Sheltering in Diapers a ??/7 experiment

[rosalie.bent]

1 hour ago, DL-Boy said:

But there are non-fetish reasons why individuals would desire to wear diapers, unrelated to age-regressive or age-play.  Emotional security is a big one. 

You make a good point, but for the purpose of the survey, it is more-or-less restricted to ABs. The question of 'emotional security' is a valid one, but I also question that if a diaper becomes a security object that it is related to infantile desires at the same time. I'm not saying that it couldnt be, but I would suggest that a lot of people who wear for emotional security do so because they are AB.

We have considered reworking our 'diaper attraction' model to include non-fetish, non-regressive and non-roleplay reasons, but have not  done so yet.

Does anyone else have thoughts about what other reasons for wearing diapers other than medical need and convenience in certain occupations or situations?

[oznl]

On 4/13/2020 at 2:50 PM, rosalie.bent said:

You make a good point, but for the purpose of the survey, it is more-or-less restricted to ABs. The question of 'emotional security' is a valid one, but I also question that if a diaper becomes a security object that it is related to infantile desires at the same time. I'm not saying that it couldnt be, but I would suggest that a lot of people who wear for emotional security do so because they are AB.

We have considered reworking our 'diaper attraction' model to include non-fetish, non-regressive and non-roleplay reasons, but have not  done so yet.

Does anyone else have thoughts about what other reasons for wearing diapers other than medical need and convenience in certain occupations or situations?

Well, *some* of the reasons people wear diapers outside of medical or functional needs are discussed at length in books you have published.

I suspect if we drew Venn diagrams covering regression, emotional security and diapers, we might find considerable overlap.

I think what I am suggesting is that by confining your research to a specific demographic that has a well-formed (usually named and gendered) infant identity is limiting yourself to a narrow sub-slice of what is already an extremely small demographic.  That’s fine.  Specialisation is no bad thing but it’s not the “all” of us.  It may not even be “many” of us, let alone the broad church that is "ABDL".

My suspicion (and intense curiosity) here is that my situation and that of “Ebony Storm”, the bonnet-and-bib wearing baby alter ego of a 50-something civil engineer actually may have a common root cause although our variant behaviours have manifested to different degrees in different planes.

[Sarah_Hillcrest]

Well it's been awhile so how about another update.  In the last nine days since I've posted I've only worn a few times, as I have experienced in the past the need goes away after indulging in diapers for awhile.  I keep all my diapers and changing supplies in the basement, so I'd got into routine of getting up early and getting diapered.  Several days lately I just felt like that would be too much bother.  If I'd had a diaper upstairs I might have put it on, or maybe not.  

This morning was the first time I had a real strong urge, which was a good thing I discovered on my morning walk.  

I seem to have a few lasting effects from my 24 days of being mostly diapered, I haven't been able to sleep for more then about 5 hours without getting up to pee, my bladder has definitely lost capacity.  During the day I'm sure that I'm peeing more and less amounts, though I haven't experienced any of those "I'm going to wet myself" moments for quite awhile.

@oznl

who is Ebony Storm?  

 

 

[oznl]

8 hours ago, Sarah_Hillcrest said:

@oznl

who is Ebony Storm? 

Yes, that was way too obscure.   Don't know what I was thinking.  Not much I suspect.  "Ebony Storm" was one of the proposed names for the baby of "Kim" of the fairly brutal Australian social satire TV series "Kath and Kim".  This was after Kim's first suggestion of "Chlamydia" was rejected even though Kim thought it was "beautiful".  Those kind of off-the-wall names (usually with some kind of variant spelling) were a thing for a while.

The baby ended up being called "Epponee Rae" in the series.

Anyway, it was kind of a real-life, larger-than-life kind of cartoon baby.  A completely obscure Australian TV cultural reference that really had no place in a global discussion ?

Normal transmission has been resumed...

[Sarah_Hillcrest]

On 4/20/2020 at 5:52 PM, oznl said:

Yes, that was way too obscure.   Don't know what I was thinking.  Not much I suspect.  "Ebony Storm" was one of the proposed names for the baby of "Kim" of the fairly brutal Australian social satire TV series "Kath and Kim".  This was after Kim's first suggestion of "Chlamydia" was rejected even though Kim thought it was "beautiful".  Those kind of off-the-wall names (usually with some kind of variant spelling) were a thing for a while.

The baby ended up being called "Epponee Rae" in the series.

Anyway, it was kind of a real-life, larger-than-life kind of cartoon baby.  A completely obscure Australian TV cultural reference that really had no place in a global discussion ?

Normal transmission has been resumed...

Actually that's one of the coolest things about being in a global discuussion, where else am I going to laugh about a baby named Chalmydia.  Here in the US, goofy names and  spellings are all the rage, how about Karsyn instead of Carson, or Meahgan instead of Megan. 

