24/7 startups, and unexpected pitfalls?

[Little Sherri]

2 hours ago, oznl said:

Heat + Humidity + Diapers = Sucks...

I agree with this, though I have far less reason to complain about it than a lot of you. My wife and I once again discussed downsizing our house at some point once the progeny have left the nest, or maybe to incentivize their departure, with the idea that we might make the house smaller, but the property much larger. There are hamlets that surround our current suburban local where home prices are about the same, but, instead of 200 feet x 50 feet, the lots are measured in acres or large fractions of acres. I would love to spend the hot summer afternoons puttering around in a secluded backyard, wearing an old beer-themed T-shirt and a diaper, beer in one hand, wrench in the other, maybe putting new spark plugs in the ride-on mower that I envision needing. Of course, that will probably end with a paramedic reassuring me that I'm going to be okay, and being very professional in making no mention of my unicorn-themed nappy, while some firefighters prepare to lift the tractor off my broken form, and my wife looks on in disgust, but I'm getting ahead of myself. That's the way to spend those hot days, is my point; not pinned under a tractor, but, wearing just a diaper, for optimal air flow. It's all about skin health, I'll tell my wife. I'm sure her dreams are very similar...

[Little Sherri]

One thing I'm curious about... will I have, by the end of this, developed a skin thick enough to wear a diaper to my martial arts classes again? I've taken to wearing medium-to-large diapers while going about my day with greater ease since I started using compression shorts (I still have to get more of those).

 I wore a diaper to a class a couple of times early on in this experiment, but at the time I couldn't help but obsess over if anyone could tell, or if it would fail catastrophically, or reveal itself somehow. I'm also an instructor, and I found that I was distracted enough that it interrupted my "flow" when teaching a lesson, although I've had no problem doing presentations for work and such, wearing a diaper. I'm doing an online meeting tonight with a group from the gym where we're going to practice some techniques in preparation for attempting more online classes, and I imagine I'll be in a diaper tonight, although it will somewhat upset my schedule, insofar as I've just finished a run, and would normally put on a medium-to-big nappy, and probably wear it until at least mid-day tomorrow, whereas if I wear a diaper under my gi, it would be a slim one. The camera adds 10 lbs, but not directly to your tush. It'll be fine, though - it probably wouldn't survive being worn all the way until morning safely, so I'll put a decent one on right before I go to bed, and probably ride that out until late afternoon tomorrow, which is a nice way to spend a Friday. 

[CuriousAvery]

I have been 24/7  for 5 months now (wow! time flies!). It's been the best thing I've done yet for my mental health. I wish I had done this much sooner. Your discussion @Little Sherri , as well as @oznls, finally inspired me to just go for it and I wanted to add my experience as well.

I should mention that it's a fairly practical 24/7, in that I don't force anything and I'm not specifically aiming to untrain. I wear two ultra capacity ABDL diapers per day. My current favorites are the Tykable waddler designs. I'll change into a fresh diaper at night, wake up dry and then proceed to wear that until mid-afternoon, backed up with some lightweight plastic pants. That mid-afternoon change lasts me until the evening. The practical part, and the reason I'm not actively untraining, is I won't wear when it's highly inconvenient like visiting family, traveling, outdoor activities. However, that's not really happening at the moment.

I don't really use the toilet at all. A significant thing for me, in terms of psychological comfort and acceptance, is messing my diaper. My partner is a wonderful and accepting person and lets me indulge in this. All of this has helped me embrace my desire to wear diapers. I never really understood just how much of significant part of me all of this was. I never really gave littlespace much thought until I slipped into it recently, of which I attribute to wearing 24/7. Now I'm happily ordering onesies, overalls and openly using my pacifier without shame. Something I never imagined I would be interested in when I started this journey.

In terms of my relationship, it's only served to strengthen things with my partner. They have, at times, been in despair over how much I've suffered from shame and self-hatred over my desire to wear diapers. They ultimately wanted me to be happy and I think just wanted me to finally sort it out. They've been supportive of my 24/7 wearing. They have started to enjoy putting me in diapers. There have been a few rough patches. But lots of communication has worked to address any concerns.

I really haven't encountered any serious negatives, other than skin irritation, which I deal with a fairly basic skin routine. The monthly cost is a bit high, but the impact on my mental health makes it more than worth it.

Overall, it's been an absolute improvement to my life. It took wearing 24/7 to really come to terms with everything. I love everything about it. I don't think I'll ever go back to underwear.

[oznl]

1 hour ago, CuriousAvery said:

I have been 24/7  for 5 months now (wow! time flies!). It's been the best thing I've done yet for my mental health. I wish I had done this much sooner. Your discussion @Little Sherri , as well as @oznls, finally inspired me to just go for it and I wanted to add my experience as well.

I should mention that it's a fairly practical 24/7, in that I don't force anything and I'm not specifically aiming to untrain. I wear two ultra capacity ABDL diapers per day. My current favorites are the Tykable waddler designs. I'll change into a fresh diaper at night, wake up dry and then proceed to wear that until mid-afternoon, backed up with some lightweight plastic pants. That mid-afternoon change lasts me until the evening. The practical part, and the reason I'm not actively untraining, is I won't wear when it's highly inconvenient like visiting family, traveling, outdoor activities. However, that's not really happening at the moment.

I don't really use the toilet at all. A significant thing for me, in terms of psychological comfort and acceptance, is messing my diaper. My partner is a wonderful and accepting person and lets me indulge in this, provided I do so in the privacy of my office. All of this has helped me embrace my desire to wear diapers. I never really understood just how much of significant part of me all of this was. I never really gave littlespace much thought until I slipped into it recently, of which I attribute to wearing 24/7. Now I'm happily ordering onesies, overalls and openly using my pacifier without shame. Something I never imagined I would be interested in when I started this journey.

In terms of my relationship, it's only served to strengthen things with my partner. They have, at times, been in despair over how much I've suffered from shame and self-hatred over my desire to wear diapers. They ultimately wanted me to be happy and I think just wanted me to finally sort it out. They've been supportive of my 24/7 wearing. They have started to enjoy putting me in diapers. There have been a few rough patches. But lots of communication has worked to address any concerns.

I really haven't encountered any serious negatives, other than skin irritation, which I deal with a fairly basic skin routine. The monthly cost is a bit high, but the impact on my mental health makes it more than worth it.

Overall, it's been an absolute improvement to my life. It took wearing 24/7 to really come to terms with everything. I love everything about it. I don't think I'll ever go back to underwear.

