Unsolicited Private Messages From Newbies

[Sunshine2585]

Hey im new here and im not sure wot PM is, 'Personal message'? I'm kind of sensing that females and males dont get on too well on these boards, which i guess is fair enough as the majority of men are 'after one thing'. Shame about the males out there that dont care and just want to make friends. Personally i think trying to get a relationship over the net is rather silly

Yep. PM is personal message. But that includes people private messaging you in the chat room or messaging on the forums.

And I think you need to explore the forum a little bit more before you make judgements about whether or not the men and women get on here. I have friends on here that are women, and I have friends on here that are men. But these friendships have developed through interaction on the board. None of the friendships have started because they have sent me an unsolicited PM. If a guy wanted to be friends with me, and didn't post much on the board. Or didn't post in the same places that I do, then I would expect a PM from them to be more well thought out than some of the one line messages that have been quoted over the pages of this thread.

As I have said before in this thread, if someone messages me and I have seen their screen name around the boards, or their message is longer than a couple of sentences and seems to be thought out, then I will probably reply to them. I wouldn't discriminate against them just because their profile said that they were a guy.

[Sunshine2585]

i just did.

you can scream this until your head blows off into tiny pieces, i still think its pathetic that you guys/girls are getting disturbed by this. its always happened, and no matter how many posts you put up, its going to continue to happen.

Jesus. Do you read? You quoted my post but apparently didn't read it properly.

This thread was created in the hope that people would see it and be discouraged from sending these messages to the women on the board

Where in that sentence do I say that people are getting disturbed by it. It is annoying. But not disturbing.

And I know this is something that you wouldn't know, but the amount of PM's that I have been receiving has certainly decreased after this thread was started.

I don't even know why I am bothering to waste my time replying to you, because you are clearly quite ignorant, so won't take any notice of it.

[DollyDiaper]

Oh my god. How many times does this need to be said. The type of people that send these mass PM's are sending them to girls. I assume that they go into the members list and do a search for all the girls and then copy and paste a message to all of them.

So b0xer, the fact that your profile lists you as a guy means that you aren't getting these PM's. So you can't judge whether it is something that people get mad over.

We aren't whining, or getting mad over the littlest thing. This thread was created in the hope that people would see it and be discouraged from sending these messages to the women on the board. And also think about it, the fact that there are way more men here than there are women is something that has been mentioned many times before. And this site is hardly going to attract girls if they come here and are bombarded by PM's from horny guys from the moment they arrive.

B0xer, until you turn into a woman, which I doubt is going to happen, or you change your profile to say that you are a woman, then you have no right to comment on whether this sort of thing is annoying or not.

Well said Sunshine, and I also totally agree with your subsequent posts in this thread.

As so often happens, women aren't allowed to voice their own experiences, but must have them described and dictated for them by (some) men. We've seen this happening over and over again in this topic.

D lly

[b0xer21]

Jesus. Do you read? You quoted my post but apparently didn't read it properly.

Where in that sentence do I say that people are getting disturbed by it. It is annoying. But not disturbing.

And I know this is something that you wouldn't know, but the amount of PM's that I have been receiving has certainly decreased after this thread was started.

I don't even know why I am bothering to waste my time replying to you, because you are clearly quite ignorant, so won't take any notice of it.

wow....such hostility...

Ok, you can get nit picky over words...such as disturbing and annoying. But the meaning is similar in nature. Lighten up, this is a discussion. And I'm ignorant? Come on...thats getting a bit immature there isn't it? So lets try this again, and actually act our real age.

[b0xer21]

Well said Sunshine, and I also totally agree with your subsequent posts in this thread.

As so often happens, women aren't allowed to voice their own experiences, but must have them described and dictated for them by (some) men. We've seen this happening over and over again in this topic.

D lly

Wait, what? Did I miss something? You voice your opinion, I voice my opinion, and repeat. Thats usually what happens on a discussion board. In no way did I try to repeat history and ultimately oppress women. Who has tried to dictate what?

I'm sorry you feel inferior and oppressed by the male perspective.

[Sunshine2585]

wow....such hostility...

Ok, you can get nit picky over words...such as disturbing and annoying. But the meaning is similar in nature. Lighten up, this is a discussion. And I'm ignorant? Come on...thats getting a bit immature there isn't it? So lets try this again, and actually act our real age.

I'm not going to reply to what you said to Dolly. I'm sure she will address the points you made in reply to her post.

Definition of 'disturbing':

To break up or destroy the tranquillity or settled state of: "Subterranean fires and deep unrest disturb the whole area" (Rachel Carson).