I seem to have settled into a rhythm that incorporates diapers into my life very regularly. I'm not too worried about trying to wear 24x7, but still trying to wear as much as I find myself wanting to.   Couple new things to report.

1. For a couple days  I found myself wearing but using the potty when it was convenient, I wore two diapers in about a 30 hour period because I would only wet them when I was busy and didn't want to go to the toilet.  I wore overnight without the tiniest problem falling asleep.

2.  I think because I've been wearing so frequently, but not constantly it's creating a mental change in my potty habits.  In the past when I was wearing that was defiantly the forefront of my mind, now not so much.  Definitely got to pee more often, yesterday I was working at the computer and started to go, then remembered I wasn't diapered.  It was just a tiny accident, but still kind of surprised me.  I read an article once that said putting a person in a care facility in diapers would make them incontinent very quickly.  I can sort of see the change happening very slowly in my mind, how not being able to just go whenever I feel like becomes an annoyance.  

[oznl]

On 5/6/2020 at 12:37 AM, Sarah_Hillcrest said:

 I read an article once that said putting a person in a care facility in diapers would make them incontinent very quickly.  I can sort of see the change happening very slowly in my mind, how not being able to just go whenever I feel like becomes an annoyance.  

I did a lot of google research to try to figure out what (if anything) would happen to me after months or years of 24/7 diapering.

There wasn’t really a clear answer but there was ample evidence from medical journals that incontinence in care facilities was commonly “acquired” rather than appearing as a part of a specific pathology.  It does seem that if nothing else, diaper use is habit-forming and people’s resistance to them can fade (not that I had much resistance to fade).

I don’t think much about using my diapers and very brief experimentation has shown that I now become uncomfortable very quickly if I’m not using them: still continent though, at least during the day.

[Sarah_Hillcrest]

I was gathering up our trash yesterday for pickup and found my diaper pail empty and realized I hadn't worn in a week.  Last week I think I might have had two or three diapers to dispose of.  I realized I hadn't really been thinking of diapers much and wearing them for the last two weeks.  What happened?

In late June I went on a camping trip with a friend about 6 hours away, but we drove separately.  I diapered up for the drive, but didn't wear around my friend for the next couple days.  On the way home I stopped by a ABDL guy's house.  I had been talking to this guy for a couple weeks on fetlife.  We were both looking for a non-sexual ABDL meet up.  I struggled with this for awhile, because this felt like a big deal to me and it seemed like it could go very wrong.  He was happy to have me over at his house and it was barely out of my way home so we met up at a nearby parking lot to check each other out. He was wearing a looney tunes onesie and shorts and I was wearing regular clothes over my onesie. After 30 seconds he said "You don't look like a murderer" so I followed him to his place.  Which was very nice.  

I had put on a Bunnyhops diaper that morning and went out of my way to hydrate on the drive. I needed to change bad.  We could hear each other crinkle while he showed me around his house and yard.  We spent about an hour with this and it was mostly not ABDL.  The guy was really friendly and I was feeling pretty good about it.  He lived alone but kept his ABDL stuff mostly put away because of occasional visitors.  Finally he showed me the master bedroom where he did have a changing area set up on his bed.  He was showing me his diaper collection so I showed him what I brought in my diaper bag and then took off my street clothes to show him my Bunnyhops which was swollen up. 

He remarked it was well past changing time and wanted me to wear one of his Doty the Pony diapers that he had bought for a Sissy friend that he occasionally met.  Before I knew it I was one the changing mat and getting my first diaper change by another person.  It was a very strange experience but I could tell this guy relished it.  When he was done he stretched out both hands and pulled me off the bed which created the most intense sensation of being little I'd ever felt.  Then I changed him and tried to be as thorough as he was.  I kept thinking about how weird this was but also how so many people around the world need this kind of care for various reasons.  

Now that we were both down to diapers and onesies and I was feeling the elusive "littlespace" I thought we might start acting more babyish, roleplaying, or something.  But we ended up talking like adults for awhile about various things, but soon he said he was thirsty and wanted to do bottle feeding.  We're both bigger guys but he wanted me to sit on his lap.  We both had oversizied baby bottles and filled them with apple juice.  About halfway through my bottle I was just not feeling it.  I was too worried I was crushing him but also it just didn't feel right to me. 

We switched and he layed in such a way that he wasn't putting that much weight on me and I found I much preferred this role.  I rubbed his belly and said cute little things while he suckled the bottle.  Afterward he wanted to watch cartoons, and I personally have never been able to watch children's cartoons as an adult.  We watched Rescue Rangers and he was so into it.  After a few minutes I went over to my bag and put on a very cute and short baby dress then went to lay on the floor and play with his cat and finish my bottle.  Now I was feeling exceptionally cute and girly.  I found myself crawling around and playing peakaboo with the cat and giggling and just having the time of my life.  I was also soaking my diaper.

