say and struggling to form the words, “you were right.” I finally squeaked out.

 

Her eyebrow raised, “About?” she asked.

 

I closed my eyes and chewed my bottom lip, “I’m curious about being with a man.” I blurted out as quickly as possible as though the words were fire in my mouth.

 

She smiled and rolled onto her side to face me, her warm hand caressing my cheek softly for a moment before she sweetly kissed my lips. “I know that was hard to admit, but I’m very proud of you for saying it.” she said. “But, I’m not proud of you blackmailing me.” she added sternly.

 

I nodded softly, “I’m sorry, I promise I won’t tell anyone anything about what happened.” I apologized, slipping effortlessly back into my role as the submissive baby girl of the house.

 

She nodded softly, “Thank you.” she said warmly, looking like she wanted to kiss me once more but stopping herself and shaking her head before chuckling softly, “Sorry, I get really affectionate and kinda clingy after sex.” she said before rolling away and sliding off the edge of the crib, stretching with her back to me and giving me a nice view of her bare butt before she turned and picked up her shorts and panties and dressed herself. “So, what kind of profile are we making?” she asked while as she shimmied into her clothes.

 

I shrugged, “What do you think?” I asked, “I’ve never done something like this before.” I admitted.

 

She smiled at me and buttoned her shorts, “Well, I assume you’re looking for someone that would be interested in a baby girl,” she said, “unless you just want a grownup relationship.” she offered.

 

I shook my head softly and blushed, “I think someone that likes diapers and baby stuff would be best.” I said.

 

She nodded and reached her hands out for me to take and pulled me to the end of the crib, smiling as she looked down at the front of my diaper, “You’re just a little fountain, aren’t you?” she teased, gently pressing her fingers to the still warm plastic. She helped me out and kissed my cheek before she hugged me, “Why don’t we get you dressed and then we can talk about your profile.” she said, going back to the closet for something for me to wear.

 

*********

 

Illiana sat on the couch with me laying beside her, my head on her thigh as she worked on her laptop, periodically reaching over to stroke my head while I quietly sucked my pacifier. I looked down at the dress she’d put me in and felt very cute, the little circles of baby blue and pink and yellow on the white cotton reminded me of the Wonder Bread package in the best possible way, bringing back memories of my mother making me PB&J with the crusts cut off when I was her baby girl.

 

“Would you like to hear what I’ve got so far?” she asked, looking down at me.

 

I nodded softly and sucked harder on my pacifier.

 

She put her hand on my arm and lightly stroked my shoulder with her thumb, “My name is Zelda and I am a thirty four year old, married man that is exploring the baby girl within. I enjoy wearing and using diapers, dressing up in cute and or pretty outfits, and playing. I’m looking for a man that will nurture the baby girl inside me as well as exploring a sexual relationship. I’ve never been intimate with a man before, so we would need to take things slowly, so patience is key when it comes to interested parties. As I said, I am happily married and not looking to change that, so any dates or encounters would need to be discreet and somewhere that isn’t my home. I’m very excited to meet someone!” she read.

 

My stomach fluttered as she read and I found myself smiling behind my pacifier when she finished, looking up at her as she looked down at me, “I like it.” I said happily. “Thank you.” I added.

 

She smiled and nodded, “Of course, sweetheart!” she chirped. “This is the picture I used.” she said, lifting her laptop up and tilting it above me to show me the picture.

 

The picture was of me in the lavender dress on the night of my “birthday party”, I was smiling behind my pacifier at the camera, my diapers peeking out beneath the dress as I sat with my legs splayed in front of me in a very unladylike pose, but I looked adorable and was sure that if anyone were going to be interested in me, that photo would be the thing that did it.

 

“Look good?” she asked me, smiling at me again.

 

I nodded excitedly. “What happens now?” I asked.

 

She returned the computer to her other side and clicked a few times before closing her laptop and setting it aside on the side table, “Now, you wait for messages!” she cooed, lifting my head and turning herself so I was resting my head between her legs. “There are rules for this, honey.” she warned.

 

“What kinda rules?” I asked.

 

“First, you’re not meeting anyone without me knowing about it and approving them.” she said as she began to lightly scrape my scalp with her fingernails, making me melt where I lay. “Second, no sex on the first date.” she said.

 

I blushed but nodded.

 

“And finally, and this is the most important one, this is our secret and even if you meet a man that you fall in love with and want to spend the rest of your life with, you will tell me and only me about it and we will tell Athena and Petra about all of this together if we need to.” she said.

