Velvet - A Calibeen Story (Complete!)

[Wannatripbaby]

11 hours ago, Sophie ♥ said:

Not to be too spoiler-y, but... if you've read Audrey & Staycee, you would know that Phase Zero did literally NOTHING to Velvet.  I'll elaborate on this once the story is over if you remind me.  

I have not read A&S. Probably won't any time in the near future because I just don't have that kind of time. 

So I guess after this is done I'll have to remember to make myself scarce to all the *true* fans can talk about how this story connects and relates to A&S ?

[Sparkle Dust]

1 hour ago, Wannatripbaby said:

I have not read A&S. Probably won't any time in the near future because I just don't have that kind of time. 

So I guess after this is done I'll have to remember to make myself scarce to all the *true* fans can talk about how this story connects and relates to A&S ?

True.  You’re kind and try to read everything.

 

 

[Sophie ♥]

Long story short, in A&S, Phase Zero is something that reduces the people who go through it to complete infants.  When they get out of it, they can't read or write or talk properly.  As you can see, Velvet is in no such state.  

This will be explained more in the future.  Don't worry.

[Sophie ♥]

45.) Her Adjustment

Three doors down on the left in the same hall was a simple bedroom with a full sized bed and a television, no security cameras, no equipment. Just... a bedroom, albeit a spartan one. And I set my little project down on the bed, finally exhaling. "Velvet I am so happy to see you. I mean, I've seen you every day, but I mean... see... you."

"What did you do," I muttered again, because she still hadn't answered.  Every time she put her thumb near my mouth I had a... response.  A trigger?  I gave her a weary look. "Did you hypnotize me?  I told you, you can't.  I'll just erase it."

"I helped you, Velvet. If you don't trust me, you're welcome to go to your... what did you call it? Your library?" I feigned ignorance and I did it well, too. If she knew right now that I was party to her sanctuary, she might grow suspicious. "I'll be content just to hold you, though." She looked at me, I'm sure she was trying to figure out if I was bluffing, if she'd go there and she'd magically 'fix' herself. But then, why would I offer if that were the case?

I gave her a harsh look. "Why do you think it's a library?"

"You mentioned it," she said simply, "in your room, before you... before Marlow."

I did?  I didn't remember that.  But if I told her, maybe she--

"Velvet, trust me.  I would never hurt you."

I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach, and... and I shrugged my shoulders.  I guess Colette really wouldn't ever hurt me. "But what was that drug, then?  Why do I feel funny?  Why were all those people--"

"I had to put you into a program for troubled inmates. Think of it like... a medically induced coma, only you're not reduced to a sleeping state, but more akin to that of an infant. We tracked your cognitive functions and development as being around about that of a one year old." Velvet was skeptical as a person, too, and I reached to the dresser and turned on the television which flicked to a video feed of Velvet in the nursery room, playing on the floor with blocks and giggling.

My cheeks went crimson at the sight.  Me, in nothing but a diaper and a pretty t-shirt, playing with blocks... I crossed my arms over my chest defensively and looked away. "W-well, you had no right to do that!  And... and what if had lasting effects?!  It's experimental and you were experimenting on me?  How stupid can you be?"

"Shh, Velvet, be kind. I took a risk on you, to keep you safe. You did something really bad, and while I understand the why, there had to be consequences." I spoke to her like I was talking to a child, but I wasn't condescending, more like... factual. Like my words made sense, or were beyond reproach. Like logic. "There were risks, but the alternative might have seen you die, and you're too brilliant for that. You could help so many others, you could make such a difference in this world. I had to try. You forgive me, right?" On the TV, Velvet gurgled from her mouth and from her bottom, and didn't seem to care one bit as she squeaked and squealed.

I snatched the controller out of Colette's hand and turned off the TV to spare myself further humiliation. "I guess I see your point..." I thought about what had happened, about what I'd done.  Marlow... I felt a little sick.  I didn't regret it!  I didn't!  But... but, well, maybe I shouldn't have... fuck. "Um... what about... Marlow?  Is he..."

"I'm not sure, honestly. He was transferred once, then again, and then picked up by a private firm. I lost track of him after that, and honestly I didn't care too much about it because I was focused on helping you, Velvet." And his formula for the process he'd used on Velvet - the one that had broken her so emotionally - was left behind, too.

"...oh." I looked at the TV, though it was off, and I could see Colette watching me in the reflection.

"Are you... scared of him?" she asked me.  I wanted to say no, but that would be lying.  I was definitely scared of him.

"I'm just glad he's gone," I said, more to myself than to her.

“He's had plenty of opportunity to get at you, he's known where you are, but he never made any attempts at you - maybe he's scared of you? Or of what I would do to him if I ever saw his smug face again?" I smiled, but remembered that this was about teaching her. "We're above that, though; me and you. We're good people. We're proud to be good people, aren't we?"

I nodded quietly, still watching the empty TV screen.  Then I nodded again, a little more sure of myself. "Yeah, we're good people." Colette wrapped her arm around me and ruffled my hair, kissing me once on the forehead.  I shoved her away and rolled my eyes. I felt like... I felt like I hadn't lost any time at all, let alone six months.  And still, I was happy to have Colette back.

“I have to write a review for your treatment. The higher ups want some reports, so I'm going to be asking you a lot of questions.” I was honest with her mostly, but I still didn't tell her how important this was. I did offer something new, though: the choice. "Would that be okay with you?"

"Uh huh, yeah."