Eventually he came over and joined me in playing with the cat but he didn't really play like I was.  I was really surprised because I had made the assumption that two ABDLs would get together and act and play like toddlers.  I was thinking we'd get out some toys, or something.  But he was more into these ABDL rituals and less into just acting like a baby I guess.  At this point we started telling stories of ABDL things we'd done.  He was far more daring then I having been out in public several times in ABDL clothes and living mostly 24/7 diapered for years.  He showed me photos from some of his past meetups with ABDLs and Daddys.

I started talking about Cross dressing and he wanted to know why I wasn't shaved like he was head to toe.  I explained my wife would prefer me not to, and that I spent to much time in shorts in the summer.  He invited me to come over again, get shaved and go full girl, as either a Mommy, sissy or whatever.  

Eventually I realized I needed to be going, I'd been there about 4 hours and he offered to change me, which I happily agreed to since the Doty was starting leak.  He put me into a Betterdy for the drive home and  gave me three nice ABDL diapers and wouldn't take any of mine in trade.  When I got home we exchanged messages on fetlife but haven't spoken since.

For the next few days I kept thinking about our play date.  It was almost exactly what I'd thought it would be.  I felt a mix between fulfillment and disappointment.  I'd wanted an experience where I could feel completely at ease and uninhibited, and I think I mostly got it, but I think ABDL play would be so much better with a small group.  Either way I found myself less interested in diapers and more interested in Cross Dressing.  A few days later when the opportunity presented itself I shaved my beard and got all glammed up in a beautiful pink lacy dress that I'd just got and had a great photo session.  I was wearing a diaper but mostly just for convenience and a little extra padding.

I don't know if it was ABDL overload, or what, but I'm sure it will come back. 

 

[oznl]

Well it sounds like you at least had an interesting time, if not 100% of everything you'd dreamed of.

I've met a few ABDL face to face in my time but it was always for nothing more than a chat.  We are rare birds and I have an intense intellectual curiosity about my peers.   I can justify discussion with another ABDL as remaining within the realms of marital fidelity but physical touching would cross a line in my mine.  Generally speaking, whilst she'd probably rather I didn't communicate at all (and so I don't tell her), my engagement with others stays within the lines of that which I would be prepared to defend myself over should it come to her attention.

In my wife's mind, it would cross the line, the field, the carpark and the street all the way down to a lawyer's office but hers is a less nuanced view. 

Freed from the bonds of marriage, would I change another?  Maybe...  If it was considered polite, assexual and the diaper was only wet :-)   I'm honestly not sure.

What were you thinking about as this was occurring?   What do you think your partner would make of this?

[Sarah_Hillcrest]

Yeah I struggled with these same questions leading up to this.  Last year  I crossed a line when I went to a munch and later a fetish picnic party outing.  Both times all I did was talk to people, and see alot of people in diapers.  That would have infuriated my wife I'm sure.  I doubt I could have defended myself in that instance.

My biggest fear was that this guy was actually lying about his total lack of interest in anything sex related.  I actually considered if I could hold my own physically in a confrontation LOL.  "Yeap, I think I could stop this dude from raping me, but what if he has a gun back at his house?"  These questions went through my mind when we met at the parking lot.  After an hour talking to him I felt really at ease about it.  

Best way to describe how I was thinking during the change was the way I have felt during an invasive medical procedure.  After it was over though the feeling was much different, I felt like a helpless child, right after he lifted me off the bed I remember just standing here with goofy haze staring off into space and thinking, I need someone to tell me what to do now.  After a few seconds of that I offered to change him, and that kind of took me out of the "littlespace" that the kids are always talking about LOL.  

[Sarah_Hillcrest]

Things have taken a drastic change in the last week. I got interested in diapers again and started wearing near the end of July then took a week long camping trip with a friend which was a zero diaper experience.  I've been completely 24/7 except for some exercise activies since I got home a week ago.  That means 7 night in diapers.  My company has totally phased out working from home now and I'm back in the office for the last 3 days.  I've worn a pull up or thin diaper every day, but been very careful to avoid wetting it as much as possible.

An even bigger change is that I opened up more to my wife, both about my emotional need for diapers and how it effects my sexuality.  I've been surprised how well she's taken it.  

Wearing at night was a huge struggle, I barely slept the first night, and only a little more the second, but now I"m sleeping regularly.  In fact I'm apprehensive about not wearing diapers to bed, though I'm sure I won't have an accident.  Every night waking to pee seems to be less intrusive to my sleep.  My biggest fear is leaks, I'm curretnly using a cheap disposable with stuffer, then a thin prefold or pocket diaper, and finally plastic pants.  It's almost perfect but I'm still having leaks, but very tiny ones mainly caused by the stuffer I think.  I really need a good overnight solution that isn't so bulky.  I'm pretty sure that my ABDL diapers would not leak but I recently got about 200 cheap disposables for free.  

