A.B.+D.L.=<3 (Interlude Pt 1/3 Posted 12/5)

[Wannatripbaby]

Another excellent chapter.

Glad to see those two... is it okay to refer to 7-year-olds as bitches? Because if any ever deserved it then their names are Amber & Danicka. Anyhoo, I'm glad they got their just desserts. And I'm curious how you'll bring them back later especially since Danicka moved away.

[RambleLamb]

2 hours ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Another excellent chapter.

Glad to see those two... is it okay to refer to 7-year-olds as bitches? Because if any ever deserved it then their names are Amber & Danicka. Anyhoo, I'm glad they got their just desserts. And I'm curious how you'll bring them back later especially since Danicka moved away.

I regularly refer to seven year olds as bitches, you're good.

As to the bringing them back, let's just say that the wide world gets a little smaller the older you get.

I'm super happy you liked it!

[Wannatripbaby]

1 hour ago, RambleLamb said:

I regularly refer to seven year olds as bitches, you're good.

As to the bringing them back, let's just say that the wide world gets a little smaller the older you get.

I'm super happy you liked it!

There has yet to be a single thing you've written that I didn't love. Even the sissy story! 

[RambleLamb]

9 hours ago, Wannatripbaby said:

There has yet to be a single thing you've written that I didn't love. Even the Civil War story! 

I fixed your comment for you. TheThe sissy story is hot as heck, man, the Civil War story is aggressively anti hot.

[Wannatripbaby]

1 hour ago, RambleLamb said:

I fixed your comment for you. TheThe sissy story is hot as heck, man, the Civil War story is aggressively anti hot.

Oh yeah, the sissy story was definitely hot! But normally I'm not into that sort of thing (I phrase I've noticed I say a lot lately.)

And while the Civil War story could be described as a proverbial bucket of cold water, it was hilarious to read! 

[RambleLamb]

1 hour ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Oh yeah, the sissy story was definitely hot! But normally I'm not into that sort of thing (I phrase I've noticed I say a lot lately.)

And while the Civil War story could be described as a proverbial bucket of cold water, it was hilarious to read! 

Hilarious works for me!

As far as stories, at least my stories, go, A New Life Story is mos def the hottest. This one won't be hot, I mean, it will have hot parts but the main focus is the story.

I've done my reckless smut, now I'll do the award winner and then who knows...

[CDfm]

Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!    I have had to work the last 9 days and these 12 hour shifts are killing me when it comes to reading and keeping caught up. I couldn’t believe how much had been added to this story. This is such a heartbreaking story. I can’t imagine how this little girl is able to cope. How is it she doesn’t completely break down. Having her mother walk away is beyond belief. There could never be anything that could cause me to give up on my kids. I have been willing to give my life in the service of my country and my community for most of my adult life. I would walk through hell for my kids and grandkids. An army would be needed to try and keep me from my kids.  I get tears in my eyes when reading about Alina and all she has gone through. I am honestly doing my best to keep up here because I believe you deserve the likes as well as the positive comments but understand other responsibilities need to be met first. 

[RambleLamb]

4 minutes ago, CDfm said:

Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!    I have had to work the last 9 days and these 12 hour shifts are killing me when it comes to reading and keeping caught up. I couldn’t believe how much had been added to this story. This is such a heartbreaking story. I can’t imagine how this little girl is able to cope. How is it she doesn’t completely break down. Having her mother walk away is beyond belief. There could never be anything that could cause me to give up on my kids. I have been willing to give my life in the service of my country and my community for most of my adult life. I would walk through hell for my kids and grandkids. An army would be needed to try and keep me from my kids.  I get tears in my eyes when reading about Alina and all she has gone through. I am honestly doing my best to keep up here because I believe you deserve the likes as well as the positive comments but understand other responsibilities need to be met first. 

I completely understand, don't worry about making time for my story, it's really not important enough to take up time in a busy schedule.

I was a little worried that Alina's mother bailing would be a sticking point for some, too much drama all at once and all of a sudden this mother is abandoning her child, but it has a purpose and I hope that once that purpose is revealed everything will make sense.

I'm so very glad that you like the story and am honored that you made time for my story and to comment, it's greatly appreciated!