To trouble emotionally or mentally; upset.

To interfere with; interrupt: noise that disturbed my sleep.

To intrude on; inconvenience: Constant calls disturbed her work.

To put out of order; disarrange.

Definition of 'annoying':

causing annoyance; irritatingly bothersome

Going by those definitions, I would definitely say that the unsolicited PM's are annoying. They are irritating and bothersome. They certainly are not upsetting me in anyway and they aren't troubling me emotionally.

Disturbing and annoying are two separate words which mean different things.

How is calling you ignorant immature? It is the truth and has been seen by probably everyone who has seen what you have posted in here tonight. Plus, how many five year olds do you think know the word 'ignorant'?

[DollyDiaper]

Wait, what? Did I miss something? You voice your opinion, I voice my opinion, and repeat. Thats usually what happens on a discussion board. In no way did I try to repeat history and ultimately oppress women. Who has tried to dictate what?

I'm sorry you feel inferior and oppressed by the male perspective.

At this point, I would normally quote all your posts in this thread and highlight a number of things you've said that have denied women the right to speak for themselves. That is, I would do it if I thought you would listen and at least think about it.

However, I'll just deal with the last sentence in your post above. Please don't dictate to me telling me I feel inferior and oppressed by the male perspective. You clearly have no idea how I feel.

D lly

[Guest Diaperdragon]

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At the risk of shooting my mouth off, b0xer21 you need to calm your

raging hormones boy. I think it clearly shows that the Unsolicited

Pm's come from guys who are looking for sex, changing diapers,

diapering together and just being diapered are just rude, stupid and

to the guys that are looking are nothing more than idiots. I just

think that guys are responsible for running women away because with

their raging hormones and that when a girl comes to a place like

this, they get hit on like a piece of meat ready to be attacked at.

That's why I think that the girls here are complaining that their

getting a lot of unwanted and Unsolicited Pm's about sex, changing

diapers, being friends or being diapered together.

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[b0xer21]

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At the risk of shooting my mouth off, b0xer21 you need to calm your

raging hormones boy. I think it clearly shows that the Unsolicited

Pm's come from guys who are looking for sex, changing diapers,

diapering together and just being diapered are just rude, stupid and

to the guys that are looking are nothing more than idiots. I just

think that guys are responsible for running women away because with

their raging hormones and that when a girl comes to a place like

this, they get hit on like a piece of meat ready to be attacked at.

That's why I think that the girls here are complaining that their

getting a lot of unwanted and Unsolicited Pm's about sex, changing

diapers, being friends or being diapered together.

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I'm confused...calm my raging hormones? I've sent 1 maybe 2 different people PMs, and that was in terms of their incontinence. so what are you talkin about?

I'm glad that you girls are complaining, but i'm going to look at this from a completely 3rd person perspective, leaving me out. It once started out as you complaining, me saying you were overreacting. Now, its just morphed into a witch hunt, where it seems anyone that opposes you is in line to be shot. call me ignorant, in fact, call me stupid for that matter....this is a message board. a reputation on a message board doesn't matter to me. whether everyone hates me or likes me, is irrelevant. but you know my opinion on this matter, and i'll probably stop posting here, because all this is turning out to be is a childish flame war, which is silly.

[DollyDiaper]

Well I didn't get shot! But you missed what I was trying to say so I will try it a different way. I hate it when a few people look for something that they can start a big BS session. If you are getting unwanted PM's then try BLOCKING them I think you can still do that. As far as being added to someones Fav. list I still don't get why this is a big deal, unless you are just looking for something to start a big BS session. ( see I did not use the bad word this time) Maybe I should not have used the "B" word last time and for that I am truly sorry.

I understood you perfectly well the first time thank you. I just don't happen to agree with you.

As for BLOCKING PM's, as you suggest. Yes, I could do this, but as the type of PM I'm objecting to is almost invariably a one-off from a new member with no posts to their name, blocking is not an option until after the event!

D lly

[Sunshine2585]

Yep. And after the event the person hardly ever bothers to message again. Instead, we get another similar message from another new person. Pampermeinia, are you perhaps suggesting that we monitor the new people that join up on the site and block the usernames of the people who look like they could be the HNG's who send these types of messages? Because that would be impossible.

Or maybe you are suggesting that all the women who are annoyed by these messages should change their settings so that we don't get messages from anyone at all. But why should we miss out on getting messages from friends because there are some guys out there that don't have any manners?