@rosalie.bentI purchased the book, "The Adult Baby on the Dissociation Spectrum,"  I'm finding it fascinating.  I'm openly discussing being an Adult Baby with my wife and framing it as a mental illness.  SHe's finding it very interesting because I've always been critical of nearly anyone who claims mental illness.  I think that was part of my repression.  I explained to her that I knew it was possible to be really messed up and keep it completely to one's self so why did they need to go on about it.  

I'm at this very weird place now where I'm contemplating not wearing diapers instead of wearing.  

One problem is that I'm having huge dribble issues after using the urinal at work.  I've been have post dribbles for some time but it's way worse now.  

 

[oznl]

50 minutes ago, Sarah_Hillcrest said:

Wearing at night was a huge struggle, I barely slept the first night, and only a little more the second, but now I"m sleeping regularly.  In fact I'm apprehensive about not wearing diapers to bed, though I'm sure I won't have an accident.  Every night waking to pee seems to be less intrusive to my sleep.  My biggest fear is leaks, I'm curretnly using a cheap disposable with stuffer, then a thin prefold or pocket diaper, and finally plastic pants.  It's almost perfect but I'm still having leaks, but very tiny ones mainly caused by the stuffer I think.  I really need a good overnight solution that isn't so bulky.  I'm pretty sure that my ABDL diapers would not leak but I recently got about 200 cheap disposables for free.  

 

Leaks in bed suck majorly.

Does it really matter so much if your night diapers are a little bulky?  If it's a comfort thing, my experience is that I'll quickly get used to whatever I'm wearing.  At night I cheerfully traded "stealth" for "security", prioritising being relatively leak-proof over and above winning any fashion awards.  My less-than-enthusiastic partner reluctantly tolerates the diapers but wet bedding will be an insta-battle.  Generally if not in cloth/plastic pants, I'd be using something like a BetterDry + terry-lined waterproof pants.  I think it was the ability for me to trust my diapers to do their job that allowed me to become less and less wakeful to pee.  For me, having to wake up properly and position myself to avoid leaking problems kind of defeats the purpose of being diapered for bed in the first place.

Irrespective of that, even with thin diapers, my experience was that I did become less leak-prone over time as I drifted slowly towards a pattern of high frequency/low volume peeing.

I'm not sure how many times I wet during the night now because I don't remember them all but I suspect it's at least 3 and that's after falling asleep with a 100% empty bladder.

There is something seductively comfortable in being diapered in bed at night.  I'm not sure I'd ever want to give that up.

[Sarah_Hillcrest]

I'm finding the bulky diapers and plastic pants a bit uncomfortable, but I am getting used to them.  Last night I used a fairly thick cloth diaper with a toddler disposable stuffed inside.  The stuffer backfired I think.  At three AM I woke up and flooded.  I felt it running across my side and around my hip.  Once the disposable was full I think it redirected the flow around the side.  I expected to wake up with a wet bed, but luckily the plastic pants kept it all in, but my diaper was soaked in odd places.  

I need to find good pull on Terry pants or Waterproof Terry pants to pull on over an adult disposable.  Any suggestions?

[oznl]

34 minutes ago, Sarah_Hillcrest said:

I need to find good pull on Terry pants or Waterproof Terry pants to pull on over an adult disposable.  Any suggestions?

For plastic/terry pants, I can personally recommend the Babykins dual-layer.  I also have a "Gary" lined plastic pant which is less bulky than the Babykins but still provides some insurance.

[Sarah_Hillcrest]

Can't decide between the babykins terry pull on pants, or the combo pants with vinyl.

In other news my has progressed past tolerating diapers to feeding me babyfood, reading me stories, and getting me ready for bed.  I slept beside her last night night in a cute outfit from Little Kink Botique, a Bunnyhop, and my pacy.    I'm still not sure if I'm dreaming.  Well I know I'm not because the Bunnyhop left a wet spot on the bed.  

I'm pretty much 100% open with her now.  I just found a big lot of Abena Pull ups and other assorted diapers on cragislist very cheap and let her know I'm buying them.  

[oznl]

7 hours ago, Sarah_Hillcrest said:

Can't decide between the babykins terry pull on pants, or the combo pants with vinyl.

In other news my has progressed past tolerating diapers to feeding me babyfood, reading me stories, and getting me ready for bed.  I slept beside her last night night in a cute outfit from Little Kink Botique, a Bunnyhop, and my pacy.    I'm still not sure if I'm dreaming.  Well I know I'm not because the Bunnyhop left a wet spot on the bed.  