 

I nodded again, “Yes, ma’am.” I agreed. “Do you really think I could fall in love with someone?” I asked.

 

She smiled down at me and shrugged, “I don’t know, angel, but we need to be open to that possibility, right?” she asked.

 

I shrugged softly, “I guess so?” I said quizzically.

 

“For right now, you just relax and be my cute and sweet little Zelly baby.” she said, sliding her hands down the length of my body to lift the hem of my dress upward to expose my diaper. “It’s almost time for your nap, and someone didn’t make her morning poopy.” she warned.

 

I nodded obediently and closed my eyes as I pushed down on my bowels and began to fill my diaper at her implied request, opening my eyes to see her smiling widely down at me and making my cheeks flush once more.

 

“Good girl.” she praised as she lightly rubbed my exposed tummy before giving it a little tickle that made me giggle and squirm. “God, if I was a guy, I’d absolutely snatch you up.” she mused, leaning down, “Then again, with how good your little mouth is, I’m having trouble not wanting to do that as a woman.” she whispered before suppressing a giggle as she blushed.

 

*********

 

My dreams during my nap were kind of all over the place, I was at my D&D game night with my guy friends but then Alan was scooting back his chair and patting his lap and I wasn’t Zack anymore, I was Zelda, but not the Zelda that existed now, the Zelda of the future, her hair grown out to shoulder length and done into twin pigtails on either side of her head, her bubblegum pink lipstick and other face makeup giving her the look of a woman until she stood up, bulky diapers rustling beneath her pretty pink, frill adorned dress and toddled over to Alan to park herself on his lap.

 

Alan was a tall, skinny guy around my age. He was clean shaven and as he watched me waddle over to him, the lenses of his horn rimmed glasses reflected the light making his eyes invisible beneath the glow. He smiled broadly as I took my place on his lap, facing the rest of the men gathered around the table. I felt his dick beneath me, even through my diaper and his pants, pressing against my butt, feeling harder with each passing second.

 

He wrapped his arms around my waist and nestled his face between my shoulder and jaw and lightly kissed my neck, making me shudder with pleasure as his hand went beneath my dress and began to rub my achingly stiff cock.

 

The room faded away and we were no longer at the table, but laying together in bed, him behind me and me as his little spoon, his strong arms wrapped around my middle as he teased the head of his cock against the crack of my butt.

 

“Does Zelly need Daddy’s toy?” he whispered into my ear.

 

I nodded eagerly and wiggled my bottom against his hardness, gasping and moaning softly as he entered me and kissed my shoulder, his gentleness and strong embrace making me feel every bit the baby girl I felt like.

 

Things shifted again and Robert, another of my D&D friends was standing in front of where I lay on the bed, Alan still satisfying me from behind. Robert’s massive black cock was hanging in front of me, and I felt myself begin to drool as he picked it up like a giant burrito and held it to my lips.

 

“Did you have a nice nap?” Illiana asked as she lowered the side of the crib and handed me a bottle of apple juice to drink.

 

My face felt flushed and I nodded softly as I nursed the offered bottle.

 

“Are you okay?” she asked, pressing the back of her hand to my forehead, “You’re so warm.” she said, her tone tinged with worry.

 

I popped the nipple of the bottle from my mouth, “I had a sex dream.” I confessed.

 

She smirked and sat down on the mattress beside me, “Must’ve been a steamy one.” she teased.

 

I sheepishly nodded.

 

“About me?” she asked.

 

I shook my head and returned the bottle to my mouth, the cool liquid a welcome relief to my dry mouth and throat.

 

“Petra?” she asked.

 

I shook my head again.

 

She smirked and giggled, “A boy?” she asked.

 

I blushed hotly and nodded.

 

“Aww!” she gushed. “Anyone I know?” she asked.

 

I shook my head and popped the nipple from my mouth again, “Some guys I played D&D with.” I confessed.

 

“God, it feels like forever since we played that.” she mused. “Wait, guys? As in multiple?” she asked.

 

I nodded.

 

She scooted closer. “Well, don’t keep me in suspense, tell me all about it, girl!” she urged.

 

I took my time and reluctantly told her the details of the dream and she sat entranced the whole time until I was done and she pulled me into a big hug. “That’s a big deal, honey.” she told me, “I didn’t have sex dreams about girls until I met Petra, and that was because we’d actually had sex when we met.” she explained. “Good for you!” she praised.

