Interesting Article On A Failing Aby/dl Relationship

[BabyKacy]

I think this kind of selfish one sided relationship is the reason why majority of relationships based off infantalism fail. Perhaps you could add some commentary on the response from the author and the actions of the couple.

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=153164

Baby Kacy

[pampermeinia]

Na don't feel like it

[justindiapers]

I think Dan probably went overboard in claiming that most AB's are alone and miserable, (though I'm not an AB, so...) but I agree with his assessment of the husband and his advice to the wife. Assuming that she told us all the necessary details of their relationship, I'd say that the guy is an inconsiderate brat who doesn't deserve his mommy.

I have no idea how many relationships based on infantilism fail, so I won't comment on whether or not this is a common reason. That said, I suspect that the general problem of one person taking more than he/she gives is a fairly common cause of failed relationships. The only difference is that the give/take problem in this particular relationship is over an issue (infantilism) that is a bit more "out there" than most.

[BBoy]

I'd dump the chump. He has got it all but doesn't recognise there is give and take in all relationships. It doesn't matter if it includes diapers or a boring/mild fetish. You have to respect your partner enough to fulfil their needs. This idiot can't see past his own self-indulgence and his own wants.

Where is the respect?

[Gennie]

While still looking for a relationship for myself, I can't believe that this guy is totally missing the point, and that is that both people need to have their particular needs met. If she wants vanilla, or suger coated cayenne hot sex, it doesn't matter, he better stand to attention, and get her taken care of.

Anyone who doesn't is going to lose their partner, and rightfully so!

Even relationships where both are babies, or Daddy/Baby Girl and one partner is not getting their fair share is likely to end up in the dumpster. Both need their needs met.

Someone once said that marriage is a 50/50 proposition, but that's actually incorrect. In fact, marriage is 100/100 proposition, and if both partners aren't giving it 100% of themselves to the other, and that includes each others sexual needs, then it's going to fail.

If I was the wife, he would be so cut off, it would hurt him. I would burn his diapers in front of his eyes, just to make a point. It plays both ways. If she isn't getting hers, he doesn't get his. And since he isn't really a baby (none of us ABs are!) he needs to act in a responsible, grown up way, if he wants to keep what he has.

Gary

[diaperwearntigger]

Relationships fail numerous of times whether they are AB related or not. With any relationship each person must give a 100% and give many compromises, which many people forget. Not only that but most people fall into the trap that Love is a feeling, it should be bubbly and they should feel it ALL the time, that is so not the case. There are going to be many days you don't feel like loving the person you are with and that bubbly feeling is NOT there all the time, esp when your partner has done something to make you mad. And usually when the feelings have gone away, most people believe the LOVE has gone away, and thus they go about saying, I'm not in love with you anymore. Love is a give and take, its definitely a compromise, its forgiving, its doing anything and everything for that person whether or not you want to (ie, going to the opera etc...blah opera)... Love is a commitment, but when it comes to an AB relationship we tend to forget that this is a big compromise and a give and take.

I feel that most AB relationships fail because they do not base their relationship on anything but the the AB/daddy or mommy side of things. Realistically, you can not be a baby 24/7, That is not giving 100%, and that definitely is not a compromise, and definitely beyond being selfish (you have to think, what am i giving to my partner if im a baby 24/7) , not to mention you must be running away from something, and what really gets me are those who say they are 24/7, but yet they still do adult things ... ok sorry getting off subject here..... anyways, as I was saying, any relationship must be based on adult life, regardless of what you want, you still are an adult and you still have adult responsibilities. What do you do in a relationship when you aren't roleplaying?? If you can't connect on an adult relationship then the AB relationship will not last. ABs (and yes I am one) are so quick and so worried about finding a 'mommy' and 'daddy' that they forget when that 'mommy' and that 'daddy' is no longer roleplaying there are adult things that need to be done, like cleaning house, paying bills, working, cooking, grocery shopping, and just doing adult activities..... ok rambling....

