Partner not into fetishes but I need an outlet

[wetnappy]

Hey all! 

My partner isn’t into diapers and doesn’t want to be involved. She doesn’t mind me wearing them but just doesn’t want to see me in them 

As it’s a fetish of mine I do still need to indulge in it every so often. I am realllyyyy into the humiliation side of things but find it pretty hard to do on my own. I used to talk to people online and that would help but can’t really do that anymore 

Does anyone have any ideas or in a similar situation? 

[littleTomás]

I would recommend having a conversation about under what circumstances and within what context your partner would be ok with you playing with others at say your local BDSM club. Engaging in sexual play with others doesn't have to involve having sex, and I think it's important to make that point clear. Try explaining that if you can find a play partner that can meet your needs who both you and your partner trust, then your partner will be able to enjoy more of the "adult you" she loves. This kind of arrangement requires a lot of stellar communication among everyone who is involved and a large amount of trust. Speaking from a bad experience I had with an attempt at an open relationship, there are many ways that these things can fail to work out. However, in the kink community I've seen many people make these kinds of agreements work beautifully.

I hope that made sense and feel free to DM me with additional questions or for clarification. This is a complex question that there's no simple answer to.

Best,

Little Tomás

[triggernum2]

3 hours ago, wetnappy said:

Hey all! 

My partner isn’t into diapers and doesn’t want to be involved. She doesn’t mind me wearing them but just doesn’t want to see me in them 

As it’s a fetish of mine I do still need to indulge in it every so often. I am realllyyyy into the humiliation side of things but find it pretty hard to do on my own. I used to talk to people online and that would help but can’t really do that anymore 

Does anyone have any ideas or in a similar situation? 

Im in a similar situation so i know exactly how you feel. Its really hard sometimes. My wife knows of my nappy fetish and used to get involved many years ago before we had kids but these days its just not her thing. Im still allowed to wear to bed which i am grateful for but its not always enough because i get no acknowledgement from her, it kind of just goes un-spoken about and probably half the time she doesn't even know im wearing.  Its resulted in me doing some silly things at times like being out late drinking with friends and other daft things when really i would swap all of the silliness in my life just to be cuddled up to her in my nappies. I love my wife and would never choose my fetish over her but i just wish i could share more of nappy side with her. I love what i do, ive been doing it for over 25years so its never going to change. I really would like to talk to my wife about it all but im always scared of the rejection about what i like. Its hard it really is and i can sympathise with you. If you ever want to chat feel free to PM me. 

 

[oznl]

9 hours ago, wetnappy said:

Hey all! 

My partner isn’t into diapers and doesn’t want to be involved. She doesn’t mind me wearing them but just doesn’t want to see me in them 

As it’s a fetish of mine I do still need to indulge in it every so often. I am realllyyyy into the humiliation side of things but find it pretty hard to do on my own. I used to talk to people online and that would help but can’t really do that anymore 

Does anyone have any ideas or in a similar situation? 

Well it’s not all bad.  You have put your kink card on the table as it were and so upfront have avoided deception and concealment.  Kudos for doing that.  You have a platform from which you can argue your case.

I’ve some concerns around the “doesn’t want to see me in them” side insofar that tolerance should reasonably include the ability to glance underwear not aligned with her preferences free from negative reaction.  “Ignore” is ok (as depressing as it may seem).  “Suppress” is NOT ok.  As partners, I think we can reasonably insist on tolerance but not on participation.

I guess it’s about continuing open communication to arrive at a compromise you can both live with.  There’s a bucket load of anecdotal evidence to suggest that this drive is wired deep.  Ignoring or denying it rarely seems to end well and that’s something she needs to understand.

6 hours ago, triggernum2 said:

My wife knows of my nappy fetish and used to get involved many years ago before we had kids but these days its just not her thing.

Yep, this is a depressingly familiar pattern to me.  That old misalignment adage about one party marrying hoping to change the other vs the other hoping that first party will never change does seem to have something in it.  The best I can hope for today is "ignore" and I had to fight for that.

[Ames]

I'm sorry to hear that you are having some trouble. Although tolerance is better than rejection, it's still not what you hoped for I am sure. I agree with some of the other comments. Now you have ripped the hyperthetical band aid off, communication is key. Her acceptance will likely come with understanding and she is unlikely to understand unless you continue to open yourself up. Try to continue these honest conversations with her and in setting hers and your limits and what exactly it is that you both can/will tolerate, she may be able to have a deeper understanding of what you do and why you like to do it. I hope things go well for you. Take care 

[Evelyn Dellcerro]

I knew what I was getting into when I first got married. My husband did not like diapers. His loss. He was career military and I knew I would spend many months alone and many months in my diaper to enjoy. We enjoyed a great sex life (just no diapers). We did anything and everything in bed without diapers. Diapers was my thing, and my thing alone. I loved the solitude and the masturbation time I had alone was just awesome. If you enjoy masturbation it can be very stress relieving and lots of fun if you are in diapers. I have a plethora of toys and endless hours of play time. @wetnappyThere is always time to talk and get things in the order that you like. Not all women will battle you and many will compromise with their husband. I just wasn't that lucky. Make diapers a thing for you and enjoy them if you have to by yourself. If you have to spend time in a hotel by yourself, just do it to keep your mind at ease. By all means don't go out and cheat, because that is just wrong. There are many toys that you can have fun with on your own and also toys you can share with your wife. If your wife is not open enough, masturbate on your own, then you have to keep it to yourself and make it a special thing just for you. Masturbation is not cheating. Enjoy and I wish you the best .