[RambleLamb]

Playlist for this chapter: Flobots, Foo Fighters, Childish Gambino, White Town, Kendrick Lamar, Danger Mouse, Beastie Boys, Flogging Molly, Green Day, Three Days Grace, Run The Jewels, Cage The Elephant, Smashing Pumpkins, Rise Against, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Offspring, New Found Glory, Eminem, Third Eye Blind, Dropkick Murphys, Blink 182, Horrorpops, Jay-Z, Jet, Staind, Franz Ferdinand, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, Saliva, Tiger Army, Beck, Will Smith, Evanescence, Imagine Dragons, Modest Mouse, The Creepshow, Zombie Ghost Train, Terror Squad

 

Part One: About A Girl

 

Chapter Seven: Where You Can't Follow

 

"Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go

 

So make the best of this test, and don't ask why

 

It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time"

 

Green Day - "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)

 

"Diaper Girl", that's the nickname that floated around the school after my altercation with Amber and Danicka. I was understandably upset when the first girls pointed and giggled at me, but I was still mostly numb from my dealings with my birth mother, so I just let them get it out of their system and kept my focus on my schoolwork so I could prove I was ready to rejoin my former classmates.

 

"Alina?" a small voice questioned as I sat next to Dawn on the swings one afternoon during recess.

 

I looked up to see a girl from my class, Sierra? Sarah? I really hadn't bothered too much with learning names since I didn't plan on staying in the class longer than I had to. She was cute, one of the smaller girls in the class, mousy was a word I'd use to describe her, very quiet and shy, her voice barely a squeak amid the din of girls playing on the playground.

 

"Oh, hi, Ssssss-" I dragged out the first letter of what I believed her name to be, searching my mind desperately for the remainder of it.

 

She blushed and looked down at her slightly shifting feet. "Celeste." she said quietly.

 

I kicked myself mentally, her name had an "S" sound to it but now I worried I'd hurt her feelings. "I'm sorry, I forget names a lot." I lied as I smiled at her. "What's up?" I asked her.

 

She continued staring at her feet and began mumbling into her chest.

 

"I can't hear you." I said, not meaning to make it sound like I was criticizing her for her timidness.

 

She straightened up and practically yelled. "I heard some of the other girls making fun of you and-" she realized her voice was too high for the subject matter she was about to discuss and moved in closer and dropped her voice about four levels. "they said that you wear diapers." she finished.

 

I flushed and shook my head. "Training pants, actually." I corrected, sounding a bit too much like a toilet training toddler defending their independence.

 

Celeste stiffened and resumed looking down at her feet. "I wanted to let you know that, well, I-" she looked around behind her and lifted her skirt a little to reveal a Pull-Up with a cartoon princess on the front.

 

I blushed again, mostly for her showing off her underwear to a girl that couldn't remember her name and one that was in a grade higher than her own, and gestured for her to lower her skirt. "I guess we're all in the same club then." I said with a giggle.

 

Dawn shared in my laughter but then pretended to pout. "I don't get to wear training pants to school." she harumphed followed by a fresh wave of giggles.

 

Celeste blushed and once again looked down at her oh so interesting feet. "I don't really want to." she said quietly.

 

I got up from the swing and  went to her, hugging her lightly, the way a friend would. "Don't worry about Dawn, she's weird." I said with a reassuring smile.

 

Dawn opened her mouth to protest but almost immediately closed it again and just nodded and giggled. "Yeah, I am pretty weird." she agreed.

 

That was how we met "Mouse" as we pretty quickly began to refer to her, and how our duet became a trio. Incidentally, it was also how the first cracks in the relationship between Dawn and I formed and how we began our journey to our first real fight and breakup. As interested in all of that as I'm sure you are, we're not going to talk about that just yet, instead, we're going to discuss how I grew up in the limbo I found myself in as a second grader in first grade.

 

******************************************************************************

 

Over the Summer with Dawn I gave up many childish things with her help, the only real lingering wisps of my second babyhood being diapers and the occasional bottle at bed and naptime, but the diapers were relegated only to bedtime and naps with training pants taking over the day shift. After my altercation with Amber and Danicka I didn't want anything to do with diapers or training pants and buckled down and made the conscious effort to put them both behind me forever.

 

Daytime continence was the easy part, I had been potty trained before, completely and successfully, but once I was asleep and my nightmares came I was helpless to control myself but was resolved to fix that.