But though Colette said she'd be asking me questions, I spent the next twenty minutes asking her them.  Annie really did get better - somewhere, in my heart, I knew she would.  My Induction file worked, and Colette took care of the rest.  Ayla graduated the week after I was locked up.  Most of the other girls were gone now, too!  I was just so happy for them to have moved on.  And I was happy that Colette had been presiding over all hypnosis cases since Marlow's incident.  It felt like... like everything was finally going my way.  Other than losing six months of my life, of course.  Speaking of...

"Shouldn't I remember more of my time, um... you know?"

"Well, ordinarily, I think the drug is supposed to have a deeper effect on a patient's subconscious, but your sub-conscious is very protected.  You probably hid away somewhere."

"Oh.  Yeah, that sounds like me."

It was like we hadn't spent any time apart: even though I'd been with her this entire time, for her it had to feel surreal. She was curious, too, and her eyes would light up, and she'd get visibly excited when I'd tell her news. This girl wasn't quite night and day to the previous Velvet, but there was a profound difference just beneath the surface. "How do you feel, Velvet? I asked you that when you first woke up, but you never answered me."

"Fine, I suppose.  A little annoyed, I guess.  Because I don't like that you locked me up for six months!  But... I guess I understand why.  It's the only way you could save me." I sighed and kicked my feet, pouting a little. "I wish there had been another way... but it's over now.  We can worry about the future.  Oh!" I perked up all of a sudden. "Should we keep doing those hypnosis things!  That would be fun!"

I couldn't help but smile, because she was so genuinely excitable. She wasn't a caricature created by force either; she was genuinely distinctly female in her mannerisms and presentations. "Do you think we could get through this first few days, and then we can look at the hypnosis program again?" I again made it her choice, I put it to her that she could choose to be selfish or selfless, to be proud of her restraint or ashamed of her impulse.

I pouted and crossed my arms over my chest.  She didn't want to do our programs anymore?  But we were doing so well... no, she just wanted to make sure I was okay.  So I sighed and nodded my head.

"I guess that's fine," I muttered.

"You're so thoughtful and kind, Velvet.” I'd have to interview her soon, to start the hundreds of questions that would take our next few days. But for now... just sitting with her, being with her, seeing the fruits of my labor, seeing this... worst case scenario playing out... it was nice. "I've missed you."

Colette led me by the hand through the halls of the facility, until I recognized a familiar security checkpoint, and a familiar doorway.  She led me inside the tall circular playroom.  On the far wall, the sofa and television were the same.  The plastic table and chairs where we would eat our food weren't any different either.  But the walls were painted in pastel swirls, making the playroom look... well, more like a playroom.  And when we walked in, most of the faces that looked up were new.  But they all had familiar baby blue eyes.  I felt my heart race and I looked up at Colette in a panic.  Marlow was gone, wasn't he?  How could this have happened?! Tears filled my eyes.

"Velvet, this way." I tapped her shoulder, although I wasn't oblivious to her upset - how could I be? I knew what had happened, I knew what was done, and I also knew exactly what was worth keeping once the war had ended. She looked up at me, betrayal on her soft pretty features, mouth about to ask a question, when I motioned her to the office door. My office. This time with big open windows so I could always see everybody out here, and the plaque on the door read "Project Lead".

Every pair of blue eyes followed me as I went into Colette's office and she drew the blinds over the window.  The second the door closed, I lost it. "What the heck!  You lied to me!  Marlow's still here and he's still using that awful machine!  Why did you lie to me?!" I was trembling, as tears rained down my cheeks.  I couldn't help myself.  Traumatic memories came flooding back.

"Velvet." My voice was soft by necessity, because there were parts of this fragile girl now that needed to cry, that needed to be emotional, to have outbursts that she didn't understand. I let her have the moment, for just a second, before I replied. "I promise he's not here. He’s gone, Velvet. I pinky promise." And I expended my pinky to seal the deal.

I looked at her pinky through tear-filled eyes and up at Colette's expression.  She was so calm.  So mature.  I felt a pang of jealousy in my heart. "Then why... why do they all look like that?  Their eyes, and their skin, and..." A shudder ran up my spine.

Because they wanted to be pretty? Because this was a well developed piece of technology that was proven to be helpful to the goals of this institution?  Or… "Because our program is about rehabilitation, Velvet, it always has been. And this process has proven to be invaluable to that end. It helps our girls to leave behind the selves they were and begin to embrace a new future, a new self, divorced of all the awful things they once did." Was I making excuses? No, I was steadfast in this belief.

I shook my head, unwilling to accept it.  But everything Colette said made sense.  These people would leave here as girls, no matter what.  Why shouldn't they be pretty?  Why shouldn't they look their best?  But all I could think about was Marlow and his awful smile.  The first time I saw my eyes... I rubbed the tears away, but new ones took their place.

Once upon a time, touching Velvet Duke without her consent would have meant a sharp response - be that one of fear, anger, disgust, or just general aversion. That girl was a long time ago, though. That girl was absent when I put my arms around today's Velvet and I pulled her into a warm embrace.

I clung tightly to Colette and cried my eyes out into her shirt.  I knew, deep down, that the procedure Marlow had done to me was helpful for these girls.  I knew it would make their lives easier.  It would make my life easier too, in the long run.  But for now, I just needed to cry.

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[Wannatripbaby]

Huh. This is an... unexpected turn. I mean, it's certainly better in Colette's hands than Marlow's, and their program already feminized all the inmates anyway... Did Marlow do something good?

[diaperpt]

20 hours ago, Sophie ♥ said:

you could make such a different in this world.