Congratulations on 5 months.  I think that qualifies you as a player in the 24/7 game.  Partner support would be truly amazing.  I kind of get by with a reluctant partner tolerance ?

Un-training was never on my agenda either but in some ways, it did kind of sneak up on me.  I *think* I'm kind of ok during the day a bit but as you've read my thread, I'm also now a bit of an adult bed wetter.  I'm not sure where @Little Sherri is on this journey.  He may not be sure himself.  That's another thing.  If you permanently wear and use nappies 24/7, you don't really have a clear insight on how continent you really are even when you think you do.

Enjoy the ride.  Keep us posted.  It helps for us to hear from one another and let's us know that although we might be insane, we're at least not alone.

[CuriousAvery]

13 minutes ago, oznl said:

Congratulations on 5 months.  I think that qualifies you as a player in the 24/7 game.  Partner support would be truly amazing.  I kind of get by with a reluctant partner tolerance ?

Un-training was never on my agenda either but in some ways, it did kind of sneak up on me.  I *think* I'm kind of ok during the day a bit but as you've read my thread, I'm also now a bit of an adult bed wetter.  I'm not sure where @Little Sherri is on this journey.  He may not be sure himself.  That's another thing.  If you permanently wear and use nappies 24/7, you don't really have a clear insight on how continent you really are even when you think you do.

Enjoy the ride.  Keep us posted.  It helps for us to hear from one another and let's us know that although we might be insane, we're at least not alone.

Thank you! Your thread provided me with a great deal of inspiration. I know all to well the pain of "tolerance" and I hope things improve for you over time. I definitely count myself as extremely lucky with how supportive my partner is.

As for it sneaking up on you. It's funny you should mention that. If you had asked me even a few weeks ago if I would ever be comfortable with the idea of losing some of my continence, I would have given you a firm "no". As time goes on I and quantify just how much wearing 24/7 improves my overall mental health, I have started to have "I'm not so sure now" thoughts cross my mind. I'm not actively seeking it, but I'm definitely not as concerned about preventing it as I used to be.

[Little Sherri]

12 hours ago, CuriousAvery said:

Overall, it's been an absolute improvement to my life. It took wearing 24/7 to really come to terms with everything. I love everything about it. I don't think I'll ever go back to underwear.

I understand this completely. I'm not saying that it makes any logical sense - how could consistently damp, infantile underwear cause someone to consistently have a better day? It all sounds like such a pain in the ass. But here we are. 

10 hours ago, oznl said:

Un-training was never on my agenda either but in some ways, it did kind of sneak up on me.  I *think* I'm kind of ok during the day a bit but as you've read my thread, I'm also now a bit of an adult bed wetter.  I'm not sure where @Little Sherri is on this journey.  He may not be sure himself.  That's another thing.  If you permanently wear and use nappies 24/7, you don't really have a clear insight on how continent you really are even when you think you do.

It's funny that this came up for discussion right now, @oznl, because I was just going to pop in here and mention something I noticed this morning; I was in an online meeting and got pulled into an issue and got distracted,and didn't think about "down under" (sorry!) for a bit, and then was struck by an urgency that isn't that common for me anymore, so I gave the nod to the system to commence the transfer, however, 15 to 20 minutes later, I became aware of an interesting sensation from that area. I seem to be having intermittent little spurt activity that I am not being appraised of from any internal sensory system; rather, I am aware of it because I can feel it on my skin. The diaper I'm in - a Magnifico - I've had on since last night, and the stuffing at the front has shifted down so that "mini me" is more or less in contact with the inside of the plastic shell, although the diaper is still doing a fine job as far as containment goes. But being in that position, whenever anything comes out, I feel it a bit on the surrounding skin. Having noticed this, I haven't yet "tried" to stop it, because I'm too fascinated with it right now, and I'm wondering when it will stop on its own. This didn't start up by itself, but there does seem to be some autonomous activity occurring now. 

I definitely don't want to un-train myself, because my exercise regimen requires me to go without a diaper for 1 - 2 hours, 2 - 3 days a week. If I ever came across a diaper I could wear while running etc, then maybe I wouldn't worry about it as much. What I would want, if I could design it, would be to be able to completely forget about that functionality, and only take control of it when I need to, sort of like setting up an automated sprinkler system for the lawn. Could I turn it on or off at will? Yes. Would I do that very often? No. I'm not sure if that's possible, or if the Devil's bargain is what other people have described here, either as an aspiration, or as a consequence, of living a diapered life: eventual succession of control. I don't have any clear evidence after a year and two months in diapers that I'm headed that way. Although I'm still dribbling here right now. 

As for wetting the bed, I'm not sure if wearing diapers at night has increased its likelihood or not. I'm further ahead in wearing diapers to bed than 24/7 - I've probably been sleeping in a nappy for close to 2.5 years. In that time, I have wet the bed (or rather, the diaper) maybe 6 - 8 times where I have no recollection of letting it happen. But I'm not sure if putting myself in diapers has increased the incidence of that or not - I put myself back into diapers overnight in the first place partly because of a couple of embarrassing incidents, which I decided I could lean into if I had to, although as we all know here, I also just wanted to wear them.  ( @CuriousAvery, to quickly recap my history, when I was a kid, I was an accomplished bedwetter, and I wore diapers to bed for a long time, which my wife knew about). So, what we have here is a question about if correlation equals causation. Did a couple of incidents (and some psychic hangovers from childhood) cause me to wear diapers, which then caused me to have more incidents? Or would I be having more incidents even if I abhorred diapers, and slept in the bathtub every night, instead? The way to find out would be to cut out the diapers, but I don't know how on earth I would sleep without a diaper on now - I'd be waking up every hour, I suspect. So this is an experiment that I have no interest in conducting. 

[DL-Boy]

2 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

I definitely don't want to un-train myself, because my exercise regimen requires me to go without a diaper for 1 - 2 hours, 2 - 3 days a week. If I ever came across a diaper I could wear while running etc, then maybe I wouldn't worry about it as much. What I would want, if I could design it, would be to be able to completely forget about that functionality, and only take control of it when I need to, sort of like setting up an automated sprinkler system for the lawn. Could I turn it on or off at will? Yes. Would I do that very often? No. I'm not sure if that's possible, or if the Devil's bargain is what other people have described here, either as an aspiration, or as a consequence, of living a diapered life: eventual succession of control. I don't have any clear evidence after a year and two months in diapers that I'm headed that way. Although I'm still dribbling here right now.