And as for why we are objecting when random guys add us to their friends list. To me the reason seems fairly obvious. But I guess that because it isn't happening to you, then it isn't something you have really thought about. Do I really want people to go to that guys profile and think that I am friends with them? Just one of countless women that he is friends with? Surprisingly enough, no that isn't something I want to happen.

And just to let you know, the first time a random guy ever added me to his friends list, I did message him and ask him why, since I didn't know him at all. And he admitted that he had done it because he was hoping that by adding all the women to his friends list, they would message him and he would be able to get to know them. I told him that if he wanted to be friends, then that wasn't the way to do it. And he got really pissed off. So I haven't bothered to message anyone else since then. If that is the reason they are doing it, then I don't want to prove to them that their methods work.

[heavensangelbaby]

For me personally I'm new and I'd rather not be hit by these anonymous a/s/l questions

They irritate me badly

and personally I think it's a way they weed out who they wanna talk to

I've been ignored by responding to that question incorrectly and it really irritated me

Why don't people just grow up (in a sort of speak) and make friends the old fasion way

not the internet way

But if I get another a/s/l Question I'm going to ignore it I will not respond to it

Get to know me first You'll see I'm a nice person and a great friend

[DollyDiaper]

For me personally I'm new and I'd rather not be hit by these anonymous a/s/l questions

They irritate me badly

and personally I think it's a way they weed out who they wanna talk to

I've been ignored by responding to that question incorrectly and it really irritated me

Why don't people just grow up (in a sort of speak) and make friends the old fasion way

not the internet way

But if I get another a/s/l Question I'm going to ignore it I will not respond to it

Get to know me first You'll see I'm a nice person and a great friend

Good post heavensangel, and it's good to welcome you here too.

I'm really sorry you've also been subjected to the annoying and disrespectful one-liners in PM As a new member yourself, thank you for helping to reinforce what we are trying to get across and showing by example that it doesn't have to be that way.

D lly

[diaprbayb]

Well I didn't get shot! But you missed what I was trying to say so I will try it a different way. I hate it when a few people look for something that they can start a big BS session. If you are getting unwanted PM's then try BLOCKING them I think you can still do that. As far as being added to someones Fav. list I still don't get why this is a big deal, unless you are just looking for something to start a big BS session. ( see I did not use the bad word this time) Maybe I should not have used the "B" word last time and for that I am truly sorry.

We all get that "you don't get it". but now I don't get is why you keep posting in here? You added nothng helpful. Then comeback and repeat it. It's becoming obvious that your true motive is to aggrivate the author.

these real women have a real problem. Since there are just a"few" of them, dosen't make it a joke.

[Sunshine2585]

maybe I should start a topic called "things that I like to cry about" then you gals can get your box of tissue's and grab your keyboard and just go to town. You know who I am talking to.

So if you were a mod that would be your input to the forum? Wow. And here is me thinking that something even better than that idea would be to make a topic where the guys on this forum like you and boxer can go and post things designed to cause arguments. In fact, an even better idea would be if you two had your own topic. You could argue with each other and leave the rest of the board in peace where everyone would probably get on a lot better.

Oh, and I know you probably spend all your time here thinking of stupid things to say to try and cause arguments, so you probably won't have realised that there is an edit button. As the name suggests, it allows you to edit posts rather than posting three times in a row.

EDIT: To show pampermeinia how an edited post looks, I have edited this one to add in that he has now deleted the post which I quoted. The post I quoted came just before his post above. And there was another one which he has also deleted which simply said something about how at that point in time Dolly was looking at this thread.

[Sunshine2585]

Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry is that better?

Yes you are right all I do is spend my time thinking of "stupid" things to say that gets you fired up!

This is not an argument

OH thankyou for showing me the way!!!

EDIT yet again I only edit when I feel I need to!

Glad I was able to teach you a new skill. And thanks for admitting that you do write stuff deliberately to cause arguments. Now that you have said that, maybe we can put an end to this and this thread can go back to its original purpose.

[Sunshine2585]

OH THANK YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow. I wasn't expecting a thank you for it. I really appreciate the thank you, especially because the vomity smilie at the top indicates to me that you don't find saying 'thank you' easy.

Anyway, now the thank you's are over, we should let this topic get back on track like I suggested in my last post.

Since that message the other day which I posted in here, I haven't had any more PM's like that. Although I did get an email the other day. I hadn't realised that people could still send me emails through this site. So I have changed my settings now, meaning I won't be getting any more emails.

Has anyone else had any messages recently?

