Let’s face it the REAL reason our fetish is controversial

[rusty pins]

I too wet the bed until I was almost 6 and was diapered every night for bed.  It is true that even at age 16 about 3 in every 100 teens will still have bedwetting issues according to a study I read many years ago.  Did you ever think that some of your high school friends and classmates still wet the bed and maybe wore diapers at night?  Even at age 40 some will still wet the bed and some will always wet the bed their whole life.  There is nothing wrong with wearing a diaper for a medical need or bedwetting need.  Those of us who are AB or DL don't have issues with us wearing diapers, even though the DL's may not understand the AB desires and vice versa.

I think this thread applies more to how the general public sees the AB/DL lifestyle and what they think about it, not what they think about adults who wear diapers for need or kids and teens who still wear some protection for bedwetting.  You really don't see people speaking ill of the pre-teen or teen who wears Goodnites to bed or the elderly person with incontinence who has to wear diapers.  Even the regular people who wear disposable underwear like Depends because now and then they have light bladder leakage.  These are all things that people do because they can't help their situation, and no one talks ill of them, if they bring it up at all.

It's those of us who openly choose to wear diapers for personal pleasure when we have no actual medical need or bedwetting issues that everyday people have a hard time accepting.  Same for those who are AB with bottles, pacifiers, snap crotch onesie's and other baby clothes and of course, diapers.  They have a mommy or daddy who babies them and changes their diapers.  These are otherwise normal adults and while regular people can understand and even have some empathy for a 13 year old who wears Goodnites or a diaper because he or she wets the bed, I think they are much more apt to have disgust for the adult who acts like a baby and/or wears diapers just for fun and personal pleasure.  While there are many who have told their friends and wives about it and were accepted, there are just as many who's friends and wives had a much different reaction, and remember, these people were already friends with the person in question.  Total strangers?  As I said, I think the majority of them would not understand it and look down in disgust.  You would probably get more understanding from specialty groups or lifestyles like those into bondage or other fetishes themselves, or the LBGT community, those who themselves may have struggled for acceptance or have had people look down on their own fetishes.

[deewet]

I will throw my two cents in here as well I guess.  

First I will say that wearing and using diapers has absolutely nothing to do with being a pedafile.   These things seem miles apart in my way of thinking?   

I will compare a want to wear diapers to a want to cross dress for example and add that when I was younger, these things seemed to contribute a strong urge for me, and lead to sexual gratification and a form of humiliation with the fact that if being caught at it, would surely be embarrassing.  Interesting that as I got older and needed to wear support pantie hose for poor leg circulation, and latter with prostrate meds growing my breast, needed to wear bras for support, the humiliation and sexual gratification went away and these things are now east to explain if needed.

The same things I see apply to wearing diapers.  When young and experimenting with diapers, it was done for the same reasons.  Now with older age, and high probability of needing these soon, the same thing is happening, as it is easy to explain, and people are accepting of  or even expecting of older people to be using diapers when needed.  Even prior to that in middle age with all the adds for the bladder protection products going,  it is now much more acceptable to be wearing some sort of diaper or insert on a daily basis.

Still there will be those who are jerks and point fun at those like us who are comfortable wearing diapers for protection, but ultimately we may get the last laugh if these folks actually need these as well at some point and can never accept that!

[Bettypooh]

13 hours ago, rusty pins said:

You would probably get more understanding from specialty groups or lifestyles like those into bondage or other fetishes themselves, or the LBGT community, those who themselves may have struggled for acceptance or have had people look down on their own fetishes.

Sadly this is not always true. I found just as strong a hate for others not like themselves in that world as I found in mainstream society in some of the LGBT community. Most however did relate to other people's diversity well though. And dare I say, the ABDL world isn't any different either. There will be haters in any group of humans no matter how you classify them- thankfully they are the few.