Here's a possible answer to losing continence but still being active:

[Little Sherri]

Innovative, @DL-Boy, definitely innovative. But I'm not sure I want to find myself googling "penile gangrene treatment" after a particularly long running session... I think I'll forgo incontinence rather than resort to a clamp. But I thank you for passing this on. 

[oznl]

11 hours ago, DL-Boy said:

Here's a possible answer to losing continence but still being active:

So does your definition of "being active" include thrashing around on the ground screaming in agony? ?

13 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

 something I noticed this morning; I was in an online meeting and got pulled into an issue and got distracted,and didn't think about "down under" (sorry!) for a bit, and then was struck by an urgency that isn't that common for me anymore, so I gave the nod to the system to commence the transfer, however, 15 to 20 minutes later, I became aware of an interesting sensation from that area. I seem to be having intermittent little spurt activity that I am not being appraised of from any internal sensory system; rather, I am aware of it because I can feel it on my skin. The diaper I'm in - a Magnifico - I've had on since last night, and the stuffing at the front has shifted down so that "mini me" is more or less in contact with the inside of the plastic shell, although the diaper is still doing a fine job as far as containment goes. But being in that position, whenever anything comes out, I feel it a bit on the surrounding skin. Having noticed this, I haven't yet "tried" to stop it, because I'm too fascinated with it right now, and I'm wondering when it will stop on its own. This didn't start up by itself, but there does seem to be some autonomous activity occurring now.

I've had this happen a few times here and there.  I've usually put it down to a kinked urethra eventually resolving itself or some kind of haptic illusion (I've had the experience laying in bed in wet Molicares that they can mysteriously replay faint sensory echoes of a previous wetting as they sort themselves out).  But (and this is my point), I don't really know...

[Little Sherri]

Well I have the house to myself this morning, which is rare these days. My family are doing a responsible, socially-distanced grocery drop off at my in-laws, and they plan to do a picnic in their yard from 10 feet apart. So I get to keep my pacifier clipped on and I'm in a cute onesie, but I'm not, however, in a big diaper, because I have someone coming later to troubleshoot a problem with my irrigation system, and while I can throw on some shorts and a golf shirt and quickly cover up this getup, if I had a Barnyard or Safari on, at what would be, by that point, probably past the 50% saturation mark, I'm not sure how invisible it would be as we pace out my yard and squat over holes. 

We did a hike in a local conservation area yesterday, and I had a medium-duty Rearz Lil' Monster on while clambering over rock formations and such. It was really nice to be out in the world and taking in some unfamiliar scenery, and of course, it was damned convenient to do it with a diaper on, because rather than taking on the liability of sanitizing the bathroom facilities at these parks, they've simply decided to shutter them all, and warn visitors that washroom facilities are no longer available. So, the woods become the facilities, I guess - I can't see how families with young kids are going to be able to spend hours hiking about with no options for relief. I was grateful for having the option to wear a diaper. 

I'm also happy to report that after spending a couple of months sealed in a Zip-Lock bag with some baking powder, and then getting another run through the wash, my newest, printed plastic pants have finally decided to part ways with the ammonia scent that had plagued them for a long time after the last time I wore them. To recap that briefly, this was in the "before times", when my kids went to school during the day, and one night, I decided to test out what my spouse would make of the print I'd chosen, a medium blue festooned with pictures of babies, so I put on a cloth diaper, and the plastic pants, and they garnered no comment. I wore them that night, and went straight into my office the next day, where I marinated in them until at least mid-afternoon, when they were sagging almost down to my knees, and I needed to put something more discrete on. The diaper already smelled of wee when I woke up, and that didn't improve throughout the day, so when I took it off, it had quite a funk about it. I gave the diaper and the plastic pants a through rinse, and then put them into the wash and ran it straight away. The diaper itself emerged smelling spring fresh, but the plastic pants still had an eye-watering stench to them that sent me here asking for advice. I tried vinegar, I tried baking powder, I tried soaking them in detergent, all to no avail. I did not try one of those enzymatic cleaners - I still mean to get myself some of that, as an aside. The whole episode put me off cloth diapers, and I haven't worn one since then. 

Maybe I'll do a night in cloth this week, but skip the part where I stay in the same diaper until late the next day. 

[oznl]

19 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

The diaper itself emerged smelling spring fresh, but the plastic pants still had an eye-watering stench to them that sent me here asking for advice. I tried vinegar, I tried baking powder, I tried soaking them in detergent, all to no avail. I did not try one of those enzymatic cleaners - I still mean to get myself some of that, as an aside. The whole episode put me off cloth diapers, and I haven't worn one since then.

Odd...  The complete opposite of what has been my experience.  I've certainly see cloth diapers build up (over time) that residue whereby they insta-stink once wet, a problem I can temporarily resolve by a boil.  The high temperature seem to break something down as the water ends up foamy and grey whilst the diapers end up fresh again.  Plastic pants, way less of a problem.  Generally a good rinse or a light run through the machine and all is well.  I wonder if there was exposed fabric on the elastics or, if encased elastics, somehow pee had gotten inside there to hide.

19 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

Maybe I'll do a night in cloth this week, but skip the part where I stay in the same diaper until late the next day. 

Yes.  You should get away with a night.  You will smell slightly of pee in the morning but only slightly, like a baby.

I was looking at my own ageing Babykins pull-on cloth.  I actually found a local supplier who had "Rearz Omutsu" cloth on his website at prices that were reasonably related to their original C$ prices.  They looked suitably absorbent and quite comfortable.  A huge challenge was that they all had some kind of print which would trigger a new domestic battlefront.  For A$44.95, i thought the "Penguins" were kind of cute and I got my Paypal to the ready.  Perhaps I could sneak them in after dark and find some other way of line-drying them during the day.

Sigh...  Bit of a trap on that vendor's website.  No stock.  Any colour, any size, no stock...  Look but no buy.   If my "BetterDry" experience is any template, they might reappear in some months at radically higher "COVID-19" prices.

[DL-Boy]

8 hours ago, oznl said:

Odd...  The complete opposite of what has been my experience.  I've certainly see cloth diapers build up (over time) that residue whereby they insta-stink once wet, a problem I can temporarily resolve by a boil.  The high temperature seem to break something down as the water ends up foamy and grey whilst the diapers end up fresh again.  Plastic pants, way less of a problem.  Generally a good rinse or a light run through the machine and all is well.  I wonder if there was exposed fabric on the elastics or, if encased elastics, somehow pee had gotten inside there to hide.