Velvet seems to be childlike in some ways, still with some old characteristics in her thinking but then not. She is certainly quite a way from a finished product.

I wonder if she can still access her library, but from what we've already seen the books won't be the same.

[Sophie ♥]

46.) Her Old Friends

She'd cried in my arms for maybe a half an hour, and somewhere along the way she'd taken to sucking my thumb. By the time she spit it out in bashful embarrassment, I knew she was probably more or less pulled together enough to talk. “Are you okay?”

I nodded, but I felt exhausted.  Crying took so much out of me.  Colette sat me down on her sofa and played with my hair.  It was longer than before - six months of growing made it perfect for pigtails.  Then I noticed a shadow on the far wall, through the blinds.  With a bit of effort, I could hear whispering on the other side of the window.  I looked at Colette with confusion.

"You can come in, girls." I called out, my tone resigned and knowing as much as any parent. That's really what I was now, that's what I felt like, that's who I'd become. A parent. Mommy Colette at times. My office door cracked and two girls - very familiar girls once you got past their perfect skin and unworldly eyes - peered in bashfully. I sighed and kept my hands on Velvet, soothing her calmly. "Velvet, you remember Lemon and Bree, right?”

"Oh my gosh, we thought you died!" Lemon rushed into the room and Bree watched in disbelief.  I looked shyly from one girl to the other and then down at my feet, flattening out my dress. "Um, no... I got in trouble for..." I didn't have to say it.  Everyone must know what I did.  Rumors weren't easy to quell.

"I'm so glad you're okay, Velvet.” Bree was quiet and demure, pleasant and thoughtful with her choice of words. "What he put you through, that was..."

I had to raise my finger to that one, and reel in my girls. "There's no need to dwell on the past, for any of you. Velvet had a rough time, and she's better now. Aren't you honey?" Bree and Lemon were recognizable, though barely, but Velvet was entirely a new person.

"Uh huh." Lemon and Bree exchanged a curious look and Colette helped me up onto my feet. "Why don't you girls show Velvet to her room.  Dinner should be soon." "Yes Miss Colette." Bree took me by the hand and led me out of Colette's office, into the playroom.

"Where have you been, Velvet?" Bree asked, despite being told not to talk of the past. She did it only once out of earshot, while she was opening the door to the bedroom that Velvet would be staying in. The rooms were different, too, appointed for children and less like prisoners.

"Um... I got in trouble, and they put me in..." What did Colette call it? "Phase Zero?" But by the look on Bree's face, she had no idea what I was talking about. "I dun remember a lot of it.  I had drugs in me, and I was asleep a lot, and..." I tried to remember more than that, but everything felt like it had happened years ago.  I shook my head. "Anyway, it only felt like a day or two, and now I'm here."

"Gosh, you're so different," Lemon muttered under her breath, staring at me with wide eyes.  I blinked. "I am?"

"You're..." What was a good way to put it? A good word was important, and Bree had taken strongly to picking favorite words for the right circumstances. "You're prim." That was a good word choice!

"Prim?" I asked. "You're a good girl," Lemon interjected. "Okay...?" "Well... you're usually a naughty girl." "I don't think so..." Bree and Lemon exchanged another look and shrugged their shoulders. "Well, either way, this is your room." The rooms were different too.  The bunk beds weren't standard prisoner-grade.  They were hard wood, painted white.  The lighting was a lot better and the walls were decorated with stencils of teddy bears.  I felt a little blush on my cheeks. "Yeah, we have way more people than before," Lemon explained. "All the rooms are full, and I think they are going to expand the facility."

"Miss Colette said that she's waiting on the results of a project and if it goes well, there might be three or four times more people." Which was a lot of people! Certainly more than could fit in a facility of this size. "I missed you." Bree confessed, after a few quiet moments, looking down at her feet. "I'm glad I got to see you again before I leave. Miss Colette told us how much good work you did here and... and you're maybe the reason I'm getting a second chance at life. So thank you.'

Bree really caught me off guard in that moment.  She was thanking me?  For what, making sure she turned into a girl?  A second chance at life... I bit my lip and looked down at my feet. "R-right, sure... of course..." Then something else she said caught up to me. "Wait, you're leaving?" "Yeah, maybe a week or two.  I'm rehabilitated." "Uh huh, me too!" Lemon said, raising her hand.  Bree shook her head. "You need to stop having night time accidents if you want to leave." Lemon blushed a little and I looked down at Bree's dress, tight around her breasts and fluffed out at the bottom.  It looked way more grown-up than my frilly babydoll dress, that was for sure.  How had I not noticed that? "You're not in diapers?" I asked.

"I am not." Bree nodded, more than a little pride in her tone of voice. "Miss Colette said there's four stages to rehabilitation: Breaking Down, Sorting Out, Looking In, and Building Up." Those four tenants were obviously well known to everybody here, too, because Lemon was subconsciously mimicking them with her lips as Bree said them. "I'm about finished with Building Up, but Lemon here is still working on Looking In..." Bree flashed a smirk to her best friend and winked. "And Staying Dry, right, Lem?" "Shhh!"

"I... um.  But I thought this whole place was about diapers and bottles and..." "That's 'cause you never got past the first part," Lemon said simply.  In retrospect, I was the only one at the table to drink from a bottle.  Everyone else had mac and cheese or chicken nuggets or something.  That had always annoyed me, but I never thought about the greater implications.

"They can't say we're rehabilitated if we're still wetting the bed," Bree explained. "The diapers are just part of the breaking down part.  Then you get to grow up again."