I guess what I'm trying to say is this.... an adult relationship must be established first, and the daddy/baby or mommy/baby relationship should be seen as a bonus. If you can't relate outside of the roleplaying aspect then your relationship is not going to work because like I said, in reality, you can't roleplay 24/7.... I personally would be bored with it, and it wouldn't be all that special... I love my adult life and I know that the AB is part of me, and does not control me, unfortuantely for some it does, and thats not healthy. Also, the AB side of the relationship should be met as well, because we all know, including myself, if that AB side is not met, sadness, depression can set in. You need some kind of release as well

My story.... I met my daddy online over 3 years ago in the abdl yahoo room... We actually were friends for three months before even moving into the daddy/baby relationship. We established a friendship even before the talk of anything more came about. We talked online and on the phone for 6 months before visiting each other. After about three visits, another 6 months of talking I moved to be with him (I was in NC and he was in OR). We have been living together for 2 1/2 years, and will be married in October 2007. We have a wonderful adult relationship, our daddy/baby relationship needs a little work, which we are working on, and it is hard esp with adult life getting in the way, and those unexpected vistors like friends and families, or situations that come up unexpectedly, but we are definitely working on it, but I still love him, no matter what.....

[DiaperBigBoy]

I think this kind of selfish one sided relationship is the reason why majority of relationships based off infantalism fail. Perhaps you could add some commentary on the response from the author and the actions of the couple.

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=153164

Baby Kacy

I love your Avatar and Signature, Very cool

[DIAPERPHANTOM]

I think Dan probably went overboard in claiming that most AB's are alone and miserable, (though I'm not an AB, so...) but I agree with his assessment of the husband and his advice to the wife. Assuming that she told us all the necessary details of their relationship, I'd say that the guy is an inconsiderate brat who doesn't deserve his mommy.

I have no idea how many relationships based on infantilism fail, so I won't comment on whether or not this is a common reason. That said, I suspect that the general problem of one person taking more than he/she gives is a fairly common cause of failed relationships. The only difference is that the give/take problem in this particular relationship is over an issue (infantilism) that is a bit more "out there" than most.

Well said! Without more details or his perspective, the article solicits a prescribed response.

[Vic]

I honestly can't figure out why that woman has stayed with this guy as long as she has.

Is he as self absorbed in the other aspects of their relationship? I really can't see someone being so obtuse to their partners needs.

To be with a partner in life you have to be a partner, marriage is something that both partners have to work on together for it to be healthy. If this guy could see what he's doing....I don't know, maybe he just feels entitled.

How anyone can be that dense and still be able to function on the face of this planet, just goes to show you. Well she has my sympaty, but she deserves better treatment from her partner than this.

Vic

[Baby Mommy]

I'd say that guy is an adult baby in more ways than one: Not just as a fetish, but in the sense that he is too immature to think about anyone's feelings but his own. He gets his way, or nothing happens.

I'm not going to sit here and talk about what makes a relationship succeed, because I've never had one succeed past five or six years. But I'm getting pretty good at what makes them fail, and I don't think it's the AB sex that made it fail. It's the lack of respect in general. His life is all about him, and what gives her pleasure doesn't matter a lick to him. That's not just about sex. That's an underlying attitude. She exists to please him. She's not an equal partner. Even outside the world of AB such a relationship would fail.

I know. I had one years ago that...pardon my crudeness...sex was only an elaborate way for him to whack off. He acted like I was nothing but a blow-up rubber doll that also happened to be able to cook and clean. I was there to serve him, and he didn't care whether I had any pleasure at all, in or out of bed. And that selfish attitude carried over to other parts of our lives too. He made every decision from how to spend the money, to what to cook for supper, to what music to play on the radio. He didn't care about my input or my preferences. A relationship like that is just plain doomed, and sex is not the reason.

[BabyChris121675]

I've never been in an AB relationship, only cause I have never found anyone I can share my baby side with, or be a daddy to.