I'm pretty much 100% open with her now.  I just found a big lot of Abena Pull ups and other assorted diapers on cragislist very cheap and let her know I'm buying them.  

I've got a few pairs of KINS Lined 6 Mil Double Terry Vinyl Pant 20300DTLV that I use at home where I'm happy to trade bulk for security.  I actually got the first pair by mistake.  I'd just ordered a simple terry pant to layer their cotton diapers.  I wasn't sure what to do with it (sending it back to Canada from Australia seemed stupidly slow and expensive so I just lived with the mistake).  They were a bit useless as a direct diaper because once the terry toweling got saturated, it would wick up to the lycra band and make my pajamas and bed wet.  When I went 24/7 I quickly realised that they were an awesome insurance policy for disposables in bed and I ordered some more.

I also own just the terry pull on pants which I use to "layer" with cotton pull on diapers when I'm in cloth at night but the combo product works out cheaper than ordering terry pull on AND vinyl pants.  The terry lining flips out from the vinyl pant to make washing and drying easier.

Back when i was travelling for work (before the plague) I'd use the lighter-weight KINS Terry Lined Poly Pull-On Adult Pant 10200TP  Mainly because they'd take up less room in my luggage and luggage space was at a premium because I'd have to carry my nappies.

Logistics gets a lot more simple when your partner knows.

 

[Sarah_Hillcrest]

Thank you so much.  I needed those last night.  I have a few plastic pants, and a few pocket diapers.  The best thing I've found from what I have is either prefold and soakers with plastic pants, or disposable with thin prefold and plastic pants.  The pocket diapers are fine but have no side absorption for night time.  The Terry pant would be much easier then folding and pinning a prefold every night and I only have 3 anyway.  I think sepaerate plastic pants makes sense since they will wear out first anyway.

You are so right about logistics, My life feels so much simpler now.

Since this is basically my blog now I'll tell a short story about buying diapers on craigslist.  I wanted to get more pull up style diapers for discreet wear and just happened to find a huge stash on craigslist mostly of Abena.  I drove to the seller today, my wife was worried I would end up knowing them which was highly unlikely, but she worries alot.  It was actually a sad encounter.  The man had recently lost his Father and he cared deeply for him.  He was clouded in melancholy.  He helped me load them up and they completely filled my trunk.  My excitement of having a trunk full of diapers was short lived as the man wanted to exchange sad tales about caring for loved ones who need diapers.  He told me about his father's suffering and how much it devastated him to need incontinence protection.  He said, "I hope the person you're buying these for won't have to stay in them for long,"  

"No, I'd say they are are going to be stuck in them forever," I said.  I've mostly got over the shame and guilt of wanting or maybe even needing this, but this didn't feel right.  Probably stick to online from now on.  

[Sarah_Hillcrest]

Just a little update.

Been wearing overnight now for about 6 weeks. and almost constantly except at work.  

I just bought some babykins covers, terry pants, and a diaper.  I've gone from leaks almost every night, to zero leaks.  Wearing mostly cloth at night.  Typical routine is generic diaper with stuffer after work and about 5 hours later change into cloth diaper over overnight.  Overnight is way better than it used to be.  I typically don't have a problem falling asleep at 10:30.  I usually have a very cloudy wake up around midnight and pee, and fall right back asleep.  Then maybe another one around 2AM that is kind of cloudy, and takes longer to fall back sleep, and a more solid wake up around 3:30AM and then I struggle to fall back asleep.

Peeing in bed is different than the rest of the day.  I start to pee and then clinch down hard, I have to focus really hard to not clinch.  I guess it's an unconscious reaction to night wetting.

Yesterday after work I wasn't feeling overly eager to get diapered, so I decided not to.  After supper I was laying in the floor watching TV with my wife and I had to go pee again. I'd already been to the bathroom 2 or 3 times and I got a very strong urge to just wet my pants.  It was a very strange sensation, if I had to describe it was like "my little" saying,  "You think you don't need diapers, think again big girl!" I really had to talk myself out of wetting my pants, and head straight for the bathroom.  I didn't wear to bed either and had to get up to pee 3 times in the night.  

This last thing may be TMI, but I've developed one new problem, which I posted about elsewhere.  Nearly every day around 9 or 10 AM right after I pee, pull up pants, as I'm washing my hands I'll feel a slight muscle spasm and leak semen.  It doesn't seem to matter if I have had sex or masturbated the day before, or even that morning.  No pain, no difficulty with urnination, and no other changes.  I have been taking phentermine for about 2 months now.  It was giving me hard and sore nipples almost exactly at 10AM everyday, the doctor said it can mess around with hormones, but she'd never heard of anyone having sore nipples.   