I have an Electrolux front load washer that has a SANITIZE mode that actually takes the HOT TAP water and heats it hotter, something like 190 degrees F.  It takes a while longer on sanitize over the hot cycle because it has to heat the water, but it may be close enough to boiling temperature to accomplish the same thing.

[oznl]

4 hours ago, DL-Boy said:

I have an Electrolux front load washer that has a SANITIZE mode that actually takes the HOT TAP water and heats it hotter, something like 190 degrees F.  It takes a while longer on sanitize over the hot cycle because it has to heat the water, but it may be close enough to boiling temperature to accomplish the same thing.

That would be fantastic.  Australia (a bit like the UK) is a rampant "nanny-state".  For our own safety, the Government has mandated tempering valves to hot water services that limit the temperature to 50C.  I'm surprised we are allowed to have scissors here honestly.  That, and a conventional "top loader" washing machine (no heater, simply uses available reticulated hot water) makes me suspect that the actual wash temperature would be considerably lower than 50C (considering heat losses in piping and the thermal mass of the machine itself).

This might be fine for clothing but not enough for cloth nappies.

When this machine dies, I might look to see if I can see a front loader that has an on-board heater and something resembling a "sanitize cycle".

[Little Sherri]

On 6/2/2020 at 8:21 AM, oznl said:

  I wonder if there was exposed fabric on the elastics or, if encased elastics, somehow pee had gotten inside there to hide.

It's odd - it's actually the vinyl itself that carried the scent, not the elastics.

18 hours ago, DL-Boy said:

I have an Electrolux front load washer that has a SANITIZE mode that actually takes the HOT TAP water and heats it hotter, something like 190 degrees F.  It takes a while longer on sanitize over the hot cycle because it has to heat the water, but it may be close enough to boiling temperature to accomplish the same thing.

My machine offers this as well, but I haven't had to use this feature on diapers so far. But then again I only wear cloth diapers very infrequently, so maybe if I were in them more often, they would be picking up more scent memories. 

I hit an interesting wall this morning. We had a death in the family yesterday; not in my immediate household, but someone we were very close to. This was not unexpected, but was still a blow when it occurred, and, along with notices from work that they are contemplating "aligning staffing with demand" (which has fallen markedly), and overall pandemic fatigue in general, the wind is just out of my sails right now. I wore a diaper to bed last night, because I wouldn't dare not to, but it being a Barnyard, IE, big and fairly loud, I had no enthusiasm for trying to keep it camouflaged this morning, and just tossed it even though it was barely wet. I have one of my slim daytime diapers on right now, a Prevail 360, but I had to force myself to put it on. I'm not sure why my psyche had gone this way; usually, I find diapers to be a refuge, not a chore, when I'm not in the best mood. I think the passing of someone relatively young tends to make one dwell on existential questions about making the most out of one's time, and how life passes so quickly, etc. I'm having a hard time engaging with work today as well. But, I'm pushing through it. Perhaps I'll go for a good run over lunch, and maybe I'll be in a better mood for selecting a diaper after that. If there is one lesson to be taken from all of this, it is that life is short, and you should, first of all, do no harm, and, with that in mind, live as much on your own terms as you can. 

[DL-Boy]

@Little Sherri, I'm sorry for your loss.  Hope you get to better spirits soon.

[Luvs24]

3 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

It's odd - it's actually the vinyl itself that carried the scent, not the elastics.

My machine offers this as well, but I haven't had to use this feature on diapers so far. But then again I only wear cloth diapers very infrequently, so maybe if I were in them more often, they would be picking up more scent memories. 

I hit an interesting wall this morning. We had a death in the family yesterday; not in my immediate household, but someone we were very close to. This was not unexpected, but was still a blow when it occurred, and, along with notices from work that they are contemplating "aligning staffing with demand" (which has fallen markedly), and overall pandemic fatigue in general, the wind is just out of my sails right now. I wore a diaper to bed last night, because I wouldn't dare not to, but it being a Barnyard, IE, big and fairly loud, I had no enthusiasm for trying to keep it camouflaged this morning, and just tossed it even though it was barely wet. I have one of my slim daytime diapers on right now, a Prevail 360, but I had to force myself to put it on. I'm not sure why my psyche had gone this way; usually, I find diapers to be a refuge, not a chore, when I'm not in the best mood. I think the passing of someone relatively young tends to make one dwell on existential questions about making the most out of one's time, and how life passes so quickly, etc. I'm having a hard time engaging with work today as well. But, I'm pushing through it. Perhaps I'll go for a good run over lunch, and maybe I'll be in a better mood for selecting a diaper after that. If there is one lesson to be taken from all of this, it is that life is short, and you should, first of all, do no harm, and, with that in mind, live as much on your own terms as you can. 

I'm so sorry for your loss, and God bless you.

[oznl]

13 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

I hit an interesting wall this morning. We had a death in the family yesterday; not in my immediate household, but someone we were very close to. This was not unexpected, but was still a blow when it occurred, and, along with notices from work that they are contemplating "aligning staffing with demand" (which has fallen markedly), and overall pandemic fatigue in general, the wind is just out of my sails right now. I wore a diaper to bed last night, because I wouldn't dare not to, but it being a Barnyard, IE, big and fairly loud, I had no enthusiasm for trying to keep it camouflaged this morning, and just tossed it even though it was barely wet. I have one of my slim daytime diapers on right now, a Prevail 360, but I had to force myself to put it on. I'm not sure why my psyche had gone this way; usually, I find diapers to be a refuge, not a chore, when I'm not in the best mood. I think the passing of someone relatively young tends to make one dwell on existential questions about making the most out of one's time, and how life passes so quickly, etc. I'm having a hard time engaging with work today as well. But, I'm pushing through it. Perhaps I'll go for a good run over lunch, and maybe I'll be in a better mood for selecting a diaper after that. If there is one lesson to be taken from all of this, it is that life is short, and you should, first of all, do no harm, and, with that in mind, live as much on your own terms as you can. 

In a sense we’re having THREE pandemics: biological, economic and psychological.  It looks like you’re confronting all of them right now.

I can relate to your employment insecurity.  For the traditional male breadwinner, this is a mentally corrosive influence and a negative outcome can be traumatically demoralising for some.

I was forced to “apply” for my own job some weeks back and I’ve still no idea if I got it or it’s mysteriously going to a low-wage country somewhere in Asia as part of an Orwellian-sounding "digitisation" of the workforce.  I might know by the end of the month, I might not…  I think this is a part of my current terrible sleeping issues. I guess an upside here is that if your profile age is even roughly correct, you will have a shot at another job when they reappear.  I'm over 55... No chance in my industry...