 

I started by telling Mommy that I didn't want a bottle before bed anymore, I didn't want any liquids for as long before bed and naptime as possible. For a few days there wasn't any change, I still woke up in the middle of the night with my nightgown clinging to me, soaked with sweat and my diaper soaked with the results of my sleeping fear, but then one night I woke up from a nightmare and found that I was still dry and remained that way into the morning when I woke up for school.

 

There was a noticeable shift in me that morning, I had accomplished something I'd been battling with for so long that it almost felt like I'd lost a part of who I was by waking up in a dry diaper. It's a really weird thing to try and explain, but wetting the bed was almost a character trait for me by that point, it was something that Dawn and I had shared and bonded over, it was something that had shattered my family, my inability to control my bladder through the night was a defining thing for me, and now it seemed like I'd beaten it and somehow wondered if I was making the right choice.

 

How fucked up is that? I mean, thinking that you should continue living with something that has both ruined and significantly improved your life but is a legit medical condition because you honestly don't know who you are without it is so fucking terrible for a second grader to be grappling with.

 

If I could go back in time and talk to my younger self, well, I'd probably completely ruin her life by telling her all the people she trusts and loves will eventually let her down and abandon her and she'll end up, well, look at me about to spoil things, that's my cue to digress I think.

 

******************************************************************************

 

Dawn was less than enthusiastic about my news, which really upset me, but I wasn't considering her feelings about her own bedwetting, though I think she loved it because it fueled her fantasy that she was still a baby and it gave her a built in excuse to not only wear diapers but to use them and have someone change her. There really were a lot of red flags about Dawn that I totally ignored.

 

"I thought you'd be more happy for me." I told her disappointedly as we sat next to each other on the swings after sharing my news with her.

 

Dawn screwed up her face. "Yeah, I'm so happy that you don't wet the bed like I do anymore." she said sarcastically. "Well, I know you think you're so much more mature than me now, but you're still just a first grader, don't forget that." she said coldly.

 

I felt tears welling up in my eyes but pushed them back down inside me. "Why are you being so mean, Dawn?" I asked her.

 

Dawn growled in frustration and got up from her swing and walked in front of me and stared me down. "Maybe because my best friend only ever talks about herself and never wonders what's going on in my life!" she shouted.

 

I was actually very scared by her shouting and very confused as to where all of this was coming from all of a sudden. "Dawn I-" I started to say but was cut off by her.

 

"Don't bother, Alina, I'm fine, my parents are just getting divorced and I'm going to be going to a different school next year, but yeah, good for you not wetting the bed anymore." she spat before she turned and stormed off leaving me completely dumbfounded and helpless to stop those tears from earlier from coming back in full force.

 

******************************************************************************

 

Dawn didn't return any of my phone calls for a week after that day on the swings. Being in different classes meant that she could easily avoid me at school by just staying in the classroom with her teacher during lunch and recess, but she worked really hard to keep her distance from me outside of school and it hurt so much. All I wanted to do was apologize to her for not being a better friend and hope that she'd forgive me and we could promise to still see each other on weekends and stuff, but she never gave me the chance, she just shut me out completely and I was devastated by that.

 

Without knowing what school she'd be going to I couldn't beg Mommy to send me there too, and without Dawn talking to me I didn't know how she was handling all of this, whether she was feeling badly about how things had gone down between us or if she was just glad to be rid of a bad friend like me.

 

When I finally did get to see Dawn she was with Mouse on our swings and the two of them were talking and smiling and I pushed aside my pangs of hurt and jealousy and went to them. Mouse waved and smiled when she saw me and I returned both to her as best I could but quickly turned my attention to Dawn. "Why haven't you talked to me for a week?" I asked her.

 

She dug her heels into the dirt to stop herself from swinging. "Do you really want to know, Alina?" she asked.

 

Her face was wrong. She wasn't my Dawn, my best friend, she was the Dawn that had talked to Amber and Danicka about me, the Dawn that had shown me how terrible the pain of a friend hurting your feelings can be. I was afraid of this Dawn, afraid of what she would say to me and how badly she would hurt me. I nodded slowly but said nothing.

 

She got up from the swing and walked to me, looking at me with the cold eyes of a stranger. "I didn't want to talk to you because you still think this is about you." she said. "My family is falling apart and our friendship is over and you still think you can fix it with words or hugs or a sleepover." she added.