I pouted and crossed my arms with a little irritation. "Well, I don't want to wear them then!"

"You get assigned someone to help you, someone who's a step ahead," Bree explained, nodding her head. “And when she thinks you're ready to move up to the next part, you two both have an interview with Miss Colette." It seemed like, if nothing else, things were very structured here.  And effective.

"I dun need help!  I'm not a baby!" "Sure are acting like one," Lemon said with a smirk.  I blushed and turned my back on the two girls, walking across the playroom with purpose.  I didn't need diapers!  I was potty trained!  And I'd been here for six months - I should be in the next step.  I'd tell Colette and she'd understand.

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[Wannatripbaby]

Methinks Velvet isn't going to get much of anywhere with Colette. :D

[diaperpt]

4 hours ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Methinks Velvet isn't going to get much of anywhere with Colette.

Agreed, 

 

I'm struck by what I see as a big difference in Velvet just from the previous chapter and it doesn't seem like a ploy. She doesn't understand the changes in the institution or in what has happened to her which is natural, but her anger has eased and she seems to want to find her place rather than fight it. I guess there was reference to that happening but the seemingly sudden shift surprises me.

[littleTomás]

2 hours ago, diaperpt said:

Agreed, 

 

I'm struck by what I see as a big difference in Velvet just from the previous chapter and it doesn't seem like a ploy. She doesn't understand the changes in the institution or in what has happened to her which is natural, but her anger has eased and she seems to want to find her place rather than fight it. I guess there was reference to that happening but the seemingly sudden shift surprises me.

I hope this new Velvet sticks around. It’d be a shame to go back to that nasty sociopath.

[Sophie ♥]

21 hours ago, diaperpt said:

I'm struck by what I see as a big difference in Velvet just from the previous chapter and it doesn't seem like a ploy. She doesn't understand the changes in the institution or in what has happened to her which is natural, but her anger has eased and she seems to want to find her place rather than fight it. I guess there was reference to that happening but the seemingly sudden shift surprises me.

Yeah the Library chapter took place over... six month?  So there will be some critical differences.   More on this in future chapters!

[Sophie ♥]

47.) Her Review

"Hello, Velvet. Are you ready for your review?" I asked when the little girl marched back into my office with purpose, standing posed before my desk with her hands on her hips.

"No more diapers!  Bree doesn't wear them, and Lemon is in Looking In or whatever, and that's not fair!  I'm smarter than both of them, and I'm not a baby!" I wasn't taking no for an answer.

"And what kind of person are you, Velvet? What's more important to you? Is it the happiness of others, or getting what you want?" She didn't need to know that this was the first review question, did she? Honestly, having her all sparked up like this would make for a more truthful set of answers.

"Getting what I want!" I said harshly, stomping my foot on the floor. "It doesn't got anything to do with anybody else, and I'm more a big girl than Bree!"

"Oh, you are? And what do you want to be when you grow up, if you're such a big girl? Do you want to be someone who hurts others, or do you want to be someone who makes stuff?" Question 2.

"I..." I looked at Colette with irritation and crossed my arms over my dress.  What did any of this have to do with diapers?! "Makes stuff, I guess.  Now can I have underwear?"

"What kind of underwear would you like? Something cute and demure, or something racy and sexy?" Question 3. Well, almost. "What kind of fashion do you like, Velvet? What's your perfect outfit?"

"I dunno... like a thong or something?  I dun want that.  Just maybe... undies.  Like panties?  Um..." I remembered wearing panties before coming here, with Roger.  He thought it was cute when I'd wear women's underwear.  I bit my lip. "Maybe full cut, with um... bows on the top part, like right here?" I pointed to my waist.

I was careful not to belay a smile, not to give anything away, and I nodded in appreciation of her answer while keeping a passive expression on my face. "What do you want to do when you grow up, what do you want to do for work?" Question 4. Next, I'd ask her question 1 again. "And what did you say was more important? Yourself or others?"

"Um.  I wanna help people.  Like, I really loved being a hypnotherapist because people usually need help with stuff they can't control, and it works!  Even if people don't think it works." But Colette knew that.  She was in the same profession as me. "Others are more important."

Oh how exciting! It was working, it was working! I nodded, I hid my excitement, and I continued to question her. "And it was cute panties you wanted to wear, right? You want to wear cute clothes, like... well, what's your favorite color dress to wear?" That one was a freebie, I just wanted to know.

"Red, please." I had always liked the color red, but now that I thought about it, I wasn't really sure why.

"How do you feel about hurting people? Like if someone really upsets you, is it okay to hurt them? Or if you really want something, is it okay to steal to get it?"

"Um, you can't hurt people just because you don't get what you want.  You gotta be nice and nice things will happen sooner or later." I nodded with certainty, then realized we were off topic. "Wait, so can I have undies?"

"I think with how much you believe in working hard to get what you want, that you'll be able to convince your Second that you're ready for undies in no time at all." I allowed some pride in there.

I supposed I could get underwear the old-fashioned way, how every other girl got theirs.  But... "Wait, what's a Second?" "A Phase Two person." "Phase Two?" "Sorting Out." "Oh... wait, does that mean I'm a Phase One person?  I am not!  I'm potty trained, so I should be higher up than Lemon!"

"Lemon has worked very hard to get to where she is, Velvet, and if we just let you skip ahead that wouldn't be very nice to her, would it?" It was remarkable what the process had done for Velvet, how kind she'd become, how compassionate, while still being... herself. More-or-less. "She was looked after by a Second for a while, and then she was a Second, too. She's earned her place, you see?"