[Guest Diaperdragon]

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Yea, I have had Unsolicited Pm's from guys who ask for my ASL. They

sometimes ask if i want to have my diapers changed and to be diapered

together. The most rudest ones are the ones that Instant message me

and ask me for my ASL, If i have a pic of myself in a diaper and i

want to see a web cam of them. I believe that their are some guys

that are exhibitionists and some that are pure perverts that want to

see, meet and add girls to their list. It seems that their are some

guys that insecure and that some

Even in the chat rooms, i had guys who wanted to PM me, ask for my

Asl and ask me if i wanted to have my diaper changed.

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[Guest Diaperdragon]

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Ya know, i've been on the chat room and i am already being

Unsolicited Pmed from PT-DL80110 and from Bigdaddyjed. I tell you

this has gotta stop. These guys are nothing perve's in my view when

then PM a girl unannounced and without any permission. It seems in

the chat rooms that their are guys that are prowling for girls to

chat, befriend and to add to the list, saying that they have girls

that are into DL. It seems that these guys need to learn that un

announced PM is a BIG TURN OFF. and that's one of the fastest way of

being dissed and ignored.

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[Codymoogle]

Hey,

I've been reading this thread for a while and I've been having the same problem, except for me, it's mostly the PM's in chat. I'm not exactly sure what us girls have to do to get through to some of these guys...It drives me nuts.

One person even PM-ed me a week or so back saying "So, have you ever thought about us, you know, having fun in our diapers?" when I only talked to him casually once or twice in chat (you know who you are)...I mean, what in the world?

Because of all this crap, I've put a statement in my signature plainly stating what I consider to be unacceptable PM ettiquite, hence what not to do if you want me to talk to you, and if you disregard any of my PM-ing rules when PM-ing me, you'll get ignored. Yet people still PM.

Someone even said "I don't understand" after I told them to read my signature for my PM-ing rules. Guys, is it really that hard to just ask before PM-ing and stay away from lewd, crude, and unpleasent conversation, especially in the beginning of a private conversation? I wouldn't think so, but apparently for some it is. Please, get it through your heads. We girls want respect...not to have to deal with your horniness 24/7.

For reference, as plain as day, here is the PM ettiquite message in my signature, in case no one looks at signatures anymore...

~ Please don't PM me in chat without asking, and please don't PM me asking questions such as "A/S/L?", "Are you wet?", or rude questions such as those. I'm taken and asking me those kind of questions, as well as PM-ing me without prior notice, will get you ignored. Also, PM-ing multiple times after getting ignored by me won't get you anywhere. These guidelines apply to board PM's also. Please respect them. I'm a girl, but that doesn't mean I'm fuel for any of your desires. Follow these guidelines and you'll have a better chance of getting to make friends with me. ~

Is this clear enough? Or must I make it more simplfied?

[Guest Diaperdragon]

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Hey,

I've been reading this thread for a while and I've been having the

same problem, except for me, it's mostly the PM's in chat. I'm not

exactly sure what us girls have to do to get through to some of these

guys...It drives me nuts.

One person even PM-ed me a week or so back saying "So, have you ever

thought about us, you know, having fun in our diapers?" when I only

talked to him casually once or twice in chat (you know who you

are)...I mean, what in the world?

Because of all this crap, I've put a statement in my signature

plainly stating what I consider to be unacceptable PM ettiquite,

hence what not to do if you want me to talk to you, and if you

disregard any of my PM-ing rules when PM-ing me, you'll get ignored.

Yet people still PM.

Someone even said "I don't understand" after I told them to read my

signature for my PM-ing rules. Guys, is it really that hard to just

ask before PM-ing and stay away from lewd, crude, and unpleasent

conversation, especially in the beginning of a private conversation?

I wouldn't think so, but apparently for some it is. Please, get it

through your heads. We girls want respect...not to have to deal with

your horniness 24/7.

For reference, as plain as day, here is the PM ettiquite message in

my signature, in case no one looks at signatures anymore...

~ Please don't PM me

in chat without asking, and please don't PM me asking questions such

as "A/S/L?", "Are you wet?", or rude questions such as those. I'm

taken and asking me those kind of questions, as well as PM-ing me

without prior notice, will get you ignored. Also, PM-ing

multiple times after getting ignored by me won't get you anywhere.

These guidelines apply to board PM's also. Please respect them. I'm a

girl, but that doesn't mean I'm fuel for any of your desires. Follow

these guidelines and you'll have a better chance of getting to make

friends with me. ~

Is this clear enough? Or must I make it more

simplfied?

That is a very good idea for most girls to have on their signature.

