New And So Scared I Feel Sick

[Bunny2124]

Errrrr hey. As the topic says I am new to posting and to the message boards in general.

I have been visiting DD for a while now and (No offence to anyone here) I have not participated or shared my love for this because I have not really understood why I found it alluring. In fact at some point I thought me and anyone like me (The above apology inserts here) were sick in the head.

Now I am really really sorry for offending anyone but I think its best to be up front with this sort of stuff. I am giving you all my deepest darkest secret that only one other person knows.

I tried to give up and I blocked all of the two websites I visited from my web browser (I love this site, its been a huge support for me) and throwing out my accumulated things. Believe it or not the disgust in myself was prompted after meeting my brilliant girlfriend, she is the most perfect person in the world and felt doing something like this behind her back was a terrible thing. But after a couple of months (Yeah will power not good) I couldn't take it anymore. I felt depressed and not myself. I felt like I was betraying who I was. So I once again started wearing diapers every now and then.

I live with my parents which is a huge problem for me and don't think I could ever tell them about it. I guess my greatest fear would be losing everything I have because of who I am. But anyway (Sorry for going off track) last night I told my girlfriend of 9 months that I am, to quote "Kind of into the whole AB/DL thing."

Now this had to have been one of the biggest and most emotionally charged moments of my life. I was telling the girl I love that I would like to be sometimes dressed and treated like a baby. To be honest she took it quite well, she seemed a little taken a back at first having no idea I was into this stuff but seemed to accept it. After a couple of hours and me showing her this site and others she started to cry, she claims she doesn't know why she was crying but I think she did, but I would hate to speculate.

Anyway she accepted my feelings but she isn't very comfortable with it and doesn't want me to dress around her. I guess this has made me feel worse. I just really don't know what to do anymore. She has given me her honest opinion and says it isn't a super big thing and she could live with it but would like me to stop if I could.

I love her so much and she means everything to me and would like to give up. (Again no offence to you guys) I know most of the AB/DL community are just normal people but this thing will ruin my relationship, I can see it coming.

I know this isn't exactly an intro but I just wanted to be completely honest about who I am and my mixed feelings. It was my girlfriend that actually suggested I join the message boards to talk to other people like me. (Believe it or not I have never talked to anyone like me or anyone else about this)

So I guess I'm looking for something I have never got. Acceptance and true opinions on what I should do. Someone to talk to would be nice too.

Bunny

[Pipsqueak]

Welcome Bunny. We've all been in the head-space you are in now. Binge and purge is a term you'll hear over and over again. For those of us who discovered this part of ourselves long before the internet, we lived alone with our fear that there was no sane person like us in the world.

The most important thing is to try not to be too hard on yourself. It's not illegal. It's not hurting anyone. Essentially you're wearing plastic covered underwear and engaging in a little role-playing. Really not so terrible if you think about it.

As for your relationship, it was very brave of you to tell her. The hard part is over. She might not have responded exactly the way you wanted her to, but it was probably a bit of a shock to her and she needs time to process it. Hopefully with time she'll come to realize that it's not some scary thing. She may never want to "play" with you in that way, but that doesn't mean she won't continue to love you.

Good luck!

[Bunny2124]

Thank you so much you have helped me.

And to everyone else I wanna say hi, now you know my story im 20, from Berkshire in the UK.

Bunny

[enfant]

Hi Bunny, welcome. And, what Pipsqueak said. She's totally right.

I've been right where you are and know exactly what that "so scared I feel sick" feeling is like. It's a hard time to get through, but believe it or not, you're going to be fine. *hugs*

[Forever3]

Welcome to DD Bunny. Pipsqueak hit the nail on the head, or so to speak. I too, had those feelings. I have found that the more I talk about it OL, the more I can accept and cope with myself being a ab/dl. Yeah, I too have gone through a few binge and purge times, kicking myself mentally for being "odd", but once I found friends who share in my attraction to diapers, it (for me) kinda "clicked" that, mabey I wasn't as odd as I once thought. I wish you the best of luck, and congratulate you on overcoming one of THE (IMO) toughest hurdles in a ab/dl relationship. Again, welcome to the Forum.

[DIAPERPHANTOM]

Welcome to the site, Bunny2124! Pipsqueak really did an excellent job of addressing your concerns. Since I share her same point of view, I have very little to add to what she has already said. I too hope everything works out and I wish you the best of luck as well.

[Repaid1]

I also will agree with the above statements. So I in turn wish you the best of success, in your relationship and your life as a AB. You may want to start unblocking all those sites now. I'm sure she is going to need alittle more research on the topic. Trust me you didn't offend anyone with your statements. I hope I don't do the same in commenting that many people with this lifestyle have to make choices. Those of us lucky enough to have a totally understanding spouse/SO, find it strange to hear of others with a non-supporting one.