"Well... well, then let me be a Second!  I can look after people.  I looked after Annie, didn't I?" I saw the tide shift in Colette's expression, like she was considering it. "C'mon, I can do it.  I'm not taking shortcuts.  I swear!"

"You think you could take care of one of our new recruits, Velvet? You'd be who she came to when she was sad, when she was confused, when she was trying to find herself.  Is that what you want?" If anything, I was sure I could see excitement in Velvet's eyes. "When her diapers need changing, when she needs coaxing to drink her milk, and to play with the others. You'd be... well, not quite her Mom, but her Big Sister maybe.”

"Yeah!  I can do that!" Colette let out a little sigh and opened up a file on her desk.  I watched in anticipation. "Okay.  Keira has been here for about two weeks.  She had her Softening last week.  So far, she’s been a model patient, but you’re taking on a big responsibility.  Are you sure you can handle it?” "Of course!" I said with a huff. "Then underwear?"

"Let's see how well you do with Keira, but I can promise you that nothing else will get you closer. Okay?" I gave her a reassuring smile and let her examine the picture of Keira and some details about her file - it was more privilege than I gave anybody else, but this was Velvet. "Why don't you go introduce yourself, and I'll check in with you later?" Besides, I had a report to write; a proof of concept. Velvet Duke: Phase Zero.

I hadn't gotten myself out of diapers, but I felt like I'd won my argument with Colette.  I stepped out her office with newfound confidence to find Bree and Lemon waiting for me. "Well?" Bree asked. "Well, she gave me a First to take care of." "Wow, really?" Lemon seemed surprised. "Who?" "Keira." Not that I knew who that was...

"Keira?" Lemon and Bree looked at each other, the way that two people looked at each other when a third person present was yet to become privy to a particular piece of bad news, and then the two of them looked back at Velvet. "She's weird,” Lemon began, and Bree finished the thought: “Very weird.”

"What?  Why?" Colette said Keira only arrived a few weeks ago.  After a few weeks of me being here, I blinded a staff member.  Compared to me, how bad could this chick really be?

"Keira is..." Bree tried to think of a delicate term to use, but Lemon jumped at the chance to interject her own opinion on the matter, brashly at that: "She enjoys it here. No fights, no nothin’.  Just doing everything she’s told.”

I blinked in confusion.  She wanted to be here?  No, that didn't make sense.  I crossed my arms and looked down at my feet.  Maybe it was a fake-out?  Like I used to do?  I should talk to her... "Could you point her out?  I want to introduce myself."

"Uh huh." Lemon started, and Bree managed to find the right words to offer up her opinion again. "She's cute - taller than you, pretty glasses even though she's had her Softening, and she always keeps her hair in plaits."

“Softening?” I asked.

“The, uh… the tank.  Softens your skin?  Makes your eyes… uh…”

Oh.  It had a name now… I looked away from the both of them with my arms crossed over my chest.  The memory of seeing myself in the mirror for the first time haunted me.  Those eyes.  I shook the thought away.

“But it fixes your vision,” Bree offered up. “Like, you don’t wear glasses anymore, even though you always used to.”

“I… what?” I touched my nose and - for the first time - realized I didn’t have my glasses on.  But without them, I was as blind as a bat!  I could only make out vague shapes and blobs.  Nonetheless, Bree and Lemon were in crystal-clear focus.

“They probably wouldn’t let her have glasses,” Lemon said to her friend. “You know.  ‘Cause of the other time.”

I shook my head.  One thing at a time, Velvet.

“Which room is Keira’s?” I asked.  Bree pointed at one of the doors and I walked away from the both of them.

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[diaperpt]

She really has changed! She is even surprising Collette. Now we've got a bit of drama as we wait to see about this new girl Keira.

[Bonsai]

Sooner or later Alexander will wake from his oblivion in the sunk city of R’lyeh and then new Velvet will have to find some sort of balance with the Old One.

The most striking differences are that now Velvet seems both much worse than before at deception and dissimulation, and unable to think “long term”.

[Wannatripbaby]

Hmm... I don't think Velvet has been rehabilitated quite as much as Colette believes. Case and point: her first response to Question #1 was "getting what I want is more important." It was only after she had calmed down that she gave the "correct" answer. This means that, under stress, she will likely resort to her old ways.

That's just my theory anyway.

[littleTomás]

Interesting! The girl Velvet is taking care of likes the treatment... 

[Sophie ♥]

Thanks for all the comments, guys! It's so interesting to see what people are thinking as they read.

More on Velvet and her new charge in the coming chapter!

[Sophie ♥]

48.) Her First

When I first got here, there were only seven girls.  Now, it seemed closer to fifteen or twenty.  The playroom was bustling with baby babble and the soft sounds of the TV program.  It was remarkable, actually.  So many guys, and now they were pants-pissing little girls.  Why would Keira ever want to be here?  I found Keira's room and peeked my head in.  The light was off, but I could see someone's frilly pink socks hanging off the side of the bed. "Uh.  Keira?  Are you in here?"

"Uh huh." Her response was quiet, almost... distracted, even. But unlike most girls who'd only been here a week or two, her voice rang with femininity and awe.

I let out a sigh and turned on her light.  I knew that inflection anywhere.  She was on the milk.  I approached her with crossed arms and looked down at her.  Gosh, she was pretty.  Like, really pretty.  She smiled up at me behind her black-rimmed glasses.  Her frilly lavender dress had flipped up, showing off the very thick and very yellow diaper between her legs.  I rolled my eyes. "I'm Velvet.  I'm in charge of you now.  Got it?"