It just seems that these guys seem to have a horny appaitie for girls

in diapers and some of the guys that do PM girls r just down right

rude, obnoxious and horny. The problem with the guys is that guys

just simply want girls added to their list because they want to say

they have so many girls to chat with. The problem with the guys is

that when they see a girl in a diaper, them see a target of

opportunity and for something to check out and hit on.

I see as guys having deep sexual health and relationship issues. See

for guys, we girls are eye candy to them and things like fetishes are

extreme eye candy to them. So for a girl to have a fetish such as

diapers, were Eye candy to them. It's like this girls, we have

panties, guys want to drool and wear what we wear. When we wear sexy

and flirty clothes guys want to hit on us, PM us and chat with us

like were a peice of meat ready to be attacked.

The problem with guys, is they don't think before they act, they do

first and then think. They don't give us girls any respect and that's

what we want RESPECT. But some guys have very thick head which some

guys will never learn and that's why girls end up being single,

Bisexual or lesbian.

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[Saotome]

The broad paintbrush swipes of stereotypes towards guys in general bother me a bit in some of these posts. I am a guy and yes even I get the PM's from other guys trying to find the girls and I just call them out in the chat itself and generally it will stop. I was Pm'd twice in the chat by the same guy at two different times last night and after telling him in front of the others that he had done it he actually started talking in the chat and left me alone. I don't send many Pm's and when I do I always ask first. I am not looking for love on this site and from what I can tell it's not all guys who do this. It's actually just a handful of the bunch spoiling it for the rest.

I agree however that the real girls and really even some of the guys who are getting these PM's shouldn't have to completely change our experience when visiting this site because a few rude people cannot seem to grasp the idea of manners and privacy. I wish I had an answer for the problem so that people who are being bombarded by Pm's could chat happily, but i don't. Unfortunately I am not even sure there is a real answer short of blocking all PM's and that's not fair to the ones who are forced to do it. The bad thing is no matter what actions are taken the determined ones will always find a way to get what they want.

[DollyDiaper]

The broad paintbrush swipes of stereotypes towards guys in general bother me a bit in some of these posts. I am a guy and yes even I get the PM's from other guys trying to find the girls and I just call them out in the chat itself and generally it will stop. I was Pm'd twice in the chat by the same guy at two different times last night and after telling him in front of the others that he had done it he actually started talking in the chat and left me alone. I don't send many Pm's and when I do I always ask first. I am not looking for love on this site and from what I can tell it's not all guys who do this. It's actually just a handful of the bunch spoiling it for the rest.

I agree however that the real girls and really even some of the guys who are getting these PM's shouldn't have to completely change our experience when visiting this site because a few rude people cannot seem to grasp the idea of manners and privacy. I wish I had an answer for the problem so that people who are being bombarded by Pm's could chat happily, but i don't. Unfortunately I am not even sure there is a real answer short of blocking all PM's and that's not fair to the ones who are forced to do it. The bad thing is no matter what actions are taken the determined ones will always find a way to get what they want.

Thank you for expressing exactly how I feel on this issue Soatome. I read your post twice just to make certain, but I completely agree with every thought and feeling you've expressed in it.

And thanks also for disproving something that I was unjustly accused of earlier in this thread i.e. "...feeling inferior and opressed by the male perspective."

D lly

[seppuku]

The guys who do this are really accomplishing nothing more than bringing the hate down upon themselves, and suspicion upon every other non-female creature around them.

Giving women further reason to believe that they're just seen as potential targets doesn't accomplish anything except pissing them off, and pissing people like myself off. I've gotten a few unsolicited PMs, but nothing really serious. I agree with Saotome that the sweeping generalizations don't really help anything, however i'd wager that there are only a few who are responsible for all this, and maybe we should... as a community, male, female, or everything in between, start taking a more vocal and more harsh stance on it. Men included - if you want to be excluded from that sweeping generalization, then show these women that you're with them, and take a vocal stand against this crap. It seems that only the women mostly (but like 3 or 4 men... of hundreds) have stood up and said anything, and some of the men have even tried to downplay their problems!

I'm with you.

(as an aside: this is a rather disjointed rant, so forgive me if it seems a bit odd or a bit off the mark)

[Pipsqueak]

Not off the mark at all, seppuku! Thank you for speaking up. Most of the men on the board are lovely and considerate, but some, due to ignorance or lack of experience in dealing with women are a constant irritant. And you're perfectly correct that their behaviour makes women more likely to be suspicious of all the guys' motives, until proven otherwise.