Sorry to hear about a death in the extended family.  Hopefully that state of restrictions is such that something resembling the usual ceremonies and communal reflection that helps us process these reminders that we are all mortal.

I “did” a funeral for a friend back in November.  I didn’t mention it at the time but it did make me think a bit.  It was a friend and he was nearly exactly my age.  The “Big C” got him.  So, it’s not surprising to me if all of this didn’t cause pause for reflection. 

There’s been a few times on this journey where re-diapering myself was duty, not pleasure.  I think the only thing I could share was that I tried to take a long term view.  If I was happier diapered for 100 days, I should probably take a few days here and there less happy as just being some rough with the smooth.  I’m not saying that nothing would make me give up being diapered but I’d be very wary about reading too much into a day or two here or there of less-than-beatific-happiness.

[Little Sherri]

10 hours ago, oznl said:

There’s been a few times on this journey where re-diapering myself was duty, not pleasure.  I think the only thing I could share was that I tried to take a long term view.  If I was happier diapered for 100 days, I should probably take a few days here and there less happy as just being some rough with the smooth.  I’m not saying that nothing would make me give up being diapered but I’d be very wary about reading too much into a day or two here or there of less-than-beatific-happiness.

It was the big "C" that got her, far too young. Unfortunately the state of lock down we are still enduring precludes the option for a ceremony or even visiting - these events transpired on the other side of the country. Canada, like Australia, is WIDE. I briefly thought about striking out in my car, but it's a 4600 km drive, if I stayed inside Canada - you can lop off about 500 km by driving through the US, but that's not an option right now, and I wouldn't even if I could. I'd probably have to self-isolate once I got there as well. It's just too arduous and impractical to contemplate. Are the roadside motels open? Where would I stay once I got there? What is the lethal dose of drive-through fast food? 

I agree with what you said above, @oznl. It would be like quitting a job because of a couple of bad days in an otherwise enjoyable year. Whatever rules I'm following are strictly of my own devising, and if I felt like I'd be "cheating" if I took a day off, then, since I'm the only judge, I guess the judge has ruled. Diapered I stayed, and diapered I remain. 

A side note to this is that I spent some time with my parents, and had some long conversations with my mom, socially-distanced from chairs across a room. I mused about the drive mentioned above, and my mom wholeheartedly agreed with my assessment that it wouldn't be a good idea, wouldn't be heroic, and would probably cost me vast amounts of money and time. The conversation then came around to many of the long drives we made as a family when I was younger; we rarely flew anywhere, maybe only 5 or 6 times in 18 years. It was much less expensive to pile all of us into whatever the larger car was, and strike out for the coast, or for Florida or South Carolina. Early on, that meant vinyl seats and no A/C; later years brought us cloth seats and conditioned air (blue with cigarette smoke, though). 

I tend to avoid talking about diapers a lot with my mom, because, well, she's my mom, and while this "thing" isn't terribly "sexual" for me, it falls under the rubric of a "fetish", and it's weird to delve into fetishes with one's mom. Unless that's your thing... (I'm sure it must be in some distant corner on Fetlife). Anyway, that said, I have asked her a few questions here and there, delicately and infrequently, such as how frequently she employed cloth diapers (very infrequently, she says, though based on my recollection I had thought it was maybe 1/4 of the time), or how many times they tried to get me out of nighttime diapers (frequently).

This time, I asked if I generally would have worn a diaper when we went on those trips, and she said that it depended on if it seemed likely that I'd fall asleep in the car. I asked if I ever objected to being asked to wear one, and she said that most of the time, I didn't (not surprised by that...), and then she brought up something that I more or less have no memory of - she said that she negotiated a truce by suggesting that I wear underwear over the diaper, and that she bought me some over-sized boxer shorts so that I always felt my diaper was covered. I actually do remember those boxers - they were different colours of plaid, and I used to wear them as shorts sometimes around the house because of their size and the fact that they lacked the useless-but-obligatory opening on the front that most men's and boy's underwear have. They didn't look like underwear, and who knows, maybe they were pajama shorts or something. But I didn't realize when she bought them that their intended purpose was to help disguise my diaper. I was actually rather touched by that, in a strange way, because, as I've said here before, my recollection of my parents' approach to my continued reliance on baby's underclothes was that they were eminently practical, never scorning or shaming, but also not particularly discreet or sympathetic to my ongoing concerns about the many opportunities for potential humiliation that wearing diapers presented. It turns out that she did hear me, and she did try to help. 

[DL-Boy]

3 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

I tend to avoid talking about diapers a lot with my mom, because, well, she's my mom, and while this "thing" isn't terribly "sexual" for me, it falls under the rubric of a "fetish", and it's weird to delve into fetishes with one's mom. Unless that's your thing... (I'm sure it must be in some distant corner on Fetlife). Anyway, that said, I have asked her a few questions here and there, delicately and infrequently, such as how frequently she employed cloth diapers (very infrequently, she says, though based on my recollection I had thought it was maybe 1/4 of the time), or how many times they tried to get me out of nighttime diapers (frequently).

Not too distant of a corner...  That's the main reason I joined FetLife, to keep up with our local ABDL Munches and Littles Nights and such at the local BDSM dungeon.

[oznl]

13 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

It was the big "C" that got her, far too young. Unfortunately the state of lock down we are still enduring precludes the option for a ceremony or even visiting - these events transpired on the other side of the country. Canada, like Australia, is WIDE. I briefly thought about striking out in my car, but it's a 4600 km drive, if I stayed inside Canada - you can lop off about 500 km by driving through the US, but that's not an option right now, and I wouldn't even if I could. I'd probably have to self-isolate once I got there as well. It's just too arduous and impractical to contemplate. Are the roadside motels open? Where would I stay once I got there? What is the lethal dose of drive-through fast food?

Yep.  That's a tough one.   I went through this thought experiment:  An ageing parent had a fairly significant health scare early on in our lock down.  There were no flights and it would be an 1800km drive but I couldn't go there by ANY means as I would not have been allowed to cross the border back into my home state.  I could probably get there but I could not get home and may not have been in the "top 5" for the funeral anyway.  If the worst had happened, any funeral was limited to 5 attendees (I think it's up to 10 now).

Recovery happened so this never arose.  If she died tomorrow, I could GET down south but I STILL could not come home easily.

Some of the controls here got so mad that aged, terminally ill spouses literally died in nursing homes whilst their partners were prevented from seeing them in case they gave their dying partner COVID-19.