 

[Sarah_Hillcrest]

My first accident

It's been six months in frequent diapers and 7 weeks now in diapers at all times except work and some exercise.  I'm now able to sleep easily in diapers, the night before last I woke up with my pacifier still in my mouth for the first time.  Waking up to wet seems more fluid now, and falling back asleep faster.  I think I usually do it 2 or 3 times a night.  As an occasional experiment I'll go a night without a diaper and it's nearly the same experience except when I wake up to wet I know I can't so either have to hold it or go pee.  I think if I really wanted to become a bedwetter then I'd have to start wetting the bed without a diaper.

I have worn a thin pull up to work many times but not really used it, but most of the time I don't and it's no problem.  I have started wearing a thin pad though because I have been dribbling alot after voiding.  I'm peeing about 5 times a day, low volume.  The drive home is the worst though.  It's an hour drive and I often really have to concentrate to hold it.

My coworker brought me a fountain soda near the end of the day yesterday I drank a bit before I left and a bit more on the ride home.  About 30 minutes in I was hit with an overwhelming need to pee.  My drive home is on a deserted country highway I was thinking about pulling off the highway to pee but didn't really want to stop, eventually though I started thinking I should just quit fighting it.   These thoughts just kept getting stronger and I decided to just let a little out in the pad to try to make it home.  Well you know how that goes.  I barely got it stopped and had damp pants, and an even stronger need to go.  I dumped out the remaining soda and pee'd in the cup, eventually I slipped and shot pee up like a fountain all over my self, steering wheel and dash.  Yes I should have just stopped and pee'd.

 

[Sarah_Hillcrest]

Well it's a little over a month since my last update.  Probably one of the coolest things that happened was finding a pack of Rearz Princess Diapers at a Bargain store.  I'm assuming they were an amazon return.  It was an incredible experience and since I was over an hour from home and not likely to be recognized I just made the most of it.  I carried the pack around the store and a case of Diaper Boosters.  When I went to check out the cashier who was a young woman didn't seem to concerned with them, but after checking them out she asked if I wanted a bag, I said, no.  "Are you sure you don't want a bag for these?" she said again.  I laughed and said, nope, its cool.  

For about a week in early October I took a break from overnight wearing and for the first time I experienced the opposite effect of what I'm used too.  Instead of being uncomfortable and anxious about being in a diaper I was worried about not being in a diaper.  The feeling wore off in a couple nights.

Eventually I wanted to go back to sleeping in diapers and again it was a struggle to get used to it, though not as bad.  

I have completely switched to sleeping on a cot at the foot of our bed.  My wife prefers me sleeping down there so she can spread out and I feel so little down there.  My wife has grown more accustomed to my diapers.  She likes to check and make sure they aren't showing before I leave the house with her.  When I wear plastic diapers she calls me crinkles, or crinklebut and it makes me melt.

I got a stern mommy style talking to the other day when I left my paci on my cot after going to work, but it was incredible.  "I know you like to go to bed with your pacifier, I see you clipping it on before you go to bed and I've woke up and saw where it fell out of your mouth, but you can't leave it there.  You have to be good and put it up every morning."

I also just totally stopped hiding the fact that I've been going to sleep with my Teddy Bear, in fact last night I said, "Good night, I love you, and Mr. Bear says good night and he loves you too."  I was just feeling so little it kind of blurted out.  She said,  "I love you and Mr. Bear too."  I feel so lucky!

Bye!

[oznl]

On 9/25/2020 at 9:26 PM, Sarah_Hillcrest said:

As an occasional experiment I'll go a night without a diaper and it's nearly the same experience except when I wake up to wet I know I can't so either have to hold it or go pee.  I think if I really wanted to become a bedwetter then I'd have to start wetting the bed without a diaper.

That’s an interesting question for me.  At this point in my 24/7 journey, I’d have to be truthful with myself and say that I’ve lost insight into how much or how often I’m using my night diaper most nights.  That’s not to say I sleep-wet every night (I don’t think I do) but there are some mornings I am quite wet with ZERO recall of wetting events and others where I can think hazily of one or two very minor wetting events but the evidence at my midriff is that far more happened down in there than I can remember.

The acid test would be if recollection-free wetting occurred in bed without a diaper.  I’d like to find out but NOT with my partner sleeping beside me! COVID-19 has killed her recreational interstate trips as effectively as it killed my job so for now it’s just an unanswered question.

My hunch is that I’d be “ok” for the first night but probably have to get up 2 or 3 times and have a lousy sleep.  I’d be more interested in what happened on the second or third night where fatigue would be setting in and the novelty of “oh my god, I’m NOT diapered!” was wearing off.  I think if I was going to wet the bed, that’s when it would happen.

7 hours ago, Sarah_Hillcrest said:

 For about a week in early October I took a break from overnight wearing and for the first time I experienced the opposite effect of what I'm used too.  Instead of being uncomfortable and anxious about being in a diaper I was worried about not being in a diaper.  The feeling wore off in a couple nights.