 

"I have to do something!" I exclaimed.

 

Dawn sighed heavily, her shoulders slumping as her arms hung uselessly at her sides. "You want to know what you can do, Alina?" she asked me.

 

I nodded. "Please, I'll do anything!" I pleaded.

 

She hugged me and whispered into my ear, kissed my cheek and let me go, heading back to class and back out of my life, leaving me to shakily slump to the ground as sobs overtook me.

 

Mouse looked from the departing Dawn to me and rushed to my side, hugging me tightly. "What did she say to you?" she asked.

 

End Part One

[Wannatripbaby]

CLIFFHANGERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

I mean, I know that's kinda the point of a sequential story, but still, that was absolutely evil! ?

I don't really have a lot to say about this chapter, since most of it is either foreshadowing or buildup to what is to come. So anything I could comment would basically boil down to "WHAT HAPPENS NEXT???"

Oh! But I do like Mouse. She seems nice. ?

[RambleLamb]

3 hours ago, Wannatripbaby said:

CLIFFHANGERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

I mean, I know that's kinda the point of a sequential story, but still, that was absolutely evil! ?

I don't really have a lot to say about this chapter, since most of it is either foreshadowing or buildup to what is to come. So anything I could comment would basically boil down to "WHAT HAPPENS NEXT???"

Oh! But I do like Mouse. She seems nice. ?

Well, the thing is, what comes next is tricky. I searched for a way to do what I want to do without blowing everything up and I think I may have found a way BUT it's going to take ALL of my cunning to pull it off and if I fail all of these fictional people will suffer. It's cereal business. 

Also, Mouse is legit new MVP of the story, you'll see. 

[Bonsai]

"XXX me!" where in the best case "XXX" = "forget" and, in the worst,  = "kill".

"YYY yourself", with "YYY" involving diapers/watersport, seems less likely, but I could be wrong.

 

By the way, considering the title of your story, we should now have all the main characters revealed.

[RambleLamb]

1 hour ago, Bonsai said:

"XXX me!" where in the best case "XXX" = "forget" and, in the worst,  = "kill".

"YYY yourself", with "YYY" involving diapers/watersport, seems less likely, but I could be wrong.

 

By the way, considering the title of your story, we should now have all the main characters revealed.

I don't normally do this, but Dawn said "Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'". I agree that it's a weird thing for a second grader to say, but kids say the darndest things. 

We SHOULD have all the main characters revealed, shouldn't we? Hmm, interesting thing, that...:)

[CDfm]

Oh no. Somehow I don’t think that’ What Dawn really said. Just doesn’t seem to fit that situation. I do feel bad for both girls though. I can understand Dawn to a point but you would think that with all her family issues she would be wanting to get closer to friends. Hard for a 2nd grader to understand divorce and often they feel responsible for their parents splitting up. I sure hope it doesn’t take you long to get to the next chapter. I was happy I could give this a like. 

[RambleLamb]

56 minutes ago, CDfm said:

Oh no. Somehow I don’t think that’ What Dawn really said. Just doesn’t seem to fit that situation. I do feel bad for both girls though. I can understand Dawn to a point but you would think that with all her family issues she would be wanting to get closer to friends. Hard for a 2nd grader to understand divorce and often they feel responsible for their parents splitting up. I sure hope it doesn’t take you long to get to the next chapter. I was happy I could give this a like. 

It's a quote from Morgan Freeman in The Shawshank Redemption, she didn't actually say that.

Remember, Dawn has some past issues with breaking friendships, her former best friend told everyone about her bedwetting because she was mad Dawn was leaving. Perhaps Dawn feels the need to lash out at Alina to make their parting easier, or maybe she's just struggling with some heavy stuff and isn't considering that her actions are hurting her best friend, maybe she knows and doesn't care. Literally anything can happen!

I should have more on Wednesday or Thursday at the latest. Thanks for the like!

[aldl4811]

Excellent Part 1!

[RambleLamb]

8 hours ago, aldl4811 said:

Excellent Part 1!

Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment! Glad you enjoyed the first part.