What a weird time.

[Little Sherri]

Well, I distracted myself from the above via spending the weekend helping a friend pressure wash and refinish a deck, which, as an aside, sounds like a lot of fun out of the gate, but becomes a chore within an hour, and then forced labour within about five hours. There was a lot of beer, though. Because of the continuing concerns over the pandemic, we've taken to socially-distancing in each other's yards, chairs spaced 8 feet apart in the fresh air, and we wore masks when working required us to be closer together. We also try to avoid going into each others houses to use the washroom, and in that category, I am a superstar. I did have to practice some control over fluid consumption, though, because working sometimes fairly close to my buddies, I wasn't 100% confident that a big puffy nappy would go unnoticed, so I wore my slim daytime diapers, BUT, with nowhere to discretely change them, they only bought me a bit of relief. However, working outside in the heat did its usual trick of dramatically reducing my output in that area, and, because I spent a good part of the day pressure washing either the deck or the fencing, my shorts were wet anyway. On top of that, we'd all brought our own chairs, because my friend's lovely outdoor set was under a tarp, so, there weren't even any ethical concerns about if the dampness of my shorts was entirely due to blow-black from the spraying, that might have arisen within me if I were planning on planting my damp midsection onto someone else's property. 

Because I knew I was going to be spending the days in slim diapers, I also wore slim diapers to bed, since my nighttime diaper would inevitably be discarded once I changed to leave the house, so there was no point tossing an 18-hour diaper with 10 hours of life left in it. All of which has be very happily taped into a Crinklz - essentially a cuter BetterDry - right now. I wore this one to bed last night, but it still probably has 75% of its capacity remaining, so I could conceivably be in it until dinner. 

I have another diaper-related dream to report on from last night; these seem to happening more frequently than they used to - diapers essentially never played a role in my dreaming beyond about a year ago. The fact that I almost never recall my dreams, and that now, practically 100% of the ones I do recall are about diapers - although this still only occurs every couple of months or so - makes me wonder if a lot of the dreams I don't recall also have diapers in them. Am I wearing diapers in my dreams now? As a background feature, almost like the sky tends to be up, gravity tends to function like it normally does, etc? Anyway, in this dream, I vividly recall that I needed to go #2 - something that in real life, I basically never do in my diaper. Not that it's never happened, but it's not par for my course,;it's too much work, and I also believe that it would push my spouse over the edge. But in this dream, I needed to go, had a thought along the lines of "well, I've got a diaper on", did some quick calculations that I wasn't going to be in a confined space with anyone in the near future, so I went ahead and did it. Although lacking in granular details such as where I was, what I was doing, or who I was with, the dream was so vivid and realistic that when I awoke from it, I raised my head in brief horror, and focused intently on my diaper... had I...? A shifting in position and some cautious leg movements strongly suggested that, no, I hadn't, for which I was relieved, mentally if not physically, because doing that under the covers would definitely be viewed as a violation of our covenant, and so would taking a 20 minute shower at 3 AM. 

But when my alarm summoned me to start the day, and I got out of bed, I still ran a systems check during my first couple of strides, just to be absolutely certain that nothing but slightly damp stuffing was suspended below. That's how vivid my dream was. 

[oznl]

14 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

I have another diaper-related dream to report on from last night; these seem to happening more frequently than they used to - diapers essentially never played a role in my dreaming beyond about a year ago. The fact that I almost never recall my dreams, and that now, practically 100% of the ones I do recall are about diapers - although this still only occurs every couple of months or so - makes me wonder if a lot of the dreams I don't recall also have diapers in them. Am I wearing diapers in my dreams now? As a background feature, almost like the sky tends to be up, gravity tends to function like it normally does, etc? Anyway, in this dream, I vividly recall that I needed to go #2 - something that in real life, I basically never do in my diaper. Not that it's never happened, but it's not par for my course,;it's too much work, and I also believe that it would push my spouse over the edge. But in this dream, I needed to go, had a thought along the lines of "well, I've got a diaper on", did some quick calculations that I wasn't going to be in a confined space with anyone in the near future, so I went ahead and did it. Although lacking in granular details such as where I was, what I was doing, or who I was with, the dream was so vivid and realistic that when I awoke from it, I raised my head in brief horror, and focused intently on my diaper... had I...? A shifting in position and some cautious leg movements strongly suggested that, no, I hadn't, for which I was relieved, mentally if not physically, because doing that under the covers would definitely be viewed as a violation of our covenant, and so would taking a 20 minute shower at 3 AM. 

But when my alarm summoned me to start the day, and I got out of bed, I still ran a systems check during my first couple of strides, just to be absolutely certain that nothing but slightly damp stuffing was suspended below. That's how vivid my dream was. 

I was reading an article the other day by a psychologist that spoke about a recent, collective prevalence of “vivid dreams” and how this was thought to be a psychological response to the low-level anxiety that has been pervasive in pandemic conditions.  I guess this must be considered as a factor but I’m more inclined to believe that people like us are a special case.

“Diaper Dreams” were certainly a big thing early on in my 24/7 experience and seemed to revolve around the general “OMG! I wear nappies!” genre, celebrating the general nappy user-experience.

This kind of dream decreased in frequency and morphed over time as wet diapers became normalised.  After that first phase, diapers were often THERE in my dreams but weren’t usually to TOPIC of those dreams.  They were just a thing like, as you say, sky and gravity.

As things moved on there were “pee dreams” for a while.  I suspect that these were a thing whilst I was slowly subconsciously being patterned that it was now ok to pee in my bed during the night.  These dreams too faded although discovering that I was in curiously sodden night nappies the next morning remained a thing (important life lesson: if you’re using diapers 24/7 and you do NOT want to become a bedwetter, consider the “pee dream” as your STOP sign).

An unusual diaper experience will still trigger a diaper dream for me.  Sleeping in a loaded diaper is quite rare for me and I’ve noticed that any time that DOES happen, there is almost always some kind of thematically-related dream.  I suspect if I did it all the time those dreams would fade and I would be a divorcee.

The solitary diaper dream theme that seems to have survived thus far is to do with catastrophic diaper failure/disclosure whilst out and about.  Perhaps this is a fear that looms larger in my subconscious than I give credit for.

I guess a clue might be derived by reviewing what your thoughts and feelings were whilst you were dream-loading your underwear (if you can remember).  It might have been a memo from your own mental basement.