"Iono about that one, Velvet." Keira sat up, but she didn't close her legs. She didn't do a thing to preserve an ounce of modesty. She puffed out her cheeks, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "I think I'ma need to innerview you if you wan' the job, I'm kinda' a big deal an' also a little deal too sooo.."

"No," I said sternly. "There's no interview.  I'm in charge.  If you need something, come to me.  Otherwise, you'll be in trouble." I thought I was commanding a lot of respect.  Actually, I felt a lot like Colette!  But then she laughed at me and fell back on the bed.  I pouted a little. "I'm serious!"

"I regrets to inform you, Miss Veeellllllvet," Keira held the first syllable and then sharply released on the latter one, almost contemptuously, "that you haaaaaaavee," again with the drawing out! "not," and sharp, "been selected for this role. Buuuuut!" She sat back up. "Be sure to apply again in future!"

I balled my hands at my sides.  I wanted to hit her!  I wanted to show her that I wasn't just some small girl!  But as the aggression built up in my chest, I started to feel sick.  Tears filled my eyes and I hurried to wipe them away.  Then, before Keira could notice, I ran out of her room in a huff. "It's just the milk," I reminded myself. "When she comes off it, I’ll show her I’m in charge.”

"Are you okay, Velvet?" Bree peered her head over the playpen wall at the pretty girl tucked up with a beanbag pulled over herself like a blanket, trying desperately to rub the tears out of her eyes. Bree had seen her storm off, but gave her a good fifteen before approaching, just to give her space.

"Fine," I said sourly.  Colette had told me that if I wanted to get out of diapers, I needed to take care of that girl.  But she was such a brat!  Was I that much of a brat?  I took a deep breath and tried to relax. "I'm such a crybaby now.  When did that start?  In Phase Zero?"

"I'm not sure, honey," Bree responded with sympathy in her tone, "I did warn you that Keira was a bit of a handful, but I bet you can work with her on that - you've been through the wringer here, after all." Those words weren't just encouragement, they were almost... admiration.

"Everyone here is so pretty," I muttered, looking out at the ocean of men in frilly dresses. "I can't even see them as boys anymore.  And Keira, she's only been here a few weeks, and..." I sighed and looked down at my feet. "I guess Marlow's Softening thing really helped people after all... I hate that."

"You were the first, you know?" Bree trailed off, because reminding Velvet of that was probably not helpful. “It helps a lot I think. Like, there's this clear line of 'before' and 'after' where people can look in the mirror and they don't see the face of the person who did that bad stuff anymore?"

That bad stuff.  All those people I killed.  I felt my stomach turn in knots; I never used to care what happened to others, but now... "I guess you're right," I muttered. "I'm not who I used to be.  I don't even want to be anymore.  This place... changed me.  I hate that they won."

"Do you hate that they won? Or do you hate that you fought so long to hold onto a you that you didn't even want to be?" Someone called Bree's name and she looked over her shoulder, then back at Velvet. "I gotta go play, Velvet. Don't give up on Keira, okay? Reach her like you'd wanna be reached. You got this. I love you!"

There was a time between lunch and dinner where Keira wouldn't be under the haze of the milk.  That's when I'd talk to her.  Until then, I was content to just sit and think.  A me that I didn't want to be... that's what Bree said.  But I wanted to be that boy!  Didn't I?  There was only one way to know for sure.  

I closed my eyes and went to my library.  History section.  Memories of my past.  I took a book off the shelf and read the cover.  15 years old, part 3 of 19.  Quietly, I turned a few pages.  Me, at lunch.  Looking across the cafeteria at Lance McDougal.  Ugh, I had such a crush on him!  But I was pretty closeted back then.  I read the whole chapter, talking about Lance's eyes, his hair, his smile.  And at the end, a sentence I don't ever remember thinking. "If only I were a girl..." I closed the book with a snap.

-------------

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[diaperpt]

3 hours ago, Sophie ♥ said:

"If only I were a girl..."

Surprise! What a revelation! An epiphany. Just those words, forgotten and then found! You did steal that from me, you know...

But what an amazing twist in this story! And fun that this began with an insightful comment from one of the other girls.

Aside from that, Keira is definitely going to be a challenge but my guess is that Velvet will find it within herself to deal with this. Can't wait to see how!

[littleTomás]

Will Velvet be able to rearrange her library or has it been altered forever? Only time will tell.

[Bonsai]

I like Keira and look forward to know her better. So now Velvet will feel sick each time she gets the impulse to become violent? Not very original, but effective!

[Sophie ♥]

1 hour ago, Bonsai said:

So now Velvet will feel sick each time she gets the impulse to become violent? Not very original, but effective!

Mm sickness in this sense is more a physical manifestation of guilt?  She feels uneasy, and that is sort of like... nausea?  Kinda like that.    It's like how a child says they have a tummy ache when they do something bad.  They don't really get the /idea/ of guilt, but they just know it feels bad in their tummy.

[Wannatripbaby]

Well Kiera is definitely amusing at the very least. Looking forward to seeing her without the milk.