[RambleLamb]

Playlist for this chapter: Biz Markie, Bush, System of a Down, Nirvana, Weezer, Foo Fighters, Kanye West, Tone-Loc, Horrorpops, Three Days Grace, The Raconteurs, Lil Jon, Green Day, Oasis, Flogging Molly, The Killers, Eminem, Jay-Z, Rihanna, Run-D.M.C., Beastie Boys, Sublime, Radiohead, Blink-182, Run The Jewels, Childish Gambino, Gnarls Barkley, Gorrilaz, Aesop Rock, The White Stripes, Cage The Elephant, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Trapt, Dr. Dre, Guns N' Roses, The Offspring, White Town, Beck, Seether, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Creepshow, Jimmy Eat World, The Wallflowers

 

Part Two: The Kids Aren't Alright

 

Chapter One: I'm a Terrible Person

 

"Where are you?

 

And I'm so sorry

 

I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight"

 

Blink-182 - "I Miss You"

 

There used to be a time when my parents never even raised their voices. The house used to be a quiet and happy place filled with love, a safe place where I was protected from all the big, scary things in the world but now if the space isn't filled with a terrible silence born from resentment and hatred it's filled with screaming and unbridled rage.

 

Every time they give up fighting for the night and go to their now separate rooms the slams of their doors shakes the walls. They broke the little golden mirror that Grandma gave me when one of them slammed their door so hard it knocked it off the wall and fell onto my toy box. I cried myself to sleep that night, I cry myself to sleep every night now, but that night wasn't from fear and uncertainty, it was from sadness. My parents, the people that were supposed to protect and love me forever cared so little about me that they broke something I treasured and didn't even realize it because they were so busy fighting with each other, trying to deal as much emotional damage to the other person in an attempt to win whatever stupid war they were having.

 

When I told them about the mirror, individually because they refused to be in the same room together unless they were fighting, they both finally agreed on something, they both told me that they'd get me another one. They hadn't listened to me when I told them that it was Grandma's and they couldn't get another one because she was dead now, they just did what they normally did in this new war torn world, Mommy looked at family albums and cried and Daddy drank and packed.

 

I didn't know what a "whore" was, but Mommy used that word a lot when she yelled at Daddy for having one. Daddy said my name a lot when he yelled back at Mommy, he didn't think Mommy was a good mommy because she babied me and he said it was screwing me up. All the yelling made my head and tummy hurt a lot, I threw up a few times when they first started fighting but once it happened more than it didn't I kinda got used to it and it didn't make me throw up anymore.

 

They couldn't even be civil to each other when they told me they were getting divorced. They told me separately and it was awful and they both did it in the worst way possible because apparently they were so focused on hating each other and destroying their marriage that they didn't bother to think that maybe they shouldn't break my heart and tell me the worst possible news for a little girl about to turn seven in very public places that were supposed to be happy.

 

Mommy went first and took me to the toy store. She held my hand as we walked through the aisles of brightly colored toys and games. The happy packaging stood in stark contrast to the dark auras of my mother and I as we passed by them. I knew something bad was coming because she was holding my hand and having me walk beside her instead of putting me in the seat of the cart and talking and smiling at me as we went through the store. Her hand held mine loosely, barely a spiderweb like wisp of contact and certainly no love or concern, just preoccupation and sadness. She held my hand like it was totally fine if I slipped from her grasp and disappeared like a child's balloon at an amusement park and every passing moment of that cold embrace broke my little heart more and more, reminding me of every happy moment we'd shared that was clearly gone and never coming back.

 

We stopped at the fork in the road near the center of the store, a place we never stopped at before today. To the left were the dolls and action figures, the age appropriate toys that barely held any interest for me when I was with her. To the right was the baby toys and care section, the place where we'd go to get more diapers and things for me to play with when we had Mommy/baby time. There was a weight in the pit of my stomach as we stood there, a feeling of dread that we'd move to the left for the first time and leave the right in the past with the rest of our once happy life, and as she crossed in front of me and walked to the left the part of me that wanted to be her baby and felt safe in her arms died.

 

The tears began to roll down my cheeks before we got to the doll aisle and she stopped to talk to me, but she'd rehearsed what she was going to say and payed no mind to my crying and just went through her mealymouthed explanations and apologies, blaming Daddy for everything that was happening to us. What it all boiled down to was that I needed to grow up and accept that I wasn't going to be a baby anymore because all the things happening needed to be handled like only a big girl could. I numbly nodded, barely listening or understanding, unable to look her in the eyes, staring at the sea of vacant stares on the aisle of dolls passively as my whole world slipped away with a hug from my mother.

