~5 weeks in Diapers

[jaytay]

Since the shelter in place order was issued where I live, I’ve been wearing diapers a lot more than usual. Essentially every day, though sometimes I still just wear a pull up if i’m really focused on work and know I’ll unconsciously hold because of it. Nevertheless I have been using diapers everyday for about 5 weeks now, and here are some things i noticed:

1. I still have most of my control. I am able to go without diapers, and sometimes catch myself holding it unconsciously if i’m really focused on something.

2. I’m dribbling more. Even though I still have control, I find myself dribbling frequently, and it sometimes catches me off guard.

3. My urgency has increased a lot. I have the urge to go pee a lot more frequently throughout the day, but especially early morning and evenings.

4. It’s gotten harder to pee at the toilet. I still use the toilet every morning for poops, but always wet my diapers. On days where i’m just wearing a pull up or try underwear, I’ll have a strong urge to go pee, and just stand at the toilet for a while before it finally starts to flow.

5. It’s gotten a lot easier to pee in my diaper. It’s gotten very natural for me to pee while drinking coffee in the morning. I pee very frequently in the morning and even when I’m very focused on work it feels like second nature to let it go in the mornings.

6. I often forget if I’ve just peed. There’s a strange feeling I get sometimes when I’ll be relaxing and watching a movie, and feel this vague sense of relief, and I think to myself “oh, I think i just peed!” My diapers don’t stay dry for long so it’s often hard for me to tell if it was a recent wetting or from several minutes ago.

 

#6 is definitely one of the most exciting things for me personally during this whole thing, I hope it’s a sign i’m on the right track towards losing bladder control! One sad thing is that I still haven’t wet overnight in the past 5 weeks. Does anyone else have a similar experience? 

[BoTox]

Will I do not truly desire incontinence, I play at it from time to time. The shelter/lock-down has allowed me to do a lot of extended wearing. My longest stretch was 7 days and it was pretty easy to wet without too much thought. I could walk, sit, eat, drive and wet without forcing it.

Interesting point, if I drank at least 20 ounces of liquid about 30 minutes before bed and took an Ambien after diapering up, I'd wake up wet every time I tried it, which was 3 times. That's enough for me to count it as effective. The same could not be said of Benadryl, alcohol (wine, bourbon and beer), melatonin nor valerian.

I don't usually need Ambien but I had a script for it about half a bottle left from a few years ago and I had too much time on my hands.

 

[oznl]

It’s a funny thing when we first go 24/7…  There are quite a few changes as our bodies adapt to a new normal that seem at the time, quite significant.  As the months roll by however, for many (me included), it becomes apparent that it was more to do with our sensitivity to those changes that happened rather than the magnitude of the changes themselves.

At 5 weeks, I thought I could see evidence left, right and centre that I was catapulting towards dependency.  What had actually happened was that I’d gotten used to the idea of peeing in my pants habitually and I’d also become VERY good at it.  It’s a shame it isn’t an Olympic sport because if it was, you and I would have gold medals!

In fact, decades of conditioning aren’t defeated by a few weeks here and a few weeks there.

It was more than 6 months of cumulative 24/7 before I had my first “wet” night and even today, I’m not 100% sure what’s going on between falling asleep and awaking the next morning.  After 15 months of 24/7, during the day I suspect I have little more than reduced bladder capacity and some urgency.

That’s not meant to be a message to drag anybody down.  Have a look at my blog on DD.  It spans 16 months but you can see a similar pattern.  Early “degradation” rapidly tailed off into months and months on a plateau.  Nevertheless, change do still happen.  They are just slower and more subtle than we would like and sometimes, are only obvious in retrospect.

I’m a part-time bedwetter now if that's some kind of flickering candle of hope for you.

Enjoy the ride.