I haven't had the opportunity for a diaper-break but certainly at this point, I think I'd struggle to fall asleep without a diaper.  I think this is a mental barrier people have to push through and it sounds like you've done this.

[Sarah_Hillcrest]

Little update, Last Friday I decided to wear an Abena Abri-Flex to work.  I recently purchased a couple cases of these on craigslist and they are really absorbent.  Friday is a good day for me to go to work diapered as I work alone at my desk most of the day.  I have worn thin diapers and pull ups several times but avoid actually using them.  This Friday I brought a change and was planning on not using the bathroom at all.  I wet a bit on the way the work, and then wet a bit more pretty early.  At ten I had a large wetting. I felt something strange and realized my socks were wet.  It was as if I wasn't wearing a diaper at all.  My jeans were soaked and it had ran down my leg.  I tried to dry it with paper towels and hand sanitizer, (We're drowning in it)  I was thinking someone might ask me to go to lunch and I started freaking out.  I tied my jacket around my waist and left for lunch a bit early. Drove around with the windows down for awhile, it was a warm dry and windy day so that helped.  I went to a thrift store and bought a nice pair of Levis for 5 bucks and after wards my pants were mostly dry, But there was still this odd discoloration across the entire front from the pee stain. It was surprisinglly obvious and a bit smelly so I took the new pants into work and changed.

Rethinking my whole wearing to work plan, and will never trust a pull up style product again.  

[oznl]

4 hours ago, Sarah_Hillcrest said:

I felt something strange and realized my socks were wet.  It was as if I wasn't wearing a diaper at all.

LOL!  We've all done it somewhere down 24/7 road ?  I can remember very early on (maybe the first week) feeling a rivulet of warm pee run down my inside right thigh out of a barely-used Tena slip.  In a shopping mall... 

4 hours ago, Sarah_Hillcrest said:

 My jeans were soaked and it had ran down my leg.  I tried to dry it with paper towels and hand sanitizer, (We're drowning in it)

A full on 7-bells catastrophe would require my "crash kit" (spare nappies and a change of pants I carry in an old duffle bag in the back of my car).  I've never used it but I HAVE had the "have a go holding these under the hand dryer for a while and see if you can salvage the situation" game.

Dark black is your friend here.  It hides a multitude of leaks (although it sounds like you might have sailed north of that safety zone).  Most of my pants are black these days.  It's my new favorite colour.

4 hours ago, Sarah_Hillcrest said:

Rethinking my whole wearing to work plan, and will never trust a pull up style product again.  

I've never found a pull-up that was anything equal to serious use.  They might exist but I don't know about them.  They are all about convenience.  I have some "tactical" pull-ups from when I used to go to gym.  Pull-ups are quite expensive too, for something that doesn't seem to work very well.  Taped diapers are the go for me.

[Sarah_Hillcrest]

A couple new milestones.  after last weeks accident I've cut back on my daytime wearing to work,  but have gone another 7 day week sleeping in diapers.  THis week marks 3 months of mostly diapers at night, but 3 solid weeks of overnight.  So I've now reached a point where it feels 100% normal to fall asleep in diapers and I think that I would be slightly worried if I didn't wear one to bed.  I'm still waking up to wet, but it's very different now.  I'm barely waking up, and falling back asleep very quickly.  I'm also finding that I just wet in whatever position I wake up in.  In the past I would wake up, and roll to my back to wet because I was worried about leaks/  I've had lots of tiny leaks that leave tiny little spots on the sheets, but two nights ago I flooded my bed.  I remember waking up to go maybe twice.  But at 4 AM I woke up and realized I was wet from head to toe.  I was wearing my long nightgown and it was soaked and clinging to me,  I sleep on a hospital style twin mattress that we keep at the foot of our bed, it's waterproof so not a big deal.  I tried to fall back asleep and eventually did and woke up an hour later just really cold and uncomfortable.  It was a flash back to my youth for sure.  I pulled the sheets and washed them.  I tried a slightly different diaper strategy that night.  I had a cheapo disposable, a all in one cloth diaper I made and a pair of Babykins single terry pants with poly cover.  The cheapo disposable was barely wet but cloth diaper was soaked through and the babykins Terry pant was as well.  I must have wet very heavily on my front and the flow was directed right out the top of the disposable. 

Last night was another milestone, my first ever pacifier dream.  I've had a few diaper dreams, but never one specifically about a pacifier.  I woke up at 3 and couldn't find my pacifier, it had come unclipped from my collar.  I woke back up at 4 and really wanted it.  I eventually found it.  I've fallen asleep with it in my mouth a few times but I think it usually falls out, but I know that I have woken up once before with it still in my mouth.  In my dream I was at a work function, it was a luncheon type thing.  I was walking around with my coworkers and one of them said since we were going to eat we could take our masks off.  I did and noticed people were giving me strange looks.  I realized I had a pacifier in my mouth.  In the dream I had gotten so used to wearing it that I'd forgotten it was under my mask.  For some reason I didn't take the pacifier out, but instead put the mask back on.  I found a mirror and noticed that the handle was peaking out under the mask and everyone could see it.  Strangely in the dream I wasn't really concerned and then I woke up feeling really content and peaceful with the pacifier in my mouth.   