 

Daddy took me to the park a few days later, he didn't pick me up from my carseat and put me on his shoulders, he didn't ask me how the weather was way up where I was, and he didn't flip me over as he pulled me from my perch and set me on the ground. He unbuckled my carseat and just stood there as I scooted to the edge of the seat and climbed down and out of the van. He took my hand in the same way Mommy had, his giant hand would normally swallow mine and contain it in a warm embrace but now it seemed to hover around mine, briefly touching it with the weakest of contact.

 

We went to a picnic table and sat down, my favorite swings and slide and sandbox so far away from where we sat. He didn't even apologize, he just blamed Mommy for everything, and put a hand on my shoulder. This man used to hold me in his strong arms, making me feel so small and safe, his embrace feeling like a blanket fresh from the dryer wrapping around me and warming me from the inside with its love, but now I was only worthy of a hand on the shoulder.

 

The playground equipment stood silently on the horizon, seeming to move farther and farther away as he talked to me, as he told me that I needed to be a big girl and deal with everything that was happening to me without my consent or understanding. A little girl was being pushed on the swings by her Daddy just over his shoulder, and here I was being talked to and dealt with like I didn't have a history with this man, like I was just some child he'd stumbled upon and barely cared enough about to put any effort into consoling.

 

I hated that little girl for taking what used to be mine. I hated Mommy for denying me my baby time. I hated Daddy for abandoning me. I hated myself for hating the two people I loved most in the world because they weren't interested in working together to fix the problems between them and were leaving me feeling scared and confused about what was going to happen to my family.

 

******************************************************************************

 

"Don't give up on me." I whispered to Alina as I hugged her, kissed her cheek and walked away from her.

 

I held it together until I got into the building and broke down into sobs as I ran to the bathroom, barreled into one of the stalls and dropped to my knees in front of the toilet as I began to vomit. Everything hurt so much and I had been so mean to Alina, to my best friend in the whole world, because I was hurting so much and couldn't understand why she hadn't noticed how badly I was hurting.

 

Tears blurred my vision as my throat burned and more acidic liquid clawed its way up from my stomach and out my mouth, splashing into the bowl. I knew that Alina didn't know how badly I was hurting because I'd hidden it from her, lied to her every day when she asked me how I was and hugged me because she loved me and I hid the truth from her because I loved her and didn't want her to worry about me but at the same time wanted her to worry about me so she could make things feel better.

 

Slumping against the stall partition, tears, snot, and vomit coating various areas of my face, I pulled my legs up to my chest, hugging them tightly to me as I sobbed. Why couldn't I just talk to Alina about what was happening? Why did I have to push her away and then tell her not to give up on me so that she continued to put herself in a position where she was going to get hurt? Why was I such a horrible friend to someone that loved me so much? Why did I hurt her so badly even though I loved her just as much as she loved me?

 

I was so completely and utterly alone, no Mommy, no Daddy, no friends, just tears and the scent of my own vomit mixed with the stale urine and feces smell of a school bathroom. I felt cold inside, like my soul had walked out on me to avoid all the terrible feelings. I thought about how tightly and hopefully Alina had hugged me, a hope that I'd destroyed when I broke our embrace. I thought about the possibility that I'd never see her again after the school year ended, and that's what got me off the floor, my legs shaky and tingling from going unused and being scrunched up so tightly. I flushed the toilet and went to the sink to wash my face off, my face pale and my eyes red and puffy from crying.

 

I moved to the door and opened it slowly, my head feeling very wobbly on my shoulders as I stepped into the hallway. My eyes struggled to focus on the path ahead, feeling like they were spinning in their sockets as I took another step. My legs felt like they were moving through mud, the last step I took made me feel like I was moving in slow motion and then the ground was getting closer, quickly rising upward to meet me and then everything went dark before a bright flash of white and a dull sting of pain took over.

 

******************************************************************************

 

After the nurse couldn't get hold of my parents she asked me if there was anyone else I could call to come and get me. Alina's Mommy was the only person I could think of but I didn't know if Alina's Mommy was a good person to call because of what was going on with Alina and I. I'd told the nurse that there wasn't anyone else and she continued trying my parents.

