Infantilism/advanced Baby

[jasryderbb]

Hi I'm just wonderin if anyone else is not really an ab/dl but doesn't know exactly where they are

The onset of true infantilism is marked by earliest of memories fantasizing of regressive dependencies. Usually always during early childhood & youth the individual believes they are isolated and alone with these regressive desires, and that no one else in the world is like them. These individuals for the most part keep their pervasive symptoms of needing to act-out the regression hidden from family, friends and significant others. A common theme revolves around wearing diapers, which in most cases will give rise toward a role-identification of an infantile personality. Over time the behavior in most all cases will expand to include other infantile objects such as pacifiers, baby blankets, baby bottles and soft stuffed figures

to Read more Click here

[Repaid1]

Hi I'm just wonderin if anyone else is not really an ab/dl but doesn't know exactly where they are

The onset of true infantilism is marked by earliest of memories fantasizing of regressive dependencies. Usually always during early childhood & youth the individual believes they are isolated and alone with these regressive desires, and that no one else in the world is like them. These individuals for the most part keep their pervasive symptoms of needing to act-out the regression hidden from family, friends and significant others. A common theme revolves around wearing diapers, which in most cases will give rise toward a role-identification of an infantile personality. Over time the behavior in most all cases will expand to include other infantile objects such as pacifiers, baby blankets, baby bottles and soft stuffed figures

to Read more Click here

Perhaps I'm not getting your point but it seems as though you just described a defination of a AB?

[kittyclaire]

better explanation please?

[jasryderbb]

better explanation please?

maybe I'm jus confused sorry

[Pipsqueak]

Am I right in thinking that you're questioning whether you fall into what Kathie Stringer describes as true infantalism or into the umbrella term of AB/DL which she describes as covering everything including diaper fetishes?

If that's the case, I'm not certain that it is quite so cut and dry as she suggests. AB/DL might cover a lot of different scenarios but most of us can find a home on the spectrum somewhere between Adult Baby and Diaper Lover. Whether there is a sexual component involved is beside the point as far as I'm concerned. People are individuals and I'm sure it's rare to get any two people exhibiting exactly the same behaviours because we've all come from completely different backgrounds and upbringings.

Is that what you were asking or am I way off-base?

[DIAPERPHANTOM]

I personally find discussing labels inherently unproductive on the boards, however...

Like I said in your intro, I enjoyed reading the article very much. I haven't had time to really digest everything the author was saying, but if you are implying that Advanced Baby is a more appropriate term to describe those that come under true infantilism, as defined by the author, then I accept your definition. However, I fail to see why you don’t consider yourself an Adult Baby. IMO, the term Adult Baby is not limited to only those that acquired these desires later in life.

Since the only difference I see between Advanced Baby and Adult Baby is when these desire manifested, every Advanced Baby is an Adult Baby after 18, but not every Adult Baby is an Advanced Baby. With that said, unless I misunderstood the article, I don't think many here will be able to answer your question. Please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong...

[enfant]

Why oh why is it so important for us to label ourselves? Just be who you are. Struggling to figure out which exact sort of infantilist you are, or what exact thing to name yourself, is a waste of time, and it's unnecessarily self-limiting. You can learn a lot more about yourself by paying attention to yourself--what you do, what you like, who you are--than by making up theories about different categories and then pigeonholing yourself into one of them.

There are as many different ways to be an infantilist as there are infantilists. No one has the right to decide for anyone else (much less everyone else) what a "true" infantilist is (what am I, then, a false infantilist?). Ms. Stringer has been trying for some time now (for instance, in an edit war on wikipedia several months ago) to redefine the word "infantilism" for everyone else. As far as I know, she bases it solely on her own notions about herself, not on the experiences of anyone else. I would recommend taking her definitions of infantilsm, AB, DL, and everything else with a large pile of salt.