[BlakeJordan]

I was reading an article the other day by a psychologist that spoke about a recent, collective prevalence of “vivid dreams” and how this was thought to be a psychological response to the low-level anxiety that has been pervasive in pandemic conditions.  I guess this must be considered as a factor but I’m more inclined to believe that people like us are a special case.

“Diaper Dreams” were certainly a big thing early on in my 24/7 experience and seemed to revolve around the general “OMG! I wear nappies!” genre, celebrating the general nappy user-experience.

This kind of dream decreased in frequency and morphed over time as wet diapers became normalised.  After that first phase, diapers were often THERE in my dreams but weren’t usually to TOPIC of those dreams.  They were just a thing like, as you say, sky and gravity.

As things moved on there were “pee dreams” for a while.  I suspect that these were a thing whilst I was slowly subconsciously being patterned that it was now ok to pee in my bed during the night.  These dreams too faded although discovering that I was in curiously sodden night nappies the next morning remained a thing (important life lesson: if you’re using diapers 24/7 and you do NOT want to become a bedwetter, consider the “pee dream” as your STOP sign).

An unusual diaper experience will still trigger a diaper dream for me.  Sleeping in a loaded diaper is quite rare for me and I’ve noticed that any time that DOES happen, there is almost always some kind of thematically-related dream.  I suspect if I did it all the time those dreams would fade and I would be a divorcee.

The solitary diaper dream theme that seems to have survived thus far is to do with catastrophic diaper failure/disclosure whilst out and about.  Perhaps this is a fear that looms larger in my subconscious than I give credit for.

I guess a clue might be derived by reviewing what your thoughts and feelings were whilst you were dream-loading your underwear (if you can remember).  It might have been a memo from your own mental basement.

I can certainly vouch for all of the above. I know when my work habits changed with the pandemic so did my bladder patterns. I found myself oddly flooding more, which I chop up to not moving from the desk so much.

I certainly have seen various incarnations of the catastrophic leak/exposure. Maybe it’s the underlying anxiety thick in the air, or maybe it’s the anxiety that has come with decreased awareness of what is going on down there, and not really caring?

It does seem like there’s very little emotional energy to spend on if I happen to have a slight leak right now or not. This in and of itself is a milestone that I think has finally come and gone, leading to that snowball effect I bring up ever so often.

It’s funny you mention the repatterning; it was just a couple days ago where I had an extremely vivid dream where I was forced to stay in a group sleeping, and changing environment; ie bunks and locker room. Found myself not so much being embarrassed as not having an extra nappy to change into, and even if I did, not having much privacy nor the desire to put this burden on such a large group.

Maybe this is the next level of acceptance. The mind attempting to come to terms that I need to become comfortable with the fact that there are going to be unexpected events, circumstances, and places that I end up and I have to just deal?

This black swan of a pandemic has refocused that reality. It’s not really foreign to me, just not something I visit often. In the past it’s been the fear of not having meds for or being able to have a keto diet for my drug resistant epilepsy. The second wave hit when I transitioned, knowing I would be dependent on hormones that were external. Now it’s again back in force, pushing the relentless reality front and center; one more external thing I’m dependent on.

I’m not sure that this type of dream or manifestation of anxiety would have come to pass had I not been this far in my journey, either earlier or later. Hell, I’m still coming to terms that this incontinence is a mix of my own attempts previously, and the weird manifestation and domino effect my tbi and epilepsy has had on my body, including body wide nerve damage, autonomic dysfunction, a neurogenic bladder and so many others. Yeah I may have been able to hold it off for another year or three, but at this point I’m fairly confident that I would have ended up here eventually.

Maybe I would not be having these dreams or anxiety right now, but then again, maybe what would have taken its place would have been much much worse. Perhaps the reframe comes that even in those dreams, the diaper makes me feel somewhat more safe, and it’s simply a puzzle to be solved.

And who knows where I would have been in a few years from now. At least right now as I tumble down the rabbit hole, I have the time and space to become oriented, to solve these puzzles in a safe manner, to catch my breath. No guarantees it would have been any lees stressful in 1-3 years.

In any case you’re not alone and I think whether it’s diapers or other stuff, everyone is experiencing some manifestation. In my opinion the manifestation is confronting the limitations of our control and ability to plan for, predict, and mitigate a future that only a few months ago was so clear, and now is like a black highway at night...

[Little Sherri]

10 hours ago, oznl said:

The solitary diaper dream theme that seems to have survived thus far is to do with catastrophic diaper failure/disclosure whilst out and about.  Perhaps this is a fear that looms larger in my subconscious than I give credit for.

This is definitely the case for me. Practically all of my diaper dreams have been about my being away from the safety of home base, usually in my car, but occasionally in a public space, and I'm wearing just a diaper below the waist, something which, as an aside, has basically never happened - I've never ventured away from the house without something on over my diaper. The dream then forces me to expose myself for some good reason or other - once it was to retrieve a dog that had escaped from my car, once it was because I had to make sure I wasn't going to back over children - and I'm forced into a "Come to Jesus" moment where I have to give in to the prevalent circumstances and do the needful. I simply can't let the dog I'm babysitting escape across a busy parking lot, I simply can't reverse the car without checking behind it (even though in reality by car has a camera for that purpose...), etc. The one exception to that was when I went to city hall, in my dream, and seemed perfectly fine with walking about in a diaper, until I ran into my uncle, and suddenly made a dash for the door. 

I agree with both you, @oznl, and @BlakeJordan, that this constant hum of low-level pandemic anxiety probably has stoked the fires of my subconscious a bit. I'm also drinking a bit more than I used to, everyday having the feel of a Friday right now. It hasn't become problematic, but whereas I generally only imbibed on the weekend - not out of any moral objection to it, but just because of the caloric toll - now, there might be a Wednesday night one-that-turns-to-three event here and there. But given my preference for beers North of the 7% mark, three is a commitment. Or, I open a bottle of red, my wife has one glass, and I have the rest over the course of the evening. 

Speaking of my betrothed, she has been asking me for ideas for Father's Day gifts, and I think she's picturing something that falls under the category of brewing equipment, but, Rearz just launched their "Alpaca" diapers... hmmm... dare I suggest it? But, no. She's envisioning something that her and the girls can wrap up for me, and a case of printed diapers would not qualify. 