And Elfy's concept of us being seen as a "Fringe Fetish" is correct only because of our relative rarity. We're probably in the same percentage range as the chromosomal Intersexed people. Our difference is that we are seen as having chosen this- the same concept that the LGBT world had to break down 50 years ago. Almost all of us has tried to stop and found we couldn't. We know this isn't often a choice at all, but the rest of the world doesn't understand that. That's the main barrier to our gaining more overall tolerance and acceptance. Many others have broken that barrier so we can too- nobody has yet shown why we can't. The reason it's not happening for us is that we're not trying like those others did. That's all. But someday there will be enough ABDL's who are tired of being marginalized to get that ball rolling. I can't say when, but it's happened (and is happening still) with other marginalized people because such a desire is ingrained into our humanity- we all crave acceptance. We're all human. Even those who do not understand us or who hate us. That part of how our social world functions has much improved in my lifetime and that's why I believe we can gain acceptance someday. It CAN happen but it won't happen if we don't cause it to happen. Taken as a whole, we're not ready to take that job on yet. Someday we will be.

Bettypooh

[rusty pins]

And everyone should keep in mind, we ourselves know we are not Pedofiles and wierdos and all.  The point is how everyone else views us weather they have no basis for it or not.

[mndl]

On 10/11/2018 at 5:23 AM, mamabug said:

Elfy is right - that is the real reason this fetish is controversial. To everyone else, anyone who likes anything about diapers - is automatically a pervert and is into children. Of course, we know that isn't true, but sadly that isn't something that is never going to change. And you know what? I'm okay with that. It's not something that needs to be accepted by the world. It's not the same thing as being gay/cross-dresser or whatever, it is something that should remain private in your own home. I mean, yeah, it can sting a bit when you hear someone say something about it - but that's because they don't understand. I can get WHY they think that way and unless you are a part of this fetish you can't really understand fully why we like it (Hey, I don't even fully understand it lol) 

Oh yes, it's very much the pedophilia thing.  My ex-wife used that in the divorce and it's why I can't see my kids unsupervised.

[Mr. Sea Otter]

I dont have anything to add to the question of why we are misunderstood or whatever you want to call it... I go with the all the above on that.

If we want to change that, there is really only one way to do it. People, good people who are respected members of their community, need to come out about their kink. We DON'T need people coming out via TV shows or YouTube channels or any of that kind of stuff.... it doesn't help. What helps is telling somebody you love and trust about your kink in a one on one setting. Explaining to them that even you think it's a bit odd, and how you struggled with it as a kid, but that it never went away. Sharing that you even talked with a therapist to try and figure out why and may or may not have ever come up with an answer. But most of all explaining to them that you eventually decided to allow yourself to be happy and just see the the issue for what it is.... a weird and unexplainable part of you that you have decided to accept rather than fight. And how much better you felt after making that decision.

 

[Diaperedrider]

On 10/11/2018 at 6:36 PM, mamabug said:

Not everyone who is "very conservative" is like that. Even liberal people who claim to be "open-minded" can be quite the opposite. I've seen it on both sides of the political party. Some people are just assholes lol  I mean, it sucks when you tell someone you trust and they shut you down like that. After all, as you said, wearing diapers isn't hurting anyone. There obviously isn't anything wrong with it. I just don't think it's something that is ever going to be accepted as a whole and that's something I'm okay with. I don't care what strangers think about the ABDL lifestyle, because it's something they'll never be able to understand. I mean, maybe I'm wrong, who knows.

Mamabug is 110% correct and the worst hing anyone can do if you don't want to be judged is to judge others because all you are doing is boxing yourself in with your own false beliefs. How do I know? Because I've been there and it wasn't until I became comfortable and accepted that my love for diapers is just part of who I am that I became happier and did not give a shit what someone else thought. I've always felt that whatever you are...gay, purple, straight, black, white, Mongolian, etc. if you feel the need to flaunt it and shove it in peoples faces it is because you feel you have something to prove to someone and if that's the case then there is most likely guilt or shame involved and you don't accept it yourself so how could you expect others to if you explain it to them with fear?  If and when you become confident and happy with yourself it will make all the difference in the world if you decide to tell someone who you really feel should know. That's what will help make a difference in our community. Diaper pride! 

If you are not hurting anyone, who gives a shit what you are into? If you tell someone with confidence or they find out and they never speak to you again then guess what? You do not want them as your friend or your family anyway and you are much better off.