[AutieAB]

Why oh why is it so important for us to label ourselves? Just be who you are. Struggling to figure out which exact sort of infantilist you are, or what exact thing to name yourself, is a waste of time, and it's unnecessarily self-limiting. You can learn a lot more about yourself by paying attention to yourself--what you do, what you like, who you are--than by making up theories about different categories and then pigeonholing yourself into one of them.

I personally find discussing labels inherently unproductive on the boards, however...

I agree entirely that labelling people is an almost wholly pointless process but the most pointless thing of all is when psychiatrist types try to do it 'cos they're absolutely no good at it!

It's best to realise as soon as possible that psychiatrist's labels and descriptions of people are for 'official use only' and more often than not bear little or no relation to reality.

AutieAB (Full-time psych-cynic )

[wetvinyl]

Why oh why is it so important for us to label ourselves? Just be who you are.

I agree-- the hell with labels. But up to a point.

I'm a DL-- comfortably so. I just like to tape on a nice comfy diaper, pull on some plastic pants, and I'm good to go. That's what's worked for me since about 1970 or so.

I don't have any urge to add baby dress-up, pacis, bottles, any of the accessorizing into my diaper experience... so I am clearly not an AB. (If I have a roleplay age, it's of a kid of about 9 or 10, put back in diapers.) Ten years ago, before my discovery of the online AB/DL commune, I had never imagined AB people-- folks that were not only into diapers, but enjoyed that whole other level of babyplay. It was an interesting discovery (along with discovering the online AB/DL comm in itself)-- but nevertheless, it's not my preference. It's just diapers for me, and that's fine.

If somebody came up to me and wanted to babyplay that way, I'd feel kind of like a fish outa water-- it's not the way I roll. There's full-on AB's, and then there's just DL's; I think they're two distinct subjective experiences.

(Yes, even if the hottest sweetest Mommy in the world wanted to dress me up and treat me like a baby every day... I'm not entirely sure I'd be into that for very long. Hey... would I love to meet a lady that was into mutual diaper-play? Absolutely! But I have no pre-existing desire to meet a lady that would dress me up in baby clothes and treat me like an AB all the time. That fantasy's just not there, for me.)

Are all AB's also DL's? Hey, I don't know. But definately-- not all DL's are AB's.

So, IMHO... labels do have some place!

Vinyl.

[DL Dave]

Lables aren't good or bad, it's how we use them and the meaning we give them. As for psychiatrists didn't we beat that dead horse in another thread? Some of us like labels, it helps us to understand things. That dosn't mean that every "lable" is correct, nor are they engraved in stone. In general terms there are several lables that apply to me, they don't define me, but do highlight parts of who and what I am, some of those lables are: son, grandson, dad, husband and son-inlaw. I'm also a member of a church, have a profession, and wear diapers. Each of the lables tells alittle about me. Not every thing, and certainly not enough to make a clear picture of who I am, (unless you have the whole list, most don't).

Nothing wrong with labbles. Just in how we use them. I'm guessing the person who started this thread is trying to figure out who they are and how or where they fit in the world. I can understand that, that's one of the reasons I visit sites like this. If anything in this or other threads helps others find that for them selves, then I think it was a good question.

[Baby Mommy]

I'm not big on labels since they limit. I like what the late, great Leo Buscaglia once said. "I love being considered insane because it gives me an enormous latitude for behavior. I can do damn near anything, and people just say, that's that crazy Leo for you." I feel the same way he did.

So I tend to talk about my behavior, but if I gave myself a label, it would be an incontinent AB, not a DL. The wetting is for real, and I don't mess except when it's a medical problem like a stomach virus or something. I know that many, maybe most, people in the AB/DL community enjoy wetting and messing their diapers. Some DL's don't wet or mess them, just wear them. I don't wear diapers for that reason. I wear diapers because I am incontinent. The AB part of me gets off on other baby behavior, such as sucking my thumb, looking and dressing like a little girl, crying out loud, using baby talk, etc.