I am at a stage in my life, where I want a family, and kids, at this point in my life, an AB relationship is something I am not looking for right now, cause I know the odds are not good in that, cause I've always failed in attempts, or have been misled by sissies who try to pass themselves off as real girls. I just have gotten tired of trying to find an AB relationship, if I find one, oh well, if I don't life goes on and I am not gonna cry or whine about it. Life's too short to always foucs on the fetish.

I have about given up looking for an AB relationship myself, not gonna happen. Besides, I want more in my life than AB.

BabyChris121675

[DiaperBigBoy]

Relationships fail alot of times, because of the parties is doing more or giving more. Agresstion plays alot in relationships. Some peeople push and push and push, and don't realize they are pushing the other person away.

[diaperpin]

WEll I was in a 18 .5 year live in relationship . At frist she was all in to me being in diapers . But when we moved from oragain to minn.

It was all different . She did not want to see or know about My Ab/dl side . well That all ended 2 years ago . I have met some eles now and

I have to say what realy works is that I told Her about eveny thing up front because I did not want a nother 18 years of no love in My life

I have been out about wareing diapers to my whole famly and my friends and well I have only lost one friend and he stil calls every once a n

a while . So the best thing to do is well be up front and try to scare the one You think You love away if she is still there in a week and then a month

well then she might be the one . I do have to agreee that As the ab/dl you must give as much as you get back .

Thanks for eveyone s time . diaperpin

[uk_DL]

I have been in a relationship where after she had moved in with me and 2 months had passed, I told her about my liking of wearing nappies and was given the response,

She accepted it but did not wanna talk about it or have noting to do with it.

Over the course of a week she started asking questions and assigned me a nickname (Freak)

She made it clear that if we where to have kids then it would have to stop etc etc.

About 4 or so week after that she started going out with her mates a lot more and I said I wanted more of a serious relationship – it ended within a matter of a few days from me saying that so when she moved out.

Now going back to the topic

I am only a DL and enjoy wearing them and would do all the time (let it be) in a relationship I can’t see any problem that can’t stop that being the case has being a DL is not a big deal as its just underware. Longs over areas are not left out and don’t focus 100% on the nappies but continue to where and use, I can’t see a problem.

My ex even said to me, after she found out I had one on while we went shopping at tesco she said, never do that again. (yet I see any harm as not even her knew until she asked while in bed that night talking about stuff etc.

I have had stages in the past where I think No more nappies and bin them all. Only to end up getting more and more only a few months latter again.

[nitrous]

Okay people I don't really pray that much but if you guys do believe in the power of prayer please pray for that ST. of a woman to find herself a real husband who will meat her needs in life and in the bed room. I mean hell we can all admit anyone I mean anyone could be better than that kind of guy. That dush bag is selfish and needs a legal gardian not a girlfriend, maybe a streight jacket.

Also babykacy. you have a tight avatar and display signature, please keep it, its the best one on the site

Finnaly Tigger, your thoughts on what a relationship is and what it should be based on is a true work of genious. I'm glad you and your boy friend (I can't spell the f word I suck at spelling) are getting maried in october, congrats to you two.

[jb345]

Everybody has their needs in life. Just because this Husbands needs are what they are does not mean he is bad. But it does mean he should admit it to his wife and maybe let her try and start over. (Or start trying for her) Just because you are married, or have a kid does not mean you need to be miserable for the rest of your life just because you are married to a certain person or have a kid with that person.

I'm sorry but she has given him an inch when he gives her nothing. I won't say that she isn't being selfish with somethings too.(I can't even begin to say because who knows what really goes on in their life) But I understand from both sides her plight. You want to give everything you have to this person you love, but you NEVER get anything back. Love, regardless of fetish, needs to be two sided (like someone said earlier).

[KrisNdiapers]

I dont know how bad I had to make a comment. I am in a failing mariage that was going down before we got maried and now 5 years and three kids later, I am still confused why we are still married. Present case is we have mariage counseling in two days and right now she is staying the night at her boyfriends house. Eight months ago she refused to devorce me. I am confused!!!!!!!!