[Sarah_Hillcrest]

Wow, it's been nearly 3 months since an update.

In early December I talked to my wife and told her I was hiding ABDL items in about 5 different locations and I wanted to put them all in one place.  We have a secluded corner in out basement that is almost a separate room.  She thought it was a good idea to keep them all in the same place.  I cleaned the area up and filled it with stuffies, diapers, bottles and changing supplies.  My wife wasn't particularly happy about this, she thought I was going to "Hide" everything in the room and not display it, but I assured her that it was totally safe.

The holiday season was a major bummer this year, but we made the best of it.  My wife's parents got covid right before Christmas and she had spent time with them just a few days before.  We were sure we'd come down with it too so we isolated and saw no one around Christmas time.  At this point I was nearly 24/7 diapered.  We still had a good Christmas together and considered ourselves very lucky as neither one of us had any symptoms.  My wife bought two items from Lil Kink Boutique I asked for, a cute dress and onesie.

While my little ABDL room was nice it wasn't enough, I started thinking about how i could get a crib in there and make into a real nursery.  My wife on the other hand was worried someone would wander into our house and find it.  In early January I had a few bad dreams in which my secret ABDL life was exposed in various different ways.  

Around early Jan my interest in ABDL just plummeted.  I packed up some of my stuff and left some of it out.  I obviously was worried about getting caught or I wouldn't have been dreaming about it.  I just seemed to suddenly loose interest.  It took about three days to adjust to regular potty use  I was surprised when I realized I wore exactly two diapers over the entire month of January.  

About a week ago it was back.  I've found I can no longer hide that I'm wearing diapers from my wife, she has picked up on all the clues and regularly checks.  It's very cute now, she has a couple times used the word diaper, but we usually refer to them as crinkles which seems easier for both of us.  "Are you going to be crinkly today?"  "I've got to go change my crinkles."    Yesterday I was crinkling around the house and she asked me if I needed my butt changed in almost exactly the way you'd ask a toddler.  I told her it was barely wet but she could check and see.  She just rolled her eyes and said "I'm not doing that."   

Anyway hope everyone is warm and safe because winter's fury is here.

Bye!

[oznl]

I think some degree of fluctuating enthusiasm somewhat goes with the territory.  It's probably just that I'm shifted a little further up the spectrum and so even the "low" ebb of the enthusiasm cycle isn't really enough to see me disrobe.  I'm also just a little bit dependent at this point so going without a nappy although feasible (at least during the day) would be very, very inconvenient due to my very short "range".

I personally think people should be diapered to the extent that they want: no more, no less.  I can't see the point in setting goals and milestones.  It's the journey, not the destination.

On 11/22/2020 at 12:31 AM, Sarah_Hillcrest said:

Last night was another milestone, my first ever pacifier dream.  I've had a few diaper dreams, but never one specifically about a pacifier.  I woke up at 3 and couldn't find my pacifier, it had come unclipped from my collar.  I woke back up at 4 and really wanted it.  I eventually found it.  I've fallen asleep with it in my mouth a few times but I think it usually falls out, but I know that I have woken up once before with it still in my mouth.  In my dream I was at a work function, it was a luncheon type thing.  I was walking around with my coworkers and one of them said since we were going to eat we could take our masks off.  I did and noticed people were giving me strange looks.  I realized I had a pacifier in my mouth.  In the dream I had gotten so used to wearing it that I'd forgotten it was under my mask.  For some reason I didn't take the pacifier out, but instead put the mask back on.  I found a mirror and noticed that the handle was peaking out under the mask and everyone could see it.  Strangely in the dream I wasn't really concerned and then I woke up feeling really content and peaceful with the pacifier in my mouth.   

Although I don't do the pacifier thing (and I'd probably be single if I tried), I used to have loads of diaper dreams early on in 24/7 but as you'd expect, it quietened down a lot.  They still happen from time to time and when they do, they often revolve around the concept of unwanted exposure.  I suppose that is a residual anxiety.

12 hours ago, Sarah_Hillcrest said:

  

Anyway hope everyone is warm and safe because winter's fury is here.

I've seen some pretty weird weather forecasts for some US places for sure...  I saw that there had been ice storms in Corpus Christi.  Corpus Christi is a similar latitude to where I live and I've only once seen a light frost the entire time I've lived here (the frost made the news).

The weather is hot, humid and very, very boring here.