And... (smiling to make announcement) I think I might have a Daddy now. He's been doing the Daddy thing for me online for a couple of weeks, and I think he might stay my Daddy. He says he will only spank me if I lie to him, like not telling him when I wet, or if I do something that's not safe for little girls to do. And that's only in the AB context, when I'm in baby mode. He won't spank me for wetting, and when I'm in adult mode, he's not Daddy. He's friend. What else he'll be, as time goes by, remains to be seen.

I had a Daddy once who did spank me for wetting. He abused me in our adult relationship too. This is why he's no longer my Daddy--or my husband, for that matter.

Daddy makes me wear dipeys every night, and he says he'll put me in twaining pants if I wet during the day. Sometimes I do...

I'm sure this fetish has something to do with a highly dysfunctional childhood, without a good relationship with my real mommy, and almost no relationship at all with my real father, who I'm not even attached to enough that I can refer to him as my daddy. I had virtually no childhood. Maybe I just want one now. Regardless of the psychological reasons...

It's fun to have a Daddy.

[enfant]

There's full-on AB's, and then there's just DL's; I think they're two distinct subjective experiences.

But that's the thing, they're not distinct. Me, I like diapers, and I also like some other babyish things (pacifiers, thumbsucking, bottles, onesies, sometimes I sleep with a stuffed animal), but there's a whole lot of distance I don't want to go. I have no interest in talking babytalk, being spoonfed isn't much fun, being bathed is just enh. I don't much like baby toys, baby music, or baby TV shows. Lots of kinds of AB-play I'm just not into. And though I wear diapers quite often, and could imagine wearing them 24/7 if the circumstances were right, I only occasionally do the other stuff, and can't imagine staying interested in it for an extended period. So, "AB" or "DL"? Depends on when you look, and who's drawing the line. There's nothing "distinct" about the two--it's just a spectrum. And it's a rather limited spectrum, too--there are a lot more elements to the fetish that could be talked about, that those two labels leave out--the fact that I like hypnosis and spanking, for instance; not all of us do. Besides, people change--I used to be exactly like you, uncomfortable with terms like "adult baby" because my main interest was just wetting; my tastes have expanded over the years, as people's tastes often do.

It seems to me that the terms "AB" and "DL" were invented not to include but to separate. From when they were first coined in the 90s, right up to today, I've regularly heard them used to say things like: "I'm a DL but not an AB." But why bother to say that? I tend to assume it's because some DL's are embarassed to be associated with us freaky AB's, which I find rather silly, considering that to the normal folks out there, we're all basically identical freaks. Almost all of us have some subset of baby stuff that appeals to us and some subset that doesn't; your set of stuff that appeals to you may be limited to diapers, while mine is a little more inclusive, but that doesn't mean our experiences are different. They really aren't.

This term "true infantilist" that Kathi Stringer has been urging people to adopt seems the same to me. It's not as much about what you are as what you aren't. (See the first post in this thread: "not really an ab/dl".) I don't think it's very helpful or productive to embrace terms like that.

Over there on the left, it says I'm an "Adult Baby". I chose that for three reasons: because "Infantilist" wasn't available, because it's closer to accurate than the other options, and because after seeing people say things in chat rooms like "I'm strictly a DL and I'm not interested in talking to AB's"--but never seeing anyone say the opposite--I know very clearly which side of the imaginary dividing line I want to be on. But I still think the line is imaginary.

[Pipsqueak]

I agree completely, enfant!

It's not black and white, it's black, white and a large selection of grey shades. We're all the same animal, we just have a myriad of different stripes and spots.

[jason]

I agree with you all but it's Very hard to even Know what to say I am ......... So I'll just say I'm a human that went through a Rough Childhood..... which Could be a reason why I wear diapers in private when I am feeling down.

But I tend to get over it...... especially with the fear of having someone that doesn't know a bit about it find out and really cut you in half for doing it......

But If I have someone to vent that part of me with (my baby/toddler side) then that's cool as long as it doesn't involve the world