[Sophie ♥]

49.) Her Revelation

I spent all afternoon sifting through my library.  Was it just a wayward thought?  If I were a girl, Lance would like me.  We could date or whatever.  That didn't mean I wanted to be a girl!  But my 9 Years Old books talked about how much I wanted a cute dress for Christmas.  My 13 Years Old books said I was jealous of girls for having boobs.  And in 19 Years Old book 8 of 21 wrote out plainly: if Roger wasn't gay, I would transition right now.  Did... did I want to be a girl all along...?  Had I just repressed it?  I shook my head.  This was too much to handle.  I pushed my library away and came back to the present, in the playroom of baby women.  I wiped the sweat from my head and stumbled to my feet.  But then I was met with another unexpected truth: the seat of my dress was soaked.

"Do you need a change, Velvet?" Miss Duke would be too formal for a girl in her stage of the program, which was why the attending nurse used the young girl’s given name in this instance. Velvet looked up at her, blinked once or twice, like she was talking a different language, and then scrambled for a blanket or something to cover her wet self.

"N-no.  I'm fine!  I, um... I want to see Colette." Why was I wet?  I didn't wet myself!  I didn't even have to use the bathroom!  Maybe I'd had an accident while I meditated, but that didn't make sense either.  I would have felt it! "Miss Colette is out for lunch.  Let's get you cleaned up." "I don't need help!" I said harshly, hiding my wet butt against the wall.

"You don't need help, that's true, you're probably very capable of handling this yourself, Velvet," the nurse agreed, smiling warmly, "but if you let me help you, then I can get your dress in the laundry and you won't have to worry about hiding what happened, will you?" Logic, right?

I looked nervously around the room, glancing from one pretty boy to the next.  No one was paying any attention to me, but what would happen if they saw the huge wet spot on the back of my dress?  And then there was the Keira problem.  Could she even take me seriously if I looked no more grown up than she did?  I bit my lip and looked down at the ground. "I... I guess..."

"Good girl." The nurse smiled and pulled a sucker from her pocket, dismissing the wrapper in just as smooth a motion before settling it into its final home between Velvet's pretty lips. "Come on." Her hand went to Velvet’s and she led her to a side room that seemed uniquely purposed for this task.

I had been in rooms like this before.  Diaper changes were second nature by now.  I climbed up on the table and laid down on my back, staring up at the little spinning disk.  Music filled the room, something soothing. "I dunno what happened," I tried to explain to the nurse. "I didn't wet myself.  Maybe I sat in something?"

"Maybe." This was a trick that Velvet herself had been the progenitor of so long ago - never argue with the people you're controlling - rather, be noncommittal, let them talk themselves down or around in circles: both options were good. "Red, right?" This question came after a few moments of Velvet muttering to herself, and after the nurse had done cleaning her up and was preparing to re-dress her - in a diaper, of course. "Your favorite color?"

"Oh.  Um." I looked at the nurse with a bit of confusion, but one look at the item in her hands quickly explained her question.  A diaper, but it was red.  A red diaper?  I'd never seen something like that before.  Maybe it was a special. "Yes please."

"How'd I know? Maybe it's your bright smile, or your fire-engine red blush, huh?" The nurse smiled and began to unfold the diaper, because Velvet was getting diapered whether she realized it or not. It was a simple process: unfold, deploy, pull-thru, and tape. And the red seemed to captivate Velvet's pretty blue gaze, too.

"When is Colette going to be back?" I asked. "Maybe after dinner," the nurse told me. "Now arms up." I put my arms up and the woman stripped me of my dress.  I remembered six months ago, when I arrived, and most of the orderlies were men.  There were a few women here and there, but the staff seemed more diverse now.  I sat quietly on the table in just my red diaper, staring down at the bright plastic.

"Some of the others are planning to play a board game in a few minutes; are you going to play? It's a pretty cool one, or at least that's what they're all saying. I bet you're really good at games, right Velvet?" Her dress was stunning, red gingham, gorgeous bows and ribbons, and puffy as could be.

"Uh huh." Actually, board games were sort of boring to me.  I was notoriously good at them!  Reading people was part of being a psychologist, and I was one of the best.  But maybe it would be fun?  And if Keira was playing, I could get to know her a little better.  I walked out of the changing room, sucking on my lollipop, without a second thought about what I was wearing.

"Ohhhh Veeeeeelvet," There was that same sweet voice with the clipped off inflection, that tone that could only ever have belonged to one girl: Keira. "I sees you gots dressed up! Issit 'cuz you wants another innerview wif' me?" Keira was dressed in a pretty school uniform, and seemed to have absolutely zero shame, even though she was sitting on the floor in diapers so thick her thighs hadn't seen each other in ages.

I gave her a sour look.  I detested her optimism.  Why was she so damn happy, anyway?  This place had literally taken her life away.  It turned her into a girl.  Not even a woman, but a diaper-pissing little girl!  I sat down across from her with irritation and put on a fake smile. "You look cute yourself.  Like a schoolgirl.  No older than two years old, right?"

"Mmmm..." She put one finger to her chin in an exaggerated thinking pose, pursed her lips, and then shook her head. "Tha's a diffy-cool question, 'cause a two years old would be so articulates as me, but,” - again with the clipped off inflection! - "I sure do poop my pants a whole bunches so who even knows!" She giggled, and not some broken or lost way, but like she was actually amused.

...was she still on the milk?  No, her eyes were clear and blue.  Excited, even.  But she was so candid, so forward.  I didn't understand her at all...  For the rest of the game, I was lost in thought.  Actually, I was so lost that I didn't even win.  Some girl at the end of the table did - she wore her short hair in curls and wasn't half as cute as Keira.  The bell rang for dinner and all the girls started making their way to the large plastic table.