 

When the school day neared its end and neither of my parents could be reached the nurse went to the Principal and the two of them came back and talked to me. With the mention of "problems at home" I broke down completely and spilled every horrible feeling and secret I'd kept from everyone for what felt like forever. I told them about the loss of my baby time, the yelling and door slamming, Grandma's broken mirror, the vacant doll eyes in the toy store, the far away playground and how Mommy and Daddy didn't love me as much anymore.

 

The nurse and Principal looked so worried and they said very nice things to me and then the Principal left and when he came back a long time later he had a nice lady with him and she asked me questions about what I'd told the nurse and Principal. She let me hold a teddy bear she'd brought with her and I felt better for a little while and then I wet my pants and cried because I missed my diapers and my Mommy and everything was wrong and hard and bad.

 

The nurse helped me get cleaned up and into some clean clothes from the lost and found, a pair of too big sweatpants that she had to tie onto me really tight with the little string that came out of the top of them and a shirt that was almost like a dress on me. The nice lady held my hand, like Mommy used to, and took me to her car and she picked me up like Daddy used to and put me in the carseat in the back and we left the school. She told me everything would be okay and her voice was soft and her car smelled like clean laundry and I started sucking my thumb as I hugged the teddy bear she'd brought and I fell asleep wondering if she would let me keep it, him, I corrected and sleepily thought about what his name should be.

[Wannatripbaby]

1 hour ago, RambleLamb said:

I loved her and didn't want her to worry about me but at the same time wanted her to worry about me so she could make things feel better.

The classic conundrum.

So if I'm understanding this correctly, Dawn has a split-personality now? Yikes! That ain't good! It almost makes Alina's problems seem small in comparison! Although I'm sure that she mostly just the distance talking.

[RambleLamb]

12 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

The classic conundrum.

So if I'm understanding this correctly, Dawn has a split-personality now? Yikes! That ain't good! It almost makes Alina's problems seem small in comparison! Although I'm sure that she mostly just the distance talking.

Is that how it came off? Huh. I didn't intend for it to read that she had a split personality, just that she was deeply conflicted emotionally. Having the desire to continue her baby time with her mother and being told by both her parents individually that she needed to be a big girl and handle all of this as such made her very sad and confused. With regards to Alina, Dawn is struggling with pushing her friend away to try and shield her from all the terrible things she's going through but also desperately wants her to be there and be her friend.

I was going for something very sad that would illustrate how powerless Dawn is feeling by being pulled in all these directions but being unable to move in any one direction because none of the paths are particularly happy. It seems I may have missed the mark with the message. I'll get it the next time around.

[Wannatripbaby]

The thing that made me think she had a split personality was qhen she started refering to herself as if she were someone else. I.e. this part:

1 hour ago, RambleLamb said:

After the nurse couldn't get hold of my parents she asked me if there was anyone else I could call to come and get me. Dawn's Mommy was the only person I could think of but I didn't know if Dawn's Mommy was a good person to call because of what was going on with Dawn and I. I'd told the nurse that there wasn't anyone else and she continued trying my parents.

 

[RambleLamb]

4 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

The thing that made me think she had a split personality was qhen she started refering to herself as if she were someone else. I.e. this part:

 

DERP! I wrote the wrong name! I'll fix that, it's supposed to be "Alina's Mommy". Gosh dang am I a dingle!

[Wannatripbaby]

1 hour ago, RambleLamb said:

DERP! I wrote the wrong name! I'll fix that, it's supposed to be "Alina's Mommy". Gosh dang am I a dingle!

That was my first guess, actually. Oh well, no harm no foul.

[ELLIE52]

So I'm behind, and in the direct path of an oncoming hurricane.  What am I doing?   Reading RambleLamb's new story.  I can't confirm or deny I'll be around to continue reading, but I've made it through the breakdown chapter so far.

[RambleLamb]

1 hour ago, ELLIE52 said:

So I'm behind, and in the direct path of an oncoming hurricane.  What am I doing?   Reading RambleLamb's new story.  I can't confirm or deny I'll be around to continue reading, but I've made it through the breakdown chapter so far.

I hope the hurricane misses you completely, take care and be safe!