 

“It’s not weird?” I asked. “I mean, that I dreamed about having sex with two guys I’m not even remotely attracted to?” I clarified.

 

“No, it’s not weird, and I’m sorry to have to be the one to break it to you, but I think you might be a smidge attracted to them.” she said. “But who cares? It’s not like you’re planning on showing up to your D&D game as Zelda and forcing yourself on them, right?” she asked.

 

I shook my head vehemently.

 

“So no big deal.” she said. “Now, I made you a yummy lunch and I think we should watch a movie together after you eat and we can snuggle on the couch together, sound good?” she asked.

 

I nodded and hugged her again. “Thank you, Illiana.” I said softly.

 

She kissed the top of my head and rubbed my back, “Anytime, cutie, what are babysitters for?” she asked as she pulled away and stood up, fetching my dress from the closet and slipping it on over my head before she helped me up and out of the crib and led me by the hand out to the dining room.

 

*********

 

The rest of the day was spent watching a Rom Com and cuddling on the couch followed by a bath for me after another messy diaper, and then me sitting at the dining room table coloring a picture for Petra and another for Athena while Illiana made dinner.

 

By the time the car pulled into the driveway dinner was nearly done and Illiana urged me to greet Petra and Athena at the door with my pictures, so I hurried over, pictures in hand, and waited like an eager puppy for the front door to open.

 

“...in the bathroom for me, young lady.” Athena was finishing saying as she opened the door and jumped when she turned from Petra to see me standing there in my pink onesie and fuzzy pink slippers with the fake jewels adorning the top. “Well, hello, Zelda.” she said, her face changing to a smile.

 

I held up her picture to her, “I colored this for you.” I declared.

 

She took the picture and looked at it and then set her purse down to hug me tightly, “It’s lovely, sweetie, thank you!” she gushed.

 

I looked over her shoulder at Petra, her bottom lip quivering and her eyes puffy and red, her eye makeup smudged and wiggled out of Athena’s arms to go to Petra and hug her. “I colored you a picture too, Petra.” I said softly. “What happened to her?” I asked Athena.

 

Athena stood up and sighed. “Nothing you need to worry about, angel.” she said. She turned to Illiana in the kitchen, “Hi, baby.” she said wearily, “Dinner smells amazing, but we need a bit before we’ll be ready to eat.” she explained.

 

Illiana nodded, “Anything I can do to help?” she asked.

 

Athena shook her head, “Just keep everything warm and keep Zelda entertained.” she said.

 

I let Petra go, standing dumbly with the picture I’d colored for her in my hand as Athena took her by the hand and led her down the hall.

 

Illiana appeared beside me a moment later and rubbed my back, “I think maybe Petra had a rough day, honey, but Mommy will sort her out.” she told me. “Why don’t we put her picture by her place at the table so she can see it before dinner.” she offered.

 

We sat together on the couch while we waited for Athena and Petra to return, Illiana cuddling me once more as I sucked my pacifier and fretted about Petra. When they did return, Petra was dressed in her footed pajamas and nighttime diaper, still being led by the hand by Athena who had changed into a pair of sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt. Athena led Petra to the table and pulled out her chair for her and pushed it in when she’d sat down.

 

“Alright, we’re ready.” she declared, turning her attention to us.

 

Petra was smiling at the picture I’d colored for her and smiled at me as Illiana helped me into my highchair.

 

“How was work?” Illiana asked Athena.

 

Athena was pouring wine for herself and Illiana and sighed wearily, “A day of tears from pulled hair by a boy clearly crushing on a girl, lecturing two boys about why the drinking fountain isn’t a toy, and then I learn that little Petra wet her panties at work.” she explained, shooting a sharp gaze at Petra.

 

“What happened?” Illiana asked Athena rather than Petra.

 

“Tell her the story.” Athena commanded Petra as the pair brought plates of food out to the table, my plate going on the highchair tray and Petra’s going on the cloth mat in front of her.

 

“Can’t you tell her?” Petra whined.

 

Athena sighed. “Clearly I should’ve spanked you before I got you ready for bed.” she said, her annoyance palpable as she sat down and Illiana set her plate in front of her and sat down next to her with her own plate. “Tell her the story or you can go to bed without dinner.” she warned.

 

Petra pouted. “I had a really long meeting and I couldn’t leave to go to the bathroom and I accidentally peed a little when I was hurrying to the bathroom because I almost bumped into a lady coming out when I was going in.” she hurriedly explained.