I'm sure you will find by searching some of the past threads on this subject that many people have offered advice as to how they broached the subject. Many of the Couples on here have equally given advice to those distraght with their personal relationships at present, with a non-involved partner.

A relationship is one of both trust and love, seems to me you proved both to her, now perhaps with time she will return the favor. Good luck again, and great to have you aboard.

[Bunny2124]

Thank you again for the welcomes. Dont worry Repaid they are unblocked In fact when i told her she did massive amounts of research on the subject which I was quit thrilled about because it meant it didn't scare her. She is absolutley amazing.

[nappyloon]

Welcome Bunny, glad you have finally come to terms with your "inner person" dont worry you are amongst a lot of like minded people here who will gladly help you out with any questions you may have.

Perhaps being with someone you love is the most important thing, but being with sonmeone who loves you and your fetish is even more wonderful

[Sticks]

Errrrr hey. As the topic says I am new to posting and to the message boards in general.

I have been visiting DD for a while now and (No offence to anyone here) I have not participated or shared my love for this because I have not really understood why I found it alluring. In fact at some point I thought me and anyone like me (The above apology inserts here) were sick in the head.

Now I am really really sorry for offending anyone but I think its best to be up front with this sort of stuff. I am giving you all my deepest darkest secret that only one other person knows.

I tried to give up and I blocked all of the two websites I visited from my web browser (I love this site, its been a huge support for me) and throwing out my accumulated things. Believe it or not the disgust in myself was prompted after meeting my brilliant girlfriend, she is the most perfect person in the world and felt doing something like this behind her back was a terrible thing. But after a couple of months (Yeah will power not good) I couldn't take it anymore. I felt depressed and not myself. I felt like I was betraying who I was. So I once again started wearing diapers every now and then.

I live with my parents which is a huge problem for me and don't think I could ever tell them about it. I guess my greatest fear would be losing everything I have because of who I am. But anyway (Sorry for going off track) last night I told my girlfriend of 9 months that I am, to quote "Kind of into the whole AB/DL thing."

Now this had to have been one of the biggest and most emotionally charged moments of my life. I was telling the girl I love that I would like to be sometimes dressed and treated like a baby. To be honest she took it quite well, she seemed a little taken a back at first having no idea I was into this stuff but seemed to accept it. After a couple of hours and me showing her this site and others she started to cry, she claims she doesn't know why she was crying but I think she did, but I would hate to speculate.

Anyway she accepted my feelings but she isn't very comfortable with it and doesn't want me to dress around her. I guess this has made me feel worse. I just really don't know what to do anymore. She has given me her honest opinion and says it isn't a super big thing and she could live with it but would like me to stop if I could.

I love her so much and she means everything to me and would like to give up. (Again no offence to you guys) I know most of the AB/DL community are just normal people but this thing will ruin my relationship, I can see it coming.

I know this isn't exactly an intro but I just wanted to be completely honest about who I am and my mixed feelings. It was my girlfriend that actually suggested I join the message boards to talk to other people like me. (Believe it or not I have never talked to anyone like me or anyone else about this)

So I guess I'm looking for something I have never got. Acceptance and true opinions on what I should do. Someone to talk to would be nice too.

Bunny

Well, it's been a while since you first posted this, but hopefully by now, your in a better place than you were. I'd be interested in knowing where you are now. If you've stopped wearing all together, maybe your outlet is this site. The best news would be that your gf has, at a minimum, accepted your desire to wear and lets you from time to time.

Years ago, I quit worrying about why I wore and just accepted it. Makes life a lot easier, but then nearly all young ppl go though this phase because they believe it's wrong to continue to dress in baby clothing. Before they find out otherwise, they believe they're the only ones who have these feelings and do this sort of thing. As has already been pointed out, it's just a different form of clothing. Admittedly, its baby tested and who else would you want to test such clothing if your going to be wearing.

It's all been said above, so stop worrying. Hope your relationship is still on.

[jon_abdl]

hi bunny welcome

ive been in that situation i told my ex about it, she took it really well considering she wasnt a open minded person. but did say she never wanted to have anything todo with it although she didnt mind me wearing them in front of her under cloths if i didnt wet or mess. thing went on like normal for ages till we split up for other reasons and im not sure if these where her true feelings or because it was heat of the moment emotions etc but she said some very nasty things to me.

my advice would be to take it very slowly with her if you decide to carry on with being a abdl make sure she is really ok with it, my ex although she said she was she was hiding her true feelings.

on a happier note ive also told my mother and she was totally cool about it she talked about stopping and i told her i dont want too im happy with who i am she said fine your not hurting yourself or others, your happy and thats what matters to me.

i hope everything works out for you