As an aside, she made a rather direct reference to my diapered status this morning; I had just finished my coffee-and-paper morning routine, and the next phase is always my trip to the loo, where I evaluate the fate of my overnight diaper, and spend some quality time with whatever science or automotive-themed magazine I have in there. Humans are creatures of habit, and I have witnessed this irrational behaviour in every member of my family - we all like to use whatever bathroom we like to use, which means that my daughters frequently squabble over their bathroom, and my wife and I both retreat to the one in our bedroom. Leaving two other bathrooms to collect dust. However, this morning, my wife had an appointment to get to, so when I plucked the business section from the paper and headed off for the stairs, she said "Hey, diaper boy, I need that washroom for a few minutes." The implication being that, clearly, I'm in a better position to wait than she is, which is unarguably true, although, as we've discussed before, I don't push my diapers into "that" service terribly often. 

In other related "news", the stores have all been open for a couple of weeks now, and the rush back has subsided, so people faced with entry lines that meander around the parking lot in the baking midday sun are now behaving rationally, IE, deciding that maybe they don't need a new barbecue scraper that badly. All of which means that I will probably go meandering through a super store in the next couple of days, and try and stock up on a couple of compression garments, to see if I can manage to wear bigger nappies under a wider range of circumstances with more confidence. I just have to work on devising a cover story, in case I run into one of my wife's friends, and I need to explain why I'm in the lingerie department, perusing items that would clearly be too large for her. Maybe I should ask my wife to get me THESE for Father's Day. I wonder if requesting women's underwear would go over better or worse than requesting a case of giant printed nappies....

 

[BlakeJordan]

This is definitely the case for me. Practically all of my diaper dreams have been about my being away from the safety of home base, usually in my car, but occasionally in a public space, and I'm wearing just a diaper below the waist, something which, as an aside, has basically never happened - I've never ventured away from the house without something on over my diaper. The dream then forces me to expose myself for some good reason or other - once it was to retrieve a dog that had escaped from my car, once it was because I had to make sure I wasn't going to back over children - and I'm forced into a "Come to Jesus" moment where I have to give in to the prevalent circumstances and do the needful. I simply can't let the dog I'm babysitting escape across a busy parking lot, I simply can't reverse the car without checking behind it (even though in reality by car has a camera for that purpose...), etc. The one exception to that was when I went to city hall, in my dream, and seemed perfectly fine with walking about in a diaper, until I ran into my uncle, and suddenly made a dash for the door. 
I agree with both you, [mention=18701]oznl[/mention], and [mention=16278]BlakeJordan[/mention], that this constant hum of low-level pandemic anxiety probably has stoked the fires of my subconscious a bit. I'm also drinking a bit more than I used to, everyday having the feel of a Friday right now. It hasn't become problematic, but whereas I generally only imbibed on the weekend - not out of any moral objection to it, but just because of the caloric toll - now, there might be a Wednesday night one-that-turns-to-three event here and there. But given my preference for beers North of the 7% mark, three is a commitment. Or, I open a bottle of red, my wife has one glass, and I have the rest over the course of the evening. 
Speaking of my betrothed, she has been asking me for ideas for Father's Day gifts, and I think she's picturing something that falls under the category of brewing equipment, but, Rearz just launched their "Alpaca" diapers... hmmm... dare I suggest it? But, no. She's envisioning something that her and the girls can wrap up for me, and a case of printed diapers would not qualify. 
As an aside, she made a rather direct reference to my diapered status this morning; I had just finished my coffee-and-paper morning routine, and the next phase is always my trip to the loo, where I evaluate the fate of my overnight diaper, and spend some quality time with whatever science or automotive-themed magazine I have in there. Humans are creatures of habit, and I have witnessed this irrational behaviour in every member of my family - we all like to use whatever bathroom we like to use, which means that my daughters frequently squabble over their bathroom, and my wife and I both retreat to the one in our bedroom. Leaving two other bathrooms to collect dust. However, this morning, my wife had an appointment to get to, so when I plucked the business section from the paper and headed off for the stairs, she said "Hey, diaper boy, I need that washroom for a few minutes." The implication being that, clearly, I'm in a better position to wait than she is, which is unarguably true, although, as we've discussed before, I don't push my diapers into "that" service terribly often. 
In other related "news", the stores have all been open for a couple of weeks now, and the rush back has subsided, so people faced with entry lines that meander around the parking lot in the baking midday sun are now behaving rationally, IE, deciding that maybe they don't need a new barbecue scraper that badly. All of which means that I will probably go meandering through a super store in the next couple of days, and try and stock up on a couple of compression garments, to see if I can manage to wear bigger nappies under a wider range of circumstances with more confidence. I just have to work on devising a cover story, in case I run into one of my wife's friends, and I need to explain why I'm in the lingerie department, perusing items that would clearly be too large for her. Maybe I should ask my wife to get me THESE for Father's Day. I wonder if requesting women's underwear would go over better or worse than requesting a case of giant printed nappies....
 

I wouldn’t worry too much about being seen or judged in the lingerie section, or women’s clothing section in general. There are plenty of reasons to be there, and the sizes are close to each other for underwear. If you did run into another person you knew, you would have to intentionally flaunt the packaging, having it front and center, and facing the right way and then have them contextualizea the sizes, guessing the size of your wife, and you. Next they would need to contextualize the brand, the size, the fact that compression garments run smaller, have experience with all of that, and scrutinize the run in. Finally they would have to assume you’re purchasing it for yourself because you want to wear women’s underwear, and for some reason compression garments are your thing- rather than some sexy lingerie. Most women know compression garments aren’t usually found in the men’s section and you could be using it for yourself because you happen to need it and the women’s section has the best selection.

If everything went perfectly wrong, many men have interest in trying women’s clothing out of curiosity, kinks, pushing back against gender roles, self expression, etc etc. Up until a couple hundred years ago men and women of royalty dresses really similar, very frilly. Babies dresses similarly, pink was the boy’s color. Etc. and nowadays there is a slow revolt of the limitations of men’s clothing options and the inability to use clothing as a form of self expression, unless you really know what to look for (the small details in men’s suits for instance).

For that whole history I’d suggest checking out the podcast “articles of interest “ a 99% invisible podcast

https://99percentinvisible.org

And as for asking your wife? I think compression pants from the women’s section is much less taboo than asking for diapers. Heck she might even appreciate that you have an interest in discretion, and is likely to both know/understand your reasons for asking, know that no changes in nappy habits are coming, and know the availability of compression pants in store. (Not to mention the fit over a diaper of compression pants is much closer to women’s body shape than men’s).

Lastly, on the spectrum of kinks- women’s underwear is SUPER VANILLA!

But, that’s just my .02 cents. Your mileage may vary, but hopefully with compression pants, your diaper mileage during exercise and even day to day will be extended!