 

Illiana looked to me and smiled, “Eat your dinner, baby.” she sweetly urged when she saw me looking sympathetically at Petra.

 

I did as she asked, spearing my green beans with my pink plastic baby fork and putting them into my mouth.

 

“So now, she gets to wear training panties for a week, and if there’s even a drop of pee in them she’s back to diapers for a week, isn’t that right, Petra?” Athena asked.

 

Petra sulked and chewed her dinner glumly, “Yes, Mommy.” she said quietly.

 

Athena turned her gaze to Illiana, “How was your day?” she asked in a much brighter tone than the one she’d used with Petra.

 

“Fine, Zelda took the day off because she wasn’t feeling well and we cuddled on the couch and watched a movie and she colored a picture for each of you.” Illiana explained.

 

Athena turned to me, “Are you feeling better, honey?” she asked.

 

I nodded and put one of the little cut up pieces of pork into my mouth.

 

Athena smiled and turned her attention back to Illiana, “Did she get her nap?” she asked.

 

Illiana nodded. “Right on time.” she confirmed.

 

“Well, at least there are some good girls in this house.” Athena said, glancing at Petra who blushed and quietly continued eating.

 

“It was an accident!” Petra exclaimed.

 

Athena sighed and stood up, putting her napkin down on the table, “Say goodnight to everyone, young lady.” she commanded, going around the table and pulling Petra’s chair out to snatch her by the wrist and pull her to her feet before dragging her down the hall.

 

Illiana stood and brought her chair over to the side of the highchair and sighed as she sat down and took my fork from me to start feeding me, “That girl just doesn’t know when to keep her mouth shut, does she?” she asked rhetorically.

 

“Is she gonna be okay?” I asked after swallowing my bite.

 

Illiana nodded. “Athena will punish her and make her cry, but she’s a very good and loving Mommy and she would never hurt anyone, honey.” she told me.

 

*********

 

After dinner and helping clear the table, Athena and Illiana put me into the crib with Petra, giving me a bottle of warm breast milk to nurse as they each kissed my forehead and wished me a good night before putting up the side of the crib and leaving me in the nightlight lit room with my still sniffling wife.

 

I snuggled in behind her and hugged her tightly from behind while I drank my bottle.

 

“It really was an accident.” Petra said quietly, her words muffled by the pacifier she was sucking.

 

I set the bottle aside and kissed the back of her head, “I believe you.” I told her.

 

She sighed, “I really did try to make it, and be a good girl.” she said sadly.

 

My years as a Daddy kicked back in and I gently rubbed her stomach through her fleece pajamas, “It’ll be okay.” I reassured her, “Mommy isn’t really mad at you, she’s just trying to help.” I reminded her.

 

She took my hand in hers and gently moved it from her stomach, “That’s not a good idea right now.” she said softly.

 

“Sorry.” I said sheepishly.

 

She rolled over to face me and pulled the pacifier from her mouth to kiss my lips softly, “Don’t be sorry.” she said. “It’s very sweet and I do like it when you rub my tummy, but I was so stressed all day about my accident that my tummy isn’t very happy.” she admitted.

 

“You gotta poop?” I asked.

 

She nodded softly and whimpered.

 

I sighed, “Why didn’t you go before she got you ready for bed?” I asked.

 

“I can’t poop with her standing there!” she hissed.

 

We were both quiet for a moment before she whimpered again and farted.

 

I picked up the pacifier from the mattress and gently put it into her mouth before I reached down and resumed rubbing her stomach. “Let it out, honey, you’ll feel much better if you do.” I whispered softly.

 

She sniffled and started to cry softly as the sounds of her diaper filling began to emanate from beneath her pajamas. “She’s gonna be so mad in the morning.” she whined.

 

I kissed her forehead softly and rocked her as she continued going, “Shh, it’ll be okay, Pet.” I said, the name I’d given her and used the entire time I was Daddy rolling from my mouth without thought.

 

We lay together until she was done and then she hugged me tightly, “I love you.” she said softly.

 

“I love you too.” I said, letting her go so she could roll back over and snuggle back into me, the seat of her diaper pressing against the front of mine in a strangely arousing parody of our life as it had been as Daddy and baby, now two baby girls trying to figure out who they were in their own lives, happy in the knowledge that we weren’t alone in our journey’s.

 

To Be Continued…