I looked down at the chicken nuggets and the sippy-cup of juice in front of me.  No milk?  I guess Colette had bumped me up to a Second after all.  That brought a warmth of pride to my chest and I didn't even question the childish food or the childish cup.  After all, it was a reward!

I watched Keira with curiosity for the whole meal.  She sipped her bottle with no hesitation.  She waddled around the playroom with careless abandon.  And then she fell asleep for an evening nap amidst the TV of tricks, designed to make you dumber.  And for everything I saw, I was certain... she wanted to be here.  She wanted this.  Was that because of Colette?  A hypnosis thing?  I was determined to find the answer.

"Keira?  Come with me, please." She was half-asleep and half-dazed from the milk.  This was the only time I seemed capable of making her listen to me.  She followed me into our shared bedroom and I sat her on the edge of her bed.  Time to do some exploring.

"I hads a dream, and you were innit, an' also it was like one of those Sega games, and I was a hedgehog and you were a rabbit…” Keira yawned and rubbed her eyes, either for cuteness effect or just because she was still legitimately waking up. Or both.

I touched her soft hair and looked down at her with a gentle smile. "Mmhmm.  Sounds like a lovely dream.  You have a lot of dreams, don't you?  Little stories in your head..." Like books in a library.

"Close your eyes... let those happy stories come to you.  Relax..." Though from the smell of her diaper, she was relaxed well enough.  I watched her sink into her bed and played softly with her hair.  The milk was such a great way to get someone into a trance!  Honestly, the whole idea was genius.  No wonder Colette was so talented.

Despite her confidence, a trance came easy to her.  I played around in Keira's head for a minute, solidifying my ground, before asking the serious questions.

"Keira... what a girly name.  Does that make you a girl?"

"I'm a girl." Keira answered, but it wasn't really an answer to the question itself, so much as it was an answer in general. She saw herself as a girl, that much was for certain, but there seemed to be something more to the story based on her inflection.

"You are so certain you're a girl," I said quietly, both to clarify and to validate her feelings.  I didn't want to undo any work Colette was doing.  She would get mad and I'd be stuck here for the rest of my life. "How are you so sure?"

"How do you know how to breathe?" It was remarkable, though, that in her trance she seemed to lose a good deal of her more childish inflections. Not all of them, but enough that it was noticeable. Her voice was still soft and precious, undeniably feminine.

Hm... she was an enigma.  She spoke strangely, like someone who had been given hypnotic conditions before.  My job was to figure out when this one was implanted.  Was it Colette?

"You remember the first time you thought that... the first time you were sure you were a girl.  The scene fills your mind, surrounding you.  The darkness reveals itself... your memory.  What do you see?"

"The mirror," she answered, simply. "Blue eyes. Pretty blue eyes. So pretty. Too pretty." No distress in her tone, though. No concern. "Pretty blue eyes. Pretty baby girl." Interesting that she attributed the word baby to a question regarding her gender, perhaps.

I crossed my arms.  Strange.  The Softening did this?  But...

"Pretty blue eyes," I repeated. "They make you such a pretty girl.  And before that... had you ever wanted to be a girl?  Had you ever had a feeling?  Like maybe... maybe you were destined..."

I was getting too personal.  All those books in my library, all those memories I had... I was imposing them on her.  I had to be more careful.  I bit my lip.  Maybe this was a bad idea...

"Starting over." That reply took a little bit longer than the others, like she struggled to find the words for it, like she couldn't put her finger on it. "Changing stories is hard. Changing books is easy, if you start over." No talk of destiny, predetermination. But a clue. She used to be a rebel, perhaps?

"You had another story, before this one..." She nodded her head. "You were a boy in that story." She nodded again.  Now I was understanding.  She wasn't embarrassed about being a baby girl because - to her - she was starting from scratch.  This place wasn't changing her - it was resetting her.

"That old story... that old book.  It sits in front of you.  You open it, only to check something.  It's not you.  It's not your life.  It's just a story."

The way I spoke was fluid and magical.  The kind of voice that anyone could take as their own.  I watched the fear fade from Keira's face.

"Tell me about the protagonist."

"This is the story of a very clever prince, too very clever, clever wit, clever mind, clever tongue, clever hands. Think think think. Stay ahead of those who chase. Plan plan plan. Much too clever to be caught. Dig dig dig. He's in lots of trouble, but too clever to see it. Eyes closed to the truth, arrogant, ignorant. Dumb little prince."

...this wasn't hypnosis.  This was almost poetic.  I looked down at the semi-sleeping girl and leaned away from her, wrapping my arms around myself.  What the hell...

"I... um..." I shook my head, trying to slide back into my professional stoicism.  But something about her story hit too close to home.  "That story is gone.  This story is new.  A new story about a girl named Keira... tell me about this story."

There was a moment of buffering there too, but the answer came with a chipper smile and a delicate cadence. "Keira is a pretty princess, pretty and kind and clever but not too clever. Keira knows to say sorry, she knows to say she's wrong, she's happy and she's kind, to herself and to others. Her story is on gilded pages, she knows how lucky she is, with her pretty blue eyes."

I let out a sigh and wrapped things up.  Basic sleep hypnosis stuff.  And when the girl was sound asleep, I made my way to the bed on the other side of the room and laid down.

She really wanted to be a girl, huh?  It wasn't hypnosis.  Then... then maybe her and I were the same.  And in a strange way, she was right about starting over.  I couldn't be that boy I once was.  I couldn't even remember his name.  But I could be Velvet.  I could have a new life...

-------------

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[littleTomás]

Very interesting! I love how this plot continually gets more interesting.